Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Shrug

by David M Willis on March 30, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Faz Is Great
└ Tags: faz, joe, joyce, malaya, marcie, sal

Discussion (229) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    March 30, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    dang, I agree with Faz, is it already April Fools or something? D=

    • Ophidiophile
      Ophidiophile
      March 30, 2018 at 2:35 am | #

      I think Faz is alluding to Joyce being abandoned, in the smoothest pickup line he’s made so far.

      • kendermouse
        kendermouse
        March 30, 2018 at 4:43 am | #

        Nah, he’s referring to the fact that he thought Joe was gonna teach him how better to be a ladies’ man.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        March 30, 2018 at 10:12 am | #

        “Clearly your heart has been broken. May I suggest using Faz’s lips to soothe your pain?”

    • SomeDumbGuy
      SomeDumbGuy
      March 30, 2018 at 1:43 pm | #

      The man’s face is made of solid painted plaster

      • foamy
        foamy
        March 30, 2018 at 2:40 pm | #

        … weirdly enough though, the immobile smile engraved on it bears a resemblance to Joyce’s…

  2. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    March 30, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    sometimes a lonely way
    taking your name down from the jumbotron

  3. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    March 30, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    Faz has expressed a human emotion! Perhaps he can pass the Turing Test after all!

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      March 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      The Turing Test is for AIs, not residents of the planet Sxonaos like Faz probably is.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 30, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

        Honestly, Faz is kind of what I think would happen if you made a robot and plugged it into the internet to learn human behavior, but forgot to install parental controls.

        • sylvestrus
          sylvestrus
          March 30, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

          Faz is Pintsize?

          • King Daniel
            King Daniel
            March 30, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

            Fazsize. Pintfaz? Fintsaz?

            • Ana Chronistic
              Ana Chronistic
              March 30, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

              Pazfize

              • Badeyes
                Badeyes
                March 30, 2018 at 1:39 am | #

                None of these can ever be allowed to exist. The resulting repulsivness singularity would eat galaxies

          • Bickendan
            Bickendan
            March 30, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

            Suddenly everything is explained.
            Paging Jeph for confirmation.

          • LookingIn
            LookingIn
            March 30, 2018 at 4:06 am | #

            Nah, Pintsize seems to have some measure of self control…even if it’s only a passing nanosecond

          • weirderthanweird
            weirderthanweird
            March 30, 2018 at 7:10 am | #

            I wonder how he feels about toast…

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              March 30, 2018 at 10:14 am | #

              “Sourdough. Chicks DIG sourdough.”

        • motorfirebox
          motorfirebox
          March 30, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

          Not enough cusses or racial slurs.

          • ozzi
            ozzi
            March 30, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

            and fazs operating system isn’t full of prime number porn.

            • Bagge
              Bagge
              March 30, 2018 at 1:12 am | #

              Give him time…

        • Dandi_Andi
          Dandi_Andi
          March 30, 2018 at 3:09 am | #

          I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that happened already.

          For real

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          March 30, 2018 at 6:31 am | #

          [a href=”https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tay_(bot)”]MicroSoft Tay[/a]. Twitter taught a chatbot to be a racist arsehole in under sixteen hours.

          • Agemegos
            Agemegos
            March 30, 2018 at 6:32 am | #

            MicroSoft Tay. Twitter taught a chatbot to be a racist arsehole in under sixteen hours.

    • Pink Freud
      Pink Freud
      March 30, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

      Well now see I was assuming he was making the observation to sorta “neg” Joyce in the hopes she’d get depressed and needy and he could jump her.

      • Reepicheep-chan
        Reepicheep-chan
        March 30, 2018 at 2:38 pm | #

        That would display far more competence than I think Faz is capable of? If Faz was gonna try and neg a girl it would be obvious and probably hilarious.

        IDK, this Faz is still a child, I don’t think he is as hopeless visa-vi human emotions as Faz-prime. And we all know his shitty bio-dad is actively part of his life in this one.

        • Human
          Human
          March 30, 2018 at 8:59 pm | #

          Blaine isn’t Faz’s bio-dad in DOA.

  4. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    March 30, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    How do I work tag searching on this interface?

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      March 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      url/tag/character name
      Example:
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/sal/
      (Also available by just clicking the tag under the comic)
      You can also do +character to look for comics containing multiple characters, such as /tag/sal+marcie

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        March 30, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

        Thanks.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 30, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/galasso+amazi-girl/

        0 results

        A-HA!

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          March 30, 2018 at 1:20 am | #

          So wait… This means…

          …That Galasso is not Danny!

  5. poofdepoof
    poofdepoof
    March 30, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    Wait I’m with Sal ~ Marcie explain

    • Stu
      Stu
      March 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      “Meh, I’d still hit it” is my guess. Either that or Marcie’s okay with polyamory.

      • Thulcandran
        Thulcandran
        March 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

        I mean, I think part of it is that Sal’s apology wasn’t in sympathy for Malaya seducing/hitting on/whatever Joe, but for fucking up her security guard gig (and generally being kind of a tool), like, three plots ago.

        • LeslieBean4Shizzle
          LeslieBean4Shizzle
          March 30, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

          Are you suggesting that Marcie is still mad at Sal and therefore doesn’t want to share her feelings? Huh. Possible. That sort of fits in with theory three of mine (below) that states that Marcie is upset but is acting tough in front of Sal.

