Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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joyce: *whispers* missionary position
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May 5, 2026

Distressingly

by David M Willis on December 24, 2021 at 12:01 am
  • 02 – I'll Leave You A Phantom
└ Tags: amber, joe

Discussion (143) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    December 24, 2021 at 12:04 am | #

    can’t wait to do this at MAGFest

    carrying a coat is a pain in the ass

    • Decidedly Orthogonal
      Decidedly Orthogonal
      December 24, 2021 at 8:23 am | #

      Missionary? Or were you not referring to the al-text?

  2. The Wellerman
    The Wellerman
    December 24, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

    Wait, I’m confused. Did Joe WANT to “corrupt” Joyce?

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      December 24, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

      As I recall, Joe made a comment on how was going to “break Joyce in” and has yet to admit what Joyce’s number before he made it 0.

      • Kyrik Michalowski
        Kyrik Michalowski
        December 24, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

        Take mine as paraphrasing since I don’t remember the actual quote.

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        December 24, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

        he outright said to Danny it was a 4 that could be ‘upgraded’ to a ten.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          December 24, 2021 at 2:41 am | #

          Yup. Thankfully, he’s grown up a lot since then.

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/03-men-are-from-beck-women-are-from-clark/corrupt/

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        December 24, 2021 at 12:25 am | #

        Minus 0

    • AntJ
      AntJ
      December 24, 2021 at 12:35 am | #

      Joe has wanted to corrupt Joyce the entire run of the comic, but has had some serious introspection after his father got together with Stacy and seems to be stuck between “I want to be better for Joyce” and “Joyce is better too and doesn’t deserve a shallow playboy like me”

    • Techhead
      Techhead
      December 24, 2021 at 1:12 am | #

      I think part of him still wants to, and a louder part of him wishes he didn’t want it.

      • Daniel M Ball
        Daniel M Ball
        December 24, 2021 at 1:52 am | #

        That sounds about right to me.

      • Fay
        Fay
        December 24, 2021 at 2:11 am | #

        I think in Joe’s mind, since he genuinely cares about Joyce, he feels like his sexual desire towards her is a bad thing.
        For as sex-positive as he seems, I think he still views his own sexual desires in as a negative thing.

        • Wereg
          Wereg
          December 24, 2021 at 4:59 am | #

          He got kinda whiplashed after getting flak for his list, which made him kind of reexamine his outlook on a lot of things sexual. That and hard realising that hook ups aren’t what he really wants nowadays. IMO he’s probably gonna develop some wild trauma about both objectifying others and being hardcore objectified in turn.

          That’s just what I remember though, and I could be wrong.

          • Daniel M Ball
            Daniel M Ball
            December 24, 2021 at 3:53 pm | #

            could also be he’s just growing up, and growing out of ‘hook ups’ toward wanting something a bit more substantial and real. ISTR my interest in that stuff died right about age 22, when I realized I wanted more than I could get with my hand and some porn from someone else.

            didn’t do me much good in the long term, but just because you WERE a horndog while the hormones were dominant, doesn’t mean you won’t mature out of it to at least SOME extent.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 24, 2021 at 5:35 am | #

      The way I see it, Joe doesn’t want to be Joyce’s first port of call to learn about how sex works. He doesn’t want to for what her what Liz wanted him to be; an experience to get used to things whereupon she moves onto someone else.

      Liz realized she didn’t want her first time to be with a guy she didn’t know and that it should be with someone she loves (this part is sensible), and then got fueled by her upbringing into thinking she would have ruined herself forever if she slept with him. The parallel there, I think, is that Joe wants to be that guy Joyce loves, and then she’d feel comfortable having sex with him. As it is now, even if Joyce suddenly wanted to have sex with Joe, Joe would think of it as ending the same way it did with Liz (which is debatable, as Joyce does know and trust Joe, just maybe not well enough for that yet), and more importantly, if it worked out then Joyce wouldn’t need him for anything anymore; she banged the indomitable sex monster, had her first time, and now she can go find her real boyfriend.

  3. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    December 24, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    Re: Alt-text

    Joyce, in her current state of mind, would probably want to call it something else.

