Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 14, 2026

Place them

by David M Willis on March 9, 2023 at 12:01 am
  • 03 – Joementum
└ Tags: danny, malaya

Discussion (179) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    March 9, 2023 at 12:01 am | #

    “just don’t get me started on FULLER House”

  2. Imogen
    Imogen
    March 9, 2023 at 12:02 am | #

    Malaya may be a terrible roommate, but they don’t kinkshame.

    Also, note that Danny didn’t say it *wasn’t* a kink thing.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      March 9, 2023 at 12:22 am | #

      I like to imagine after she said that he started rethinking his whole relationship.
      “Y’know, she did moan pretty hard when I mentioned the itinerary I wrote for our date.”

      • milu
        milu
        March 9, 2023 at 8:43 am | #

        “and her breath did become a lot faster when i pulled out sandwiches in ziploc bags.”

    • Ophidiophile
      Ophidiophile
      March 9, 2023 at 4:34 am | #

      To be fair, most people don’t know how to respond to Malaya.

      • Decidedly Orthogonal
        Decidedly Orthogonal
        March 9, 2023 at 1:44 pm | #

        The answer, for people who are either judgy wankers or high conflict people, is: you don’t. To that, Danny has Dan’d his way through managing interacting with Malaya brilliantly.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          March 9, 2023 at 1:49 pm | #

          Task Failed Successfully?????

    • Harmony
      Harmony
      March 9, 2023 at 9:52 pm | #

      I mean, he is long-time friends with Joe, neither would surprise me…

  3. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    March 9, 2023 at 12:02 am | #

    Fascinating. Malaya’s whole worldview about Sal is that because she tries to be edgy and interesting, she’s actually very pedestrian.

    Whereas Danny is more Excessively Vanilla than the ending of TMNT 2, so in Malaya’s eyes he MUST be some sort of total freak show.

    Also, how are today’s kids even aware of Full House? I know there was a sequel on Netflix, but I’m positive nobody under the age of 35 ever watched it.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      March 9, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

      I mean, he did fuck a superheroine while suspended in mid-air, so he’s pretty wild. It’s just not the kind of thing he’s going to brag about.

      (Well, too much, he did tell Dorothy.)

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 9, 2023 at 12:08 am | #

        I’d love to get Malaya’s take on that.

        Danny: “Actually, I made love to a vigilante while dangling from a building.”

        Malaya: “*YAWN*, Boring me now.”

        Danny: “Then we snuggled and talked about our feelings.”

        Malaya: “You SICK FREAK, get out of here before I call the cops!”

      • Lena
        Lena
        March 9, 2023 at 7:10 am | #

        My preteen niece and nephew were telling me how good Fuller House is and showed me the beginning of a godawful episode while laughing uproariously.

      • LiterallyJustSomeGuy
        LiterallyJustSomeGuy
        March 9, 2023 at 10:06 am | #

        If memory serves, he also told Joe in front of Sal, which was hilarious and probably contributed to Joe’s identity crisis.

    • UrsulaDavina
      UrsulaDavina
      March 9, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

      I didn’t watch full house and Fuller house sounded like reality show about redesigning cohabitation family homes and I can’t stand either genre.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      March 9, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

      As an under 30, Nick-at-Nite (sic).
      For the under 20s… memes?

      • Cass
        Cass
        March 9, 2023 at 12:13 am | #

        It only stopped airing on Nick less than two years ago, it’ll be a long time before the timeline slides far enough that it can stop being used as an excuse on that one.

    • ghostforge
      ghostforge
      March 9, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

      Full House got a *lot* of reruns on like, ABC family back when that was still a thing, and also generally is just one of the most milquetoast sitcoms ever, so it benefits from Lowest Common Denominator programming tactics

    • Cass
      Cass
      March 9, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

      Malaya might have secretly been a Nickelodeon kid. Full House was on Nick at Night for a long long time.

      • Rabisch
        Rabisch
        March 9, 2023 at 5:23 am | #

        She’s also a huge fan of Hey Arnold, Helga Pataki is her role model and she post fanarts of Helga and Arnold on Instagram that are very appreciated by the Shortaki community and received direct praise by Craig Bartlett.

    • anon
      anon
      March 9, 2023 at 12:29 am | #

      who knows, maybe she’s projecting because she had ‘fakey’ exes before lol

    • not someone else
      not someone else
      March 9, 2023 at 12:32 am | #

      There’s also just enough slideyness that a kid could’ve been really into, or had a sibling really into, the whole Mary Kate & Ashley Cinematic Universe.

      • Clif
        Clif
        March 9, 2023 at 5:20 am | #

        Mary Kate and Ashley Cinematic Universe is a phrase I never thought I’d read.

