Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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July 11, 2026

Catchphrase

by David M Willis on July 14, 2022 at 12:01 am
  • 05 – This Was Halloween
└ Tags: fuckface, joyce, malaya, sal

Discussion (184) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    July 14, 2022 at 12:05 am | #

    what’s the opposite of bowdlerise

    • Laura
      Laura
      July 14, 2022 at 2:59 am | #

      Smutify.

    • Freezer
      Freezer
      July 14, 2022 at 4:34 am | #

      https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AmericanKirbyIsHardcore

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        July 14, 2022 at 9:45 am | #

        Yeah idk if that second catchphrase is hardcore tho

        Maybe softcore at this point lolololol

    • Daibhid C
      Daibhid C
      July 14, 2022 at 1:14 pm | #

      Scroopify.

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    July 14, 2022 at 12:05 am | #

    “To humiliation and beyond!”

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      July 14, 2022 at 12:11 am | #

      “There’s toilet paper on my boot!”

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 14, 2022 at 12:20 am | #

        What’s the opposite of Disneyfication?

        • annarchy
          annarchy
          July 14, 2022 at 12:55 am | #

          When you take Disney properties and turn them into erotica.

        • Joseph Mound
          Joseph Mound
          July 14, 2022 at 12:59 am | #

          Hyperrealism?

          I’ve also fallen victim to accidentally clicking report when trying to reply. Willis please disregard!

          • davidbreslin101
            davidbreslin101
            July 15, 2022 at 8:01 am | #

            He mentioned the other day that it takes a LOT of flags for a comment to go to moderation. So don’t worry!

        • Laura
          Laura
          July 14, 2022 at 2:27 am | #

          Gritty reboot.

        • Laura
          Laura
          July 14, 2022 at 2:28 am | #

          Responsible urban planning.

          • Plain Marie
            Plain Marie
            July 14, 2022 at 8:31 am | #

            LoL *cries in small sprawling city with no affordable housing*

            • Laura
              Laura
              July 14, 2022 at 11:35 am | #

              So true, Plain Marie! I hope you have a place to live that you can afford. It’s so awful to be without secure housing — yuck.

              In the words of the (mock) Philadelphia Industrial Redevelopment Authority, “Save the Disney Hole!” (http://www.disneyhole.org/thehole.html)

              Or, as Dada sang, “I just ran away from home. Now I’m going to Dizz Knee Land.” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daa9pZDxfIY)

        • Laura
          Laura
          July 14, 2022 at 2:32 am | #

          Brothers Grimming.

        • Freezer
          Freezer
          July 14, 2022 at 4:36 am | #

          https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HotterAndSexier

  3. The Wellerman
    The Wellerman
    July 14, 2022 at 12:06 am | #

    This had me in stitches at that last panel!!!

    🤣🤣🤣

    worth the wait

  4. Cmasta1992
    Cmasta1992
    July 14, 2022 at 12:06 am | #

    This is only a few letters away from erotic fanfiction Joyce.

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      July 14, 2022 at 12:09 am | #

      Yeah, I can’t tell if her catch phrase sounds vaguely erotic just because Joyce doesn’t realize its innuendo or because all the sexuality she suppresses is leaking out via her comics.

      • Devin
        Devin
        July 14, 2022 at 12:37 am | #

        I absolutely think it’s the latter.

      • Mano308gts
        Mano308gts
        July 14, 2022 at 1:30 am | #

        Joyce actively reads erotica, or at least (Amber’s) erotic fanfics… So it would be hard to believe that she’s entirely unaware of the innuendo.

        • Kimi
          Kimi
          July 14, 2022 at 2:03 am | #

          People can be surprisingly dense about innuendo sometimes. Sometimes they read it really literally, while other times they know that it is referencing something else but wouldn’t be able to say what if someone asked them. Considering I had a sister that literally did not know how sex actually worked until a friend sat her down in high school, even though she went through several sex Ed classes, a biology class, and read many fantasy books that had sex scenes in them (though most were written through innuendo or were vaguish on the process). I still don’t know how she managed to accomplish that other than purposeful blind ignorance or really impressive ability to be dense. As the younger sibling, they were worried about me when I came into high school 3 years behind her, as they thought that it was a parental issue and it wasn’t. That being said, there were some swear words or insults that people used in high school that were related to sex that I didn’t know what they actually meant. In my defense, I never actually heard them in a “proper” context, which doesn’t help parsing out what it actually means. It was hilarious watching people play hot potato when I asked for a definition, and people either didn’t know or didn’t want to tell me.

        • Laura
          Laura
          July 14, 2022 at 2:30 am | #

          Gallagher was apparently also unaware of this innuendo until after publishing it:

          https://www.girlswithslingshots.com/comic/gws-chaser-1915

          • Laura
            Laura
            July 14, 2022 at 2:33 am | #

            Sorry: Corsetto.
            Do NOT mix up Danielle Corsetto with Danielle Gallagher. Two very different professions.

            • Laura
              Laura
              July 14, 2022 at 2:51 am | #

              Confusion made worse by the fact that Monica Gallagher and Danielle Corsetto co-authored a comic book about college frosh learning about sexuality and the supernatural together. A few parallels there.

