After what she said yesterday, I think it is sinking in post party that the out loud part of “I’m risking my scholarship for you” was a super double red flag.
Risking the future she wants for a shot at pretty decent dude for a while is dubious, but also the fact that pursuing her education goal has been strangling her happiness.
Maybe, but while she may be thinking that’s a real risk, it seems an incredibly minor one to me.
I don’t know, maybe things have changed or maybe IU cracks down really hard on drinking, but the risk of being caught drinking in a small dorm room party by someone who’d actually escalate to where the school had to take action seems miniscule.
It did. Maybe she’s right and it’s really common to get caught drinking and
face real consequences basically every time, despite that not happening with any of the other people we’ve seen drinking.
Or maybe she’s more worried about than is really justifiable. Or maybe she’s using that worry to cover up her real social embarrassment.
The comments below you are proof that your interpretation is correct — Joyce is hearing the whispers of the dozens of screaming Joyorthy shippers through the fourth wall. 😀
Fortunately, she’s choosing the correct course (that is, stirring the pot while also maintaining the JoeJoyce ship, which is obviously correct).
Whatever she’s projecting to, keep in mind to calculate that Joyce’s “poly solution” is meant to end up with “oh but they realized they weren’t poly and just went with My Preferred Pairing” latched on.
Carla is dating Charlie, in an adorably awkward manner.
We have no information on Mary’s dating life since Halloween. She may or may not still be dating Peter. There was some speculation that she is recently broken up with him, but it remains speculation so far.
Depending on one’s viewpoint, Carla is not single. She is dating Charlie. Though, Charlie may or may not be dating Carla. (Exactly how Charlie perceives it all is still a bit murky.)
For me, Joyce’s case for a polycule is a situation where “I learned about this weird thing, and until I get greater nuance, I’m gonna see it as a solution to all problems.” Also, Joyce describes a dysfunctional polycule, wherein one member gets marginalized out, and I find it funny that Lucy is giving Joyce a dirty look.
shouldn’t she be over it by now? I’m sure joyce is fine but after having sex with dina idk if if she’d be disillusioned if joyce was suddenly attracted to/willing to to be in some kinda polycule (or relationship ouroboros like walky mentioned XD)
Becky is over her general hangup about sex. However, the notion of being in a sexual relationship with her First Major Crush, while getting to continue boinking her current One True Love?
That explosion would be picked up by seismic sensors in Hawaii.
Seriously though, I think that’s possibly it. From experience, there are few things more liberating than a dumb crush being definitely over. You rarely get closure and a chance to just carry on with your life:)
You can peep preview images on the dumbing of age tumblr. Not sure how okay it is to talk about them here cause it might be spoilery, but there is one of Sarah smiling. I don’t know why but I would like to believe it’s at least partially because she embraced the enlightened, happy Sarah inside her.
feb 19’s panel does make it seem like she’s pretty happy or possible having her eye on another crush (i mean not that there’s any text/context to hint at it but who knows)
She said not a solution to ALL relationship conflict, rather than not a solution to ANY relationship conflict. In other words, not EVERY relationship conflict WILL have polyamory as a solution, but any PARTICULAR relationship conflict COULD have polyamory as a solution.
I mean, it’s still a blow, but it could have been worse.
Mono-amory isn’t a magical solution to all relationship conflicts either, but chances are you probably don’t hear very many people pointing that out, if any at all.
Monoamory is a majorly unquestioned norm in this society, alongside the established need to have lavish weddings, give birth to and raise kids, buy a house, and other “essential” life milestones which just so happen to come with convenient tax breaks.
How kind of The Divine to arrange matters such that, no matter where on this planet you happen to be born, the culture closest to you just so happens to be the one to be able to herd guide you towards The One True Path To Happiness™️.
THANK YOU! I’m aro/ace and happily single, so there’s a lot about relationships I don’t really get and can only comment on as an outside observer, but I can’t help but feel like polyamory is a more normal/healthy default than monoamory. If you like two people, why not just be with both? I get that it’s not always that simple, but I don’t get why that’s seen as a radical idea. (I mean, I do know why – patriarchy – but I don’t have to like it.)
I mean why is also that people get jealous, people like feeling special, resource guarding, wanting to ensure your partner has YOUR offspring and not someone else’s… Monogamous marriage wasn’t invented by patriarchy.
But yeah. I think being ace and thus a already little outside of alignment with “the way things work” lends itself to being confused about other elements of that stuff even if it could work. Why do I care if my partners have sex with other people? Sex isn’t special to ME, it’s another possible bonding activity. It’s not even the best one! It’s normal for them to do a lot of the best ones with other people, no point in guarding the rest of it. I already know they love me. But also not all ace folks are like that either. A lot of them DO do that kind of intimacy guarding and jealousy about what other folks are getting (rather than what they’re not getting) and stuff, and it starts feeling a lot more… Orientation adjacent, the fact that I can’t imagine caring about that shit.
Some people like their pair bonding exclusive, be it romantic or deep platonic. Some people don’t care at all or are (as would be in my case) harmed by certain expectations of exclusivity around certain kinds of intimacy. I think most people sit somewhere between those things, both in terms of what they want to give and what they can emotionally handle from a partner. It would be nice if all positions on that spectrum stopped getting the weird shit anything other than “completely successful monogamy where no one ever fails to be monogamous in any way” gets.
In reference to jealousy, feeling special, resource guarding, *YOUR* offspring – that could be largely societal. Not only do we have a society that currently reinforces such things as part of its standard, we have a long history of humanity to reflect on, in which relationships have been much more varied in structure – the structure becoming more and less rigid depending on exact time period and culture you’re looking at, often fluctuating through the ages.
When you get down to stuff like resource guarding and mechanisms for supporting *YOUR* offspring, we’re reaching a level that’s not necessarily just societal, but instinctual. Evolutionary.
Other animals have their own mating patterns and so do we. Then we layer society on top of of those basic instincts.
I’ve never been in a poly relationship, but it sounds like they can be pretty complicated. A relationship requires you to know yourself well, to communicate your wants and needs, and to be ready to listen and change. Every additional person you add to that relationship requires more of those same skills. I want people to have the relationship that feels right to them, but I see how a relationship with one person it simpler.
That is definitely for sure true. Especially if your partners are not committed to each other in any meaningful way. Then you become the funny hinge between the life decisions people want to make. And if they also have other partners you’re not committed to the dance gets more complicated. As much as I would love for my QPP to meet a romantic partner, I kind of dread the day that I have to worry about the logistics of that.
I agree. I’m not opposed to polyamory and have even kind of skirted around the edges of it in the past, but for the long term, I have enough trouble maintaining even one close relationship. There’s a lot of risk in adding more.
I have dated someone poly in the past and I think it’s an orientation however many people default to monogamy due to societal pressure (being het is the same, it’s an orientation AND enforced by society which damages gay, bi, etc people and can lead to people thinking they’re hetero for a long time).
Basically I’m monogamous because I can’t be romantically in love with two or more people at once (of course this is a different experience entirely if you’re aro, but I can’t speak on that). However I’m perfectly comfortable dating poly people (I’m just monogamous on my side as an orientation).
So basically I mono/poly are orientations, in my opinion, and shouldn’t really be considered as better or worse by society. I will say I’ve seen as many relationship issues in poly relationships as in mono ones, and also wonderful relationships of both types.
Thank you, really don’t get why we have to justify polyamorism by saying it’s “better”. It’s just different, no better or worse. Some people are poly, some aren’t, and whether or not they are is not a value judgement against them or how they see relationships.
Yes! Poly as an orientation is very controversial, but “an orientation and societally pushed [like heterosexuality]” is 100% how I feel.
Be me: interested in multiple people from as soon as I got a sex drive, don’t understand sexual jealousy, inclined to assume monogamy is just too much jealousy. High school boyfriend goes along with it at first, tries to make me jealous by kissing my friends and I’m just stoked he’s getting into it. Poor bastard (noteably my female friends were all very respectful by checking my boundaries).
Choose a monogamous relationship with my partner (of 20 years now), come round to the idea of monogamy being an orientation by observing a person who is attracted to other people but just doesn’t want to act on it, and isn’t jealous at all (like, not territorially jealous – we have kissed other people on occasion). I have actually struggled with monogamy making me feel anxious and jealous, but I’ve slowly adjusted. 😅
At this stage I think of it as a spectrum-ish from the aspec to people who don’t ID that way but aren’t interested in others when in a relationship to are interested but don’t want that to various flavours of poly. Obviously oversimplifying. Obviously there are jerks everywhere on that spectrum. /ramble
I see this more as a meta-comment on poly being a solution to narrative drama problems, where it’s constantly brought up as an easy answer that lets everyone be happy. Regardless of the feelings of the characters in question – like Joyce is doing here.
And with Joyce as a known shipper of real people, it’s not even all that meta to bring up.
To be clear – when I suggest polyamory in a ship it is absolutely not because I think it will be an easy answer that lets everyone be happy. I just want to see more accurate and shameless polyamory representation.
I’m sick of love triangles where people have to choose. If you’re in love with both of them, grow a spine and be a hinge.
Tbh I’d argue that most Love Triangles are the exact relationships which SHOULDN’T do polyamory. Having been in some irl, those crop up because someone (usually center person) is terrible at decision making and communication, both things which are crucial in relationships. Adding more people doesn’t fix the core issue of someone who can’t be totally honest with any of them.
[I say that as having been the center person in those triangles, Idk if I could do poly now, maybe I could manage it these days, but I know for a fact that trying to be poly back then would’ve ended in a lot of hurt people.]
What exactly counts as a love triangle in your book? If there is unrequited feelings on one side does that count, or does the center person explicitly have to be leading the others on?
That’s fair, but it is a common thing and it’s (kind of) what Joyce is doing here to prompt this discussion.
It’s also not always as simple as “grow a spine and be a hinge”. That assumes both of them would be happy with that. Really happy with it, not just settling or hoping, like Joyce says here, they’ll win out in the end.
A tendency to make babies is one of the hallmarks of an organism.
Anyway, I think fact of the matter is most people aren’t capable of being in a long-term poly relationship without it blowing up, while many people are capable of being in a long-term monogamous relationship. I’ve also never seen a relationship transition from mono to poly without blowing up shortly after.
Maybe Lucy’s just mad her happy walk with her new guy has been interrupted in such a way that she’s on the sidelines again. Hard to blame her, honestly.
I think Lucy is mad about Joyce, not Sarah. I may be wrong, but the way Joyce is talking about her relationship with Jacob sure feels like something she would be mad about.
I mean, considering everyone more or less knows sarah’s ‘real personality’, her attempting to imitate lucy probably wouldn’t be effective unless she put that persona on to attract a random stranger
This is…terrifyingly in character for Sarah, actually. And it makes much more sense than my other favorite theory so far, which is that she’s riding the high of being over her crush on Jacob. Acting like a better, kinder, person than she feels she really is solely for the purpose of denying somebody else the “moral high ground” is right up her alley!
Nah. If it were a body statcher variety parasite it’d be making her wanna overthrow the capitalist way of life, as seen in the 1950s Invasion of The Body Snatchers film.