    Also, she’s probably unaware other positions exist.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      December 24, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

      “Bulmeria position.”

      • John Campbell
        John Campbell
        December 24, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

        That’s where you just imagine that you’re having missionary sex?

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          December 24, 2021 at 12:25 am | #

          Tummy wands are involved.

    • Psychie
      Psychie
      December 24, 2021 at 2:04 am | #

      There was a time where I was confused any time someone would reference sex with the girl being under the guy, because I just was struggling to figure out the mechanics of it, like wouldn’t her legs get in the way? Like if she’s crouching and I’m behind her that would work, and if I’m lying down and she straddles me that would work, but how am I supposed to insert tab A into slot B if *I’m* on top. Then I found porn, and now I just think that missionary seems like a lot more work than it’s worth, like I have to do *all* the work? Sounds exhausting, really, especially if she isn’t on a convenient ledge so I have to do push ups to make it work. I hate push ups. I just wanna be ridden, some day.

    • angie
      angie
      December 24, 2021 at 5:32 am | #

      tbh up until this exact moment I thought “missionary” in the context of missionary sex just meant like “on a mission”. like the easiest position so you are on a mission to fuck and be done with it

  4. Andy
    Andy
    December 24, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

    20 degrees is a good temperature. It’s cold enough that it feels cold but not completely bitter and frigid, and it’s still warm enough to snow. It might be my favorite December temperature. I’m fine with waiting until January for single digits and below-zero.

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      December 24, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

      It’s been so warm down here that I am still using my window a/c.

    • Tan
      Tan
      December 24, 2021 at 1:31 am | #

      Just to check, you realize they’re talking about Fahrenheit, yes?

      • Meagan
        Meagan
        December 24, 2021 at 1:58 am | #

        They must. 20 degrees Fahrenheit is not snow weather.

        • Meagan
          Meagan
          December 24, 2021 at 1:58 am | #

          D’oh! I meant 20 celsius is not snow weather.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            December 24, 2021 at 4:07 am | #

            As I recall it 20°C is a warm room temperature.

            • foamy
              foamy
              December 24, 2021 at 4:52 am | #

              It’s a smidge on the cold side IMO, but it’s certainly entirely reasonable.

            • Uly
              Uly
              December 24, 2021 at 6:31 am | #

              Thirty is hot
              Twenty is nice
              Ten is cold
              Zero is ice.

              (That’s ~86, 68, 50, 32. Double it, take away 1/10, add 32. If you start with a whole number you end with a whole number, otherwise you imply a degree of precision that you don’t actually have.)

              • Plain Marie
                Plain Marie
                December 24, 2021 at 8:17 am | #

                Alternatively:
                0 is freezy but
                10 is not
                20 is breezy and
                30 is hot

            • zee
              zee
              December 24, 2021 at 9:03 am | #

              What no 20°C is freezing. 27 is cool and pleasant

    • KiaStirling
      KiaStirling
      December 24, 2021 at 7:24 pm | #

      As someone who has never experienced weather sub 25F… it gets too cold to snow??? I’m horrified.

      • Andy
        Andy
        December 24, 2021 at 7:30 pm | #

        Oh yeah. When you get down to single digits or below zero, it just doesn’t snow. That’s the sort of bitter cold that I like in January. Where you step outside with gloves and hat and coat on and the air bites at your face a bit and it takes a couple minutes after coming back into the warmth for the chill to fully leave you.

  5. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    December 24, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

    Will someone clue me in as to what Amber means in panel 4?

    Is she just repeating it back to him?

    • Pickonecard
      Pickonecard
      December 24, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

      I think she means “but that’s how you *are* thinking about it, you just don’t want to think about it that way”

      • Steamweed
        Steamweed
        December 24, 2021 at 1:22 am | #

        That’s how I interpreted it, too.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          December 24, 2021 at 2:43 am | #

          Same.

          Note the subtle emphasis on “want”.

    • bret
      bret
      December 24, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

      I read it as her saying he doesn’t want to feel that way, but it’s how he really feels deep down

    • bootshivers
      bootshivers
      December 24, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

      It’s not how he WANTS to think about it, but it’s implied it’s how he DOES think of it.

