Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Work

by David M Willis on March 29, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Faz Is Great
└ Tags: carla, faz, joe, joyce, malaya, marcie, sal

Discussion (418) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    March 29, 2018 at 12:01 am | #

    [Carla Rutten avatar] Bored.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      March 29, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

      Carla was not a shipper of Joelaya.

      • LeslieBean4Shizzle
        LeslieBean4Shizzle
        March 29, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

        I’m more concerned for Marcie who appears to have gone full Blue Screen of Death.

        • Screwball
          Screwball
          March 29, 2018 at 6:00 am | #

          Noticed that now. Wonder if she’ll talk to Sal about it…

      • Joner
        Joner
        March 29, 2018 at 12:41 am | #

        who is a shipper of joelaya, someone has to be

        • brasca1
          brasca1
          March 29, 2018 at 2:28 am | #

          I ship it if it means Marcie will make up with Sal.

          • a/snow mous/e
            a/snow mous/e
            March 29, 2018 at 8:23 am | #

            It most definitely does not mean that. Malaya is only getting with Joe to spite Sal.

            • dralou
              dralou
              March 29, 2018 at 10:20 am | #

              Which could be the wake up call for Marcie, as she’d finally couldn’t deny that even the nicest-looking ass is not worth it enough to ignore the stench that comes from an asshole like Malaya.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          March 29, 2018 at 8:28 am | #

          I can hateship them!

  2. CleverTrousers
    CleverTrousers
    March 29, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    It lasted three hours. It was like you slept in one day after having sex.

    • FLUFFYWOLF
      FLUFFYWOLF
      March 29, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

      That’s long by Joe standards.

    • cbwroses
      cbwroses
      March 29, 2018 at 2:50 am | #

      It’s been a couple of days.
      That said, it wasn’t like he turned down women in that time. He just didn’t hit on any women in that time.
      The first woman to come on to him, and he jumps at the chance.
      Of course, it had the added benefits of dumping Faz sitting duty on someone else and avoiding Joyce’s pointed question.

      • CleverTrousers
        CleverTrousers
        March 29, 2018 at 3:24 am | #

        I was counting from the end of his and Danny’s day of shenanigans when it actually set in but Joyce broke her toe after that, didn’t she?

        • cbwroses
          cbwroses
          March 29, 2018 at 12:30 pm | #

          Yes she did. I think this is day two of the broken toe

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        March 29, 2018 at 7:48 am | #

        But it was the hitting on women and rating them that was the problem. There’s nothing actually wrong with him jumping at Malaya’s offer, right?

        Other than dumping Faz on Joyce and walking out on their conversation.

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        March 29, 2018 at 10:44 am | #

        Honestly, I think this really has way more to do with running away from Joyce’s question than it has to do with Malaya’s offer.

  3. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    March 29, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    I mean, I would also take any possible escape of a really awkward situation so I ain’t gonna fault Joe on this one

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      March 29, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      Mainly I fault him for abandoning his assumed responsibility of watching Faz.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 29, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

        Yeah, Malaya is only 0.2 Fazes on the obnoxiometer.

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        March 29, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

        I am still trying to figure out how, in Joe’s mind, it is in any way, shape, or form Joyce’s responsibility to watch Faz.

        • Bathymetheus
          Bathymetheus
          March 29, 2018 at 12:32 am | #

          She’s standing there.

          • Pat
            Pat
            March 29, 2018 at 1:20 am | #

            But does she have style and flair?

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              March 29, 2018 at 2:00 am | #

              Does that make Mary C. C.?

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          March 29, 2018 at 1:01 am | #

          Plot twist: Joe is not a very good babysitter and he kinda let his new stepsister down.

          • Joe Angel
            Joe Angel
            March 29, 2018 at 5:28 am | #

            I’m hoping Joe realizes through all this that it doesn’t take a monogamous relationship to seriously let someone down by folliowing his junk around.

            Then again, I do think people crack down on Joelaya too hard.
            Aside from the awful Faz situation Joe dumped on Joyce, Malaya’s words are the truth; they’re attracted to each other and consenting adults, badabing badaboom.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              March 29, 2018 at 7:49 am | #

              Well, there’s also the awful part where she’s doing this to show Sal up, but that’s not Joe’s responsibility.

              • das-g
                das-g
                March 29, 2018 at 7:12 pm | #

                Also, Joe doesn’t even know about that part.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          March 29, 2018 at 2:44 am | #

          I’m trying to figure out why a fifteen-year-old needs watching.

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            March 29, 2018 at 2:58 am | #

            I have a VERY strong feeling we will se a good example pretty soon.

            • Agemegos
              Agemegos
              March 29, 2018 at 3:31 am | #

              Sure. If Faz isn’t watched he’ll go and creep the women’s dorm, someone will call campus security, and he’ll be handed over to child services for safe disposal. I get that.

              But why does Faz behave in such a bizarre way? Was he raised in a cupboard without human contact?

              • Joe Angel
                Joe Angel
                March 29, 2018 at 5:57 am | #

                Amber was raised by Blaine and got an intense amount of self loathing out of it. While she’s still a social outcast (though less than she thinks she is), her fear of doing wrong caused her to have the motto:
                “I don’t make the rules, I just live in fear of them.”
                which is why she’s still more well-adjusted than Dina is in many ways, because she’s very sensitive to being perceived as weird.

                I’m guessing that Faz coped by swinging the other way and holding on to a weird self-image where he’s a God amongst men and his parents are just ignorant.

                Both of them coped by spending way too much time on the internet.

                • DannyUniverse
                  DannyUniverse
                  March 29, 2018 at 6:05 pm | #

                  I am really not on board with your definition of not being well adjusted. Dina generally seems happy and is liked by her peers. She is infaltised by them, which bothers her, but people are starting to see her as a young adult more and more.

                  Like it is upsetting when people see different as being badly adjusted. She’s happy, and as far as we know her academic side is going fine too.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  March 29, 2018 at 6:46 pm | #

                  Dina is adjusting very quickly, but look at her earlier appearances where she was learning basic social skills from Amber, of all people.

              • Emily
                Emily
                March 29, 2018 at 6:40 am | #

                He carried over pretty much entirely unchanged from previous universes which were much less focused on a realistic setting and thus he feels jarringly out of place in a slice-of-life college dramedy where people more or less act like real human beings that could conceivably exist.

                • Zerodime
                  Zerodime
                  March 29, 2018 at 9:07 am | #

                  You americans have funny colleges where this is “people that could realisticaly exist”

        • Tualha
          Tualha
          March 29, 2018 at 2:45 am | #

          Joyce offered to help watch Faz about five minutes ago, for excellent reasons.

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            March 29, 2018 at 2:59 am | #

            “A second pair of eyes” does not directly imply “I’ll do everything while you fuck of and… fuck.”, but I can sure see how Joe choses to read it that way.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        March 29, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

        Meanwhile I sorta hope Joyce lets that little turd go off on his own. She has no obligation to look after him. That was Joe’s responsibility.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          March 29, 2018 at 3:20 am | #

          If he needs a keeper, it’s his parents’ responsibility, or his school’s. He not a toddler.

        • Omymel
          Omymel
          March 29, 2018 at 7:27 am | #

          She has no real obligation, but she did say she’s help Amber since Amber protected Dorothy, so I expect she’ll feel a perceived obligation to watch Faz

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          March 29, 2018 at 7:51 am | #

          Nah, Joyce needs to pass him on to someone else. I want Faz passed around the whole cast by the end of the day. Either ending with Dina tying him up again or someone casually asking Amber to keep an eye on him.

      • Pat
        Pat
        March 29, 2018 at 1:20 am | #

        Wasn’t that an explicit responsibility?

        • Yumi
          Yumi
          March 29, 2018 at 11:31 am | #

          I think this was a reply to me, so: “assumed responsibility” means a responsibility he took on. If you do a quick Google search for “assumed,” it should come up as the second definition for the word, which will hopefully make it make more sense.

          It’s definitely the less commonly used meaning for the word, so I can see how it could be confusing.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      March 29, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

      Also, to be fair, if I didn’t know Malaya and an IRL version of her came up to me and said that while having the expression in panel 2, I would do the same. Of course, if Malaya said such things to ladies, then Marcie wouldn’t be internally screaming right now. Still… that panel 2 face… damn.

      • Marisa Mockery
        Marisa Mockery
        March 29, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

        Faz has already drawn a chart showing his arousal at panel 2 Malaya’s face.

  4. JetstreamGW
    JetstreamGW
    March 29, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    Behold, our utterly predictable response.

  5. Mordecai
    Mordecai
    March 29, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    Well, that sucks

  6. Johan
    Johan
    March 29, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    Ugh

  7. Yumi
    Yumi
    March 29, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    *insert that “I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you! gif*

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      March 29, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      To what, keep an eye on Faz? This changes nothing. A casual hookup is fine, it’s not the same as treating women like objects.

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        March 29, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

        I mean, yeah, watching Faz, and how he himself sees to view this as backsliding, which in turn can feed into additional backsliding.

        I have nothing against casual hookups. They are literally all my sexual relationships.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        March 29, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

        I personally am worried Joe might backslide a bit into jackassery. Not so far as to make an outright ‘List 2.0’ or any of his worst behaviour, but just…more like he was instead of who he’s been trying to be.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          March 29, 2018 at 4:00 am | #

          If his New list is women who chose Joe, on purpose, to make his list…
          ~ Ok that has its own set if problems, but at least its consensual.

          Malaya IS going feel cheated if he doesnt put her on the list , and give her a 10

          Weird, i actually care how Malaya feels right now.
          I never did before.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            March 29, 2018 at 10:09 am | #

            Yeah, no, I’m still gonna say ‘don’t put your bang book online for people to subscribe to’.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            March 29, 2018 at 10:21 am | #

            Yeah, took me a bit to see that’s likely where this is going. Joe hasn’t faced the actual threat to his new resolve yet.
            Malaya’s not just a hot girl who offered him sex – there’s no real problem with that. She actually wants him because of the list, because of Old Joe’s reputation. That’s going to screw him up big time when he finds out.
            Which he will, because she’s going to ask about the list.

      • Tori
        Tori
        March 29, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

        For me I was rooting less for Joe keeping an eye on Faz and more for Joe sticking with this difficult conversation and sitting with his emotional vulnerability a little. But alas.

        • Yumi
          Yumi
          March 29, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

          It’s that too, but if he’s not ready for the conversation, I can be sympathetic to that. But like, “This person expressed sexual interest in me, so I’m going to go hookup with her”– cool. “This person expressed sexual interest in me, so I’m going to walk away in the middle of a conversation with a friend and leave her responsible for a task I volunteered to take on to help another friend…to hookup with the first person”– less cool.

          • Tori
            Tori
            March 29, 2018 at 1:09 am | #

            Ah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I was so focused on Joe bailing in the first place that I managed to gloss over that Joe dumping Faz on Joyce makes the whole thing extra uncool.

            (And to be clear, I totally think it’s fine to excuse yourself from uncomfortable conversations you aren’t prepared to have — it’s just that this is so not the way to do it.)

          • Freemage
            Freemage
            March 29, 2018 at 10:16 am | #

            There’s one other issue, as well. Joe KNOWS about Joyce’s history, and thus her feelings about being objectified, and how it hurts her.

            And he just left her alone. With Faz.

            I am currently hoping he catches something distinctly horrible from Malaya.

            • Ferret
              Ferret
              March 29, 2018 at 3:37 pm | #

              Honestly, I’m kinda hoping Joyce punches Faz in the nose. Granted, Faz, being Faz, will probably see it as a sexual thing, but it’ll still be enjoyable to watch.

