Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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Assault
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July 11, 2026

Assault

by David M Willis on November 16, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - Pajama Jeans
└ Tags: dorothy, jennifer, joyce, sal, sarah, walky

Discussion (145) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    November 16, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    “Ya know ya gotta track this sumbongo down yerselves an’ finish th’ job, right?”

    • Wandering Meme
      Wandering Meme
      November 16, 2011 at 10:27 am | #

      Man. He wouldn’t have gotten away with this if Desanto was in office…

      • Fauxlosopher
        Fauxlosopher
        November 16, 2011 at 12:42 pm | #

        DeSanto IS in office, she’s running for re-election.

        • Asuka L.S.
          Asuka L.S.
          November 16, 2011 at 5:21 pm | #

          Well, there went the swing vote for the Conservative Lesbian ticket. Ah, well.

          • johannhowitzer
            johannhowitzer
            November 16, 2011 at 6:33 pm | #

            Your gravatar makes this too perfect.

    • Jenny Creed
      Jenny Creed
      June 3, 2013 at 6:12 pm | #

      This station does not condone vigilante justice. Unless it gets more reliable results than the legal system. And since less than 3% of all rapists spend even one day in jail, not to mention attempted rapists:

      GET HIM.

  2. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    November 16, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    Hopefully Amazi-Girl caught him and kicked him in the balls hard enough to make him confess.

    And yay, Sal forgot to put pants on.

    • Henry
      Henry
      November 16, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

      Walky’s having a very good morning; surrounded by women in varying states of dress.

      We will ignore the fact that one of them is his sister for the sake of my point.

      • ALostProphet
        ALostProphet
        November 16, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

        Please do. *retches*

      • NakedDumblydore
        NakedDumblydore
        November 16, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

        Twincest…?

        • ALostProphet
          ALostProphet
          November 16, 2011 at 12:13 am | #

          Not this again…

          Ref: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-2/01-pajama-jeans/coincidence/#comment-44584

        • Ancestral Hamster
          Ancestral Hamster
          November 16, 2011 at 12:58 am | #

          DoA is just taking a cue from Funky Cancercancer.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 16, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

      Pants are for the weak. 😀

      • Wandering Meme
        Wandering Meme
        November 16, 2011 at 11:07 am | #

        Then walky must be very brave: admitting his weakness for female sweat jeans in front of pants-less women…

        he may need to be remasculated later though.

      • Blob Marley
        Blob Marley
        November 16, 2011 at 12:30 pm | #

        Dat gravatar… dat comment… I’ll be in my bunk. 😛

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        November 16, 2011 at 3:09 pm | #

        Aaaagh! Your avatar just scared the crap out of me.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 16, 2011 at 4:04 pm | #

          “I AM THE AVATAR MURDERER!”

          • madd
            madd
            November 16, 2011 at 4:14 pm | #

            Sounds more like the avatar laxative.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            November 17, 2011 at 5:07 pm | #

            And now your avatar has changed, and people are wondering what the hell I am talking about.

  3. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    November 16, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    Gravitas sound yummy!

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      November 16, 2011 at 1:05 am | #

      Jesus, Plasma, Murder!Osaka makes everything you say a billion times creepier.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 16, 2011 at 1:12 am | #

        and that’s why I like her. “D

    • Wandering Meme
      Wandering Meme
      November 16, 2011 at 10:25 am | #

      Gravitas are a nutritious part of a balanced breakfast!

      • Wandering Meme
        Wandering Meme
        November 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm | #

        Also, I’m surprised she can pronounce “gravitas” given her state of mind…

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 16, 2011 at 9:37 pm | #

          Is gravitas pronounced gra-vi-tas or grav-e-tas?

  4. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    November 16, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    Nobody likes a snitch.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 16, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

      Unless it’s a Golden Snitch, then you can win matches with it.

      • Jacob
        Jacob
        November 16, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

        Or, if you’re Ireland, it’s just a way to end the game.

