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NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! 🤯
www.theguardian.com/science/2025...
Patrick Willems @patrickhwillems.bsky.social ⋅ 1m
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️𝓝𝓪𝓷𝓲 
Dina, you should be adding “Ah-ah-ah!” after each count.
Nah, she was far more likely to be watching Barny the Dinosaur.
She even knows that one song on the piano ^^
She tried watching Eureeka’s Castle once, but changed the channel when she realized Magellan is a dragon.
*plays “99” by Mob Choir on hacked muzak*
hell yea
*sign with counter that reads “009 FUCKS SINCE LAST DAY”*
alt:
Joyce’s new superhero name: Can’t Stop Fucking
Oh my god is this panel a reference to your avatar or did you somehow access the future
Preview on Willis’s Tumblr, I believe.
Don’t forget, Willis’ superpower is about 6 months worth of advance comics
SEVEN, DAMMIT
You leveled up?
Yesterday or the day before, yeah. er… Fuck yeah.
Not a level up so much as an ongoing effect that boosts his stats more. You know, a buff-er.
Nice! Thanks for the chuckle.
So, until what? Next Friday in comic time.
God DAMN that’s a lot of comics in the buffer.
I stand corrected, Maestro
Dina is going to set up a microphone just to have a total tally of every time Joyce has said fuck.
Well, I hope she is.
I wonder if she’ll inform Joe about how much he owes Joyce for all the fucks XD
For you, the day Joyce said ‘fuck’ was the most important day of your life.
But for her, it was Tuesday.
Quick! Change the channel!
For at least some of us, it’s also Tuesday in real life. That’s well-timed.
Holy fuck you’re right
Holy Fuck is a good band.
Well, fuck. Look at that fucking coincidence
She’s passed Dorothy for f-bomb to appearance ratio.
But I thought there was no spoon.
It is not the spoon that stirs, only yourself.
Yeah, I know that. That’s why I want a spoon. This soup is burning my fingers.
There is a spoon, but it’s too big.
Well if someone’s anus is bleeding, they better get to the campus health center.
_Captain America I Understood That Reference dot GIF_
Is it a reference to Michonne and The Governor in The Walking Dead comics? If not, then I don’t get it.
“I don’t know you any more, Joyce!”
Joyce is allowed to change, and yet, remain.
holy crow, she’s goin’ for the high score!
Definitely looks like she’s trying to make up for lost time.
dang speedrunning her way up to the top 10 xD
More likely than you think,
given the Alt-text, this is literally gonna be like that one episode of Spongebob where he learns a “sentence enhancer”
XD
“Hey, Sal, how the fuck are ya?”
“Pretty fucking good, Joyce.”
“Dorothy I’m making some fucking Mac and Cheese served in a creamy fucking sauce, my special, orange fucking perfection. And don’t forget to ask me to fuck the cheese. It will be my fucking pleasure!”
Sounds like that one episode of Abenobashi Magical Shopping Street where they end up in “America”.
“Are you sure it isn’t time for a colorful metaphor?”
Somewhere, something just exploded. Wonder who still hasn’t cussed that isn’t a supporting character…
Book 14: My Individuality Remains a Bulwark Against the Crushing Tide of the ████ Cosmos
Amazi-Girl, if she counts as not a supporting character.
Jacob’s the only character on the cast page not on John’s f-bomb count page.
Does Galasso count as a supporting character? Because he doesn’t seem like a supportive kind of person.
FOOL! Everything else supports GALASSO!!!
hmmmmm that’s two really good book titles
Yes! I couldn’t decide which I liked more!
I feel called out here.
oh no, she’s M Bisoning
Yes! Yyyessss!!!!”
Usually I forget the closing quotations, that’s a new one for me.
catching up, one end quotation mark at a time”
“Yes, yes, I killed your parents. What is with you, anyway? I killed my parents, too, but you don’t hear me whining about it!”
Somebody really needs to get Professor Brock some therapy and a hug. This has rapidly gone from appearing to be simply a nihilistic philosophy occasionally rearing its head during class to clearly being a full on cry for help no student seems to be picking up on.
he’s the Galasso of the biology lab,
and great fan game material
I do feel Professor Brock needs attention, but only positive. He is correct about everything, all the time
Do … Do you need that hug?