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      March 29, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      You were the chosen one!

      • TheHorseCouncil
        TheHorseCouncil
        March 29, 2018 at 1:24 am | #

        Is that a multiplex reference?

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          March 29, 2018 at 1:41 am | #

          It’s a Star Wars reference.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            March 29, 2018 at 1:52 am | #

            So, yes.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        March 29, 2018 at 8:34 am | #

        “Yes, I was. This hot chick right here chose ME! Who am I to say no?”

  8. Stu
    Stu
    March 29, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    God dammit, Malaya.

    • Stu
      Stu
      March 29, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      Though on that note, it should be interesting to see how Marcie responds to this development.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        March 29, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

        I suspect it depends how seriously she wanted to date Malaya – if it was closer to ‘I really want to bang her and maybe dating her after that would be nice’ than she might be okay. If it’s closer to ‘I really want to go out with her’ I suspect she’ll be more upset.

    • Pacce
      Pacce
      March 29, 2018 at 1:56 am | #

      Myeh, she didn’t do anything wrong. She propositioned a person and they were down with it.

      And I can only feel bad for Marcie to a point. If you don’t state your feelings, you don’t have any right to be mad if someone else doesn’t respect them.

      • Stu
        Stu
        March 29, 2018 at 2:08 am | #

        Not knowingly, no, but it’s like offering a recovering alcoholic a drink, or (more relevantly with Jacob’s “Shortpacked!” continuity) a sex addict a new partner.

        • Pacce
          Pacce
          March 29, 2018 at 2:30 am | #

          She didn’t know he was swearing off sex or what have you either. I mean, she’s going for a guy to avoid dealing with her desire to hate fuck Sal, but other than that the worst thing she did was proposition a basic stranger who was well know for taking on all comers.

          • Stu
            Stu
            March 29, 2018 at 5:46 pm | #

            Again, true – but you’d still express frustration if someone did that to a recovering addict, knowingly or not. Hence – “God dammit, Malaya.”

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          March 29, 2018 at 5:47 am | #

          Not really. It’s Joe who assumed he wasn’t getting sex anytime soon, his problem was how he was treating women, not that he was getting laid.

      • Emily
        Emily
        March 29, 2018 at 6:44 am | #

        I mean the fact that she seems to have done it largely to spite Sal is pretty fucked up even if she’s an idiot and in reality Sal couldn’t give less of a damn about this.

        • jmsr
          jmsr
          March 29, 2018 at 9:21 pm | #

          > in reality Sal couldn’t give less of a damn about this.

          Malaya appears to be incapable of understanding that people have different opinions than her. She’s projecting what she would feel if she was in Sal’s position onto Sal.

          This isn’t the first time she’s done something like this, and if she is to have any personal growth in this comic it will be learning that not everyone thinks the way she does.

  9. BBCC
    BBCC
    March 29, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    I love you Carla.

    That is all.

  10. Aislashu
    Aislashu
    March 29, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Why is it I’m only now noticing Carla has no skates?

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      March 29, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      Maybe she has heelies, while Joe is off escaping his feelies.

      • A4lbi
        A4lbi
        March 29, 2018 at 12:58 am | #

        I appreciate this comment.

      • Jago
        Jago
        March 29, 2018 at 1:35 am | #

        You win best comment of the day.

    • cbwroses
      cbwroses
      March 29, 2018 at 2:54 am | #

      She broke her skates a few days ago. Not sure if she fixed or replaced them yet.

  11. mister gray
    mister gray
    March 29, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    NOO DAMMIT! THE SHIPPING!!! DON”T LEAVE JOYCE !!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      March 29, 2018 at 8:37 am | #

      They were getting along, feeling really comfortable and happy with each other…

      And then Joyce tried to make Joe talk about FEELINGS.

      He found an easy out.

  12. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    March 29, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    Later, Mike crotch-kicks Joe for Joe stealing the hatef–k schtick.
    *plays Diana Ross’ “I’m Coming Out” on the P.A. speakers for Carla*

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      March 29, 2018 at 8:39 am | #

      Malaya sees this and falls for Mike.

      Their hate-fucks destroy the planet.

      • poofdepoof
        poofdepoof
        March 29, 2018 at 4:39 pm | #

        I feel like Mike would be completely disgusted by Malaya.

  13. admiralnoob
    admiralnoob
    March 29, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    I’m pretty sure we should all be resigned to everyone falling back into their same shitty habits. Walky and Dorothy already failed so it’s only natural that the conga line continues.

    I’m looking at you Billy, Ruth, Amber, Mary, Sarah, etc.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      March 29, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      Walky and Dorothy’s shitty habit of…being in a relationship together?

      • Dana
        Dana
        March 29, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

        A caring relationship, at that.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        March 29, 2018 at 2:04 am | #

        Not taking care of themselves? Having a terrible work/life balance?

        • Emily
          Emily
          March 29, 2018 at 6:48 am | #

          Walky and Dorothy are like the opposite sides of those coins. Walky doesn’t take care of himself because he’s self-indulgent and lazy and Dorothy doesn’t because she’s pushing herself too hard. Walky works far too little and Dorothy far too much.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            March 29, 2018 at 2:15 pm | #

            So together they average out!

        • Yumi
          Yumi
          March 29, 2018 at 11:24 am | #

          But that doesn’t seem like something they can be said to have failed to change at this point. Because really, the change they made and then went back on was whether they were together.

  14. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    March 29, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    spiiiiiiiiite

  15. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    March 29, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    Malaya kinda sounds like malaise.

  16. Scubasteve0209
    Scubasteve0209
    March 29, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    Next episode: Joyce converts Faz to Christianity. Fax goes door to door processing with the use of charts.

    • Scubasteve0209
      Scubasteve0209
      March 29, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

      *Faz
      *Professing

      • jeffepp
        jeffepp
        March 29, 2018 at 12:32 am | #

        No, autocorkpuller was right. It’s funnier that way.

        • Jago
          Jago
          March 29, 2018 at 1:34 am | #

          did you write “autocorkpuller” on purpose, or…

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        March 29, 2018 at 1:55 am | #

        Proselytizing, Faz would be proselytizing with charts and graphs (and confusing people).

        • Shade
          Shade
          March 29, 2018 at 7:36 am | #

          “This relationship chart shows Faz’s connection to the risen savior.”

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            March 29, 2018 at 8:42 am | #

            “As you can see, Faz is closer than anyone else.

            This means, if you are hot, you should worship Faz, and offer to have sex with him.”

    • Cattleprod
      Cattleprod
      March 29, 2018 at 12:16 am | #

      Jeez, what’s the point of even having a fax machine if you still need to process your charts door to door.

  17. Gojira
    Gojira
    March 29, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    Cheers, Joe. Pound her good for all of us worthless shmo’s who will never have the opportunity!

  18. Tacos
    Tacos
    March 29, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    Oh for fuck’s sake. Goddammit Joe.

  19. Lena
    Lena
    March 29, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

    Welp, now I’m bummed out. Way to go, Joe. Joyce deserves better than your garbage anyway.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 29, 2018 at 1:02 am | #

      Sadly, he left her to babysit his garbage.

      • drs
        drs
        March 29, 2018 at 1:08 am | #

        Not *really* his garbage. He was trying to be nice to Amber. He has no more obligation to look after Faz than Joyce does.

        Hell, even Amber’s obligation is pretty tenuous, but her father is Faz’s step-father so there’s *something*.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          March 29, 2018 at 1:30 am | #

          Well, he PROMISED Amber he would look after the little creep, so…
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/03-faz-is-great/handle-2/

          • drs
            drs
            March 29, 2018 at 1:34 am | #

            Ah, thanks. I had forgotten that.

        • Freemage
          Freemage
          March 29, 2018 at 12:54 pm | #

          He has an obligation to his promise, and an obligation as a friend to NOT put Joyce, of all people, in a horrible situation where she has to deal with the living embodiment of the manosphere.

          I hope they haven’t found a cure for whatever he gets from Malaya.

          • Sunny
            Sunny
            March 29, 2018 at 6:55 pm | #

            Well, Joyce isn’t wearing her bracer, so her wrist shoul be good for some more punching.

  20. CK
    CK
    March 29, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

    Dammit, I was actually starting to have high hopes for Joe.

  21. Tori
    Tori
    March 29, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    God dammit, Joe. I know change is hard and vulnerability is worse but UGH.

  22. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    March 29, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

    And with this Joe and Malaya have officially pissed off everyone observing both fictional and none fictional.

    All I haft to say I feel sorry for Marcie but I sort of saw this coming, also Joe you fucking worthless disappointment, ando Malaya careful what you wish for.

    • Dana
      Dana
      March 29, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

      I don’t know what Malaya would have to do to bother me, but it’d be more dramatic than this.

    • MatthewTheLucky
      MatthewTheLucky
      March 29, 2018 at 12:57 am | #

      Faz is not pissed, only aroused.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        March 29, 2018 at 3:00 am | #

        Faz is aroused by a stiff breeze, he’s 15.

    • Freemage
      Freemage
      March 29, 2018 at 12:56 pm | #

      I am honestly not bothered by Malaya in the least, here. She’s being upfront about this being just a casual hook-up, she’s not actively trying to destroy anyone’s relationship, and she’s not breaking any established commitments, violating any school policies or manipulating others to do what she wants.

      So, I want everyone else in the strip to realize that they now need to look to Malaya for moral and ethical guidance, and to feel bad about that fact.

      • newllend(henryvolt)
        newllend(henryvolt)
        March 29, 2018 at 1:01 pm | #

        If I’m mad about anything here it’s that I got blue balled out of story progression.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          March 29, 2018 at 3:11 pm | #

          Have faith in The Willis. He well get back to that . . . eventually.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        March 29, 2018 at 2:30 pm | #

        I’m bothered by Malaya’s apparent motivation here – that she’s doing this to get one up on Sal (on something she mistakenly thinks Sal cares about).

        • doomska
          doomska
          March 29, 2018 at 3:52 pm | #

          It’s not great but like, they’re not in a relationship so this is a pretty paltry level of spite compared to what Sarah and Joyce are doing.

  23. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    March 29, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

    Poor Marcie.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      March 29, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

      Seriously look at Marcie she looks like she seen a ghost.

    • Emily
      Emily
      March 29, 2018 at 6:51 am | #

      Eh, if you don’t communicate how you feel to people this is generally the kind of thing that happens. Plus I don’t have a lot of sympathy for Marcie because she was weird and underhanded about her interest in Malaya.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      March 29, 2018 at 8:45 am | #

      Marcie’s too nice to gain Malaya’s interest. Malaya only lusts after jerks.

      • Freemage
        Freemage
        March 29, 2018 at 12:58 pm | #

        No, that’s Carla.

        And if a guy was doing what Marcie’s been doing, I wouldn’t have any sympathy for him, either–it’s literal Nice Guy Syndrome. She gets some pity, but she needs to own her crap.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          March 29, 2018 at 2:34 pm | #

          I guess that depends on your definition of “Nice Guy Syndrome”. If she turns on Malaya or starts demanding “earned” sex, that’s over the line.

          I’m not sure hanging out with someone you’re interested in and not getting up the nerve to make a blatant move actually qualifies.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          March 29, 2018 at 3:29 pm | #

          Woah, Marcie hasn’t done anything Nice Guy – y yet. Hanging out with someone and not being ready to ask them out (especially when said asking out may involve coming out to them) is not quite the same thing as getting pissy and acting like a tool when they’re not interested even though you were ‘so nice’.