      • Bekah
        Bekah
        November 16, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

        I feel like someone needs to make a Willis-As-Potter joke here…

        • fellixe
          fellixe
          November 16, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

          I think Walky might be a
          pretty good Neville, but a Harry?

          • Bekah
            Bekah
            November 16, 2011 at 12:24 am | #

            You missed an ancient comic in which walky dressed up as potter and everyone thought he was dressing up as willis.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 16, 2011 at 12:22 am | #

      You know what they say about a snitch. Snitch and you’ll be wearing cement tennis shoes.

      • fellixe
        fellixe
        November 16, 2011 at 12:35 am | #

        That can’t be good for your arches.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          November 16, 2011 at 12:45 am | #

          And not good for swimming.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        November 16, 2011 at 1:17 am | #

        I thought it was “Snitches get stitches.”

        • Rjaco321
          Rjaco321
          November 16, 2011 at 2:31 am | #

          Snitchin is bongoin

        • madd
          madd
          November 16, 2011 at 1:05 pm | #

          It is. I’ve been telling my kids that since they were toddlers.

          • Valdrax
            Valdrax
            November 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm | #

            Let’s hope they never get molested by an authority figure or work for a corrupt boss, then.

            • madd
              madd
              November 16, 2011 at 4:16 pm | #

              This implies my children actually listen to me.

              • madd
                madd
                November 16, 2011 at 4:16 pm | #

                They know I’m crazy.

  5. Brendan
    Brendan
    November 16, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

    …where the heck are they?

    • Bekah
      Bekah
      November 16, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

      Sarah and Joyce’s dorm room, which connects to Billie and Sal’s

    • Jacob
      Jacob
      November 16, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

      Sarah and Joyce’s dorm. Remember? They share a half-bath.

    • Xi
      Xi
      November 16, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

      In Joyce and Sarah’s dorm room, which has a shared bathroom with Bille and Sarah.

  6. ALostProphet
    ALostProphet
    November 16, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

    Still not as stupid as not going to the hospital. Just sayin’.

    • Bekah
      Bekah
      November 16, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

      I agree with this so hard it gives me tingles in areas.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 16, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

        I would see a doctor about that if the tingles continue.

        • ALostProphet
          ALostProphet
          November 16, 2011 at 12:10 am | #

          Well, it’s probably nothi-OH WAIT

          • Wandering Meme
            Wandering Meme
            November 16, 2011 at 12:30 pm | #

            Remember, if your tingles tinkle, take tingle tinkler plus. For when your tingles start to tinkle and it mingles with your shingles!

        • turkishproverb
          turkishproverb
          November 16, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

          A Doctor?

          We are talking about Gravitas here. the kind bat’s give you. Or bowties. Or Fez’s… Or stetsons…

          • fellixe
            fellixe
            November 16, 2011 at 12:20 am | #

            Just remember that if tingles last longer than 4 hours you’re a lucky bastard and everyone will be jealous of you.

            • eerilychildish
              eerilychildish
              November 16, 2011 at 9:42 am | #

              It’s medication for erectile dysfunction. It gives you a boner! Not to be used if you have a preexisting heart condition. If boners persist for more than 4 hours, call more ladies!

              • Khrene Cleaver
                Khrene Cleaver
                November 16, 2011 at 3:51 pm | #

                And don’t forget the camera!

          • Joraiem
            Joraiem
            November 16, 2011 at 12:21 am | #

            Or badass long brown coats?

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              November 16, 2011 at 4:05 pm | #

              Don’t forget to put on some brown pants!

  7. OhHayMike
    OhHayMike
    November 16, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

    Not too many more people can fit in one dorm room.

    It’s just like college, a shit ton of people in your room, minding everyone’s business but their own…

    • fellixe
      fellixe
      November 16, 2011 at 12:22 am | #

      I was beginning to wonder if there was a clown car in the hallway or something.

  8. Deuecebag
    Deuecebag
    November 16, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

    Does not surprise me at all that Sal knows how to do with the police.

    • Deuecebag
      Deuecebag
      November 16, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

      *deal*

      • Bekah
        Bekah
        November 16, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

        I liked this better before the correction.