              • milu
                milu
                July 14, 2022 at 8:37 pm | #

                havent yet gotten into the Corsetto/Gallagher comic but i’m currently reading Gallagher’s Assassin Roommate, and it’s a pretty fun ride =)

                • Laura
                  Laura
                  July 14, 2022 at 10:02 pm | #

                  Oh, yeah. Assassin Roommate is badasse. So is Bonnie n Collide (eatyourlipstick.com) and Gallagher’s Cancer Comics. Talk about hardcore!

                  The collaboration comic is “Boo! It’s Sex!” and it’s available online at girlswithslingshots.com. Very informative! And sad, too: could be triggering, as one of the characters is learning the hard way about how to respect boundaries. (Girls With Slingshots could be triggering for similar reasons.)

                  Basically, I just love all my badasse cartoonistas. ;-D

                  Speaking of WebToons series, “Love, Joolz” has a few new comics up now by Jules Rivera (the new “Mark Trail” author), which always makes me happy.

                  Another WebToons series I like (a little sappy, a little cheesy, but lovely art and a cute/sweet take on navigating disability in queer romance) is Always Human: https://www.webtoons.com/en/romance/always-human/list?title_no=557

                  Comics are good. They make me happy.

                • milu
                  milu
                  July 14, 2022 at 10:35 pm | #

                  Wow ty for all the recommendations =)

                  I once tried a couple pages of Always Human but feared it would be too cheesy and pat even for my tastes (lol) but since you recommend it I will make sure to give it another try =)

                  My own comfort-food cheesy webtoon these days is High Class Homos, I loooove the art, its so unapologetically bubbly and fuzzy, its like candy. I’m also a huge fan of Marvin W’s “Humor Me” (but they update sooo slowly T_T) and their short story “Monster under my bed” (found in a collection called Heart Anthology) its so freaking charming, its just pure joy.

                  Also I can not decently speak of comics and leave out False Knees, its The Best Comic Ever (non-serialized category), its just birds and other animals being sassy and existential and tender and I’m in love with it. Gorgeous art, too.

                • Laura
                  Laura
                  July 15, 2022 at 12:12 am | #

                  Wow, well, thank YOU for all those new recs! I’ll have plenty to scope out, now! I’m searching for ’em right now.

                  Only check out “Always Human” if you just like the art. I kind of like it for its colorful watercolor style alone. But the writing really is a little juvenile. Reads kinda like fanfic. But sweet, and I like sweet.

                  Speaking of lovely coloring and Queer/Trans romance, I really loved Goodbye to Halos (goodbyetohalos.com) by Valerie Halla (the genius who colored Octopus Pie). But sadly, the cartoonist kind of drew herself into a cul-de-sac and is taking a hiatus now. Some stories just get too involved…

                  …Anyway, fun talkin’ “shop” with ya! Thanks!

          • StClair
            StClair
            July 14, 2022 at 6:10 pm | #

            first I thought you meant the comedian.
            and THEN I thought you meant Fred “Piro” Gallagher.
            then I finally scrolled down.

            that was quite a ride, I tell ya.

            • Laura
              Laura
              July 14, 2022 at 10:05 pm | #

              Sorry about that! Danielle Gallagher is a champion lacrosse player. Monica Gallagher is a cartoonista. Danielle Corsetto is also a cartoonista and collaborates with Monica Gallagher. I was try’n’a be all suave, using just last names, and dove headfirst into a wordpile. 😉

              • Mano308gts
                Mano308gts
                July 15, 2022 at 12:10 am | #

                You know, that’s one of those weird coincidences that happen in reality, that if you put into a work of fiction, people would complain about how unrealistic it is. XD

      • Taellosse
        Taellosse
        July 16, 2022 at 1:07 pm | #

        I think it’s funny how you seem to believe it can’t be both those things at the same time. Joyce’s psyche is a mess – she has all these unexamined assumptions, blind spots, and deeply ingrained habit patterns that are the product of her extremist and sheltered upbringing; while at the same time she’s exploring a helter-skelter mishmash of popular culture she couldn’t before, trying to develop a coherent worldview and moral framework that works for her as a member of mainstream American society (while still dealing with all the social, emotional, and psychological fallout of rejecting the ones she was raised in) when there are large parts of that culture she knows little or nothing about beyond the distorted caricatures she grew up being told, AND figuring out what she really likes to spend her time doing.

        Having known people a little like this in life – whose current self is a sharp and radical departure from their upbringing – it is entirely possible that she would come up with such lines while consciously believing the phrases to be totally innocent, realize how they sound when it is pointed out, and belatedly admit (when there is sufficient emotional distance) that on some level she totally knew what she was writing but couldn’t admit it to herself yet.

    • Rose by Any Other Name
      Rose by Any Other Name
      July 14, 2022 at 12:10 am | #

      I’m thinking the latter. Lotta bisexuality in that catchphrase.

      • RassilonTDavros
        RassilonTDavros
        July 14, 2022 at 12:01 pm | #

        …heh. Didn’t realize what “counts” was one letter off from until just now.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      July 14, 2022 at 12:13 am | #

      Joyce is going to publish her stories online under one username, then create a second username and pretend to be someone else when she writes horny fanfiction of her own work.

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 14, 2022 at 6:13 pm | #

        Isn’t that basically BARBAROUS?