    • misanthropope
      misanthropope
      December 24, 2021 at 12:25 am | #

      no, i think she’s pointing how off-brand it is for joe to talk like that.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 24, 2021 at 5:53 am | #

      The topic of the strip is that eventually, someone’s gonna bang Joyce, so it might as well be Joe.

      Joe, however, doesn’t want to pounce on the opportunity of being Joyce’s first foray with sex things, doesn’t want it to think of being with Joyce in a way where sleeping with her is just some Thing that’s going to happen and won’t matter to either of them the way sex never mattered to him until recently, and he doesn’t only want to matter to her as an ex-Christian weirdo innocent’s looking stupidly to him for her first freshman year brush with sin.

      My dude is deadass in love, y’all.

  6. BBCC
    BBCC
    December 24, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

    The best siblings, I don’t know what you mean.

    • Plain Marie
      Plain Marie
      December 24, 2021 at 8:22 am | #

      Amber’s mother married Joe’s dad. So Amber and Joe are working their way into their new sibling relationship. Which may include some shared insights, straight talk, fights and competition, annoyances, and digs at each other. At least that’s how I read it.

  7. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    December 24, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

    I feel like Amber’s always had some bluntness, but it does really seem like she’s taking on Mike aspects.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      December 24, 2021 at 12:23 am | #

      She sounds like Joe, actually from the first day

    • Imogen
      Imogen
      December 24, 2021 at 12:38 am | #

      Yeah, I don’t really enjoy her lately. I feel like I’m expected to like her, or see this as her giving Joe his “just desserts”, but she’s just sort of mocking his deepest insecurities. At least with Dina it was an accident.

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        December 24, 2021 at 12:50 am | #

        Wait, how exactly did Dina do that?

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          December 24, 2021 at 1:21 am | #

          I think they’re talking about this?

          • Imogen
            Imogen
            December 24, 2021 at 9:50 pm | #

            I more meant when Joe tried to hint he was looking for emotional support and Dina basically said, “neat” because she didn’t realize until later what he really meant. Totally accidental!

            The horny thing was a little uncomfortable for some reason–I think because it just felt distressingly blunt and maybe a little sexual harassmenty–but I sort of brushed it off because it’s so obviously being played up as a bit.

        • Steamweed
          Steamweed
          December 24, 2021 at 1:24 am | #

          Dina is a very good scientist.

          • The Wellerman
            The Wellerman
            December 24, 2021 at 1:45 am | #

            Reminds me of when I used to take apart and experiment with bug zappers as a kid, except with less reproductive organs involved 😅

            • begbert2
              begbert2
              December 24, 2021 at 10:53 am | #

              I read this as you saying that Dina’s ‘experimenting’ would involve less reproductive organs than your experiments with bug zappers did, which is a terrifying and painful-sounding notion.

        • Clif
          Clif
          December 24, 2021 at 1:30 am | #

          Accidently.

  8. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    December 24, 2021 at 12:19 am | #

    *plays Axelle Red’s “Mon Cafe” on the PA speakers*

  9. Laura
    Laura
    December 24, 2021 at 12:20 am | #

    I love the way Joe’s eyes water when he is looking distressed.

  10. Proxiehunter
    Proxiehunter
    December 24, 2021 at 12:21 am | #

    I’m not sure more caffeine than a college dorm can provide is a safe amount of caffeine to consume. That’s like wanting more alcohol than you can get at a frat party.

    • The Wellerman
      The Wellerman
      December 24, 2021 at 12:37 am | #

      You know what I wonder?

      How much caffeine do the characters in this strip ACTUALLY use?

      Like, did Joyce and Becky ever drink coffee, or was that also prohibited by their fundie cult?

      • Jeff K!
        Jeff K!
        December 24, 2021 at 1:29 am | #

        They’re Fundamentalists, not LDS. Coffee and black tea are explicitly an LDS (Mormon) no-no.

  11. Audkitten
    Audkitten
    December 24, 2021 at 12:22 am | #

    Joe and Amber brother-sister time. I like it a lot!