        • Wandering Meme
          Wandering Meme
          November 16, 2011 at 12:36 pm | #

          And she’s underage…i wonder if the cops knew that?

          • Joraiem
            Joraiem
            November 16, 2011 at 3:07 pm | #

            What? They’re in college, she’s probably 18, isn’t she?

            • Khrene Cleaver
              Khrene Cleaver
              November 16, 2011 at 3:52 pm | #

              Shes also a sophomore so probably 19

              • Bekah
                Bekah
                November 16, 2011 at 7:03 pm | #

                If Walky’s a freshmen, why would his twin sister be a sophomore?

                • Andrusi
                  Andrusi
                  November 17, 2011 at 3:17 pm | #

                  Sal was born just before midnight and Walky was born just after. Their almost-shared birthdays are at exactly the right time such that Sal was old enough for kindergarten a year before Walky was.

                  I am, incidentally, full of shit.

              • David
                David M Willis
                November 17, 2011 at 3:33 pm | #

                Sal is a freshman.

    • Valdrax
      Valdrax
      November 16, 2011 at 2:02 pm | #

      It also shouldn’t surprise that Sal’s automatic suspicion is that the police will always side against you.

  9. RaijinK
    RaijinK
    November 16, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

    I want the story to just continue with another cast member wandering into Joyce and Sarah’s room each day to throw in their two cents until there are no characters left.

    I look forward to Galasso’s take on the issue.

    • NakedDumblydore
      NakedDumblydore
      November 16, 2011 at 12:16 am | #

      Galasso would like to meet the dominating young man and use his seed to sire him a protege.

      • Lord Synick XXIII
        Lord Synick XXIII
        November 16, 2011 at 10:42 am | #

        Gravatar = win.

    • Kisai
      Kisai
      November 16, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

      Wasn’t there a 4th wall to this room a half hour ago?

      • Wandering Meme
        Wandering Meme
        November 16, 2011 at 12:40 pm | #

        4th walls go down here like it’s the city of jericho.

  10. Doom Shepherd
    Doom Shepherd
    November 16, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

    And Sarah gets “ratted on.”. I see what you did there, Willis.

    /CaptainObvious

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 16, 2011 at 12:12 am | #

      OH MY!

  11. Xartarin
    Xartarin
    November 16, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

    There’s an easy solution to the problem: As time passes, more and more people are congregating around Joyce’s problems, like flies to a bug-zapper made of drama.

    All they have to do is keep talking and discussing, and eventually so many cast members will show up that the guy from the party will HAVE to be there!

  12. Wackd
    Wackd
    November 16, 2011 at 12:10 am | #

    Why is Sarah so pissed off? What is Sal going to do about it? Sarah doesn’t have to answer to her.

    Now, if Billie was shifting the blame, that’d be one thing. But it was Sarah who gave the final word. “Joyce says she’ll be fine. No hospital. But first thing tomorrow morning, we’re shoving a police report up this guy’s ass.” Bam. They’re in the car.

    Now, granted, Billie did also say “no hospital”, but with the corollary that nothing be done about the situation at all (because, if Joyce is right, going to the police with anything would result in her parents taking her home, which Billie was against.) Now, that’s not exactly better, but in Billie’s scenario it didn’t matter if the drugs were out of her system or not.

    • Bekah
      Bekah
      November 16, 2011 at 12:13 am | #

      You’re thinking too hard and not understanding enough.

    • madd
      madd
      November 16, 2011 at 1:15 pm | #

      Wouldn’t you be cheezed if someone you don’t like to begin with makes it sound like you intimidated them in to doing things your way when they took part in forming your choice of action?

  13. Valkeer1
    Valkeer1
    November 16, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

    Joyce isn’t falling all over Sal with worshipness…she really is messed up…

    • Michelle J Caboose
      Michelle J Caboose
      November 16, 2011 at 12:22 pm | #

      Well… But Sal’s not wearing any pants!

      • Valdrax
        Valdrax
        November 16, 2011 at 2:06 pm | #

        The pants also carry gravitas.

