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How should we fuck off, oh Lord?
NSFW, Language: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hloWmE_3d2I
thank you, I’m now watching half of life of brian in youtube clips… definitely what I needed to be doing at midnight
Because it’s written, that’s why!
There’s no bad time for Monty Python.
Nobody expects the mid of night Monty(Python)!
Because they are the source of today’s worst idea ever.
…. oh, wait, that’s a reference isn’t it.
I saw the whole thing at the movies only a couple of weeks ago (it’s been 40 years since it was first screened!) and it still mostly holds up – Stan being mocked for wanting to be called Loretta is a bit on the nose these days, but the rest is as brilliant as ever!
Something that’s needed be said to Malaya in every iteration.
I love Malaya, but you are not wrong.
Starcraft 2 trailer Marine right now
Wait, Sal has basically two angels on her shoulders here. Is that allowed?
Gay and straight instead of good and evil?
Depending on who you ask, those are the same thing.
Both are horny even with different sexual orientations. Sal would have to fight these annoying personas/stands/imaginary friends/moral guides.
I think the world would be a better place, if people had a “Gay Conscience”, and a, “Straight Conscience”.
Malaya has not stopped being a percussion instrument despite Sal being neutral to her.
I’m surprised she hasn’t been slugged in the face yet.
And I think I replied to you instead of making a new thread so I’ll just shut up now.
Percussion Intrument?
Drum? Piano?
Bingo. (Glad to be helpful).
Bongo. Damn you, spell correct!
I have Starscream and Handsome Jack, so I guess everyone’s a little different.
Becky totes want to be the shoulder devil!
Malaya: “Fine, jeez, nevermi-”
Sal: “I don’t have to do what you say!”
Malaya: “…Okay?”
Sal: “Besides, it’s too gruesome! And I’d be the number one suspect!”
Malaya: “Um…”
Sal: “Where would I even find a can-opener that big anyway?!”
Malaya: (frantically dialing 911)
**incoherent fucking laughter for – I dunno, I’m still laughing as I type this**
For some reason I heard that last line from Sal in Ron Paulson’s voice…
When internal voices say things that DON’T make you sound crazy when you answer them out loud.
…I feel like this storyline might end with Sal genuinely seducing Marcie just to spite Malaya and I’m not sure if that’s the best outcome or a not-so-best outcome.
Or they get into a big argument over who can seduce Marcie first.
Smash cut to Sal and Malaya doing the whole simultaneous “wake up in bed, look at who’s next to you, turn to camera 1 and scream” bit.
Will we need the “love interpreter/intermediary” plot complication, a la Cyrano De Bergerac or Secret Admirer?
Sal: “Any girl you can do, I can do better; any girl you can do, better than you.”
Malaya: “No, you can’t.”
Sal: “Yes, I can.”
[camera pans out for a major dance scene on campus]
One person in the background to another: “You would never suspect everyone in this university is a professional dancer.”
She has already started, though. This is her idea of seducing.
‘Dr Malaya. Again we see that there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away.’
No, Ms. Walmerton, I expect you to cry.
I’m honestly convinced malaya gets turned on by negativity and violence, like it’s her way of flirting. I may be horribly wrong , but tell that to the fanfic growing in my head
Finally Malaya is told what she needs to hear and it is like music to my ears.
What? No! She would view it as validation. Everything we’ve seen about Malaya is self-centeredness and projection. As near as i can tell, she views everything and everyone as being in a competition for coolness – a contest that she can see through because she’s “so cool that she doesn’t care what anyone thinks.”
The idea that anyone (let alone ‘practically everyone’) might not view the world the same way she does could very well blow her mind. THAT is the bit of personal growth she lacks.
However, by Sal telling her to fuck off after Malaya’s insulting her appearance – she’s feeding into the game that Malaya is “too cool to play” but plays anyway and has handed her a victory. After all, haven’t you played ‘the insult game’ with your ‘enemies’ as a kid? As the clever insults get parried back and forth, the ultimate loser loses because they can’t think up a clever retort and just splutters something. Which is what i think Malaya would think here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Rsq8xYYCDU&t=226s
Don’t care, the correct answer to Malaya here is “Fuck off” and then to literally ignore or brush off everything she says after this point.