PS. Fan game material?! Do you have something new in the work, NGPZ?
I sure hope I will soon?
Also, I could sure use that hug, given I’m gonna be crying in bed for the next week or so.
note to self: when shadow-Trumper grandparents invite you over, never go no matter how guilty they try to make you feel. never worth it T_T
I am sorry about your grandparents – family sure can suck sometimes. I do hope you feel better soon.
Awe thanks
🫂
I understand that anyone can struggle with mental health, and I’m not trying to stigmatize it. But I don’t know if its the students’ job to pick up on cries for help. Perhaps if he had a breakdown in class, or rapidly changed his personality. But he’s always been like this. Are the students supposed to report him to someone? Surely its not appropriate for them to offer emotional support to someone in a position of authority over them. I really think that is the place of friends, family, or maybe colleagues on even footing.
Yeah I agree, that falls solidly outside the student’s area of responsibility.
More like “if you see something, say something.” Friends, family or colleagues may need to know about things they haven’t seen, to discover that they are needed.
Or, they might say, “oh, he’s all right, been like that since middle school” and his students can go back to just putting up with it.
I think he just enjoys the power to shatter other people’s illusions.
it was only a matter of time
This was literally me, down to the $20.
Butts Disease has spread to Texas:
“Conservative-dominated court restores books to school libraries in case spurred by titles containing ‘butt’ and ‘fart’”
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/jun/09/texas-books-butt-fart-appeals-court
I wonder if they added _How to Shit in the Woods_.
That one is hung up with the whole “Men versus Bears” hoorah.
‘an appellate court has ruled that Texas cannot ban books from libraries simply because officials “dislike the idea contained in those books”.’
A surprisingly profound quote from a url containing “butt-fart”.
Now I’m just waiting for the tenth fuck to trigger something horrible.
Huh, Dina doesn’t use one her thumb when she counts and only bends half her finger down to ignore that tally. That is interesting, I know different people and cultures use their hands differently when counting, but I’ve never seen somebody do it that way. Have any of you?
She does use her thumb, as can be seen by comparing the first and third panels. And bending your pinkie all the way down without also bending your ring finger is really difficult.
Speaking of different people using their hands differently when counting, this is about the point where I’d have switched to binary in anticipation of needing more range than I have fingers.
Binary’s easy, been doing it since undergrad days. 31 on one hand, 1023 using both, and the sky’s the limit if you’re one of those freaks who can control their toes individually. (do they even exist?)
Ternary, though. Yikes.
Just don’t get misunderstood on the four.
Or, considering my avatar – do. It doesn’t actually matter.
Or 20.
Brings new meaning to the nursery rhyme…
4 & 20 black birds baked in a pie (of fucks).
132!
Or 4228, if you’re Ultra-Car.
Next up, Joyce will have sex
eightnine times, and it will still only be a Tuesday, instead of the world ending.Hopefully Dina will not be there to count.
On the other hand, Walky might be.
But Bloomington will be in ruins.
Doc’s next line: and to whoever left the jug of alcohol here, thanks. It’s been that sort of week. But don’t expect a change in grade.
Won’t this get him in trouble like Jason?
Probably not. Doc seems like The Tenured Professor Who Was Out Of Shits To Give Long Before You Were Even Born. (Tenure allows the rest of the title.)
Not sure “hey thanks for the booze, you will not be getting preferential treatment” is anywhere near the same level as having sex with a student you are privately tutoring and have a power dynamic with.
Like, they’re college students, not children. They can hear about a professor having a drink and a bad week.
Nobody can get in trouble like Jason
Hey now. Don’t go underestimating Robin.
Very good Joyce! Let’s get some quotes of that British tv show with eyebrow doctor and his foul mouth.
Here we go!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjD7DT5TxIs&rco=1
The Thick of It with Dr Who actor Peter Capaldi.
Fucking age-restricted!!!
Alternately: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Blf073f2Lc
I feel like this professor is exactly the right person to have around for this phase of self discovery. He won’t be cruel, he’ll situate everything in the proper perspective.
Dina doing good research here; keeping count of every f-bomb is important for the history books.
“I AM THE ONE WHO FUCKS!”
Ah yes, a prelude to no longer being the girl who never fucks.
The Fuckingjay, even.
Amazing.
Quoting Eric Cartman?