  24. GoblinScribe
    GoblinScribe
    March 29, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

    I do actually have a pet theory that Malaya thinks Marcie has a crush on Sal, and is doing this to help Marcie and Sal “make up”.

    Otherwise, yeah, kinda a dick move, Malaya. Not as bad as Joe, though.

    • Alopex
      Alopex
      March 29, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

      Malaya is down to find out about all of Joe’s dick moves.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        March 29, 2018 at 3:13 pm | #

        There we go, I knew someone would bite on that setup.

    • DrunkenNordmann
      DrunkenNordmann
      March 29, 2018 at 12:47 am | #

      I don’t think Malaya was actually aware that Marcie had a crush on her. Remember that page where she talked Marcie about always having been straight with her, i.e. not having any ulterior motives? The same page features Marcie checking out her butt.

      So yeah, I kinda fail to see how that’s a dick move, considering Malaya probably doesn’t know what we do.

      • Sol Karas
        Sol Karas
        March 29, 2018 at 3:42 am | #

        Well I mean, she’s literally out to “steal Joe” from Sal because she perceives Sal as being interested in Joe for… some reason. I would consider that alone as a dick move.

        • Emily
          Emily
          March 29, 2018 at 6:52 am | #

          Yeah, there are no positive motives here for Malaya she just wants to hurt Sal.

          • Just a Ian
            Just a Ian
            March 29, 2018 at 7:35 am | #

            how would this even hurt Sal , if she has no interest in Joe?

            • Emily
              Emily
              March 29, 2018 at 8:09 am | #

              It won’t but Malaya is as stupid as she is malicious and thinks Sal IS interested.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              March 29, 2018 at 8:28 am | #

              It won’t. But Malaya thinks it will. She’ll fool around with Joe and get a better rating than Sal and that’ll show Sal up because Sal’s a poser who’s just pretending not to care about it, while Malaya really doesn’t care, which is why she’s going to so much effort.

          • doomska
            doomska
            March 29, 2018 at 3:56 pm | #

            I like how much leeway the fans have given Joyce and Sarah for actively trying to destroy a healthy relationship vs. how Malaya is condemned for basically going, “Pfft, I bet Sal really thinks List-Guy is hot, well I’ll show her how you snag a hot guy.”

            Like

            Hitting on someone because you think your rival has some vague level of interest in them but isn’t acting on it and you want to show them up is about ten trillion degrees below actively trying to sabotage an ongoing and healthy relationship in the shitty-behavior-o-meter.

            • doomska
              doomska
              March 29, 2018 at 3:59 pm | #

              And she actively talked to Sal about it beforehand! Like she’s not being sneaky or deceitful here, she flat-out tells Sal, “Oh, so you’re interested in List Guy aren’t you?” and then when she says lolno tells Sal, “Pfft, suuuure watch me hit on him then” and then just walks up and tells Joe they should have sex.

              Like Malaya is wrong about Sal’s supposed attraction to Joe, but has been completely and totally up front and honest about her intentions to every single person involved in this, which is so much more than we can say about our protagonist.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                March 29, 2018 at 5:30 pm | #

                Well of course, how else is she going to gloat? She can’t show Sal how much better she is if she doesn’t let her know.

                And yeah, Sarah’s definitely screwing up in trying to break up Raidah and Jacob. Joyce as well, though somewhat less so – at least her motivation isn’t directly “I want to hurt Raidah”. Her screwed up romance/matchmaking theories mixed up with her own hormones going crazy.

            • Emily
              Emily
              March 29, 2018 at 7:52 pm | #

              At no point have I condoned Joyce or Sarah’s behaviour in this situation they’re both being terrible.

      • HeatherJean
        HeatherJean
        March 29, 2018 at 4:51 pm | #

        Any possibility that Malaya is quite aware of Marcie’s crush, and whatever-it-is that Carla has, and making a play for Joe in front of them is her way to avoid hurtful confrontations?

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      March 29, 2018 at 8:29 am | #

      Honestly, I’m starting to wonder if Malaya’s only hanging out with Marcie to show Sal she can take her best friend away.

      I may have a slightly less positive take on Malaya than you 🙂

      • Emily
        Emily
        March 29, 2018 at 7:55 pm | #

        That seems rather subtle for her and even if she did have the patience for it she’d probably have gloated by now. Like yeah she’s an awful person and I wouldn’t put it past her in terms of how shitty she is but she’s also pretty impulsive and short-sighted.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          March 29, 2018 at 8:52 pm | #

          I hope so. It just kind of came to me this morning.

  25. Mackabre
    Mackabre
    March 29, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    I can’t be too mad at Joe, if I needed to escape a situation like that and a hot girl gave me an out, my resolve might not be that strong either

  26. Vangeln
    Vangeln
    March 29, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

    Carla, that one applies for everyone except Sal.

  27. Raen
    Raen
    March 29, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

    Dammit, Joe.

    And don’t give me that. The fact that opportunities are scarcer doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t last beyond your very first one.

    • drs
      drs
      March 29, 2018 at 1:11 am | #

      Why should he pass up the opportunity? Casual sex with consenting women wasn’t the problem. Making a List and being something of a boundary-pushing horndog were problems. In this case he got jumped by another horndog. There is no problem here.

      Bit of conversation interruptus with Joyce, but I’d forgive a friend for taking a chance like this. And it was Joe’s choice to bring up serious topics like Sarah, so it’s not like he’s walking away from Joyce’s cry for help or something.

      • Jago
        Jago
        March 29, 2018 at 1:32 am | #

        Agree,
        I think the rudest thing here is sticking Faz with Joyce, who I’m not even sure knows who he is, after he promised Amber to look after him. That’s legit uncool.

        • Freemage
          Freemage
          March 29, 2018 at 1:01 pm | #

          He knows enough to know that Faz is literally the physical embodiment of everything Joyce fears about men. And he left her there with him.

          I’ve been hoping for Joe to catch something incurable, but now I realize that would be unfair to Malaya. So instead, I want him to be so utterly unable to perform that she mocks him loud enough for the rest of the floor to hear.

          • Agemegos
            Agemegos
            March 29, 2018 at 10:09 pm | #

            How much does he know about Faz?

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              March 29, 2018 at 10:21 pm | #

              He’s seen the charts.

      • Varangian
        Varangian
        March 29, 2018 at 2:27 am | #

        Yeah, honestly co-signed. This is about the least objectionable thing Malaya or Joe have done in like an in-strip week.

        • Emily
          Emily
          March 29, 2018 at 6:54 am | #

          Nah, Malaya is doing it to spite Sal because she thinks she likes him so it’s pretty objectionable.

          • Freemage
            Freemage
            March 29, 2018 at 1:02 pm | #

            But even then, she’s being honest with him. “Let’s be hot together and make everyone hate us even more.” She’s not looking for an emotional connection, nor is she promising one.

  28. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    March 29, 2018 at 12:16 am | #

    Also if having a drive to find ways to get people to despise you as much as humanly possible is what Malaya is looking for in a man then I guess Mike is more of her type.

    • Gojira
      Gojira
      March 29, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

      I totally seen Mike and Malaya forming a relationship straight out of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cruel_Intentions

      • newllend(henryvolt)
        newllend(henryvolt)
        March 29, 2018 at 12:39 am | #

        Cartoonishly evil young adults take more pleasure out of messing with people’s heads more then messing around ? Yeah sounds like them.

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        March 29, 2018 at 9:55 am | #

        I can’t imagine them lasting very long. Both of them would want to be the boss.

  29. Inahc
    Inahc
    March 29, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

    *facepalm*

  30. tisvana18
    tisvana18
    March 29, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

    I think he’s using her as an excuse to exit the conversation. I don’t think they’re going to do anything.

    Or at least, that’s what I’m hoping.

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      March 29, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

      You’re as hopelessly optimistic as a Browns fan*, aren’t you?

      *For people not fans of handegg: Browns is a team that didn’t win at all last season, and only once the season before that. I’m pretty sure everyone can imagine that this is not good.

      • tisvana18
        tisvana18
        March 29, 2018 at 1:47 am | #

        I’m a Texans fan, so it might be even worse!

        • Delavan
          Delavan
          March 29, 2018 at 2:05 pm | #

          It is not actually possible to be more hopelessly optimistic than a Browns fan. One winning season in the past decade, last time they made the playoffs was 2002…

          Compare: http://www.clevelandbrowns.com/team/history/year-by-year-results.html vs. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Houston_Texans_seasons

          Sweet summer child 🙂

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          March 30, 2018 at 4:29 pm | #

          Jon Bois disagrees with you and is prepared to show -excactly how bad- the Browns really are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gZndxEvFNk&t=8s

    • DanLovatClark
      DanLovatClark
      March 29, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

      I think there’s about a coin-flip’s chance that Joe is going to Dan it up by having to talk about his feelings, and be all “I’m trying to respect women more, but you seem into this, so that makes it okay, right? Let’s set some boundaries and ground rules,” at which point Malaya will nope out of there in boredom and/or frustration.

      • cbwroses
        cbwroses
        March 29, 2018 at 2:59 am | #

        Good point

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        March 29, 2018 at 8:32 am | #

        Good thought. Even more direct though: Malaya’s doing this to get a better rating than Sal, so she’ll bring it up.

    • Gojira
      Gojira
      March 29, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

      Browns fans aren’t optimists, they’re sadists.

      • Emperor Norton II
        Emperor Norton II
        March 29, 2018 at 12:40 am | #

        Based on how they cry rather than smile at the end of every game, I’d say “masochist” is closer.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        March 29, 2018 at 3:16 pm | #

        yea, I am with the Emperor, I would say more masochist than sadist.

    • Deadjolras
      Deadjolras
      March 29, 2018 at 1:08 am | #

      I want that to happen, too, so you’re not the only optimist!

  31. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    March 29, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

    OK, I think it’s pretty much confirmed that Malaya is spite-sexual.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      March 29, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

      Who was she spiting with Ultra Car?

      Society?

      • Dana
        Dana
        March 29, 2018 at 12:34 am | #

        Yup. Civilization and the whole human race.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        March 29, 2018 at 8:49 am | #

        Exactly.

        “Fuck all humans, I’mma date a car.”

    • DannyUniverse
      DannyUniverse
      March 29, 2018 at 12:55 am | #

      Hm, that could make sense. I thought I had remembered that Malaya was a-spec in the walkyverse, to the extent of only being attracted to ultra car. I mean, I guess Joe could have been one the people she was sexually attracted to in this universe, but I had been leaning on the idea that she doesn’t yet know she is ace and is essentially following a script.

      Her being spite sexual could make sense. Though I do think that there is a considerable chance she hasn’t realised that yet. (I didn’t know I was a-spec when I was 18, and while ace awareness is rising, still wouldn’t be a surprise if she hasn’t figured out she is a spec)

      • Emperor Norton II
        Emperor Norton II
        March 29, 2018 at 1:06 am | #

        Now, this is where I’ll probably come in and look rather rude…

        I think that in Shortpacked, Malaya was slightly spite-sexual (she seemed to try and hook up with Leslie mainly to piss off Robin), but otherwise seemed pretty ace. But looking at her interactions with Ultra-Car, where she is so very, very turned on; it seems to me like she was sexual or at least demi; it was just that she was attracted to sentient humanoid-shaped robots, and there weren’t really anyone of those around for a while. So you know, it was practically indistinguishable from being ace until Ultra-Car came around.

