Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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also she wasn't in the strip yet back when joe first made it
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May 22, 2026

Accepting

by David M Willis on January 10, 2025 at 12:01 am
  • 02 – The One Where Jocelyne Returns
└ Tags: joe, joyce

Discussion (266) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    January 10, 2025 at 12:01 am | #

    LMAO IM DEAD XD

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      January 10, 2025 at 8:19 am | #

      Stop pranking us, Willis! We know what comic we’re reading.

      • clif
        clif
        January 10, 2025 at 1:48 pm | #

        But it’s a different comic every day.

  2. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    January 10, 2025 at 12:01 am | #

    “In which universe was this?!”

    XD

    • Amelie Wikström
      Amelie Wikström
      January 10, 2025 at 1:48 am | #

      Haha, busted by the soft retcon

  3. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    January 10, 2025 at 12:02 am | #

    High above them, in geosynchronous orbit over the campus, a RutTech satellite watching their conversation prepares the Meteoric Pie Launcher.

    • Jeremiah
      Jeremiah
      January 10, 2025 at 12:07 am | #

      It misses by a lot because Carla forgot to recalibrate it due to being too gay for her girlfriend to function

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      January 10, 2025 at 12:13 am | #

      Fortunately for the student body, I am pretty sure that satellites can’t get detailed enough photos to read lips. If I recall it has to deal with the problems of differences between the rotations of the Earth and satellite their orbits. The satellite cameras can’t adjust for the speed differences well enough to get a clear shot that detailed – the photo would end up all blurry. I would verify this information, but I don’t want search the internet for details on spy satellites. I don’t need to be on any government watch list.

      • Jeremiah
        Jeremiah
        January 10, 2025 at 12:18 am | #

        Fool! Carla does not abide by such puny things like “Science” and ,”logic” she only answers to the Laws of Carla, which are as follow:

        1. Carla can do whatever she wants.

        2. Go fuck yourself.

        • Jay
          Jay
          January 10, 2025 at 12:25 am | #

          Carla would still not have a spy satellite monitoring for conversations about her, because Carla already knows all conversations are implicitly about her!

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 10, 2025 at 2:37 am | #

            Why use satellites when Rutech nanodrones are more efficient, targeted, and undetectable and are, in fact, watching over your shoulder right now to see what you’re up to on the Internet.

            • Tan
              Tan
              January 10, 2025 at 6:39 am | #

              The age-old question: swarm of nanodrones, or gigadrone?

              • Firseal
                Firseal
                January 14, 2025 at 4:29 pm | #

                Both. The gigadrone is the deployment platform for the nanodrones.

            • Wizard
              Wizard
              January 10, 2025 at 3:42 pm | #

              As we all know, birds aren’t real. So how many of those cleverly disguised avian drones scattered around the campus use RutTech components?

              • NGPZ
                NGPZ
                January 10, 2025 at 6:55 pm | #

                "Voice Key Incorrect."

                "Voice key Incorrect."

        • staszu13
          staszu13
          January 10, 2025 at 4:17 am | #

          I didn’t know Carla did Galassospeak

      • NGPZ
        NGPZ
        January 10, 2025 at 12:51 am | #

        yee, Carla’s an Engineering major who likely has a more than thorough physics understanding

        a spy satellite in low earth orbit could only view a target like Indiana University for about 80 seconds, and will only be able to view it again once 24 hours have passed

        A geostationary satellite can continuously keep focus on the same target, but have such a high orbit above the surface that they can’t resolve things smaller than 6 meters in diameter — good enough to spot tornados, not so much for reading lips XD

        • Adept
          Adept
          January 10, 2025 at 5:51 am | #

          What do you mean with 24 hours here? The ISS for example completes an orbit every 90 minutes.

          • Decidedly Orthogonal
            Decidedly Orthogonal
            January 10, 2025 at 8:40 am | #

            Yes, but after each orbit, a different part of the Earth has rotated into being “under” the satellite.

            • Big Z
              Big Z
              January 10, 2025 at 9:15 am | #

              This! As anyone who’s played too much Kerbal Space Program knows, to keep a satellite in low orbit AND pointed at a specific spot on the ground, you either need to burn a lot of delta-V (not a long-term solution) or you need to have a constellation of satellites.

              Which Carla/Ruttech undoubtedly has.

              • NGPZ
                NGPZ
                January 10, 2025 at 7:55 pm | #

                I mean,

                could you imagine the *actual* implications of a line of low-orbit satellites which take turns spying on the same geostationary target in succession?

                one slip-up would potentially start a chain-reaction in which a massive amount of metal debris would crash into air-craft or even worse with the smoldering heat of atmospheric re-entry and momentum of a literal airborne train off the rails 0-0

                and even ignoring the obvious dangers and rationale for the incredible amount of regulations regarding aerospace, amateurs consistently report satellite orbits online all the time and thus are hardly a reliable strategy for real espionage in the first place XD

          • Aus
            Aus
            January 10, 2025 at 9:15 am | #

            After 90 minutes, it’s gone around the globe, but it’s not over Indiana University. It’s going too fast to be synchronized like that, and it can’t slow down or else it’d crash. That’s what a Geosynchronous orbit is; when you’re at the right distance from Earth that you can go just the right velocity and be over the same places every day.

            You’re still not “parked” in the sky, however, unless you’re in a Geostationary orbit, but that’s only possible over the equator.

            That’s why in movies and such you hear them saying that satellite coverage will begin and end at certain times. Unless you’re spying on Ecuador, there’s no way to just park a satellite over places.

      • Aquila
        Aquila
        January 10, 2025 at 1:59 am | #

        That’s just what they WANT you to think! 😛

        Also, in one public comment, you posted the words “spy sattelite” and “government watch list”, you really think a little Google search is gonna matter after that? (I’m safe because I put them in quotation marks)

        (PS, just to be clear, this conspiracy theorist stuff was intended for humorous effect)

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 10, 2025 at 9:20 am | #

          The fun part about this is, going on Google and typing “dumbingofage.com “spy satellite”” gives your comment as the first result, making you extremely easy to identify with those keywords.

          • True Survivor
            True Survivor
            January 10, 2025 at 12:57 pm | #

            Oh no.
            Well, on the bright-side, it seems likely that eventually Willis will name some strip “spy satellite” and bump me down to second and third.
            Also, is that new Avatar from the Sonic films? Are they any good? I’ve been considering watching them.

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              January 10, 2025 at 2:24 pm | #

              The movies are good, yes. Just don’t go in expecting a life-changing experience and take them for what they are, and you’ll probably enjoy ’em. Nobody gets character assassinated and there’s a cool scene where a guy gets thrown into the stratosphere.

              • NGPZ
                NGPZ
                January 10, 2025 at 8:11 pm | #

                wat the?

                Orange hair Ruth?

                SMASH! >:3

      • Michael Steamweed
        Michael Steamweed
        January 10, 2025 at 8:39 am | #

        Eh, you might as well get yourself onto the government watch lists. You’re already on many corporate watch lists.