“Barbra Streisand!”
I feel like ‘consciousness is an illusion’ is more of a philosophy class thing than science but lol
Tho imagine the cosmic timing if there had been like, some earthquake or some bs like that in the middle of her swearing
Just for those with short memories/mammaries:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boobquake
Only it would be Fuckquake in this universe.
It did shake the foundations of perversely moral organizations.
Never forget the Rochester 7.
https://rocwiki.org/Rochester_Topfree_Seven
Joyce has always been a caring person.
She’s certainly got a lot of ████s to give today.
She’s the one who says “bulwark” now though.
Had to look for the word in the dictionary.
“Hypocrite that you are, for you trust the chemicals in your brain to tell you they are chemicals. All knowledge is ultimately based on that which we cannot prove. Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?”
But read In Mickey Mouse
And yet, a further problem of his concern, is that just because something is derived from another thing, does not exist. For his reasoning, chemicals would not exist, only atoms, but atoms would not exist, only fermions and bosons, and so on until only planck-sized units exist, at which point all of current science is but a vague notion, which would include the idea of planck-sizes, and therefore, nothing exists. But all of this is dependent on assumptions we have made and rejection of assumptions we have made using… something. And so, we must assume that something makes these assumptions and dismisses them. And although we may not know the medium on which it exists, we know that this thing… this thinking consciousness… exists in order to make these assumptions and dismissals. Therefore, the consciousness, even if nothing else does, must exist.
Physically, only 17 quantum fields exist within a state of superposition inside a relativistic spacetime whose geometric curvature is determined by the evolving state of those same quantum fields. All else is an illusion. Consciousness, specifically, is an illusion based on perceiving a flawed and constructed, mostly inaccurate, internal model of oneself as being oneself.
Lest one seize on the word “oneself,” selfness, and even objecthood, is a merely a somewhat arbitrary division of the universe based on an imperfect statistical independence between internal and external evolution of the quantum fields. Such independence is usually of limited duration.
What do they teach kids nowdays?
I mean I guess most of the machinery in the body are proteins, it’s just weird to hear them… Firing? I get that Willis isn’t a molecular biologist but I’ve never heard receptor-agonist signalling referred to as firing, usually the “firing” discussed here is neurons, and is more about action potential converting electrical signalling to chemical signalling than the end chemical signals binding to certain receptors (which could certainly be called proteins for sure.) also would not be accurate to say they misfire either since at least 90% of them are doing the job they’re meant to do, misfiring is a disease pathology. *Pushes glasses up nose*
See, if you’d paid more attention in Philosophy you’d understand that the world is trash and everything in it is just wrong, so, firing is misfiring.
Well her misfiring proteins are firing the fuck word!
… so does Joe now owe her another 160$?
Nope the $20 was only for the first time.
Fires up “You Want A Single” by Korn.
http://www.ci-n.com/~jcampbel/doafbombcount.php
I love how quickly Joyce rose the ranks in just 2 days (seconds in comic time).
(I don’t know who made this counter, but it’s awesome! You are awesome!)
It says who did it right in the URL, forum commenter John Campbell. And I have to ask if that was the same John Campbell I worked with in Pennan Inc.?
I’m not. It’s a pretty common name. I’ve personally known three others. That doesn’t include Golden Age SF editor John W. Campbell.
One of them I went to junior high with. I had one class with him and me and another John C. and a John M. We had a substitute one day. We almost all got sent to the office because she thought we were messing with her.
I’m also not T. Campbell.
Would you considder making the second chart a percentage? I think that would better indicate a normalization. It would also make it easier to comprehend.
I’m not getting rid of the non-reduced fraction; it provides useful information. There’s a big difference between, say, 1/10 and 82/847. One of those is an incident; the other is a habit. I’ve added a percentage, but I’m not sure about it. It clutters up the chart, and it’s not really showing anything that the bar graph itself doesn’t show better.
There are several characters in the upper ranks there who I dislike, but have been kind of hoping they’d show up more, because I suspect they’d fall out of the top ranks rapidly with a few more appearances. Like, I’m assuming Naomi doesn’t talk about fucking Joyce all the time. That could be a bad assumption.