    • Chaucer59
      Chaucer59
      July 14, 2022 at 12:29 am | #

      Sounds like Lesbians in Space. Oh, wait—it’s “counts.” Misread that. My bad. 😇

    • Felix
      Felix
      July 14, 2022 at 7:41 am | #

      by my count it’s only 1 letter off…

    • davidbreslin101
      davidbreslin101
      July 15, 2022 at 8:02 am | #

      Joyce is officially the She who said That.

  5. ThunderNight
    ThunderNight
    July 14, 2022 at 12:06 am | #

    Is this the equivalent of Joyce being into that big laser gun from the Walkyverse?

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      July 14, 2022 at 5:32 am | #

      That, or else it’s the equivalent of Willis not realizing the innuendo of dream Danny asking Joyce to help bury his large bone.

  6. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    July 14, 2022 at 12:06 am | #

    This is trying way too hard for Malaya.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      July 14, 2022 at 12:09 am | #

      Yeah this is not a winning strategy

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        July 14, 2022 at 12:10 am | #

        “A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.”

    • C.T. Phipps
      C.T. Phipps
      July 14, 2022 at 12:16 am | #

      Malaya’s approval is the only one Sal needs!

      🙂

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        July 14, 2022 at 12:23 am | #

        But this doesn’t get her approval. Malaya first accused Sal of being “too cool” for Halloween, baiting Sal into dressing up and now that she is Malaya immediately said it seems fake. What’s the end goal here? Cause Malaya won’t be impressed regardless.

        • StClair
          StClair
          July 14, 2022 at 12:28 am | #

          IMO, to have Malaya be satisfied and stop accusing her of being fake.
          (Also IMO, this will never happen.)

          • C.T. Phipps
            C.T. Phipps
            July 14, 2022 at 12:29 am | #

            I’m old enough to think Malaya is full Jersey Shore.

            “FAKE! YOU’RE ALL FAKES!”

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      July 14, 2022 at 12:44 pm | #

      Sal would be better off to just tell Malaya to go away rather than to keep trying to appease her like this.

  7. tbf
    tbf
    July 14, 2022 at 12:07 am | #

    Beautiful. I laughed so loud I had to explain it to a housemate.

    • Dinajoyce
      Dinajoyce
      July 14, 2022 at 12:29 am | #

      I made my husband read the last couple strips to properly appreciate this punchline with me.

  8. True Survivor
    True Survivor
    July 14, 2022 at 12:07 am | #

    Alas, poor Master Wilis. His attempts to correct the server clock have once again come to naught.

    • Cholma
      Cholma
      July 14, 2022 at 1:23 am | #

      Silly Willis! Doesn’t he know the server is permanently set to “Ana Chronistic Time”? The new comic appears precisely when she wants it to.

      • Cholma
        Cholma
        July 14, 2022 at 1:24 am | #

        Or rather, when she’s ready to make her post on the comic.

      • Mendel
        Mendel
        July 14, 2022 at 2:42 am | #

        proof that Ana is the server admin

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        July 14, 2022 at 2:43 am | #

        Post your comment
        As fast as you dare
        You’ll find Ana
        Is already there
        Burma-Shave

        • Cholma
          Cholma
          July 14, 2022 at 4:58 am | #

          +1
          Can’t go wrong with a Burma Shave ref! 😀

  9. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    July 14, 2022 at 12:08 am | #

    *plays the theme to the end of the Seventies version of BUCK ROGERS on the hacked Muzak*

    • Tenzhi
      Tenzhi
      July 14, 2022 at 12:21 am | #

      Good choice. After all, they fought space vampires (on a disco station IIRC) and the main action lady in the series was played by Erin GRAY.

    • StClair
      StClair
      July 14, 2022 at 6:14 pm | #

      I thought I was the only one who remembered that.

  10. Caro
    Caro
    July 14, 2022 at 12:08 am | #

    THE RETURN OF SPIFFY!

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      July 14, 2022 at 12:14 am | #

      Sal can never escape the Spiffy.

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        July 14, 2022 at 12:15 am | #

        Holy crap Sal looks SO CUTE with those alien antennae and that hoodie! 😍😍😍

  11. anon
    anon
    July 14, 2022 at 12:09 am | #

    nobody tell her

    this is why mike was killed off

  12. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    July 14, 2022 at 12:09 am | #

    I know “count” is a standard term for a vampire and all but that line is making me picture Captain Gray’s foes as The Count. As in, the one from Sesame Street.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      July 14, 2022 at 12:11 am | #

      “Four words: ah ah ah ah!”

  13. The Wellerman
    The Wellerman
    July 14, 2022 at 12:09 am | #

    Am I supposed to imagine Space Pilot Captain Julia Grey with a British accent or something?

    “Spiffy space-tronauts”….

  14. Yumi
    Yumi
    July 14, 2022 at 12:11 am | #

    When Joyce gets to a place where she’s ready to write erotica of her own characters, she’ll appreciate her past self setting her up so nicely.

    • The Wellerman
      The Wellerman
      July 14, 2022 at 12:12 am | #

      Yeah. Not to mention all that practice drawing ding-dongs won’t be for nothing!!! 😆

    • Drakkin the Alien
      Drakkin the Alien
      July 14, 2022 at 12:36 am | #

      there was a strip where Amber asks Joyce for the chapters of her fanfiction where the characters have sex, and Joyce panics. Ambers surmises that Joyce has deleted those chapters as soon as they were writeen. 🙂 (was that a bonus strip?)