        • Khrene Cleaver
          Khrene Cleaver
          November 16, 2011 at 3:56 pm | #

          and thats why they fell down off Sal’s legs

      • Jacob
        Jacob
        November 16, 2011 at 4:13 pm | #

        gravatar win

  14. fellixe
    fellixe
    November 16, 2011 at 12:16 am | #

    Really? I think Walky might be a pretty good Neville, but a Harry?

    • Lordphulish
      Lordphulish
      November 16, 2011 at 3:56 am | #

      I’d say more of a Tenchi, especially with that female to male ratio.

    • xaan
      xaan
      November 16, 2011 at 1:24 pm | #

      Walky’s cool, but he’s no Neville Fucking Longbottom. At least not this incarnation. Put him in a blindingly tragic cardigan and send him to cut up some reptiles and then we’ll talk.

      • Michelle J Caboose
        Michelle J Caboose
        November 17, 2011 at 3:30 am | #

        I just watched the last movie this past weekend. The scene in the book where Harry tells Neville to kill the snake was left out, and the film kept making it look like Harry, Ron or Hermione was going to be the one to kill Nagini. I kept yelling at the screen, “That’s Neville’s moment! Don’t you dare take it away from him!”

        When Neville finally got his crowning moment of awesome, I was finally able to relax and enjoy the rest of the movie.

  15. NakedDumblydore
    NakedDumblydore
    November 16, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

    Seriously, everyone’s going to know this business if they don’t learn how to close a friggin’ door. :/

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      November 16, 2011 at 7:04 am | #

      I just keep wondering how many people are going to walk in on this meeting. With a cast this size, it could potentially go on indefinitely.

      “FOOLS! I come bearing wisdom. Heed the advice of Galasso!”

      • Lord Synick XXIII
        Lord Synick XXIII
        November 16, 2011 at 10:47 am | #

        Eventually people from other universes will have to come too.

        “Hey ladies. Faz will now be helpful.”
        “A problem, you say? Perhaps now that I am here, your problems will be solved…as well as your WRETCHED MISERABLE LIVES!”
        “You might be a man, but you sure don’t look it; you gotta catch your goose before you can cook it.”
        “GRUNT”

        • NakedDumblydore
          NakedDumblydore
          November 17, 2011 at 12:28 am | #

          Oh, man, I can’t wait for Reagan to show up!

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        November 16, 2011 at 3:08 pm | #

        Just as long as nobody orders duck soup. (holy obscure reference batman!)

    • Wandering Meme
      Wandering Meme
      November 16, 2011 at 1:47 pm | #

      “Hey ladies, I was just across the hall, from round the corner, down the stairs, off campus, down the road off exit 69, 11 blocks down, in the subterranean nether region, past the interdimensional portal leading to elvhenan, over the hills, through the woods, past the magical golden gates of bubble- f (_) © k land, when I over heard your conversation, and I know it’s none of MY business, but….

      • Mr. Morningstar
        Mr. Morningstar
        November 16, 2011 at 5:31 pm | #

        YES.

  16. isitsevenyet
    isitsevenyet
    November 16, 2011 at 12:20 am | #

    They don’t really need a name, they all saw him. Just give them a description of what he looks like. It’s better than nothing and might just be enough for the cops to go on.

    • Bekah
      Bekah
      November 16, 2011 at 12:23 am | #

      Without evidence, the cops have nothing to go on but their word. When Ryan turns around and says he was assaulted and shows them the big gash on his face, Joyce is going to be the one in trouble, not him.

      Hence Sal’s objection to the whole premise.

      • ALostProphet
        ALostProphet
        November 16, 2011 at 12:27 am | #

        And the concussion. If he ran around after a blow like that, there’s a good chance the agitation could very easily make him just keel over and die.

      • madd
        madd
        November 16, 2011 at 1:16 pm | #

        Never mind Sarah and her bat.