        • clif
          clif
          January 10, 2025 at 1:56 pm | #

          Let me see. I can be on a list of someone with no authority over me who wants to sell me stuff. Or I can be on the list of someone who has authority over me and part of whose job is to control me. Hm. Which one should I worry about?

          • Lilith Rose
            Lilith Rose
            January 10, 2025 at 5:52 pm | #

            Worry more about the one who wants to sell you stuff. They’re more likely to bribe people, more likely to decide you’re worth their time, and less likely to have oversight.

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          January 10, 2025 at 9:03 pm | #

          After what I did in my late teens I’m resigned to being on watch lists for the rest of my life. That’s just one consequence of working for the company.

      • Tesset
        Tesset
        January 10, 2025 at 10:16 am | #

        Just go post it on the war thunder forums, then you’ll be in the clear.

      • Davus
        Davus
        January 10, 2025 at 8:27 pm | #

        You are correct that the satalites wouldn’t be good enough to read lips.
        https://what-if.xkcd.com/32/
        but carla has other options, namely the large network of listening devices, or just setting up some strategic mics and cameras.

      • Anonymouse
        Anonymouse
        January 11, 2025 at 12:14 pm | #

        No, there are pointing systems that can stabilize for that motion. The real problem is something called the diffraction limit of the optics. The size of the primary element limits the resolution of the system. The size of the primary element on spy satellites is functionally limited by the faring size of the lifting rocket. The two-meter primary on Hubble is about the uppermost limit on the size of the primary with the modern fleet of heavy-lift rockets. Though Starship, New Glenn, and (too a much lesser extent) SLS are looking to change that.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      January 10, 2025 at 12:26 am | #

      Why bother with satellite photos when half the student body has RutTech on their phones?

      • Clif
        Clif
        January 10, 2025 at 2:37 am | #

        Only half?

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          January 10, 2025 at 4:32 am | #

          Think of RuTech as the Apple of the Dumbiverse. Much better technology and software for way too much money.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          January 10, 2025 at 9:57 am | #

          At least half.

        • Byron Orpheus
          Byron Orpheus
          January 10, 2025 at 2:57 pm | #

          The other half use Ellicott-Chatham technology.

      • Michael Steamweed
        Michael Steamweed
        January 10, 2025 at 8:43 am | #

        Only half of the student body has RutTech on their phones, but the other half are usually within listening distance of those RutTech phones.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          January 10, 2025 at 9:58 am | #

          Exactly. No need to lip-read at all, and you can track locations even when it’s cloudy or they go indoors.

    • jflb96
      jflb96
      January 10, 2025 at 4:06 am | #

      You can only have geosynchronous orbit over the Equator, and it’s too high up to resolve lips with anything that you could sensibly launch without the budget and/or technology of the Imperium of Man.

      You might get lucky if you had something in the right point on its Molniya orbit that it happens to be close enough and pointed in the right direction, but you’d have to be very, very, lucky.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 10, 2025 at 6:46 am | #

        I’m not sure reading lips is even theoretically possible. Even from a lower orbit.
        Atmospheric distortion is a big problem.

    • staszu13
      staszu13
      January 10, 2025 at 4:15 am | #

      Imaging this with Ted Knight doing his Super Friends narration voice

      • StClair
        StClair
        January 10, 2025 at 9:53 pm | #

        MEANWHILE AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE

    • Dark_Panda
      Dark_Panda
      January 10, 2025 at 9:02 am | #

      Nanodrome swarm, yes. Geosynchronous satellite, no. Geosynchronous satellites can only ever be over the equator, on which Indiana is decidedly not.

      (To be perfectly pedantic, a geosync satellite can SEE Indiana, it just cannot be directly overhead.)

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        January 10, 2025 at 9:59 am | #

        But directly overhead is the wrong place to be if you’re trying to read lips.

  4. Animedingo
    Animedingo
    January 10, 2025 at 12:02 am | #

    Honestly fair

  5. RocketRelm
    RocketRelm
    January 10, 2025 at 12:03 am | #

    Carla off screen on the other side of campus having an undying urge to scream bottling up in her throat and she doesn’t know why.

    • staszu13
      staszu13
      January 10, 2025 at 4:19 am | #

      PAPA!!!

  6. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    January 10, 2025 at 12:04 am | #

    This is going to end in a double date and Joe very confused as to why three ladies are yelling at him to fawn over Carla.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      January 10, 2025 at 12:30 am | #

      … who’s the other pair in this double date? Because I can see Becky doing that, but not Dina.

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        January 10, 2025 at 12:38 am | #

        Carla and Charlie.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 10, 2025 at 3:26 am | #

      To be fair, ‘demanding adulation’ is Carla’s default state.

    • Morleuca
      Morleuca
      January 10, 2025 at 8:07 am | #

      I just can’t picture Charlie yelling at…anybody. Like ever.

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        January 10, 2025 at 10:19 am | #

        That’s actually a pretty good point. Okay, Carla and Joyce going “Don’t you know how great Carla is!?” with Charlie sitting there asking Joe “Isn’t my girlfriend the best?”

    • Woof McGee
      Woof McGee
      January 10, 2025 at 11:10 am | #

      If this leads to an intervention for Carla’s narcissistic disorder – I’m in. I don’t think anyone calls billionaires out on stuff like that though.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        January 10, 2025 at 12:35 pm | #

        BRB, having an intervention for my acquaintance’s autism. Gonna have one for my coworker’s schizophrenia next week, and another for my cousin’s PTSD. Y’know, cuz that’s apparently normal and fine to do if we follow the road you’ve paved here.

        • Schpoonman
          Schpoonman
          January 10, 2025 at 5:31 pm | #

          Send the funny van, I’m neurodivergent.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            January 10, 2025 at 7:55 pm | #

            And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats!

            • StClair
              StClair
              January 10, 2025 at 9:55 pm | #

              coming to take you away ha ha

  7. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    January 10, 2025 at 12:04 am | #

    I’m sure this means something to people who read Shortpacked.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 10, 2025 at 12:07 am | #

      In that comic, Joe and Carla were basically the One True Pairing of the story. They hooked up early on and stayed together for the entire run.

      • Radiance
        Radiance
        January 10, 2025 at 12:09 am | #

        Either you’ve mixed up Carla and Rachel or this is some excellent straight-faced trolling.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 10, 2025 at 12:10 am | #

          Who the fuck are you callin’ straight?

          • Rose by Any other Name
            Rose by Any other Name
            January 10, 2025 at 12:21 am | #

            Sorry, gay-faced trolling.
            Better?

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              January 10, 2025 at 6:08 am | #

              Eh, close enough.

          • staszu13
            staszu13
            January 10, 2025 at 4:25 am | #

            Straight faced as in not giggling

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              January 10, 2025 at 5:52 am | #

              Joke’s on you, I was giggling like an absolute loon when I posted it.

        • Nono
          Nono
          January 10, 2025 at 12:11 am | #

          They didn’t even hook up early on (it was basically endgame), so probably the latter.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            January 10, 2025 at 12:14 am | #

            No, Carla and Rachel never hooked up. They flirted a little bit during that one Christmas party, but nothing came of it.