        I don’t know, does this even make sense?

        • DannyUniverse
          DannyUniverse
          March 29, 2018 at 1:16 am | #

          I have to admit that I have only read short portions of Shortpacked. But I thought her trying to hook up with Leslie was her having realised she wasn’t into guys and that she sort of assumed that meant she was into girls, but then she wasn’t.

          I thought she was demisexua or greysexual (both of which are aspec) .. greysexual I think having to do with a specific set of conditions that have to be met before being sexual. If she had a romantic relationship with ultracar before sexual feelings developed, could involve demisexuality, spiting people would be a type of greysexual ..

          Was she Aro spec as well? I should read more Shortpacked.

        • Red Comet
          Red Comet
          March 29, 2018 at 12:34 pm | #

          It was a crossover so it might not count but she was going to (or maybe did) hook up with the male main character from that Megaplex webcomic after they bonded over mocking popular films.

          She was really into it until he started talking about anime.

          So still spite-sexual but even in shortpacked she’s more pan than lesbian.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        March 29, 2018 at 5:42 am | #

        She also had sex with that guy from Multiplex because she got so turned on by him being such an asshole.

  32. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    March 29, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

    Way to fail, Joe. Canceling your apology tour AND dumping your responsibility on someone else.

    Oh well, maybe there’s Carcie to look forward to?

    • Gojira
      Gojira
      March 29, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

      Joe fails better than most of us win.

    • Jago
      Jago
      March 29, 2018 at 1:29 am | #

      Wait what should he apologize for? I mean before this.

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        March 29, 2018 at 3:16 am | #

        His “do” list.

  33. laladoria
    laladoria
    March 29, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

    Joe, how about we don’t do this? You were making such nice progress. Slowly, but still progress!

    You better regret this in the morning >:T

  34. Regalli
    Regalli
    March 29, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

    Dammit both of you!

  35. Kazumi
    Kazumi
    March 29, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

    Whelp, now I can only imagine Joe sounding like……Joe, from Family Guy.

  36. Anywhere
    Anywhere
    March 29, 2018 at 12:27 am | #

    SO MANY ships are crashing right now. Massive shipwreck. :<

    But a new ship has set sail????

    • jeffepp
      jeffepp
      March 29, 2018 at 12:38 am | #

      SS JoJo
      SS Mal-a-Mar
      SS CarMal

      No point in naming the “new” one, cause it’s doomed.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        March 29, 2018 at 1:01 am | #

        Every ship is doomed.

        But the best wrecks need names for us to remember them by.

      • Sunny
        Sunny
        March 29, 2018 at 7:08 pm | #

        The SS Fayze is definitely doomed.
        The SS Moe is an inflatable rubberboat.

    • Emily
      Emily
      March 29, 2018 at 6:56 am | #

      Yeah and it’s the Mobro 4000.

  37. Flugendorf
    Flugendorf
    March 29, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

    That’s some heavy quiet rocks just fell on Marcie. Who cannot scream.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      March 29, 2018 at 1:09 am | #

      ” I have no mouth and I must scream.”

  38. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    March 29, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

    Wait a minute he’s leaving Faz alone with Joyce !? That’s bad for so many reasons !

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      March 29, 2018 at 1:00 am | #

      Could be worse. Joyce has demonstrated Faz-wrangling abilities and Faz has demonstrated willingness-to-be-Joyce-wrangled attributes.

      • newllend(henryvolt)
        newllend(henryvolt)
        March 29, 2018 at 1:07 am | #

        Creatures like him adapt.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          March 29, 2018 at 2:13 am | #

          Joyce has a couple minutes to figure out a plan before Faz bolts. Being in such close proximity to two college age women simultaneously must have stunned him.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 29, 2018 at 1:06 am | #

      Let’s look at the bright side. She will contain him so he won’t have the chance to annoy too many other people, she won’t tolerate his bullshit, and there is still a chance she might send the little creep to Abu Dhabi.

  39. K. Ivan Ruppert
    K. Ivan Ruppert
    March 29, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

    Oh man. I’m so ready for Marcie to fall on Joe like a tidal wave of fists in a jealous rage.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      March 29, 2018 at 12:50 am | #

      I hope not. Malaya’s the problem in this interaction.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        March 29, 2018 at 12:59 am | #

        Uh…. Marcie never made her intentions clear to Malaya who has absolutely no cause to expect her to be jealous? I mean, Malaya’s being an abusive jerk to Sal and is just obnoxious overall, but this, right here? She’s guilty of nothing here except bad taste. (And maybe attemptitude jerkitude towards Sal and very much missing that mark.)

        • newllend(henryvolt)
          newllend(henryvolt)
          March 29, 2018 at 1:02 am | #

          Bad taste ? Well yeah that is bound to happen when you select potential partners around “I want to hit that.”

          • ArcaneDarkness
            ArcaneDarkness
            March 29, 2018 at 8:19 am | #

            You mean, as Marcie selected Malaya?

      • DrunkenNordmann
        DrunkenNordmann
        March 29, 2018 at 1:03 am | #

        In either case it would make Marcie look like a dick. Remember, she’s not actually in a relationship with Malaya nor did she ever make her intent clear to the latter.

        There’s this page where Malaya talks about Marcie having no ulterior motives while the latter is literally checking out her butt while Malaya’s not looking at her.

        So yeah, wailing on anybody just because they didn’t magically pick up on something you intentionally hid from them? Not a nice thing to do.

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          March 29, 2018 at 1:10 am | #

          “So yeah, wailing on anybody just because they didn’t magically pick up on something you intentionally hid from them? Not a nice thing to do.”

          Which is why it’s so ironic that this is the MO of self-proclaimed Nice Guys™.

          • DrunkenNordmann
            DrunkenNordmann
            March 29, 2018 at 1:53 am | #

            “Which is why it’s so ironic that this is the MO of self-proclaimed Nice Guys™.”
            No wonder it seemed so familiar. :/

          • newllend(henryvolt)
            newllend(henryvolt)
            March 29, 2018 at 2:54 am | #

            I just want it to happen because of entertainment.

    • CJ
      CJ
      March 29, 2018 at 2:42 am | #

      But, isn’t, you know, the difference between people reacting to moves you make to get closer to them (like Marcie snuggling up to Malya when she was reading in bed) and people not reacting to it all the difference between making your interest clear in a polite way and being turned down in an equally polite way?
      If they are also into you, they notice and respond, if not, not.
      How many people you have dated have stated in so many words that they are interested?

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        March 29, 2018 at 5:21 am | #

        I’m a lady who prefers nerds. I always state everything super clearly, and I highly recommend it!
        My current romantic relationship, I typed: “Would you like to go to Coney Island this Saturday? I am totally asking you out!”

        • jmsr
          jmsr
          March 29, 2018 at 9:28 pm | #

          > “Would you like to go to Coney Island this Saturday? I am totally asking you out!”

          It’s taken me a while to realize it, but this is the level of communication i need in a relationship. “Flirting” has always seemed to be simple but annoying ‘why are you even asking me that question’ questions and “double entendres” are just a sign of poor communication skills. Be clear, dammit!

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        March 29, 2018 at 8:37 am | #

        Yeah, but if you’re relying on such clues, which is a totally acceptable way to go, you have to accept it when you don’t get the signals you’re looking for. Or proceed to the direct ask.

        Just continuing to try the subtle signals and pretending there’s something there when there isn’t ain’t cool.

        • CJ
          CJ
          March 29, 2018 at 1:01 pm | #

          True, if you stick to subtle innuendo and get no response, you should read the subtle “no”. And when unsure, find a way to ask, but don’t pile on more subtle innuendo.

  40. Irredentist
    Irredentist
    March 29, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

    Good, this Marcie Malaya farce was getting on my nerves.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      March 29, 2018 at 12:56 am | #

      You say that as if the train wreck were anywhere near over.

  41. Ivy
    Ivy
    March 29, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

    WHy doesn’t the hovertext work on mobile?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      March 29, 2018 at 12:53 am | #

      Are you on a boat and low on battery?

      Hovertexts don’t work on water! (Unless you’ve got power!)

      ….

      *flees for dear 2015-referencing life*

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      March 29, 2018 at 12:54 am | #

      Works for me – it says, ”Joe and Malaya perform a sure-why-not”, if it helps.

    • Nymphie
      Nymphie
      March 29, 2018 at 12:54 am | #

      It does. Just press on the empty space left or right of the navigation buttons. Press once more to get out of it

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 29, 2018 at 1:04 am | #

      Because of SCIENCE!!!!!

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        March 29, 2018 at 1:14 am | #

        (Sorry, feeling silly today)

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          March 29, 2018 at 1:19 am | #

          Ehh…
          …
          …
          …
          …
          What’s the difference?

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            March 29, 2018 at 1:31 am | #

            Two or three exclamation points, generally.

      • Michael Lanting
        Michael Lanting
        March 29, 2018 at 3:16 am | #

        “Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          March 29, 2018 at 4:20 am | #

          “They called me mad! MAD!! ME!!! MAAAAAAD!!!! MOAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            March 29, 2018 at 4:20 am | #

            “Everyone who works in there goes mad. Maaaad.”
            (My favorite Terry Pratchett quote, paraphrased)

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            March 29, 2018 at 8:39 am | #

            Mad! MAD!!!
            Sure, I’m mad, but I’ve got tenure! Bwahaha!!!

  42. Derek
    Derek
    March 29, 2018 at 12:39 am | #

    I’m not sure if I would fault Joe on this one, he was propositioned to by someone who is clearly interested he never even talked to before

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      March 29, 2018 at 12:55 am | #

      I mean, I could fault his taste and his lack of “wtf am I getting into” caution, but overall, no, can’t fault him.

      …. trying to decide whether he should be faulted for ditching Faz. On the one hand, minor he’s semi-responsible for. On the other hand, Faz.

      • drs
        drs
        March 29, 2018 at 1:13 am | #

        Amber is maybe semi-responsible for Faz. Joe has no real connection to the guy except proximity.

        • Larkle
          Larkle
          March 29, 2018 at 1:18 am | #

          Proximity that he agreed to. He did give his word to Amber that he’d watch him, so that implies taking on semi-responsibility.

          • drs
            drs
            March 29, 2018 at 1:32 am | #

            Oh, did he? I was remembering it as him helping look for a runaway Faz, which I think could be reasonably construed as not open-ended (it’s daytime, Faz is 15 or 17, we’re not talking about a missing toddler). If he made a promise to keep ‘custody’, dubious as that is, then breaking that is a bigger jerk move, agreed.

        • DannyUniverse
          DannyUniverse
          March 29, 2018 at 1:29 am | #

          Excepting that he volunteered to watch him. He told amber and danny that he would watch faz.

          He was the person currently tasked with looking out for faz. I mean, granted, 15 year olds don’t normally have a babysitter in the middle of the day, so this is more joe letting amber and joyce down (Joyce agreed to help, not to watch him on her own), rather than putting faz in danger.

          • CJ
            CJ
            March 29, 2018 at 2:47 am | #

            The only danger Faz is in results from him being obnoxiously annoying to women. So I thought keeping an eye on Faz served to keep Faz out of women’s dorm rooms (not because of keeping Faz safe but because of keeping him from being obnoxious to women).

            • DannyUniverse
              DannyUniverse
              March 29, 2018 at 3:11 am | #

              Very true. I was just trying to say that his responsibility stemmed less from faz being a minor and more towards the fact that he told amber he would look after him.

              I think we are essentially in agreement?