    • Bluesnake463
      Bluesnake463
      March 9, 2023 at 12:34 am | #

      It had a lot of reruns on early Nick at night before Friends eventually replaced it. So a lot of people in their 20s are aware of and even grew up with Full House. I’m 24 and remember watching it when I was 8.

    • bleepbloop
      bleepbloop
      March 9, 2023 at 12:35 am | #

      Full House aired on Nick @ Nite for years when I was a kid in the 00s so anyone under 35 who stayed up past bedtime would know.

    • Tan
      Tan
      March 9, 2023 at 2:19 am | #

      The same way 80s kids know about Get Smart and Gilligan’s Island and I Dream of Jeannie and a dozen other 60s shows.

      • Plain Marie
        Plain Marie
        March 9, 2023 at 8:05 am | #

        Ah, I think I just found my generation.

    • Carla's #2 Fan
      Carla's #2 Fan
      March 9, 2023 at 7:19 am | #

      I’m 25 and my little sister is 22. We were obsessed with all things Mary-Kate and Ashley when we were little. I got excited for Fuller House cause of nostalgia.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      March 9, 2023 at 7:28 am | #

      Full House? I would respond “Was Malaya even born,, was Willis, when not-olds used Father Knows Best or Leave it to Beaver in a situation like this?”

      (I may have to update my media references. A few days with the DuMont Network should do it.)

    • Caro
      Caro
      March 9, 2023 at 11:25 am | #

      Full House was always the ‘nick is over, it’s time to go to bed’ signal. It’s still airing, I think

    • RoyanRannedos
      RoyanRannedos
      March 9, 2023 at 1:44 pm | #

      You made another funny!

      – Master Splinter

    • zee
      zee
      March 9, 2023 at 1:50 pm | #

      I watched reruns on nick at nite as a kid so they’d be old enough to catch them too
      Also watched the first season of Fuller house mostly bc Stephanie’s actress got weirdly super hot
      Also also when people reference things like this so much you just sorta absorb the knowledge. I’m too young to have ever seen an episode of Brady bunch but i can still make jokes about it

    • shoopdawhoop
      shoopdawhoop
      March 9, 2023 at 4:33 pm | #

      Hot take: TMNT 2 as at most mildly Vanilla, nowhere near the Vanilla levels of an entire feature film starring him

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      March 9, 2023 at 11:56 pm | #

      Well Pop Culture has not yet allowed anyone to forget absolutely anything from the eighties, so even if you never watched these shows you pick stuff up by osmosis

    • LadyIslay
      LadyIslay
      March 11, 2023 at 8:39 pm | #

      I salute your reference to TMNT 2.

  4. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    March 9, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

    I’m gonna be honest, the only thing I think of when I hear a reference to “Full House” is all the running gags Neil Cicierega got out of the theme song on his mashup albums.

    • milu
      milu
      March 9, 2023 at 8:47 am | #

      i love how consistently you bring up Neil Cicierega ^^

      (who i didn’t know btw and looked up after one of your comments, very cool and whacky thanks!)

    • vlademir1
      vlademir1
      March 9, 2023 at 12:04 pm | #

      Jegus, that’s a name I’ve not heard in quite a long time. Didn’t even know he was still active until I just looked. Almost makes me wanna put on When Robots Attack or Geeks in Love

      • Shad Otterdan
        Shad Otterdan
        March 9, 2023 at 12:35 pm | #

        Check out Spirit phone. The whole album is a banger

    • ASTAPHE
      ASTAPHE
      March 9, 2023 at 12:20 pm | #

      The jumpscare Full House theme at the end of WNDRWLL

  5. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    March 9, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

    Full House references? They’re everywhere you look.

    • milu
      milu
      March 9, 2023 at 8:48 am | #

      Houses, to begin with

    • LiterallyJustSomeGuy
      LiterallyJustSomeGuy
      March 9, 2023 at 10:12 am | #

      everywhere you go

  6. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    March 9, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

    It kinda makes me sad to think of what made Malaya think any expression of genuine care is more than likely just faked.

    • Cauchemar
      Cauchemar
      March 9, 2023 at 12:36 am | #

      To me Malaya here comes less of a culture and trajectory of lack of affection and more of a culture of irony and cynicism, like old-school 4chan, Something Awful or whatever. (The two are not mutually exclusive, though.)

  7. BBCC
    BBCC
    March 9, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

    Yeeeeeeeeahhhhhh that’s pretty much the only way this’ll make sense to Malaya.

  8. Regalli
    Regalli
    March 9, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

    This may be the best Malaya strip yet for sheer “I have no idea how you’ve constructed this thought process to reach THIS conclusion, but WOW.”