        • Tan
          Tan
          January 10, 2025 at 3:12 am | #

          What you must understand is that Taffy has never left a genuine comment on this website in the history of ever, because they believe that being an asshole to everyone around them is a worthwhile substitute for humor. It is incredibly tiresome, yet unrelenting.

          • Kammon
            Kammon
            January 10, 2025 at 5:22 am | #

            So Taffy is basically Mike?

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              January 10, 2025 at 5:56 am | #

              Mike wishes he were this hot, intelligent, and good at the guitar.

              I also didn’t die before age 20, so that’s something in my favor.

              • Lilith Rose
                Lilith Rose
                January 10, 2025 at 5:54 pm | #

                Got him there. Die-ers are losers.

                • Taffy
                  Taffy
                  January 10, 2025 at 7:58 pm | #

                  The kid literally lost to gravity while he still had a 1 at the start of his age, and it barely inconvenienced the guy he was trying to take down. Utter chump behavior.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            January 10, 2025 at 5:55 am | #

            I leave plenty of genuine comments, you must be refusing to notice them. Really no need to be insulting over a simple gag, stranger.

          • Nymph
            Nymph
            January 10, 2025 at 8:38 pm | #

            I’m not sure why you decided to be genuinely cruel about a joke, but I think you’re mixed up about who the asshole here is.

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              January 10, 2025 at 8:56 pm | #

              Having uncharitable headcanons about real human beings you’ve never interacted with is peculiar, but I try not to kink-shame people.

              • Tan
                Tan
                January 10, 2025 at 11:52 pm | #

                I have literally watched you mock people for daring to take your false answer to their question seriously because they’re “supposed to know better”, If you do not like my assessment of how you act in this comment section, don’t act like that?

                • Taffy
                  Taffy
                  January 11, 2025 at 12:03 am | #

                  That’s weird, I don’t remember doing anything of the sort. If you’re gonna lie, at least make it believable.

        • showler
          showler
          January 10, 2025 at 3:47 am | #

          I legitimately mixed up Rachel and Other Rachel and got confused.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            January 10, 2025 at 6:06 am | #

            Rachel’s the tall one with no personality. Other Rachel’s the hot one with cool hair.

            • MM
              MM
              January 10, 2025 at 8:34 am | #

              Being always angry doesn’t count as a personality?

              • Taffy
                Taffy
                January 10, 2025 at 8:39 am | #

                Not one worth engaging with, anyway. Nobody wants to be around the person who’s constantly pissed off.

        • Michael Steamweed
          Michael Steamweed
          January 10, 2025 at 8:47 am | #

          The latter option…

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            January 10, 2025 at 9:12 am | #

            Tfw six people give the correct answer with slightly different wording but one person gives a wrong answer, knowing the other six will get it right: 🤯

      • Jeremiah
        Jeremiah
        January 10, 2025 at 12:10 am | #

        I can confirm this be one hundred percent accurate, no lies or deception here. Just purely unadulterated truth injected directly into your bloodstream while you were sleeping last night. (Btw you should restock your fridge.)

      • Marianne
        Marianne
        January 10, 2025 at 12:12 am | #

        I’m not sure which comic you were reading, but in Shortpacked there were never any hints of romance between Carla, the CEO of Shortpacked Industries, and Joe, her loyal pastry chef. He was really more of an Alfred Pennyworth type figure.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 10, 2025 at 12:18 am | #

          Oh please, like Batman and Alfred weren’t fucking.

      • Adept
        Adept
        January 10, 2025 at 5:52 am | #

        Trolling like this is pretty low. Not everybody will be slogging through the archives.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 10, 2025 at 5:57 am | #

          Everyone keeps using that word when it doesn’t really apply. I don’t troll, I just occasionally say something that’s blatantly untrue in a completely harmless way. Nobody’s hurt.

          • spriteless aunty
            spriteless aunty
            January 10, 2025 at 9:17 am | #

            what, a white hat troll?

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              January 10, 2025 at 9:23 am | #

              I don’t often wear hats, especially since my hair got past my shoulders. The texture and volume of my hair, when properly cleaned and brushed, seems to magnetically repel headwear. I probably wouldn’t wear a white hat anyhow, for stain-related reasons.

              And again, I don’t troll. At most, it’s sparkling sarcasm.

    • Sarah
      Sarah
      January 10, 2025 at 12:07 am | #

      Yup, in It’s Walky!, Joe and his girlfriend Rachel give an old car a big upgrade in intelligence and combat capabilities to help with the final battle. Said car becomes increasingly more self-aware, sarcastic, and asexual as time goes on, even getting an humanoid body in Shortpacked. That’s Carla! She regards Joe and Rachel as her parents, and they their daughter, it’s very sweet.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        January 10, 2025 at 12:09 am | #

        Yeesh, and I thought my on-the-fly made up answers were outlandish.

        • Jeremiah
          Jeremiah
          January 10, 2025 at 12:13 am | #

          Yes just like I said was also made up, I did not inject anything into anyone’s blood and steel their food so there is not to call the police because that did not happen. ,(You should still restock your fridge, preferably with some meat and cheeses. For not particular reason)

          • Michael Steamweed
            Michael Steamweed
            January 10, 2025 at 8:54 am | #

            So YOU’RE the one who drank all my sambuca soy protein shake!

            • Jeremiah
              Jeremiah
              January 10, 2025 at 2:10 pm | #

              Nah that stuff was gross. I think that was the other guy that break into your house. Nice dude, like to keep in shape.

              • Taffy
                Taffy
                January 10, 2025 at 8:05 pm | #

                There’s something really funny to me about a person breaking into a house, stealing food, and then criticizing the food. It starts off as either off-putting (damn, this weirdo was in my house robbing me) or depressing (damn, they must have been really hungry), and the criticism turns it into like, “Well excuse me, picky-ass”.

      • Lingo
        Lingo
        January 10, 2025 at 12:10 am | #

        Well, it’s actually Ultra-Car, who very much does not like the name “Carla”. (But it looks like Carla.)

      • True Survivor
        True Survivor
        January 10, 2025 at 12:17 am | #

        Wait the car becomes increasingly asexual as time goes on? I would assume that would be a default for an AI stuck in a car. Did they program their car to be horny? That would just be cruel. How would you even give a car sexual gratification? (That last question was rhetorical. Please, I beg you, do not answer it).

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 10, 2025 at 12:21 am | #

          I’ve seen plenty of videos of women fucking the stick shift of their cars without sentience involved. Just simply add some sensors to that and make a number go up every so often while she does it, problem solved.

        • NGPZ
          NGPZ
          January 10, 2025 at 1:47 am | #

          I mean, have you SEEN Malaya and UltraCar in Shortpacked?!?! XD

          • Mr.Morningstar
            Mr.Morningstar
            January 10, 2025 at 3:24 am | #

            To be fair that shit got surprisingly graphic for how off screen it was.