          • Thulcandran
            Thulcandran
            March 30, 2018 at 2:09 am | #

            No, not at all. I don’t have an explanation. That was just my reading of Sal’s intent.

        • newllend(henryvolt)
          newllend(henryvolt)
          March 30, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

          Yeah I can see her being sorry about that too but it really feels like that’s not what this apology is about.

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        March 30, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

        or maybe “you win some, you lose some”?

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        March 30, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

        I mean, Marcie was part of Squad 48 in the Walkyverse, and IIRC all of them were more-or-less in a big poly relationship there…and accounting for Willis’s “sexuality is constant between the ‘verses” rule, I’d say it’s a safe bet that Marcie is indeed fine with polyamory.

        • LeslieBean4Shizzle
          LeslieBean4Shizzle
          March 30, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

          Ah yes. Squad 48 was the best.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            March 30, 2018 at 7:48 am | #

            Best thing about Squad 48 is that it provided some cool characters for DoA.

            It started out, as Willis put it later, as “Joe’s 5-girl-orgy wet dream”, which isn’t quite so cool.

        • LeslieBean4Shizzle
          LeslieBean4Shizzle
          March 30, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

          That is a good point though – I’d forgotten about that plot detail from IW until you brought it up. Actually, as a fairly big fan of Poly myself, I hope that is it. I think I am just assuming the worst below because, well, that is usually the correct answer around here.

        • Les Moore
          Les Moore
          March 30, 2018 at 5:41 pm | #

          Is polyamory considered a sexuality now?

          (asking for a friend).

          • LeslieBean4Shizzle
            LeslieBean4Shizzle
            March 30, 2018 at 6:20 pm | #

            Not per se, but it is a general component of sexuality, and therefore would transfer.
            As a bisexual, homoromantic, semi-hypersexual, pro-polyamory woman, I can say with a surety that it is an important component of my sexual identity. Thus it might also be for your friend.

      • No Name
        No Name
        March 30, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

        We know Marcie’s poly. We also know Marcie would tap Joe. Granted, this was alternate universe Joe, but Joe in his squad 48 days was about as mature as Joe now, so meh. My guess is at least part of this is “maybe I’ll get a hot threesome out of this”.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      March 30, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

      It is also possible that Marcie is currently in some sort of deep denial. She might snap and freak out at any moment.
      Or perhaps she already thought that Mayala wasn’t interested in her and just wants to see her crush happy?
      Or perhaps she’s crying and just trying to hide that fact from Sal using her goggle/glasses thingys?
      I have no idea – I’m right there with you and Sal hoping for an explanation from either Marcie herself or the comic in general.

      • Reepicheep-chan
        Reepicheep-chan
        March 30, 2018 at 2:45 pm | #

        See, I don’t think there would be any reason for Marcie to assume that is anything other than a one-time hook-up or to assume it meant that her and Mayala is never going to happen, especially when Mayala doesn’t know Marcie has feelings for her.

        Not saying it would not be human nature for a person in Marcie’s situation to be hurt, but I am not sure why people are looking at it like this hook-up is the start of a monogamous relationship between Mayala and Joe of all people, haha

        • LeslieBean4Shizzle
          LeslieBean4Shizzle
          March 30, 2018 at 6:09 pm | #

          Whose assuming that this is the start of anything remotely monogamous? Not me.
          However, as someone who had a crush on a straight girl once, it can be pretty heart breaking to see a straight girl that you are crushing on not even notice your feelings and date a boy right in front of you. So yeah, if I was Marcie, even being totally okay with Poly, I might still be upset about this situation since it could indicate that Mayala might not be interested ever.

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      March 30, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

      I think Marcie, as a reasonable adult, has said “ok I guess she’s probably not into girls, or at least not into me. Time to move on”

      Could be wrong though.

      • Pope William T Wodium
        Pope William T Wodium
        March 30, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

        This was my interpretation as well.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        March 30, 2018 at 1:14 am | #

        Another possible aspect of it is that she is of the hook. This frees her from making a move, from risking rejection, from opening up… Can be a pretty big surge of relief.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          March 30, 2018 at 1:59 am | #

          Point. I’ve had that a couple of times recently.

      • Anna
        Anna
        March 30, 2018 at 4:26 am | #

        But even a reasonable adult would (or could) be pretty sad about that for a while before being totally fine with it.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          March 30, 2018 at 7:49 am | #

          Yeah, and there’s a smile with that shrug. I’d not sure how to read this.

  6. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    March 30, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    If Faz ever opened his eyes you would see the tears of a clown. Faz is the true hero this comic needs.

    • Remmington Steele
      Remmington Steele
      March 30, 2018 at 4:47 am | #

      If Faz opened his eyes, you’d see into a deep black void where the crows circle and carrion thoughts lie like leaf-mould around the bones of male tropes hung above the ever-circling pits of undigested feelings.

  7. Yumi
    Yumi
    March 30, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    Aw, baby…

    (That is directed at FAZ. What is HAPPENING?!)

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      March 30, 2018 at 1:02 am | #

      Faz has always dreamed of someone saying “aw baby” directed at Faz’s self.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        March 30, 2018 at 7:52 am | #

        Phew. Back to normal. Sympathy averted.
        Thanks.

    • wwwhhattt
      wwwhhattt
      March 30, 2018 at 9:40 pm | #

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuhgHzuPYiI

  8. Stu
    Stu
    March 30, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    So my big question is – does Joyce now think (or possibly know – not sure if it’s been confirmed) that Joe has feelings for her?