      • Valdrax
        Valdrax
        November 16, 2011 at 2:12 pm | #

        There were multiple witnesses to her drugged state and to Sarah beating him off of her. It’s not quite “he said, she said” here, and he’s going to have to come up with a more plausible motive for her to have glassed him (and for her behavior afterwards) than that of all her friends.

        Sal’s just biased against cops because she’s earned a criminal record for herself. They’re far more likely to treat Joyce with a more open mind, especially if she comes in with a group of friends / witnesses to make the report.

        • Jacob
          Jacob
          November 16, 2011 at 4:16 pm | #

          ‘Friends’ here having the meaning of ‘her loyal drunken subjects’.

        • Bekah
          Bekah
          November 16, 2011 at 7:06 pm | #

          The state of the witnesses (almost exclusively drunk out of their heads) and the fact that many of them are probably not of legal drinking age leads to two things: 1, they aren’t credible and 2, most of them won’t want to come forward.

          • Valdrax
            Valdrax
            November 16, 2011 at 10:02 pm | #

            Credible is relative.

            Which is more credible? Multiple witnesses of varying inebriation levels claiming the exact same thing (including at least two fully sober witnesses) or whatever story one guy comes up with for why someone like Joyce would attack him?

            • Joraiem
              Joraiem
              November 17, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

              Still, we have the “beyond reasonable doubt” issue. It would be extremely difficult to get any sort of conviction just based on testimony of Joyce appearing to be drugged. Especially since there was tons of alcohol at the party. Any defense lawyer worth his salt would not only call the witnesses into question, but call Joyce herself into question, asking why she didn’t go to the hospital if she was really drugged, and if she has something to hide.

              Basically, Sarah screwed them over with her decision to listen to a drugged, delirious girl’s opinion on the topic.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 16, 2011 at 12:23 am | #

      Besides, finding him will be easy. Just look for a blonde guy who have scars on his face.

    • fellixe
      fellixe
      November 16, 2011 at 12:32 am | #

      “Yes, officer, he is a white male, blond hair, blue eyes, light build, maybe 5’10”, jagged facial scar, walks as if the lower half of his spine was suddenly shifted 4″ to the left…”

  17. Tristan J
    Tristan J
    November 16, 2011 at 12:25 am | #

    I’m charmed by the fact that Sal’s accent includes pronouncing idea with an ‘r’. 🙂

    • espanolbot
      espanolbot
      November 16, 2011 at 6:18 am | #

      She’s Scooby Doo!

    • icepyrox
      icepyrox
      November 16, 2011 at 4:18 pm | #

      Being from the South, I’ve always been amused by the migration of the letter R from New England to various other parts of the country.

      Speaking of though, what part of Tennessee is she from anyways? I just realized I read her accent with a certain drawl that I can’t quite place in TN (believe it or not different parts of the South have a different accent).

  18. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    November 16, 2011 at 1:02 am | #

    Hey, when an angry woman with a bat says something, you pay attention.

    • David
      David M Willis
      November 16, 2011 at 2:05 am | #

      Also, when someone asks if you are a god…

      • Mrelegos
        Mrelegos
        November 16, 2011 at 2:46 am | #

        You say maybe?

        • Kitsuki Noriyuki
          Kitsuki Noriyuki
          November 16, 2011 at 6:50 am | #

          but what does God need with a starship? That’s the real question.

          • Michelle J Caboose
            Michelle J Caboose
            November 16, 2011 at 12:23 pm | #

            WIN

    • Wandering Meme
      Wandering Meme
      November 16, 2011 at 2:01 pm | #

      And when she says she’ll stop hitting you if you stay still, get up and run!

  19. Leon Real
    Leon Real
    November 16, 2011 at 1:08 am | #

    Sarah should definitely learn to be nice to people. Or at least not get on Billie’s bad side.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      November 16, 2011 at 1:20 am | #

      Billie has a good side?

    • madd
      madd
      November 16, 2011 at 1:18 pm | #

      And she cares about Billie’s good side … why?

  20. Ryorin
    Ryorin
    November 16, 2011 at 1:58 am | #

    “An’ whose idea was it to wait until the drugs’er out of ‘er system to go through with this?”

