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New game! BOLTED 
Barb O. Saur 
Dumbing of Age Book 13: No One Says “Coolsville”!
Dumbing of Age Book 13: You’ve Finally Masturbated, Haven’t You.
Sarah’s calibrating her sensors
(inb4: at midnight we were in the express lanes where an accident had blocked all lanes and for some reason ONLY DoA wouldn’t load on my phone)
“There’s nobtruth to the rumor that I call my dominant hand Other Other Jacob. “
Dumbing of Age Book 13: No WAY, Daddy-O!
Masturbation turned Joyce into a beatnik!
…There’s probably a Chick Tract warning about exactly that.
She’s finally become a hippie or a drifter, or maybe a hifter or a drippie.
“To find water, follow a drip.”–Hawkeye on M*A*S*H
Hifter made me think Grifter, and I just imagined Joyce grifting people into believing that she did not in fact masturbate.
See, “Grifter” just made me think about Joyce in a red bandana mask and combat boots, holding two pistols.
Time out. Taffy, you are missing out on that amazing Joyce face on panel 3
Surely you are shocked enough by this blunder that you will take the amazing Joyce face on panel 5
No? I definitely saw them. What?
you’ve been wearing the same avatar for days! is i think what the person meant.
I mean that’s basically those nofap gurus isn’t it?
Considering what she did, drippie might be a little on the nose.
Take my imaginary upvote.
. . . That’s your first assumption ?
rather than, like “you finally aren’t suffering atrociously from menstrual cramps anymore ?”
Sarah has known not-suffering-cramps Joyce, this is a distinct and worryingly new flavor of relaxed.
She was already aware of Joyce very conspicuously and enthusiastically “doing laundry” the previous day. It’s not hard to put two and two together.
Well, it’s not like we can hear her tone compared to sarah and being in the room, but i feel like the last strip of saying “oh i have to take these for the rest of my life possibly/until menopause” isn’t exactly positive thinking if not a snarky way of her coping/self deprecating(?) even if she didn’t complain as much after downing the bottle compared to last time
Meh? Not sure how it’s negative. It’s just a neutral fact, when you have a reproductive disorder you DO have to take bc for the rest of your life until menopause, unless there’s some sort of permanent surgical solution (rare) or you get an IUD, which i doubt Joyce ever would.
Sometimes you have to take medication forever for a chronic condition. Oh well, it’s not a big deal. Especially with something as relatively unintrusive on your life as bc pills. Speaking from experience
There’s a permanent solution to Joyce’s problem, a hysterectomy with removal of ovaries. But as that makes her permanently sterile (and causes other hormonal problems) and Joyce is just 18 I think other methods will get tried first and surgery will be a last ditch effort to save Joyce’s life. Right now she’s just miserable a few days to a week a month, but if she gets anemic or suicidal, well we would have to see. Source, one of my ex girlfriends had severe menstrual cramps that were not reduced much by BC in her 20s, and had the procedure.
That actually won’t fix endometriosis, if that’s what she’s dealing with. It helps with cramps (of course), but endometriosis is adhesions outside the uterus.
And I don’t know why you’d remove the ovaries if the goal is to stop cramps and/or bleeding. Can’t cramp and/or bleed with no uterus.
(Well. Can’t cramp as much. There are people born without uteruses who get menstrual cramps because, for one reason or another, they have the right hormone balance to trigger it.)
To be fair to Sarah, it’s very clear that her FIRST assumption was that Joyce was in love! Masturbation was merely her SECOND assumption.
Joyce is especially chill, given her default state is rigid.
I figured it’d play out just like this.
Also, goddamn, Joyce looks cute in that salmon button-down.
This comic consistently has great outfits
Yeah, Willis does great picking outfits out.
Ok so. Everyone is always complimenting Willis about their choice of outfits. Well let me be the first person ever to say, they’re fine but they generally skew bland.
Like, some of these students should be a bit flamboyant and/or eccentric and/or just gorgeously clueless about fashion yet addicted to Vinted. They’re 20, like how are at least some of them not wildly experimenting with leather pants, asymmetrical sequined crop tops, 90’s nostalgia baggy camo sweatshirts, ugly designer sneakers, attempting to rock a trenchcoat and fedora (and failing, of course failing), embarrassingly unflattering flea-market frames without lenses, whatever k-pop and anime are doing these days fashion-wise, i dont follow, trying for princess, trying for manic pixie dream girl, trying for rugged-but-sexy Lara Croftian gear, trying for “i’m into death and 19th-century opium-eating poets, No i’m not cosplaying as Wednesday Addams why does everyone keep thinking that ugh” (is secretely in love with Wednesday Addams), trying for boyish but hating it when people think you’re a boy, trying for boyish and being thrilled when people think you’re a boy, 1920’s-girl’s-school-teacher-butch, pantsuits!? Where are the pantsuits, pantsuits were everywhere a couple years ago, and of course, we all knew one, absolute deranged neon-coloured eyesore. etc etc for ever in 20 open tabs of pinterest infinite scroll.