    • jsarat
      jsarat
      January 10, 2025 at 12:08 am | #

      carla was actually for real joes robot daughter in shortpacked

    • Ravian
      Ravian
      January 10, 2025 at 12:10 am | #

      In the other continuity Joe (and Rachel) literally were responsible for making Ultra Car (or at least endowing her with sentience) and she effectively is his daughter

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        January 10, 2025 at 12:11 am | #

        What is this, some kinda comments section kayfabe meme?

        • staszu13
          staszu13
          January 10, 2025 at 4:28 am | #

          Nope, that’s a shoot

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            January 10, 2025 at 7:11 am | #

            I’ve read that term a few times in another comic, but I’m still not entirely clear on what it is. The Wikipedia article says it’s any real occurrence that happens during a scripted match, but then it goes into a buncha terms I’m equally unfamiliar with, so I’m not sure if like, Stone Cold eating shit because he timed a grab badly counts or if it’s supposed to be something like Goldust just deciding to dive onto him from the rafters for attention.

            • Shadowsnail
              Shadowsnail
              January 10, 2025 at 10:25 am | #

              Stunning Steve Austin consuming Hunter Hearst Helmsley’s feces was truly a pivotal moment in the history of World Wildlife Foundation wrestling.

              • Taffy
                Taffy
                January 10, 2025 at 12:12 pm | #

                Y’know-

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              January 11, 2025 at 1:27 am | #

              A shoot is intentional, so Stone Cold timing a grab badly and falling wouldn’t count but someone intentionally diving from the rafters would be if it wasn’t planned. It would also be VERY dangerous if it wasn’t planned but well. Sometimes wrestlers act like they hate their bodies.

        • Adept
          Adept
          January 10, 2025 at 5:55 am | #

          I wish I could block you Taffy. Life’s too short for shitposts.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            January 10, 2025 at 5:59 am | #

            You could try not reading my comments and choosing to be personally affected. 🤷

          • Scolopendra
            Scolopendra
            January 10, 2025 at 7:05 pm | #

            Amen.

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              January 10, 2025 at 7:21 pm | #

              Y’all act so entitled sometimes. Nobody’s got a gun to your head, forcing you to read things from somebody with joy in their life. If you’re so offended by mirth, look away.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      January 10, 2025 at 12:13 am | #

      Oh? … OHHHHH. Now I feel better that she wasn’t on his gross list.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      January 10, 2025 at 12:15 am | #

      Good troll.

      Joe and Rachel are Carla’s parents.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        January 10, 2025 at 12:17 am | #

        She’s older than Joe, the timeline just doesn’t work out.

        • Jeremiah
          Jeremiah
          January 10, 2025 at 12:21 am | #

          Your mom just doesn’t work out! (Ignore this id your mother is actually ripped)

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            January 10, 2025 at 12:24 am | #

            For a lady of a certain age, she actually is fairly jacked. If it weren’t for her metal leg, she’d be lifting more than me.

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        January 10, 2025 at 12:28 am | #

        I actually didn’t know what to believe at first. I kinda guessed Carla was maybe Joe’s daughter but considering Walky and Joyce apparently married and had a kid who wants to bang Dorothy who went to the future, I knew anything was possible. Your comment matches a few other replies that I guess Carla was Joe and Rachel’s kid? I kinda still don’t get it.

        • Jeremiah
          Jeremiah
          January 10, 2025 at 12:35 am | #

          Joe made Ultra Car, an sentient futuristic car thing, that later in short packed gets a robot body and gat is how we get Carla (Carla is trans because Ultra Car was treated as male for most her existence and when she got a body it was a looking female one. She also got in a relationship with Malaya that for troubled because Carla wasn’t into sex nor did she have the anatomy to do it. They resolved that by just using her giant pie throwing gloves robot hand that come out of her chest as a sex toy).

          • staszu13
            staszu13
            January 10, 2025 at 4:30 am | #

            Added item of interest: the first Ultra Car was Danny’s old car.

            Poor Danny is truly the Rodney Dangerfield of the Two Willisverses, no respect

            • Michael Steamweed
              Michael Steamweed
              January 10, 2025 at 8:58 am | #

              So Danny was the first one to be inside Carla, you’re sayin’?

              • Michael Steamweed
                Michael Steamweed
                January 11, 2025 at 8:36 am | #

                And with tomorrow’s strip, my words are shown as prophecy.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 10, 2025 at 12:37 am | #

          Joe had a car, then some stuff happened in the comic I didn’t read so the car was sentient, and then the car wound up at the toy store and got a cute girl body and started fingering Malaya in public.

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 10, 2025 at 2:42 am | #

            Eh. Close enough.

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              January 10, 2025 at 6:17 am | #

              One of these days, maybe I’ll read It’s Walky! instead of reading Roomies! and then skipping directly to Shortpacked!. I’ve browsed it here and there, but never given it a full front-to-back, for whatever reason.

              • Theluxland
                Theluxland
                January 10, 2025 at 8:07 am | #

                This is probably the grossest way you could say that but it horrifyingly works

                • Taffy
                  Taffy
                  January 10, 2025 at 8:11 am | #

                  What, “front-to-back”? I said that because it’s a comic, not whatever weird context you thought of.

      • staszu13
        staszu13
        January 10, 2025 at 4:21 am | #

        In the universe possibly taken over by Soggies, yes. But alas, here Rachel has barely spoken to Joe and not in a friendly manner. And Joe is no closer to being an engineer than I am to being Head Alien

    • Shakes
      Shakes
      January 10, 2025 at 12:28 am | #

      I believe this is the point where I insinuate the car is Amazi-Girl.

      • Random832
        Random832
        January 10, 2025 at 3:45 am | #

        Wasn’t Ultra-Car a banned word back in the day because so many people kept saying Amazi-Girl was Ultra-Car?

        • staszu13
          staszu13
          January 10, 2025 at 4:22 am | #

          Yes. I do believe the current poll is an homage to that

    • staszu13
      staszu13
      January 10, 2025 at 4:20 am | #

      Actually, It’s Walky too. Or Joyce and Walky

    • Mark
      Mark
      January 10, 2025 at 7:40 am | #

      Wow, lots of new material here, and I just read the entire run of Shortpacked! books. I guess I should be breathlessly awaiting the announcement of more books.

  8. Sarah
    Sarah
    January 10, 2025 at 12:04 am | #

    Age has never stopped me from claiming fictional characters as my children. 300 years old? Still my baby. Maybe Joe’s like that but for his actual classmates and peers /s

  9. Jeremiah
    Jeremiah
    January 10, 2025 at 12:04 am | #

    Carla would be insulted and offended at the notion someone doesn’t know who she is, we all should contemplate Carla at all times. Contemplate I said!

    • Matthew Davis
      Matthew Davis
      January 10, 2025 at 2:05 am | #

      That’s what I was coming here to say. Joe not knowing “which one” Carla is cuts her to the quick far more than anything else.

    • Michael Steamweed
      Michael Steamweed
      January 10, 2025 at 9:00 am | #

      *cue Carla showing up, splatting a pie into Joe’s face, and skating off into the distance.

  10. Taigan
    Taigan
    January 10, 2025 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh, Carla would be *so* upset to hear that!

