Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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technically they're just not saying, because they're imaginary, but
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June 1, 2026

Saying

by David M Willis on May 3, 2019 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Sometimes the Sky Was So Far Away
└ Tags: becky, joyce, malaya, sal

Discussion (118) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    May 3, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    How should we fuck off, oh Lord?

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 3, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

      NSFW, Language: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hloWmE_3d2I

      • DinaJoyce
        DinaJoyce
        May 3, 2019 at 1:06 am | #

        thank you, I’m now watching half of life of brian in youtube clips… definitely what I needed to be doing at midnight 😛

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          May 3, 2019 at 1:37 am | #

          Because it’s written, that’s why!

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          May 3, 2019 at 1:40 am | #

          There’s no bad time for Monty Python.

          • Felix
            Felix
            May 3, 2019 at 11:04 am | #

            Nobody expects the mid of night Monty(Python)!

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      May 3, 2019 at 2:43 am | #

      Because they are the source of today’s worst idea ever.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        May 3, 2019 at 3:16 am | #

        …. oh, wait, that’s a reference isn’t it.

    • maarvarq
      maarvarq
      May 3, 2019 at 6:22 am | #

      I saw the whole thing at the movies only a couple of weeks ago (it’s been 40 years since it was first screened!) and it still mostly holds up – Stan being mocked for wanting to be called Loretta is a bit on the nose these days, but the rest is as brilliant as ever!

  2. Spruce Goose
    Spruce Goose
    May 3, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    Something that’s needed be said to Malaya in every iteration.

    • Nep
      Nep
      May 3, 2019 at 7:01 am | #

      I love Malaya, but you are not wrong.

    • foamy
      foamy
      May 3, 2019 at 4:22 pm | #

      Starcraft 2 trailer Marine right now

  3. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    May 3, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    Wait, Sal has basically two angels on her shoulders here. Is that allowed?

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 3, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

      Gay and straight instead of good and evil?

      • ProfessorDetective
        ProfessorDetective
        May 3, 2019 at 12:08 am | #

        Depending on who you ask, those are the same thing.

        • abysswatcher1993
          abysswatcher1993
          May 3, 2019 at 1:23 am | #

          Both are horny even with different sexual orientations. Sal would have to fight these annoying personas/stands/imaginary friends/moral guides.

      • ziggy78eog
        ziggy78eog
        May 3, 2019 at 12:01 pm | #

        I think the world would be a better place, if people had a “Gay Conscience”, and a, “Straight Conscience”.

    • Foxhack
      Foxhack
      May 3, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

      Malaya has not stopped being a percussion instrument despite Sal being neutral to her.

      I’m surprised she hasn’t been slugged in the face yet.

      • Foxhack
        Foxhack
        May 3, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

        And I think I replied to you instead of making a new thread so I’ll just shut up now.

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        May 3, 2019 at 4:07 pm | #

        Percussion Intrument?

        Drum? Piano?

        • clif
          clif
          May 3, 2019 at 11:58 pm | #

          Bingo. (Glad to be helpful).

          • clif
            clif
            May 4, 2019 at 12:00 am | #

            Bongo. Damn you, spell correct!

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 3, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

      I have Starscream and Handsome Jack, so I guess everyone’s a little different.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 3, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

      Becky totes want to be the shoulder devil!

  4. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    May 3, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Malaya: “Fine, jeez, nevermi-”

    Sal: “I don’t have to do what you say!”

    Malaya: “…Okay?”

    Sal: “Besides, it’s too gruesome! And I’d be the number one suspect!”

    Malaya: “Um…”

    Sal: “Where would I even find a can-opener that big anyway?!”

    Malaya: (frantically dialing 911)

    • LeslieBean4shizzle
      LeslieBean4shizzle
      May 3, 2019 at 12:19 am | #

      **incoherent fucking laughter for – I dunno, I’m still laughing as I type this**

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      May 3, 2019 at 7:57 am | #

      For some reason I heard that last line from Sal in Ron Paulson’s voice…

  5. Batz
    Batz
    May 3, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    When internal voices say things that DON’T make you sound crazy when you answer them out loud.

