Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 5, 2026

Convince

by David M Willis on January 24, 2024 at 12:01 am
  • 02 – It's The Love I Haven't Got
└ Tags: walky

Discussion (208) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Bruno
    Bruno
    January 24, 2024 at 12:03 am | #

    The posts. Too real.

    • Decidedly Orthogonal
      Decidedly Orthogonal
      January 24, 2024 at 10:36 am | #

      Indeed. But Malaya is absolutely the wrong avatar for that comment. 😆

      • Mturtle7
        Mturtle7
        January 24, 2024 at 12:49 pm | #

        AU where Malaya is physically capable of feeling the emotion of shame

        • Clif
          Clif
          January 24, 2024 at 11:33 pm | #

          Well, first she’d have to do something to be ashamed of.

  2. Red
    Red
    January 24, 2024 at 12:03 am | #

    Oh sweet fool

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      January 24, 2024 at 12:05 am | #

      Yeah.

      He’s trying so hard, but he knows that his relationship with his parents is done.

      • sakamism
        sakamism
        January 24, 2024 at 12:10 am | #

        I think it’s a bit hasty to say it’s completely with both of them after one thirty-second argument. Especially with Charles, who seemed to take his wife’s side by default more than anything else. His relationship with *Linda* may never be the same, but like…that’s fine, actually. She sucks.

        • Coatl
          Coatl
          January 24, 2024 at 12:15 am | #

          And don’t forget that expression she showed yesterday, that was not the expression of an upset mother, that was an expression of genuine hatred, I even dare to say that she no longer saw her son, she only saw someone she wants to make pay. cruelly for provoking her.

          • TrueVCU
            TrueVCU
            January 24, 2024 at 12:22 am | #

            I dunno, moms get MEGA PISSED at their kids from time to time, and we all know Linda’s ability to rationalize Walky’s (her good LIGHTER son) behavior is legendary.

            • Coatl
              Coatl
              January 24, 2024 at 12:26 am | #

              We have to wait to see how Linda carries out her counterattack.

              • Dara
                Dara
                January 24, 2024 at 1:05 am | #

                Liiiiiiiiiiiiiinda knows the dean. (ha HAAAAA – biblically!)

                She knows who monkeyed with Walky’s grades

                AND

                already hates her

                AND

                she knows Walky cares for her, even if not romantically.

                ohhhhh geeeeee

                • Coatl
                  Coatl
                  January 24, 2024 at 1:10 am | #

                  Canon, completely canon!!!

                • Imogen
                  Imogen
                  January 24, 2024 at 1:15 am | #

                  She’s not gonna let Walky get kicked out, is the thing. That embarrassment isn’t acceptable to the Linda we know.

                • Schpoonman
                  Schpoonman
                  January 24, 2024 at 1:28 am | #

                  Right, which is why she’s going to paint it (ironically correctly) as Amber changing his grades without Walky’s knowledge or consent, making him a victim (while still profiting from the grade change) and leaving Amber to be punished.

                • Needfuldoer
                  Needfuldoer
                  January 24, 2024 at 3:05 am | #

                  oh no

                  oh no

                • Decidedly Orthogonal
                  Decidedly Orthogonal
                  January 24, 2024 at 10:39 am | #

                  Knowing something and being able to prove it are two different things. But yeah, the decade of evil moms is certainly in full swing. 💔

                • tunasammich
                  tunasammich
                  January 24, 2024 at 8:43 pm | #

                  Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan this is logical but…I hope the story doesn’t go in this direction it’ll be a stressful storyline haha

                • Allen Alberti
                  Allen Alberti
                  January 25, 2024 at 12:09 am | #

                  If Linda gets Amber expelled, I will personally find a way to Cool World her out of Webcomicland and lock her in an actual dungeon.

            • Archieve
              Archieve
              January 24, 2024 at 1:55 am | #

              Thing about her past treatment of walky, as Jennifer points out he never infact was the golden child but the second favorite who never did anything his parents didn’t like before. It’s been Jennifer’s behaviour that the parents ( mostly Linda) rationalize not their son. Linda is shown this week to not in fact give her son leeway for minor issues like his grades so in less hopeful his parents will will his words serious consideration.

              • Needfuldoer
                Needfuldoer
                January 24, 2024 at 3:08 am | #

                But she is willing to overlook drunk driving at prom, because “prom is for making mistakes”.

                https://www.dumbingofage.com/taughthimself/

                Linda won gold in mental gymnastics.

                • Miri
                  Miri
                  January 24, 2024 at 4:01 am | #

                  She is willing to overlook Jennifer drunk-driving at prom, and rationalise it away for her, because Jennifer is the golden child. Walky might have been in therapy for it; Sal in a non-voluntary psychiatric hold for intensive treatment (possibly including ECT type stuff… Wrong century for a lobotomy to make her easier to manage but right parent attitude… https://people.com/politics/untold-story-of-rosemary-kennedy-and-her-disastrous-lobotomy/ NB, her father did this without discussing/informing his wife beforehand… 😬).

                  Walky would have been held on a tight leash because clearly he couldn’t cope with increasing freedoms. Sal would have been sent further away.

            • Bryy
              Bryy
              January 24, 2024 at 6:15 pm | #

              Yeah. As someone who has been on the receiving end of that stare (for altogether different reasons), they will still love you.

              But that love is now conditional.

              • Wilddeath
                Wilddeath
                January 24, 2024 at 7:20 pm | #

                From my experience all parental love is conditional and vanishes the moment you do something they do not like or that makes them look bad. You need to tip toe around parents like landmines that actively hate your existence and are looking for an excuse to explode. Cause that’s all parents are.

                • Ro
                  Ro
                  January 25, 2024 at 11:35 am | #

                  I’m really sorry that’s been your experience. That isn’t a healthy or normal way for parents to be, you deserve and child you deserved real love

              • Archieve
                Archieve
                January 24, 2024 at 11:47 pm | #

                If parental love or any love is taken away that easily is not love at all.

        • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
          DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
          January 24, 2024 at 2:31 am | #

          That kind of might make him worse than she is. Maintains that pretense of character while always supporting whatever she felt of justified…Only arguing with her when they were alone and over something that would lead her into getting in her own way should anyone who both cares and has credibility…

          Charles might not be an outright Karen like his wife, but given he’s only a better person than her when it’s convenient for him…And her wing man the rest of the time…Well, that’s telling.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            January 24, 2024 at 9:52 am | #

            The “good cop” is still a cop.

            • Decidedly Orthogonal
              Decidedly Orthogonal
              January 24, 2024 at 10:42 am | #

              And if we’re sitting at a table with nien others, there’s ten of them sitting at the table.

