Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 22, 2026

Sparkly

by David M Willis on September 7, 2023 at 12:01 am
  • 01 – Everybody's Looking for Nothing
└ Tags: joe, joyce, sarah

Discussion (162) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    September 7, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

    surprisingly nonviolent for Sarah

    (then it turns out the vampire pile is the Jesus pile)

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      September 7, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

      Hey, he comes back from the dead, feeds people his blood, and can only be killed with a piece of wood, how granular we gonna make this classification system?

      • Viktoria
        Viktoria
        September 7, 2023 at 12:28 am | #

        Both of them object to crosses.

        • Wraithy2773
          Wraithy2773
          September 7, 2023 at 12:58 am | #

          It’s why he gets warded off by them, it’s Jesus going “Oh, me, not all that crap again, why does everyone have to remind me of the Romans…”

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 7, 2023 at 1:45 am | #

        One gets invoked to make holy water, and the other is vulnerable to it?

      • Booster97
        Booster97
        September 7, 2023 at 2:08 am | #

        Well, if there is one thing we learned about vampires in the recent years, it’s that it’s a spectrum.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          September 7, 2023 at 2:29 am | #

          It has to be a spectrum, if it encompasses Dracula, Angel, and Count von Count.

          • Bicycle Bill
            Bicycle Bill
            September 7, 2023 at 2:51 am | #

            And the Reformed Vampyres of Discworld.

          • Proxiehunter
            Proxiehunter
            September 7, 2023 at 3:31 am | #

            And Edward Cullen.

          • HueSatLight
            HueSatLight
            September 7, 2023 at 12:14 pm | #

            Bunnicula to The Strain to Ethan Hawk to Colin Robbinson.

          • Daniel M Ball
            Daniel M Ball
            September 7, 2023 at 3:36 pm | #

            How insensitive! You left out Count CHOCULA!!! what do you have against Count Chocula, is he just not good enough for you??

        • DaveM
          DaveM
          September 7, 2023 at 4:48 am | #

          And Count Duckula, can’t forget him.

          • Laura
            Laura
            September 7, 2023 at 12:30 pm | #

            Plus Count Chocula!

            • Daniel M Ball
              Daniel M Ball
              September 7, 2023 at 3:37 pm | #

              Laura, you are a being of taste and memory.

        • Librain
          Librain
          September 7, 2023 at 7:31 am | #

          I mean, Vampire lore has been incredibly varied over the years. The original Dracula had a number of traits that most people nowadays would not recognise as being stereotypically vampiric, and Anne Rice’s vampires of 50 years ago are barely even the same species as the vampires from Buffy, less than 20 years later.

          Yes, Buffy is over 30 years old now. And the vampires in both movie and series share more in common with Twilight than Dracula.

          • SDRainbow
            SDRainbow
            September 7, 2023 at 7:42 am | #

            There’s a fantasy quartet that starts with LIBRIOMANCER, by Jim Hines, where magic comes out of books to infect the real world. One of the interesting subplots is the various subspecies of vampire, like Sanguinarius Meyerii, aka sparklers – from Twilight.

          • Schpoonman
            Schpoonman
            September 7, 2023 at 11:19 am | #

            Buffy premiered in 1997. Closer to 30 than 20, certainly.

            • Tan
              Tan
              September 7, 2023 at 3:36 pm | #

              I believe Librain was including the 1992 film to which the series is technically a sequel

          • Tan
            Tan
            September 7, 2023 at 3:33 pm | #

            I feel there are five basic axes to cover the various types of vampires

            Blooddrinking: (from ‘tomato juice works’ to ‘can drink animal blood but is weaker for it’ to ‘must drink human blood directly from source’)
            Unholy: (from ‘is disavowed by most organized religions’ to ‘holy objects that the wielder believes in will repel’ to ‘burned and can be killed by crosses or holy water’)
            Weakness to sunlight: (from ‘sparkles’ to ‘carries a parasol outside during daytime’ to ‘any exposure to sunlight near-instantly turns to ash’)
            Mind control: (from ‘lull into a relaxed state’ to ‘paralyze while maintaining eye contact’ to ‘turn into a mindless thrall’)
            Bats: (from ‘wears a cape’ to ‘can control bats and possibly fly’ to ‘turns into bat or swarm of bats’)

            And then there’s kind of a miscellaneous checklist. Invisible in mirrors? Can’t cross running water? Weak to silver? Need to be invited in? Enmity with werewolves? And so forth

    • Alongcameaspider
      Alongcameaspider
      September 7, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

      Sarah isn’t yet aware of their relationship status, violence will come once that’s made clear to her

    • Chaucer59
      Chaucer59
      September 7, 2023 at 1:30 am | #

      Don’t be ridiculous. Jesus belongs in the zombie pile.