But either way, I can tell something (or someone) put Sarah into the Sunken Place T_T
Maybe she spent time with Amber the night before and is mirroring? Could also be foot-in-mouth disease. I’ve definitely said some things, immediately realized they were weird and/or rude and then didn’t know how to take it back.
I love her and I want her to learn and experience poly but the girl is letting her shipper brain drive the whole Joyce Bus and there’s a little too much gas in it.
this is a great plot device! every time Sarah’s an asshole they hit her in the head and she turns nice, but then some manner of shenanigans ensue, she gets hit in the head again and turns back into an asshole, and they keep having to hit her in the head to make her nice only to see fate hit her in the head again and turn her back into an asshole
this goes on forever, since we all know head trauma doesn’t kill people at all ever not even remotely and certainly not in this webcomic
Sarah cried so much about her dream man getting sniped out from under her, that the booze was able to drink her, and now it is piloting her body like a mecha. It’s…shockingly personable!
probably because she’s coming off as fake as opposed to more so ‘neutral’ like ‘ i don’t care’ tho if ppl were also bothered by that they’d prolly think she’s also ‘protesting too much’ or so
As a multishipper, polycules are definitely a solution to my fandom problems. Real life problems? *Very* much depends on the people involved. Some people are wired that way, and plenty aren’t. Trying to force yourself into a box–one way or the other–can lead to way more problems than it’ll solve.
(My partner and I did start out in a polyamorous relationship and now we *are* exclusive–barring very specific, unlikely to happen circumstances, lol–but that very much doesn’t happen all the time, ofc. Joyce is clearly still getting used to the concept of polyamory and thinks monogamy is superior, but baby steps. Baby steps are still progress and I’m happy for her.)
I think it’s both. Because at the end of the day, if Lucy/Jacob/Sarah were to happen, that would mean Jacob/Sarah (her preferred ship) would still be happening. But Joyce doesn’t view that as “good enough,” because it was drilled into her head from birth that the ideal relationship is one man and one woman in a monogamous relationship for life.
While she’s been deconstructing the heterosexual aspect of that ideal for the past semester, she obviously hasn’t dropped the “monogamous marriage is the best option” from her mindset yet. I feel like that viewpoint is being set up to get challenged–one way or another–soon, but for now. That’s absolutely the subtext to what she’s saying.
It’s not cool in a very autistic way. She’s not Amber, she’s yet to be told some of the things she saying are offensive, so she doesn’t know they are. Clapped back is a bad way to reinforce that. First time offenses deserve a more gentle warning.
Lucy doesn’t know that however since she inserted herself into this friend group 3 days ago. Sarah does, but she appears stoned as all heck right now. Joe does, but he might be too used to Joyce being Joyce to think to warn her, or might not think that’s something he’s aloud to do yet, or might not realize it’s something she needs help with.
Maybe. I’m not sure this is a special autism thing or something new that needs special gentle treatment.
The whole insertion of polycule here is distracting, but she’s really just doing her long term “shipping real people” thing and telling the new couple they should break up to match her preferred pairing. With the extra step of a poly relationship in the middle.
Fam, I’m autistic too and that was a major faux pas. “Why don’t you make a polycule? That will work until you have to get married. Then of course Sarah’s the one who gets the guy, like it was always gonna happen”, when Lucy and Jacob last night.
ASD may explain some behaviors, but using it to excuse them doesn’t vibe with me. Feels infantilizing.
But Joyce is also, literally, infatilized. She’s one of the most sheltered people to ever exist. Her worldview up until a year ago, was that you literally could not ever socially discuss or personally contemplate this specific topic, because the omnipotent sky wizard who monitors her thoughts and actions would literally set her on fire, forever. She has certainly never had basic sex education. There has never been any point in her life, where she could have actually gotten the necessary experience to figure out what is and is not weird to talk about; she went from a fundamentalist paradigm of completely opaque mystery, to average progressive college liberal, in the space of about six months.
And, outside her closest friends and immediate environment, she’s getting most of her ideas about what is and isn’t normal, in terms of navigating and discussing sexuality in a social situation, from reading the slash fic of a hyper-sexual, terminally-online sexually frustrated yaoi gremlin.
In short, she is ludicrously, immensely, incomprehensibly socially unaware about the ins and outs of navigating this sort of topic, in particular. But, if she were a real person, she honestly has a background where her complete ineptitude is quite believable. She was entirely repressing her very intense and obvious sexuality completely until, like, two weeks ago, when her close platonic friend (in a totally normal and platonic way!) taught her to masturbate.
Now, Advanced Secular Hanky-Panky has become her special interest, and literally nobody has thought to tell her that being Horny On Main 24/7 is not socially acceptable, partly because their friend group is just like that, and party because it’s something too obvious to them, to even think to point out to her. Nobody else she knows has had it sink in that “oh, yeah, we all started navigating these social boundaries 6-8 years ago as pre-teens, but Joyce started navigating them 6-8 days ago.”
So in short, it’s not just ASD. It’s the specific combination of several different ASD symptoms, within someone that has never been diagnosed and has no learned coping mechanisms, and also is utterly lacking in the most basic social experience related to this sensitive social topic, which it generally takes several years for even neurotypical kids to fully work out how to navigate. Plus, she’s both hyper-fixated on all this new information that was previously unavailable to her, and she’s experiencing massive sexual frustration.
It’s the absolute perfect storm, for Joyce making maximum cringe of herself.
There’s two separate things here: 1) Is Joyce behaving in character?
2) Is Lucy somehow obligated to put up with it?
The answer to 1 is basically yes, because of everything you describe, but that doesn’t mean 2 is also yes. You’re describing why Joyce is doing the shitty thing, but that doesn’t make it any less shitty or mean Lucy has to tolerate it.
I literally said “it explains it” (re: the stuff you listed) “but doesn’t excuse it” (aka, doesn’t mean it’s ok.)
Sometimes you’re ND and Make Other People Feel Bad. Sometimes you’re Mentally Ill and you Make Other People Feel Bad. That part is about other people’s boundaries, not about our intentions, or whether they know our life story, and/or decide this long background check is enough to let it pass.
You still end up with the obligation (hopefully! At least snce we live in a society!) to learn How Not To Fuck Up for a future similar situation.
As I recall, Joyce started out the comic thinking that she was very very knowledgeable on how romance was Supposed To Work, not just for her but for EVERYBODY. This was probably normalized for her autistic self by various adults in her church group who would gossip very eagerly and openly about who is good/respectable enough for whom, and what relationships/ways of expressing romance are definitely Bad in the eyes of God. So when she got to college and saw all these strangers in her dorm having romantic drama, she just started talking about it the exact same way she saw her church elders talking about it in her small town. And I think any attempt that might have been made to inform her this was inappropriate was probably undercut by, y’know, ALL THE OTHER ISSUES that literally everybody had with Joyce’s sheltered fundie worldview.
I can’t find the strip right now, but I remember at some point she was informing Billie what her ideal romantic future should obviously be, and how lots of careful calculation had gone into these predictions, but recent developments (camera points to out-of-the-closet Becky) has “doubled the number of factors”. I’m sure that as far as Joyce is concerned, the existence of polycules just recently increased the number of factors for her to consider exponentially, instead of merely being doubled!
TLDR: Joyce has always had a narrow view of what romance should be and a conviction that she gets to proscribe it to everyone the way it was proscribed to her, and recently her view of what romance could be has widened but nobody has disillusioned her of the notion that she gets to be the Ultimate Romance Authority.
I’d say this is more on the culture, rather than Neurodivergence. Not only Becky does the same thing but they WERE raised by a bunch of meddling busy-bodies with many an opinion on who should get to do what with other people, and how. And also, deviation of the norm was punished (at the very least, socially.)
Doesn’t take an autistic person to try and figure out a method to get it right. It’s what Moral is made of.
I say its Sarah’s belief that she can only be happy when other people are unhappy, achieved with Jennifer and now Lucy and Joe judging by their expressions.
Likewise, the contrast of Sarah’s incredibly flowery and diplomatic explanation to Joyce with Joyce just seriously going “did someone hit you on the head” made me cackle. I think the best DOA punchlines are never the last panel.
It’s a little annoying that “just all date each other” has to come with this lame disclaimer every time. Like, someone can bring it up even as a joke and there’s instantly a person going all Serious Face™ with “But in Real Life it’s not magic. 😐”
that’s because the “REAL magic” can apparently only ever happen between a mono-romantic married couple
there’s always that little unspoken part which just so happens to favor the established culture with centuries worth of disproportionate social power 👀
See, that’s what I always say, but then they get all Weird about it. They’re like “Our marriage is sacred, no you can’t fuck my spouse” and it’s a whole ordeal, then I have to move to a new home and change my name again. Then the next couple finds out I used to be called Tyler Peterson and they wonder why I changed it to Matthew Southworth, and the whole marriage conversation starts again. It’s so weird. Now if I see that gold band on somebody’s finger, it’s an immediate red flag and I know they’re not to be trusted.
It’s to herd you into eventually buying real estate and having children, who will later be treated as objects who need to work for fancy corporations and shit and repeat the cycle over again when they eventually get married and spend thousands of dollars on their weddings.
The whole cultural zeitgeist is there to make the self-serving interests of the supremely wealthy seem like universal interests, and to reproduce the working class to serve said interests
Much sympathies, friend. I’ve been in a bad place for a while now so if I had to deal with bigoted relatives I would definitely not be coping well. /offers preferred gesture of support
Wasn’t it the opposite? Like, all the girls didn’t really pay much attention to her and jumped at the chances to worship a “cool” girl AKA Jennifer and only stopped when she asked? I don’t think we seen how things are there since then.
We have. Lucy actually became cool post Walky. The forest trio were impressed by her but by then she didn’t want or need it. She wants to be a main character and this is what the main characters are like.
And actually looking back at a few other strips with these three it kind of implies Lucy was maybe the big boss around there until Billie showed up and immediately jumped to the top of the coolness pecking order. But Lucy wants more than to be the top dog of the human Dugtrio. She wants to hang with real characters with real motivations. She better than just getting crumbs of a crush on a background trans dude named Zaph.
My point isn’t really about her wanting to hang with the forest trio or not, it’s that Lucy initially desired this sense of admiration and perception as “cool” or “popular” in that superficial way that Jennifer achieved almost instantly. But over time as she changed her class schedule specifically to pursue Walky and integrate herself within the main cast friend group she no longer needs that shown by her not even acknowledging that it happened. She’s kind of outgrown that desire from them and in the process of leveling up in that way has maybe walked into a relationship where the main cast see her more as an equal than an idol. Thus susceptible to being occasionally clowned on in this manner. Lucy quite literally stopped being a background character. But main characters get dunked on all the time.
Well, the Kamen Rider and the Super Sentai (original concept of the Power Rangers) have made crossovers many times, and both franchises were the creation of the same author.