  12. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    December 24, 2021 at 12:31 am | #

    Be sure to check the other site for tonight’s update!

    Signed, Mike Warner

  13. Barf Ninjason
    Barf Ninjason
    December 24, 2021 at 12:36 am | #

    Amber! Write some fanfiction…friendfiction?…in which Dorothy spanks Joyce for being too vanilla! And also an obnoxious New Atheist

    • Michael L
      Michael L
      December 24, 2021 at 1:05 am | #

      Writing slash fiction about your real life friends is pretty…not great. Definitely do not share it with them!

      • darkgloomie
        darkgloomie
        December 24, 2021 at 4:05 am | #

        that ship has kinda sailed already with Amber.

        All we can hope for is that WLW is not one of her kinks.

  14. Dina's Smile
    Dina's Smile
    December 24, 2021 at 12:37 am | #

    It’s nice how Joe is going with her.

  15. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    December 24, 2021 at 12:38 am | #

    And thus Amber’s world tour of detonating all of her relationships continues

  16. chuckroast
    chuckroast
    December 24, 2021 at 12:39 am | #

    Amber, please.

  17. Bluewind
    Bluewind
    December 24, 2021 at 12:42 am | #

    Other people: Damn the cold!

    Me and my space heater of a body: FINALLY! IT’S COLD ENOUGH THAT I CAN WEAR ALL THE SNUGGLY THINGS!!!!

    • Steamweed
      Steamweed
      December 24, 2021 at 1:26 am | #

      Me: FINALLY. I can wear the long sleeve shirts again!

      • Bluewind
        Bluewind
        December 24, 2021 at 1:55 am | #

        Yes! Like… I want sweater paws too! They are so nice. Just a big soft oversized top with sleeves past my hands. I want to LIVE in them O_O

        Also? In my opinion, the best clothing merch is almost always cold weather.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 24, 2021 at 6:02 am | #

      ikr

      Ontario weather sucks. I should be losing myself in a bigass hoodie starting with November until February, but hell if that’s happened in, like, a decade.

    • zee
      zee
      December 24, 2021 at 9:08 am | #

      I hate you people and your “seasons”
      I’m sweating at 8 am over here (╥﹏╥)

  18. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    December 24, 2021 at 12:42 am | #

    I was like “what, 20°C is almost summerr” but then I remember some backward countries uses Farenheit

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      December 24, 2021 at 12:53 am | #

      Fahrenheit is good for cooking and whining that it’s “Like a hundred degrees out” and that’s about it.

      • Uly
        Uly
        December 24, 2021 at 6:27 am | #

        Fahrenheit is more precise without decimals.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        December 24, 2021 at 10:57 am | #

        In 100°C you’d whine a whole lot more for a lot less time.

    • PirateTawnee
      PirateTawnee
      December 24, 2021 at 12:53 am | #

      20 C is as near to perfect as makes no difference, 20 F is “i am never leaving this warm comfy bed again or I’ll die.” Then again, I am a Brit with a very narrow range of operating temperatures.

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        December 24, 2021 at 1:04 am | #

        I’m not even a Brit and I think 20°F would frickin KILL me 🥶

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          December 24, 2021 at 1:23 am | #

          It’s -7 degrees, it’s not that bad. Wear a coat, you’ll be fine

          • The Wellerman
            The Wellerman
            December 24, 2021 at 1:27 am | #

            😵 An electric, self-heating coat stuffed with cotton?!?!

            Where do you live?

            • Thag Simmons
              Thag Simmons
              December 24, 2021 at 3:11 am | #

              Southern Canada. Seriously, so long as you can dress for the weather it’s manageable.

              • The Wellerman
                The Wellerman
                December 24, 2021 at 3:23 am | #

                Whatever calculation you just performed, it definitely did NOT account for those used to California ‘s climate 🥶

                • Thag Simmons
                  Thag Simmons
                  December 24, 2021 at 3:46 am | #

                  If you aren’t used to it it is a bit of an adjustment, but it’s easier to manage than extreme heat once you get used to it.

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                December 24, 2021 at 6:03 am | #

                How do you do, fellow Southern Canadian.