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      March 9, 2023 at 2:45 am | #

      I legitimately don’t understand why Malaya seems to think that everything anyone else does must have some weird and/or twisted ulterior motive. Maybe it’s because I’m autistic and I tend to take what people say and do at face value, I don’t know.

      • Sporky
        Sporky
        March 9, 2023 at 1:29 pm | #

        It’s probably just projection tbh.

    • milu
      milu
      March 9, 2023 at 8:52 am | #

      Malaya flexing their top-notch non sequitur game 😎

  9. newlland(Henryvolt)
    newlland(Henryvolt)
    March 9, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

    To be honest I always thought of Danny as an extra from “That 70s show” since he always came off as a cartoon version of Eric Forman.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      March 9, 2023 at 12:19 am | #

      Eric was always my favorite character. He had the best comebacks/one-liners.

    • Bridgebrain
      Bridgebrain
      March 9, 2023 at 12:33 am | #

      Tangentally related, if you haven’t watched That 90s Show, it was a delight. They got the vibe just right, so it feels fresh while still hitting the nostalgia buttons. A very sufficient sequel series

      • Sarah Lea
        Sarah Lea
        March 9, 2023 at 1:55 pm | #

        Thank you for bringing this to my attention – I had not even heard of it, but will now look it up.

  10. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    March 9, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

    Danny’s too pure a good boy for Malaya to even understand.

    • Zero
      Zero
      March 9, 2023 at 2:02 am | #

      And to even understand Malaya.

  11. Jahu
    Jahu
    March 9, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

    Everywhere you look, there’s a kink to shame ♪

  12. Sajuuk-Khar
    Sajuuk-Khar
    March 9, 2023 at 12:08 am | #

    It’s nice of Malaya to not kinkshame them.

    Thanks, Malaya.

    Thalaya.

    • Felgraf
      Felgraf
      March 9, 2023 at 2:14 am | #

      Write that down in your copybook, now.

  13. zip
    zip
    March 9, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    the thrilling sequel to financial dedication to staged sexual normcore (https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/02-to-remind-you-of-my-love/scandalous/)

    • Sajuuk-Khar
      Sajuuk-Khar
      March 9, 2023 at 1:45 am | #

      B’Jennifer’s greatest sin was robbing us of this trio and their beautiful delusions.

    • milu
      milu
      March 9, 2023 at 8:53 am | #

      * excellent callback *

    • shoopdawhoop
      shoopdawhoop
      March 9, 2023 at 4:38 pm | #

      God, some of the reactions to this page are weird.
      Strip: builds up to punchline about non-kinky kinks
      Comments: These girls are weird and creepy

  14. AbacusWizard
    AbacusWizard
    March 9, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    Dumbing of Age, Book 13: It’s Some Sick Shit You Two’re Into, Danners, But I Respect It.

    • milu
      milu
      March 9, 2023 at 8:54 am | #

      illustration: malaya raising eyebrow at Danny and Sal being cutesie babies

  15. Derek
    Derek
    March 9, 2023 at 12:10 am | #

    I’m assuming Full House is another sitcom I’ve never heard of, like Scrubs

    • newlland(Henryvolt)
      newlland(Henryvolt)
      March 9, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

      ….What other sitcoms do you know of besides those two well known ones you just mentioned?

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        March 9, 2023 at 2:13 am | #

        Life with Elizabeth, The Danny Thomas Show, The Donna Reed Show, Father Knows Best, My Three Sons… Geeze, it was so long ago I’m having trouble remembering them.

        • Clif
          Clif
          March 9, 2023 at 5:23 am | #

          Leave it to Bevus and Buthead, or something like that.

          • Clif
            Clif
            March 9, 2023 at 5:39 am | #

            Except Buthead was called Eddie Haskel or something for some reason.. There was also I Love Mrs. Ricardo, The Barny Fife show, and A Racist Comedy About Two Men in Blackface.

          • Wizard
            Wizard
            March 9, 2023 at 4:29 pm | #

            Okay, now I really want to see that.

      • Derek
        Derek
        March 9, 2023 at 10:22 am | #

        I generally don’t watch television and I especially abhor laugh tracks, so there’s not a lot of sitcoms I watched. The Simpsons is one of them.
        I’m aware of the existence of Seinfeld and uhhhh…Friends? but never watched them

        • vulcanodon
          vulcanodon
          March 9, 2023 at 1:36 pm | #

          I recently learned that if you watch M*A*S*H on DVD, there’s an option to turn the laugh track off. It improves the show tremendously.

          I wish it were a selectable option on all shows. With system defaults you could set.

          • Daibhid C
            Daibhid C
            March 9, 2023 at 2:07 pm | #

            You can also live in the UK, where M*A*S*H never had a laugh track in the first place! Neither did Scrubs, although I don’t know if that was UK-specific. (Maybe something for Derek to look into?)