…huh. So I find myself genuinely unsure (complimentary) which explanation of Sarah’s Conspicuously Unexpected Okayness With Lucy Hooking Up With Jacob to believe, because both feel very plausible to me? But the fact that she specifically gives Joyce a kind word here via the “maid of honor” comment makes me thiiiiiiiink it might be a coping mechanism specifically? If only because if she was SINCERELY happy about it (which remains plausible t’me since it really would make sense that Closure With Jacob would be a HUGE weight off her shoulders even if it ISN’T via their hooking up) I don’t necessarily think she’d go out of her way to Pay It Forward, as it were. But we shall see!
it is a little weird but do they really wanna deal with a fight in the morning either? altho, not like sarah and jacob were dating so she has no right to be like “back off he’s mine”
She wasn’t, tho even Jacob acknowledged that he had been flirting with her a bit and was thinking a bit of a talk might be deserved from his end. Nothing is ever *owed* but social rules do dictate certain things would be nice and respectful.
Man I become obsessed with Fans! when I read it, and it’s funny polyamory not solving all problems when polyamory is how that comic love triangle get solved. (Fun fact: I been watching the show “Last week tonight with John Oliver” and I imagine the host as Shanna from that comic. It is pretty fun).
It’s a reference to the time the Joe from the Walkyverse (the predecessor to Dumbing of Age) was attempting to seduce a character named Union Jackie from the webcomic Faans! during the crossover between It’s Walky! and Faans!
There was a whole page dedicated his thoughts while watching her eyes dilate in hormonal interest.
It’s Walky! had a crossover with another webcomic, Faans!, in like 2005 or 2006, I wanna say? Thereabouts. Joe from Its Walky! was staring into a girl from Faans!, Union Jackie’s, eyes, and watching her pupils to see how well his flirting was being received.
Jackie was a huge fan of Britain and Dr who and whatever other parts of English culture that were easy for nerds to crib, so she was known as Union Jackie because of it.
I still have all of the music from Faans! on my phone. I was just listening to it a few months ago even.
Faans! must have been in it’s last storyarc by 2005… i remember binging on all the crossovers around 2002 – 2003? 20 years gone by, but good memories… I started with the Knights of the Dinner Table crossover and ended up in Faans, then in It’s Walky! Spent so many hours of “work time” in three comments sections at once. good times…
I know the pain of getting into something and finding no one else wants to be excited with you but honestly, for a webcomic that concluded its run more than a decade ago, I’d call it a minor miracle that it’s still online at all.
i imagine it’d be rare to see a polycule in the ‘main’ cast tho, much more likely to have like a three some/one night stand/fling but it would be interesting considering younger ppl are exposed to tiktok, if middle schoolers start to have ‘polycules’ and seeing how it affects them as adults, if they still didn’t feel jealousy with more partners, or a bi couple experimenting and such
Not sure if I gave my two cents but I think this is off course forced, but I think maybe this also might be Sarah accepting that she took the L and can now move on.
She’s like, horny but other than that it doesn’t even seem like she wants the drama of relationships outside of some friendships, sometimes. Let alone romantic. So maybe she’s seeing this as fate taking this off her hands so she can refocus on school (like she’s wanted to since the beginning) and maybe foster the relationships she does have.
The key points of contention will probably be the acting part and trying to move on to quickly, but I’ve also been in situations that were tense and demanded action, and things just kind of fall into (or out of) place right when you go on the attack.
It kind of sucks but it’s also freeing, at least initially.
i mean even tho joe didn’t get drunk i imagine she would’ve wanted to keep an eye on joe/joyce lol, because joyce didn’t esp point out anything that happened last night either unless she was passed out by the time sarah would’ve done anything else
Becky and her are ‘church buddies’ i believe tho idk if she really had close friends
feels like her and amber would have some overlapping ‘nerd’ interests but amber seems to talk more about smut than just overall fangirling over fandom/series lol
I think the whole situation with losing Jacob might had make her want to try to genuinely be nicer in general so maybe she will not lose a chance like that in the future. Either that or the brain worms and concussion theories, they are all strong points.
I mean it’s likely she’s upset, realises she has no real reason to be upset (she’s been kind of rude to Jacob and they weren’t dating so him getting together with Lucy isn’t something she has a right to be upset about).
So she’s basically masking that with a forced pleasant and reasonable persona. Which I’m pretty sure I’ve done a thousand times.
I think it’s fair if she’s upset and Jacob did mess her about a little. But she was also in the wrong with how she spoke to him on a few occasions. Also you can feel upset for a reasonable reason (person you have a crush on dates someone else) but expressing that would unreasonable (as you don’t have dobs on a crush).
So yeah I think she’s just doing her best to not seem upset when she is upset.
She lost because she couldn’t open up. She had to risk her scholarship to get drunk to open up enough to talk about her feelings, and it wasn’t enough – she watched as the guy she’s been pining after for months fell for Lucy in a couple of hours. Because Lucy IS spontaneous and emotional and sociable. She’s also been learning to stand up for herself, which was the thing Sarah looked down on her for.
New theory: Keeping her dignity intact, in this moment, for Sarah… Involves starting to do all the stuff Lucy does, even if it kills her. It’s win-win, truly: Saving face with everyone in the morning after, and fake-it-until-you-make-it on the social skills department. (It does work tbh.) For Jacob? Maybe. It could also be so she never takes this big an L in this particular way – out of self-love. She’s watched Joyce radically change, how hard can it be!
It’s like that one episode of Spongebob where Patrick tries to copy everything Spongebob does because he’s so desperate to win an award, down to copying hand motions only to press it against a hot grill. XD
I like to think that maybe she’s tired of being so negative all the time. It’s obviously a self-defense mechanism, and yet by pushing Jacob away she still got hurt.
Well, her personality shift overnight does seem like she might be ‘overcompensating’ til she ends up burning out halfway through the day and having a breakdown or rage fit, but hopefully she has a happy medium/can take a step moving forward
(altho i suppose younger ppl do tend to move on fast, not everyone’s like this, maybe some fickle kids but i wouldn’t be surprised if some ppl were super obsessed/fixated on one thing and then suddenly stopped caring whether it’s about a hobby or a person. tho i guess when ur a kid it might be hard for parents to take u seriously if you wanted to commit to getting a pet or some expensive toy you might get tired of two weeks later but that’s more of a tangent)
tho, it would be hilarious if they ran into booster and one sentence from them snaps her back into ‘grumpy sarah’
The first panel with Joyce suggesting a polycule brought a genuine smile to my face. Not because I prefer polyamory (anymore, I’ve been humbled in that regard), but just her being open-minded about things.
Then the second panel squashed those delusions. Ah, well.
I do love how she says these thoughts out loud that so many people would keep to themselves.
I’m trying to figure out if Joyce trying to get them into a polycule so her OTP can happen is more or less weird than Amber getting inspired to write smut based on her friends’ and acquaintances’ relationship tree.
So many people think Sarah’s behavior has something nefarious or chemical behind it but I think she’s just trying to be cool about it. Because what else is she supposed to do?
Throw a fit? Yell at them for getting together when she wasn’t dating Jacob and Lucy didn’t even know she was interested in him? Be angry? Sulk?
She and Jacob had just started to be able to have normal conversations. She’s supposed to torpedo what little relationship they do have because he’s dating someone else?
This is awkward and painful and she clearly doesn’t want to discuss it at all (much less have a group discussion) and I would bet money that she has been chanting “PLEASE JUST DROP IT” in her head for the past two strips.
If it was just about Ignoring It, she could have said “oh good morning,” and acted like nothing was wrong. Being so cheerful has called a lot of attention to the whole situation.
I’m kind of betting on Sarah being happy because a) she’s actually super relieved that she doesn’t have to even worry about trying with Jacob anymore and b) she is full of excitement about all the suffering she is expecting this to cause somebody, someday.
OH. Raidah probably isn’t gonna be happy about Lucy and Jacob, is she? She might especially not be happy that they slept together….
Uhmm… what Sara says in panel three also seems to be a reference to the Faans! comic… there there was a love triangle between a Lawful Good, a True Neutral and a Chaotic Evil character, that ended up in a polycule… the author did at that time write in the comments that he couldn’t bare the pressure of the shippers and the potential hate if he go either way, so ended up with a polygamous arrangement. At least, that’s how i remember it… Harem romantic anime were it never gets a clear resolution was all the rage way back then…
I guess Joyce here plays the part of the comments section that has a lot of trouble believing Sarah “never wanted a romantic relationship with Jacob.” She wanted to use his body for science, then when she found out he wasn’t into that stuff she settled for having masturbation fantasies about him, then when she found out he was seeing Raidah she wanted them to break up, trying to set him up with Joyce even as Joyce tried to set him up with her; since then she has been nothing but extremely reluctant to talk to him about how she feels because she thinks sitting together in terse silence is as close a relationship as it’s possible for her to have and trying for anything more will drive him away (also she thinks opening up to anyone about anything will hurt her).
My opinion is Sarah has only just realized it might be possible to get to know Jacob and maybe be friends, and she knows that’s something she needs, and she’s been worried she doesn’t know how to do that. But now at least her sexual attraction isn’t going to get in the way, so that removes a lot of the pressure. Also maybe she’s making an effort to be nice so that everyone (Joyce) can calm the hell down about her “losing” Jacob. I’m guessing that’s what’s going to make her blow up in the next strip about two panels from now.
Everything that’s been in Dumbing of Age for fifteen years (as well as basic storytelling conventions) makes me think this is going to go very wrong in the next few weeks because there’s no way Sarah’s grumpy exterior got broken like an interger overflow glitch in a video game.
Not only Sarah is strange today: Joe just entered the Joyce’s playing.
I think this is the first time I felt he’s genuinely changed for her, because Joyce’s dorkiness.
Joyce is such a shipper. Left unchecked, she would try to arrange everyone to hook up with everyone. Were Amber and Joyce ever to team up on this, the entire student population would end up one giant polycule. And Dorothy would be enlisted to get it all on spreadsheet.
Louder for the people in the back:
POLYAMORY IS NOT A MAGICAL SOLUTION TO ALL RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT!!!
While i *do* wish people would at least reflect whether monogamy is their default or their desire, you should NOT try to fix relationships by using polyamory. Go into polyamory as individuals who choose it freely, not as “well if i want Jacob then i have to be okay with being poly now“, that is unlikely to work out well.
My thoughts. Sarah had a moment of clarity when she got tipsy to try and talk with Jacob. That was a desperate move and not really like her.
Risk her scholarship? Act that needy? She got a wake up call. She (like Lucy) deserves better. That may mean a relationship with the Other Jacob for now but she can live with that. But not with what she was becoming.
She’s got friends who care about her. Which is new and different for her. Her freshman year left her alone and beyond friendless. She appreciating what she has and values it. Since she’s really isn’t seeking romance now, that she doesn’t have it isn’t a great loss.
She deal with her family unhappiness by succeeding in school. Her friends are an unexpected bonus. Unlike many of the group , she needs to be successful in school. Joyce is floating. Walky is barely trying. Jennifer hardly cares about classes. Sarah’s there for an education.
1. After Settlers of Cataan, Booster did their thing and spoke to Sarah and pointed out all of her faults and failings and fears and defenses and, in her inebriated state with her defenses down, she actually listened to them.
2. She has identified Jacob’s “type” – pleasant, lovely, friendly – and also realized from Raidah that it only needs to be surface deep. She’s not interested in a relationship; just sex. She’s honestly not upset one bit about Lucy and Jacob. She has some plan already in the works that is going to break the two of them up and make Lucy look absolutely awful, which would net Sarah an amazing week or so as “rebound girl.”