  11. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    January 10, 2025 at 12:07 am | #

    I love being able to search multiple characters. Joe and Carla appear in three strips together, and the only time they’re in the same panel only Joe’s arm is visible.

    • AlexanderHammil
      AlexanderHammil
      January 10, 2025 at 12:25 pm | #

      literally the most pertinent next line joyce could have was “she helped me when i lost my toenail” and that’s hilarious

      • Shade
        Shade
        January 10, 2025 at 5:19 pm | #

        Don’t forget her shower shoes.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          January 10, 2025 at 11:21 pm | #

          “Carla helped me with my jugs.”

  12. IntangibleMatter
    IntangibleMatter
    January 10, 2025 at 12:09 am | #

    The title text and last panel make this for me. Goes from potential discussion of transphobia/genital preference in sexuality/etc to just a fucking hilarious gag. 10/10.

  13. Nono
    Nono
    January 10, 2025 at 12:10 am | #

    Carla now knows that there’s someone who doesn’t even know she exists, and for that, vengeance will come.

    • Mark
      Mark
      January 10, 2025 at 7:42 am | #

      Hope Carla didn’t throw away the “CARLA! <-" sign.

  14. BBCC
    BBCC
    January 10, 2025 at 12:12 am | #

    Oh god, Joe is going to get owned SO hard by Carla.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      January 10, 2025 at 12:14 am | #

      Carla is thrown by how much he looks like her dad, which is just Joe with a mustache.

      • sultryglebe
        sultryglebe
        January 10, 2025 at 12:21 am | #

        With a long-lost brother who may have gone to medical school and recently remarried.

        • Charles Phipps
          Charles Phipps
          January 10, 2025 at 12:33 am | #

          “Your mother is just Rachel with red hair!”

          • staszu13
            staszu13
            January 10, 2025 at 4:32 am | #

            I didn’t know the Ruttens made an appearance, here or in the Patreon stuff

            • MM
              MM
              January 10, 2025 at 8:36 am | #

              I think this is just speculation. Speculation that I am 100% in support of making canon, but…

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              January 10, 2025 at 4:26 pm | #

              They haven’t. And Carla’s a natural blonde so her mom would probably have blonde hair if she got her hair from her.

              • Needfuldoer
                Needfuldoer
                January 10, 2025 at 9:53 pm | #

                Her dad appeared in a bonus strip years ago (it was about her Ultra Car toy), but his head was out of frame.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  January 10, 2025 at 10:26 pm | #

                  Okay, that’s true. No faces yet is a more accurate version of what I meant.

    • Nono
      Nono
      January 10, 2025 at 12:22 am | #

      On the other hand Charlie didn’t know Carla existed and look how that turned out.

  15. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    January 10, 2025 at 12:14 am | #

    I maintain Joe and Rachel are alternateverse parents of Carla.

    Alternatively, they’re like Joyce’s Pharmacist and her wife, and eerily similar to them.

    • Hoboturtle
      Hoboturtle
      January 10, 2025 at 12:21 am | #

      Give them a longer beard and say they’re Joe’s uncle.

    • EtchJetty
      EtchJetty
      January 10, 2025 at 11:20 am | #

      The post-scratch incarnations of Joe and Rachel, who have conveniently changed their last names and also their faces and appearances.

  16. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    January 10, 2025 at 12:16 am | #

    This is fucking hilarious as a callback.

    Also, I wonder if he genuinely didn’t put her on the list due to not knowing who the fuck she is, or if he did know, and just has since forgotten. Still, it’s interesting to get confirmation, since Carla elected to not look if she was on the list and we otherwise hadn’t really heard anything past that.

    • Nono
      Nono
      January 10, 2025 at 12:23 am | #

      I assume Joe updated his list on the fly (seeing as how he wanted to add Rachel later on), so he presumably just never really crossed paths with Carla. Which makes sense since her room is at the end of the hall, and she’s a sophomore so they wouldn’t have had any classes in common.

      • Jon
        Jon
        January 10, 2025 at 1:36 am | #

        But on the flip side, Carla also makes a point of ensuring people know who she is. Being outgoing and hogging all the attention is kind of her “thing” so I would honestly still be a little surprised if Joe had truly never encountered her.

        • Nono
          Nono
          January 10, 2025 at 2:11 am | #

          It’s possible that Carla only really acts this way around women (and Booster). Joe is beneath her interest, so she doesn’t even need him to notice her.

  17. bwooom
    bwooom
    January 10, 2025 at 12:17 am | #

    I should probably read the Walkyverse comics before the apparent dimensional leaks in Joe’s brain make the two universes crash into each other.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 10, 2025 at 3:30 am | #

      Crisis on Infinite Walkyverses

      • staszu13
        staszu13
        January 10, 2025 at 4:34 am | #

        Ooooooo I like that one!

  18. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    January 10, 2025 at 12:18 am | #

    “Don’t know what’d make me pissier– being on there or not being on there.”

    …aaaaand that’s another of the unsolved DoA mysteries checked off the list.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      January 10, 2025 at 12:26 am | #

      Huh, my mind was so busy clocking the Dumbiverse call-back that it completely forgot to clock the Walkyverse continuity nod. I’m getting rusty.

      • JR
        JR
        January 10, 2025 at 12:36 am | #

        That happens to older cars.

    • CidGregor
      CidGregor
      January 10, 2025 at 1:16 am | #

      Well shit that’s a hell of a mystery no one thought was a mystery and didn’t even really need solving but damn if it didn’t just get solved so nice work.

      • Songbird
        Songbird
        January 10, 2025 at 11:40 pm | #

        I see what you did there. Nice pull. lol

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      January 10, 2025 at 7:13 am | #

      It makes Mandy’s comment in that strip about “Well, all the women” a bit suspicious.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        January 10, 2025 at 9:10 am | #

        But who’s the suspicion aimed at? Joe, for not including Carla? Or Mandy, for potentially not counting Carla as “the women”?

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          January 10, 2025 at 3:01 pm | #

          If she wasn’t on the list and Mandy says “all the women” were I think that’s on Mandy.
          I’d say she could have just missed someone, but she was right there in the same strip.

      • Michael Steamweed
        Michael Steamweed
        January 10, 2025 at 9:13 am | #

        Could go either way. Carla on the list, Joe didn’t know her name, so she had a nickname. Or Carla not on the list, probably since Joe hadn’t met/noticed her.

        • BorkBorkBork
          BorkBorkBork
          January 10, 2025 at 6:48 pm | #

          EVERYBODY had a nickname on Joe’s list. Nobody had their actual names. That’s why it’s 100% believable that Joe has no idea who Joyce is talking about.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            January 10, 2025 at 7:16 pm | #

            That’s not true. Some of them did have their real names on it. Joyce noted Dorothy did.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            January 10, 2025 at 11:26 pm | #

            But Joyce doesn’t recall Carla being on the list. I guess it’s possible she was under a nickname and Joyce misremembered or didn’t place the nickname/description as Carla, but it’s a weird fakeout to set it up this way, if she actually was.