      • thakoru
        thakoru
        July 14, 2022 at 12:45 am | #

        It was a bonus strip, yes.

    • thakoru
      thakoru
      July 14, 2022 at 12:44 am | #

      I’m pretty sure she already is (https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/02-but-the-sun-still-shines/juliagray/). At the very least, she’s not far off. Amber alludes to having proofread some smut by Joyce while talking to Joe post-timeskip (https://www.dumbingofage.com/2021/comic/book-12/02-ill-leave-you-a-phantom/distressingly/).

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        July 14, 2022 at 12:50 am | #

        I take those more as “she’s almost there.”

      • Tan
        Tan
        July 14, 2022 at 5:14 am | #

        The last panel of https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-10/01-birthday-pursuit/kneecapped/ is also relevant.

  15. BBCC
    BBCC
    July 14, 2022 at 12:11 am | #

    Again, spite vs contrarian. It’s the best.

    I note Malaya still hasn’t said what they plan to go as.

  16. FaerwenOfValenwood
    FaerwenOfValenwood
    July 14, 2022 at 12:12 am | #

    YAY FUCKFACE

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 14, 2022 at 12:25 am | #

      Joyce is effectively invisible now. She has a lizard on her head.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        July 14, 2022 at 8:08 am | #

        Calling it now: All the Halloween trauma, including the breakups, comes from the hijinks trying to hide Fuckface from Ruth.

        • Plain Marie
          Plain Marie
          July 14, 2022 at 8:26 am | #

          Oo. What happened to Fuckface at Halloween? Have we even seem since?

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            July 14, 2022 at 10:19 am | #

            We haven’t. There may be more to my theory than I thought.

    • milu
      milu
      July 14, 2022 at 8:11 am | #

      FINALLY
      FUCKFACE IS BACK

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      July 14, 2022 at 10:20 pm | #

      I’m stunned I had to scroll down so far in the comments to find a comment about the most important character in this strip. What’s wrong with you people? On your knees before Lord Fuckface!!

  17. C.T. Phipps
    C.T. Phipps
    July 14, 2022 at 12:13 am | #

    I can’t imagine why her editor thought she was coded queer…

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      July 14, 2022 at 12:14 am | #

      Okay but her editor is Daisy

      • C.T. Phipps
        C.T. Phipps
        July 14, 2022 at 12:28 am | #

        And Daisy is calling it!

        Joyce is bi!

        🙂

  18. Thag Simmons
    Thag Simmons
    July 14, 2022 at 12:13 am | #

    Kinda interesting that Malaya trusts Joyce enough to let her borrow Fuckface and take him to a Halloween party

    • anon
      anon
      July 14, 2022 at 12:25 am | #

      maybe they’re used to her pet just being on others heads/joyce has had him briefly before i think

    • Rabisch
      Rabisch
      July 14, 2022 at 2:42 am | #

      Maybe Malaya is a huge Rapunzel fans and wants Joyce to be the more accurate possible to the character.

      • HeatherJean
        HeatherJean
        July 14, 2022 at 7:57 am | #

        Maybe Malaya has the hots for Joyce. Or just anyone 18 or over who dresses as a Disney princess.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      July 14, 2022 at 10:10 pm | #

      Malaya doesn’t trust Joyce.

      Malaya respects Joyce.

      Which is why Joyce can steal Fuckface. Malaya respects her for doing what she wants without asking for permission.

  19. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    July 14, 2022 at 12:14 am | #

    And trick those counts in a boner of their own making.

  20. Nathan
    Nathan
    July 14, 2022 at 12:15 am | #

    In college me and a friend came up with the idea for the educational children’s cartoon SPACE MARX: DEFENDER OF THE GALAXY! In which Space Marx and his sidekick, Comrade Engels, travel through the Universe in a Red Star Ship helping planets advance to the next mode of production, fighting off attacks from the Moon Nazis that constantly seek to foil them.

    When in danger, they’d put their rings together and shout “WORKERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!”, which would trigger their transformation sequence into Battle Mode. Marx had a giant hammer and Engels had a pair of sickles.

    ANYWAYS, that’s what this has been reminding me of.

    • The Wellerman
      The Wellerman
      July 14, 2022 at 12:17 am | #

      Oh my god….. that sounds like the most wicked thing ever!!!! I love it!!! 🤩 😈

      Would it be OK if I made this into a fan-game one day?

      • Nathan
        Nathan
        July 15, 2022 at 12:25 am | #

        I would be honored! 🙂

    • milu
      milu
      July 14, 2022 at 8:31 am | #

      very cool idea =)

      but… Communism was always about collective (class) struggle. So… i feel like focusing entirely on the two singular individuals that were Marx and Engels is sort of missing their point???

      to which you might reply, “chill, it’s just an intro to marxism for kids”

      to which i would reply, “exactly”. maybe the historical specifics are less crucial than the overarching ideas and how they can model our worldview and subjectivity.

      The western tradition of storytelling is deeply individualist (i guess because of humanism &/or liberalism), emphasizing individual smarts and bravery. whereas communism is all about class solidarity, “from each according to their abilities”. Applying a communist way of thinking to the nuts and bolts of storytelling itself should probably lead to challenging the individual(ist) focus we are so used to relying on for compelling narratives.