      • Maddie B
        Maddie B
        September 7, 2023 at 4:47 am | #

        Only if zombies are lumped together with liches, as they already are with ghouls.

        • Caspar Mulders
          Caspar Mulders
          September 7, 2023 at 6:25 am | #

          How about a compromise and we just go for the more general “revenant”? Let’s see anyone dispute *that* on a scriptural basis…

          • Rognik
            Rognik
            September 7, 2023 at 9:59 am | #

            I mean, you literally have Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, so there’s precident for revenants.

            • Laura
              Laura
              September 7, 2023 at 12:31 pm | #

              Yeah, man. That was stinky and gross…

              • milu
                milu
                September 7, 2023 at 1:21 pm | #

                yeah c’mon JC. don’t raise the dead. we all know they come back wrong

            • HueSatLight
              HueSatLight
              September 7, 2023 at 7:00 pm | #

              undead invasion in Matthew’s version of the crucifixion story too.

        • Joshua Kronengold
          Joshua Kronengold
          September 7, 2023 at 2:30 pm | #

          Nah, no Jewish liches, please; we have enough of that conflation from the actual D&D!

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    September 7, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

    I see Sarah subscribes to a “Scoot first, ask questions later” philosophy.

    …I’ll see myself out.

  3. Nono
    Nono
    September 7, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

    Joe’s decently beefy, right?

    Sarah is STRONG.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      September 7, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

      Definitely well over 6 feet in height. I’d say 210-220 lbs easy.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      September 7, 2023 at 12:08 am | #

      For whatever reason, Sarah has taken on the role of Mama Bear to Joyce (and that was even BEFORE Joyce’s real mother revealed herself to be the arschloch that she was)…  and no matter how strong you may be, you don’t mess around with Mama Bear’s cub.

    • Matthew Davis
      Matthew Davis
      September 7, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

      I see the “scoot scoot scoot” as Joe helping her, because it seems less confrontational to have Joyce explain than to stand his ground.

      • Just an Armadillo
        Just an Armadillo
        September 7, 2023 at 1:32 am | #

        I’d believe that, honestly. Joe is smart enough to not want to be in the room when the boyfriend conversation inevitable happens. Or just be around Sarah in general after all the times he’s been a pain in the ass for kicks.

        • Da Boy
          Da Boy
          September 7, 2023 at 5:19 am | #

          Being in the hall gives him headstart if he hears Sarah scream his name in anger.

    • DashWallkick
      DashWallkick
      September 7, 2023 at 4:23 am | #

      I was gonna say, shoutouts to Sarah for having enough muscle to drag him out, that’s impressive, Joe’s gotta be like 190+

    • Bogeywoman
      Bogeywoman
      September 7, 2023 at 4:26 am | #

      If he was not *scoot scoot*ING I imagine there would be a sizable “URRRRAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHH” from sarah

    • Daniel M Ball
      Daniel M Ball
      September 7, 2023 at 3:42 pm | #

      Nah, it’s that despite his efforts earlier to be a Cad, Joe’s a Gentleman. It might actually be a solid natural defect in his character (cads, aka people without ethics, tend to end up with wealth and power, or power that provides wealth, while Gentlemen usually end up stuck keeping the damned world from collapsing.) He cooperated with Sarah’s efforts because it’s HER room too, and not his.

  4. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    September 7, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

    Sarah’s pretty strong. Maybe top three in physical strength on the DoA power rankings.

    • Nono
      Nono
      September 7, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

      Carla’s probably up there for her ability to carry Jennifer by her shirt.

      And then… Ruth? Jacob?

      Like in terms of who would win in a fight I’d probably say top three would be Sal/Asher/Amber, though.

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        September 7, 2023 at 12:13 am | #

        Sarah’s done something similar with Jen. It is important to note physical strength isn’t the same as fighting ability. Joe’s easily stronger than Amber but Amber would likely beat him in a fight.

        Feats are important though and this counts. We’ll need to see if Carla can move a Joe or similar. Sarah might beat her as of now.