            • Wizard
              Wizard
              March 9, 2023 at 4:55 pm | #

              Scrubs didn’t have a laugh track in US broadcasts, except for one episode, “My Life in Four Cameras”, where JD imagined his life as a sitcom.

        • zee
          zee
          March 9, 2023 at 1:53 pm | #

          Not watching them is normal but how have you never heard of them? People reference them all the time
          Like all of Bojack horseman is a running full house reference with horsin around

          • Daibhid C
            Daibhid C
            March 9, 2023 at 2:08 pm | #

            Um, if someone “generally doesn’t watch television”, the chances are they’re probably going to miss all the references to TV shows they don’t watch in other TV shows they don’t watch…

          • Derek
            Derek
            March 9, 2023 at 2:12 pm | #

            I mean people will mention things like “Ross fucking sucks” and I’ll go for years without knowing what they’re talking about. So yeah it’s entirely possible I’ve heard of characters or situations from them, but never knew what it was about.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      March 9, 2023 at 12:18 am | #

      I hope that’s the only time I ever hear full house likened to Scrubs.

    • Steelbright
      Steelbright
      March 9, 2023 at 1:42 am | #

      I think to list them you have to have heard of them at least once by now, right? ;P

      • Derek
        Derek
        March 9, 2023 at 10:23 am | #

        Yup, from this comic :p

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      March 9, 2023 at 1:54 am | #

      It is one of the many sitcoms I don’t know because unlike others here, I am too old to have watched them.

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        March 9, 2023 at 2:14 am | #

        Right? I heard of it, but I never saw it.

      • Daibhid C
        Daibhid C
        March 9, 2023 at 2:05 pm | #

        I have never been too old to watch anything in my entire life, but I think I was too living-in-a-country-where-it-was-never-broadcast for Full House.

    • temperaryobsessor
      temperaryobsessor
      March 9, 2023 at 9:40 am | #

      My understanding is its more or less happy family porn.
      I mean this in the vein of food porn not porn.
      I used to watch it but I don’t remember much.

  16. hazel
    hazel
    March 9, 2023 at 12:11 am | #

    The thing to understand about Malaya is that:
    1) They are insecure
    2) They are confident

    These flip back and forth on each other when met with sincerity and the result is all of their behavior

    And yes, I am a fan

    • Steelbright
      Steelbright
      March 9, 2023 at 1:41 am | #

      Huh, that makes a lot of sense

    • milu
      milu
      March 9, 2023 at 8:55 am | #

      perfect encapsulation. *malaya appreciation fist bump*

  17. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    March 9, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

    Listen we all have different fetishes. Don’t judge me when I play canned audience reactions while me and Sal make love.

  18. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    March 9, 2023 at 12:20 am | #

    I know no one involved here can get deflowered, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen somehow anyway.

    • Dana
      Dana
      March 9, 2023 at 1:24 am | #

      Delicious pun. ::chef’s kiss::

  19. shrub
    shrub
    March 9, 2023 at 12:23 am | #

    What the hell is Malayas major malfunction and what is up with her obsession with fake?

    • huesatlight
      huesatlight
      March 9, 2023 at 12:34 am | #

      I’m not sure how they decide what’s fake or not, or why “fakey” instead of “phony”. But I guess it comes from not being sure how to behave, and watching how other people behaved, and figuring that performing a public persona is fake instead of expressive.

      • sception
        sception
        March 9, 2023 at 8:27 am | #

        I figured it was from being various degrees of asexual/aromantic/agender, but not yet really realizing they were different from anyone else in that way. Malaya doesn’t realy feel those things, so if they expressed them they would be faking, so when *other* people express those kinds of feelings *they* must be faking. Or, if they aren’t faking, then it must be a weird fetish thing specific to them.

    • ischemgeek
      ischemgeek
      March 9, 2023 at 5:47 am | #

      I wonder if Malaya is kind of mirror universe Jennifer.

      Hear me out: Jennifer will be whoever her target group wants her to be to be accepted and liked because she feels that’s the only anyone with like her.

      I wonder if Malaya either used to have Jennifer ‘s level of identity issues or if they were brought by people with that level of concern about appearances? So now they see someone with a distinct image that’s appealing to others in a mainstream way and assume it’s fake.

      I’m guessing they’re fine with Carla because Carla is unapologetically herself. I’m guessing they’d also be fine with Walky because he to a large extent wears being a hot mess on his sleeve. And current Ethan they’d be fine with because he’s too obviously miserable to be faking anything.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        March 9, 2023 at 10:13 am | #

        Honestly I think that gives Malaya too much credit. She’s happy to make fun of genuine stuff that contradicts those images too. I think they’re just a contrarian asshole and if they don’t like you there isn’t much you can do about it. Just, y’know, an entertaining version of that, which is why I adore her.