3. She actually did have a concussion.
After that, the possibilities get less and less likely, like “Sarah has a secret twin sister we’ve never known about” or “It was only a dream” or “Sarah has been murdered and this is the T-1000 sent back in time to kill David Walkerton and destroy humanity’s last hope against the future robot uprising.”
While I appreciate Joyce’s growth thus far… this is something that she needs to freaking evolve out of quickly: This insistence on her own fantasy being the important thing to come true, and tries to OPENLY rationalize or describe it, but then finish with directly insulting the person who she doesn’t believe belongs in that fantasy.
“This is how I wanted things to be, so here’s a narrative that will make everyone happy (in my eyes) at first, but ultimately exclude you because again, that’s how *I* think it should be.”
Lucy would be justified in saying, “Joyce… F off.”
And here comes the comment thread explaining why this thing Joyce says is actually perfectly normal and really *we’re* the problematic ones for taking issue with it
I don’t think anyone has said that Joyce’s comment was perfectly normal. People have defended polyamory and even objected to the dismissal of it as a solution, but no one seems to be saying “Yeah, that’s definitely what they should do”, especially with Joyce’s plan of “And then they’ll kick Lucy out and it’ll just be Sarah and Jacob”.
Ok, Joyce is leaning hard into the new thing she has learned. She’s rather heavily trying to manifest the future she wants as well, in a kind of a secular and scientific way by talking to the people involved.
Poly is only a solution when partners want different things out of a relationship that the other partner can’t provide, but neither wants to give up the relationship. What’s scary is when your wife and GF get together and talk, then giggle and point at you.
Honestly, if I were Sarah and trying to turn over a new leaf, and this was how my friends responded, I’d throw my hands up and be like “Man screw you guys, I can’t win no matter what I do.”
Also, Lucy looks pretty upset at Joyce, and she’s very valid for that.
I love Joyce but she’s really crossing some lines here, lol.
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I am getting increasingly more worried about sarah lol.
I’m now thinking that this is Saarah, and the real Sarah has been kidnapped again
1) Bodysnatchers
2) all the drugs, all of them
“Get out!!! GET OUT!!!! GET OUT!!! GET OOOOOUUUUTTT!!!”
T_T
sarah’s mood is so unsettling to ppl that they aren’t freaking out that joyce of all ppl is suggesting a ‘polycule’ as a solution lol
After what she said yesterday, I’m convinced she’s just happy because she’s looking forward to the fireworks when Walky shows up.
After what she said yesterday, I think it is sinking in post party that the out loud part of “I’m risking my scholarship for you” was a super double red flag.
Risking the future she wants for a shot at pretty decent dude for a while is dubious, but also the fact that pursuing her education goal has been strangling her happiness.
Maybe, but while she may be thinking that’s a real risk, it seems an incredibly minor one to me.
I don’t know, maybe things have changed or maybe IU cracks down really hard on drinking, but the risk of being caught drinking in a small dorm room party by someone who’d actually escalate to where the school had to take action seems miniscule.
Eh, it seemed to hit her like a horrible revelation that she was behaving like a fool.
It did. Maybe she’s right and it’s really common to get caught drinking and
face real consequences basically every time, despite that not happening with any of the other people we’ve seen drinking.
Or maybe she’s more worried about than is really justifiable. Or maybe she’s using that worry to cover up her real social embarrassment.
So, who here thinks Joyce trying to solve this drama by proposing a polycule is pure projection?
Watch, I bet she uses that on everything now. “Mary, I realize you and Carla don’t get along, have you considered a polycule?”
Joyce is projecting in fuckin’ IMAX
… and using the moon as a screen.
heh heh moon heh
Kinda calls back to that time in Shortpacked doesn’t it?
Oh, I thought you meant she was projecting the comments.
Oh no. No, she is projecting her d e s i r e s
The comments below you are proof that your interpretation is correct — Joyce is hearing the whispers of the dozens of screaming Joyorthy shippers through the fourth wall. 😀
Fortunately, she’s choosing the correct course (that is, stirring the pot while also maintaining the JoeJoyce ship, which is obviously correct).
Whatever she’s projecting to, keep in mind to calculate that Joyce’s “poly solution” is meant to end up with “oh but they realized they weren’t poly and just went with My Preferred Pairing” latched on.
… which is either an indication that she still has growing left to do or that she secretly hopes that she ends up marrying Dorothy someday.
Joyce could be like the Monster Prom protagonist, pretty transparently just wants to date everyone.
I’m the monster prom protagonist >.<
So hear me out this is how Dorojoyce can still win
a polycule with whom?
I mean, disregarding all the other problems with the idea, Carla and Mary are both single.
Carla is dating Charlie, in an adorably awkward manner.
We have no information on Mary’s dating life since Halloween. She may or may not still be dating Peter. There was some speculation that she is recently broken up with him, but it remains speculation so far.
Nooo? Mary had a fundie bf around, not that long ago, I’m pretty sure?
Can’t remember seeing anything to suggest they’ve broken up?
Depending on one’s viewpoint, Carla is not single. She is dating Charlie. Though, Charlie may or may not be dating Carla. (Exactly how Charlie perceives it all is still a bit murky.)
Charlie called Carla her girlfriend. How is that murky?
Dorothy, and Joe, and I guess Walky and Amber (assuming Dorothy hasn’t dumped him by then).
Whoever Amber dates is also in a polycule with AG by default as they share a body. I don’t make the rules, I just point them out.
For me, Joyce’s case for a polycule is a situation where “I learned about this weird thing, and until I get greater nuance, I’m gonna see it as a solution to all problems.” Also, Joyce describes a dysfunctional polycule, wherein one member gets marginalized out, and I find it funny that Lucy is giving Joyce a dirty look.
Not just projection. I’d bet Joyce is dying to ask the Lucy-Sarah-Jacob’cule if, “poly want a cracker?”
Oh, is it going to be a while before the other shoe drops?
And you were all worried “fuck” would be the word Joyce would overuse
Wow a concussion Joyce came up with a more probable explanation.
I really love that Joe immediately takes it at least playfully seriously lmao
Doctor’s son, and it shows
Also determined to be a good boyfriend and back her play. Her ridiculous, weird fantasy polycule play.
Joyce says what we’re all thinking.
Becky: Joyce I have a problem!
Joyce: have you ever considered a polycyle?
Becky explodes
Spoilers!
shouldn’t she be over it by now? I’m sure joyce is fine but after having sex with dina idk if if she’d be disillusioned if joyce was suddenly attracted to/willing to to be in some kinda polycule (or relationship ouroboros like walky mentioned XD)
Becky is over her general hangup about sex. However, the notion of being in a sexual relationship with her First Major Crush, while getting to continue boinking her current One True Love?
That explosion would be picked up by seismic sensors in Hawaii.
The entire midwest would be left a smoldering crater.
The dinosaurs would go extinct all over again.
I’m just thinking of the Joe/Dina relationship, how would that go?
Sarah has evolved past the need for a Jacob. It was never meant to be because she ascended to a level he can’t reach.
This isn’t even her final form!
i mean if you become a successful enough lawyer, you don’t have to worry about getting laid /would probably have more opportunities lol
Seriously though, I think that’s possibly it. From experience, there are few things more liberating than a dumb crush being definitely over. You rarely get closure and a chance to just carry on with your life:)
You can peep preview images on the dumbing of age tumblr. Not sure how okay it is to talk about them here cause it might be spoilery, but there is one of Sarah smiling. I don’t know why but I would like to believe it’s at least partially because she embraced the enlightened, happy Sarah inside her.
feb 19’s panel does make it seem like she’s pretty happy or possible having her eye on another crush (i mean not that there’s any text/context to hint at it but who knows)
Same, I’d love for this to be the case. Then we get to see if there’s more to Sarah than ‘Cranky, and likes Jacob’
She’s so done, she underflowed. Like Ghandi in Civ games.
Love Dares You to Change, But Not Like This, Never Like This
Sarah talking to the comment section in panel 3.
And I, for one, am not listening.
She said not a solution to ALL relationship conflict, rather than not a solution to ANY relationship conflict. In other words, not EVERY relationship conflict WILL have polyamory as a solution, but any PARTICULAR relationship conflict COULD have polyamory as a solution.
I mean, it’s still a blow, but it could have been worse.
And I, for one, am not listening. x2
Eh?
You can polycule some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t polycule all of the people all of the time.
(but joyce and amber sure dangit gonna try anyway)
Right here not listening along with you xD
Re: polyamory
Mono-amory isn’t a magical solution to all relationship conflicts either, but chances are you probably don’t hear very many people pointing that out, if any at all.
Monoamory is a majorly unquestioned norm in this society, alongside the established need to have lavish weddings, give birth to and raise kids, buy a house, and other “essential” life milestones which just so happen to come with convenient tax breaks.
How kind of The Divine to arrange matters such that, no matter where on this planet you happen to be born, the culture closest to you just so happens to be the one to be able to
herdguide you towards The One True Path To Happiness™️.THANK YOU! I’m aro/ace and happily single, so there’s a lot about relationships I don’t really get and can only comment on as an outside observer, but I can’t help but feel like polyamory is a more normal/healthy default than monoamory. If you like two people, why not just be with both? I get that it’s not always that simple, but I don’t get why that’s seen as a radical idea. (I mean, I do know why – patriarchy – but I don’t have to like it.)
I mean why is also that people get jealous, people like feeling special, resource guarding, wanting to ensure your partner has YOUR offspring and not someone else’s… Monogamous marriage wasn’t invented by patriarchy.
But yeah. I think being ace and thus a already little outside of alignment with “the way things work” lends itself to being confused about other elements of that stuff even if it could work. Why do I care if my partners have sex with other people? Sex isn’t special to ME, it’s another possible bonding activity. It’s not even the best one! It’s normal for them to do a lot of the best ones with other people, no point in guarding the rest of it. I already know they love me. But also not all ace folks are like that either. A lot of them DO do that kind of intimacy guarding and jealousy about what other folks are getting (rather than what they’re not getting) and stuff, and it starts feeling a lot more… Orientation adjacent, the fact that I can’t imagine caring about that shit.
Some people like their pair bonding exclusive, be it romantic or deep platonic. Some people don’t care at all or are (as would be in my case) harmed by certain expectations of exclusivity around certain kinds of intimacy. I think most people sit somewhere between those things, both in terms of what they want to give and what they can emotionally handle from a partner. It would be nice if all positions on that spectrum stopped getting the weird shit anything other than “completely successful monogamy where no one ever fails to be monogamous in any way” gets.
In reference to jealousy, feeling special, resource guarding, *YOUR* offspring – that could be largely societal. Not only do we have a society that currently reinforces such things as part of its standard, we have a long history of humanity to reflect on, in which relationships have been much more varied in structure – the structure becoming more and less rigid depending on exact time period and culture you’re looking at, often fluctuating through the ages.
When you get down to stuff like resource guarding and mechanisms for supporting *YOUR* offspring, we’re reaching a level that’s not necessarily just societal, but instinctual. Evolutionary.
Other animals have their own mating patterns and so do we. Then we layer society on top of of those basic instincts.