I’ve been thinking about getting rid of the “everyone but Billie” line, too. That was actually the original reason I made the initial count, to see whether I was actually correct when I said (without counting) that Billie said “fuck” more than everyone else in the comic combined. At the time, she didn’t, quite, but it was a much closer competition, and it had actually been Naomi’s cluster F-bomb just a couple weeks earlier that had put “everyone else” in the lead. But there are a lot more characters on the scoreboard now, and Sal’s F-MIRV, and Malaya showed up, so at this point Jennifer’s got no chance against the rest of the field combined, and all the “everyone else” bar is really doing is breaking the margins.
Maybe instead of a bar just have an additional “Percentage of all fucks” statistic for Jennifer. It may have the same clutter problem as the percentages on the per-appearance chart, but it’s probably less severe than the giant extra bar.
Truncating to two significant figures would probably help the clutter a lot too
doesn’t seem to include sal’s 77 from that one mario kart strip
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/temper/
It does, but she only got credit for 29 in that panel. Most of them are partially or entirely concealed behind Joyce and Billie, so don’t meet my critera for counting them, which require that all four letters are present and at least legible.
If you hover over the bars in the upper graph (or touch them, on Android, though last I checked it doesn’t work on iOS), it’ll pop up a box that shows the date and utterance responsible for that section of the bar. Most of the left half of Sal’s bar is that one panel.
There have been other “fuck”s in the comic that I haven’t counted. Ruth and Amber have both had them in internal monologue, but I didn’t count those as they weren’t said. Carla wore a shirt that said “FUCK HUMANS” at one point, too, which I didn’t count. I have counted text messages, which seem more like speech, though, and Marcie signing.
Dumbing of Age 14: I persist! My individuality remains a Bulwark the crushing tides of the fucking Cosmos!
I was raised fundamentalist Christian, and so I went to college saying fudge, shoot, and darn. One day in the middle of Freshman year, one of my friends said to me, “Say ‘fuck’.”
I thought for a few seconds, decided it was just a word, and said “fuck.”
“Say ‘fudge’.”
“Fudge.”
“Now don’t say it anymore.”
And I didn’t.
“Fucking go, and fucking sin no more.”
I wonder if I confuse native speakers when I use darn and fuck in the same sentence…
As in “Darn these confounded fucks!?,” he asked in a spirit of scientific inquiry.
Something like that yeah. I just mix and match the real swear words and kindergarten swear words according to my mood and fancy XD
Reminds me of a comedy bit where an actress playing an old woman was saying “Darn you! Darn you all!” and another person asked what she was doing and the actress replied, “I’m darning my socks.”
Oh no, it’s broken containment D:
Joyce, if nothing came to an end, you were not doing fucking right.
Woulda been hilarious if Joyce’s barrage of fucks in the third frame was set to “shave and a haircut”.
I get the feeling this is one of those “Joyce is based on Willis’s own life” moments.
Dang near every line from today is good for book titles!
(dunks cookie in whisky) well it appears you two have come to the right person. (bites whisky soaked cookie) Y’see (sips coffee so dark the abyss is afraid to look at it) Neither of you is wrong and you are both utterly so wrong it’s funny. You can’t know the actual state while you experience it. also I won’t see replies, becasue I don’t get notices.
What’s bane of this teacher? Mike?
I found he’s like the Ctaeh, from Kingkiller Chronicle.
And there you have it. She has realized she has no issue with saying fuck and will enjoy saying it repeatedly from now on.
Which bodes well for Joe when she decides to stop saying and start doing it.
ok which of you commenters took over Dina
Maybe it’s an autistic thing but I simply cannot grasp why “The F Word” is so fucking terrible. Like, it will bring group conversations to a halt, and people say “They were dropping F bombs all over the place” and I’m like What?
I understand that it does affect people, but intuitively not why it does. I’ve learned not to use it around certain people and frankly I respect them less for it.
I’m somewhat similar, but I know I’m somewhat unusual among people that tend to perceive words as a combination of their definition, their aural feel and their intent, divorced largely from historical context. For example, I’m Asian, and I know that, over in the US, the word “oriental” is considered rude, even an insult, owing to its historical legacy. But nothing in the word’s definition is offensive to me, and the word itself actually feels SILKY to my ears. It is a very pleasing word to my brain, so despite everything, I actually like the word and have no issues with people using it, unless I observe that they are using the word in a derogatory or demeaning manner (either towards myself or others). That’s the only time I object to it; aside from that, it is merely a word. It is the fact that someone would try to use it hurtfully that I dislike, not the word itself.