      • Tan
        Tan
        March 9, 2023 at 6:41 pm | #

        I’m going to call an X To Doubt on Malaya not pegging current Ethan as a performative emo kid

    • shoopdawhoop
      shoopdawhoop
      March 9, 2023 at 4:39 pm | #

      Read a lot of JD Salinger

  20. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    March 9, 2023 at 12:24 am | #

    Danny might be a catch. I don’t know many guys who will do your laundry unprompted just because you seem overwhelmed that day, or who will drop off flowers just as a surprise. Sure DoA has your 6ft plus muscle heads with great asses and a decent sex game, or your caramel crafted, emotionally stunted and yet supportive, snarky man children with just the hint of feminine vulnerability that makes them hot now, or your generic brand quasi-bisexual sexy man that you can’t trust, complete with default smoking addiction and a motorcycle mount, but uh….actually I don’t really know the point I was trying to make anymore.

    • Sajuuk-Khar
      Sajuuk-Khar
      March 9, 2023 at 1:41 am | #

      I mean, Danny has the same bisexual appeal Walky does, he’s just the wholesome porcelain twink nerd to Walky’s snarky caramel brat dweeb.

      Also Danny is out and bi, as opposed to just giving off hella signals! Or he’s out to Joe anyway. That counts, right?

      • Zero
        Zero
        March 9, 2023 at 2:00 am | #

        Joe, Dorothy, Ethan–does it not count until he explicitly tells everyone he meets?

        And, uh, Walky?

        • SillyGoose
          SillyGoose
          March 9, 2023 at 4:16 am | #

          “does it not count until he explicitly tells everyone he meets”
          That’s Becky’s approach, at least.

    • annarchy
      annarchy
      March 9, 2023 at 11:56 am | #

      That’s why Dorothy had to break up with him. She had to make her most magnanimous gift to the world. She knew Danny was a catch and more women must experience him so she gave him up because she knew she couldn’t hord him to herself.

      Danny, Dorothy’s gift to the world…….

  21. MickeeC
    MickeeC
    March 9, 2023 at 12:24 am | #

    This is the nicest I’ve seen Malaya in a while.

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      March 9, 2023 at 12:31 am | #

      I think Danny fits in that same category of people like Lucy, and Joyce, where they are so genuinely nice that Malaya has nothing to feed off of, so interactions with her are rather okay.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        March 9, 2023 at 8:55 am | #

        Lucy? Malaya’s roommate Lucy? That she couldn’t stand to the point she transferred rooms?

        • Sirksome
          Sirksome
          March 9, 2023 at 2:38 pm | #

          Yeah, and it was because Lucy was too nice and cheerful. All of Malaya’s criticism bounced off her like she was rubber and it drove Malaya crazy. She doesn’t know how to handle these types. Much like Sal doesn’t know how to handle her.

          • Schpoonman
            Schpoonman
            March 9, 2023 at 3:31 pm | #

            Assuming there was minimal dialogue beneath the cut, Malaya put a transfer request in literally as soon as she met Lucy. There was no time for her to be shitty and have it bounce off Lucy.

            • Sirksome
              Sirksome
              March 9, 2023 at 6:15 pm | #

              That transfer request didn’t go through right away. That was the joke of that strip. She had to live with Lucy for months.

  22. jeffepp
    jeffepp
    March 9, 2023 at 12:35 am | #

    So, how long before she propositions him for sex, on the off chance Sal DOES like him?

    • Sajuuk-Khar
      Sajuuk-Khar
      March 9, 2023 at 1:48 am | #

      I can’t imagine Malaya doing that with genuine intent, given that their relationship with Marcie is one of the few things they genuinely kind of like maybe.

      On the other hand, Malaya would totally proposition him in front of Sal to get a rise out of her, bonus points if it makes Sal seem fakey.

      • Sajuuk-Khar
        Sajuuk-Khar
        March 9, 2023 at 2:11 am | #

        HOW THAT WOULD GO:

        Malaya: Oh hey, I see you and the BOYFRIEND are hanging out, Sal.

        Sal: *flustered* I-I mean, we ain’t officially—That is—

        Malaya: Oh. Okay. Hey Danners, can I suck your dick?

        Danny: O_O

        Sal: I’LL FUCKIN’ KILL YOU IF YOU TRY, EUGENIO D:<

        Danny: P-please don’t! Either of you!! D:

        • milu
          milu
          March 9, 2023 at 8:59 am | #

          Malaya (genuinely puzzled) oh, you don’t want either of us to suck your dick?