    • BigDogLittleCat
      BigDogLittleCat
      March 30, 2018 at 12:40 am | #

      I think she was starting to think that, and Joe might have almost started to think that, when Malaya interrupted.
      I think Joyce’s reaction is not to Joe’s falling off the wagon, so much as to his being this close to admitting some sort of affection for her, then immediately walking off with a complete stranger.

      Joe probably wasn’t going to announce anything definite, but they got awfully close to admitting that they think the other is a person worth loving, as opposed to actively disliking each other. If that makes any sense.

  9. Deathjavu
    Deathjavu
    March 30, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    So Faz is here because he was abandoned? Ugh, do we have to sympathize with him now?

    And somehow Marcie is just fine. I’m with Sal, this isn’t called responsible adult reactions of age!

    • Mad_Academic
      Mad_Academic
      March 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      I agree, but as a sometimes critic, I don’t think adults exist in this universe.

      • Minotaur
        Minotaur
        March 30, 2018 at 1:54 am | #

        “This universe” being the dumbiverse or the one you and I live in?

        • Tan
          Tan
          March 30, 2018 at 3:55 am | #

          Yes.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      March 30, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      Well, he first came here with Blaine, who chased after Amber, kidnapped her boyfriend and then got beat so badly he’s been hospitalised. And then Dina tied Faz up and gave him to Ruth. So it’s entirely possible he’s been hanging around the area the whole time since unless Ruth got ahold of Faz’s mom there’s nobody to come pick him up.

      • tangled_z
        tangled_z
        March 30, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

        What has he been eating!?

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          March 30, 2018 at 12:38 am | #

          Wendy’s?

          • bhtooefr
            bhtooefr
            March 30, 2018 at 7:58 am | #

            I wish this comment section had an upvote/star/like button.

        • Shade
          Shade
          March 30, 2018 at 12:53 am | #

          “This is a chart documenting the contents of local dumpsters.”

      • ANeM
        ANeM
        March 30, 2018 at 1:21 am | #

        Ruth, while being kind of shit at her job, is not the sort of person who wouldn’t properly deal with an unattended minor. She let a lot of shit slide, but she still tried to protect Carla. She takes issue with harm coming to vulnerable people.

        It is pretty likely he was abandoned though. In the comic for March 5th Amber mentions his mom isn’t answering her phone or returning calls. On February 12th Faz said “Father does not care what I do” when Amber specifically mentions how her dad would be pissed. She interpreted that as Faz talking about his biological father, but.. there is a good chance Faz knew exactly what Amber meant and responded accordingly.

        Faz isn’t great when it comes ot talking about emotions or his problems (or even acknowledging he has problems.) It kind of lines up that if abandoned he’d go to the only family he knows (Amber,) but not necessarily have the courage to explain why. Instead trying to distract himself with creeper shenanigans.

        • C.T Phipps
          C.T Phipps
          March 30, 2018 at 9:52 am | #

          Ruth has been suffering suicidal depression, a conspiracy to make her take up a job she is manifestly unqualified for, and has just dealt with both her first date ever as well as a stabbing of a rapist. I can understand why Faz would slip her mind.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            March 30, 2018 at 10:28 am | #

            Yeah, but she had to do something with him. Couldn’t just leave him in a corner wrapped up in AG’s grapple rope.

        • CJ
          CJ
          March 30, 2018 at 11:36 am | #

          The incident with the wrapped-up Faz was on parent’s day and we would have noticed if Ruth had kept him in her dorm room.

          Probably he’s on the list of not allowed people just like Blaine and would be escorted out by security if anyone involved anyone official.

          Considering her dismal state, Ruth must have all capabilities necessary to be a top RA, because she managed to get some parts of her job done nevertheless. And protecting the people in her care from dangers (other than herself) was always part of her ethos. She protected Amber from Blaine, and her first impulse was to protect Carla from Mary, even if she then refrained at first because of being blackmailed. But she cared.

  10. Mad_Academic
    Mad_Academic
    March 30, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    We’re either going to get some deep feels, or a cut away to someone else.

    • Mordecai
      Mordecai
      March 30, 2018 at 12:41 am | #

      I’m calling cutaway

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        March 30, 2018 at 1:06 am | #

        How about a cutaway to deep feels.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          March 30, 2018 at 1:18 am | #

          Or a deep cut that feels away?

          • Kazumi
            Kazumi
            March 30, 2018 at 1:43 am | #

            Gravitar checks out but also omg

  11. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    March 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Faz is great, and so is his capacity for unexpected emotional insight

  12. John Smith
    John Smith
    March 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Now all we need is Joe to make a hard left after he goes inside with a “Thanks for the excuse!” and we’ll have the full set of unexpected outcomes.

  13. CoffeeBurps
    CoffeeBurps
    March 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    DUmb question, is Marcie deaf or mute? For some reason I thought she was deaf but she replied to Sal without seeing that she was talking

    • John Smith
      John Smith
      March 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      Mute, a throat injury if I remember correctly.

      • Some1
        Some1
        March 30, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

        I’ll this time I’ve been assuming she saw Cthulhu and became so horrified she lost her ability to speak.

      • Ivy
        Ivy
        March 30, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

        How do you know a throat injury?

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          March 30, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

          We don’t. All we know is she’s physically incapable of speech.