But anyway. The outfits are fine.
You underestimate the blandness of Indiana. Also these people are college students and don’t have a lot of extra money to spend on clothes, and are also all kind of “normies”. Even then, Carla, Sal, Malaya, and Booster all have somewhat more interesting wardrobes.
Also, there’s the obvious reason that this is a comic and Willis doesn’t want to have to draw a bunch of super complicated or unique outfits 200 times per storyline.
All good points, except for the money argument – you (i guess?) underestimate the lengths to which teenagers will go to look cool, they will pester their parents, learn sewing, borrow clothes from richer friends, shoplift, spend hours in thrift stores, some will even get a summer job!!!
i’m ngl i have been to or lived near colleges and college students in a bunch of places before and the only college i have ever seen where i see tons of kids wearing a bunch of out-there fashion is yale, and i think a contributing factor to why there is more diverse fashion in yale is because it’s just more accessible and also generally the student body of yale is a little wealthier, and i think the surrounding area is much more population-dense than at IU.
i think also aside from saving willis unnecessary labor (could you imagine picking and drawing a new lolita coord every storyline? one BTSSB JSK would kill me instantly, and i love a poofy skirt) a lot of the popular trends of the now would date this comic in a way that willis has expressed not wanting to, especially considering how quickly fashion trends move nowadays thanks to things like tiktok. because of the buffer, by the time a chapter starts running the style a character was wearing would already feel dated, y’know?
My tastes generally skew bland, so…
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This was definitely not my experience with university fashion. The individual items sure, but not so much not so much the aesthetics. It might depend where you are. And pant suits ARE everywhere but are also, mostly, the domain of the business majors, who had to wear “business clothes”.
If it helps I’m pretty sure Sal’s worn leather pants before. It’s just that Sal can pull off anything – like when she put on Joyce’s shirt. XD.
ah, not pant suits then. (quick googly google) jumpsuits! i meant jumpsuits.
Yeah, on the day to day of college fashion in the Midwest, your description is not it, in my experience. There are occasional people who wear clothes that make you go, “That sure is an outfit!” on the regular, but in my experience that’s, like, maybe 1 in 60? So in a large campus, yes, that is ultimately many people, but that doesn’t mean that every group is going to feature many of them.
From your list, what I have experienced more than in this comic is pretty much “glasses without lenses.” There are also far more graphic t-shirts (that often included pop culture things) and sweatpants.
Now, when people were going out, sure, there were some shakeups and fun choices. On the day to day, though, I feel like these characters put slightly more into their outfits than what was average in my experience.
That’s not what college in Indiana in the 2010s was like for me or my sister.
@all: i appreciate your input!
i guess i 1), didn’t go to college for very long 2) did so in france, not the US 3) apparently have always gravitated towards flashy freaks =)
Looks more coral to me? But yeah
Coral may be a touch more accurate, true. Salmon would maybe be a touch more peach-y looking.
Damn right she does.
Sarah Holmes and the Enigma of the Laidback Roomie
“Deducing that her roomie was acting odd based on the way she acted, Sarah Holmes deduced that her roomie had had a goold old wank, which she had long ago deduced needed to happen asap. The roomie said, “Curse you and your matchless deducing skills, Sarah Holmes! My foolproof plan to not be detected has failed because of you”, the end”
Using my own flawless skills of deduction, I must conclude that you, @milu, are secretly Ryan North. https://qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2914
either that or???
The “daddy-o” overplayed her hand.
Oh you’re Coolsville? Well I think Coolsville sucks.
You’ve made a powerful enemy of Scoob and the gang.
Ruh-roh.
I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Coolsville in those days.
Did you tie an onion to your belt? It was the style at the time, after all.
They didn’t have any white onions because of the war. All you could get was those big yellow ones.
Eh, the yellow are better anyway.
The power of the press strikes again!
Excellent Joyce face and posing in panel 3
It took her a hot minute but she did catch up
Oh it was a really hot minute, alright.
Your clothes will shrink less if you run the dryer on low.
Lying, yes. Lying convincingly, hell no.
I mean it depends on what ur technical definition of it, considering a shaking washing machine isn’t rly that strong of a force
tho it’d be hilarious if just yelling at someone ‘you are very convinced’ actually worked
The power of positive thinking.