          Danny: i— it’s— i didn’t say— i meant— (becomes blushing puddle)

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            March 9, 2023 at 5:20 pm | #

            Then Sal and Malaya look at each other for a moment, give The Nod, and begin their good works as a fully-functioning and perfectly synchronised team. But only for a couple of hours, then everything goes back to normal.

            • Sajuuk-Khar
              Sajuuk-Khar
              March 9, 2023 at 7:52 pm | #

              Eventually Malaya gets fed up with Sal thinking Sal is better than her, and it gets competitive, and Danny ends up walking funny for the next day or so but he won’t tell Joe why

              • Taffy
                Taffy
                March 9, 2023 at 11:04 pm | #

                This is canon.

  23. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
    DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
    March 9, 2023 at 1:14 am | #

    We were all thinking it. Malaya flat-out said it.

  24. Dana
    Dana
    March 9, 2023 at 1:21 am | #

    Malaya, when someone has sick fantasies out of Full House they usually involve John Stamos, the Olsen twins, or both.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      March 9, 2023 at 5:21 pm | #

      The Olsen twins are like 36 now, which makes the sick fantasies legal now, at least.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        March 9, 2023 at 5:23 pm | #

        Or wait, I really hope you don’t mean “as they were on the show”, because if that’s what you meant then AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[it goes on like this for some time]

  25. Shade
    Shade
    March 9, 2023 at 1:30 am | #

    Malaya will not be party to any wholesome romantic gestures.

    • Sajuuk-Khar
      Sajuuk-Khar
      March 9, 2023 at 1:42 am | #

      “Wholesome romantic gestures are a fakey concept done by fakey people. They’re fake twice.”
      —Malaya, undoubtedly

      • Mark
        Mark
        March 9, 2023 at 6:56 am | #

        So it cancels out.

  26. bagge
    bagge
    March 9, 2023 at 1:48 am | #

    I love what a hard time Malay have to get a grip of Danny

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      March 9, 2023 at 1:49 am | #

      …hot?

      • bagge
        bagge
        March 9, 2023 at 2:36 pm | #

        I think that’s what Malaya tries to figure out

  27. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    March 9, 2023 at 1:52 am | #

    When the Venn diagram of romance concepts has no overlap at all.

    • milu
      milu
      March 9, 2023 at 9:02 am | #

      i mean, calling heteronormative courtship scripts a freakish kink is fairly based tho

  28. Taffy
    Taffy
    March 9, 2023 at 2:05 am | #

    I’m so fucking angry at Danny for doing this.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      March 9, 2023 at 2:19 am | #

      For taking Sal flowers? I don’t understand.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        March 9, 2023 at 2:36 am | #

        He’s hidden a bomb in the flowers, you fools!

        • darkgloomie
          darkgloomie
          March 9, 2023 at 4:23 am | #

          Nonono, the bomb is more of a fourth date thing.

          He just figured out which flowers Sal is allergic to, and deliberatedly engineered a batch in a couple of days at most.

  29. miz
    miz
    March 9, 2023 at 2:35 am | #

    no one is asking the important question here, which is, why are the flowers on the ground? it’s not a big pot, it can’t be very heavy. he’s not carrying anything else. he just put it on the floor to the side of the door SOLELY so they wouldn’t be in frame yesterday and ruin this setup. is…is danny becoming aware of the medium? has his consciousness expanded into the meta of the comic itself?

    • Francoinblanco
      Francoinblanco
      March 9, 2023 at 7:17 am | #

      Maybe as suprise for Sal if she answer the door but still flowers behind back have more sense

    • huesatlight
      huesatlight
      March 9, 2023 at 8:10 am | #

      Sal is uncomfortable being given things directly.

    • temperaryobsessor
      temperaryobsessor
      March 9, 2023 at 9:53 am | #

      My guess is his plan was to leave them outside her door.

  30. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    March 9, 2023 at 2:35 am | #

    What’s the over/under on Malaya keeping the flowers?

    • temperaryobsessor
      temperaryobsessor
      March 9, 2023 at 9:56 am | #

      My guess is only if she denies her choice in boyfriends.
      I might be giving her too much credit.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      March 9, 2023 at 3:32 pm | #

      That would track.

  31. The Aussie Bloke
    The Aussie Bloke
    March 9, 2023 at 2:53 am | #

    Aaaaand Sal walks around the corner

  32. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    March 9, 2023 at 3:21 am | #

    “great, now I feel back for shit talking him” — Malaya, probably

  33. Lone Duck
    Lone Duck
    March 9, 2023 at 4:49 am | #

    Side note, Malaya looks a lot less curvy now than in prior comics. Don’t know if Malaya is going trans or is just binding, but considering her body issues, this is a good sign. Also, this isn’t the first time Malaya has seen Sal with flowers. I bet even Malaya will connect the dots.