    And millions thousands hundreds dozens of readers cried out I-told-you-so’s and were suddenly silenced…

    • winochemist
      winochemist
      November 16, 2011 at 8:45 pm | #

      The drugs will still be in her system the next morning. She’d still test positive for date rape drugs. It isn’t fairy dust or something she’d sweat out. Those kinds of sedatives wear off gradually and linger in your system for more than the 8-12 hours she slept.

      Not critiquing the comic, because, well, it’s a comic. But I am a little alarmed by the amount of people who think this comic is perfectly applying real world science mechanics.

      • Ryorin
        Ryorin
        November 16, 2011 at 11:36 pm | #

        You make a good point… but the readers were referring to what would happen in the comic, methinks. If they don’t go to the police until after the drugs are out of her system, more drama.

        And this is a Willis comic.

  21. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    November 16, 2011 at 2:32 am | #

    dammit >.<

  22. Scoot
    Scoot
    November 16, 2011 at 3:11 am | #

    Whoever asked to see her feet…this is your moment.

  23. Kalan
    Kalan
    November 16, 2011 at 3:23 am | #

    So Billie, for one, welcomes our new insect overlords… wait, no aliens in this continuity.Might be the pounding headache talking.

  24. Webcomic Addict
    Webcomic Addict
    November 16, 2011 at 3:24 am | #

    Between Sarah, Sal, Billie, and Amazigirl, there has to be SOME retribution in this guys future. Throw us a bone Willis!

  25. Lordphulish
    Lordphulish
    November 16, 2011 at 4:04 am | #

    Bats add gravitas. It is a fact. Just ask Al Capone.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-sV-O2-jCY

    • Muahahahaha
      Muahahahaha
      November 16, 2011 at 4:33 am | #

      Just ask Batman.

    • johannhowitzer
      johannhowitzer
      November 16, 2011 at 6:41 pm | #

      Just ask Teddy Roosevelt.

      • Wackd
        Wackd
        November 16, 2011 at 10:48 pm | #

        No, you’re thinking sticks.

        • Michelle J Caboose
          Michelle J Caboose
          November 17, 2011 at 3:47 am | #

          “In America, we say ‘stick’ like this: baseball bat. Which is very good for hittin’ kneesand stomachs. It’s also good for hittin’ balls.”

  26. espanolbot
    espanolbot
    November 16, 2011 at 6:20 am | #

    Aw, come on Joyce, he’s Ryan the Rapist! The alliteration’ll make it easier to remember in the future. 🙂

  27. Mancuso
    Mancuso
    November 16, 2011 at 6:34 am | #

    I know I’m irredeemably stupid, but I can’t stop figuring Christian Bale in full Dark Knight outfit, going “I haz a bat. I haz Gravitas.”

  28. Chase
    Chase
    November 16, 2011 at 8:22 am | #

    Wow. Sal’s got a point. They should have gone to the cops last night. At least they would have been able to prove she was drugged even if they didn’t have the guy’s name; they would have had his info.
    The only time my mom ever had to call the cops, she was asked why she didn’t call them at the time of the incident and that they can do nothing for her now that it had been two days after because she decided she needed time to “think about if the cops were needed or not”. -_-

  29. Ender
    Ender
    November 16, 2011 at 10:31 am | #

    Mike: “I didn’t catch his name, but I did make these castanets out of his testicles. That help?”

  30. begbert2
    begbert2
    November 16, 2011 at 10:55 am | #

    I’m still wondering where she got the bat, and for that matter, where it ended up. Was it at the house with the party? On her person? Hammerspace? And does she still have it? (It’s a worthwhile question – you never know when you’ll need a little extra gravitas.)

    • Valdrax
      Valdrax
      November 16, 2011 at 2:14 pm | #

      It was in Joyce’s Apples to Apples box — duh!

    • Gargamel
      Gargamel
      November 16, 2011 at 4:51 pm | #

      Honestly I think Sarah is just paranoid.
      That’s why she brought the bat.