                (Southern feels apropos in my book considering my premier is a diet-American Republican)

                • ischemgeek
                  ischemgeek
                  December 24, 2021 at 7:08 am | #

                  Hello fellow Canadians!

                  I’m a huge wimp for cold (literally I break out my early winter gear in October most years) but cold is usually pretty manageable if you’re dressed right. It’s a little more complicated for me in particular because I have an autoimmune condition that makes me lose circulation in my fingers and toes in cold weather (Raynaud’s disease if you’re curious. Don’t Google image search unless you’re okay with seeing gross stuff.), But chemical heat packs in my mittens and boots usually help.

                  That said, partly because I run cold all the time and partly because Raynaud’s I would happily move somewhere that doesn’t get Canadian style winter. Unfortunately my partner is a human space heater and could happily live in the Arctic circle, so a temperate climate is our compromise. 😛

                  If you ever need tips on brands etc to source for cold weather, ask your friendly neighborhood Canadian. Most of us are happy to share because even though it is easier to manage if you know how, it’s also possible to get life changing cold injury in under an hour if it’s cold enough and you’re not dressed well. 🙂

                  For reference, it’s about -25°C where I am this morning with wind chill(so, pretty bitter). That’s bit colder than average but not unseasonably cold. Come early February we’ll be hitting -30 overnight and -15 in the daytime before wind chill. Unless there’s a bad cold snap, in which case we could see -40 with wind chill.

                  And now if you’ll excuse me I need to go add fleece long johns to my outfit before I head in to work because I don’t wanna scrape off the car in -25 in slacks. Brr.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  December 24, 2021 at 11:06 am | #

                  Hey! Same hat – I mean, same shitty Premier!

                • Daniel M Ball
                  Daniel M Ball
                  December 24, 2021 at 4:00 pm | #

                  which kind of republican? because if it’s the god-bothering-security-theater type, you’re screwed, but if it’s the kind that says “Government’s big enough thanks, let’s not add more shit to the pile” you might be alright. It’s all a matter of degree. YOU guys have different parties (Lots of them) to cover all those variations, we’re stuck with a two-party oligarchy made out of the most corrupt narcissists we can find to run for office. Some of them are worse than others, but none of them are actually ‘good’.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  December 24, 2021 at 4:06 pm | #

                  He’s a “guts our healthcare in a pandemic” kind.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          December 24, 2021 at 1:58 am | #

          *laughs in Siberian*

          • Kaiyalai
            Kaiyalai
            December 24, 2021 at 8:22 am | #

            What a lovely husky laugh.

            • King Daniel
              King Daniel
              December 24, 2021 at 8:54 am | #

              I’d describe my own voice as anything but, but point remains. Y’all and your “temperatures above zero are FREEZING” ‘tudes. 😛

              • Kaiyalai
                Kaiyalai
                December 26, 2021 at 10:18 am | #

                The ‘husky’ bit may have been a reference to a breed of dog, one that missed the mark, whoops! ^^;

        • Keulen
          Keulen
          December 24, 2021 at 5:47 am | #

          20 degrees F is coat-wearing weather in winter in my part of the midwestern US. We usually get below zero temperatures for a while during the winter here.

      • Plain Marie
        Plain Marie
        December 24, 2021 at 8:27 am | #

        Soooo, slightly warm or slightly cool? Like the perfect warm-cool day in Spring. Still need a sweater (jumper) and bring a coat just in case. Or for a redhead (ginger), sunny enough to get a burn. Or… lol

    • zee
      zee
      December 24, 2021 at 9:09 am | #

      God i wish I lived somewhere 20° was considered warm

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      December 24, 2021 at 10:26 am | #

      In Wisconsin, 20 F is known as hoodie and shorts weather. But cold weather is something you adapt to.

  19. HeinousActsZX
    HeinousActsZX
    December 24, 2021 at 12:45 am | #

    This is my first time in over a decade I’m checking in on only one Willis comic update. Feels kinda sad.

  20. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    December 24, 2021 at 12:51 am | #

    I remember when we said “Suck it up” in an exaggeratedly derisive tone. “Cope” feels too short. Damn modern lingo, always changin’ and whatnot.