I’ve never been in a poly relationship, but it sounds like they can be pretty complicated. A relationship requires you to know yourself well, to communicate your wants and needs, and to be ready to listen and change. Every additional person you add to that relationship requires more of those same skills. I want people to have the relationship that feels right to them, but I see how a relationship with one person it simpler.
That is definitely for sure true. Especially if your partners are not committed to each other in any meaningful way. Then you become the funny hinge between the life decisions people want to make. And if they also have other partners you’re not committed to the dance gets more complicated. As much as I would love for my QPP to meet a romantic partner, I kind of dread the day that I have to worry about the logistics of that.
I agree. I’m not opposed to polyamory and have even kind of skirted around the edges of it in the past, but for the long term, I have enough trouble maintaining even one close relationship. There’s a lot of risk in adding more.
I HAVE been in a poly relationship — there’s a definite tradeoff between the benefits and the extra work you have to put in.
I have dated someone poly in the past and I think it’s an orientation however many people default to monogamy due to societal pressure (being het is the same, it’s an orientation AND enforced by society which damages gay, bi, etc people and can lead to people thinking they’re hetero for a long time).
Basically I’m monogamous because I can’t be romantically in love with two or more people at once (of course this is a different experience entirely if you’re aro, but I can’t speak on that). However I’m perfectly comfortable dating poly people (I’m just monogamous on my side as an orientation).
So basically I mono/poly are orientations, in my opinion, and shouldn’t really be considered as better or worse by society. I will say I’ve seen as many relationship issues in poly relationships as in mono ones, and also wonderful relationships of both types.
Thank you, really don’t get why we have to justify polyamorism by saying it’s “better”. It’s just different, no better or worse. Some people are poly, some aren’t, and whether or not they are is not a value judgement against them or how they see relationships.
polyamory* bleh can’t type
Yes! Poly as an orientation is very controversial, but “an orientation and societally pushed [like heterosexuality]” is 100% how I feel.
Be me: interested in multiple people from as soon as I got a sex drive, don’t understand sexual jealousy, inclined to assume monogamy is just too much jealousy. High school boyfriend goes along with it at first, tries to make me jealous by kissing my friends and I’m just stoked he’s getting into it. Poor bastard (noteably my female friends were all very respectful by checking my boundaries).
Choose a monogamous relationship with my partner (of 20 years now), come round to the idea of monogamy being an orientation by observing a person who is attracted to other people but just doesn’t want to act on it, and isn’t jealous at all (like, not territorially jealous – we have kissed other people on occasion). I have actually struggled with monogamy making me feel anxious and jealous, but I’ve slowly adjusted. 😅
At this stage I think of it as a spectrum-ish from the aspec to people who don’t ID that way but aren’t interested in others when in a relationship to are interested but don’t want that to various flavours of poly. Obviously oversimplifying. Obviously there are jerks everywhere on that spectrum. /ramble
I see this more as a meta-comment on poly being a solution to narrative drama problems, where it’s constantly brought up as an easy answer that lets everyone be happy. Regardless of the feelings of the characters in question – like Joyce is doing here.
And with Joyce as a known shipper of real people, it’s not even all that meta to bring up.
To be clear – when I suggest polyamory in a ship it is absolutely not because I think it will be an easy answer that lets everyone be happy. I just want to see more accurate and shameless polyamory representation.
I’m sick of love triangles where people have to choose. If you’re in love with both of them, grow a spine and be a hinge.
Tbh I’d argue that most Love Triangles are the exact relationships which SHOULDN’T do polyamory. Having been in some irl, those crop up because someone (usually center person) is terrible at decision making and communication, both things which are crucial in relationships. Adding more people doesn’t fix the core issue of someone who can’t be totally honest with any of them.
[I say that as having been the center person in those triangles, Idk if I could do poly now, maybe I could manage it these days, but I know for a fact that trying to be poly back then would’ve ended in a lot of hurt people.]
What exactly counts as a love triangle in your book? If there is unrequited feelings on one side does that count, or does the center person explicitly have to be leading the others on?
That’s fair, but it is a common thing and it’s (kind of) what Joyce is doing here to prompt this discussion.
It’s also not always as simple as “grow a spine and be a hinge”. That assumes both of them would be happy with that. Really happy with it, not just settling or hoping, like Joyce says here, they’ll win out in the end.
For some of the characters it would work. But not all of the characters.
A tendency to make babies is one of the hallmarks of an organism.
Anyway, I think fact of the matter is most people aren’t capable of being in a long-term poly relationship without it blowing up, while many people are capable of being in a long-term monogamous relationship. I’ve also never seen a relationship transition from mono to poly without blowing up shortly after.
“A tendency …”
yikes
Sarah talking to fans of stories with romantic tension in general.
sarah is gonna be so embarrassed when she realizes she was straight-forward about how much she loves her friends
oh no 🙁 i just realized this is Sarah being subtly insanely competitive with Lucy, i solved the Sarah puzzle
…God, that…that could be it, huh
Out of sheer, unbridled spite she will prove herself More Wholesome than Lucy
ooooooh there we go. I think you nailed it. Out-Lucying Lucy. And Lucy’s gettin’ mad about it, too.
Maybe Lucy’s just mad her happy walk with her new guy has been interrupted in such a way that she’s on the sidelines again. Hard to blame her, honestly.
And if it’s going to be a Lucying contest, Lucy has already handicapped herself by behaving quite unlike herself last night
Look, sometimes, you just get a poor read on the local meta-game. Happens to everybody at some point.
I think Lucy is mad about Joyce, not Sarah. I may be wrong, but the way Joyce is talking about her relationship with Jacob sure feels like something she would be mad about.
Which is fair, because Joyce is being pretty gross right now
I don’t think Lucy is mad at Sarah, I think she’s getting irritated as heck at Joyce, which is understandable right now lol.
That would explain that peculiar smile in the last panel.
I mean, considering everyone more or less knows sarah’s ‘real personality’, her attempting to imitate lucy probably wouldn’t be effective unless she put that persona on to attract a random stranger
Wow, Sarah’s social battery is much lower than Lucy’s. She will waist all very early.
This is…terrifyingly in character for Sarah, actually. And it makes much more sense than my other favorite theory so far, which is that she’s riding the high of being over her crush on Jacob. Acting like a better, kinder, person than she feels she really is solely for the purpose of denying somebody else the “moral high ground” is right up her alley!
lol What the fuck is happening right now
Pod person, you know, alien plant replaced Sarah in the night. Your standard body snatchers situation.
Has anyone checked whether her dominant hand changed yet?
Nah. If it were a body statcher variety parasite it’d be making her wanna overthrow the capitalist way of life, as seen in the 1950s Invasion of The Body Snatchers film.
But either way, I can tell something (or someone) put Sarah into the Sunken Place T_T
She is 10000000% high or drunk.
Joyce seriously what the fuck
Right? Joyce should be atleast be socially aware enough to apologize after saying infront of Lucy that she hopes Jacob eventually dumps her.
Should be isn’t the same thing as being I am afraid
Maybe she spent time with Amber the night before and is mirroring? Could also be foot-in-mouth disease. I’ve definitely said some things, immediately realized they were weird and/or rude and then didn’t know how to take it back.
I love her and I want her to learn and experience poly but the girl is letting her shipper brain drive the whole Joyce Bus and there’s a little too much gas in it.
Hehe Joyce ca-bus.
this is a great plot device! every time Sarah’s an asshole they hit her in the head and she turns nice, but then some manner of shenanigans ensue, she gets hit in the head again and turns back into an asshole, and they keep having to hit her in the head to make her nice only to see fate hit her in the head again and turn her back into an asshole
this goes on forever, since we all know head trauma doesn’t kill people at all ever not even remotely and certainly not in this webcomic
I’m reminded of classic Achewood and the time that resident asshole Pat got his dick electrocuted
Only, you know, less electrocution
God, I love classic Achewood
Wait, is she drunk? Is she the new Mike?
We haven’t seen Dina’s big bottle of booze since the party
Sarah cried so much about her dream man getting sniped out from under her, that the booze was able to drink her, and now it is piloting her body like a mecha. It’s…shockingly personable!
probably because she’s coming off as fake as opposed to more so ‘neutral’ like ‘ i don’t care’ tho if ppl were also bothered by that they’d prolly think she’s also ‘protesting too much’ or so
Or like Fred Flintstone in that episode of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law we get a different Sarah every time she gets conked on the head.
The real question is who taught Joyce the word polycule?
I’m assuming Sierra and her polycule?
It was a bonus comic iirc, I think it was mentioned in passing to her in the main tho
Those are some huge pupils in that panel. Next is smash cut to the ICU?
As a multishipper, polycules are definitely a solution to my fandom problems. Real life problems? *Very* much depends on the people involved. Some people are wired that way, and plenty aren’t. Trying to force yourself into a box–one way or the other–can lead to way more problems than it’ll solve.
(My partner and I did start out in a polyamorous relationship and now we *are* exclusive–barring very specific, unlikely to happen circumstances, lol–but that very much doesn’t happen all the time, ofc. Joyce is clearly still getting used to the concept of polyamory and thinks monogamy is superior, but baby steps. Baby steps are still progress and I’m happy for her.)
This isn’t really even “thinks monogamy is superior”, but “Is using polygamy to get to her preferred ship”.
I think it’s both. Because at the end of the day, if Lucy/Jacob/Sarah were to happen, that would mean Jacob/Sarah (her preferred ship) would still be happening. But Joyce doesn’t view that as “good enough,” because it was drilled into her head from birth that the ideal relationship is one man and one woman in a monogamous relationship for life.
While she’s been deconstructing the heterosexual aspect of that ideal for the past semester, she obviously hasn’t dropped the “monogamous marriage is the best option” from her mindset yet. I feel like that viewpoint is being set up to get challenged–one way or another–soon, but for now. That’s absolutely the subtext to what she’s saying.
It’s Bizarro Sarah!
Or Mirror Sarah!
We need a filter that draws a goatee on her to help keep things
straightclear.Bizarro! Bizarro! Bizarro! Bizarro!
Somebody give her a peanut.
Bizzarah?
Concussion is actually a solid guess, good eye Joyce and follow through Joe
I’m going to go ahead and put a nickel on the ghost of Mike possessing Sarah. She just hasn’t worked off the alcohol yet.
Joyce sweetie no.
It’s just Joyce being Joyce, but yeah……Joyce, seriously, no.
joyce honey i love you. i’m beating you with a hammer.
lucy is literally standing right there. TT-TT poor thing.
Yeah, Lucy’s not looking thrilled by this conversation.
I feel confident that Lucy is entirely capable of clapping back in the next strip, tbh.
But yeah. Bad Joyce.
God I hope she does. Love Joyce but that was not cool
It’s not cool in a very autistic way. She’s not Amber, she’s yet to be told some of the things she saying are offensive, so she doesn’t know they are. Clapped back is a bad way to reinforce that. First time offenses deserve a more gentle warning.
Lucy doesn’t know that however since she inserted herself into this friend group 3 days ago. Sarah does, but she appears stoned as all heck right now. Joe does, but he might be too used to Joyce being Joyce to think to warn her, or might not think that’s something he’s aloud to do yet, or might not realize it’s something she needs help with.