  31. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    November 16, 2011 at 11:17 am | #

    You should still go to the police! In case he tries it on someone else who might report him! Two hits against him is more believable than one!

    • JK9000
      JK9000
      November 16, 2011 at 2:14 pm | #

      I’d agree, except that’d mean owning up to assaulting the guy with a glass and baseball bat, without solid evidence that it was in self-defense. It’d be enormously shitty for Sarah and Joyce to end on the losing side of the case when they didn’t do anything wrong.

  32. Throg
    Throg
    November 16, 2011 at 3:31 pm | #

    Yup. Joyce is screwed. And not in a good way.

    • madd
      madd
      November 16, 2011 at 4:13 pm | #

      Well, from Joyce’s current point of view, there is no good way.

  33. Asuka L.S.
    Asuka L.S.
    November 16, 2011 at 5:17 pm | #

    Ah, gravitas. The second go-to answer for any question in a Roman art class (after virtus). I’d forgotten all about it until now.

  34. rwl
    rwl
    November 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm | #

    I am now hearing Applejack’s voice when reading Sal’s dialogue. Why do you do this to me, ponies?

    • Boringamus
      Boringamus
      November 16, 2011 at 9:29 pm | #

      I’ve been reading it in Applejack’s voice since long before I started watching my little pony, just out of sheer coincidence. You have to admit, it suits her.

  35. Khrene Cleaver
    Khrene Cleaver
    November 17, 2011 at 3:04 am | #

    I just realized if there no police report against him its possible for the guy to shove a repot up their asses is managed to get enough info about them

  36. BrokenEye, True False Prophet
    BrokenEye, True False Prophet
    September 16, 2015 at 10:36 pm | #

    “Deliver me from all my transgressions: Make me not the reproach of the foolish.”

    Psalm 39:8

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September 13/14, 2025 - Small Press Expo in Bethesda, Maryland