    • Rocket Relm
      Rocket Relm
      December 24, 2021 at 1:02 am | #

      But it dos fit pretty well into a comic panel. Much cleaner than it would be for this to be done by a longer phrase.

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        December 24, 2021 at 1:05 am | #

        Speaking of which, does anyone know what font the comic uses? I can’t seem to find a match anywhere.

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          December 24, 2021 at 1:24 am | #

          I think it’s custom.

        • Dana
          Dana
          December 24, 2021 at 2:09 am | #

          It’s custom, based on Willis’ handwriting.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      December 24, 2021 at 5:50 am | #

      “I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s it seems weird and scary to me. It’ll happen to you!”

      • StClair
        StClair
        December 24, 2021 at 2:44 pm | #

        I have been getting so much use out of this in the last few years.

    • zee
      zee
      December 24, 2021 at 9:10 am | #

      Cope is funnier and punches harder. If it’s really too short for you try “cope. Seethe. Mald.”

      • Jay
        Jay
        December 24, 2021 at 10:38 am | #

        I like cope but nothing beats “suck it up, buttercup” cause it RHYMES

  21. LiterallyJustSomeGuy
    LiterallyJustSomeGuy
    December 24, 2021 at 1:08 am | #

    I love (?) how Joe just accepts that he and Amber are traveling together and continuing this conversation.

    • Steamweed
      Steamweed
      December 24, 2021 at 1:27 am | #

      Joe appreciates Amber’s wingwoman assistance.

  22. Cmasta1992
    Cmasta1992
    December 24, 2021 at 1:30 am | #

    Joyce is frustrating right now but she’s still a top 3 Slipshine draft pick

  23. Alanari
    Alanari
    December 24, 2021 at 1:31 am | #

    How does someone who never experienced an orgasm or had a basic sexual education even write LITERATURE? Is she even aware that there are things beside missionary?

    • The Wellerman
      The Wellerman
      December 24, 2021 at 1:40 am | #

      Never, though? I mean, sometimes they have wet dreams, right?

      • Alanari
        Alanari
        December 24, 2021 at 3:29 am | #

        I’m interpreting this as “never” (or, at least, no memory of it, dreams tend to be forgotten)
        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/need-2/
        Granted, since she’s an atheist now, she is “allowed” to masturbate, so maybe that changed..?

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          December 24, 2021 at 5:41 am | #

          You would be shocked at how many girls have no concept of how their own bodies work or what an orgasm is, especially if they didn’t get scientific sex-ed as opposed to “Don’t do anything ever” sex-ed. Erika Moen even had a page on it but I forgot which comic she ran it under, it was either “Dar!” or Oh Joy Sex Toy but I’m not going to leave a NSFW link on Willis’ coments section, because while I don’t remember which comic it was very explicit.

          • Amós Batista
            Amós Batista
            December 24, 2021 at 8:50 am | #

            That’s true. It’s not only one or two times I hear about even growth women that not experienced such thing as orgasm. Even married women.

    • Jamie
      Jamie
      December 24, 2021 at 2:39 am | #

      I mean. No one said the writing was good.

      Pretty sure quality writing as a college student is illegal or something.

    • RacingTurtle
      RacingTurtle
      December 24, 2021 at 3:01 am | #

      She starts by reading others’ LITERATURE, then she tries to emulate. Probably poorly.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      December 24, 2021 at 3:12 am | #

      badly

  24. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    December 24, 2021 at 1:43 am | #

    Instead a lot of readers, I don’t think Amber situation is that not bad. Yes, I believe she needs some help, but she is dominating all the conversation with Joe. I’m suprised how focused she is here.

  25. KSClaw
    KSClaw
    December 24, 2021 at 2:01 am | #

    just letting you know, Amber, that if you pass out, it will be your own fault.