Kinda reinforces everything Sarah said to Lucy before about Lucy being an outsider.
Maybe. I’m not sure this is a special autism thing or something new that needs special gentle treatment.
The whole insertion of polycule here is distracting, but she’s really just doing her long term “shipping real people” thing and telling the new couple they should break up to match her preferred pairing. With the extra step of a poly relationship in the middle.
I meant from Lucy’s perspective.
Fam, I’m autistic too and that was a major faux pas. “Why don’t you make a polycule? That will work until you have to get married. Then of course Sarah’s the one who gets the guy, like it was always gonna happen”, when Lucy and Jacob last night.
ASD may explain some behaviors, but using it to excuse them doesn’t vibe with me. Feels infantilizing.
By and large, it is infantilizing.
But Joyce is also, literally, infatilized. She’s one of the most sheltered people to ever exist. Her worldview up until a year ago, was that you literally could not ever socially discuss or personally contemplate this specific topic, because the omnipotent sky wizard who monitors her thoughts and actions would literally set her on fire, forever. She has certainly never had basic sex education. There has never been any point in her life, where she could have actually gotten the necessary experience to figure out what is and is not weird to talk about; she went from a fundamentalist paradigm of completely opaque mystery, to average progressive college liberal, in the space of about six months.
And, outside her closest friends and immediate environment, she’s getting most of her ideas about what is and isn’t normal, in terms of navigating and discussing sexuality in a social situation, from reading the slash fic of a hyper-sexual, terminally-online sexually frustrated yaoi gremlin.
In short, she is ludicrously, immensely, incomprehensibly socially unaware about the ins and outs of navigating this sort of topic, in particular. But, if she were a real person, she honestly has a background where her complete ineptitude is quite believable. She was entirely repressing her very intense and obvious sexuality completely until, like, two weeks ago, when her close platonic friend (in a totally normal and platonic way!) taught her to masturbate.
Now, Advanced Secular Hanky-Panky has become her special interest, and literally nobody has thought to tell her that being Horny On Main 24/7 is not socially acceptable, partly because their friend group is just like that, and party because it’s something too obvious to them, to even think to point out to her. Nobody else she knows has had it sink in that “oh, yeah, we all started navigating these social boundaries 6-8 years ago as pre-teens, but Joyce started navigating them 6-8 days ago.”
So in short, it’s not just ASD. It’s the specific combination of several different ASD symptoms, within someone that has never been diagnosed and has no learned coping mechanisms, and also is utterly lacking in the most basic social experience related to this sensitive social topic, which it generally takes several years for even neurotypical kids to fully work out how to navigate. Plus, she’s both hyper-fixated on all this new information that was previously unavailable to her, and she’s experiencing massive sexual frustration.
It’s the absolute perfect storm, for Joyce making maximum cringe of herself.
There’s two separate things here: 1) Is Joyce behaving in character?
2) Is Lucy somehow obligated to put up with it?
The answer to 1 is basically yes, because of everything you describe, but that doesn’t mean 2 is also yes. You’re describing why Joyce is doing the shitty thing, but that doesn’t make it any less shitty or mean Lucy has to tolerate it.
I literally said “it explains it” (re: the stuff you listed) “but doesn’t excuse it” (aka, doesn’t mean it’s ok.)
Sometimes you’re ND and Make Other People Feel Bad. Sometimes you’re Mentally Ill and you Make Other People Feel Bad. That part is about other people’s boundaries, not about our intentions, or whether they know our life story, and/or decide this long background check is enough to let it pass.
You still end up with the obligation (hopefully! At least snce we live in a society!) to learn How Not To Fuck Up for a future similar situation.
As I recall, Joyce started out the comic thinking that she was very very knowledgeable on how romance was Supposed To Work, not just for her but for EVERYBODY. This was probably normalized for her autistic self by various adults in her church group who would gossip very eagerly and openly about who is good/respectable enough for whom, and what relationships/ways of expressing romance are definitely Bad in the eyes of God. So when she got to college and saw all these strangers in her dorm having romantic drama, she just started talking about it the exact same way she saw her church elders talking about it in her small town. And I think any attempt that might have been made to inform her this was inappropriate was probably undercut by, y’know, ALL THE OTHER ISSUES that literally everybody had with Joyce’s sheltered fundie worldview.
I can’t find the strip right now, but I remember at some point she was informing Billie what her ideal romantic future should obviously be, and how lots of careful calculation had gone into these predictions, but recent developments (camera points to out-of-the-closet Becky) has “doubled the number of factors”. I’m sure that as far as Joyce is concerned, the existence of polycules just recently increased the number of factors for her to consider exponentially, instead of merely being doubled!
TLDR: Joyce has always had a narrow view of what romance should be and a conviction that she gets to proscribe it to everyone the way it was proscribed to her, and recently her view of what romance could be has widened but nobody has disillusioned her of the notion that she gets to be the Ultimate Romance Authority.
I’d say this is more on the culture, rather than Neurodivergence. Not only Becky does the same thing but they WERE raised by a bunch of meddling busy-bodies with many an opinion on who should get to do what with other people, and how. And also, deviation of the norm was punished (at the very least, socially.)
Doesn’t take an autistic person to try and figure out a method to get it right. It’s what Moral is made of.
A concussion would explain a lot.
I say its Sarah’s belief that she can only be happy when other people are unhappy, achieved with Jennifer and now Lucy and Joe judging by their expressions.
someone, somewhere, must be Absolutely, Completely Miserable for her to be this positive about the world
i would say it’s a handful of the casts’ parents by default, but i mean, considering ethan’s state, idk if that’d also be a contribution lol
tho he’s slightly less miserable while boning asher
Jennifer’s right there.
Well, slightly off-panel today, but my point stands.
Some kid in Omelas is having it extra rough.
The “conspicuous silence” thing got a big laugh out of me.
Likewise, the contrast of Sarah’s incredibly flowery and diplomatic explanation to Joyce with Joyce just seriously going “did someone hit you on the head” made me cackle. I think the best DOA punchlines are never the last panel.
These things take a while to process before one remembers how one is expected to respond.
It’s a little annoying that “just all date each other” has to come with this lame disclaimer every time. Like, someone can bring it up even as a joke and there’s instantly a person going all Serious Face™ with “But in Real Life it’s not magic. 😐”
that’s because the “REAL magic” can apparently only ever happen between a mono-romantic married couple
there’s always that little unspoken part which just so happens to favor the established culture with centuries worth of disproportionate social power 👀
I tend not to trust married people, tbh. They always want me to get married too, but not to them, so I have to wonder why they’re so invested.
Okay fine, I’ll marry you. Jeez.
See, that’s what I always say, but then they get all Weird about it. They’re like “Our marriage is sacred, no you can’t fuck my spouse” and it’s a whole ordeal, then I have to move to a new home and change my name again. Then the next couple finds out I used to be called Tyler Peterson and they wonder why I changed it to Matthew Southworth, and the whole marriage conversation starts again. It’s so weird. Now if I see that gold band on somebody’s finger, it’s an immediate red flag and I know they’re not to be trusted.
Congratulations! I’m available as best person! (my hourly rates are very reasonable)
I’m recognized in the state of Texas as a legal person to conduct marriages and handfastings in several pagan traditions, if needed.
It’s to herd you into eventually buying real estate and having children, who will later be treated as objects who need to work for fancy corporations and shit and repeat the cycle over again when they eventually get married and spend thousands of dollars on their weddings.
The whole cultural zeitgeist is there to make the self-serving interests of the supremely wealthy seem like universal interests, and to reproduce the working class to serve said interests
I am imagined you standing in a wooden box yelling this into a megaphone to a zealous crowd. It’s a cool image.
Let’s see ’em try to breed me when I finally upload my brain to the Internet and start building a robot army.
That will absolutely not stop certain kinds of people.
Yeah, including me. Ultron is the hottest MCU villain for a reason.
I appreciate how correct you are. Just all the time. Especially now.
You’re really in a mood today, huh.
Phone calls from bigoted relatives had me spend all of Labor Day with sustained screaming and panic attacks, so yes.
Doing better now, gonna call PayPal AGAIN to see just how long they say it will be before I can withdraw my funds on my own this time.
(you know that feeling when the universe is just rigged against you? well…)
Much sympathies, friend. I’ve been in a bad place for a while now so if I had to deal with bigoted relatives I would definitely not be coping well. /offers preferred gesture of support
Wow, that smile in the last panel is….peculiar.
Joyce is distressed by Sarah’s comments, and even Joe does a check to see if there is any anomaly.
And Lucy’s expression is an obvious
“I regret joining this group.”
Perhaps, “did someone hit all of you in the head?”
Lucy just stays getting disrespected by this group
That expression in the last panel is “why me?”
Ironically this is what she wanted. She could be a queen in forest hall if she desired. She chose this, sought it out.
Wasn’t it the opposite? Like, all the girls didn’t really pay much attention to her and jumped at the chances to worship a “cool” girl AKA Jennifer and only stopped when she asked? I don’t think we seen how things are there since then.
We have. Lucy actually became cool post Walky. The forest trio were impressed by her but by then she didn’t want or need it. She wants to be a main character and this is what the main characters are like.
Post Walky? Aren’t we still dealing with the breakup fallout? Was there even time to show the reactions of the forest trio?
Could you give me a link? I genuinely did not remember that.
Sure:
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2023/comic/book-14/02-its-the-love-i-havent-got/whatsnew/
And actually looking back at a few other strips with these three it kind of implies Lucy was maybe the big boss around there until Billie showed up and immediately jumped to the top of the coolness pecking order. But Lucy wants more than to be the top dog of the human Dugtrio. She wants to hang with real characters with real motivations. She better than just getting crumbs of a crush on a background trans dude named Zaph.
Okay, but that was IMMEDIATELY after the breakup. Being upset doesn’t prove that she’s uninterested in hanging out with them.
My point isn’t really about her wanting to hang with the forest trio or not, it’s that Lucy initially desired this sense of admiration and perception as “cool” or “popular” in that superficial way that Jennifer achieved almost instantly. But over time as she changed her class schedule specifically to pursue Walky and integrate herself within the main cast friend group she no longer needs that shown by her not even acknowledging that it happened. She’s kind of outgrown that desire from them and in the process of leveling up in that way has maybe walked into a relationship where the main cast see her more as an equal than an idol. Thus susceptible to being occasionally clowned on in this manner. Lucy quite literally stopped being a background character. But main characters get dunked on all the time.
That made me angry for Joyce. Leave Lucy and Jacob alone!
I do love how >:/ Lucy is right now. She’s all “What the fuck are you on about?” It’s not even noon yet.
It seems that she is finally getting to know this peculiar group that she joined in more detail.
By the way, Kamen Rider Gavv!!
A gummi rider, but I admit that the series looks interesting
What about a Kamen Rider, now? Sorry, I don’t know much about that series. That’s the one with grasshopper guys on bikes, right?
I thought it was a JoJo stand.
Yes, in fact the Gravatar you are using is the most recent character.
My daughter said it was a Power Ranger. Damn it
Well, the Kamen Rider and the Super Sentai (original concept of the Power Rangers) have made crossovers many times, and both franchises were the creation of the same author.