  3. Lucretiel
    Lucretiel
    January 24, 2024 at 12:03 am | #

    Facebook memories really are a blessing and a curse

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 24, 2024 at 10:48 am | #

      Joyce found that out a few chapters ago.

  4. Poskie
    Poskie
    January 24, 2024 at 12:03 am | #

    The persistent war against past versions of oneself is an unfortunately familiar feeling.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      January 24, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

      Indeed.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      January 24, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

      Extremely. Luckily I only see them on anniversaries.

      • clif
        clif
        January 24, 2024 at 1:31 am | #

        +1 Internets

      • Mturtle7
        Mturtle7
        January 24, 2024 at 12:51 pm | #

        *rimshot*

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      January 24, 2024 at 12:11 am | #

      I think some incidents of past me had some very important skills and qualities I have come to lack, even as I have improved in other areas (and acquired more knowledge, some of which I shall arrogantly call wisdom). I keep feeling like I am constantly trying to stich together some horrible perfect Frankenstein version of myself by merging the two and it is not going well so far.

      PS. Sorry about accidently hitting the report comment button on you.

      • Songbird
        Songbird
        January 24, 2024 at 10:49 am | #

        This sentiment is a little more relatable than I’d like to admit, considering there are aspects of past me’s personality that I really do miss and wish I still had, even if other parts of me have improved since then.

    • Amelie Wikström
      Amelie Wikström
      January 24, 2024 at 4:14 am | #

      Better to think you used to be an idiot than looking back and thinking the best in you has already passed out of existence. It means you’re still learning and improving.

      Nothing worse than peaking in high school. Except maybe looking at something you wrote ten years ago and realizing you have not changed at all.

      • Mark
        Mark
        January 24, 2024 at 7:08 pm | #

        +1

  5. newlland(Henryvolt)
    newlland(Henryvolt)
    January 24, 2024 at 12:05 am | #

    Yeah it might be a bit of a slow burn.

    But If Linda has any ability of noticing a change of patterns she be able to see that the child she used to butting heads with doesn’t even think she’s worth the effort of talking too anymore let alone arguing with and other one who’s used to being spineless just confronted them.

    • Archieve
      Archieve
      January 24, 2024 at 1:49 am | #

      Unfortunately, I can see her just blaming Sal as a bad influence on Walky since he never got these ideas until they were reintroduced.

  6. Icalasari
    Icalasari
    January 24, 2024 at 12:05 am | #

    Your birthday card will be removing you from college for it giving you “woke” ideas

    Seriously, I can see Linda blaming the college for Walky being like this now

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      January 24, 2024 at 12:13 am | #

      Nah, that’s Carol’s schtick. Linda’s woke! She voted for Obama! She liked Walky’s atheist girlfriend! She supports gay people, in the abstract, I’m reasonably sure! (If it wasn’t clear that should be sarcasm, but I DO think Linda’s the kind of person who thinks of herself as “vaguely liberal” even as her actions bely a TON of unexamined biases, if only because that gives better contrast with the fundamentalist bad parents.)

      I think she’s going to ignore/“charitably overlook” this visit as an outlier (for now) and then coincidentally inform him he’s taking premed courses next semester. (And to some extent it will genuinely be coincidental since she’d have to start pushing at some point, but it will not feel that way.) And THEN when he protests, the threat of pulling him out/refusing to pay tuition comes out, probably with a side order of bringing back this conversation and any other ammunition she has at that point.

  7. Nono
    Nono
    January 24, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

    Wonder if the Walkertons were born in Easter.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      January 24, 2024 at 12:27 am | #

      Pretty sure Walky and Sal’s canonical birthday is April 1, but whether or not April 1 happened to be Easter in the year of their birth would have to fluctuate based on the sliding timescale.

      • Johnny Posadas
        Johnny Posadas
        January 24, 2024 at 12:33 am | #

        Man that’s sliding timescale and a lunar calendar, thats so hard to figure out

      • Tan
        Tan
        January 24, 2024 at 12:43 am | #

        The two most recent times that April 1 has been Easter were 1956 and 2018. We will therefore have to wait until 2036/2037 for Sal and Walky to have been born on Easter.

        (the next time it will be Easter will be 2029)

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 24, 2024 at 12:08 pm | #

      Nah, they’re from Evansville. It’d be a little unusual for them to have been born in coastal England, or at least remarkable enough we’d have been told by now.

  8. True Survivor
    True Survivor
    January 24, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

    So very wise, yet so avaricious. Never change Walky.

  9. Viktoria
    Viktoria
    January 24, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

    Props to Walky for setting realistic goals. I like that he recognizes that he won’t get anywhere fast, but it’s still worth taking one step.

    • Coatl
      Coatl
      January 24, 2024 at 12:08 am | #

      He just won the first round of this fight, I still have my doubts about him, but he did well

    • Archieve
      Archieve
      January 24, 2024 at 2:06 am | #

      Unfortunately I think he’s going to have to lower his expectations from a few months to a few years st best regarding his parents actually acknowledgeding racism.

      • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        January 24, 2024 at 2:56 am | #

        Struck me as less about his parents acknowledging jack shit and more about him acknowledging Sal was right about them and it’s going to cost him meaningful things down the line if he doesn’t see them for who they are and try his best not to turn into a willing toad squeezer like his dad.

        Also, Linda strikes me as less of a racist and more of a morbid elitist *AND*…Somehow…A wannabe elitist at the same time. Charles, well, it may be about self-hatred related to what it was like growing up in old money possibly as a bastard whom resulted from Mom or Dad “sowing their wild oats” and grew up a pleaser. Sal and David may have not even met the rest of the family on either side, for all we know…

        • cain
          cain
          January 24, 2024 at 7:18 am | #

          What is a toad squeezer? Googled but couldn’t find context

          • Pergola
            Pergola
            January 24, 2024 at 10:09 am | #

            It’s when you want the toad juice but don’t want to get your hands messy.

            “Here, squeeze this toad.”

          • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
            DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
            January 24, 2024 at 7:29 pm | #

            Google “toady.” Toad squeezer is where the idiom ‘toady’ came from.

        • zee
          zee
          January 24, 2024 at 9:25 am | #

          Racism and elitism tend to go hand in hand

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 24, 2024 at 11:23 am | #

          Sal and Walky grew up knowing at least one grandma. The Walkertons haven’t, at least at that time, been cut off.

        • Archieve
          Archieve
          January 24, 2024 at 11:29 am | #

          Linda is a racist first elitist close second I woukd say, though the seconds often used to hide the first. I suspet linda has an upper middle class background, grew up with the expectation she would join the elits as an adult and is bitter that hasn’t really happened no matter how much she tries to claim Jennifer for a daughter.

          • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
            DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
            January 24, 2024 at 8:12 pm | #

            I was imagining both Linda and Charles growing up with silver spoons in their mouths. Linda’s rather….Unorthodox approach to parenting could be based on a “That’s how I was raised and I turned out just FINE!” principle.

            She also seemed to the more focused on being able to rub elbows with big-shots than just making a fortune. Linda’s ex-husband’s a Dean at Indiana University? Keep in touch! That means we know a somebody!

            A surrogate motherhood that now that I think about it, probably was all about raising Jennifer in her parents’ place, because for her to carry and birth her with David and Sal being her age, well, shooting for carrying a third baby from a completely different couple when you are already pregnant with twins? Is that even doable? Either way, that links then to the governor of their state and all his money, power, and blue-bloodedness (in Linda’s mind, at least)

            Then comes the christian TV show that both David and Sal were supposed to be actors in. Casting crew guy said Walky is what they’re looking for but not Sal. Figuring they never had anything to do with church or the like after that TV show went nowhere, Lin & Chuckie probably had high hopes.

            I’ve gotten hints that the Walkerton Family (Charle’s parents and grandparents, probably) might be big donors to Indiana University, and recall allusions of Linda’s big ventures but not what their day jobs are/were….

            • Uly
              Uly
              January 24, 2024 at 9:12 pm | #

              Then comes the christian TV show that both David and Sal were supposed to be actors in. Casting crew guy said Walky is what they’re looking for but not Sal. Figuring they never had anything to do with church or the like after that TV show went nowhere, Lin & Chuckie probably had high hopes.

              According to Walky’s flashback, the casting guy said they only needed one child, and Linda not-so-arbitrarily picked him over his sister.

            • Archieve
              Archieve
              January 24, 2024 at 9:13 pm | #

              I think since Linda hasn’t been as sucessful in life as she wanted she puts everything into connections to feel influenceal. Pretty sure the only reason she sent both kids to that university was so she could look impressive calling in favors with her ex. I suspect when walky first befriended Jennifer Linda did everything she could do to get Jennifer at their place hoping she would eventually marry walky though if so that kind of backfired since Walky now sees her as a sibling. I figure the tv shows whee to try to get famous kids since Linda never made all the important connectionsshe wanted. If I recall it was Linda who picked walky over Sal for the Christian show because they only had a role for one and the guy didn’t care which twin. Once walkys tv careers went nowhere Linda put all her hope into raising a genius which is why she’s so furious that her son doesn’t have perfect grades.

  10. CrazyJ
    CrazyJ
    January 24, 2024 at 12:08 am | #

    I was born through Caesarean section because my brother was born that way before me meaning all future births had to be, and the doctor scheduled it for April fools. At which point my mom threw a fit and said there was no way she was going to give birth on April 1st, so they rescheduled for the 2nd.

    • elebenty
      elebenty
      January 24, 2024 at 1:09 pm | #

      She fought for you!

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      January 24, 2024 at 6:33 pm | #

      I’m 8mo pregnant, and may have to get induced (for reasons). The exact date is way less important that any other priority for this one, but still, I confess a little disappointment that he won’t come a lil late, that we won’t have a Leap Year Baby of Feb 29.

      • StClair
        StClair
        January 24, 2024 at 9:05 pm | #

        At least he probably won’t end up mistakenly apprenticed to a pirate.

        • Clif
          Clif
          January 24, 2024 at 11:40 pm | #

          It will be on purpose?

          • Leorale
            Leorale
            January 25, 2024 at 8:19 am | #

            Definitely, til his 21st birthday. Gotta raise this kid right.

  11. Aura
    Aura
    January 24, 2024 at 12:08 am | #

    See also: Walky’s Twitter account
    (And I’d add a link too if it weren’t for that meddling Elon!)

    • Marianne
      Marianne
      January 24, 2024 at 2:46 am | #

      Isn’t that technically called an X-cretion now? “Hey look, Walky X-creted!”

      • morleuca
        morleuca
        January 24, 2024 at 5:05 am | #

        I refuse to acknowledge accept twitters name change until Elon acknowledges and accepts Jenna.

        • DashWallkick
          DashWallkick
          January 24, 2024 at 6:15 am | #

          I simply refuse to acknowledge the name change. It’s something you simply can’t do, that’s the name you were born with, it’s who you are, and there’s nothing that changes that, not even science!

          Ergo – it will be Twitter to me forever.

          • Mark
            Mark
            January 24, 2024 at 7:14 pm | #

            Yup. Like the Sears Tower.

  12. Dara
    Dara
    January 24, 2024 at 12:08 am | #

    How far is April our time? Six years?

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      January 24, 2024 at 12:13 am | #

      If no timeskips, and no major flashbacks, around 16 to 22 years.

      • Bryy
        Bryy
        January 24, 2024 at 12:17 am | #

        ….. it’s actually going to be that long, isn’t it?

      • Dara
        Dara
        January 24, 2024 at 2:00 am | #

        Oh, okay, so Walky basically has 16 to 22 years to solve everything? Easy peasy! Wow, that’s a relief. xD

  13. Nono
    Nono
    January 24, 2024 at 12:09 am | #

    I mean it takes about 7 years to replace all the cells in your body, right?

    Maybe Walky will see them again when he’s 25-26.

    • eh, whatever
      eh, whatever
      January 24, 2024 at 5:33 am | #

      That’s an average. Many cells are never replaced.

    • PiIkScientist
      PiIkScientist
      January 24, 2024 at 5:37 am | #

      Somehow it took this exact comment to make me realize I’ve fully eclipsed these characters in age since I started reading. They’re now younger than me the same amount they were older than me then. In a year I’ll be the age Walky could be in 7 years. Thank you for the reminder of time. I blame and damn Willis.

  14. sdrainbow
    sdrainbow
    January 24, 2024 at 12:10 am | #

    while acknowledging this is a “last comic punchline that’s maybe not actually reality”, it’s big walky energy that his most anguished expression is the one where he realizes he might suffer a consequence

    • PedanticJerkass
      PedanticJerkass
      January 24, 2024 at 12:45 am | #

      Well, it was either that, or he’d just recalled a particularly bad old Internet post.

    • Archieve
      Archieve
      January 24, 2024 at 2:03 am | #

      That’s the problem with parents like Linda, their kids words bounce right off them, meanwhile Linda’s lat words about “saying something he will regret” is starting to sound like a threat in his mind.

  15. Coatl
    Coatl
    January 24, 2024 at 12:11 am | #

    Well, what’s done is done, he knows what he did, he knows there will be retaliation, now we just have to wait and see what he will say to Sal about this.

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      January 24, 2024 at 12:16 am | #

      God, that’s right.

      Jennifer, please don’t make this about yourself.