      (and i know other cultures and eras had stories with heros and great men too, and maybe to an extent that’s unavoidable. but i am interested in what can be done and challenging the prevalent cultural norm. For a striking example of a communist (anarchist?) approach to storytelling that manages to be riveting despite the lack of an individual protagonist, see the Brazilian dark-scifi-western “Bacurau”. The locus of empathy and connexion is not any one character but an entire village. it’s brilliant.)

      I don’t mean to slam your idea which is cool and fun regardless, it’s just i think about this sort of stuff a lot (despite not being a storyteller myself, nyeh. i’m just a critic, boooh)

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        July 14, 2022 at 4:51 pm | #

        I used to have an actual book of The Best Of Soviet Science Fiction and it was weird and more than 40 years ago that I read it, so don’t ask for details.

  21. Suet
    Suet
    July 14, 2022 at 12:17 am | #

    When I said “downfall in coolness”, I didn’t mean Sal’s gonna go down with Joyce too!

    Still lightyears better than the President’s opening phrase.

  22. C.T. Phipps
    C.T. Phipps
    July 14, 2022 at 12:17 am | #

    Speaking as a guy who writes a space opera series professionally….

    I am jealous of Joyce.

    She is clearly my superior in imagination. 🙂

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 14, 2022 at 12:29 am | #

      Any good titles you want to recommend?

      • C.T. Phipps
        C.T. Phipps
        July 14, 2022 at 2:44 am | #

        I actually did a list of good indie space opera for a website I review on:

        https://beforewegoblog.com/indie-military-science-fiction-and-space-opera-books-part-1/

        • Plain Marie
          Plain Marie
          July 14, 2022 at 8:25 am | #

          *takes notes*

          • C.T. Phipps
            C.T. Phipps
            July 14, 2022 at 1:33 pm | #

            Yeah, my Space Academy Dropouts books are doing well but it doesn’t have the Stargate SG-1 with Buck Rogers feel that Willis/Joyce is going for.

            I’m going to request Julia Gray as a bonus strip next time.

      • GeekyWarrior
        GeekyWarrior
        July 14, 2022 at 6:58 am | #

        Schlock Mercenary is one of my favorites

  23. Lily
    Lily
    July 14, 2022 at 12:27 am | #

    Unintentionally cringe innuendos aside, it’d be pretty cool/a nice gesture for a friend to cosplay an OC haha

  24. Kitschensyngk
    Kitschensyngk
    July 14, 2022 at 12:28 am | #

    Joyce is either a cunning linguist or a master at baiting.

    • StClair
      StClair
      July 14, 2022 at 12:32 am | #

      My money’s on #3, “repressed as all heck.”

  25. Johan
    Johan
    July 14, 2022 at 12:32 am | #

    Yay fuckface!

  26. Taffy
    Taffy
    July 14, 2022 at 12:36 am | #

    SoUnDs FaKeY fuck off idiot

  27. thakoru
    thakoru
    July 14, 2022 at 12:52 am | #

    I choose to interpret Joyce’s face in panel 4 as her fully screwing with Sal. She knows. Also, I’d put money on Julia Gray having never once said that in any of Joyce’s previous stories, but Joyce somehow manages to work it into every single subsequent story.

    • thakoru
      thakoru
      July 14, 2022 at 12:54 am | #

      Also also, I’ve never realized just how unsettling Joyce’s triangle smile can be until just now. It’s like the bottom half of her face is just locked in place, like she’s been hit with a weak dose of Joker gas.

    • C.T. Phipps
      C.T. Phipps
      July 14, 2022 at 1:34 pm | #

      I choose to believe Joyce sees nothing weird or sexual in that sentence.

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 14, 2022 at 6:19 pm | #

        Same.

  28. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    July 14, 2022 at 1:08 am | #

    … someone reminds me why Sal isn’t too cool to care what Malaya thinks about Sal thinking she’s too cool for Halloween?

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      July 14, 2022 at 1:23 am | #

      She cares what people think but she’s guarded because she hasn’t been able to trust anyone for a long, long time? Also being tough doesn’t mean being completely invincible.

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        July 14, 2022 at 1:26 am | #

        True dat. Even gods have human weaknesses.

    • Amelie Wikström
      Amelie Wikström
      July 14, 2022 at 3:24 am | #

      Maybe she just doesn’t want another Malayastic lecture about how everything she does is fakey and performative.

      • Daibhid C
        Daibhid C
        July 14, 2022 at 1:21 pm | #

        Well, she’s getting one anyway. As she would whatever she did. The fact she’s doing something because Malaya criticised her for not doing it is itself evidence she’s fakey and performative. So why engage at all?

        • Amelie Wikström
          Amelie Wikström
          July 14, 2022 at 5:25 pm | #

          If Sal’s thinking that far, she might reason that being deliberately fakey is the only way she can protest against Malaya’s demand that she has to be as earnest and vulnerable as possible at all times.

        • StClair
          StClair
          July 14, 2022 at 5:35 pm | #

          As noted above/elsewhere in these comments, people who are subject to constant abuse often do not respond in what some would consider the optimal manner.

          or:
          It can be hard to make and execute a plan while you’re being punched (down on).

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      July 14, 2022 at 10:15 pm | #

      Sal deeply, DESPERATELY cares what other people think of her. She just doesn’t want to SEEM like she cares. Malaya understands this, that’s how she so masterfully manipulates Sal like this.