“I’m just saying-”
“Nope, fuck you, and fuck off.”
She’s skipped straight to passive aggressive insults, and at that point, my opinion of a winning move is the aggressive grey rock.
The correct answer to Malaya is always “Fuck off,” under any and all circumstances.
*plays Rick Dees’ “Eat My Shorts” on the hacked Muzak*
And today’s strip is brought to you by Jenny Craig, whose food evidently tastes like shorts. (Based on peer review, not personal experience.)
Jenny Craig – it’s easier than portioning out real food.
[/Don Pardo impression]
And waaaaaaay more expensive.
Heh…Rick Dees…
Joyce is obviously the shoulder angel.
Becky is just as obviously the shoulder devil.
And they are both in complete agreement that this situation is best addressed by a shitty sitcom plot.
Shoulder Joyce: This will work and it’ll make your friend happy.
Shoulder Becky: This will work and it’ll be hilarious.
EXACTLY like that.
And now I’m imagining this scene
Shoulder Becky: Look what I can do!
And does some cool break-dance moves
Sal: I don’t know what this have to…
Shoulder Joyce: no, no, she makes a good point.
Emperor’s New Groove is an enduring classic.
And as far as I’m concerned Kronk was the best.
I think Malaya is cute af, aesthetically speaking, but like… she *reeeeeeeally* needed to hear this.
Her personality ruins it.
Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses, been out ridin-
“FUCK OFF”
the gayngels on her shoulders
Should they be padded shoulders?
(I know nothing from fashion.)
About damn time. Bodyshaming is too far even for Malaya’s normal levels of shitty.
agreed
She’s also talking to the literally undefeated champion of the “Annual DOA hottest lady” poll, so this particular insult is a bit misplaced.
It took me a moment to realize what “DOA” meant in this context. For a moment I was thinking…ew.
Hahahaha. That’s one crossover that might actually be left un-crossed.
She’s gone after Sal’s personality, gaslit her objections to a bright light shone in her eyes into animal cruelty… this sounds like Malaya-par for the Malaya-course.
I don’t dislike it, but Malaya’s hair looks like Ethan’s
She has Hanna Barbera hair.
She looks like the male Octoling with the Afro from Splatoon 2 to me.
I love it.
I love the faux-innocent grins. Sal absolutely imagines Joyce&Becky spot on!
Well, that puts paid to any speculation about Malaya questioning her gender, at least insofar as she seems to think being curvy protects you from being taken for a boy if you have short hair.
Who knows, this might actually by DoA’s first not-a-sign-of-queerness haircut after all. (Unless I’m missing one, so far the haircuts we’ve seen have been Ethan’s, which was tied into his striving to be straight and failing miserably, Becky’s [say no more], and Ruth’s, which while it may have mostly been an assertion of some level of control after being raked over the coal by Gramps is nevertheless a bi cut.)
Well, Willis did write on twitter that he did it so he could more easily draw Malaya from different angles … but there could be more than one reason!
Honestly, that’s how I read that “questioning” scene in the first place.
Yeah no I’m with Sal here. Seriously Malaya.
Sal has to deal with an imaginary lesbian and an imaginary atheist? in her mind now. Also, if it a good idea to try to set up Marcie with Malaya? I mean, both seem to be only interested in casual sex than in serious relationships.
Also, for Malaya, fuck up you narcisist!
Well, if they’re both only interested in casual sex, there’s no problem right? Especially from Sal’s point of view. Marcie and Malaya can hook up, Marcie can get it out of her system and then she’ll stop hanging out with Malaya.
It’s only when one wants casual and the other wants serious that there’s drama.
I’m pretty sure imaginary Joyce has a ways to go before she can really be considered an imaginary atheist.
(Also, if you’re an imaginary atheist, would God being imaginary mean he’s real to you?)
A totally appropriate response to nearly anything Marcie says.
Malaya….