  26. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    December 24, 2021 at 2:45 am | #

    As long as they’re not going to go get some Folger’s. They don’t have that kind of relationship.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      December 24, 2021 at 10:29 am | #

      For our younger and international commenters, the Folgers incest ad explained. https://www.gq.com/story/folgers-incest-ad-oral-history

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        December 24, 2021 at 10:42 am | #

        Sister’s up
        Her bro is here
        She says he’s
        Her gift this year
        Simply havin’ incestuous Folger’s brew
        Simply havin’ incestuous Folger’s brew

        (Adapted from Willis’s Twitter)

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        December 24, 2021 at 3:30 pm | #

        Seriously though how can they think coffee crystals are better than West African Coffee? 🤨

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          December 24, 2021 at 3:50 pm | #

          Who paid to make the commercial? 😉

          (Alternate joke: because bland suburbanites have no taste.)

  27. Bagge
    Bagge
    December 24, 2021 at 3:29 am | #

    Siblings hanging out!

  28. Arianod
    Arianod
    December 24, 2021 at 3:39 am | #

    Joyce whispers “missionary position” like others whisper “omelette du fromage”.

  29. Zaxares
    Zaxares
    December 24, 2021 at 4:35 am | #

    Amber’s got a point, Joe. Joyce is SERIOUSLY sexually repressed, but she has a healthy libido and at heart she also craves it to be within a tender, romantic relationship. Meanwhile, you have plenty of sexual experience and can show/teach her SO much, but are also realizing with the fact that your blasé attitude towards sexual contact is not fulfilling enough anymore, as well as the fact that some of your former partners may have wound up regretting their choice. Both of you are in optimal positions to teach each other a lot about what you want. 🙂

    • chuckroast
      chuckroast
      December 24, 2021 at 10:00 pm | #

      What they said.

    • anonymsly
      anonymsly
      December 25, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

      Seconded! And I mean, Joe could have as much Joyce time as he wants by just saying ‘I want to try and be a better friend’. Which is TRUE. And see what happens.

  30. thumb
    thumb
    December 24, 2021 at 5:12 am | #

    Aha, Amber’s the corrupting influence on Joe. Suck it, commenters who thought it’d be the other way around.

    To be honest, it’s not that corrupting. It’s just that Joe is trying to change and be what he thinks is a better man. That’s the best any of us can hope for. Help him, please.

  31. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    December 24, 2021 at 6:44 am | #

    Joe can’t stop to wants Joyce, even if he thinks to be very bad for her. Now his stepsister wants to help him in fulfilling that desire, that he thinks is bad… This really is a situation that absolutely can’t go wrong!!! Go Amber! Destroy your stepbro love! Or make it possible. Even if the second option seems VERY far away to be possible.

  32. Anon in Alaska
    Anon in Alaska
    December 24, 2021 at 7:20 am | #

    The Alaskan teen (not me) who wore shorts when it was -5 [-20.6 C] because it felt warm, after it was -40 [-40 C] the day before called; and she wants to remind all of you to acclimate.

  33. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    December 24, 2021 at 9:05 am | #

    C’mon, Joe. You’re a builded-up gorilla chad, with arms thicker than your head.
    Can’t -20ºF be so bad in you, huh?

  34. zee
    zee
    December 24, 2021 at 9:13 am | #

    Okay ambers pretty cool today. The last panel is funny. Less sexual harassment, more just blunt Amber, that’s fun

  35. nightshade
    nightshade
    December 24, 2021 at 9:52 am | #

    oh how i miss village pantry lol,,,,,,cali has AMPM and 7-11 but VP always had a shelf or two of weird crap to peruse

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      December 24, 2021 at 7:02 pm | #

      Up here in New England, 7-Eleven bought up the local convenience store chains after they exhausted themselves buying each other out.

      Since we’re reminiscing about dead stores, RIP to Almacs, Ames, Ann & Hope, Benny’s, Big Value Outlet, Bradlees, Brooks, Building #19, Caldor, Lil’ Peach, Ro-Jack’s, Spag’s, Tedeschi Food Shops, and all the other local chains that got eaten by Walmart, Target, Ollie’s, and 7-Eleven.

      Job Lot, Market Basket, and (inexplicably) Apex will keep fighting the weird retail good fight in your honor.

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        December 24, 2021 at 7:32 pm | #

        Awe… 😥

        Anything you’ll miss about those stores??