  6. Lacuna
    Lacuna
    May 3, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    …I feel like this storyline might end with Sal genuinely seducing Marcie just to spite Malaya and I’m not sure if that’s the best outcome or a not-so-best outcome.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 3, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

      Or they get into a big argument over who can seduce Marcie first.

      Smash cut to Sal and Malaya doing the whole simultaneous “wake up in bed, look at who’s next to you, turn to camera 1 and scream” bit.

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        May 3, 2019 at 12:16 am | #

        Will we need the “love interpreter/intermediary” plot complication, a la Cyrano De Bergerac or Secret Admirer?

      • Cholma
        Cholma
        May 3, 2019 at 2:03 am | #

        Sal: “Any girl you can do, I can do better; any girl you can do, better than you.”
        Malaya: “No, you can’t.”
        Sal: “Yes, I can.”
        [camera pans out for a major dance scene on campus]

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          May 3, 2019 at 3:02 pm | #

          One person in the background to another: “You would never suspect everyone in this university is a professional dancer.”

    • erejnion
      erejnion
      May 3, 2019 at 4:11 am | #

      She has already started, though. This is her idea of seducing.

    • Dean
      Dean
      May 3, 2019 at 10:07 am | #

      ‘Dr Malaya. Again we see that there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away.’

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        May 3, 2019 at 1:02 pm | #

        No, Ms. Walmerton, I expect you to cry.

    • Jaxx Sentinel
      Jaxx Sentinel
      May 4, 2019 at 4:11 am | #

      I’m honestly convinced malaya gets turned on by negativity and violence, like it’s her way of flirting. I may be horribly wrong , but tell that to the fanfic growing in my head

  7. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    May 3, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    Finally Malaya is told what she needs to hear and it is like music to my ears.

    • jmsr7
      jmsr7
      May 3, 2019 at 2:49 am | #

      What? No! She would view it as validation. Everything we’ve seen about Malaya is self-centeredness and projection. As near as i can tell, she views everything and everyone as being in a competition for coolness – a contest that she can see through because she’s “so cool that she doesn’t care what anyone thinks.”

      The idea that anyone (let alone ‘practically everyone’) might not view the world the same way she does could very well blow her mind. THAT is the bit of personal growth she lacks.

      However, by Sal telling her to fuck off after Malaya’s insulting her appearance – she’s feeding into the game that Malaya is “too cool to play” but plays anyway and has handed her a victory. After all, haven’t you played ‘the insult game’ with your ‘enemies’ as a kid? As the clever insults get parried back and forth, the ultimate loser loses because they can’t think up a clever retort and just splutters something. Which is what i think Malaya would think here.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Rsq8xYYCDU&t=226s

      • Lexi
        Lexi
        May 3, 2019 at 3:18 am | #

        Don’t care, the correct answer to Malaya here is “Fuck off” and then to literally ignore or brush off everything she says after this point.

        “I’m just saying-”
        “Nope, fuck you, and fuck off.”

        She’s skipped straight to passive aggressive insults, and at that point, my opinion of a winning move is the aggressive grey rock.

        • Marsh Maryrose
          Marsh Maryrose
          May 3, 2019 at 10:03 am | #

          The correct answer to Malaya is always “Fuck off,” under any and all circumstances.

  8. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    May 3, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    *plays Rick Dees’ “Eat My Shorts” on the hacked Muzak*

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      May 3, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

      And today’s strip is brought to you by Jenny Craig, whose food evidently tastes like shorts. (Based on peer review, not personal experience.)

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        May 3, 2019 at 1:59 am | #

        Jenny Craig – it’s easier than portioning out real food.

        [/Don Pardo impression]

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          May 3, 2019 at 3:04 pm | #

          And waaaaaaay more expensive.

    • Josh Spicer
      Josh Spicer
      May 3, 2019 at 1:03 am | #

      Heh…Rick Dees…

  9. Bagge
    Bagge
    May 3, 2019 at 12:08 am | #

    Joyce is obviously the shoulder angel.

    Becky is just as obviously the shoulder devil.

    And they are both in complete agreement that this situation is best addressed by a shitty sitcom plot.