Like the Orc Rogue with a bloated charisma stat who “sneaks” via intimidation checks.
immediately braining every person who sees you is technically sneaking!
…or is it :questioning-emoji-except-it’s-an-orc:
Sarah, let her have her afterglow!
i imagine the next strip will either be sarah ‘encouraging’ her to do it more, or joyce going back to being a ‘bundle of nerves’ and semi-offended like “stop thinking about me doing/that/’ or so ?
oops my keyboard slipped
https://twitter.com/NGtheWelllerman/status/1627174612126797825
Chug chug chug chug chug chug…
https://imgur.com/a/JnTOmmX
Earlier on twitter Willis was messing around with Joyce’s outfit so I took his drawing and drew my own Joyce outfit on her. I think it fits!
NGL, this is enough to make gay little me melt 🫠
Splendid edit!
That does in fact look like something Joyce would wear. It’s all bright and cheery like she is, and Sarah would probably make a comment about it.
Well done dude.
I like it!
i’m not the hugest fan of yellow personally but it does suit joyce. being a ‘sunshine girl’ lol.
She was positively ravishing in that yellow dress she wore for her date with Joe. It suits her.
I hope she breaks it back out for another date with Joe without the full outfit on underneath.
“Yellow Doug Funnie Joyce” isn’t something I expected to see today.
The only thing I don’t get about the original version of that character model is the tiny vest; I’ve never seen someone wearing something like that. I think one of those slightly poofy outerwear vests would make more sense.
You know. I don’t understand how this is a thing. Is this genuinely a thing, that an orgasm has the power to just…outwardly alter someone’s mood this drastically for up to DAYS afterwards?
Like. I masturbate. It does not have this effect on me. Is this an ace thing, not getting this? I enjoy orgasms plenty, but this just seems silly.
Pretty sure that A) she’s at the very least gone back for seconds and B) it’s more the years of repression finally getting released. We know Joyce. She is HORNY and always has been. She never had a way to deal with it until now.
Nah, I’m 100% with you on this one- Getting off (regardless of context) doesn’t make a person so dramatically more ‘chill’ afterward as has been suggested by media over the years… at least not in my experience- either personal, or observational.
I think it is not just the afterglow that Joyce is feeling, that goes away in a little while.* Joyce is also free to masturbate as she pleases now and that has her feeling good. Also after not touching herself for her whole life, I can imagine it would be something she’s happier than most.
*Depending on the person
Sometimes. Rarely. I think it’s been more like hours than days, though.
I don’t really want to get into the circumstances but if you’ve been really pent up for like, weeks… or longer… Like, Joyce has been actively reading sexy fanfiction and hanging around someone she’s attracted to, apparently, without ever letting off steam, so if it is the same morning, it might be noticable.
I wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that was what made her calm if I were Sarah, but rule of funny I guess?
I guess the disconnect must be that I don’t get ‘pent up’ and have no frame of reference for it outside of media. Interesting!
How many hours has it been since her last trip to the laundry room, anyway? Comic time….
well she was pretty repressed though it’d be a bit insensitive to say to an ace or sex repulsed person stuff like “oh x needs to get laid”, tho that always seemed silly to me, even with sexually active ppl, plenty have seemed like raging assholes who still take their anger out on ppl
I’m reminded of a college friend who was quite Christian (though not quite as… viciously so as Joyce was) and how he was considerably less wound-up for at least a little while after he got married and finally had his own moral permission to bang.
Also, comedic exaggeration.
I’m like that snickers commercial. You’re not yourself when you’re hungry. Except, y’know.
Horngry.
Yes, but Joyce doesn’t know that and is probably the most susceptible person to placebo affect on campus
As a person who’s never masturbated, I believe Joyce may have discovered the fantastic world of gay sex. We may never find out who her partner was, but I suspect Mary.
Peharps it’s the real Joyce, you know?
There’s definitely some “rule of funny” here, and that might be all it is from a writing perspective. But if it were me in that situation, I think it would be less about releasing sexual frustration and more about the process of letting go of the guilt shame and embarrassment of being a sexual person that her faith community saddled her with. She masturbated and God did not send her to the horny jail down below. Now she knows she can read a spicy fan fic and not be left to fidget in her chair in the hopes of getting off accidentally. She is, in a small but very important way, more free than she was yesterday.
Yes, but this is a comic, *not* real life, and as such it frequently runs off of “Rule of Funny.“.