              • CJ
                CJ
                March 29, 2018 at 12:59 pm | #

                Yes, seems like I misunderstood your comment.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              March 29, 2018 at 8:42 am | #

              Well, I suspect Amber’s concern lies in Faz’s behavior getting the authorities involved and thus getting him in trouble with Blaine, which she wouldn’t wish even on Faz.
              She hinted as much in one of the strips right after he showed up.

  43. burntnorris
    burntnorris
    March 29, 2018 at 12:41 am | #

    God dammit, Joe.

  44. Goki
    Goki
    March 29, 2018 at 12:42 am | #

    Oh Malaya…. I couldn’t hate you more. Hot? Debate-able Good for Carla for getting some sense.

  45. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    March 29, 2018 at 12:44 am | #

    Marcie just wails on Joe on the front door stair way and Sals the one who hast to hold her back for once. And as Sal draggs her away they Leave Malaya a confused mess and Joe a beaten up even more confused mess. All while at the same time they’re both thinking, “The hells her deal ?”

    You’re right I want to see it too.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      March 29, 2018 at 12:45 am | #

      I was trying to reply to K.Ivan ruppert.

  46. Roger
    Roger
    March 29, 2018 at 12:49 am | #

    oh i guess nothings getting happening actually. Thanks Malaya.

    Fuckin hell the conniptions are real

  47. Teddae
    Teddae
    March 29, 2018 at 12:52 am | #

    Gosh i actually am kinda glad that carla lost interest in malaya.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      March 29, 2018 at 8:43 am | #

      I’m still not sure what Carla was up to. I doubt that’s over.

  48. Bagge
    Bagge
    March 29, 2018 at 12:54 am | #

    You got you some, Malaya? GOOD FOR YOU. HIGH FIVE.

    Heh, I hope she will to to coax Joe into putting the list online again and give her a ten, just to spite Sal. That would be a perfectly petty thing to do.

    Given her phrasing… I also can’t help but wonder if part of her motivation might not be to get back to MARY by beating her in her own game.
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/04-the-do-list/plottwist/

    • PB
      PB
      March 29, 2018 at 1:07 am | #

      Okay if that’s the case then I approve a little more, but not of Joe getting used for that.

      • jmsr
        jmsr
        March 29, 2018 at 9:33 pm | #

        Best outcome? Malaya asks Joe what her rating is (because that’s the whole point of this interlude for her) and Joe explains why rating women is wrong.

        At which point Malaya either 1)loses her shit at him, or 2)experiences some personal growth.

        Yeah i know, but we can hope.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          March 30, 2018 at 1:17 am | #

          I think JOE will experience some personal growth. Heheheheh…

          Sorry.

  49. Bagge
    Bagge
    March 29, 2018 at 12:58 am | #

    Aren’t we all glad Faz is left with Joyce so he can get some proper guidance?

    “Faz yearns to learn what an ‘hanky panky’ is.”

    “ALL RIGHT, just so you can avoid it until you are married. When a man and a woman loves each other very much (I still haven’t figured out the other combinations so don’t ask) he takes his thing and he rubs her tummy…”

    “Faz is learning so much right now.”

    • PB
      PB
      March 29, 2018 at 1:08 am | #

      … Yes. Yeeeessss please make this happen. 8D

  50. Keulen
    Keulen
    March 29, 2018 at 1:00 am | #

    Dammit Joe you’re supposed to watch Faz, not dump him on someone else. Dammit Malaya you have to worst standards ever.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      March 29, 2018 at 1:11 am | #

      I dunno about that. Mary and her main squeeze are probably worse.

    • Jago
      Jago
      March 29, 2018 at 1:26 am | #

      No, Leslie beats her. By a long shot.

      • Teddae
        Teddae
        March 29, 2018 at 2:32 am | #

        Pretty appropriate gravatar of Mindy xD

    • Chronos
      Chronos
      March 29, 2018 at 2:42 am | #

      It’s not like Malaya went for Faz…

  51. Far
    Far
    March 29, 2018 at 1:01 am | #

    Fingers crossed for Marcie & Sal conversation time!

  52. PB
    PB
    March 29, 2018 at 1:13 am | #

    Meanwhile, inside Carla’s brain:

    The most memeable song of this generation.

    • PB
      PB
      March 29, 2018 at 1:17 am | #

      For PC users.

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      March 29, 2018 at 1:44 am | #

      Pretty sure Carla did in fact write that song.

  53. Jago
    Jago
    March 29, 2018 at 1:24 am | #

    God damn it Joe.

    • Jago
      Jago
      March 29, 2018 at 1:25 am | #

      No wait, GOD DAMN IT MALAYA.

      • Sol Karas
        Sol Karas
        March 29, 2018 at 3:46 am | #

        Why not both?

        • Jago
          Jago
          March 29, 2018 at 9:08 am | #

          yeah.

        • doomska
          doomska
          March 29, 2018 at 3:51 pm | #

          Because Malaya isn’t doing anything wrong from her perspective. Except to the extent that part of her motivation is that she thinks Sal is secretly interested in Joe because she’s acting not interested and she assumes everything Sal says is the opposite of what she really feels, but even then it’s not like they’re in a relationship so it’s a pretty small level of spite in the grand scheme of things, less than they normally exhibit to each other in every conversation tbh.

          Joe I think gets a lot of undeserved grief from the comments section- like I think the whole List plot has been really over-hyped by fans and for that matter the comic itself- but here he’s actually being kind of shitty by bailing on Joyce not just in the middle of an important Feelings conversation, but especially by dumping Faz on her after promising to look after him. I do *understand* why he’s panicking and running away, but it’s still a shitty thing to do.

          • Emily
            Emily
            March 29, 2018 at 8:09 pm | #

            Getting with someone purely for the sake of hurting someone you think is interested in them is a cruel and petty thing to do.

  54. drs
    drs
    March 29, 2018 at 1:27 am | #

    My position:

    *) There is no deep reason for Joe to swear off sex. There’s maybe good reason for him to put hitting on women on hiatus until he examines his attitudes, but that doesn’t apply here.

    *) He’s walking away from a serious conversation that he started, not Joyce; he’s not abandoning a cry for help. It’s a bit rude, but opportunity knocks.

    *) Faz is too bizarre a character to reason about realistically. But “stepbrother of my future stepsister, who will never be part of my actual family” is pretty low-obligation.

    If anyone’s being a jerk here, it’s Malaya, for snagging Joe for the purpose of messing with Sal. Then again, she may find Joe genuinely hot, and he’s infamously single. So…

    • DannyUniverse
      DannyUniverse
      March 29, 2018 at 1:33 am | #

      He promised amber that he would keep an eye on faz. He volunteered for it, he actually had to convince amber of it.

      So yes, joe is dropping an obligation he has to amber.

      • drs
        drs
        March 29, 2018 at 1:36 am | #

        Yeah, I’ve been corrected on that point.

        I still stand by the other points. Agreeing to have sex with Malaya is not ‘backsliding’.

        • Eldritch Gentleman
          Eldritch Gentleman
          March 29, 2018 at 3:43 am | #

          Yeah, Joe’s problem was objectifying women and treating them like sex tools. Malaya openly and actively sought him out so that doesn’t apply here.

        • JoeCovenant
          JoeCovenant
          March 29, 2018 at 7:35 am | #

          Totally agree.
          Too many people seem to be actively looking for ways to *fail* Joe…

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          March 29, 2018 at 8:47 am | #

          Well, Joe seems to think he’s backsliding. “Lasted longer than I expected to.”

          I agree that this wouldn’t normally be bad – other than dumping Faz on Joyce and Malaya’s screwed up motivations, but if he does see it as backsliding he’s likely to take it as a confirmation he can’t be any better and go back to something like his old ways.

    • TemporalShrew
      TemporalShrew
      March 29, 2018 at 1:58 am | #

      Wouldn’t you say he has an obligation to see through the serious conversation *he* started to the end, though, rather than bailing on it the instant it seems to turn in a direction that’s not wholly convenient for him? Like sure, there’s no reason for him to swear off sex, but accepting a proposition under these circumstances isn’t exactly a good look for him from anyone else’s perspective.

      • drs
        drs
        March 30, 2018 at 12:22 am | #

        Eh, I view obligations as situational, not absolute. Like when the apparent costs change. Anyway, is he obliged to continue a conversation that’s not comfortable for him?

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      March 29, 2018 at 2:42 am | #

      “Faz is too bizarre a character to reason about realistically.” That’s well put.

      Faz seems to be a grotesque parody, but I can’t even figure out what he’s a grotesque parody of.

      • Bathymetheus
        Bathymetheus
        March 29, 2018 at 6:08 pm | #

        Dunning Kruger syndrome.

  55. Nono
    Nono
    March 29, 2018 at 1:37 am | #

    I’m still more disappointed in Joyce than Joe. At least Joe’s knows he’s falling off the wagon. Joyce is being told she’s getting pushed onto the tracks and doesn’t believe it.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      March 29, 2018 at 4:39 am | #

      I’m not sure if you can really call Joe’s actions here a relapse. I mean, Malaya basically walked up to him and said: “I want to have sex with you and I suspect that you want sex with me.” For someone like Joe, that’s pretty much a brain-bypass.

      That said, I’m hoping that there are nasty consequences for both principals in this little display.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        March 29, 2018 at 10:06 am | #

        Joe seems to believe he’s backsliding here – “Wow, I lasted longer than I expected to”

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      March 29, 2018 at 5:11 am | #

      I don’t think Joyce thinks Joe’s making up the Sarah thing. Like, she seemed incredulous at first, but her asking Joe about his honest appraisal of her would imply to me that she thinks he’s in fact telling the truth, or at the least, the truth as he understands it. She’s definitely not outright dismissing it.

  56. Abbefaria
    Abbefaria
    March 29, 2018 at 1:37 am | #

    Yes Joe, let the hate flow. Embrace the hot side of the force.

  57. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    March 29, 2018 at 1:47 am | #

    In which Joe fails quietly, but at least understands what real consent looks like.

    • PB
      PB
      March 29, 2018 at 9:30 am | #

      Well put.

  58. TemporalShrew
    TemporalShrew
    March 29, 2018 at 1:56 am | #

    God damn it, Joe.

    God damn it, Malaya.

    God damn its for everyone, on the house.

  59. Apostate
    Apostate
    March 29, 2018 at 1:58 am | #

    Damnit.

  60. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    March 29, 2018 at 1:58 am | #

    And the thought occurs, was Malaya in the bi-appreciation day character post?

    • Raen
      Raen
      March 29, 2018 at 2:16 am | #

      No.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        March 29, 2018 at 11:43 am | #

        So probably not canonically Bi, unless not introduced by that point. I can’t find the chart, and google isn’t helping.

        • Raen
          Raen
          March 29, 2018 at 10:42 pm | #

          Knowing to tread lightly on this topic, that was an in-joke based on the Walkyverse, where after Ruth’s death Billie starts dating Danny. At that time it wasn’t known that Danny was bi, so his presence was a sneaky little joke by Willis, since he knew it would be seen as just an illustration of Billie’s bisexuality. Unless we’re thinking of different things.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            March 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

            Willis did a chart/graphic of all the characters who were bi in canon, because Mr. Willis himself is bi. Malaya is (sorta) bi in the Walkyverse, but I haven’t seen what her canon orientation is in the Dumbiverse. I’m hoping she’s bi so Marcie doesn’t get her heart broken any more.