    • Ferret
      Ferret
      May 3, 2019 at 3:33 am | #

      Shoulder Joyce: This will work and it’ll make your friend happy.

      Shoulder Becky: This will work and it’ll be hilarious.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        May 3, 2019 at 7:13 am | #

        EXACTLY like that.

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      May 3, 2019 at 5:38 am | #

      And now I’m imagining this scene
      Shoulder Becky: Look what I can do!
      And does some cool break-dance moves
      Sal: I don’t know what this have to…
      Shoulder Joyce: no, no, she makes a good point.

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        May 3, 2019 at 11:42 am | #

        Emperor’s New Groove is an enduring classic.

        • Eldritch Gentleman
          Eldritch Gentleman
          May 3, 2019 at 1:20 pm | #

          And as far as I’m concerned Kronk was the best.

  10. ian livs
    ian livs
    May 3, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

    I think Malaya is cute af, aesthetically speaking, but like… she *reeeeeeeally* needed to hear this.

    • FacelessDeviant
      FacelessDeviant
      May 3, 2019 at 12:15 am | #

      Her personality ruins it.

  11. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    May 3, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

    Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses, been out ridin-

    “FUCK OFF”

  12. butts
    butts
    May 3, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

    the gayngels on her shoulders

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 3, 2019 at 12:18 am | #

      Should they be padded shoulders?

      (I know nothing from fashion.)

  13. Badgermole
    Badgermole
    May 3, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

    About damn time. Bodyshaming is too far even for Malaya’s normal levels of shitty.

    • brute
      brute
      May 3, 2019 at 1:11 am | #

      agreed

    • Mordecai
      Mordecai
      May 3, 2019 at 1:52 am | #

      She’s also talking to the literally undefeated champion of the “Annual DOA hottest lady” poll, so this particular insult is a bit misplaced.

      • Byron Orpheus
        Byron Orpheus
        May 3, 2019 at 1:10 pm | #

        It took me a moment to realize what “DOA” meant in this context. For a moment I was thinking…ew.

        • Mordecai
          Mordecai
          May 5, 2019 at 4:01 am | #

          Hahahaha. That’s one crossover that might actually be left un-crossed.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      May 3, 2019 at 6:16 am | #

      She’s gone after Sal’s personality, gaslit her objections to a bright light shone in her eyes into animal cruelty… this sounds like Malaya-par for the Malaya-course.

  14. Catman
    Catman
    May 3, 2019 at 12:21 am | #

    I don’t dislike it, but Malaya’s hair looks like Ethan’s

    • Foxhack
      Foxhack
      May 3, 2019 at 12:23 am | #

      She has Hanna Barbera hair.

    • Aneterio
      Aneterio
      May 3, 2019 at 12:34 am | #

      She looks like the male Octoling with the Afro from Splatoon 2 to me.

      I love it.

  15. Bagge
    Bagge
    May 3, 2019 at 12:22 am | #

    I love the faux-innocent grins. Sal absolutely imagines Joyce&Becky spot on!

  16. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    May 3, 2019 at 12:40 am | #

    Well, that puts paid to any speculation about Malaya questioning her gender, at least insofar as she seems to think being curvy protects you from being taken for a boy if you have short hair.

    Who knows, this might actually by DoA’s first not-a-sign-of-queerness haircut after all. (Unless I’m missing one, so far the haircuts we’ve seen have been Ethan’s, which was tied into his striving to be straight and failing miserably, Becky’s [say no more], and Ruth’s, which while it may have mostly been an assertion of some level of control after being raked over the coal by Gramps is nevertheless a bi cut.)

    • Lingo
      Lingo
      May 3, 2019 at 1:49 am | #

      Well, Willis did write on twitter that he did it so he could more easily draw Malaya from different angles … but there could be more than one reason!

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      May 3, 2019 at 6:30 am | #

      Honestly, that’s how I read that “questioning” scene in the first place.

  17. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    May 3, 2019 at 1:02 am | #

    Yeah no I’m with Sal here. Seriously Malaya.

  18. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    May 3, 2019 at 1:19 am | #

    Sal has to deal with an imaginary lesbian and an imaginary atheist? in her mind now. Also, if it a good idea to try to set up Marcie with Malaya? I mean, both seem to be only interested in casual sex than in serious relationships.