David M Willis! avatar
David M Willis!
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 22min
the fridge, swinging his spiked football stick at people: YOU JUST GOT FRIDGED other joes: uh uh that's not what that means, uh
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preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 35min
Weird thing to hand out before the Joe stream starting in a few minutes.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 37min
*sorts through (evolving) buffer* joyce and dorothy already having smooched really opens up a swath of strips for bookmark eligibility
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Ben Ansell @benansell.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
You: pornbots keep randomly following me on Bluesky Me, an intellectual: pornbots are citing my books on Google Scholar
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 4h
If you say so
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 5h
alasbabylon.bsky.social's user avatarScott Rivers @alasbabylon.bsky.social ⋅ 5h
Doordashing Hooters feels like missing the point in a thousand ways.
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Evan Urquhart @evanurquhart.bsky.social ⋅ 20h
Call me petty but I just want the anti-woke hysterics who called all speech that didn't fawn over them censorship to admit they were wrong and beg forgiveness for causing all this.
assignedmedia.org's user avatarAssigned Media @assignedmedia.org ⋅ 20h
South Park laments the Trump administration's attacks on wokeness, despite having been a leading voice in those same attacks. Opinion by @evanurquhart.bsky.social
header image - South Park Mourns the Death of Woke — Assigned
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South Park Mourns the Death of Woke — Assigned
An adult cartoon that reveled in the anti-woke backlash reckons with its impact.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 13h
Dumbing of Age: "Reek" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Reek
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
if i had a nickel for every Nickel that comes with a Tarn action figure, i'd have two Nickels, and also two nickels, neither of which is a lot
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
YOLOPARK DINOBOT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
Look, goose women coexisting with humans, fine. Goose women with heads the size of a human torso, that I'm having trouble with
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
ALL sessions with Beetle Bailey are Private sessions, nyuk nyuk
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
Jon: *grinning* are you doing adorable cat things? Garfield: yes Jon: this disgusts me, apparently
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
did he tho (no)
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Bog Witch Girl @bogwitch-girl.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
after a very frustrating call with Visa (US+CAN), I was told that Visa would like inquiries relating to using their bargaining power to destroy adult media to be sent, via email, to askvisa@visa.com they asked. to be sent. emails. you know what to do.
iantos.bsky.social's user avatarIantos @iantos.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Maybe we could find out. Mastercard (US): 1-800-627-8372 Mastercard (Int.): +1-636-722-7111 Visa (US + Can): 1 800 847 2911 Visa (AUS): 1 800 125 440 PayPal: +44-0203-901-7000
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
Charles ENTRAPMENT Cheese! HE WAS SET UP
phillewis.bsky.social's user avatarPhil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
A Chuck E. Cheese employee in full costume was arrested by Tallahassee officers for credit card fraud www.tallahassee.com/story/news/l...
A police officer arrests Chuck E Cheese while children watch in the background
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
....unleash my potential as the side-eyeing monkey puppet????????? how did they know
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
Mfw my power is unlimited
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Hasbro Star Wars Black Series 6” Mace Windu & Darth Sidious 2-pack.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
FLY GUY
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
SDCC 2025: NECA Sesame Street.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
ABYSS RAIN the most emo stegosaurus of all time, not that that's a high bar
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
Finally gonna make something of myself
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Queen Sunflower (She/Her) 29 @queensunflowers.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
we're treating this as explicit permission, btw. Not cheating anymore, he told them to do it!!!
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
The answer may surprise you! but it shouldn't
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Joshua Conkel @joshuaconkel.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
We have done this experiment one billion times and it has worked great all one billion times.
jonmunitz.bsky.social's user avatarJon Munitz @jonmunitz.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Germany gave people €1,200/month no strings attached. They kept working, slept better, switched to better jobs, and even gave more to others. Turns out, when people aren’t drowning, they swim further. #UBI doesn’t kill ambition, it frees it.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
You vs the girl he tells you to not make eye contact with please
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
THEN WHY DID THEY CANCEL MINE
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Hasbro Transformers Age of the Primes Sideways is in stock at Walmart ($24.97) - bit.ly/3J2BiOz #ad
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Anthony Oliveira @meakoopa.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
rest in piss hulk hogan
andre the giant: I don't like to speak badly of people I have grown up thinking and being told that if you cannot Say something nice about someone, you should not say anything at all. But I must break that rule in this case because I hate Hulk Hogan very much. He is a big ugly goon and I want to squash his face.
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Josh Fruhlinger @jfruh.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
once again, my self-appointed task of commenting on a daily artistic medium over the course of decades that sometimes throws repeats at me puts me in the position of pierre menard accidentally writing the quixote
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Thew Adams @toygrind.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Oh my GOD Those stickers we saw on Dammit Open earlier this month? With the super early G1 artwork of non-finalised Autobots? And that one little weirdo in the corner with the VW chest who looked like a shit Bumblebee? It's fucking MUFFY
chrismcfeely.bsky.social's user avatarChris McFeely @chrismcfeely.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
WE DONE IT AGAIN!! Another long-lost TF document unearthed at last and brought to you at TFNation! Come Muffy-diving with me and Jim as we take you on a detailed look through writer Jeffrey Scott's WILDLY different early-1984 pitch for the original G1 cartoon!!
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Chris McFeely @chrismcfeely.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
WE DONE IT AGAIN!! Another long-lost TF document unearthed at last and brought to you at TFNation! Come Muffy-diving with me and Jim as we take you on a detailed look through writer Jeffrey Scott's WILDLY different early-1984 pitch for the original G1 cartoon!!
tfnationltd.bsky.social's user avatarTFNation @tfnationltd.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
This is a BIG one... TRANSFORMERS NONE: THE CARTOON THAT NEVER WAS TFNation 2025 Saturday Night Clubcon 9th August 2025 ✅ Sorenson & McFeely ✅ Lost media ✅ Pre-recorded script reading ✅ Special guest cast Details below! tfnation.com/blog/20... #TFNation #Transformers
Transformers none panel logo
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Pop quiz: what are they fighting over
Cafeteria Joyce/Walky catfight
19
1
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