She would be thankful for Sarah’s save, but she KNOWS Sarah
…huh. So I find myself genuinely unsure (complimentary) which explanation of Sarah’s Conspicuously Unexpected Okayness With Lucy Hooking Up With Jacob to believe, because both feel very plausible to me? But the fact that she specifically gives Joyce a kind word here via the “maid of honor” comment makes me thiiiiiiiink it might be a coping mechanism specifically? If only because if she was SINCERELY happy about it (which remains plausible t’me since it really would make sense that Closure With Jacob would be a HUGE weight off her shoulders even if it ISN’T via their hooking up) I don’t necessarily think she’d go out of her way to Pay It Forward, as it were. But we shall see!
it is a little weird but do they really wanna deal with a fight in the morning either? altho, not like sarah and jacob were dating so she has no right to be like “back off he’s mine”
She wasn’t, tho even Jacob acknowledged that he had been flirting with her a bit and was thinking a bit of a talk might be deserved from his end. Nothing is ever *owed* but social rules do dictate certain things would be nice and respectful.
looking up “union jackie” and imdb and google tells me its a character from “For your Thighs only ” and has 3 stars.
“An extremely conservative and religious group of people wants to outlaw sex” sounds old Joyce …
no wait, there thats the 1984 james bond spoof, union jackie is in 2005.
whats Union jackie
It refers to a character in a comic called “Faans!” that “It’s Walky!” did a crossover with (Joe may or may not have done it with this Union Jackie).
Joe was watching her pupils to see if hitting on her was working.
https://www.itswalky.com/comic/joes-playa-rules/
Man I become obsessed with Fans! when I read it, and it’s funny polyamory not solving all problems when polyamory is how that comic love triangle get solved. (Fun fact: I been watching the show “Last week tonight with John Oliver” and I imagine the host as Shanna from that comic. It is pretty fun).
God what a reference in the alt-text
What is the reference? I didn’t follow.
It’s a reference to the time the Joe from the Walkyverse (the predecessor to Dumbing of Age) was attempting to seduce a character named Union Jackie from the webcomic Faans! during the crossover between It’s Walky! and Faans!
There was a whole page dedicated his thoughts while watching her eyes dilate in hormonal interest.
It’s Walky! had a crossover with another webcomic, Faans!, in like 2005 or 2006, I wanna say? Thereabouts. Joe from Its Walky! was staring into a girl from Faans!, Union Jackie’s, eyes, and watching her pupils to see how well his flirting was being received.
Jackie was a huge fan of Britain and Dr who and whatever other parts of English culture that were easy for nerds to crib, so she was known as Union Jackie because of it.
I still have all of the music from Faans! on my phone. I was just listening to it a few months ago even.
Faans! must have been in it’s last storyarc by 2005… i remember binging on all the crossovers around 2002 – 2003? 20 years gone by, but good memories… I started with the Knights of the Dinner Table crossover and ended up in Faans, then in It’s Walky! Spent so many hours of “work time” in three comments sections at once. good times…
I read it like 2 years ago I think, and become so obsessed with it and was so sad there is basically no fanbase around it or any fanfiction.🥲
I know the pain of getting into something and finding no one else wants to be excited with you but honestly, for a webcomic that concluded its run more than a decade ago, I’d call it a minor miracle that it’s still online at all.
Enjoyed rhe callback, especially as I’m rereading Fans! right now.
Thank you all!
Twenty years and a-universe-and-a-half away. Glad to see some other Webcomics Olds down here in the comments
Joyce is more socially conscious but finds new ways to say seriously messed up things.
The internet has show us that no level of social consciousness will stop you from saying messed up things.
that’s just what college is like for a lot of ppl, i imagine, tho considering everything she could be a lot worse lol
Since when is polyamory not a magical solution to relationship problems???
I know, right?!
i imagine it’d be rare to see a polycule in the ‘main’ cast tho, much more likely to have like a three some/one night stand/fling but it would be interesting considering younger ppl are exposed to tiktok, if middle schoolers start to have ‘polycules’ and seeing how it affects them as adults, if they still didn’t feel jealousy with more partners, or a bi couple experimenting and such
Not sure if I gave my two cents but I think this is off course forced, but I think maybe this also might be Sarah accepting that she took the L and can now move on.
She’s like, horny but other than that it doesn’t even seem like she wants the drama of relationships outside of some friendships, sometimes. Let alone romantic. So maybe she’s seeing this as fate taking this off her hands so she can refocus on school (like she’s wanted to since the beginning) and maybe foster the relationships she does have.
The key points of contention will probably be the acting part and trying to move on to quickly, but I’ve also been in situations that were tense and demanded action, and things just kind of fall into (or out of) place right when you go on the attack.
It kind of sucks but it’s also freeing, at least initially.
Maybe Sarah sarcasmed so hard she came all the way back around to sincere?
She had a sargasm.
So…do we know what Sarah was up to post-party? Did she hook up with someone else? Is there anyone accounted for that she COULD have hooked up with?
It’s always sex with you people. Maybe she had a great breakfast.
Maybe she hooked up with a really good breakfast.
[The scene cuts to Sarah in a dominatrix outfit, smacking a Part Of This Balanced Breakfast™ with a riding crop]
Man, I remember when Joe was admitting he found her mean, violent streak hot back in the day. Didn’t he even say the bat could come?
(Much later, Dina clocked him as a submissive and it was like yeahhhh that tracks)
Anyway what I mean is. I can SO see it
*The half a grapefruit squirts juice into her eye*
“Oh yeah, you like that… don’t you.”
She took shrooms with Meredith and they opened entire new pathways in her brain
She hooked up with Meredith and like five machine elves (technically they’re one singular distributed mycological consciousness, so it wasn’t an orgy)
Together they (dis)solved the problem of the Self vs the Other. BAM, social phobia obliterated
Can’t remember whose appendages where whose but best orgasm ever
i mean even tho joe didn’t get drunk i imagine she would’ve wanted to keep an eye on joe/joyce lol, because joyce didn’t esp point out anything that happened last night either unless she was passed out by the time sarah would’ve done anything else
You know, sometimes the simple solution is right. Sarah, do you know who the president is? What state are we in?
The president is Hatsune Miku and the state we’re in is panic.
Everyone knows that Miku is president of every country at the same time.
Is that what all these Latin American Miku memes are about? I don’t understand them, but I love them.
Does anyone in this social circle actually like Lucy, aside from Walky? Even Joyce seems to sorta see her as an interloper.
And Becky I guess, since they were hanging out that once.
Becky and her are ‘church buddies’ i believe tho idk if she really had close friends
feels like her and amber would have some overlapping ‘nerd’ interests but amber seems to talk more about smut than just overall fangirling over fandom/series lol
Lucy doesn’t seem to like Joyce or Dorothy. Sarah liked her before the Jacob incident.
After panel 5, Liz is spontaneously summoned into the scene to fight Joyce for position of Sarah’s Eventual Maid of Honor
I’m weirded out by how much Liz and Happy Sarah look alike tbh, pls don’t summon her
It’s weird that sisters look similar?
Not at all! Not normally.
They just had SO DIFFERENT VIBES back when Liz was introduced I truly didn’t see a resemblance until now. And it was always there! :’33
Liz gets summoned in, takes one look at Sarah’s open smile, and nopes right out of there in a split second.
legit the scariest arc in the comic so far
The twist is Sarah is telling the truth and is genuinely okay with this.
by, ‘maid of honor’ she means she’ll leave it up to joyce to plan the whole thing 8D;
Because she will definitely not do it.
Maybe not in real life, Sarah, but you’re fictional and in fanfic polyamory solves all problems.
Unless this writter doesn’t want it to do that, as a we all live at the mercy of their cruel whims.
Ok now I’m kind of concerned. What exactly is Sarah’s ploy here?
I think the whole situation with losing Jacob might had make her want to try to genuinely be nicer in general so maybe she will not lose a chance like that in the future. Either that or the brain worms and concussion theories, they are all strong points.
I mean it’s likely she’s upset, realises she has no real reason to be upset (she’s been kind of rude to Jacob and they weren’t dating so him getting together with Lucy isn’t something she has a right to be upset about).
So she’s basically masking that with a forced pleasant and reasonable persona. Which I’m pretty sure I’ve done a thousand times.
I think it’s fair if she’s upset and Jacob did mess her about a little. But she was also in the wrong with how she spoke to him on a few occasions. Also you can feel upset for a reasonable reason (person you have a crush on dates someone else) but expressing that would unreasonable (as you don’t have dobs on a crush).
So yeah I think she’s just doing her best to not seem upset when she is upset.
No really whose valium and/or percocet did she steal?
maybe she got secondhand high from meredith 8D;
I mean, Sarah is acting weird, but the shoe hasn’t dropped et.
… Love dares you to change. Oh.
She lost because she couldn’t open up. She had to risk her scholarship to get drunk to open up enough to talk about her feelings, and it wasn’t enough – she watched as the guy she’s been pining after for months fell for Lucy in a couple of hours. Because Lucy IS spontaneous and emotional and sociable. She’s also been learning to stand up for herself, which was the thing Sarah looked down on her for.
New theory: Keeping her dignity intact, in this moment, for Sarah… Involves starting to do all the stuff Lucy does, even if it kills her. It’s win-win, truly: Saving face with everyone in the morning after, and fake-it-until-you-make-it on the social skills department. (It does work tbh.) For Jacob? Maybe. It could also be so she never takes this big an L in this particular way – out of self-love.
She’s watched Joyce radically change, how hard can it be!It’s like that one episode of Spongebob where Patrick tries to copy everything Spongebob does because he’s so desperate to win an award, down to copying hand motions only to press it against a hot grill. XD
I like to think that maybe she’s tired of being so negative all the time. It’s obviously a self-defense mechanism, and yet by pushing Jacob away she still got hurt.
Ah, so today ends with her building pressure and strain until Joe takes one step over the line and she throws him into the sun.
Well, her personality shift overnight does seem like she might be ‘overcompensating’ til she ends up burning out halfway through the day and having a breakdown or rage fit, but hopefully she has a happy medium/can take a step moving forward
(altho i suppose younger ppl do tend to move on fast, not everyone’s like this, maybe some fickle kids but i wouldn’t be surprised if some ppl were super obsessed/fixated on one thing and then suddenly stopped caring whether it’s about a hobby or a person. tho i guess when ur a kid it might be hard for parents to take u seriously if you wanted to commit to getting a pet or some expensive toy you might get tired of two weeks later but that’s more of a tangent)
tho, it would be hilarious if they ran into booster and one sentence from them snaps her back into ‘grumpy sarah’
I love how Joyce NPCed Lucy and nobody cares
i’m sure jacob will speak up at some point, if not jen, but at this point i think everyone’s used to joyce putting her foot in her mouth
meanwhile maybe walkys sneaking past them not saying anything lol. if ther’esn ot an alternative route to walk to the same class
This shit is nothing new, it’s the same vibe we had when Joyce was rooting for Walky and Jennifer to get together.
Same vibe, but done to the face of the new couple is a worse version of it.