  19. Claire
    Claire
    January 10, 2025 at 12:32 am | #

    This is a very funny way to do this. A++

  20. Qube
    Qube
    January 10, 2025 at 12:32 am | #

    the myopic nepobaby, surely you’ve noticed her? she’d throw a fit otherwise

  21. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    January 10, 2025 at 12:37 am | #

    “My do list didn’t do names! I kept anonymity very clear.”

    “You described having sex with the British Teacher’s Assistant that was a feisty redhead.”

    “I wonder whatever happened to her.”

    • Thomas
      Thomas
      January 10, 2025 at 1:23 am | #

      Joyce has memorized Joe’s Do List. She autistic or what? Or maybe just a pornographic memory?

      • Matthew Davis
        Matthew Davis
        January 10, 2025 at 2:07 am | #

        Yes.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 10, 2025 at 3:32 am | #

        She’s good at memorizing long bodies of text, and recalling excerpts on the fly.

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        January 10, 2025 at 10:23 am | #

        She did draw a penis on someone’s whiteboard post-WBDDB reveal without even looking at the board.

    • staszu13
      staszu13
      January 10, 2025 at 4:35 am | #

      Got an eye patch, took over a secret organization of British ninjas, retired

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 10, 2025 at 4:31 pm | #

      Some of the entries did have real names on the list. Dorothy was listed under her’s iirc.

    • anon
      anon
      January 10, 2025 at 5:22 pm | #

      She got fired right? wonder if she’ll show up working in a diff store they visit lol, if she didnt go back to england (did she have an accent/uk upbringing too? i don’t remember)

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        January 10, 2025 at 8:46 pm | #

        There’s a bonus strip where she goes to Galassos for a drink but can’t afford it and the bartender is female so she can’t flirt her way to one.

        • anon
          anon
          January 16, 2025 at 6:34 pm | #

          @charles sounds like ‘skill issue’ to me 8D; i’m sure there are ppl who flirti wh t the bar tender either way but normally you’d flirt with a guy /at / the bar to buy you a drink rather than cutting out the middleman

  22. Lysbeth
    Lysbeth
    January 10, 2025 at 12:42 am | #

    The one who’s definitely not Spider-car

  23. ian livs
    ian livs
    January 10, 2025 at 1:31 am | #

    I do have friends who are “like a younger sibling to me” despite them being older, lmao (I know this is a joke in reference to the other ‘verse but still)

  24. AbacusWizard
    AbacusWizard
    January 10, 2025 at 1:37 am | #

    I do! I understood that reference!

  25. EpochFlame
    EpochFlame
    January 10, 2025 at 1:40 am | #

    the walkyverse is bleeding through

  26. bcb
    bcb
    January 10, 2025 at 1:40 am | #

    Oh my Cheese I love the callback!

    • Jeremiah
      Jeremiah
      January 10, 2025 at 1:46 am | #

      Yours mom is the cheese! (Funnily enough I stopped reading it’s Walky around the end game so I really don’t know who the cheese was)

      • Clif
        Clif
        January 10, 2025 at 2:47 am | #

        It was Walky all along.

      • staszu13
        staszu13
        January 10, 2025 at 4:37 am | #

        David something. Here’s in the Dumbiverse as a youth pastor. He didn’t get to be a godlike being with abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He probably didn’t frak Linda either

        • Proxiehunter
          Proxiehunter
          January 10, 2025 at 4:45 pm | #

          There’s still time. Sal and Walky need more drama in their lives, right?

  27. Corronchilejano
    Corronchilejano
    January 10, 2025 at 1:52 am | #

    I had to go back and look, and yes, Carla is aware Joe exists, but probably never made a fuzz for not being on the list because what the list was for and what it meant.

    On the other hand, Joe genuinely does not seem to have ever seen Carla except for one time where she helped Joyce with her messed up fingernail and maybe he saw her through the corner of his eye, and by then Joe had other things in his mind.

    • cachew sequel
      cachew sequel
      January 10, 2025 at 4:13 am | #

      iirc she said something like “I don’t know what would be worse, me being on there or me not being on there”. also Joe not recognizing Carla by name here honestly doesn’t mean all that much given that his do-list was full of nicknames anyway.

  28. Amelie Wikström
    Amelie Wikström
    January 10, 2025 at 1:53 am | #

    Wait, I remember Carla didn’t want to know if she was on the list or not, but she probably had no idea who Joe was either.

  29. Fuzzy
    Fuzzy
    January 10, 2025 at 2:24 am | #

    Joyce noticed Carla was the only girl not on his Do List and held that information in her brain, contextless, until yesterday(?) when she found out Carla’s trans and went “Is that why she wasn’t on the list?!”

    (I think it was yesterday, I can’t remember.)

    • Kelibath
      Kelibath
      January 10, 2025 at 9:00 am | #

      Autistic, can absolutely confirm.

  30. Maddie B
    Maddie B
    January 10, 2025 at 2:34 am | #

    Carla won’t like it if she finds out that someone wasn’t aware of that she’s Carla.

    • PedanticJerkass
      PedanticJerkass
      January 10, 2025 at 2:42 am | #

      Joe forgot that she’s HER.

  31. Mr.Morningstar
    Mr.Morningstar
    January 10, 2025 at 3:21 am | #

    …..oh yeah, Joe DID make ultra car in the walkyverse, nice little nod

    Also it’s interesting that you forget that some of these people have genuinely never interacted with each other, like it’s crazy that Joe and Carla have genuinely not met each other.

  32. Kyulen
    Kyulen
    January 10, 2025 at 3:32 am | #

    Carla’s gonna be upset to find out that Joe doesn’t know who she is. I’m pretty sure she thinks everyone on campus should know who she is, somehow.

    • Amós Batista
      Amós Batista
      January 10, 2025 at 6:08 am | #

      I won’t accept anything lesser than Carla coding a robot to knock onbhis door. A robot like a Gundan…

      • Vulcanodon
        Vulcanodon
        January 10, 2025 at 6:10 am | #

        And deliver a pie

  33. Da Boy
    Da Boy
    January 10, 2025 at 3:39 am | #

    I can hear Carla’s ego shattering from here.

  34. Nullset
    Nullset
    January 10, 2025 at 3:42 am | #

    She wasn’t on his DO list because he already did her.

  35. staszu13
    staszu13
    January 10, 2025 at 4:13 am | #

    Oh I see what you did there, Willis. The Walkyverse is subtly influencing the lives of its Dumbiverse equivalents! A prelude, perhaps to Head Alien II’s invasion of the Dumbiverse? BWA HA HA HA

    • clif
      clif
      January 10, 2025 at 5:10 am | #

      I keep waiting.

  36. Daibhid C
    Daibhid C
    January 10, 2025 at 5:49 am | #

    “It’s kind of weird to randomly declare that Carla’s a rela… Oh. Ohhhhhh.“

    • Kelibath
      Kelibath
      January 10, 2025 at 8:59 am | #

      Absolutely came to say. Then again, well-meaning bad advice was bad, too.