          • John Smith
            John Smith
            March 30, 2018 at 12:55 am | #

            And used to be capable of speech. Throat injury seems reasonable to me, though fair enough if it hasn’t been explicitly stated.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              March 30, 2018 at 1:17 am | #

              My guess is either throat injury or possibly some sort of illness necessitating vocal cord removal.

              • vlademir1
                vlademir1
                March 30, 2018 at 5:52 am | #

                With Sal’s seeming sense of guilt about it I personally lean more into throat injury myself, though it could still just be a form of survivors’ remorse.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  March 30, 2018 at 4:17 pm | #

                  Sal definitely feels bad it happened, but I don’t know I’d say she feels guilty. I think if she felt guilty or responsible for it, she wouldn’t so easily just refer to it as ‘stuff happens’ in Marcie’s hearing.

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      March 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      In the backstory she had a voice, and in the years since the flashback she lost it.

      • Freemage
        Freemage
        March 30, 2018 at 10:57 am | #

        And Sal has expressed some degree of guilt over that, tho’ whether that’s ‘responsibility’ or ‘survivor’s guilt’ isn’t clear.

    • DinaWho
      DinaWho
      March 30, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      Mute. Beatrice from Billie’s new hall, on the other hand, is deaf (I believe).

      • Gojira
        Gojira
        March 30, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

        Why Marcie is mute is still a mystery. Maybe its her throat, maybe its old one induced madness, maybe she lost her tongue in a Christmas Story-style incident.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          March 30, 2018 at 2:05 am | #

          I thought soap poisoning caused blindness?

          • cbwroses
            cbwroses
            March 30, 2018 at 2:21 am | #

            She does wear those shades…

  14. Kris
    Kris
    March 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Shrug?!…Then what was the point of the last six months of bullshit?! Six months for us. I don’t know like a week for Marcie probably.

    • Huehuetotl
      Huehuetotl
      March 30, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

      Sometimes you miss your friends enough to just move on from whatever was angering you.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      March 30, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

      I believe the shrug is meant to mean she’s not upset about Malaya rather than no longer upset about Sal.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      March 30, 2018 at 12:46 am | #

      Well, she has a backup plan…

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        March 30, 2018 at 1:10 am | #

        That explains the smile

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          March 30, 2018 at 10:32 am | #

          Welp, back to masturbation for me!

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      March 30, 2018 at 2:09 am | #

      Maybe she’s open to a poly hookup with both Joe and Malaya.

      Maybe she’s fallen into a “fuck it nothing matters” mindset as a defensive mechanism against breaking down right there.

      We’ll see tomorrow, maybe!

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      March 30, 2018 at 3:23 am | #

      Maybe she is Not okay and is just pretending to be? Or is in shock?

    • brasca1
      brasca1
      March 30, 2018 at 11:10 am | #

      Six months for us, but about two or three weeks for them.

  15. AeromechanicalAce
    AeromechanicalAce
    March 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Was NOT expecting the moment of introspection to come from Faz.

    Also, Dammit Marcie.

    • joe archer
      joe archer
      March 30, 2018 at 5:34 am | #

      No, not introspection. Rather being annoyed at not being allowed to watch.

    • Shawn Levasseur
      Shawn Levasseur
      March 30, 2018 at 7:16 am | #

      More of a statement that carries a deep meaning beyond what the speaker intended. “Outrospection,” I guess?

  16. DinaWho
    DinaWho
    March 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Hmmm at Faz’s line… wonder if this indicates we’re going to find out more about why he’s here.

  17. @zombieundergrnd
    @zombieundergrnd
    March 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    I don’t believe Malaya had given any indication she was into girls, so Marcie had to have figured it was a longshot at best (and thus nothing to get worked up over here).

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      March 30, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

      That can be a fair one to have, but not the reaction I’d expect from most people. One might want “This girl is probably straight” (even though WE know that’s not the case) to equal, “Therefore, I won’t get my hopes up,” but that’s often not how it works.

      Maybe Marcie is still hoping things can work out, even if she’s adjusting what that might look like (or not). Maybe she is fine with it. It’s hard to say for sure at this point.

      • drs
        drs
        March 30, 2018 at 12:16 am | #

        Some people just cope well once they know something’s done. Having asked someone out and waiting for their response? Terrifyingly stressful and worrisome. Getting a clear rejection? That’s done, nothing you can do about it, time to move on.
        Struggling with classes? Terrifyingly stressful and worrisome. Accepting that no, you’re just failing this term? That’s over with, time to move on.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          March 30, 2018 at 7:57 am | #

          Few of them actually smile in the moment of rejection though. Unless they’re just pretending, of course.

  18. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    March 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    *someone steps out from behind Faz, who was actually talking about boners*

  19. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    March 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    Good that Marcie’s not jealous, particularly with a woman she’s not even dating, but I get why Sal’s baffled.

  20. Sionyx
    Sionyx
    March 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    Gawddammit, you’re NOT allowed to make me like Faz. That said, if Faz takes this opportunity to act like a little turd again, I will not be happy. Dislike the character, sure, but loathe the character, nope.

    • drs
      drs
      March 30, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

      You can dislike someone as a person while still sympathizing with their human pain. Faz is a terrible person to hang out with, but if he’s a kid who’s been abandoned by his parents, that sucks.