  29. Architex
    Architex
    July 14, 2022 at 1:45 am | #

    I’m reminded of Sandy B’s very sincere delivery of the line “Wow, you really licked his ass” as Joyce provides a cool phrase lol

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      July 14, 2022 at 2:32 am | #

      “Let’s burn some dust. Eat my rubber!”

      – Clark Griswold

    • 0kami
      0kami
      July 14, 2022 at 2:50 am | #

      Also of note: “Alright, I’m with you! Let’s go blow this guy!”

    • a/snow/mous/e
      a/snow/mous/e
      July 14, 2022 at 12:41 pm | #

      Had to google in incognito mode for this 😛
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiHbANoIvTI

  30. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    July 14, 2022 at 2:32 am | #

    I got the sensation that Malaya used to watch Rapunzel a lot and still remember all the songs and love the movie. Maybe she will be the one dress as Cassandra… Meanwhile, Sal and Joyce are so funny that even Fuckface is smiling ♡.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      July 14, 2022 at 2:34 am | #

      Malaya would like a movie that’s about rebelling against authority.

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-9-comic/01-flyin-to-the-red/careful/

    • a/snow/mous/e
      a/snow/mous/e
      July 14, 2022 at 12:44 pm | #

      Wait, Tangled came out more than a decade ago…? wtf, time?!

      • milu
        milu
        July 14, 2022 at 1:31 pm | #

        curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal, time!

  31. billfish
    billfish
    July 14, 2022 at 3:31 am | #

    This is the best yet

  32. Andrews
    Andrews
    July 14, 2022 at 3:40 am | #

    Draculae?

    • The Wellerman
      The Wellerman
      July 14, 2022 at 3:51 am | #

      I know what I’m voting for next bonus strip! 😁

    • milu
      milu
      July 14, 2022 at 11:37 am | #

      Nothing I like best than a ridiculously pointless linguistic challenge!!

      So, let’s assume “dracula” is from the historical Vlad Drăculea (Romanian name) a.k.a. Vlad III, a.k.a. “Vlad The Impaler” (Vlad Țepeș in Romanian), (1428~31 – 1476~77), who killed a whole lot of people and died possibly killed by his own soldiers because he was dressed up as a Turk to confuse the enemy (oopsie).

      Wikipedia:
      The name Dracula, which is now primarily known as the name of a vampire, was for centuries known as the sobriquet of Vlad III.[5][6] Diplomatic reports and popular stories referred to him as Dracula, Dracuglia, or Drakula already in the 15th century.[5] He himself signed his two letters as “Dragulya” or “Drakulya” in the late 1470s.[7] His name had its origin in the sobriquet of his father, Vlad Dracul (“Vlad the Dragon” in medieval Romanian), who received it after he became a member of the Order of the Dragon.[8][9] Dracula is the Slavonic genitive form of Dracul, meaning “[the son] of Dracul (or the Dragon)”.[9][10] In modern Romanian, dracul means “the devil”, which contributed to Vlad’s reputation.

      So this is confusing. Romanian is a latin language, but the suffix -a in “Dracula” is a Slavonic genitive (“of the dragon”).

      Anyway, then following the link to Vlad’s dad’s bio, i find the following:
      Vlad’s descendants were known as Drăculești, because they adopted Vlad’s sobriquet as their patronymic (Dracula).

      So i submit the proper plural of “Dracula” is written Drăculești. Being pronounced [drəkuˈleʃtʲ] in the original Romanian, i suggest as its english loanword: “Draculesht” which i like because 1) it’s completely baffling and 2) it’s probably not even correct according to Romanian grammar (if anyone around here knows Romanian, of course, please enlighten us me)

      • Andrews
        Andrews
        July 14, 2022 at 1:14 pm | #

        Nice one Milu 🙂

        • milu
          milu
          July 14, 2022 at 1:31 pm | #

          *bows in nerd*

  33. Sean Smith
    Sean Smith
    July 14, 2022 at 3:55 am | #

    I love how easily Sal can be goaded by her hatred of Malaya.

  34. Reaver
    Reaver
    July 14, 2022 at 4:33 am | #

    Every time Malaya calls someone ” fakey” it makes me wanna sock em in the mouth

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      July 14, 2022 at 6:56 am | #

      It’s like when an NPC in a video game has a canned response to a certain item the player is holding, except if the NPC gave you the item and then scolded you for having it and you couldn’t skip the 9 completely-filled dialogue boxes.

      • Reaver
        Reaver
        July 14, 2022 at 9:22 am | #

        And then instead of ending the convo you accidentally initiate the convo again

        • StClair
          StClair
          July 14, 2022 at 5:29 pm | #

          Worse – it auto-triggers on proximity.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            July 14, 2022 at 10:00 pm | #

            The proximity is also roughly the size of whatever room the NPC happens to be in at the time and overrides the Confirm button no matter what you’ve mapped it to.

  35. Eldritchy
    Eldritchy
    July 14, 2022 at 5:56 am | #

    Okay it’s official this is some kind of fever dream by Joyce

  36. The Sad truth
    The Sad truth
    July 14, 2022 at 7:09 am | #

    B: “Lets Go and LICK some ASS”
    M: “The Expression is: kick some ass.”
    B: “Mine’s Better”

  37. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    July 14, 2022 at 7:31 am | #

    Bit by bit Sal is going Methid. I don’t even remember where she got Julia’s sunglasses.