        • HueSatLight
          HueSatLight
          September 7, 2023 at 12:18 am | #

          is it a feat, or is it a rule of funny?

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            September 7, 2023 at 3:20 am | #

            How many tons of TNT are needed to move a 6′?” buff guy the length of his own body? How many lightspeeds are in each scoot?

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 7, 2023 at 1:47 am | #

        I dunno, I’d say that Ruth has demonstrated more combat ability than Asher.

        • The Oracle
          The Oracle
          September 7, 2023 at 3:43 am | #

          So far, the only “combat” we’ve seen Asher in was when Walky decked him and he decided not to retaliate. Definitely not enough to judge his capabilities in an actual fight.

          • Decidedly Orthogonal
            Decidedly Orthogonal
            September 7, 2023 at 9:27 am | #

            No, but don’t discount that we’ve seen he can take a punch (even if said punch was potentially from a glass fist.)

      • Amós Batista
        Amós Batista
        September 7, 2023 at 4:45 am | #

        I only remember Jacob being big, not using strength.
        Somebody has said not necessary big muscle means more strength.

        • kraenieldamage
          kraenieldamage
          September 7, 2023 at 6:59 am | #

          He carried Joyce that one time, but we do not know how impressive a feat that is.

      • Miri
        Miri
        September 7, 2023 at 5:24 am | #

        Dina can climb a Joe, and also take down Amber (although in fairness after Amber sets herself up for it and with her not fighting back), plus has the guts to face down her girlfriend’s furious, gun-toting dad and bite him (during the first abduction). She can rip through multiple layers of denim with her teeth (converting Amber’s dungarees to jeans). There’s her invisibility power, door teleportation ability…

        She pretty much only fights to defend dinosaurs and loved ones, so probably wouldn’t take part in a fighting competition to satisfy our curiosity – but I’m not sure we can entirely rule her out as a contender!

    • John Campbell
      John Campbell
      September 7, 2023 at 2:11 am | #

      I dunno, are we counting minor characters like Galasso and Jacob?

      • wwwhhattt
        wwwhhattt
        September 7, 2023 at 5:17 am | #

        Galasso does not fight. He has minions for that

        • NickG
          NickG
          September 7, 2023 at 5:56 am | #

          He may have ninjas at his disposal.

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        September 7, 2023 at 8:49 am | #

        This is a good point but the problen with trying to scale someone like Galasso is that he doesn’t have enough appearances to analyze his feats. Comic always trumps speculation. All we really know for him is that he’s tall and fears Becky’s god. That tells me Becky would likely win the matchup through wits. I haven’t read Shortpacked it Galasso has done impressive stuff there or actually has access to ninjas let me know.

        Jacob is similar, we just haven’t seen much from him. We do know he works out. We’ve seen it. That does a lot to put him over others for physical strength at least. Combat ability, stealth, magic or super powers, intelligence, skills still leave a lot to be desired.

  5. Nono
    Nono
    September 7, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

    Also take your bets on who’s disapproving more of Joe/Joyce, Sarah or Dorothy (initially)

    • Bruno
      Bruno
      September 7, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

      Sarah not only hates Joe, but she’s opposed to all forms of human joy.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 7, 2023 at 1:47 am | #

        Not so! She delights in schadenfreude!

    • Mturtle7
      Mturtle7
      September 7, 2023 at 11:42 am | #

      My bet: Sarah will be louder about it, but Dorothy will quietly disapprove more.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      September 7, 2023 at 2:38 pm | #

      I think Sarah disapproves of Joe more than Dorothy does. Dorothy’s disapproval has a jealously component. Joe has a knack and reflex to piss Sarah off.
      I think she’ll disapprove of them dating, but really despise the most that there will be more Joe in her life.

  6. Leorale
    Leorale
    September 7, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    re alt text: “There’s nothing wrong with pregnant Sonic!!”
    …somebody please find that cursèd music video

  7. UrsulaDavina
    UrsulaDavina
    September 7, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    Very restrained of Sarah, for now, until she finds out Joyce and Joe are dating.

    Also what is her workout routine beacuse I imagine Joe is 200+ lbs mostly muscle and Sarah dragged him like an empty cardboard box.

    • Devin
      Devin
      September 7, 2023 at 2:00 am | #

      Her workout routine is primarily rage, supplemented with a healthy amount of spite.

      • Mark
        Mark
        September 7, 2023 at 6:55 am | #

        And that bat.