      • Coatl
        Coatl
        January 24, 2024 at 12:23 am | #

        Let’s hope not, look what she almost did with Dorothy and now with this boy

      • Archieve
        Archieve
        January 24, 2024 at 1:44 am | #

        It will be interesting to see Jennifer ls reaction, on one hand she like to see herself as the problem solver who is “at the top of her game” on the other she seems to still enjoy the illusion of parental love the Walkersons offer and might not like the idea of having to choose a side.

        • Archieve
          Archieve
          January 24, 2024 at 1:46 am | #

          Especially since she’s just excepted racism as an unspoken part of their personalities I get the impression she was expecting to help without direct confrontation.

  16. Hazel
    Hazel
    January 24, 2024 at 12:12 am | #

    I read some old(ish) internet posts of mine and they seem pretty sensible. I vaguely remember some much older posts that were…not. Walky’s young enough that he’s still changing pretty quickly.

    • Coatl
      Coatl
      January 24, 2024 at 12:19 am | #

      Well, keep in mind that no character here is perfect, yes, some have committed to change, but it is obvious that we cannot take for granted that some progress is really significant, heh, there is a reason the title of this comic is in capital letters

      • Mr D phone posting
        Mr D phone posting
        January 24, 2024 at 2:35 am | #

        In the words of the grand philosopher of our time, Noonan:
        ”
        I don’t trust a man that doesn’t have something strange going on about him, ’cause it means he’s hiding it from you. If a man’s wearing his pants on his head or if he says his words backwards from time to time, you know it’s all laid out there for you. But if he’s friendly to strangers and keeps his home spick-and-span, more often than not he’s done something even his own ma couldn’t forgive.”

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      January 24, 2024 at 6:26 am | #

      Some posts of mine I look back on like, “Hey, that was pretty solid,” and some I look back on like, “Oh god, I need to remember what email I used with this account so I can delete it all.”

  17. Joe Moose
    Joe Moose
    January 24, 2024 at 12:14 am | #

    How funny of him to assume he’ll get a birthday card after this.

  18. Marvelman
    Marvelman
    January 24, 2024 at 12:15 am | #

    It’s still January in the DOA universe, right?

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      January 24, 2024 at 1:14 am | #

      23rd or 24th, depending on background information.

  19. Cmasta1992
    Cmasta1992
    January 24, 2024 at 12:17 am | #

    Ah a fellow Aries. One of us! One of us!

  20. Rocketboy1313
    Rocketboy1313
    January 24, 2024 at 12:18 am | #

    A big issue with older generations is they think “racism” is just a synonym for “bad behavior” and since they do not see themselves as “bad people” they therefore can’t be doing “bad behavior” and therefore they are not racist.

    This is of course wrong. People who are otherwise good can be racist in ways too subtle for them to notice with self reflection and a critical eye on their past behavior and motivations. Unwilling to explore their past deeds with such a critical eye, often out of a fear of breaking their self image, they will consistently double down on the idea of, “I am a good person and good people are not racist, ergo I am not racist.” Which to reiterate: is wrong.

    • Coatl
      Coatl
      January 24, 2024 at 12:21 am | #

      It seems they are not aware that they are human

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      January 24, 2024 at 8:20 am | #

      This is not merely a problem with older generations. This is a problem with people.

      It’s more obvious with older generations, since what’s socially acceptable changes over time, but it can be seen everywhere.

    • James
      James
      January 24, 2024 at 3:28 pm | #

      Someone on here phrased it as something like “no racists except klansmen,” ie only understanding racism as the most overt, blatantly hostile things vs the reality of hundreds of tiny unexamined behaviors and societal advantages or roadblocks.

  21. Laura
    Laura
    January 24, 2024 at 12:18 am | #

    …Anyone up for a game?

    How’s this:

    What would you like to do on your birthday? (Speaking of Walky’s birthday.)

    • Laura
      Laura
      January 24, 2024 at 12:18 am | #

      I can go:

      -I would really like to visit the wildlife sanctuary. Just for a walk.

    • NGPZ
      NGPZ
      January 24, 2024 at 12:21 am | #

      Eat pizza, take edibles and chill. 😋 🍕 😊

      • Laura
        Laura
        January 24, 2024 at 12:31 am | #

        Yum! :-9

        I made a pizza omelette the other day: egg whites spread out over a cast-iron fry pan with avocado oil, two eggs cracked on top, a layer of cheese, then a layer of spinach, then a layer of tomato paste, then italian spices and onions and garlic on top.
        DEE-LICORISH!

        • Laura
          Laura
          January 24, 2024 at 12:33 am | #

          Oh, I forgot: on a flour tortilla

          • NGPZ
            NGPZ
            January 24, 2024 at 12:39 am | #

            Wow that does sound delicious! 😋

            (also makes me hungry for Taco Bell’s mexican pizzas LOL)

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 24, 2024 at 12:38 am | #

      Game of Thrones themed party! I love running game of thrones D&D games so it seems appropriate.

      • Laura
        Laura
        January 24, 2024 at 12:59 am | #

        How fun! I love theme parties — with games and costumes!

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 24, 2024 at 2:34 am | #

          Theme parties are the best!

    • Dara
      Dara
      January 24, 2024 at 12:54 am | #

      You mean other than Donald Trump convicted and in prison?

      Well, realistically, a linear rail kit for my (already heavily customised) 3D printer, or better yet, some kind of towed cargo carrier for my eBike. I keep looking for a used/damaged/out-of-date baby carrier that I can retrofit but haven’t had any luck with that, and I’ve already built as much on-frame cargo as I legitimately can.

      In category “we can’t afford this (but it’s not insane to think of them as gifts)” in order of cost: a new graphics card OR a multifilament 3D printer OR a full-on cargo eBike 😀

      • Laura
        Laura
        January 24, 2024 at 1:01 am | #

        Oh, yeah, well, the first wish is one we ALL share!

        Those other wishes sound real cool, too. Good luck making them come true in the ways that work for you!

        My late partner was big on retrofitting baby carriers and building cargo bikes. It was his passion. …Thank you for that sweet bit of nostalgia.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 24, 2024 at 3:27 am | #

      Some kind of incredibly intense psychedelic drug, maybe? Idk, I wanna see some weird shit before I die.

      • Laura
        Laura
        January 24, 2024 at 9:10 am | #

        Rock on!

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 24, 2024 at 11:11 am | #

          What’s the worst that could happen, right? Nobody’s losing much in any outcome.

    • morleuca
      morleuca
      January 24, 2024 at 5:12 am | #

      Go swimming

      • Laura
        Laura
        January 24, 2024 at 9:08 am | #

        Delightful! I haven’t swum in so long. Good luck!