    • wwwhhattt
      wwwhhattt
      March 29, 2018 at 2:30 am | #

      “Let’s make everyone else hate us more” probably transcends bisexuality

    • Cheshrin
      Cheshrin
      March 29, 2018 at 9:11 pm | #

      Sexuality transfers over from the Walkyverse, and she dated two women in Shortpacked. So she’s probably into women in some regard. The question is if she’s interested in the women who are interested in her.

  61. Dark
    Dark
    March 29, 2018 at 1:58 am | #

    I give it…

    3 comics before Joe stops and realizes why this is a mistake.

  62. PapayaPunkPixie
    PapayaPunkPixie
    March 29, 2018 at 2:00 am | #

    Tbh I ain’t pleased I’m still gay for malaya

  63. BenRG
    BenRG
    March 29, 2018 at 2:02 am | #

    In some ways, Joe was under pretty unprecedented pressure here. I think that Malaya couldn’t have done a better job of pushing his buttons if she’d tried!

    Meanwhile… Well, Carla is out (who can blame her) and I think that Sal and Marcie have a long, hard conversation ahead of them.

  64. Nobody
    Nobody
    March 29, 2018 at 2:52 am | #

    D*MN IT JOE GET YOUR ASS BACK THERE

    • stoodmuffin
      stoodmuffin
      March 29, 2018 at 2:56 am | #

      Literally.

  65. stoodmuffin
    stoodmuffin
    March 29, 2018 at 2:57 am | #

    “Watch Joe literally kick himself in the ass” the musical.

    • stoodmuffin
      stoodmuffin
      March 29, 2018 at 2:57 am | #

      SO CLOSE TO GROWTH, JOE. So close to FEELS.

      I

      • stoodmuffin
        stoodmuffin
        March 29, 2018 at 3:00 am | #

        I mean I get why he does it to himself. But literally it was that “I have a more toxic attitude to fuck buddies than I care to admit because I have unresolved issues of emotional processing,” that got him into so much shit. I get it, but dude. YOU WERE SO CLOSE TO LEARNING.

        • stoodmuffin
          stoodmuffin
          March 29, 2018 at 3:02 am | #

          I should be feeling for Joyce the most, that was some intense emotion/ emoting in the last strip.

          But the one I really feel for is Carla. Sorry, girl.

          Oh, Marice isn’t going to like this either. Which, Sal.

          Okay fuck. Maybe it isn’t just Joe.

          • stoodmuffin
            stoodmuffin
            March 29, 2018 at 3:05 am | #

            I mean, I realize as I talk to myself that this strip isn’t called “Everyone makes informed, healthy, decisions all the time.”

            But is it because I’m mad at them that I’m holding them to a higher standard? Do I assume they should know better? Or is this me being mad at my OWN bad decisions? Hmm.

            Fuck off Joe you were close. DID YOU SEE JOYCE’S PUPPY DOG EYES? YOUR OWN? FUCK OFF, JOE

            • Mr.Morningstar
              Mr.Morningstar
              March 29, 2018 at 3:42 am | #

              i doubt this is the end. When making big life changes youre bound to fall into old habits before youre better.

              e.g. You dont usually break an addiction on the first attempt to quit. Most people give in, but it’s a process. Simply trying to quit is a sign. It’s kinda like that. He’s falling into old habits since Malaya is the only girl who actually wants to have sex with him atm (and i think Joe might actually be a sex addict)

              • Eldritch Gentleman
                Eldritch Gentleman
                March 29, 2018 at 3:47 am | #

                To be completely fair Joe didn’t exactly Fall back into old habits. His problem was objectifying women and treating them as nothing more than sex tools. He doesn’t need to swear off sex, he just needs to start treating women like actual people, not cardboard cut-outs with a hole at crotch level, sorry for my crudeness.

                • DailyBrad
                  DailyBrad
                  March 29, 2018 at 5:14 am | #

                  Yeah, he didn’t wrong Roz, and he’s wronging Malaya even less, given she knows about the list, and is the one making the move even with this knowledge. She’s doing it to spite Sal, seemingly, but then again, Joe’s canonically considered a pretty good looking dude, so maybe she’s just down for some casual sex.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  March 29, 2018 at 7:43 pm | #

                  It can be both. Malaya can have multiple reasons to do things.

  66. Eldritch Gentleman
    Eldritch Gentleman
    March 29, 2018 at 3:16 am | #

    “The lips which touched Joe’s will not touch ours”
    And I think Marcie is having a reboot sequence right now…

  67. Eldritch Gentleman
    Eldritch Gentleman
    March 29, 2018 at 3:40 am | #

    Somehow Sal over there makes me think “Damn, is this what Malaya does when she thinks I don’t care about something? I need to care even less about stuff, that way she’ll make an ass out of herself more often”

  68. Coma
    Coma
    March 29, 2018 at 3:54 am | #

    My first instinct is to assume that Joyce will simply sit idly with Faz around, watching Joe and Malaya walk of.
    But honestly, I personally would love for Joyce to snap out of her disappointment in Joe, and simply drag Faz after them, dumping Faz onto him.

    I mean, it’s not as if they literally “ran” of – they are in walking distance!

  69. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    March 29, 2018 at 4:00 am | #

    “We’re angels, walking among garbage people.”

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      March 29, 2018 at 4:05 am | #

      They could look at Mary and her Boyfriend and it would be like looking in the mirror…

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        March 29, 2018 at 4:15 am | #

        But Mary and What’s-His-Name aren’t two kids in a beautiful non-binary trenchcoat.

        • Eldritch Gentleman
          Eldritch Gentleman
          March 29, 2018 at 4:25 am | #

          What?
          Also your avatar… Malaya! Stop looking so pretty! Stop disguising the fact that you are a piece of shit!

          • Arianod
            Arianod
            March 29, 2018 at 4:32 am | #

            You just hate her because she’s hot 😉

            • Eldritch Gentleman
              Eldritch Gentleman
              March 29, 2018 at 4:35 am | #

              I loath hot weather, that might be that. Pour cold water on her!

          • Delicious Taffy
            Delicious Taffy
            March 29, 2018 at 5:40 am | #

            [Singsong tone] You think she’s preeretty~ You wanna slow-dance with her at night with one of those spinning light ball things throwing little circles of light onto her freckly fasaace~ I’m not projecting at aaaall~

            • Delicious Taffy
              Delicious Taffy
              March 29, 2018 at 6:20 am | #

              There’s a fucking typo in this, and I’m honestly losing my goddamn mind over it.

              • JoeCovenant
                JoeCovenant
                March 29, 2018 at 7:37 am | #

                Yeah?
                It read preretty well to me…

                >:)

              • Reltzik
                Reltzik
                March 29, 2018 at 8:03 am | #

                “A” typo? Singular?

                (I’m evil.)

              • Delicious Taffy
                Delicious Taffy
                March 29, 2018 at 8:13 am | #

                Shit, fuck, it’s all in the mind.

            • Eldritch Gentleman
              Eldritch Gentleman
              March 29, 2018 at 8:30 am | #

              Oh yeah I want to slow dance with her on the balcony, slowly moving towards the edge before throwing her over it into the trash container that’s a meter or two below.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      March 29, 2018 at 4:53 am | #

      I got that reference!

      And Malaya is such a Kevin right now.

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        March 29, 2018 at 10:13 pm | #

        me too 🙂 I was actually planning to say something about her reminding me of Kevin. been too busy to even read half the comments lately

  70. AGV
    AGV
    March 29, 2018 at 4:19 am | #

    Goddamnit Joe
    You could AT THE VERY LEAST tell Joyce that you rather stop there

    But no, just leave her hanging (AND leave Faz with her)

  71. BenRG
    BenRG
    March 29, 2018 at 4:32 am | #

    What was that sound of glass breaking? I do think that was Marcie’s heart. Poor Carla’s heart is likely too calloused and abused because of the life she’s had which, in its own way, is even more tragic.

    • Jago
      Jago
      March 29, 2018 at 8:38 am | #

      Tbh as a lesbian it’s something you just have to expect, sometimes a girl is just not into you.

      • CJ
        CJ
        March 29, 2018 at 12:53 pm | #

        That had nothing to do with being a lesbian. Everyone will sometime meet a person they are into who is not into them. Happens to straight cis guys all the time, but some of them make a point of being all angry about it.

  72. Adam Black
    Adam Black
    March 29, 2018 at 4:46 am | #

    Hm,
    Wait , this might make total sense for Maylaya Motivations.
    She isnt clueless at all how other women feel about the list.

    She gets to be the woman who breaks the Joe -Boycott and ruins it for the sisterhood. She wants to be Notorious, like Joe.
    OH!
    ( i mistakenly thought she was just spiteing Sal. Nope! )

    I really cant fault Malaya ( I mean I can but … ) .
    She is Hot here , just like she said. . So is Joe. Her confidence is sexy. she knows what she wants and goes for it.

    Oddly marcie just learned she was ( maybe ) trying to seduce Maylaya the wrong way.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 29, 2018 at 5:25 am | #

      I strongly believe in that reading of her.

      I mean, I ALSO think she is trying to spite Sal (by making sure to get a 10), but it’s not only that.

  73. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    March 29, 2018 at 5:00 am | #

    MArcie is gonna murder Joe.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      March 29, 2018 at 5:27 am | #

      I think that she’s going to want to find a corner to hide in first and get her emotions under control.

  74. Bagge
    Bagge
    March 29, 2018 at 5:07 am | #

    No complaining, Joyce. Friends help friends getting boyfriends, right?

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/newfriends/

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 29, 2018 at 5:08 am | #

      Or… something like that.

      Right? No takebacks on your friendship speech.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/dna/

  75. Pl0x
    Pl0x
    March 29, 2018 at 5:27 am | #

    Joyce looks so funny to me in this strip. Her expressions seems overly dramatic. Plus her dialogue is just two people’s names. But I get it; she’s just kind of speechless. I don’t ship Joe and Joyce, so what’s awful about Joe’s behaviour here for me is LEAVING HER ALONE WITH FAZ THE LITTLE CREEP-ASS.

    Joyce yells, ”SAL, HEEEEEELLLLP” as she grips Faz tightly. But then Faz wriggles out of his jacket which Joyce was gripping. And then Sal and Joyce have to do another high speed motorcycle chase!!!

  76. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    March 29, 2018 at 6:07 am | #

    So Joe gets a consensual hookup while Joyce considers that she might be beautiful enough to destroy a happy relationship.

    Wait, why is Joe the bad guy here?

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      March 29, 2018 at 6:18 am | #

      He left her with Faz, mostly. The same Faz he gave his word he’d keep an eye on.

      • DailyBrad
        DailyBrad
        March 29, 2018 at 4:03 pm | #

        Yeah, the Faz dump is the problem here, along with ditching Joyce when she is trying to get him to open up.

        There’s also the matter of leaving her alone in public, but he doesn’t know the extent of her Ryan baggage as far as I know.

    • Jago
      Jago
      March 29, 2018 at 8:33 am | #

      He isn’t really, but he is abandoning Faz, aka his promise to his new maybesister Amber.

  77. Untes
    Untes
    March 29, 2018 at 6:25 am | #

    I literally do not understand Malaya’s character. At all.

    • Ainara
      Ainara
      March 29, 2018 at 6:39 am | #

      She just enjoys being an asshole, especially to Sal whom she particularly dislikes. She thought Sal liked Joe because she was talking to him(i think?) so she saw hooking up with Joe as an opportunity to one-up Sal.

      Who, I assume, doesn’t give a shit.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      March 29, 2018 at 12:09 pm | #

      What’s confusing? She’s hot, he’s hot, and they’ll be hated together.