For me, a quick wank won’t do much to my mood, but a really good blissful sexual experience will have me more cheery for at least a day maybe more. Ocassionally a good wank will do that for me. If this is her first time and she really enjoyed it I think this comes across as only slightly exaggerated
Several years ago, when my job was teaching at a community college, I ended a several month sexual drought. The next day, halfway through my first class (Accounting 101), one of my students raised her hand and asked “Did you finally get laid last night?”
I admitted I did. Everyone murmured their agreement that it showed.
I have observed that it does have this affect on some people in my life, and it has lasted for several days on occasion.
The power of cumming compels you!
You will NEVER be able to lie to big sis, Joyce, accept it. XD
inb4 sarah buys joyce her own vibe so she doesn’t need to depend on the washing machine (tho given how she said it ‘doesn’t count if it’s an accident’ , maybe something like a massaging chair?lol)
Vibes are like tarot cards. They work better if somebody else buys them for you.
Yeah, I could totally see a sex shop visit in their future, or maybe just a bullet vibe. Guessing Joyce isn’t exactly looking for insertion at this time.
Sarah sees right through the lie in that speech bubble. (Why else would she be staring it down?)
Joyce starts speaking like a video game!
It’s super ineffective!
That calmness lasted long.
🤌 🤌 Wish it lasted longer.
Doesn’t look like she has banged half the town like a frenzied Tasmanian Devil yet, tho.
Give her a bit, it’s only gonna escalate from here. XD
even with a bit more ‘sexual freedom’, other than joe i don’t think she’d go around hooking up with everyone unless she goes back to her hometown to proposition every churchgoer boy she ever had a crush on or so lol (like didn’t she ‘stalk’ a boy at a certain church/choose between diff morning services, other than her family ‘changing’ churches now and then idk how common it would be to go to a diff church every week/choosing between certain times)
It would be a good way to play off the Ruth quote. On the other hand, Willis kind of explored the same theme back when Ethan cut loose a bit after getting together with Mike. A compromise approach might to the Joyce/Joe hook up happening.
A lot.
Worst attempt at the Jedi mind trick ever!
I love it when Joyce gets that hollow pupil “my soul has left my body” look in her eyes XD
I’m guessing Sarah will be proud of Joyce. Unless somehow Joyce tells her how it happened, then she might have some questions.
On the bright side, this means Joyce is one step closer to owning her first sex toy. Probably a vibrator and she can uhh… “upgrade,” if she ever needs/wants to.
“Just so you know, Other Jacob is off-limits to you. Got it? And if you don’t got it, for non-existent God’s sake, sterilize him after you’ve used him.”
Probably best to do the same with Normal Jacob, as well. Just to be sure. A good scrub-down never hurts after some nice 1v1 time.
I haven’t been reading QC for a bit but damn if Joyce isnt channeling horny flustered Marigold energy in that last panel
In fairness to Joyce she did convincingly lie about not being in love. Not that she’s necessarily in love with Joe but a truthful answer to that question would probably not be “nope, daddy-o coolsville”
Although it might still involve the word daddy, idk
Please make the connection then tell her about non-laundry options
Did Joyce get all her “cool” slang from old beatnik movies, or A Pup Named Scooby-Doo?
I don’t imagine Joyce would have been allowed to watch either of those things growing up. (Well, maybe the beatnik movies that were all “These are beatniks. They are bad and evil and want to destroy America with their non-rhyming poetry.”)
“I’m hip, I’m hep, I’m one swinging chick!”
“Okay, the only one of those than anyone still says is ‘swinging’, and it no longer means what you think it means.”
SARAH CLINTON, ORGASM SLEUTH
SHE’S THE BENOIT BLANC OF CUM
“Cumlumbo” was right there.
Sherlock Comes
Well, that’s a whole lot better than Jessica Felcher.
this is how i learned sarah’s last name
After her next load of laundry, Joyce’s slang will further retrograde.
I hope Sarah knows what a Stutz Bearcat, raccoon coat, and “Oh, You Kid!” are.
She’s the jaunty jackanapes with moxie and pizzazz.
She’s been drinking bootleg hooch and listening to the jazz!!
Bo-do-do-dee-o-do
It’s the Joyce!
*Doo-wacka-doo-wacka-doo
So convinced
Well technically Joyce isn’t lying. She didn’t exactly masturbate. Just say on a vibrating dryer. Didn’t actually do anything TOO herself.
Oh, she did put her hands down there as well. Dorothy had to leave the laundry room for a reason.