  37. TheCozburger
    TheCozburger
    January 10, 2025 at 5:58 am | #

    #WellPlayedWillis

  38. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    January 10, 2025 at 6:06 am | #

    Really Joe didn’t knew who is Carla?
    She is so flamboyant, she makes everyone knows about her. And Joe had hit any girl in front of him.
    What a excuse.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 10, 2025 at 6:12 am | #

      I know what you meant, but the image of Joe hitting every woman he sees is certainly something. The audience would probably take his current Good Boy™ behavior a lot differently.

  39. Vulcanodon
    Vulcanodon
    January 10, 2025 at 6:15 am | #

    Joyce must have studied that list pretty well.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 10, 2025 at 6:46 am | #

      What do ya suppose the grading metric would be if she got quizzed on it?

    • Michael Steamweed
      Michael Steamweed
      January 10, 2025 at 8:35 am | #

      Joyce has long wondered what her own original score was, before she hurt Joe and he downgraded her to whatever her lower score was.

      • Michael Steamweed
        Michael Steamweed
        January 10, 2025 at 9:17 am | #

        Found it: Zero-minus.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      January 10, 2025 at 10:25 am | #

      In the intervening months between the list going fully public and Joyce finding out Carla is transgender: “She is scalding hot, why wouldn’t Joe want to do her?”

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        January 10, 2025 at 12:14 pm | #

        Now that you mention it, Joyce did notice Carla’s boobs getting bigger, implying she’s been looking often enough to know the difference.

  40. DJTsurugi
    DJTsurugi
    January 10, 2025 at 7:00 am | #

    as a trans girl, I can sympathize, though Carla can get with anyone she wants. ~<3

  41. Kitsune
    Kitsune
    January 10, 2025 at 7:42 am | #

    I got that reference

  42. Shogo
    Shogo
    January 10, 2025 at 7:55 am | #

    I can’t really remember if the list took the personalities of the girls he interacted with into account or not. If not, then I think she’d do well. Though I’m a little biased since women wearing glasses is one of my weaknesses. If personality was accounted for? I think it’d be a pretty big hit to her score. Carla is insufferably obnoxious. Well, to me. This is all pretty subjective.

    • spriteless aunty
      spriteless aunty
      January 10, 2025 at 9:38 am | #

      Joyce was the only one with a rating based on anything but looks.

  43. Kelibath
    Kelibath
    January 10, 2025 at 8:57 am | #

    Alternative panel 4:

    “Carla?? She’s like a SISTER to me!”

    “-I wouldn’t call her that. She got all touchy about it.”

  44. Dark_Panda
    Dark_Panda
    January 10, 2025 at 9:06 am | #

    Joe’s beard shadow has grown to cover his neck. And, even more disturbingly, his ears.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 10, 2025 at 9:08 am | #

      Oh, like you don’t have ear stubble. ‘Fess up, it’s like steel wool isn’t it.

    • Michael Steamweed
      Michael Steamweed
      January 10, 2025 at 9:18 am | #

      Yeesh, shaving my ears is always the trickiest part of the day.

  45. TheFlamingonator
    TheFlamingonator
    January 10, 2025 at 11:04 am | #

    Carla skates too fast, Joe never caught a glimpse

  46. Juanoku
    Juanoku
    January 10, 2025 at 11:12 am | #

    She’s too fucking fast, he just hasn’t seen her. which is still surprising considering how loud she tends to be

    • TheFlamingonator
      TheFlamingonator
      January 10, 2025 at 11:13 am | #

      Great minds, great minds

  47. Dana W
    Dana W
    January 10, 2025 at 12:04 pm | #

    I expect Joe has genital preferences. And Carla’s status is unknown. These days demonizing people for genital preference has gotten way out of hand. You are attracted to what you are attracted to.

    “I” am trans, had my surgery decades ago. I once jokingly said in a trans forum I only had one thing that was a requirement in my relationship, My girlfriend to not have a p*nis. My PARTNER is also trans, also post op. Was my personal egg cracker back in the 90s. So NOT a transphobe.

    I received a torrent of insane hate mail, how that made me a reprehensible bigot and no better than a N*zi. Years later I’m still shocked. I thought were were allowed to pick what we were and were not attracted to.

    • AndroidDreams
      AndroidDreams
      January 10, 2025 at 12:21 pm | #

      This is a sensible conversation we’re going to have to have as a bigger society at some point because I have been surrounded by trans friends for the past 15 years and have only really been in sensible, calm situations, but when I hear lesbians having a main issue of “A trans lesbian was coercing me into sleeping with them” and as you said, some people calling genital preference transphobic, I think that we need to really clear the air so we can tackle actual, horrible transphobia down the line. There is a major distinction in transphobia that it is transphobic to treat someone with disrespect and malice based on their gender identity, it is NOT transphobic to have a personal preference.

      I can understand people feeling threatened/excluded when they are told they are not accepting of trans people because they do not feel attracted to that person.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        January 10, 2025 at 12:30 pm | #

        Kinda smells like sour grapes sometimes, innit?

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 10, 2025 at 12:26 pm | #

      People get bent out of shape if you don’t like dicks, even when you have a girlfriend. Statistically, most girlfriends don’t have wieners (I checked. Personally. 😐), so it’s really not a problem if you’re just not looking for that. Anyone who says otherwise or feels the need to police your preferences probably has a fucked-up dick that looks like every Tetris piece at once, anyway.

      • Dana W
        Dana W
        January 10, 2025 at 1:07 pm | #

        We are all supposed to be accepting, I understand that, its a laudable goal, but some people like some plumbing. Nobody is entitled to sex no matter their view on it.

        Its all part of the way some bi people think everybody would be bi if they just loosened up. Or some men who think gay women wouldn’t be gay if they would just try THEM. Or straight women who have a fetish over the idea of “fixing” gay men.

        I used to be very militant about this, but it all boils down to the classic meme. “Let people like things”

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          January 10, 2025 at 2:32 pm | #

          Also like, if one person doesn’t wanna fuck you, there are literally billions of other people. No need to go pasting tags on every single one who won’t let ya pipe ’em up, just simply find a different one.

        • Regret
          Regret
          January 10, 2025 at 2:34 pm | #

          “Let people like things”
          I like the way you think.
          It balanced out “No is a full and proper sentence”. Of course we get to not want things without explaining ourselves, but we should remember that doesn’t exclude liking things.

          Alice: I would like to have your penis inside my vagina.
          Bob: I don’t have a penis.
          Alice: Bummer, no sex then.
          Bob: Awww 🙁

          Perfectly fine interaction. And so is this:

          Alice: I would like to have your penis inside my vagina.
          Bob: My penis is at your service.
          Alice: A wizard’s staff has a knob on the end!

          And so is this:

          Alice: I would like to have your penis inside my vagina.
          Bob: No thanks.
          Alice: Aww 🙁

          I probably shouldn’t even try to write smut…

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      January 10, 2025 at 3:16 pm | #

      It’s a real issue, made worse by a lot of transphobes who use genital preference as a transparent mask for their transphobia (or to define orientation as in “lesbians don’t want dick”).

      Not to mention others who fetishize it.