  78. James Rye
    James Rye
    March 29, 2018 at 6:29 am | #

    Joe’s hand went straight to the right boob. They’re going to fuck for hours like rabbits. Joe has a lot of ground to recover from the past dry days. Well, it was to be expected that he cannot hold out for long once he gets an opportunity.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      March 29, 2018 at 8:17 am | #

      If boobs are on offer, who in Joe’s place would refuse?

    • Jago
      Jago
      March 29, 2018 at 8:32 am | #

      He put his arm around her.

  79. Ainara
    Ainara
    March 29, 2018 at 6:36 am | #

    Let’s, uh, hope he doesn’t regret this.

    • Emily
      Emily
      March 29, 2018 at 7:03 am | #

      I hope he does.

    • Insanenoodlyguy
      Insanenoodlyguy
      March 29, 2018 at 7:51 am | #

      I’m pretty sure any attempt to spend time with Malaya immediately after the sex will be something he’d regret now, and would probably regret pre-list exposure, on account of it will be Malayla being Malayla.

  80. Just a Ian
    Just a Ian
    March 29, 2018 at 7:23 am | #

    I feel sorry for marcie the most if they go through with this..

    • Insanenoodlyguy
      Insanenoodlyguy
      March 29, 2018 at 7:52 am | #

      Honestly Marcie might have been done a favor here. She’s just got a big hard-to-ignore “this is who Malaya is” message. That might be helpful in the long run.

      • Eldritch Gentleman
        Eldritch Gentleman
        March 29, 2018 at 10:40 am | #

        Better a broken heart now than waiting for the crush chemicals to wear off and seeing the mess you got yourself into.

      • doomska
        doomska
        March 29, 2018 at 3:45 pm | #

        Honestly there is an astounding amount of nice guy logic floating around the comments here with regard to Malaya.

        First of all, Marcie has never told Malaya she has a crush on her. Malaya is clearly quite oblivious to this (as evidenced in her “Marcie’s always been straight with me” comic/gag.)

        Secondly, Malaya views Marcie as a friend and thinks that they’re just friends. If Marcie views this friendship as just a way to get in Malaya’s pants then she’s the one being a shitty manipulative person.

        Thirdly Malaya is entitled to fuck whoever she wants, she doesn’t owe Malaya anything even if she did know about her crush.

        • DailyBrad
          DailyBrad
          March 29, 2018 at 4:07 pm | #

          Yeah, only thing Malaya could be said to be doing bad with respect to Marcie is that Marcie asked her to be nicer to Sal, and spitefucking a dude to slight her isn’t really doing that. Then again, Malaya might just want to bone Joe, anyway. She did call him hot, and Joe’s generally presented as one of the best looking guys in the school (Jacob is his own tier, followed by Joe and Ethan).

          • doomska
            doomska
            March 29, 2018 at 4:25 pm | #

            I mean kind of, but she also actually talked to Sal about it in what, for Malaya, amounts to a friendly way, or at least friendly rival way. This was more a, “Ah, you’re trying to play hard to get, aren’t ya. Let me show you the RIGHT way to get in List Guy’s pants.” Like she’s not going behind Sal’s back at all (disregarding that Sal actually just doesn’t care about Joe.)

            So there’s some amount of wanting to show Sal up but it’s a lot less malicious than people are acting like.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              March 29, 2018 at 7:46 pm | #

              A) Just because Malaya thinks it’s not malicious or shitty doesn’t mean it’s actually not.

              B) While you are correct that Malaya doesn’t know Marcie likes her and wouldn’t be obligated to date her even if she did, people are still allowed to feel sorry for Marcie knowing her crush won’t be reciprocated – she’s not done anything shitty yet (especially since it seems like she DOES enjoy hanging out with Malaya aside from wanting to bang her).

  81. Omymel
    Omymel
    March 29, 2018 at 7:52 am | #

    I wonder how disappointed Marcie will be. I’m sort of afraid Marcie will be really upset. Sal will then be mad at Malaya, leading to Malaya to think she got under Sal’s skin. Then maybe Sal will blow up on Malaya and out Marcie’s secret crush. That would probably be bad for everyone involved. I shall hope that Marcie isn’t devastated by this

  82. Vulcanodon
    Vulcanodon
    March 29, 2018 at 8:06 am | #

    So many subroutines running in the background, using up memory…

    When is Dorothy going to wake up and realize she 1) she overslept, and 2) she may have had unprotected sex? (A possibility given the haste and mental dishevelment)

    Why is Faz here? WTF has Blaine done now?

    Joyce is going to circle back around to “Sarah wants you to be with Jacob” and confront Sarah.

    Joyce is incredulous at Joe’s departure. But she’ll dream about Jacob tonight.

    And maybe, hopefully, Marcie will turn to Sal and they’ll work things out. They are real friends and it’s just wrong for them to be apart like that.

    Malaya? I got nothin’.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      March 29, 2018 at 8:54 am | #

      2) Please, if one of them didn’t turn the key at the right time, the whole process would have shut down.

    • DannyUniverse
      DannyUniverse
      March 29, 2018 at 5:43 pm | #

      I think that Walky understands how important it is to Dorothy that sex is very protected, and even if she was too tired to make sure all protections were in place I think Walky would make sure that they were. Though I guess if Dorothy was actively telling him that the protection didn’t matter… but even then.
      ..
      I mean that could even be why Dorothy had substainlly more clothes on than him. She could have decided that the easiest way to protect herself was to not involve her genitals. Or for them to switch off in ways that would minimise risk. I definitely sometimes was like we are not going to have our underwear off at the same time because I was terrified of getting pregnant.

      • Vulcanodon
        Vulcanodon
        March 29, 2018 at 7:38 pm | #

        I hope so. And it would be a big point in Walky’s favor if he remembers even if (I give twenty percent chance) she did not.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          March 29, 2018 at 8:57 pm | #

          I’d assume given the earlier line about her protocols, that she’s using some kind of long term contraception, the pill or an iud or some such, in addition to condoms. So a lapse here would be unlikely to have serious consequences.

          And I’d assume Walky would remember.

          And I’d assume we’re not going to have a pregnancy scare storyline. (Certainly not an actual pregnancy one. It would be years before she could even know she was pregnant.

  83. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    March 29, 2018 at 8:07 am | #

    Okay, I just realized that Joe’s being a little jerky by abandoning Joyce out in the open when she’s got her phobia. But… she still ran out here on her own and can quite easily get back to the dorms.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      March 29, 2018 at 8:54 am | #

      Besides, she’s not alone. She’s got Faz with her.

      …

      Oh dear.

  84. Remmington Steele
    Remmington Steele
    March 29, 2018 at 9:00 am | #

    Oh, Jalaya, for you it’s the Bloodhound Gang’s Bad Touch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k

    • Remmington Steele
      Remmington Steele
      March 29, 2018 at 9:05 am | #

      Marcie, Marcie, Marcie, please Stop Chasing Rainbows!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaK6Ytri26s

  85. Tealjoy
    Tealjoy
    March 29, 2018 at 9:26 am | #

    “Joe and Malaya preform a sure-why-not” Thank you Willis hahahaha

  86. Josie
    Josie
    March 29, 2018 at 9:26 am | #

    Poor Marcie 🙁

    Joe’s shooting down the glimmer of a chance that he just had with Joyce. I wonder if he’s obtuse? Or if he thinks he doesn’t deserve Joyce and he’s sinking his ship on purpose

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      March 29, 2018 at 10:18 am | #

      He knows that if he dated Joyce he’d hurt her, just like his father hurt his mom. He’d been made to realize that even his emotion-free ways were still hurting people, but that didn’t make him think he’d be safe in an actual relationship.

  87. Bathymetheus
    Bathymetheus
    March 29, 2018 at 10:31 am | #

    Slightly off topic, but I was just listening to Professor Stephen Pinker (Harvard) talk on the radio about his new book “Enlightenment Now”. He is very proud of the 75 graphs and charts it contains.

    • CoMa
      CoMa
      March 29, 2018 at 2:48 pm | #

      I see the relevance, however, I have to note I’d be proud of having 75 graphs as well, because that means those have not only be designed but also discussed and that is a heck load of work, including the transformation of information into a comprehensible graph itself.

      • Bathymetheus
        Bathymetheus
        March 29, 2018 at 6:00 pm | #

        Actually, yes. It’s amusing in the context of DoA, but to be fair to Prof. Pinker, it’s a good and useful book, very relevant to our troubled times.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          March 29, 2018 at 11:09 pm | #

          Is it more succinct and readable than The Better Angels of Our Nature? I had to slog through that book. Does it address the lead and crime hypothesis? I found Pinker’s explanation of the rise and fall of crime between the Sixties and the Noughties in BAoON unsatisfactory. Has Pinker connected the violent culture of the South, African-Americans, and the poor in America with bad policing yet? I thought that was obvious from his sources, but he wittered on about Antebellum culture and getting democracy before freedom.

  88. Cmd1095
    Cmd1095
    March 29, 2018 at 11:00 am | #

    Alright people are hating on Joe here a lot, but I’ll defend him a tiny bit even if he is making the wrong choice here. He’s only recently been trying to break his old bad habits, and old habits die hard, and some random hot chick is walking up to him and basically offering him free sex. (GOD DAMN IT MALAYA)

    Now obviously actually taking her up on this right now is a terrible choice, but being fair, he hasn’t gone cold turkey for long enough to make the right choice here. What will determine whether this is him being an asshole or just relapsing into bad habits will be how he comports himself AFTER this.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      March 29, 2018 at 11:38 am | #

      And lots of people have also defended Joe on that. All context aside, there’s no real issue with Joe hooking up with Malaya. Her motivations are all screwed up, but that’s not Joe’s fault.
      Dumping Faz on Joyce is his fault. That he sees this as falling off the wagon is a problem, since it makes it more likely he’ll drop back into his old self. That he’s just walking off on a deep conversation with Joyce might be understandable, but it’s still a jerk move.

      And I suspect the true crux of this hasn’t hit yet. It’s not afterwards that we’ll see, it’s when he finds out that Malaya’s throwing herself at him BECAUSE of the list and his old reputation. That’s going to be a challenge.

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        March 29, 2018 at 5:02 pm | #

        I wonder if Malaya likes Taylor Swift…

  89. Stellar
    Stellar
    March 29, 2018 at 11:17 am | #

    I’ve forgotten. Has anyone actually contacted Faz’s legal guardians? Or has he just been repeatedly dumped on other people?

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      March 29, 2018 at 11:32 am | #

      No, Amber did not. Likely because she didn’t want even Faz to get into trouble with Blaine.
      And this is the first time he’s been dumped on anyone. Joe volunteered, thinking he was helping Amber and Danny hookup.

    • CJ
      CJ
      March 29, 2018 at 12:47 pm | #

      Amber mentioned something of not having been able to reach his mother.

  90. Zellgato
    Zellgato
    March 29, 2018 at 11:28 am | #

    Ah joe joe.

  91. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    March 29, 2018 at 12:15 pm | #

    Joe is dumb and Malaya is evil. Is it a pattern that Joe only has sex with evil women like Robin’s sister, Penny and Malaya? Those women are assholes and desperate for sex.

    • Geoff
      Geoff
      March 29, 2018 at 12:37 pm | #

      Wait now Roz is evil? And Malaya is evil? And Penny is evil?

      Being an asshole /=/ being evil. Also Malaya is 18 and Penny is in her early 20s, of course they want to get laid. And for some reason no value judgement on Joe wanting to get laid, just the “evil” ladies.