It’s up in the air whether she sent Dorothy out because she was taking up the offer to use her fingers more privately, or if she simply didn’t want Dorothy to see her climax as the thigh-rubbing finally got her there. Neither reading is explicitly confirmed in the comic.
if you do it every day nobody cares, if you’ve done it for the first time in the entire 6 months she’s known you she’s gonna notice
Since the topic of masturbation has come up and it’s kinda related:
I keep getting Jehovah’s Witnesses coming to my door in their creepy unmarked black SUVs, knocking on the door despite us telling them we’re not interested. I’m sick of it, so I’m thinking about being completely naked next time they show up, instead of going through the effort of getting dressed like I usually do. I wouldn’t be answering the door or even acknowledging they exist. Our driveway is long as fuck and there’s 0% visibility into the windows from the road during the day, so I wouldn’t be flashing the public or anything. I’ve told them to go away at least ten times and they won’t take the hint. Is passively being naked in my own home while some creep squints through the high-placed window on my front door in any way a form of sexual harassment? I want them to be disgusted by my weird body and leave on their own, without me doing anything other than playing my video game and being coincidentally naked. Absolutely zero effort on my part to make sure they see, to be extremely clear; you have to really try to see anything from outside my apartment, like at least 5 steps of effort to even open the screen door.
I just wanna make sure I’m not gonna get arrested for being naked in my own home, when they’re the ones harassing me. Not remotely asking for legal advice (as if this is the place lmao), just curious before I decide whether they’re worth putting pants on for when I normally sit at home naked and only bother if somebody knocks. Like, is that in any way on me if they spend a full minute trying to see me in my unlit gamer cave?
What the fuck is this question? Based on your description, it sounds like you live in some sort of featureless concrete garage with a porthole on the door, a door which is located at the back of the building or something. Those must be some extraordinarily determined JWs if they’re still coming up to the door and not expecting to get their kidneys stolen. I think as long as you’re not pressing yourself up against your single 8-foot-high window and jelqing in their faces, you’re… probably fine? And I thought my house was weird.
Sounds like an ideal gamer dungeon to me.
It does, and if I were single I’d totally try to find a setup like that.
Can’t you just like… put up a sign on your door that tells them to fuck off instead of whatever the hell this is?
Tried that. They visit even more than before. I know I come off as a very level-headed individual with nerves of steel in these comments (/s), but I’m honestly extremely paranoid for trauma reasons that aren’t necessarily relevant, and these nonstop unexpected* visits from cultists make me freak out when I hear tires on gravel now, so I’m basically at my wit’s end and in need of a desperate solution that won’t get me arrested.
*Okay, kind of unexpected. I know they’re coming by now, just not when, so I can’t say “Oh, it’s the third Sunday of the month, better make myself scarce.”
being naked inside your own house sounds like peak not-a-crime honestly.
i do wonder why they keep coming back though, like why do they bother when you are evidently not recruitable? not that you would know, probably.
Being naked in your own home definitely isn’t a crime.
Answering the door naked is another matter, since you’re deliberately exposing yourself (heyo) to other people. Probably best to hide the bits behind the door, while still being very obviously naked.
https://www.itswalky.com/comic/could-you-come-back/
Drop hints about being “late for the ritual”, for good measure.
Ya know what, “The Ritual” is one of my favorite punchlines. I might have to try that.
I knew a guy back when I was in college who would open the door wearing a hockey mask pushed up and carrying a machete if he wasn’t expecting anyone.
Maybe it’s like with bronies, where the more you don’t wanna join, the more they want you? Maybe they relish the challenge. Maybe they get off on it. I really, sincerely wish I knew, so I could make it stop.
I was really nice to the first lady who came by, aside from giving her a fake name and kinda rushing to get her gone, so that explains the first couple of tries, but sometimes they don’t even get out of the car before they leave, even when the lights are on and I’m visibly looking through the blinds at them.
Join the Herd. It’s 20% Cooler.
I joined the herd in like 2013 and stuck around for a couple years. That’s actually how I got into tabletop RPGs.
quick, someone make a ‘coolsville sucks’ meme
Remember when Sarah said she was never around for the fun stuff, just the messes that come afterwards? That’s was almost word for word what she said after Becky kissed Joyce.
If you want to learn how to talk “hip”, you must learn from the master himself, Lord Buckley!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0x5x8lyON8
if i wasn’t super in love with my icon, i’d be using panel 3 joyce “daddy-o”
i’m still saving it
Personally I like the “coolsville” one.
Well I’m just glad Sarah figured it out right away. Now to see if Joyce will keep on sailing down the Nile.
Whoa, Joyce, I know you grew up thinking masturbation was a slippery slope to all kinds of sexual depravity, but it’s not slippery enough to get you all the way to ‘master hypnotist’ by day 2.
I have never had an orgasm THAT good…
awe….