        I’d love to swim in a heated saltwater pool. Soothe these achy joints…

  22. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    January 24, 2024 at 12:23 am | #

    Honestly, he’s maybe being overly optimistic, but I think less so than people might expect. At the very least, he’s looking at it the way he needs to in order to keep any kind of relationship with his parents.

    • Coatl
      Coatl
      January 24, 2024 at 12:30 am | #

      He is seeing the results of what he did and it is obvious that the consequences are inevitable, the fifth panel makes it very clear.

      Which means that now if or if he should set a clear objective, let’s hope that Sal can help, I mean, it’s the only option he really has.

  23. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    January 24, 2024 at 12:26 am | #

    Yeah I feel the same way, Walky. I wanna hope people eventually come around and be like “Yeah I was being a dick, sorry.” But that’s cuz I’m always analyzing myself and being like “Yeah I was being a dick” at all times every day.

    • Bash
      Bash
      January 24, 2024 at 1:33 am | #

      It sounds like this is played up for humor, but I doubt you were being a dick as much as you think. You seem like a very compassionate and well-meaning person in your comments. Maybe you said something a little awkward, but everyone does that.

    • Mturtle7
      Mturtle7
      January 24, 2024 at 1:02 pm | #

      I’ve always had the tendency to assume that everyone around me is trying their best, so I shouldn’t judge them. Lately, a dear friend of mine has made a lot of progress in convincing me that I REALLY, REALLY, need to extend that same courtesy to myself! It’s a pretty damn good feeling when I do that. 10/10, would recommend.
      Now I just need to work on the next step of actually having the strength to judge people who are genuinely being a**holes, like Linda. It’s tricky.

  24. BBCC
    BBCC
    January 24, 2024 at 12:39 am | #

    I hope for your sake that that works out for you, Walky.

    • Coatl
      Coatl
      January 24, 2024 at 12:42 am | #

      Yes, many have been satisfied with what Walky did (myself included), but we are talking about WALKY, so it is really important that he really learns to know how to measure his words.

      • Archieve
        Archieve
        January 24, 2024 at 1:37 am | #

        I thinks it would be better if Walky thinks of this as investing in relationship repair with his sister and not fixing his parents. He doesn’t seem to fully comprehend that they don’t really respect him and without respect it’s not realistic for his parents to take his words seriously.

  25. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    January 24, 2024 at 12:54 am | #

    Christmas card money is a more realistic prospect at this point.

    Still I can imagine Charles sending a birthday check and a note to keep it a secret from his wife.

  26. Francoinblanco
    Francoinblanco
    January 24, 2024 at 12:56 am | #

    When I think about it, I don’t know if it was played well. apart from the validity of the accusations, at the end of the visit there should not be a discussion at the door saying “btw you’re a racist.” without a calm discussion, mental shortcuts will arise. There are already comments above predicting how Linda will interpret this conversation

    • Bash
      Bash
      January 24, 2024 at 1:31 am | #

      Walky was never going to do it perfectly. I think the main question is whether this is beter than saying nothing.

      • DashWallkick
        DashWallkick
        January 24, 2024 at 6:11 am | #

        Yeah, as Sal has said before – “Bro tries, but he’s not very good at being supportive.” that he did it at all is a huge win.

    • Chubsius
      Chubsius
      January 24, 2024 at 1:51 am | #

      I’m not sure a calm discussion was ever possible. Linda flipped out at Sal just for showing up alone. She shouts at her children in the middle of restaurants. I don’t think there’s a world where they could sit Linda down and have a calm, rational discussion about this. I do think the twins did a good job of saying what they needed to say without being dragged into fight over it. I think their only hope in the long run is repetition and unity so they can confront Linda from multiple angles and drill their points home.

      • Archieve
        Archieve
        January 24, 2024 at 2:11 am | #

        Yeah I think given what’s already been said their best option is calm acknowledgemt without escalation into screaming matches so that Linda doesn’t get to feel validated by their “irrationality” and feel justified in retaliation as others fear now.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          January 24, 2024 at 6:43 pm | #

          Also, as Walky acknowledged here, it was hopeless to convince her. He wasn’t saying it to convince her. He said it mainly so that he’d know he didn’t stand silent.

    • James
      James
      January 24, 2024 at 3:32 pm | #

      Putting it on the victims and people without power to approach this kind of thing perfectly is certainly a take of some kind of temperature.

  27. Thomas
    Thomas
    January 24, 2024 at 1:01 am | #

    He is an April fool.
    Deluded about Daddy Tool.
    He is crazy about his mommy & daddy.
    Oh, he believes in them.
    He is an April fool.
    Daddy, Daddy Tool.

    • Thomas
      Thomas
      January 24, 2024 at 1:32 am | #

      She had no heart at all.
      No no no heart at all.
      She was the meanest cat.
      For she was really tough.
      She left her husband flat.
      He wasn’t though enough.

      Ma ma ma ma, Ma Walker.
      She never could cry.

      • Thomas
        Thomas
        January 24, 2024 at 2:42 am | #

        Ma ma ma ma, Ma Walker.
        But she knew how to lie…

  28. Archieve
    Archieve
    January 24, 2024 at 1:33 am | #

    Oh Walky, your parents still haven’t come to an epithany about how they treated a child trying to raise money for their disabled friend five years ago. it’s going to take longer then a few months, if at all.

    • Mturtle7
      Mturtle7
      January 24, 2024 at 1:05 pm | #

      Let the boy dream! He just completely exhausted the underdeveloped “realistic and sensible” portion of his brain by having this conversation with Linda at all; he deserves to briefly indulge in little illusions like these.

  29. Wendy
    Wendy
    January 24, 2024 at 2:05 am | #

    Panels 2 and 6 have some really nice angles of Walky’s face that I don’t recall Willis drawing that often.

    That aside, Walky’s train of thought here is interesting to me. I’ve seen quite a few people say things along the lines of what he’s describing: “Sure, I USED to be a little racist, but I’m DEFINITELY NOT anymore!”

    I think a lot of such people tend not to realize that self-reflection has to be like, an ongoing thing. And that condemning your past self just to shield your present self from scrutiny means you don’t want to actually BE a better person, you just want to get credit for being better than you actually are.

    Anyway, I guess time will tell as to whether Walky’s parents will ever even progress to that level in the first place.

    • DashWallkick
      DashWallkick
      January 24, 2024 at 6:50 am | #

      Self-reflection is definitely a thing, but it’s hard to cope with embarrassment and shame of who you used to be at any age. This is why the old memetic of your brain being a prick and throwing a memory of you embarrassing yourself exists. You’re walking along, having a good day, then suddenly — hey, remember when you were hitting it off with that girl and you said THIS? Well guess what! And now your whole body is cringing and you want to die and you’re trying to think of song lyrics and your favorite movie to try and overwrite your memory storage.