      Heck, given Blaine, *not* being abandoned by his parents sucks, though he’d be less likely to be going hungry.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        March 30, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

        Amber asked if Blaine knew he was here and Faz dodged the question.

        As if we needed more reason to loathe Blaine.

  21. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    March 30, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    *plays David Bowie’s “Boys Keep Swinging” on the hacked P.A. speakers*

    • Kazumi
      Kazumi
      March 30, 2018 at 1:40 am | #

      On Ukulele

  22. Terah
    Terah
    March 30, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    That alt text was my exact reaction

  23. Falling Star
    Falling Star
    March 30, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    who the fuck said this was okay

  24. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    March 30, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    WHAT !? -….. Ok, good one Marcie you surprised me with that unexpected reaction good on ya. 👏😂

  25. Stellar
    Stellar
    March 30, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    That was wonderful. Perfect capper strip.

  26. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    March 30, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    Marcie realizes she’s going to lose many more times than she wins

  27. Commodore Counterintuitive
    Commodore Counterintuitive
    March 30, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    Did Faz just

    go through an entire sentence without praising himself and/or hitting on someone?

    I think I need a moment.

  28. admiralnoob
    admiralnoob
    March 30, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    Plot twist: Faz’s line is implying that he was abandoned by his step-father, thus dooming him to a life of graphs and women. Wait, that actually sounds kinda dope.

    • Dg
      Dg
      March 30, 2018 at 1:26 am | #

      Someone has a strong future as a swinger and 538 commenter.

  29. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    March 30, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

    I’m so confused that I can’t process any of this. Did Marcie give up on Malaya or what? And what is Joyce thinking? And did Faz show actual human emotion? I didn’t think the last one was possible, whatever I’ve hit my limit for dealing with these people today.

  30. Thores
    Thores
    March 30, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    Knowing Faz, this is probably a transparent attempt to manipulate Joyce into sympathy sex.

    Giving him any amount of pity is likely a mistake.

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      March 30, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

      knowing faz, I think if that were the case he’d have said so immediately.

  31. BBCC
    BBCC
    March 30, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

    Well, I’m glad Marcie’s taking it well. Shrugs is probably the best case scenario.

    Honestly, I’ve never been quite sure how much Marcie actually LIKED Malaya. Every time it came up, it was about how hot Malaya was and how much Marcie wanted to bang her. If that’s all it was, it’d be easy enough to shrug it off. If she did like her for real, I thought she might be sad (but hopefully not a dick – I wasn’t super worried she would be but I’m one of those people who’s never quite sure until the rejection happens). So if this is just ‘shrugs’ I’m cool with that.

    …Unless she’s shrugging it off because she doesn’t want to admit she’s sad to Sal while she’s mad at her. I find it unlikely, given her expression, but I’m also hoping super hard that’s not the case because Marcie is adorable and I have no desire to see her sad.

    And how much do I love that the first thing Sal does is offer Marcie sympathy? So much. Dammit you two stop being cute.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      March 30, 2018 at 1:03 am | #

      They’re still my ship.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        March 30, 2018 at 1:16 am | #

        Who? Sal and Marcie? Or Sal or Malaya?

        Or would you care to join me in multi shipping hell?

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          March 30, 2018 at 1:16 am | #

          MARCIE and Malaya. Dammit. This is what happens when Sal is my favourite character – she gets into everything.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            March 30, 2018 at 1:18 am | #

            …Eh, still works with multi shipping hell.

            (Sorry about the triple post, Willis – lack of edit function to fix and or add stuff).

        • Pablo360
          Pablo360
          March 30, 2018 at 11:36 am | #

          Sal and Marcie. What can I say, I’m a sucker for the childhood friendship that becomes something more.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            March 30, 2018 at 11:59 pm | #

            I like them too.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      March 30, 2018 at 8:02 am | #

      Remember that everytime it came up, she was explaining it to Sal and “sex” would be easier to get Sal to accept than “No, really, I like her, even if you don’t and it makes you jealous” – cause that would be a really awkward conversation.

      At the very least, they seem to have mutual interests and like doing things together. As Carla said “I think Marcie likes doing shit.”

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        March 30, 2018 at 12:57 pm | #

        That is true, but Marcie did tell her she was working her way up to dating Malaya and Sal’s reaction was ‘Well that changes everything”.

  32. Yumi
    Yumi
    March 30, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

    Sending an email to someone who only knows me by my old name but who I would like to use my new name going forward and trying to figure out how to sign it while the whole name thing is not at all related to the point of the email, woooo~

    (This is just to express this stress a little, though if you have suggests, go for it. I mean, I’ll probably have hit send by the time anyone replies, but I may run into this again, so.)

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      March 30, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

      “btw, name change, I’m [Yumi] now”? 🙂

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        March 30, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

        Yeah, I’ve done that in the past. I just felt weird this time because I was emailing someone I’ve always interacted with in at least a semi-professional way, who I’ve barely interacted with in the past year, and who I’m asking for a favor.

        I just signed it [new name]/[old name] [last name].

        • Inahc
          Inahc
          March 30, 2018 at 12:48 am | #

          reminded me of this: https://xkcd.com/1915/
          …which just reminded me of a FB message from this afternoon I haven’t even *read* yet. >.<

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      March 30, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

      Separate paragraph about the new name and circumstances (if appropriate). Problem I have is people from before my change still use my old name. And no I’m not trans, I changed my name because I literally died. I’m still the same gender and sexuality I was born with, I just wrote a poem about a comic strip character doing a compare and contrast between us, and 21 years later people are still calling me by that name.