  8. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    September 7, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    Now I’m just picturing that series of pictures of the Shortpacked! crew doing the kneeling which was a reference to something that Willis explained, but I can’t really remember.
    Just that even in non-canon drawings, Leslie would rather rip her own arms off than participate.

    • sultryglebe
      sultryglebe
      September 7, 2023 at 12:10 am | #

      Maybe the fake Calvin drawings?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      September 7, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

      It tended to be Sonic the Hedgehog characters because 1) Sonic attracts some particularly odd fanart subtypes, and 2) Sonic is very cool to kids, and largely acceptable to the kind of Christian parents who would restrict kids’ media options evidently, but then the kids need to make him Explicitly Christian for their particularly sheltered worldview and so, Sonic kneeling at the cross fanart.

      However, it was by no means EXCLUSIVE to Sonic, as I remember.

      • Amós Batista
        Amós Batista
        September 7, 2023 at 8:48 am | #

        I wonder why Sonic is so on verge on cringe. After reading your comment, maybe Sonic is so on verge of everthing.

    • Jed!
      Jed!
      September 7, 2023 at 12:37 am | #

      Christian (I assume Evangelical) teens drawing fictional characters worshipping Jesus is a real phenomenon, mostly on Deviantart. I think it was a reference to that general thing, but also specifically the Sonic stuff because Sonic fanart is its own weird thing.

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        September 7, 2023 at 1:39 am | #

        It’s its own weird MANY things.

      • Amós Batista
        Amós Batista
        September 7, 2023 at 6:46 pm | #

        It’s rule 34, but all reversed.

  9. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    September 7, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    I do sometimes forget Joyce was into Twilight.

  10. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    September 7, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    Hehehe sonic 😆

    BTW thanks to everyone who shared healing music yesterday, much appreciated all of it 🥹

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      September 7, 2023 at 12:15 am | #

      The sad thing is that if anyone in this comic is a Sonic fan, it’s almost certainly Mary.

    • Mr D
      Mr D
      September 7, 2023 at 3:38 am | #

      Hey NGPZ, you may be interested into looking for a fan-manga called “Pokémon Festival of champions”, comes out twice a year and it is like crack. It got hooks in my soul.

  11. Regalli
    Regalli
    September 7, 2023 at 12:10 am | #

    Oh god. Oh god, of course Joyce made her own reference to the phenomenon of fanart showing kids characters who aren’t explicitly Christian but who were deemed child-appropriate by Christian parents enough for their preteen kids to draw them Kneeling Prostrate Before The Lord.

    This is possibly my new favorite strip ever.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      September 7, 2023 at 2:13 am | #

      But did any of the characters chop their own arms off with a chainsaw?

  12. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    September 7, 2023 at 12:10 am | #

    Man what a drag.

    • LiterallyJustSomeGuy
      LiterallyJustSomeGuy
      September 7, 2023 at 12:16 am | #

      heeheeheeheehee

    • Spriteless Aunty
      Spriteless Aunty
      September 7, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

      Ah see what ye did thar

    • Francoinblanco
      Francoinblanco
      September 7, 2023 at 1:03 am | #

      This is good stuff

  13. The Jighole Man
    The Jighole Man
    September 7, 2023 at 12:11 am | #

    oh boy, time for her to complain about joe, then assume joyce was talking to Raidah when she tells her to F off.

  14. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    September 7, 2023 at 12:13 am | #

    I wonder if there’s a Twilight equivalent to that subgenre of HP fics where Harry repents his sins of Witchcraft and Wizardry and turns to Jesus. Can Fundie!Jesus cure vampirism and/or lycanthropy?

    • UrsulaDavina
      UrsulaDavina
      September 7, 2023 at 1:03 am | #

      I mean it probably exists but I wouldn’t be able to point you in any direction. Harry Potter and Christian fundamentalism are not my thing and my Vampire fandom is limited to What We Do in The Shadows (film/show) Castlevania and Bram Stokers Dracula.

    • zee
      zee
      September 7, 2023 at 11:19 am | #

      I didn’t realize there were multiple of those. The most famous or the only one I know is parody

  15. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    September 7, 2023 at 12:16 am | #

    all the vampires walkin’ through the valley
    Move west down Ventura Boulevard
    …

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      September 7, 2023 at 8:43 pm | #

      There is an XKCD of that song, let me look it up. here it is: https://xkcd.com/2811/

  16. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    September 7, 2023 at 12:21 am | #

    look what I had laying around, from some time after I read those shortpacked strips.
    https://www.tumblr.com/huesatlight/727775266996404224/cursed?source=share
    this image is for flag code enthusiasts only. If you hate the flag, you’ve been forewarned.