    Also, for Malaya, fuck up you narcisist!

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      May 3, 2019 at 6:25 am | #

      Well, if they’re both only interested in casual sex, there’s no problem right? Especially from Sal’s point of view. Marcie and Malaya can hook up, Marcie can get it out of her system and then she’ll stop hanging out with Malaya.

      It’s only when one wants casual and the other wants serious that there’s drama.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      May 3, 2019 at 10:46 am | #

      I’m pretty sure imaginary Joyce has a ways to go before she can really be considered an imaginary atheist.

      (Also, if you’re an imaginary atheist, would God being imaginary mean he’s real to you?)

  19. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    May 3, 2019 at 1:42 am | #

    A totally appropriate response to nearly anything Marcie says.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      May 3, 2019 at 1:43 am | #

      Malaya….

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      May 3, 2019 at 6:18 am | #

      …. okay, is it wrong that the logical part of me is responding to that mistake by trying to parse out how any universal statement about an empty set is automatically true? Because it’s absolutely right, but it still feels wrong.

  20. BenRG
    BenRG
    May 3, 2019 at 2:05 am | #

    Poor Sal! Now she’s having Joyce and Becky’s voices as both the devil and the angel on her shoulder! Meanwhile, she’s also having to fight to remember that this isn’t a cheap teen romcom and certain things she’ll never do.

    Even if the body is hot, the mind is repellent.

  21. KSClaw
    KSClaw
    May 3, 2019 at 2:21 am | #

    oh please explode Sal, Malaya’s had it coming.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      May 3, 2019 at 6:22 am | #

      Unfortunately Malaya only grows stronger from explosions.

  22. Keulen
    Keulen
    May 3, 2019 at 2:24 am | #

    About time someone says that to Malaya.

  23. BBCC
    BBCC
    May 3, 2019 at 2:37 am | #

    Oh, Sal, honey, you should know Joyce and Becky don’t give up that easy.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      May 3, 2019 at 4:22 am | #

      Even if they are just voices in your head.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        May 3, 2019 at 4:40 am | #

        Even worse. They’re entrenched now. You will NEVER get them out.

        • Chris Phoenix
          Chris Phoenix
          May 3, 2019 at 4:50 am | #

          There are always more sticks!

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            May 3, 2019 at 6:45 am | #

            There’s. Always. More. Sticks.

            http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/complain/

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          May 3, 2019 at 9:22 am | #

          I hear voices in my head
          They’re hovering above my bed
          They talk to me!

          They give me shitty sit-com plot
          But one is cute, the other’s hot
          They talk to me!

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            May 3, 2019 at 9:47 am | #

            I love it 🙂

  24. jmsr7
    jmsr7
    May 3, 2019 at 2:53 am | #

    The only way i see this impacting Malaya at all is if everyone starts saying it to her all the time.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      May 3, 2019 at 5:21 am | #

      Actually, I think that she’d treat that as some kind of twisted validation.

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        May 3, 2019 at 11:44 am | #

        Sal needs to give Malaya the treatment Joyce gives Mike.

        “He–”
        “Fuck off.”
        “I ju–”
        “Fuck off.” *walks away*

  25. Eldritch Gentleman
    Eldritch Gentleman
    May 3, 2019 at 5:35 am | #

    Seriously it feels like the only way to deal with Malaya is to ignore her and act like she doesn’t exist…

  26. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    May 3, 2019 at 5:37 am | #

    Malaya definitely had that one prepared before she even came in. She strikes me as the type of person who argues with a snowman of you in her head on the way home and then projects that onto the real you, so she can totally own you just like she did in her head.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      May 3, 2019 at 6:01 am | #

      “Snowman”
      Okay, so I guess putting “strawman” into my phone’s dictionary was pointless. Fuck it, I’ll just say “snowman” from now on.

      • Vukodlak
        Vukodlak
        May 3, 2019 at 6:30 am | #

        Actually I think Snowman works very well, and gets the point across. If you hadn’t said anything I’d have thought it a clever analogy rather then a mistake.
        #Reltzik: She meant to type Strawman but the phone auto-corrected to Snowman.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          May 3, 2019 at 5:34 pm | #

          And I was taking it one “autocorrect” further as a joke?