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        March 30, 2018 at 12:32 am | #

        wait what

        • Mordecai
          Mordecai
          March 30, 2018 at 12:47 am | #

          Probably referring to cardiac arrest.

          • StClair
            StClair
            March 30, 2018 at 1:01 am | #

            Modern medicine means there are a lot of formerly-dead people walking around.
            I almost typed “once-“, but for some, it’s been more than that.

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          March 30, 2018 at 4:35 pm | #

          Murdered with a pickup truck while riding my bicycle home from work, 8/31/2001. Last day the crime was still a misdemeanor, thus low on the priorities for investigation. 22 hours later it would have been a minor felony. I was minus pulse and respiration when paramedics got there, but when they tried to scrape me off the road I told them to be careful because I had broken the upper end of my femur, which startled the hell out of the people gathered to see what happened. Turns out getting hit at 60 MPH makes a hell of a noise as your body crushes the cab of the truck. He drove off and the truck was declared a total loss, I spent 2 weeks in hospital learning to use my leg again, and another 4 months learning to walk unassisted.

      • Some1
        Some1
        March 30, 2018 at 12:49 am | #

        This is a story that requires far more details then currently provided.

        • No Name
          No Name
          March 30, 2018 at 2:03 am | #

          If I remember correctly, he’s said some things about a bike accident? with a tractor-trailer I think?

          • Marsh Maryrose
            Marsh Maryrose
            March 30, 2018 at 12:02 pm | #

            Opus the Poet’s posts link to his blog, where you can read a graphic account of the surgeries required after he got hit by a pickup truck. Not for the medically squeamish.

    • ProjectXa3
      ProjectXa3
      March 30, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

      Maybe sign it really “Default”-ish with your new name, as if that’s just a standard thing you do for all your emails? Literally no experience on the matter, beyond mild non-literally-diagnosed-just-the-adjective anxiousness.

  33. Gojira
    Gojira
    March 30, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

    Marcie’s “shrug” also kinda looka likes like the sign gesture for ‘thank you’.

  34. Beef
    Beef
    March 30, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

    Faz is talking normal, will it stick? I feel a little bad for Marcie but I get annoyed when I see people going into any sort of relationship and not making their intentions clear so I’m glad she’s taking it well

  35. ProjectXa3
    ProjectXa3
    March 30, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

    Oh god, are we about to actually start humanizing Faz? I mean, okay, but it still feels weird.

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      March 30, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

      yup. I’m very curious now about his tragic backstory of neglect or whatever… so of course I’m not expecting we’ll actually get it for years 😛

      but hey, speaking of waiting for things, new SU episodes in just 11 days! OMG!

      • No Name
        No Name
        March 30, 2018 at 12:55 am | #

        oooh… Time to binge watch and obsess over every little detail of the last season to get my brain back in shape.

  36. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    March 30, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

    Oh also Joe probably gave up his last chance here.

  37. Some Random Name
    Some Random Name
    March 30, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

    I have feelings and I don’t know what they are.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      March 30, 2018 at 2:16 am | #

      Teenager-dom in a nutshell.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        March 30, 2018 at 2:24 am | #

        More like human-dom in a nutshell really.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        March 30, 2018 at 4:40 pm | #

        I just came from GGaR and I read that as the other kind of dom.

  38. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    March 30, 2018 at 12:35 am | #

    …. okay, so is JOYCE going to be the one to sit down and actually get a straight answer out of Faz about why he’s here?

    • joe archer
      joe archer
      March 30, 2018 at 5:37 am | #

      And where is her “Premarital Hanky-Panky” outburst?

  39. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    March 30, 2018 at 12:45 am | #

    -checks-

    Well, he’s not wearing the same hoodie back when he showed up the first time. But then, even if he was, we’ve seen other dudes more than willing to wear the same hoodie every day, all the time, so it wouldn’t prove anything.

  40. Goki
    Goki
    March 30, 2018 at 12:45 am | #

    Damn it Joe….

  41. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    March 30, 2018 at 12:47 am | #

    Marcie’s taking this pretty healthily. Another girl will come along, like a certain sophomore who works at the student paper?

  42. Keulen
    Keulen
    March 30, 2018 at 12:49 am | #

    Ok, I’m confused by two things in this strip. First that Marcie seems to not care about Malaya hooking up with Joe, and second that Faz is smiling while talking about being abandoned.

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      March 30, 2018 at 12:57 am | #

      the first was addressed pretty well near the top of the page, and the second, well, it’s faz – has he ever *not* been smiling? (also, faz-ness aside, it’s probably a coping mechanism, like how I tend to sound cheerful when talking about the incredibly painful ways my body tries to self-destruct.)

  43. Adam Black
    Adam Black
    March 30, 2018 at 12:50 am | #

    what is happening here ( with Joyce ) ?

  44. Roger
    Roger
    March 30, 2018 at 1:00 am | #

    i think faz being 14 does wonders in making me accept him being humanized. he’s still a turd but the fact that he doesn’t really have any actual capability, power, or weight in any of these scenes besides being creepy and annoying means my reaction to this was mild intrigue instead of the usually Bahs and Humbugs.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      March 30, 2018 at 1:09 am | #

      Isn’t he 15 here? Since he’s just a matter of weeks/months away from reaching Indiana’s age of consent by his own statement.