    • CitrineMonster
      CitrineMonster
      September 7, 2023 at 1:06 am | #

      Absolutely fuck all could have prepared me for this

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      September 7, 2023 at 2:11 am | #

      Is that… flagse?

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        September 7, 2023 at 10:46 am | #

        that part is real, I just added sonic and replaced the stars with smaller defaced flags.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          September 7, 2023 at 11:07 am | #

          Oh, you added the punisher skulls. No wonder I couldn’t find that version. Wouldn’t be surprised to see someone selling it. There are enough versions with Punisher symbols, mixing that and the Christian symbolism seems inevitable.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            September 7, 2023 at 11:15 am | #

            Also, Punisher skulls instead of stars is pretty metal, and I’m pissed that the most boring, violent people on Earth have appropriated it.

    • Amós Batista
      Amós Batista
      September 7, 2023 at 4:51 am | #

      Trigger warning

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        September 7, 2023 at 5:13 am | #

        I forewarned you!

    • Miri
      Miri
      September 7, 2023 at 5:27 am | #

      Sorry, accidentally flagged it 😬 which should be ironic…

      I choose to interpret it as Sonic desperately trying to pull the impaling cross from poor Aslan’s head, hidden by corporate America…

    • milu
      milu
      September 7, 2023 at 9:06 am | #

      wow this flag is incredible.

      (i’m not up on sonic fanlore so i dont get that bit)

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      September 7, 2023 at 11:04 am | #

      I don’t hate the flag, but wow that’s awful. Not the sonic part, that’s kind of funny, but the actual flag. I’ve seen the version with the cross and the lion, but adding punisher skulls instead of stars takes it to a new level.

  17. ian livs
    ian livs
    September 7, 2023 at 12:33 am | #

    Last panel Joyce–I’m so glad I’m not the only person who does that (constantly, in my case)

    • Amós Batista
      Amós Batista
      September 7, 2023 at 4:52 am | #

      Making puns is a completely healthy action

  18. Dr. T
    Dr. T
    September 7, 2023 at 12:49 am | #

    Honestly, that’s just smurfing rude. Joyce was clearly having a conversation with Joe and can have guests in her own room.

    • Bash
      Bash
      September 7, 2023 at 12:57 am | #

      Sarah can overstep a bit when doing what she thinks is best for Joyce.

      • Big Z
        Big Z
        September 7, 2023 at 8:18 am | #

        Sarah Half the characters in this comic can overstep a bit when doing what [they think] is best for Joyce.

        And half the members of this comment section, too.

    • Francoinblanco
      Francoinblanco
      September 7, 2023 at 12:59 am | #

      Joyce making her own decision? What a grand and intoxicating idea.

      • Jesper
        Jesper
        September 7, 2023 at 4:13 am | #

        It is not too late for Sarah’s mercy!

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      September 7, 2023 at 1:04 am | #

      its a little rude, but a person has a say over who is not welcome in their home.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 7, 2023 at 1:50 am | #

      Kinda? It’s a shared room, so Sarah might get some say. I think that’s the sort of thing that the roommate agreement is supposed to address.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      September 7, 2023 at 3:14 am | #

      I guess she could have asked why he was there in the first place, or told him to leave and then let him do so under his own power. But abruptly dragging him out mid-sentence is funnier, and it’s not like Joyce won’t explain tomorrow.

    • The Oracle
      The Oracle
      September 7, 2023 at 3:41 am | #

      It’s not rude to drag a known sex pest out of your bedroom without warning. Sarah trusts him so little that she couldn’t let Joyce and Liz hang out in HIS room unchaperoned, after all.

  19. Wraithy2773
    Wraithy2773
    September 7, 2023 at 12:57 am | #

    Really hope this “Clearly framed as comedic in nature” scene doesn’t bring out the “character is being an evil monster!” crowd.

    Like, yeah, this is not cool by Sarah, but in context it’s a fun gag that overemphasizes Sarah’s reaction to Joe’s reputation and him being around Joyce.

    • Francoinblanco
      Francoinblanco
      September 7, 2023 at 1:00 am | #

      Is this gonna be batery or assult lawsuit?