      • StClair
        StClair
        January 24, 2024 at 9:18 pm | #

        Mine works in both directions. I’m often embarrassed by ignorant things I have said and thought in the past, and quite certain I will do so in the future as well.

    • NGPZ
      NGPZ
      January 24, 2024 at 5:34 pm | #

      “Sure, I USED to be a little racist, but I’m DEFINITELY NOT anymore!”

      Yuuup definitely part of the racism denialist step-ladder, people who talk like this don’t see themselves as flawed individuals with a long way still to go — they see themselves as having already arrived at the destination everyone else needs to get to, mistaking their privilege as living proof that the systemic racism is that which can easily and painlessly be opted out of. (-_-)

  30. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    January 24, 2024 at 2:05 am | #

    I like the head pose and hands in panel 2. Makes what would be a repetitive strip dynamic.

  31. AbacusWizard
    AbacusWizard
    January 24, 2024 at 2:08 am | #

    Dumbing of Age, Book 17: Shuttin’ Down in Shame after Readin’ My Old Internet Posts

  32. Thrair
    Thrair
    January 24, 2024 at 2:28 am | #

    One thing I’ll toss out into the wind. Linda’s a racist and rather self-centered… but not a monster. Don’t equate her with someone like Blaine for a hit of righteous rage.

    I have family who firmly believe anyone who provides an abortion is a murderer and earnestly believe women need protection from being providing them… rather than it being a woman having some basic bodily autonomy.

    I have a 2nd cousin who is otherwise very progressive and tolerant of faith/creed/sexuality, but came back from Iraq deeply bigoted towards Muslims.

    I have an Uncle who believes vaccines are dangerous and cause autism, but flu shots are safe because we’ve used them for so long.

    Everyone is flawed. Some very deeply. You can think in absolutes if you wish and draw hard lines in the sand for every issue, writing people off entirely if they fail even one…. but I for one don’t have it in me to live and die alone.

    People often have inexcusable beliefs or flaws. But that means only that we should not EXCUSE them for their flaws – We should, after all, call them on their bullshit.

    But there are very few things that are sufficient on their own to make someone a monster. To damn them as irredeemable and write off any good they may have.

    It’s a good idea to pick one’s battles. And I for one have a weary mistrust of crusaders.

    • Imogen
      Imogen
      January 24, 2024 at 2:52 am | #

      I don’t wholly disagree, but I’m also a little skeptical about this comic’s interest in messy, nuanced villains lately. I think it’s Oops! All Blaines.

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        January 24, 2024 at 10:08 am | #

        I think the commentariat decides every character with flaws is worse than Blaine. I don’t see them presented that way in the comic.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 24, 2024 at 11:21 am | #

          At this point, I’m not even sure any actual commenters are truthfully painting the characters as villains, or being certain ways about certain characters. I think people are just making up guys to argue against and nebulously claiming it’s being talked about by somebody else.

          None of you can sue me for saying this, because I’m not calling out anyone specific, it’s satire, it’s just my opinion, it’s not legally actionable, it’s a social experiment, it’s a prank, it was for a bit.

          • HueSatLight
            HueSatLight
            January 24, 2024 at 3:59 pm | #

            was going to mention a specific from today’s commentary, but didn’t want to stir shit that much.

            • Bryy
              Bryy
              January 24, 2024 at 6:21 pm | #

              For me, personally, this is how I rank the Villains (updated for being alive):

              1) Ryan(?): Tried to rape Joyce, tried to kill Dorothy and Amber
              2) Mary: Knowingly tried to push gay and trans students to suicide (I know, I know, I did say earlier that she was harmless)
              3) Carol: Is perfectly okay with people dying if it protects her church
              4) Linda: Racist, hates her own child, trying to kick an abused kid out of school
              5) Cliff: Gaslighting Ruth about her own emotions towards her parents
              VERY DISTANT 6) Raidah: Trying to destroy Joyce and Sarah because she views them as lesser

              • NGPZ
                NGPZ
                January 24, 2024 at 9:47 pm | #

                Yeah that checks out.

                Don’t forget that Linda also stole money that would have gone to Marcie’s surgery.

        • HueSatLight
          HueSatLight
          January 24, 2024 at 4:08 pm | #

          I want to amend this. There are some characters a lot of people love to hate, and they’re treated that way. But there’s at least one character who has done very villainous things, and a lot of people love to love that character because they also have some positive and endearing qualities, so the villainous things are spoke of as good.
          So not every character with flaws.

      • DashWallkick
        DashWallkick
        January 24, 2024 at 5:03 pm | #

        That’s your ability to parse fiction working. You see someone depicted to be a dick, and you go, oh they’re terrible, they’re such a villain, and they get categorized in your brain as such. Meanwhile most of the cast have been colossal pricks one time or another but they get the “oh well they’re struggling and have a rough upbringing” because they’re the ones we like.

        Linda absolutely has reasons why she is the way she is and she’s an asshole and her stubbornness makes her an *antagonist* but she’s nowhere near the level of Blaine or even Joyce’s mom. Controlling, abusive, self-absorbed parents come in gradients.

    • Chubsius
      Chubsius
      January 24, 2024 at 3:22 am | #

      I get where you’re coming from, though I think you’re underselling what Sal went through at home, and what she when through from being sent away and isolated. I don’t think anyone’s comparing her to Blaine, but try this one on for size: Linda’s desire to control her children is not that dissimilar from Toedad’s desire to reclaim Becky. Different methods and beliefs, but the desire for absolute control is the same. I genuinely fear what Linda’s revenge might be. She could do so much worse than cut off Walky’s funding. She could target Lucy or Amber. She could get Walky and Amber expelled over the grades hacking. She could use threats of these things to extort Walky into doing what she wants. Like Sal’s motorcycle, Linda banks stuff for future ammunition.

    • Amelie Wikström
      Amelie Wikström
      January 24, 2024 at 3:34 am | #

      As Aryndathi Roy puts it, the choice is to reach out to each other in imperfect solidarity or isolate ourselves in bunkers of unsurpassed ideological righteousness.

      But that only works with people who want solidarity. You’re talking about people who think human rights aren’t for everyone, who want different rules for Us and Them. Maybe we can hope your family never decides you’re one of Them, but really, it sounds like you’re only safe as long as you don’t try too hard to hold these people accountable for the things they say and do.

      Me, I have exactly two people in my life who tolerate me being unemployable, autistic and transgender. I’ve been alone maybe 99.5% of the time since 2004 and it’s not because I want to, but I can tell you I like it better than having my friend drag me to all night white supremacist music appreciation parties.