    • darkgloomie
      darkgloomie
      March 9, 2023 at 5:43 am | #

      Malaya’s pronouns, by own admission, are she/they/whatever, and she also said to trascend gender and mentioned binding through all november to Joyce (when Joyce was introducing Booster around)

    • Sporky
      Sporky
      March 9, 2023 at 1:33 pm | #

      I mean they have literally 0 boobs in this comic so I’m pretty damn sure they’re binding. It’s a good look for them too

  34. JBento
    JBento
    March 9, 2023 at 6:57 am | #

    Malaya always accuses people of being fakey. But Danny is so genuine that even she can’t do that, so she has to tone it down to an ask. And Danny is so genuine that the mere question confuses him.

    These two are so antithetical that instead of exploding like TNT, they’re noble gasses – they say “hi” to each other when they cross paths, but they don’t actually react.

  35. GeekyWarrior
    GeekyWarrior
    March 9, 2023 at 7:20 am | #

    A sweet gesture, but Danny should tread lightly in having unexpected gifts show up in Sal’s space. Without giving her the right to accept/deny gifts, it can come off as a form of control.

    • King Dragoon
      King Dragoon
      March 9, 2023 at 7:43 am | #

      I’m sorry what? Are surprise gifts off the table now? I 100% doubt Sal would ever think Danny of all people would try to assert control over her. Coming from him she’d probably see it as sweet and corny most likely.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        March 9, 2023 at 8:05 am | #

        It’s a known sore spot for Sal, because any kindness she received until recently came with strings attached. It’s one of the tactics Linda uses to abuse her.

        This came up when he gave her the bicycle, and the first time he got her flowers.

        See this strip and the few that follow it:
        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2021/comic/book-11/05-as-long-as-its-free/ammunition/

        • Sajuuk-Khar
          Sajuuk-Khar
          March 9, 2023 at 8:42 am | #

          Ehhh, I think Sal is gonna give him a pass on this because like, the rest of that arc was partly about her reconciling the old wounds with the fact that Danny really is a good guy and doesn’t want anything from her she’s not willing to give. Plus, he knows she likes the flowers, because she kept them the last time and they made her happy. I think OP is reaching pretty far with this one.

        • GeekyWarrior
          GeekyWarrior
          March 9, 2023 at 12:15 pm | #

          Exactly!

          If someone essentially stated they have issues receiving gifts, then surprise gifts can go very very poorly. I’ll agree that ‘control’ was too harsh of a word.

          Admittingly though, I did forget about this strip. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-13/01-bring-me-to-life-drawing/expectations-2/

          For what it’s worth, Danny is one of my favorite characters in this comic.

    • Josh Spicer
      Josh Spicer
      March 9, 2023 at 7:53 am | #

      Negative take there GW.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      March 9, 2023 at 4:47 pm | #

      No. We’re not re-opening the “Danny’s gifts are manipulative and he’s using them as a form of control” thread again. Sal’s reactions to that effect were exaggerated, a front, not genuine aside from possibly testing him to make sure.

      • milu
        milu
        March 9, 2023 at 8:11 pm | #

        Well spoken! Now behave, commenters, or we shall have no choice but to mock you most bitingly.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          March 9, 2023 at 8:58 pm | #

          Or bite you most mockingly. The Council hasn’t decided yet.

          (Also the last time the Danny/Flowers/Manipulation thing came up, I personally got accused of abusing my girlfriend and using my autism as an excuse, based on literally nothing, so I’m also kinda just being sensitive.)

  36. Juanoku
    Juanoku
    March 9, 2023 at 7:28 am | #

    What… Being nice?

  37. Stephen Nedland
    Stephen Nedland
    March 9, 2023 at 7:59 am | #

    I’m surprised that Malaya is not trying to get Danny in her bed, just to spite Sal…I mean, to show her how fake, and arbitrary, “romance”, is. But mainly out of spite.

  38. WizardPantaloon
    WizardPantaloon
    March 9, 2023 at 8:04 am | #

    Jesus Christ just shut UP you soulless cretin and stop digging so damn hard into your roommates personal business

  39. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    March 9, 2023 at 8:11 am | #

    Oh. Oh no, it all makes sense now.

    85% of Malaya’s personality revolves around bothering and confounding Sal, but just seducing Danny would be far too pedestrian. No, to truly put the screws on Sal, Malaya is just going to honestly like Danny. Maybe proclaim him the one non-“fakey” thing in her life.

    I don’t know who is worse, Malaya or Jennifer.

  40. AGV
    AGV
    March 9, 2023 at 8:15 am | #

    Malaya does not compute romanticism

  41. milu
    milu
    March 9, 2023 at 8:35 am | #

    hee hee. See how funny the comment section is today? that’s Malaya <3
    The nonsense categories she tries to fit people in with a straight face are just pure comedy.