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          December 24, 2021 at 10:06 pm | #

          Are you from Rhode Island? I don’t know if I can sufficiently explain how weird some of these stores were to outsiders.

          Ann & Hope basically invented the modern self-service discount department store. (By some accounts, Sam Walton visited one and stole a bunch of their techniques.) They operated a couple dozen stores at their peak, but the one I remember was their original creaky old mill building in Cumberland. It had retail in the basement and first floor, and warehouse / office space above. You’d hear the disconcerting “thunkthunkthUNKTHUNKTHUNKthunk” of pallet jacks rolling around overhead. In the basement the floor varied in height by several inches in many places, with ramps poured to kind of level them out. To get between the levels, there was an escalator for carriages and stairs to walk on. Since it was probably designed in the 30s, all the machinery was exposed. Once the basement level closed, they walled it off like a history museum exhibit. (I found one video of someone exploring it post-closure, but none of it in action. I don’t want to burn one of this post’s two links, but the title on YouTube is “ann and hope carriage”.) The decor was basically unchanged post-1972. They went Chapter 11 in 2001, but reformed and kept a few stores open (in a “home decor outlet” format) until 2020 got them. After 2001 they only operated the first floor, the basement became a Building 19 and then a flea market.
          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oBDi-YGdOBY

          Building #19 was basically a jankier, sketchier, lower budget version of Ollie’s Bargain Outlet. They sold salvage goods from insurance auctions, short-dated food, and surprisingly good area rugs (made by binding wall-to-wall carpet remnants). The Pawtucket store was built into the stables of a former horse track.
          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Odz_-BcKxx0

          Ames and Bradlees were basically like Walmart and Target. Ames overextended themselves buying other department stores (Zayre and Hill’s) and filed Chapter 11 in 2001. Bradlees was once actually owned by Stop and Shop, and didn’t make it to the 21st century.

          Benny’s was basically a combination Dollar General and Ace Hardware. They sold paint, toys, pool supplies, tires, outerwear, non-perishable food, stuff like that. They shut down a couple years ago. Around Christmas they always had a bunch of different lights and decorations, and they doubled the size of their toy section. If I could snap my fingers and bring back any of the stores I listed, it would be Benny’s.

          Apex was once a semi-high-end department store, somewhere between JCPenney and Macy’s. They went *pffbt* sometime in the early 2000s, but are somehow holding on. I think it’s out of pure spite. They’re sitting on prime waterfront real estate that’s right off the highway. I think the city of Pawtucket explored seizing it by eminent domain in 2018 so they could build a new minor league ballpark there, but that didn’t come to fruition. The team moved to Worcester, MA instead.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          December 24, 2021 at 10:30 pm | #

          This one deserves its own post.

          Market Basket is actually bigger now than ever. They’re a thriving, family-owned chain of supermarkets. Said family was embroiled in a feud for 20 years. It’s a long story, but at its climax the beloved president of the company (Arthur T. Demoulas) got ousted by his cousin (Arthur S. Demoulas) in a hostile takeover by the board (which included more family members), and nobody liked that. The warehouses stopped delivering goods to stores, store employees largely went on strike out of loyalty (despite being non-union), and customers boycotted. After several weeks, the two sides negotiated a buyout, the Arthur everyone liked was reinstated, and employees and customers alike swept up and got the business rolling again.

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vB13pIzZauo

  36. Vulcanodon
    Vulcanodon
    December 24, 2021 at 10:04 am | #

    Character development bustin’ out in frame three.

  37. Ellegos
    Ellegos
    December 24, 2021 at 10:45 am | #

    Ah. I see Amber is channeling Mike in more than one sense of the word.

  38. Dalrint
    Dalrint
    December 24, 2021 at 3:59 pm | #

    I’m enjoying how quickly they’ve developed sibling squabling.

  39. Kaiyalai
    Kaiyalai
    December 26, 2021 at 10:20 am | #

    I love every time I’m surprised by a reference to a local fixture that I recall from my Bloomington childhood years.

  40. Arian
    Arian
    December 27, 2021 at 9:39 pm | #

    “Sooner or later it comes down to fate / I might as well be the one”

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