      Being oblivious to Marcie’s crush on her doesn’t make Malaya evil. Going for it when a super hot woman throws herself at you means that Joe is a normal 18 year old, not that he’s an idiot (in fact I’d argue that turning that Malaya down would make him an idiot). Even if he knew that Malaya was “evil” (which he doesn’t, and also which she isn’t) he’s still 18 and would have a hell of a time not giving in to the temptation.

      • Daibhid C
        Daibhid C
        March 29, 2018 at 1:47 pm | #

        “I assume everyone hates me for being better than them and I’m fine with that. I also assume you feel the same way.” Nope, no warning signs there whatsoever.

      • abysswatcher1993
        abysswatcher1993
        March 29, 2018 at 4:53 pm | #

        Okay, they aren’t evil, but they are jerks. Penny accused Jason without evidence and for fun (yes, he did the act, but she didn’t knew), and even told him that she can get away with things because she is popular; Roz is a manipulative bastard and an hypocrite that uses liberal ideas as an excuse for her selfishness (even Leslie told her to shut up); and Malaya can be considered just an annoying person that doesn’t wnat to make peace just because she has the same fake bravado as Sal.

      • Emily
        Emily
        March 29, 2018 at 8:20 pm | #

        Nah, Malaya is defs evil. She’s just a petty, everyday kind of evil like internet trolls or people who smoke in bus shelters.

    • Red Comet
      Red Comet
      March 29, 2018 at 12:49 pm | #

      Evil is far too strong, especially for Roz. What did she even do wrong aside from having strong political opinions.

      Desperate for sex? They wanted to hook up. That part has never been the problem.

      The issue for Penny was that besides being an ass she hooked up with a student which was unethical.

      • Eldritch Gentleman
        Eldritch Gentleman
        March 29, 2018 at 3:06 pm | #

        Evil is too strong indeed but Roz was kinda manipulative. The only reason she had sex with Joe and then published that tape was to get back at her family, try to ruin their reputation and all that. Also the whole thing Could have hurt Joe.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          March 29, 2018 at 3:36 pm | #

          IIRC, Joe agreed to that tape, and furthermore there have been Slipshines published since then showing that Joe and Roz wasn’t just a one-time hookup.

          • Eldritch Gentleman
            Eldritch Gentleman
            March 29, 2018 at 4:14 pm | #

            Okay this is just hilarious. I’ve always laughed at the irony of the uber-feminist having sex with the most chauvinistic duchebro in the entire cast but this, this is absolute peak of comedy XD

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              March 29, 2018 at 5:34 pm | #

              IIRC, she says something like “I can always go back to him, cause he’s always willing. And as long as he shuts up, it’s not bad. He’s got stamina.”

              • Eldritch Gentleman
                Eldritch Gentleman
                March 29, 2018 at 5:43 pm | #

                That’s actually kind of sad that she has to resort to… Joe.

                • Agemegos
                  Agemegos
                  March 29, 2018 at 6:09 pm | #

                  Maybe he’s a good fuck.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  March 29, 2018 at 7:11 pm | #

                  To quote: “Joe’s technique is okay, but his best quality is his stamina.”
                  And “Sometimes, if I can’t line up anybody else, I know he’s always available for more.”

                  I was misremembering the bit about shuts up. 🙁

  92. Elsendor
    Elsendor
    March 29, 2018 at 12:29 pm | #

    joe nooo

    • Geoff
      Geoff
      March 29, 2018 at 12:38 pm | #

      JOE YES

      (Full disclosure I’ve thought Malaya was a total babe since she first appeared in Shortpacked!)

  93. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    March 29, 2018 at 1:15 pm | #

    Marcie probably has the most dumbfounded face in history right now… I would be wondering “just what the hell just happened” too, to be honest

  94. wakeangel2001
    wakeangel2001
    March 29, 2018 at 2:14 pm | #

    I’m not even gonna judge, you do you…and her…and him…however this works

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 29, 2018 at 2:45 pm | #

      You go Malaya! You Joe Joe!

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      March 29, 2018 at 3:36 pm | #

      Joe promised to help Amber, Joyce volunteered to help, and now he’s leaving her to do the whole thing. Why isn’t that something to judge?

  95. Roborat
    Roborat
    March 29, 2018 at 3:30 pm | #

    Okay, I have to ask, at this point only four (well five if you count Faz), will know Joe and Malaya hooked up, how is that going to translate into everyone hating them more? Are they going to have sex on the front lawn?

    Also, does this mean I will need to renew my Slipshine account?

    • doomska
      doomska
      March 29, 2018 at 4:03 pm | #

      Well if they’re not having sex on the front lawn then presumably they’re going back to someone’s dorm room and more people will see them along the way. I mean. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume word of sex happenings will get around, that tends to be how gossip mills work.

  96. Joyfulldreams
    Joyfulldreams
    March 29, 2018 at 3:36 pm | #

    Way to just leave Joyce in the lurch when you literally KNOW she’s still nervous about being outside by herself. :/

    Having Faz with her does not even count, he actually actively makes this WORSE than being by herself.

    • Jago
      Jago
      March 29, 2018 at 6:39 pm | #

      Where is everyone getting this from? She was alone before the caugth Faz, outside.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        March 29, 2018 at 7:16 pm | #

        No. She caught him here, inside the hall. Last time we saw her before that she was waiting outside Dorothy’s room with plastic spoons.

        She’s been better at venturing out alone, but she’s still not real comfortable with it.

  97. Deadjolras
    Deadjolras
    March 29, 2018 at 5:50 pm | #

    disappointedbutnotsurprised.jpg

  98. Rocketboy1313
    Rocketboy1313
    March 29, 2018 at 5:57 pm | #

    I like Malaya. She has roughly my level of not giving a fuck about peer pressure and focus on thing she wants.

    • Emily
      Emily
      March 29, 2018 at 8:25 pm | #

      You can not give a fuck about peer pressure without being an insufferable asshole towards everyone you come in contact with.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      March 29, 2018 at 8:48 pm | #

      But the thing she wants is to show that she’s better than Sal, who really doesn’t give a fuck about peer pressure.

  99. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    March 29, 2018 at 7:09 pm | #

    Joe’s current theme, IMO.

  100. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    March 29, 2018 at 9:22 pm | #

    Did Malaya ensnare Joe’s interest without a butt shot?

  101. hapax
    hapax
    March 29, 2018 at 9:32 pm | #

    TBH I kinda hate myself for finding panel 2 Malaya completely adorable.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      April 2, 2018 at 5:15 pm | #

      Me too. Where has she been “hiding” that part of her–not her appearance, but her pleasant, appealing, even beguiling, demeanor?

  102. Jhon
    Jhon
    March 29, 2018 at 10:01 pm | #

    Malaya seems to be operating under the delusion that she is hated because people are jealous of her hotness. So being hated is proof that she’s hot!

    (people are also jealous of her for being totally not fake. and owning Fuckface.)

  103. chris73
    chris73
    March 29, 2018 at 10:01 pm | #

    As a long-time defender of Joe I can’t really blame him for going and getting some except that he promised he’d look after Faz

    Thats a major dick move on Joes part and the actions of a boy not man

  104. Zaxares
    Zaxares
    March 30, 2018 at 5:03 am | #

    … Well.

    On the bright side, at least that seems to have cured both Carla and Marcie of their unhealthy interest/obsession with Malaya. 😛

  105. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    March 31, 2018 at 7:27 pm | #

    JOE FOR FUCKS SAKE GOD DAMIT

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      April 2, 2018 at 4:10 pm | #

      Yes, he is doing it for fucks sake.

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 4h
Phew, they made NoHo Hank wear pants.
A McFarlane Toys action figure of Metamorpho, from James Gunn's Superman movie.  He's wearing pants.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 4h
where's my hour loop of Vader fist-dancing
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 9h
Hot Toys Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith 1/6 Scale Darth Vader Deluxe ($495) & Standard ($315) is up for preorder at Sideshow - shrsl.com/4wcx6 #ad If you preorder make sure to hit the Exclusive versions since they include a commemorative plaque and cost the same.
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ryannorth.ca's user avatar
Ryan North @ryannorth.ca ⋅ 9h
hey, FANTASTIC FOUR got an Eisner nomination for best ongoing series!! I think this news is... really great! Fantastic even :0
the cover of FF #1 featuring some beautiful art of said Fantastic Four
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 6h
oh no, new content over at the nsfw patreon joe introduces joyce to fingers that aren't breaded chicken www.patreon.com/posts/joe-fi...
tastefully cropped art of joe and joyce discovering the joys of fingers
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 6h
I may have to pin this
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 15h
#relatable
header image - a man in a hospital gown says
media.tenor.com
a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
ALT: a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
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reposted by David M Willis!
osmote.net's user avatar
OSMOTE @osmote.net ⋅ 1d
Screenshot of Jonathan Frakes on the set of Beyond Belief
brendelbored.bsky.social's user avatarBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social ⋅ 1y
Politico: Ever been slapped by breasts?
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joshuajfriedman.com's user avatar
Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com ⋅ 1d
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
The problems with this prosecution are legion, but most immediately, the
government cannot prosecute Judge Dugan because she is entitled to judicial immunity for her official acts. Immunity is not a defense to the prosecution to be determined later by a jury or court; it is an absolute bar to the prosecution at the outset. See Trump v. United States,
603 U.S. 593, 630 (2024).
joshgerstein.bsky.social's user avatarJosh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Dumbing of Age: "Up, continued" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomic #webcomics
www.dumbingofage.com
Up, continued
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reposted by David M Willis!
theonion.com's user avatar
The Onion @theonion.com ⋅ 1d
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
header image - You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
theonion.com
You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
GOTTEM
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parsnip.bsky.social's user avatar
geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
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aubreygilleran.bsky.social's user avatar
Aubrey Gilleran @aubreygilleran.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
atrupar.com's user avatarAaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 1d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
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catacalypto.bsky.social's user avatar
Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
1984 calendar meme reading 1529, the year of the first Ottoman siege of Vienna
spavel.bsky.social's user avatarPavel🐀 @spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
*at the very end of Andor, cassian travels through a vortex that makes everyone look a decade younger*
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
(May 14, 2026)
a bemused lucy watches as somebody collapses on her dorm room floor
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Up" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic #dofa
www.dumbingofage.com
Up
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
i mean i... guess there are people who want toy-accurate hyper-articulated original-toy-look guys but in cartoon colors for some reason
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Fuck you, Clayface!!!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609982... selling my LG34 Mindwipe, minus Servant
header image - Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete | eBay
Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many pro...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Menace Level: up to date on his vaccinations
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned Gran is back from the grave so she can jerk it to furry porn with her daughter
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609184... 5 hours left on my 4-jet titans return tidal wave
header image - Transformers Siege on Cybertron Titans Return Tidal Wave incomplete, restickered | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers Siege on Cybertron Titans Return Tidal Wave incomplete, restickered | eBay
Check out those stickers. They make him look pretty great, actually. That aircraft carrier mode shines. Tidal Wave is loose and incomplete! So there's only four (4) jets!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
confirming that the reason there's been no Galaxy Version female characters in Blokees until now is that they felt they needed to make Round Lady Thighs For Ladies
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "For you" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
For you
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
y'know there's not an awful lot of rocketeering in The Rocketeer
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dril.bsky.social's user avatar
wint @dril.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
buddy you came to the wrong ass to fuck
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Man if they were arresting judges then this'd be the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard but thankfully that's not happening.
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