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        March 30, 2018 at 1:11 am | #

        EDIT: according to Willis on tumblr, Faz is 17 years old.

        • Inahc
          Inahc
          March 30, 2018 at 1:20 am | #

          he did say that – http://walkypedia.wikia.com/wiki/Faz#Dumbing_of_Age -, but according to a recent comment by Willis (that I’m still searching for) he’s 15 now. whoops? 🙂

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            March 30, 2018 at 1:23 am | #

            Yep, Word of God is not immutable and unchanging in Dumbing of Age.

          • Inahc
            Inahc
            March 30, 2018 at 1:34 am | #

            found it. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/03-faz-is-great/handle-2/#comment-1309754

    • stoodmuffin
      stoodmuffin
      March 30, 2018 at 4:04 am | #

      Shit, I missed that. I thought he was 17

  45. Bagge
    Bagge
    March 30, 2018 at 1:06 am | #

    FAZ IS CONTRIBUTING MEANINGFULLY TO THE SITUATION!!! WHAT IS EVEN WHAT???

    • Rowen Morland
      Rowen Morland
      March 30, 2018 at 1:24 am | #

      When Faz is placed in a den of lions, Faz must rise above.

  46. Tacos
    Tacos
    March 30, 2018 at 1:08 am | #

    I didn’t think Faz of all people would have some sort of emotional insight.

    • stoodmuffin
      stoodmuffin
      March 30, 2018 at 1:36 am | #

      It’s the most dick thing Willis has done lmao

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        March 30, 2018 at 7:46 am | #

        Well, he’s TRYING to make it the most dick thing he’s done. He didn’t succeed, but all things considered it was the best he could do.

  47. Toadby
    Toadby
    March 30, 2018 at 1:17 am | #

    Ughh I just want Joe and Joyce to talk about their feelingsssss

  48. stoodmuffin
    stoodmuffin
    March 30, 2018 at 1:35 am | #

    Willis you are a shit.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      March 30, 2018 at 4:45 pm | #

      Where do you think his twitter handle came from? @damnyouwillis

  49. Kazumi
    Kazumi
    March 30, 2018 at 1:38 am | #

    This encourages Faz to make the Song of Healing and eventually go on to collect creepy masks.

    • stoodmuffin
      stoodmuffin
      March 30, 2018 at 4:04 am | #

      I can see that happening

  50. PB
    PB
    March 30, 2018 at 2:11 am | #

    Ttttthhhhhhaaaaat was two bombshells. :O

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 30, 2018 at 2:31 am | #

      Yeah, that’s pretty much sums up Marcie’s thoughts throughout al this.

      SORRY!!!

      • PB
        PB
        March 31, 2018 at 8:13 pm | #

        Don’t apologize for making someone laugh when they needed it. 🙂

  51. Zellgato
    Zellgato
    March 30, 2018 at 2:27 am | #

    ………so..
    Marcie’s just like “can’t beat em. join em?”

    Sal..
    don’t go in your room for a while

  52. Eldritch Gentleman
    Eldritch Gentleman
    March 30, 2018 at 2:44 am | #

    Oh, are we finally getting a look behind that creepy smile and obsession with sex into Real Faz?

    • Remmington Steele
      Remmington Steele
      March 30, 2018 at 4:43 am | #

      Not sure if want.

  53. BenRG
    BenRG
    March 30, 2018 at 3:27 am | #

    This is the part when we learn to empathise with Faz, I think.

    Meanwhile, I think that Marcie has decided to adopt the very healthy mindset of ‘easy come, easy go’. Either that or this is the very unhealthy attitude of: “Ah, Malaya can do whatever she wants, I still love her and will come crawling back to her!”

    • Emily
      Emily
      March 30, 2018 at 5:32 am | #

      There’s also “it’s a meaningless hookup there’s no reason it should mean I have no chance and the only reason to get bent out of shape is jealousy.”

  54. SpaceshipPilot
    SpaceshipPilot
    March 30, 2018 at 3:49 am | #

    Is that grin just permanently attached to his face? Is he physically capable of changing his expression? Maybe Faz is some kind of android.

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      March 30, 2018 at 6:39 am | #

      Or an anteater.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        April 2, 2018 at 4:25 pm | #

        Or the Joker.

  55. CJ
    CJ
    March 30, 2018 at 3:51 am | #

    Are they going to walk in on Danny and Amber having a serious conversation (though Joe though he was opening space for them to have sex, I don’t think they are at it) or are they going to fuck in Sal’s room?
    Probably Sal’s room, because Malaya will want to rub in her perceived victory?

    • Zee
      Zee
      March 30, 2018 at 11:18 am | #

      Amber went to nap so probably the second thing

  56. Mr.Morningstar
    Mr.Morningstar
    March 30, 2018 at 3:58 am | #

    …Faz?

  57. Magic Jukebox V
    Magic Jukebox V
    March 30, 2018 at 4:24 am | #

    Wait… is that character development for Faz? For FAZ? :-O

  58. SillyGoose
    SillyGoose
    March 30, 2018 at 4:33 am | #

    Amazing drawing/storytelling.
    I like how you can *see* Joyce snapping out of her confusion when she hears someone else’s pain.
    In panel 3 she’s all “wait, does he *like* like me?” and in panel 4 she’s going full “someone’s hurting!”. Her eyes– and then she goes back to her non-shocked face but full of compassion. I guess she’s going to get us some answers as to Faz’s story.