      See, I used to have a friend, but after I tried to talk to him about his hate for immigrants twice over fifteen years he cut me out of his life and it turns out I’m better off. You’ve got several people to try this with; I recommend at least one. See how much it changes things for you.

      • eh, whatever
        eh, whatever
        January 24, 2024 at 5:41 am | #

        Arundhati

        • Amelie Wikström
          Amelie Wikström
          January 24, 2024 at 6:27 am | #

          That’s right, thanks.

      • Thrair
        Thrair
        January 25, 2024 at 3:05 am | #

        Well… you’ve had a very hard life, from the sounds of it. One I can’t truly relate to, I fear. Not enough shared background/experiences. I’m on the spectrum, but that’s it.

        But at the risk of presuming, I’d say you’re very resilient and remain an idealist. Admirable traits, but you may be projecting them somewhat – especially the resilience – with how casually you’re suggesting cutting ties with people.

        I tried what you’ve suggested when I was younger and less cynical. It was isolating in a way that nearly broke me. Came a lot closer to doing something I wouldn’t be around to undo than I’d care to admit.

        I managed to claw my way back from that point, am much happier for it. But I just don’t have the fight left in me to remain a crusader. While I will still cut out the worst people from my life, I tolerate a lot if there’s at least *some* good in them.

        ….Dammit. I respect you. World needs more people like you. But I intend no offense when I say I don’t want to be one of them. I’d rather just keep my little corner of the world a happy place in what way I can.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      January 24, 2024 at 10:58 am | #

      I kept seeing people use physical harm as their meter and Linda’s bullshit has physically crippled Sal and the racist institutions Linda represents thematically/supports diagetically took Marcie’s voice and put her assaulter in an Ivy League school.

      I’d rather not make “Who’s the worst parent?” comparisons but if we are by every metric Linda is “up there” with Carol and Blaine.

    • A
      A
      January 24, 2024 at 11:00 am | #

      “I have family who firmly believe anyone who provides an abortion is a murderer and earnestly believe women need protection from being providing them… rather than it being a woman having some basic bodily autonomy.”
      —
      Where the fuck do you think that, “women need to be protected from doctors who give them basic healthcare that we think is wrong,” comes from? That is, quite literally, the definition of taking away a woman’s basic bodily autonomy. It is firmly rooted in the belief that women are incapable of making their own decisions regarding their own bodies. You are living in entitled ignorance if you think it is, as you said, NOT about women’s basic bodily autonomy. Misogynistic laws and rules stem from misogyny, just like racist and all other bigoted ones do.

      The fact that you live in this bubble that they are not worth writing off seems very clearly stemmed in you not ever having to be the direct victim of their bigoted and harmful views, so of course you say they are not past redemption. That is a privilege, as many cannot “look past” direct harassment and abuse from those who would take their basic human rights away, including so often their own family. You will do what you will with your life, but don’t think that makes you any better than those who choose to cut out the toxic ties that bind, for their own health and growth.

      People to be wary of are the ones who stand by and do nothing or supposedly, sometimes, “call them out on their bullshit,” since it doesn’t directly harm those outside of the bigot’s purview, not the “crusaders,” who actively go against the power, regardless of whether its hate is directed at them.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        January 24, 2024 at 11:23 am | #

        Speak English, fucker

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 24, 2024 at 11:23 am | #

          Wrong comment. Damn it.

      • Li
        Li
        January 24, 2024 at 6:50 pm | #

        FYI you misread Thrair, I’m pretty sure. Thrair is the one who thinks abortion IS about women’s basic bodily autonomy, it’s the family members in question who think it ISN’T.

        (Also, you might be right about Thrair in specific, or you might not be, but I would generally caution against assuming that everyone who’s not cutting even egregious bigots out of their lives is doing so because they have the privilege to not be impacted by that bigotry. Sometimes the shittiness we overlook harms us directly, and we overlook it for all kinds of other reasons. “Keeping the peace” is sometimes a continually personally painful process, and not everyone does it from within a bubble.)

        • Thrair
          Thrair
          January 25, 2024 at 3:11 am | #

          Yeah. I strongly support abortion as a right. I just have family who don’t.

          Can’t say I like A’s argument (not the least because they misunderstood mine). But they’re not wholly wrong. Touched on it in a reply to Amelie. I don’t fight for what’s right as much as I used to.

          But I’ve become cynical. If people like Linda can be changed, it’s not by me. Didn’t succeed once.

          • Li
            Li
            January 25, 2024 at 6:58 pm | #

            Heh, well. I try not to assume I know exactly what it’s like in someone else’s shoes. That includes not assuming whatever battles they’re fighting would be easier for me than the ones I’m already fighting. I also try to keep in mind the advice that you’ve gotta put your own oxygen mask on first.

            If I may, it sounds like you burned yourself out pretty bad, and you haven’t yet had enough recovery time to be able to try again. That’s value-neutral. We need the time to recover and heal that we need.

            Also imho tough love works best from people who know us, and is fairly ineffective on total strangers.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 24, 2024 at 11:29 am | #

      No. Discard everyone in your life for any reason and at any cost. Do not exercise any form of self preservation, even if it’s measured in accordance with your living conditions. It’s Privilege, Actually™ to not starve to death in the cold if you’re in a suboptimal situation and the alternative is having to put up with a crappy relative/roommate/significant other. No middle ground, you either isolate yourself from the impure or else you’re one of them.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 24, 2024 at 11:49 am | #

      Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug.

    • C.T. Phipps
      C.T. Phipps
      January 24, 2024 at 5:17 pm | #

      I mean, Linda robbed $500 dollars from a charity for a mute girl’s surgery.

      She stole from a charity.

      She IS a monster.

      • Bryy
        Bryy
        January 24, 2024 at 7:06 pm | #

        oh god link?

        • Schpoonman
          Schpoonman
          January 24, 2024 at 8:33 pm | #

          She didn’t directly steal from a charity, but stole Sal’s $700 she’d saved up for Marcie’s surgery.

          • Amelie Wikström
            Amelie Wikström
            January 24, 2024 at 9:01 pm | #

            Linda stole $700 from her thirteen year old child, and pretty much the next day Sal robbed two convenience stores. Linda I’m sure has never thought those two things were connected in any way, but I submit stealing from your children tends to have even worse effects than stealing from charity.

            • C.T. Phipps
              C.T. Phipps
              January 24, 2024 at 9:48 pm | #

              I mean Sal didn’t think that money was for her, it was for Marcie.

  33. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    January 24, 2024 at 3:06 am | #

    oh no, no money for birthday, what worse thing could possibly happen /o\

    • anon
      anon
      January 25, 2024 at 12:23 am | #

      lol i imagine he’d get nothing or some ‘passive aggressive’ gift like “40 dollars was donated in your name to ___ group that helps out pocs/minorities in struggling communities”

  34. morhek
    morhek
    January 24, 2024 at 3:51 am | #

    Walky, I appreciate the attempt at a Batman Gambit, but in order to pull one off you have to BE Batman. And even Batman isn’t always good at it.