Also, someone should ask her if “I’ve always envisioned him with Sarah” applies to when she was crushing on him herself.
maybe this is hangover sarah and it just gives her a very specific headache that turns off the “be insufferable” part of her brain
kinda interesting considering alcohol makes ppl act more of a dick, and i imagine the headache from a hangover would make ppl b*tchier XD;
tho i feel like we’ve seen sarah drunk at least once before? might be misremembering it
The first panel with Joyce suggesting a polycule brought a genuine smile to my face. Not because I prefer polyamory (anymore, I’ve been humbled in that regard), but just her being open-minded about things.
Then the second panel squashed those delusions. Ah, well.
I do love how she says these thoughts out loud that so many people would keep to themselves.
Joyce what the hell lol
Joyces gotta joyce 🤭
I’m trying to figure out if Joyce trying to get them into a polycule so her OTP can happen is more or less weird than Amber getting inspired to write smut based on her friends’ and acquaintances’ relationship tree.
So many people think Sarah’s behavior has something nefarious or chemical behind it but I think she’s just trying to be cool about it. Because what else is she supposed to do?
Throw a fit? Yell at them for getting together when she wasn’t dating Jacob and Lucy didn’t even know she was interested in him? Be angry? Sulk?
She and Jacob had just started to be able to have normal conversations. She’s supposed to torpedo what little relationship they do have because he’s dating someone else?
This is awkward and painful and she clearly doesn’t want to discuss it at all (much less have a group discussion) and I would bet money that she has been chanting “PLEASE JUST DROP IT” in her head for the past two strips.
If it was just about Ignoring It, she could have said “oh good morning,” and acted like nothing was wrong. Being so cheerful has called a lot of attention to the whole situation.
I’m kind of betting on Sarah being happy because a) she’s actually super relieved that she doesn’t have to even worry about trying with Jacob anymore and b) she is full of excitement about all the suffering she is expecting this to cause somebody, someday.
OH. Raidah probably isn’t gonna be happy about Lucy and Jacob, is she? She might especially not be happy that they slept together….
No really mom, please floor it, I’m SCARED.
After panel one I quite literally said “what?” out loud in disbelief.
At this point I think it’s most likely Sarah’s been replaced by aliens or something.
Uhmm… what Sara says in panel three also seems to be a reference to the Faans! comic… there there was a love triangle between a Lawful Good, a True Neutral and a Chaotic Evil character, that ended up in a polycule… the author did at that time write in the comments that he couldn’t bare the pressure of the shippers and the potential hate if he go either way, so ended up with a polygamous arrangement. At least, that’s how i remember it… Harem romantic anime were it never gets a clear resolution was all the rage way back then…
Ally was more chaotic good by that time. And Rumy was neutral good at worst.
Not sure Ally was ever any worse than Chaotic Neutral to begin with.
Probably so, given the Union Jackie reference, but it’s really a very common response to love triangles and it rarely makes any sense.
You’ll have to excuse Joyce, Lucy. You’re not in her main-cast-radar quite yet.
Is this a dream sequence? Please tell me this is a dream sequence.
I guess Joyce here plays the part of the comments section that has a lot of trouble believing Sarah “never wanted a romantic relationship with Jacob.” She wanted to use his body for science, then when she found out he wasn’t into that stuff she settled for having masturbation fantasies about him, then when she found out he was seeing Raidah she wanted them to break up, trying to set him up with Joyce even as Joyce tried to set him up with her; since then she has been nothing but extremely reluctant to talk to him about how she feels because she thinks sitting together in terse silence is as close a relationship as it’s possible for her to have and trying for anything more will drive him away (also she thinks opening up to anyone about anything will hurt her).
My opinion is Sarah has only just realized it might be possible to get to know Jacob and maybe be friends, and she knows that’s something she needs, and she’s been worried she doesn’t know how to do that. But now at least her sexual attraction isn’t going to get in the way, so that removes a lot of the pressure. Also maybe she’s making an effort to be nice so that everyone (Joyce) can calm the hell down about her “losing” Jacob. I’m guessing that’s what’s going to make her blow up in the next strip about two panels from now.
Everything that’s been in Dumbing of Age for fifteen years (as well as basic storytelling conventions) makes me think this is going to go very wrong in the next few weeks because there’s no way Sarah’s grumpy exterior got broken like an interger overflow glitch in a video game.
“My friendliness is backed by NUCLEAR WEAPONS!”
No wonder Sarah is so unnervingly friendly, she went full Gandhi.
Next few weeks comic time or real world time?
Yeah, definitely real world time…
It takes years for us to go through comic time, so yeah, not that one.
“And what happened then?
Well, in Who-ville they say
The Grinch’s small heart
Grew three sizes that day!”
{sfx: flouroscope frame breaks with a kind of *’pyoinggg’*}
Good Joyce with the
couragelack of filter to say what everybody else is thinking.Don’t forget lack of common sense.
Joyce, just congratulate Lucy for her greatest catch of the party.
Not only Sarah is strange today: Joe just entered the Joyce’s playing.
I think this is the first time I felt he’s genuinely changed for her, because Joyce’s dorkiness.
I know this whole Sarah thing is an extreme change of character but uuuuuuuuuuuh what’s going on in Joe’s head in that last panel??
Suspicious Joe
Joyce is such a shipper. Left unchecked, she would try to arrange everyone to hook up with everyone. Were Amber and Joyce ever to team up on this, the entire student population would end up one giant polycule. And Dorothy would be enlisted to get it all on spreadsheet.
She would object on a ethical basis but wouldn’t be able to resist the siren song of spreadsheets.
+1
Are Joe and Lucy glaring at someone offscreen? They both look like they’re aiming glares in the same direction.
Joe is looking at Sarah eyes to see if she has a concussion. Lucy is still processing the batshit think Joyce just said.
Faans reference ftw!
Louder for the people in the back:
POLYAMORY IS NOT A MAGICAL SOLUTION TO ALL RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT!!!
While i *do* wish people would at least reflect whether monogamy is their default or their desire, you should NOT try to fix relationships by using polyamory. Go into polyamory as individuals who choose it freely, not as “well if i want Jacob then i have to be okay with being poly now“, that is unlikely to work out well.
Sarah isn’t a FAAN of polyamory. Heh. Heh.
I’m old.
Hey I am 22 and a got into Faans just 2 years ago.
My thoughts. Sarah had a moment of clarity when she got tipsy to try and talk with Jacob. That was a desperate move and not really like her.
Risk her scholarship? Act that needy? She got a wake up call. She (like Lucy) deserves better. That may mean a relationship with the Other Jacob for now but she can live with that. But not with what she was becoming.
She’s got friends who care about her. Which is new and different for her. Her freshman year left her alone and beyond friendless. She appreciating what she has and values it. Since she’s really isn’t seeking romance now, that she doesn’t have it isn’t a great loss.
She deal with her family unhappiness by succeeding in school. Her friends are an unexpected bonus. Unlike many of the group , she needs to be successful in school. Joyce is floating. Walky is barely trying. Jennifer hardly cares about classes. Sarah’s there for an education.
One of three possibilities.
1. After Settlers of Cataan, Booster did their thing and spoke to Sarah and pointed out all of her faults and failings and fears and defenses and, in her inebriated state with her defenses down, she actually listened to them.
2. She has identified Jacob’s “type” – pleasant, lovely, friendly – and also realized from Raidah that it only needs to be surface deep. She’s not interested in a relationship; just sex. She’s honestly not upset one bit about Lucy and Jacob. She has some plan already in the works that is going to break the two of them up and make Lucy look absolutely awful, which would net Sarah an amazing week or so as “rebound girl.”
3. She actually did have a concussion.
After that, the possibilities get less and less likely, like “Sarah has a secret twin sister we’ve never known about” or “It was only a dream” or “Sarah has been murdered and this is the T-1000 sent back in time to kill David Walkerton and destroy humanity’s last hope against the future robot uprising.”
Actually, considering yesterday’s strip, I’m bumping that last one up to “fourth most likely.”
While I appreciate Joyce’s growth thus far… this is something that she needs to freaking evolve out of quickly: This insistence on her own fantasy being the important thing to come true, and tries to OPENLY rationalize or describe it, but then finish with directly insulting the person who she doesn’t believe belongs in that fantasy.
“This is how I wanted things to be, so here’s a narrative that will make everyone happy (in my eyes) at first, but ultimately exclude you because again, that’s how *I* think it should be.”
Lucy would be justified in saying, “Joyce… F off.”
And here comes the comment thread explaining why this thing Joyce says is actually perfectly normal and really *we’re* the problematic ones for taking issue with it
You shouldn’t upset yourself about imaginary things like this. It’s not healthy.
I don’t think anyone has said that Joyce’s comment was perfectly normal. People have defended polyamory and even objected to the dismissal of it as a solution, but no one seems to be saying “Yeah, that’s definitely what they should do”, especially with Joyce’s plan of “And then they’ll kick Lucy out and it’ll just be Sarah and Jacob”.
Especially when kicking Jacob out is also equally likely…
Sarah learned a valuable lesson about not being an antisocial curmudgeon if you want love.
Oof seems like Sarah is dissociating somehow after becoming the NINTH wheel in their friend group. They all coalesced into 4 couples
Joe should be careful, he’s going to look deeply into Sarah’s beautiful eyes and fall in love. https://www.dumbingofage.com/prettier/
Amazi-Sarah has been born?
Maybe Lucy and Jacob should switch to primarily hanging out with Jacob’s friends…
Panel 5, Sarah’s eyebrows briefly voip into existence.
My guess is Sarah is drunk, and is a kind drunk like Mike in other universes.
Ok, Joyce is leaning hard into the new thing she has learned. She’s rather heavily trying to manifest the future she wants as well, in a kind of a secular and scientific way by talking to the people involved.
Panel 4 Joyce suddenly reminds me of Sette. Sans teeth and tail….
Whonis that?
The thing that makes Sarah so creepy here is that she looks so… genuine. Like, she really is happy for them. Like she’s a completely different person.
Poly is only a solution when partners want different things out of a relationship that the other partner can’t provide, but neither wants to give up the relationship. What’s scary is when your wife and GF get together and talk, then giggle and point at you.
“Polyamory is not a magical solution to all relationship conflict”
I smell a future volume title! (and/or Willis poking a bit of fun at the commenters/shippers)
Honestly, if I were Sarah and trying to turn over a new leaf, and this was how my friends responded, I’d throw my hands up and be like “Man screw you guys, I can’t win no matter what I do.”
Also, Lucy looks pretty upset at Joyce, and she’s very valid for that.
I love Joyce but she’s really crossing some lines here, lol.
I think we broke Sarah, this is more niceness in one strip than she’s exhibited in multiple books. I’m with Joyce I’m calling concussion XD
Joking aside I’m curious to see if Jacob was a wakeup call or if this is her last ditch effort to appeal to him
Lucy: We’re not going to be friends, are we, Joyce?
Joyce: Why? Because you’re a shameless homewrecker?
Joyce is right to be worried. Sudden personality changes can be a sypmtom of some pretty scary conditions.
Oh no, did Sarah fall off a building? Did an evil dad show up and throw her off a building??
This is actually the building, wearing her skin.
how do you even know about eye dilatation, your parents never let you watch anything.