    As for Marcy, I’m pretty sure she’s answering both meanings of “sorry”.
    – “Meh, so she’s not into me, big deal, it was just a crush and not love anyway”
    – “Well yeah what you did sucked but it was you being you and we’ve been sulking long enough, let’s make up cause this is stupid and I still love you dumbass.”

  59. Zaxares
    Zaxares
    March 30, 2018 at 5:04 am | #

    Wisdom? From the mouth of Faz?! This IS the Twilight Zone, isn’t it??

    • joe archer
      joe archer
      March 30, 2018 at 5:39 am | #

      Or Mike has learned to project his voice.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      March 30, 2018 at 7:57 am | #

      Or the next thing Faz says is, “Well, do not worry about being abandoned, for Faz shall console you with the most intuitively masterful of not-at-all inexperienced sexings.”

  60. Emily
    Emily
    March 30, 2018 at 5:28 am | #

    You’re not gonna get me to give a damn about Faz no matter how tragic you try to make him.

  61. chris73
    chris73
    March 30, 2018 at 5:59 am | #

    Whats up with Joyce and her eyes in panels three and four?

    • JepMZ
      JepMZ
      March 30, 2018 at 6:48 am | #

      I learned this back when I played Monster Rancher 2. It’s an anime thing where they shrink their irises to empasize the widening of their eyes to display a shocked facial expression instead of bulging their eyeballs out ‘ll, and then it shifts back to her on -model regular iris size

  62. ajm5007
    ajm5007
    March 30, 2018 at 9:45 am | #

    Are- are you trying to make us empathize with Faz?

    DAMN YOU, WILLIS!

    • Mitsukara
      Mitsukara
      March 30, 2018 at 9:50 am | #

      My statistics gathered from a sample size of only myself indicate that there is a nonzero number of people, possibly 100% according to this surely unbiased sample size, who already empathized with Faz. Especially that one scene at the funeral in Shortpacked.

      In all seriousness, despite being deeply flawed, Faz actually is a certain limited sort of great. I’m also not joking when I say he and Wen were kinda cute together in an incredibly awkward way.

  63. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    March 30, 2018 at 9:54 am | #

    My view is that Marcie fully intends to continue pining after Malaya and trying to win her over. Wanting is better than having in many cases after all.

  64. Dex
    Dex
    March 30, 2018 at 9:54 am | #

    Oh jeez, I only just realized that implication. Maybe Faz is only here because Faz doesn’t have anyplace else to go.

    How DARE you make me feel even a momentary empathy for Faz! I demand to see your manager.

  65. hof1991
    hof1991
    March 30, 2018 at 10:02 am | #

    Marcie is rather used to disappointment. Malaya was never hers to lose. Some things you just walk away from. Pick battles you have a chance to win. Once you have it ground into you that life isn’t fair, you can shrug and walk away from disappointments.

  66. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    March 30, 2018 at 10:40 am | #

    I love that Marcie’s like, “My crush is headed off to bone some guy… oh well!”

    And Sal is like, “Wait, I almost destroyed our friendship over a crush you let go of in 5 SECONDS??? DOUBLE-YOU-TEE-FUUUUCKK!?!?”

    • Bunivasal
      Bunivasal
      March 30, 2018 at 4:36 pm | #

      “They’re gonna fuck someone else, oh well” is not exactly letting go of a crush. I’ve had plenty of crushes on folks that had sex with other people.

  67. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    March 30, 2018 at 11:02 am | #

    Marcie is now going to join in a threesome with Joe and Malaya–leaving him completely confused and wondering why God is playing with him.

  68. Brian K. Pittman
    Brian K. Pittman
    March 30, 2018 at 11:32 am | #

    This cements my theory that Faz is only capable of one facial expression.

  69. Nenja
    Nenja
    March 30, 2018 at 12:32 pm | #

    Will we finally know why Faz is here at the campus?

  70. nightshade
    nightshade
    March 30, 2018 at 12:45 pm | #

    3 things might happen

    1 joe is gonna show a bit of maturity and say thanks for saving me .. bye now ….. and 1a at some point realize he really likes joyce

    2 marcies going to think this is gonna down in flames and shell be there to console mayala

  71. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    March 30, 2018 at 1:02 pm | #

    Marcie can shrug off abandonment. Joyce can’t.

  72. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    March 30, 2018 at 2:31 pm | #

    You know, I feel pretty certain that when Sal says “Ah’m sorry”, she’s not just indicating what happened right now. She’s probably also trying to start apologising for the rift that’s currently between them.

    And even if that was not part of her intentions, then at least she got a response from Marcie. It seems possible Marcie might speak to her again soon. It seems like they might work it out in the end here.

  73. Pylgrim
    Pylgrim
    March 30, 2018 at 5:09 pm | #

    Is Joyce’s face from panel 2-3 going from “Joe likes me” to “I-I like that he likes me?”?

  74. Tenn
    Tenn
    March 30, 2018 at 6:23 pm | #

    NO

  75. burntnorris
    burntnorris
    March 30, 2018 at 11:00 pm | #

    God DAMMIT, Joe.

  76. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    April 2, 2018 at 1:32 am | #

    Honestly I think it might be better for Marcie to just let this one go.

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#relatable
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The problems with this prosecution are legion, but most immediately, the
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