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        September 7, 2023 at 3:15 am | #

        Littering.

        • milu
          milu
          September 7, 2023 at 1:25 pm | #

          Grand Theft Auto. (that was Joyce’s ride Sarah just towed away)

    • Just an Armadillo
      Just an Armadillo
      September 7, 2023 at 1:38 am | #

      As somebody who’s been a bit irritated with Sarah’s attitude recently: this is fine. It was funny. I am worried about how this conversation might progress from here though.

    • The Oracle
      The Oracle
      September 7, 2023 at 3:34 am | #

      Not wanting people to turn a simple gag into a real life court case is gatekeeping, actually. It’s my human right to joylessly force the United States legal system into every possible scenario and paint normal cartoon teenages as violent criminals. If you don’t have fun reading my unhinged rants about why these characters should be in federal prison, you’re tone policing me and trying to stifle ideas that make you uncomfortable. Only my emotional responses are valid, and anyone who so much as questions them is a wokeflake.

      • milu
        milu
        September 7, 2023 at 8:41 am | #

        that is a truly batshit stand, and i applaud you for taking it.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        September 7, 2023 at 9:47 pm | #

        This is a response I have been seeing unironically on too many comments on things in Facebook lately “Your criticism of my criticism is gatekeeping my opinions!”

  20. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    September 7, 2023 at 1:00 am | #

    Joyce just coined the term for a bloodsuckers-only orgy.

  21. ADLegend21
    ADLegend21
    September 7, 2023 at 1:07 am | #

    I love the image of her just scooting him over the course of a couple minutes. I too would like Sarah to scoot me.

  22. CitrineMonster
    CitrineMonster
    September 7, 2023 at 1:08 am | #

    What’s particularly funny about the bit is that it takes several minutes to scoot someone. Did joe just accept his fate while joyce was engrossed in the development of her pun? Did sarah just make no noise even as she deposited joe at the open door? Absolute dorks i love the fuck out if everyone in this strip. A 10/10 gag that has distilled everyone perfectly. Cant wait for dorks to take this too seriously.

    • Just an Armadillo
      Just an Armadillo
      September 7, 2023 at 1:40 am | #

      Joe’s survival instincts tell him that any form of protest against Sarah related evictions would be extremely detrimental to his health. He’s just going to sit out in the hall until Joyce explains the situation and be ready to run if Sarah starts sounding particularly angry.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      September 7, 2023 at 2:10 am | #

      Joe knows better than to fight back against Sarah.

    • eh, whatever
      eh, whatever
      September 7, 2023 at 2:53 am | #

      Sarah has the moment of surprise, clearly depicted in the 3rd panel.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      September 7, 2023 at 3:17 am | #

      Several minutes? The room is like 7’x7′ and he’s sat in the middle of it. 30 seconds, tops.

      • Azhrei Vep
        Azhrei Vep
        September 7, 2023 at 7:34 am | #

        Especially since, as I interpret it, he’s pushing himself along with his feet as she pulls because it’s not worth a fight right now, and the other option is getting strangled by his own collar/ruining his shirt while Sarah gives herself a hernia. That’s the real source of the ‘scoot scoot’ sound effect.

  23. TJ
    TJ
    September 7, 2023 at 3:16 am | #

    Ohhh that gave me a weird vibe. This might amuse you Willis, but I remember reading some iteration of your comic years ago and thinking all the characters had a childhood just before mine and they were more adult than me.

    …and then you remind me of Joyce being into Twilight as a kid and a got whatever the emotion Ethan felt picturing Bruce Wayne leaving the theater after watching Pokemon the Movie:2000

    • The Oracle
      The Oracle
      September 7, 2023 at 3:38 am | #

      That movie is boring as hell. There’s no way it would help inspire a kid to become a vigilante. If anything, the rich guy collecting rare exotic birds is going to encourage Baby Bruce to do the same. After his parents’ death, Bruce becomes a bird-themed villain who trains falcons to steal jewelery, and names them after Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres.

      • Dante
        Dante
        September 7, 2023 at 4:02 am | #

        Well, I mean. He clearly can’t stop hoarding Robins

        • The Oracle
          The Oracle
          September 7, 2023 at 4:08 am | #

          Exactly. Imagine how much worse he’d have become.

          • NickG
            NickG
            September 7, 2023 at 6:03 am | #

            He will put all of them inside him, in order of largest to smallest.