    And it's all pretty low stakes. Malaya just ad-libs a new box to make sense of Danny and moves on, and Danny's like "um ok" and no one gets hurt and we all have a wonderful day doodling smutty fanart of Malaya instead of wor– wait whaaaat who does that

    • Sajuuk-Khar
      Sajuuk-Khar
      March 9, 2023 at 9:27 am | #

      Milu, are you secretly Marcie? 😉

      • milu
        milu
        March 9, 2023 at 9:34 am | #

        oh no, the only way to protect my secret identity now is to also simp for mysel— i mean for Marcie next time she’s on screen

        oh well~

    • Daibhid C
      Daibhid C
      March 9, 2023 at 2:20 pm | #

      You know what? Yes.

      Like, yeah, I’m on record as absolutely hating Malaya. But I’m also on record that, if a character says something to or about another character that simply doesn’t bother them, or anyone else, that’s probably fine, regardless of whether it sounds like something that should bother them, and possibly even regardless of whether it’s meant to bother them. (“Intent isn’t magic” maybe works both ways? I dunno.) Danny doesn’t appear to be bothered, therefore this is probably fine.

  42. Yeet
    Yeet
    March 9, 2023 at 8:46 am | #

    Who hurt you, Malaya
    Like, shit, I’ve had fake people in my life to the point that I react badly to emotions just not everyone else’s emotions or their entire existence at all times forever

  43. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    March 9, 2023 at 10:01 am | #

    I’m more and more sure that Danny and Malaya will become friends for life. Seeing how Malaya usually behaves, this is like being really polite with him. I think the only one they treated better is Marcie.

  44. thakoru
    thakoru
    March 9, 2023 at 11:00 am | #

    Ah yes, the two genders as far as Malaya is concerned: Fakey and For Real.

    • ian livs
      ian livs
      March 9, 2023 at 11:46 am | #

      (Whether they’d like to admit it or not) Malaya would still be nonbinary if those were the binary genders. Love it, lol

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        March 9, 2023 at 2:34 pm | #

        Malaya did have her “Am I fakey?” moment at one point.

    • Straximus
      Straximus
      March 9, 2023 at 11:48 am | #

      This made me chuckle.

  45. Dot
    Dot
    March 9, 2023 at 11:34 am | #

    These two are fun together.

    • poyo
      poyo
      March 9, 2023 at 12:02 pm | #

      BIG agree. i look forward to more encoutners

  46. LiterallyJustSomeGuy
    LiterallyJustSomeGuy
    March 9, 2023 at 12:40 pm | #

    I’m not even entirely able to distinguish the difference between “as Sal’s boyfriend, give her a nice gift hoping it would make her happy” and “as Sal’s boyfriend, roleplay a boyfriend who gives her a nice gift, because she’s into that.”

    • Rotunda
      Rotunda
      March 9, 2023 at 6:27 pm | #

      I think that’s sort of the point. The difference is not in the act, but in the framing, and Malaya chooses the framing that places no value on the context of affection encompassing the act. Malaya just doesn’t understand that shit.

    • Council
      Council
      March 10, 2023 at 6:21 am | #

      I believe her meaning is the former you’ve listed, or a more general, “roleplay a romcom couple” as a kink/fetish kind of thing. With the flower gifting being a more blatant display of it.

  47. Sporky
    Sporky
    March 9, 2023 at 1:28 pm | #

    “I mean, my last name isn’t Tanner as far as I’m aware…”

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      March 9, 2023 at 3:33 pm | #

      Does Danny have a canon middle name?

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        March 9, 2023 at 4:48 pm | #

        Douglas

  48. shoopdawhoop
    shoopdawhoop
    March 9, 2023 at 4:30 pm | #

    “Have you held hands with each other? Don’t tell me, do what you want but I don’t need to hear all the gross details.”

  49. Adam Black
    Adam Black
    March 10, 2023 at 11:39 am | #

    I’m confused , which is the fakey, Full House or the kink?

    ( what’s odd about Malayas framing is it DOEs sort of align with how Sal reacted the last time he gave her flowers )

  50. Ragingagnostic
    Ragingagnostic
    March 10, 2023 at 2:20 pm | #

    The fact that she thinks his behavior is odd says a lot more about her sexual habits than his.

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
"Remember when we could only use cash in the vending machines?" "Yeah, how primitive, ha ha! ... and imagine being older than every candy bar brand in this thing! I mean, I'm young, like you."
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
sophianyx.bsky.social's user avatarSophia_Nyx 🏳️‍⚧️ @sophianyx.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Without saying Terminator 2, fav Arnold Schwarzenegger Film?
older white guy in a grey suit rests a hand on his chin wearing a big gold watch short brown hair. hot.
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