It’s a socio-cultural norm, it’s a Bad word used to express negative emotions and I guess the society doesn’t want to see things like that in the open. On a separate note using swear words liberally is seen as a mark of low intelligence and education. Your vocabulary being so limited that you need to resort to using those words. Like in my country when someone uses ‘kurwa” as a comma they are seen as low class.
Lol, “need to resort to”, like saying “fuck” is this desperate act of a lesser mind, scrambling to come up with a noise to fill the space.
To be fair it is about people who use swear words as a comma. Like dropping two or three in a single sentence XD
I get that, intellectually, but just can’t feel it. And the idea that Fuck is a word you resort to because you lack vocabulary doesn’t wash, either. It is based on Fuck having this huge emotional impact and for me it just doesn’t. Guess I have to accept there are some things I will never really understand.
Well yeah, the reaction is primarily emotional from being conditioned to react like that since young age.
You have to understand that the reaction is more emotional and subconscious than something you arrive at with logic. We are trained from young age to have a negative reaction to someone using swear words and react that way because we were taught to and we do it without thinking.
Just depends on the groups you’re around, I guess. Nobody in my life would bat an eye at someone over about fourteen saying it. Before that, they’ll give a kid some shit for cussing, because that’s a privilege they apparently feel you have to earn by not dying for fourteen or fifteen years straight.
until I started hanging out with americans online I would swear continuously, but americans are such prudes man
you can be as much of an asshole as you want, apparently, but god forbid you say asshole. or god in the wrong context, for a certain percentage of them.
it may also been due to a someones personal meaning of the swear. i was told growing up that “fuck” was a direct correlation to rape, so saying “fuck you” was a heinous thing to say — the implication under my mom’s /personal/ dialect was much more offensive than (what I’ve since gathered) is the popular take on the word (a vaguely sex related (but not always) rude filler or emphatic word). With Fuck, and some other swears, ive found the lack of a formal definition creates discrepancies in the understanding of how severe the swear is between dialect groups and individual people.
People who want to feel superior to others like to make up arbitrary rules and then scorn anybody who doesn’t follow those rules. That’s all it is. If you were to ask them they’d tell you some nonsense about vulgarity being unpleasant, uneducated, immoral, or what have you, but it’s all bullshit. They’re just rationalizing their superiority complex.
I really hope Dina gets her worldview challenged in some way. Maybe quantum physics and determinalism.
For Upending Comics Kingdom!
Let me kick your ass, we will check if you will be more conscious or not…
Let’s fucking go!
Also, Joyce? You take Joe’s 20$. Yeah, it might feel a little… I dunno, transactional or condescending or something, but take it.
Then collect another two 20s from Billie and Sarah.
And then have them FRAMED, so you remember this moment forever.
*Jennifer, dammit
I love Dina and Joyce’s dynamic
Two autistic gals being themselves
The professor is actually an alternate timeline Joyce who went atheist but without the friendly support system this Joyce got in college, causing her to descend into nihilism and go into science education rather than elementary school education. She then created a Time Machine to go back and make sure that a happier version of herself did still get a good biology education cuz that is still important.
Unrelated to the nihilism, in that timeline Joyce also happened to be transmasc.
…. so I take it the radically different noses are the result of some transition surgery to appear more masculine? … I don’t know how that works, but there’s a lot about transitioning that I don’t know about, so I can’t rule it out…
I can’t imagine professor brock has always had enough filter to avoid bringing this nihilistic stuff up inappropriately, he’s probably been punched in the face at a funeral or something
Bah! Atheists don’t get to be gloomy and broody! That’s our thing! Atheists don’t get vampirism, Catholic guilt, or sitting on a gargoyle contemplating life’s horror.
NGL, I felt similar when I finally broke down that taboo in my mind. Did overcompensate for the next couple of years though…
In honor of Joyce’s breakthrough, today I overturned many personal philosophies relating to adapting to shitty circumstances rather than committing to ongoing work/expenses required to push back against them, e.g. shaving my face.
It’s been a while since I had a life changing epiphany, so the timing is pretty great.
Someone get this girl a novelty mug or tea towel
Well, now we know why Bison returned.