    • eh, whatever
      eh, whatever
      January 24, 2024 at 5:40 am | #

      Always be Batman.

      • JBento
        JBento
        January 24, 2024 at 6:09 am | #

        #lifehack

    • Mark
      Mark
      January 24, 2024 at 8:19 pm | #

      Hey, he could become Batman. There’s a book on how to do it.

      • Clif
        Clif
        January 24, 2024 at 11:06 pm | #

        Is there?

  35. GUIGUI
    GUIGUI
    January 24, 2024 at 4:01 am | #

    Here is for the most useless comment of all, but this means that sal and Walky were conceived during summer vacations.

  36. DashWallkick
    DashWallkick
    January 24, 2024 at 6:10 am | #

    I am being laser targeted by panels 3 and 4 here. Goodbye. I’m going to be avoiding eye contact until the comic updates again.

  37. Steamweed
    Steamweed
    January 24, 2024 at 7:02 am | #

    *pats Walky on the head, feeds him some comfort Nachitos

  38. Zamperla
    Zamperla
    January 24, 2024 at 8:36 am | #

    Man. That’d be nice, Walky. That’d be nice.

  39. Felian
    Felian
    January 24, 2024 at 9:33 am | #

    Walky’s very on point here with the “past me” stuff!
    Being embarrassed at PastYou decisions means one thing: growth! You grew into a person who understands why PastYou’s behaviour was wrong. You don’t have to (or can) make it unhappen, but, let me end on a Terry Pratchett quote here, “The good thing about being embarrassed is that one day, you won’t be, but you’ll remember that you were.”. Keep moving forward.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 24, 2024 at 11:38 am | #

      Yeah, everything you’ve ever done in your entire life has been a complete fuck-up and a tragic mistake, and you should be ashamed and embarrassed of it 24/7 or you’re not growing. Growth means constantly feeling bad for every little thing you’ve ever so much as thought in passing.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 24, 2024 at 11:51 am | #

        Stop wiretapping my inner monologue.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 24, 2024 at 12:01 pm | #

          No way, this is cash money in the bank once I get enough of it to fill a self-help book

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 24, 2024 at 11:29 pm | #

            I wonder if inner monologues are born copyrighted.

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        January 24, 2024 at 3:54 pm | #

        My hobby is collecting regrets from younger me that mortify me decades later.

  40. Yeet
    Yeet
    January 24, 2024 at 10:45 am | #

    I know linda’s not here but fuck you, linda
    you fucked up a perfectly good kid
    look at him, he has a perfectly reasonable fear you’re going to boot him out of college
    and also adhd probably

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 24, 2024 at 3:11 pm | #

      Linda did not fuck up a perfectly good kid.

      She fucked up two perfectly good kids, and was complicit in fucking up at least one more.

    • Archieve
      Archieve
      January 24, 2024 at 4:01 pm | #

      Im sure Linda would brush off the possibility of adhd no mater rge diagnosis because that would mean she’d have to acknowledge she never paid thst close attention to him.

  41. John Campbell
    John Campbell
    January 24, 2024 at 11:13 am | #

    My headcanon is that Sal’s just enough older that she was born late on March 31st. But the family’s always celebrated on Walky’s birthday.

    • Mturtle7
      Mturtle7
      January 24, 2024 at 1:10 pm | #

      Sadly plausible as a headcanon.

      Also, they always give them presents marked “to David and Sally”, but always pushed Walky to be the one who opens them. And they’re exclusively tailored to Walky’s interests, not Sal’s.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 24, 2024 at 3:10 pm | #

        One year they each got to unwrap a present.

        Walky’s was a playset, Sal’s was accessories for Walky’s playset.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      January 24, 2024 at 1:17 pm | #

      And she didn’t even know until there was some confusion with a school nurse in elementary school.

  42. Smooti
    Smooti
    January 24, 2024 at 7:43 pm | #

    Walky: possibly the healthiest character mentally right now?

    Besides like, Booster and Charlie. They’re doing great

  43. Uly
    Uly
    January 24, 2024 at 8:12 pm | #

    I’ve thought about this all day, and I think you’re all missing a point. Linda needs her kids at odds. Whatever she does about Amber, she’ll punish Walky by threatening Sal’s tuition.

  44. Mark
    Mark
    January 24, 2024 at 8:22 pm | #

    Hey, Walky: alternative take: “every day in every way I’m getting better and better.”

  45. Laura
    Laura
    January 24, 2024 at 10:10 pm | #

    …^Raise your hand^ if you’re exhausted?

    • Laura
      Laura
      January 24, 2024 at 10:11 pm | #

      ^raised.^

  46. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    January 24, 2024 at 11:00 pm | #

    no one will notice, but as due warning, I have been SLAMMED with con crud (which is actually more likely incubated whatever my cubicle neighbour had when he was coughing up a lung, UNMASKED, shortly before MAGFest) so anyway that’s why I’m not FIRSTing for a hot minute

    since I know SOME of you ask, I just don’t feel up to midnight EST (+server drift minutes)

    • Kazuma Taichi
      Kazuma Taichi
      January 24, 2024 at 11:16 pm | #

      I noticed simply because when I tune in, if you’re not within the first 3 comments I usually run a quick ctrl+f, and I just happened to not check my webcomics until 21:30 my time which is probly 23:30 server time if server’s EST

      • Kazuma Taichi
        Kazuma Taichi
        January 24, 2024 at 11:17 pm | #

        oh wow, those server drift minutes aren’t minor change, that’s a whole ass 10 minutes
        I rounded but this is actually 21:28 that I’m clicking post now

    • Clif
      Clif
      January 24, 2024 at 11:32 pm | #

      Hope you’re feeling better soon.

      • Thrair
        Thrair
        January 25, 2024 at 3:25 am | #

        Aye. Get well soon. May your phlegm soon be as pure as a shot of Everclear. Something which may also help make it so. 🙂

        Also, I’m replying to Clif and not Hue because if someone takes the last comment spot from Hue, it won’t be me. They should keep that spot.

        • Skorpeyon
          Skorpeyon
          January 26, 2024 at 10:34 am | #

          I am now upset that I posted without having read the entire thread. 🙁

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      January 24, 2024 at 11:56 pm | #

      Last comment achievement though.

    • Skorpeyon
      Skorpeyon
      January 26, 2024 at 10:32 am | #

      I literally went back through the comments to find this out because I’m so used to seeing you at the top of the comments and just noticed you weren’t lately. Hope you feel better soon!

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