…. okay, is it wrong that the logical part of me is responding to that mistake by trying to parse out how any universal statement about an empty set is automatically true? Because it’s absolutely right, but it still feels wrong.
Poor Sal! Now she’s having Joyce and Becky’s voices as both the devil and the angel on her shoulder! Meanwhile, she’s also having to fight to remember that this isn’t a cheap teen romcom and certain things she’ll never do.
Even if the body is hot, the mind is repellent.
oh please explode Sal, Malaya’s had it coming.
Unfortunately Malaya only grows stronger from explosions.
About time someone says that to Malaya.
Oh, Sal, honey, you should know Joyce and Becky don’t give up that easy.
Even if they are just voices in your head.
Even worse. They’re entrenched now. You will NEVER get them out.
There are always more sticks!
There’s. Always. More. Sticks.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/complain/
I hear voices in my head
They’re hovering above my bed
They talk to me!
They give me shitty sit-com plot
But one is cute, the other’s hot
They talk to me!
I love it
The only way i see this impacting Malaya at all is if everyone starts saying it to her all the time.
Actually, I think that she’d treat that as some kind of twisted validation.
Sal needs to give Malaya the treatment Joyce gives Mike.
“He–”
“Fuck off.”
“I ju–”
“Fuck off.” *walks away*
Seriously it feels like the only way to deal with Malaya is to ignore her and act like she doesn’t exist…
Malaya definitely had that one prepared before she even came in. She strikes me as the type of person who argues with a snowman of you in her head on the way home and then projects that onto the real you, so she can totally own you just like she did in her head.
“Snowman”
Okay, so I guess putting “strawman” into my phone’s dictionary was pointless. Fuck it, I’ll just say “snowman” from now on.
Actually I think Snowman works very well, and gets the point across. If you hadn’t said anything I’d have thought it a clever analogy rather then a mistake.
#Reltzik: She meant to type Strawman but the phone auto-corrected to Snowman.
And I was taking it one “autocorrect” further as a joke?
In other news, I JUST THIS MOMENT realized that Autocorrect has given new meaning to the phrase “telephone game”.
I love it.
Snowmen are cold, but apply enough heat and they just melt.
It depends on your latitude; in Kansas they’d say “that’s a strawman argument” but upstate NY it’d be snowman.
Nah, she’s just way to good at quick adaptation to have rehearsed against a straw-man like that.
So what’s this about Snowden?
…let’s go back to that “if,” with a side order of “whyyyyy?!”
I”m wondering if, within a few strips, Malaya is going to say to Sal something like: “Are you a crazy person?”
Upon which the answer should still be “fuck off.”
Because knowing Dave this is gonn take those few strips and Sal won’t just leave.
Oh boy.
Dang it, Sal, you got adorkable love-obsessed doofuses stuck in your head? Do you know how hard those are to get rid of?? Sheesh, they’re gonna be there forever.
and ever and ever
*Munches Popcorn* This is going to be good!
Ugh, Malaya thinking she’s hot shit just because her sclera are normally visible.
This might look crude, but this is sometimes necessary. If people are going to be living as close as these two are, in a college setting, boundaries, and parameters need to be set. And when they are crossed, you need to tell that person. Sometimes, strong language is needed to properly convey that.
Oh My God why is Malaya so rude?!
Because she’s an attention-hungry bongo. I predict she’s slowly realizing the people on her new floor don’t give a shit about her like the old dorm.
I would actually say not needing other peoples validation is Malaya’s defining characteristic.
It’s more like she needs Negative validation. She craves attention but wants to appear like this cool “Don’t care about your opinion” kind of person. Might be why she got all up into Sal’s business about being a “poser”, she is projecting.
Claiming to not need other people’s validation is her defining characteristic.
Then she went and fucked Joe to show Sal she could get a better rating.
“What makes Iago evil? some people ask. I never ask.” -Joan Didion
I have feelings, you know.
/joking ofc ;>
Then maybe joining the dramatis personae of a Shakespeare tragedy was not the wisest move.
He helped out Jafar. There was a whole movie about it. With a redemption and everything.