  38. LuminousLead
    LuminousLead
    July 14, 2022 at 7:47 am | #

    Is Joyce trolling here, or does she just not understand how suggestive that sounds?

    • Cerusee
      Cerusee
      July 14, 2022 at 8:44 am | #

      Joyce is very, very horny, and very, very in denial about being horny.

  39. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 14, 2022 at 9:16 am | #

    Spiffy!

  40. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    July 14, 2022 at 10:30 am | #

    Malaya being nice to Joyce: what’s happening today?

    • epitome of incomprehensibility
      epitome of incomprehensibility
      July 14, 2022 at 11:45 am | #

      Maybe Malaya needs to focus her energies on being condescending to one person at a time, and that person is now Sal?

      • epitome of incomprehensibility
        epitome of incomprehensibility
        July 14, 2022 at 11:47 am | #

        edit: their energies if Malaya’s going by “they” now (I don’t remember whether it was only they or both she/they)

        • milu
          milu
          July 14, 2022 at 1:30 pm | #

          “she/they/whatever”

          • epitome of incomprehensibility
            epitome of incomprehensibility
            July 14, 2022 at 8:46 pm | #

            OK, thanks!

        • LuminousLead
          LuminousLead
          July 14, 2022 at 7:02 pm | #

          I’m not familiar with the distinction. Would someone be able to enlighten me?

          • milu
            milu
            July 14, 2022 at 8:34 pm | #

            some non-binary people will indicate two or more pronouns to use when referring to them. so if a person asks for to be referred to by “she/they” pronouns it means they’re comfortable with either being used.

            Malaya tacks on “whatever” to their list of pronouns out of flippancy and smartassery, but it’s safe to assume they go by either she or they pronouns.

            • Yumi
              Yumi
              July 14, 2022 at 10:27 pm | #

              You know, I hadn’t really assumed the “whatever” was “out of flippancy and smartassery.” More just that they’d really be fine with whatever pronouns someone used, even if they gravitate toward “she/they.”

              • milu
                milu
                July 14, 2022 at 10:50 pm | #

                Yeah, that makes sense.
                Then again, what if they turn out to be fakey?! Then all bets are off =P

                Anyway, given a choice I tend to go with whatever pronoun is likely not the person’s birth pronoun, on the odd chance that will feel, idk, queerer? Emboldening? Maybe the person truly doesn’t care, but I know some NB peeps offer their birth pronoun as an alternative because they’re not (yet) confident enough to insist on their preferred pronoun(s).

                • Yumi
                  Yumi
                  July 14, 2022 at 11:51 pm | #

                  That’s understandable in some cases– I definitely went through “she/they” and “they/she” phases before feeling comfortable asking for only “they/them.” I will also say, though, that I know a number of people who take multiple pronouns, none of which are generally connected to their assigned gender at birth. Like, several of my friends will take “he/they” and were AFAB.

                  I’ve also known people who were bothered by the idea that people thought they were less nonbinary if they used binary pronouns, despite said people otherwise knowing that they’re nonbinary. So, ymmv, pronouns aren’t gender, all of that.

                • milu
                  milu
                  July 15, 2022 at 6:53 am | #

                  All good points and agreed. Ultimately no rule is universal, everyone will have their own relationship to their pronouns and when in doubt it’s always best to ask ^^

    • Caro
      Caro
      July 14, 2022 at 3:20 pm | #

      Isn’t Malaya neutral-to-nice to everyone who isn’t Sal?

      • Kammon
        Kammon
        July 14, 2022 at 8:05 pm | #

        Nah, she’s Neutral-Grumpy-Arse to everyone by default.

  41. bcb
    bcb
    July 14, 2022 at 10:55 am | #

    “Humanity’s savior is revealed!
    It’s Sal!”

  42. epitome of incomprehensibility
    epitome of incomprehensibility
    July 14, 2022 at 11:44 am | #

    It was funny already, but I didn’t notice that “counts” could also sound like something else until I read the alt-text. Well played.

    Sal and Malaya’s expressions are great!

  43. Shadowsnail
    Shadowsnail
    July 14, 2022 at 12:39 pm | #

    So, which Disney princess is the princess of Kingdom Come?

    • milu
      milu
      July 14, 2022 at 1:30 pm | #

      Fingerella

  44. Daibhid C
    Daibhid C
    July 14, 2022 at 1:19 pm | #

    I was going to say Malaya is going to feel really silly once Joyce’s webcomic is published and they see that Julia Gray is a real fictional character, but let’s be honest: they’ll think “Huh. So Sal got Joyce to write a comic strip that justifies her fakey Halloween costume. Typical Sal.”

    • Daibhid C
      Daibhid C
      July 14, 2022 at 1:22 pm | #

      Student newspaper comic, I mean.

  45. Chokfi
    Chokfi
    July 14, 2022 at 1:26 pm | #

    “Lick those counts” is surprisingly vulger for Joyce, at least when her mouth is triangle shaped.

    • C.T. Phipps
      C.T. Phipps
      July 14, 2022 at 1:36 pm | #

      She would then look innocent at you and go, “Why? They’re vampires. So of course they’re counts.”

      • Proxiehunter
        Proxiehunter
        July 14, 2022 at 4:45 pm | #

        They’re called that because they love to count.