          In other news, I JUST THIS MOMENT realized that Autocorrect has given new meaning to the phrase “telephone game”.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          May 3, 2019 at 11:43 pm | #

          I love it.

          Snowmen are cold, but apply enough heat and they just melt.

      • Vulcanodon
        Vulcanodon
        May 3, 2019 at 7:49 am | #

        It depends on your latitude; in Kansas they’d say “that’s a strawman argument” but upstate NY it’d be snowman.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      May 3, 2019 at 6:24 am | #

      Nah, she’s just way to good at quick adaptation to have rehearsed against a straw-man like that.

      So what’s this about Snowden?

  27. Raen
    Raen
    May 3, 2019 at 5:37 am | #

    …let’s go back to that “if,” with a side order of “whyyyyy?!”

  28. BenRG
    BenRG
    May 3, 2019 at 8:27 am | #

    I”m wondering if, within a few strips, Malaya is going to say to Sal something like: “Are you a crazy person?”

    • Josh Spicer
      Josh Spicer
      May 3, 2019 at 10:38 pm | #

      Upon which the answer should still be “fuck off.”

      Because knowing Dave this is gonn take those few strips and Sal won’t just leave.

  29. Pickacard
    Pickacard
    May 3, 2019 at 8:35 am | #

    Oh boy.

  30. ShinyNeen
    ShinyNeen
    May 3, 2019 at 9:54 am | #

    Dang it, Sal, you got adorkable love-obsessed doofuses stuck in your head? Do you know how hard those are to get rid of?? Sheesh, they’re gonna be there forever.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 3, 2019 at 10:14 am | #

      and ever and ever

  31. SonicBlueRanger
    SonicBlueRanger
    May 3, 2019 at 11:19 am | #

    *Munches Popcorn* This is going to be good!

  32. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    May 3, 2019 at 11:46 am | #

    Ugh, Malaya thinking she’s hot shit just because her sclera are normally visible.

  33. ziggy78eog
    ziggy78eog
    May 3, 2019 at 11:57 am | #

    This might look crude, but this is sometimes necessary. If people are going to be living as close as these two are, in a college setting, boundaries, and parameters need to be set. And when they are crossed, you need to tell that person. Sometimes, strong language is needed to properly convey that.

  34. Megan
    Megan
    May 3, 2019 at 12:08 pm | #

    Oh My God why is Malaya so rude?!

    • Megz
      Megz
      May 3, 2019 at 1:59 pm | #

      Because she’s an attention-hungry bongo. I predict she’s slowly realizing the people on her new floor don’t give a shit about her like the old dorm.

      • Classic Appa
        Classic Appa
        May 3, 2019 at 4:55 pm | #

        I would actually say not needing other peoples validation is Malaya’s defining characteristic.

        • Eldritch Gentleman
          Eldritch Gentleman
          May 3, 2019 at 5:16 pm | #

          It’s more like she needs Negative validation. She craves attention but wants to appear like this cool “Don’t care about your opinion” kind of person. Might be why she got all up into Sal’s business about being a “poser”, she is projecting.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          May 3, 2019 at 9:47 pm | #

          Claiming to not need other people’s validation is her defining characteristic.

          Then she went and fucked Joe to show Sal she could get a better rating.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      May 3, 2019 at 8:16 pm | #

      “What makes Iago evil? some people ask. I never ask.” -Joan Didion

      • Jago
        Jago
        May 3, 2019 at 8:51 pm | #

        I have feelings, you know.

        • Jago
          Jago
          May 3, 2019 at 8:51 pm | #

          /joking ofc ;>

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          May 3, 2019 at 11:51 pm | #

          Then maybe joining the dramatis personae of a Shakespeare tragedy was not the wisest move.

      • Josh Spicer
        Josh Spicer
        May 3, 2019 at 10:39 pm | #

        He helped out Jafar. There was a whole movie about it. With a redemption and everything.

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B: Right. 
B: Jesus God
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