  24. saltchocolate
    saltchocolate
    September 7, 2023 at 3:37 am | #

    Uh oh.

  25. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    September 7, 2023 at 5:07 am | #

    Sonic can be kneeling in the cross, or Joyce randomly saying “Sonic the hedgehog” in the end, like Walky….

  26. Da Boy
    Da Boy
    September 7, 2023 at 5:12 am | #

    And now we enter the awkward territory of Sarah finding out that Joyce and Joe are chummy now. Grab your full plate armor and build a bunker cause it’s getting apocalyptic in here!

  27. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    September 7, 2023 at 5:38 am | #

    Sarah doing her best Lily Hammerschmidt from Leftover Soup.

  28. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    September 7, 2023 at 6:01 am | #

    it’s such a missed occasion that the strip isn’t titled “Vampile” XD

  29. Amelie Wikström
    Amelie Wikström
    September 7, 2023 at 6:15 am | #

    “You know he just wants to get in your pants, right?’

    “We’ve been talking since the kidnapping. Uh, the first kidnapping. When Mr McIntire came here to shoot Becky. I mean really talking. I’m closer to him than to you. I guess we’ve been dating a while now? It’s hard to say when things changed, it’s been like a gradual thing. I want to get in his pants more than the other way around, but I don’t know if it’s going to happen. It’s not going to be on his initiative anyway.”

    “But you know he’s a sex pest? He looks at women like Walky looks at nachitos. Remember the ‘do’ list?”

    “Yeah, he hasn’t had sex since then. Like, at all. I don’t think he’s that person anymore.”

    That’s a reasonable conversation these girls could have! But it won’t happen cause of the reverse Bechdel rule. (And probably other reasons too.)

    • milu
      milu
      September 7, 2023 at 9:01 am | #

      reverse Bechdel rule?

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        September 7, 2023 at 11:05 am | #

        It’s like the Bechdel rule, but the person in top sits with their back to the one on the bottom, giving them a better view of the butt.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          September 7, 2023 at 11:06 am | #

          “On” is a word, automangle.

          • milu
            milu
            September 7, 2023 at 11:46 am | #

            can’t wait for autocorrect to become intelligent enough to understand when i mean “in” and when i mean “on” smh.

            and also to assume “butt” every time i write “but”, not the other way around, smhhhh

            • milu
              milu
              September 7, 2023 at 11:49 am | #

              hm. this was meant to sound comedically dystopian but ended up sounding plausible

              * can’t way for autocorrect to be able to trawl all of my data ever and simulate my brain with enough accuracy that…

      • Amelie Wikström
        Amelie Wikström
        September 7, 2023 at 11:35 am | #

        The Bechdel test was covered early in the comic: A movie has to have two named women characters who have a conversation that’s not about a man. So the comic has a rule that no conversations between two women are ever about a man, or at least not primarily about a man. (And in the few scenes where two men have a conversation, it’s about a woman.)

        • milu
          milu
          September 7, 2023 at 11:43 am | #

          ah cheers, didn’t remember that =)

        • milu
          milu
          September 7, 2023 at 11:59 am | #

          Serious question now. Does the entirety of DOA actually fail the reverse Bechdel test??? that would be based af. (and impressive.) i doubt it but i can’t immediately recall any strip between two cis male characters who talk about something other than a woman/trans person…??

          • milu
            milu
            September 7, 2023 at 12:01 pm | #

            …ok, wait, no obviously there’s a few such moments like the infamous Ethan-Danny discussion at the hospital.

            • milu
              milu
              September 7, 2023 at 12:10 pm | #

              …then again. If we reconfigure the rule to not need to apply to single strips but to entire scenes… that scene has Amber mentioned. The Ethan-Asher interaction recently, another contender, mentions Jennifer in one of the strips.

              …And besides, there’s a case for a more lenient Reverse Bechdel Rule that disqualifies gay/bi male characters, at least in the context of them flirting or other such gay interactions

              i would still be impressed if the rule held under these rules

              • milu
                milu
                September 7, 2023 at 12:19 pm | #

                also wait a sec. @Amelie there seem to be two different “reverse” going on here.

                If the Bechdel test is: “is there at least 1 conversation (in the entire text) between named non-cis-male characters which isn’t about a cis man?”

                then the reverse might be: “is there at least 1 conversation between named cis-males characters that isn’t about a non-cis-male character?”