        • C.T. Phipps
          C.T. Phipps
          July 14, 2022 at 8:44 pm | #

          Which is an actual vampire mythological trait.

          Especially sesame seeds.

  46. Joy
    Joy
    July 14, 2022 at 2:44 pm | #

    Huh. Peer pressure.

  47. Liliet
    Liliet
    July 14, 2022 at 4:16 pm | #

    I love Sal so much

  48. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    July 14, 2022 at 5:05 pm | #

    Amber has highlighted “We’re gonna lick those counts and blow ’em to kingdom come!”

    Numerous times, it appears.

  49. Diana
    Diana
    July 14, 2022 at 5:51 pm | #

    Is it bad that with this storyline I decided to go back and reread the whole thing again? Because I’m doing it. I’ll catch back up eventually.

  50. Axel
    Axel
    July 14, 2022 at 6:27 pm | #

    I feel like the one thing that would work on (and if not work, at least decrease frustration with) Malaya would be for Sal to kind of grey rock her. Just reply to anything that isn’t actually important (ie the roommate agreement or something) with “okay Malaya,” or “yes Malaya, I don’t dress up because I think I’m too cool for it, and my life revolves around being cool,” in a bored tone, no eyerolls or exaggerated sarcasm

    • Axel
      Axel
      July 14, 2022 at 6:29 pm | #

      * “okay Malaya,” in response to Malaya’s various statements about Sal. I’m not saying agree with whatever plans or anything she proposes

      • Stanistani
        Stanistani
        July 14, 2022 at 8:52 pm | #

        How about, “Eat a grey rock, Malaya” in a disinterested tone.

        • Axel
          Axel
          July 14, 2022 at 8:58 pm | #

          also good

    • Cerusee
      Cerusee
      July 14, 2022 at 9:15 pm | #

      I think that is a constructive thing I’d advise Sal to do, if she was asking for advice, but a completely unhelpful piece of advice for someone else to suggest unasked for.

  51. Mr D
    Mr D
    July 15, 2022 at 12:01 am | #

    No update yet?
    *confsued noises*

    • Darkoneko
      Darkoneko
      July 15, 2022 at 12:03 am | #

      F5 ! F5 ! F5 !

  52. Darkoneko
    Darkoneko
    July 15, 2022 at 12:02 am | #

    she tries so hard to justify herself to malaya of all people

  53. thumb
    thumb
    July 15, 2022 at 11:59 am | #

    this is the first time I’ve wondered what Joyce’s accent is like and how she pronounces “counts”.

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
I think you mean Poop. Prints don't drop from the butt.
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danschkade.bsky.social's user avatar
Dan Schkade @danschkade.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Happy Nonbinary People's Day, you gemstones. A year or two back we introduced FLASH GORDON's first enby, the outlaw lawman Bones Malock. Having known and loved a lot of nonbinary people, I knew the truest way to represent you was as a unsettling desert pirate with a lightning sword
Flash Gordon's Bones Malock:
Bones Malock, under captions reading:
Bones Malock and Flash Gordon.

Flash: Okay... wait thirty seconds, then give me a distraction.

Bones: Got just the thing.

Flash: Do NOT blow the place up.

Bones: You're the boss.
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notablyuncool.bsky.social's user avatar
Hannah Who @notablyuncool.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Happy International Non-Binary People's Day to all those who work, create, parent, protest, love and live without ever fitting into someone else's category.
header image - a yellow purple and black flag flies in the wind
media.tenor.com
a yellow purple and black flag flies in the wind
Alt: Non-binary flag blowing in the wind
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hausofdecline.bsky.social's user avatar
Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
A blond female Philly Phanatic says
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bitshammer.bsky.social's user avatar
Bits @bitshammer.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Mood
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jacobaugust.bsky.social's user avatar
Jacob @jacobaugust.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Nice.
A screenshot of the Dumbing of Age archives, showing the chapter titles of Book 15 and their respective number of strips. Chapter 4,
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daisyfm.net's user avatar
DaisyFM ✒︎ @daisyfm.net ⋅ 3d
Okay, everyone's jumping to conclusions, but Joyce was hit with a mysterious pink gas in Thursday's strip. Now, in recent years, the police are known to increasingly use military grade weapons. Which reminded me of this bit of proposed technology from the 1990s: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_bomb
en.wikipedia.org
Gay bomb - Wikipedia
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
I ain't readin' all that!
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "LIVE JOCELYNE REACTION" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
LIVE JOCELYNE REACTION
that's not the end!  there's more tomorrow, already on patreon!...
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "LIVE JOCELYNE REACTION" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
LIVE JOCELYNE REACTION
that's not the end!  there's more tomorrow, already on patreon!...
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edidin.bsky.social's user avatar
Jay Edidin @edidin.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
hey, kid, what do you want to play with from the cool superhero movie? is it a nude, melting senator who feels like a stretch armstrong doll that has been left out in the son and maybe mildly chewed by a neighborhood dog? WELL, SON, YOU'RE IN LUCK!
the most upsetting toy of all time: a small and horrible statue of melting, nude Senator Kelly from the first x-men film
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brendelbored.bsky.social's user avatar
Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
James Gunn i demand u bring back Conservative Superman
Superman shaking Jared Fogle’s hand
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
(July 10, 2026)
Sal and Danny saw you from across the room and enjoy your vibe.
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