      • Jeremiah
        Jeremiah
        January 10, 2025 at 4:42 pm | #

        Yeah thanks that is a part of the issue I fell was being a bit sweep under the rug a bit.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 10, 2025 at 5:27 pm | #

        Yeah, sometimes genital preferences (and sexual/romantic preferences in general – see the conversation on racial ones) DO go hand in hand with bigotry. Preferences don’t exist in a vacuum. That doesn’t mean you have to date/fuck/whatever someone you’re not interested in or that you can ‘help’ it but if we’re gonna have that conversation then it’s not as simple as ‘just accept people have preferences and aren’t bigoted’.

    • yak
      yak
      January 10, 2025 at 3:45 pm | #

      Quite possible. ‘The list’ was also basically a way to spray his machismo everywhere, which definitely tends to come with a lot of transphobia. I expect that even if Joe didn’t personally have a genital preference or didn’t really think about it, he wouldn’t have included Carla in the list.

      As for people in the online trans “community” treating each other like dirt over small things like this… yeah, basically par for the course. I hope more people in that world can find community elsewhere.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 10, 2025 at 4:33 pm | #

      Sure, but the list is for ranking women by their attractiveness. Even if Joe does have a genital preference, not including Carla would still be transphobic since he listed other women he didn’t find attractive for one reason or another, just with a note about why.

      Of course, including her would just include her in his misogyny so. No real win there.

      • BorkBorkBork
        BorkBorkBork
        January 10, 2025 at 6:39 pm | #

        If you call it a “list for ranking women by their attractiveness,” you’re stating that the only qualification is that they are women.

        But it’s not. That’s an assumption you’re making. Not every woman that Joe knows is on the list. His mother, you can be sure, is not; nor are his grandmothers. I’m sure there are plenty of old teachers, neighbors, casual aquaintences, etc. who are not on the list.

        It’s a “do list.” I would assume that the only qualification for being on the “do list” is if you are a person who Joe would ‘do,’ and the rank at which Joe would ‘do’ them. If Joe would not ‘do’ them, they are not on the list. There was only one zero, and that was Joyce, and that was only because she was much higher up before Joe was hurt, and dropped her to a “zero minus.”

        It is not transphobic to not be attracted to a person who is trans. People are attracted to who they are attracted to. To try to shame someone into being attracted to something they’re not, is essentially conversion therapy.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 10, 2025 at 7:22 pm | #

          Nobody ever said Joyce was the only zero and women Joe didn’t find fuckable were included on the list. The ‘Do List’ is not a private list for Joe to categorize women he wanted to fuck. It was a list with an RSS feed and subscribers to try to help guys get laid. Hence ranking the women he knew by hotness. No, he probably doesn’t have his mom or grandma specifically on there but he did mention he had older women on there and there were women he did not find attractive – hence their low scores. Joyce was a 4 before she got dropped to a zero but nobody ever said she was definitely the only zero. Joyce ASKED if she was and Joe ran away so he wouldn’t have to tell her she was originally a four (though could be ‘fixed’ with his dick, ugh, early Joe sucks).

          A list of people you’re attracted to not having any trans women on it is one thing. A list of women ranked by attractiveness only excluding the one out trans woman in the dorm at the time? That’s something else and it isn’t good.

          • BorkBorkBork
            BorkBorkBork
            January 10, 2025 at 7:38 pm | #

            Joyce said that she was the only zero. Joe corrected her and said “zero minus.” It was on the same strip that had that “What was I before I hurt you Joe?” line.

            I don’t remember a single thing about Joe having a subscriber list and a network of dudes who are all using his list to try to get laid. Outside of Danny, Joe *has* no male friends. Jacob is really more of a guy he works out with at the same time. The RSS was created when Joe and Danny were far, far younger, and considering how Joe freaks out that it got out, I doubt that anyone but Danny has anything to do with it.

            No one is arguing that the “do list” is good. I’m simply arguing that the act of not including someone on a list where you put potential partners down on, does not mean that you are prejudiced against them. It simply means you dont see them as a potential partner.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              January 10, 2025 at 8:47 pm | #

              Joyce asked ‘Am I the only zero?’ and Joe doesn’t answer her, he deflects saying zero minus. That’s not confirmation she’s the only zero.

              In the first strip the list is mentioned, Joe asks Danny if he’s subscribed to the RSS feed. It’s not a private ‘potential partner’ list. It’s a ‘how to bang’ guide that includes people Joe doesn’t find attractive. If it was limited to people he wanted to have sex with, there’d be no reason for the ‘low scorers’ to be included at all.

              Not wanting Carla as a partner is one thing. Not including her in a list of the women you know that includes every other woman in the wing organized by ‘fuckability’ because she’s trans is something else. Even if he put Carla as a zero or included her but with a note saying not his type or whatever, that would be different. Still gross because misogyny and objectification but it wouldn’t raise the question of if he sees Carla as a woman the way excluding her does.

  48. DashWallkick
    DashWallkick
    January 10, 2025 at 1:52 pm | #

    This is going to be very funny if Joe just straight up never ran into her and Joyce is trying to gender studies him because she’s insecure about how bad she’s being about trans issues compared to everyone else.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      January 10, 2025 at 3:23 pm | #

      It’s possible, but if he had literally everyone else on the floor, I’d be suspicious too.
      If she was just one of a bunch of the women missing, then it’s perfectly reasonable.

    • yak
      yak
      January 10, 2025 at 3:49 pm | #

      She’s really not, though. She’s just overthinking.

      Joe’s also making a good point, regardless of his stance on trans issues, he’s still meeting Joyce’s relative for the first time and he’s mostly being polite.

  49. Poyo
    Poyo
    January 10, 2025 at 3:07 pm | #

    LMAOOOOOO thats so funny

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 10, 2025 at 8:00 pm | #

      I love how easily he gives up the bit. Not sure why, but that makes it so much funnier.

  50. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    January 10, 2025 at 8:43 pm | #

    Yeah, Joyce I think measuring how transphobic Joe is by how much he wants to **** someone or not is not the right way to handle that.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 10, 2025 at 8:53 pm | #

      Ooh, four asterisks. Love a guessing game, me. Let’s see, is the word “burp”?

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        January 10, 2025 at 9:50 pm | #

        It’s not bongo.

        Bingo?

    • S.R.
      S.R.
      January 10, 2025 at 11:16 pm | #

      Well, if he had made a list ranking every local woman except the one trans woman by hotness, that /would/ mean something. So it’s not an unreasonable line of thought.
      (I don’t recall how thorough said list was.)

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        January 10, 2025 at 11:28 pm | #

        True. I suppose it seems to be validating too much of sexual desirability as a gender reaffirming quality versus creepy objectification.

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Is there somewhere in this article where I could talk about the very real feeling of jealousy and how it can make even the nicest people into assholes? No, that’s not this article. It’s not this article because we’ve let appealing to white people’s comfort get in the way of progress to the point where our culture, democracy, and future is at stake. Appealing to white people’s comfort is how we got to where BIPOC and LGBT people are being erased from history all together because the dark history of this country makes white people uncomfortable.
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