                OR, and i vaguely remember that was what that old punchline was implying, it could mean “do ALL conversations (as opposed to at least 1) between named non-cis-male characters pass the Bechdel test?” in this version conversations between dudes are not relevant.

                ok bye

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            September 7, 2023 at 9:54 pm | #

            There are conversations with Walky and another dude that are about nachitos, and only nachitos. I think those would count. For something.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      September 7, 2023 at 11:50 am | #

      Malaya might be mentioned, Liz definitely.

  30. shrub
    shrub
    September 7, 2023 at 6:34 am | #

    Funny gag and all but also another example of Joyce’s friends infantilizing her

    Hoping this isn’t a throw away gag but instead leads to some, much needed, character growth for Sarah

    • Daibhid C
      Daibhid C
      September 7, 2023 at 1:15 pm | #

      Pretty sure she would have dealt with Joe’s presence in exactly the same way regardless of who else was in the room.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      September 7, 2023 at 2:28 pm | #

      She can want her hate sink not to be in her home, without it being “infantilizing”. She’s her own person, not Joyce’s fairy godmother.

  31. Theluxland
    Theluxland
    September 7, 2023 at 7:32 am | #

    Pest control Sarah at your service, I heard there were an infestation of Joes here, right?

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      September 7, 2023 at 8:53 am | #

      Yeah, there’s a lot of discourse on the scooting, but the “Did you know …” line is comedy gold to me.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        September 7, 2023 at 11:07 am | #

        Sarah comes back in on a mechanic’s rolly board, somehow covered in engine oil. “Found your problem. There’s a Joe in here.”

      • milu
        milu
        September 7, 2023 at 11:52 am | #

        sCoOtInG dIsCoUrSe

    • milu
      milu
      September 7, 2023 at 1:30 pm | #

      once you’ve caught a Joe they can be a pain to get rid of, and next thing you know they’re crawling into all your friends’ beds, too.

  32. Carla's #2 Fan
    Carla's #2 Fan
    September 7, 2023 at 7:32 am | #

    Aww Joyce! I have that quirk too! My brain is always looking for words to mush. I sometimes feel embarrassed by it, like I’m drawing attention to myself when it’s not my place. However, I’ve been working on getting comfortable taking up social and physical space. Seeing Joyce do this is helpful for that quirk at least!

    • poofdepoof
      poofdepoof
      September 7, 2023 at 9:30 am | #

      I too love a good word smush!

  33. SDRainbow
    SDRainbow
    September 7, 2023 at 7:49 am | #

    Discourse about Joyce and Sarah and Sarah’s treatment of Joyce and whether or not Sarah is assault and batterying Joe: welcomed, delightful

    But the content I need injected in my veins directly is actually Sarah and Joe interactions. I need this confrontation like I need oxygen.

  34. Laura
    Laura
    September 7, 2023 at 12:35 pm | #

    Well, this lovely song, “Distant Relatives” just popped up on the jukebox…

    https://youtu.be/yGTWK7rbmks?si=A98zUssJ7QVelkMg

    Reminded me of Black Jesus and the Black Disciples. I wonder how Joyce’s family’s worldview would have changed, had they had a more historically accurate Picture Bible and grown up worshipping a Black man.

  35. FlyingSunspot
    FlyingSunspot
    September 7, 2023 at 12:52 pm | #

    Hisomnt c

    • milu
      milu
      September 7, 2023 at 1:26 pm | #

      Ghoktaf slomsh, dflkhjkkh.

  36. Roborat
    Roborat
    September 7, 2023 at 3:25 pm | #

    Ref the alt text: I got that reference.

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Shen Comix @shenanigansen.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
if you're ever sad alone silently, consider this: - i hold a copyright on being like that - you are encroaching on my intellectual property - i will send you a cease & desist - i will possibly take you to court so please make yourself legally distinct by talking to someone about it
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
(May 22, 2026)
Joyce and Walky have a discussion in front of FOUR DOORS, one of which still totally exists to this day
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
look okay openpsychometrics.org/tests/charac...
alinapete.bsky.social's user avatarAlina Pete @alinapete.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
Take the fictional character quiz and post the first four you know: openpsychometrics.org/tests/charac... What this should tell you is that I'm always down to cause chaos and good trouble
Guinean from Star Trek TNG, wearing an orange outfit
Lilo from the animated Lilo and Stitch
Westley from The Princess Bride
Robin Hood the hot anthro fox from the animated Robin Hood
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
iykyk
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