Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 12, 2026

Non sequitur

by David M Willis on September 27, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • 06 - Strange Beerfellows
└ Tags: ethan, joyce, mike, sierra

Discussion (165) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ben
    Ben
    September 27, 2012 at 12:01 am | #

    Oh Mike, you rascal.

    • ASmellyOgre
      ASmellyOgre
      September 27, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

      He’s just trying to help Joyce and Ethan grow as people. He is the force of chaotic good in the Dumbiverse.

      • ShadowWing Tronix
        ShadowWing Tronix
        September 27, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

        Chaotic, yes. Good…the verdict is still out in this reality and questionable in the Walkyverse.

        • Joe
          Joe
          September 27, 2012 at 12:21 am | #

          Is Chaotic Chaotic an alignment?
          I think Mike just made it one.

          • NCP19
            NCP19
            September 27, 2012 at 12:29 am | #

            I always just thought of “Mike” as an alignment, outside the traditional grid, just glaring while also doing mothers for a nickel.

            • Undrave
              Undrave
              September 27, 2012 at 1:37 am | #

              Mike did the traditional grid’s mom for 1 CP.

              • Rognik
                Rognik
                September 27, 2012 at 12:19 pm | #

                Now that’s a little unfair. He paid at LEAST 10 CP.

                • luke
                  luke
                  September 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm | #

                  Maybe it’s pie in the sky or whatever, but I hope he ends up being nicer compared to his other realities. I get that it’s his shtick and it makes him what he is, but I’m over him being a pain for the sake of being a pain…there has to be room for growth for him in this universe. Well, that’s just how I feel, am probably in the minority.

                  He is nicer compared to Shortpacked etc though ;/

                • CommentSpawn
                  CommentSpawn
                  September 27, 2012 at 9:59 pm | #

                  He seems nicer to me in this universe too, and I’m with Luke on wanting him to stay that way. In SP at least, he comes off a bit one dimensional (I haven’t read most of the rest of the Walkyverse, so I can’t comment on it; I am following Bring Back Roomies now, though). Here, however, he’s less an asshole and more forcing people into awkward situations they nonetheless need to have.

            • Zana
              Zana
              April 4, 2013 at 6:09 pm | #

              Mike is the opposite alignment to you, for any given person. ^_^

            • Jenny Creed
              Jenny Creed
              June 4, 2013 at 12:20 pm | #

              I’m going to call him Sadistic Good.

            • BrokenEye, True False Prophet
              BrokenEye, True False Prophet
              September 18, 2015 at 9:45 pm | #

              He’s chaotic necktie

          • Steven
            Steven
            September 27, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

            I see him as Chaotic Neutral. See, he WOULD be chaotic evil (Because he screwed Good’s mom for a nickel), but he ALSO screwed Evil’s mom for a nickel. He screwed both Chaotic’s and Neutral’s moms to (For one nickel that they split between themselves), but those two just don’t care.

            • Sparks
              Sparks
              September 28, 2012 at 2:02 pm | #

              So, really, Mike’s alignment is “Chaotic Jackass.”

            • fatemaster1
              fatemaster1
              June 18, 2014 at 5:09 am | #

              Definitely Chaotic neutral!

          • Blob Marley
            Blob Marley
            September 27, 2012 at 12:51 am | #

            Chaotic Neutral is also known as True Chaotic. It’s the closest you’ll get.

          • Liam
            Liam
            September 27, 2012 at 1:16 am | #

            we can use the fabled Chaotic Waffle, Chaotic Lawful’s older brother.

            • Random Guy
              Random Guy
              September 27, 2012 at 3:44 am | #

              I prefer Chaotic Falafel.

              • Raiser
                Raiser
                September 27, 2012 at 2:28 pm | #

                Chaotic Roffle is that guy that laughs at completely innocuous statements, but never explains why he thinks they’re funny.

          • Oberon
            Oberon
            December 23, 2013 at 10:40 am | #

            I believe what you’re searching for is Chaotic Neutral.

            • fatemaster1
              fatemaster1
              June 18, 2014 at 5:10 am | #

              Exactly!

          • Cacturne
            Cacturne
            January 24, 2016 at 4:37 pm | #

            I think this is the best thing i’ve heard
            People try to put mike under chaotic good or chaotic neutral, or any of the evils, but he’s really only chaotic
            Mike and Knuckles’ Chaotix

        • BranTheQuixotic
          BranTheQuixotic
          September 27, 2012 at 12:31 am | #

          His treatment of Walky seeeeems unequivocally bad to me -Walky’s only still with Dorothy due to the failure of Mike’s plans. And Mike has far more reason to hate Walky than he seems to need with most people (i.e. no reason at all) ’cause of the whole bottom bunk farting thing. I guess you could argue his treatment of Ethan could be good though – he’s trying to stop Ethan from getting himself into something bad. And every time he interacts with Joyce he seems to be subtly trying to get her to question her belief system (if punching Joe in the face counts).

          • BigMadDraco
            BigMadDraco
            September 27, 2012 at 12:35 am | #

            Well in the Dumiverse he is Ethan’s high school “friend” (such as Mike is capable of having friends).

          • Phil
            Phil
            September 27, 2012 at 1:04 am | #

            Half agree with ya. He’s been dickish to Walky several times, but has helped or tried to help both Joyce and Dorothy. Granted, the first time helping Joyce was punching Joe in the face…

            He seems to be the “nicest” of the Walkyverse Mikes to me.

            • Khrene
              Khrene
              September 27, 2012 at 1:50 am | #

              I think Mike is playing the Devil’s Advocate, if you cosider that Mikes intentions not to break Walky and Dorothy up, but to test their (relationship’s) mettle.

              Just think of the big bloody mess it would’ve been if Dorothy and Walky had been more committed to one another and not in that “still getting to know one another and accepting each other’s faults phase.”

              I mean that sometimes one tries to stay silent about a subject concerning a friend or partner to try to keep the relationship alive, but the negative emotions will wind up building up and eventually erupting into something ugly and hateful.

              Neither of them had really too much of a time commitment to build up a want to protect the other’s feelings/wishes, and now Walky is probably gonna wind up cleaning himself up a bit, and Dor.othy might want to help deal with Walky’s messy man-nerd habits.

              • Steven
                Steven
                September 27, 2012 at 5:08 am | #

                Do you guys realize you are trying to understand Mike?
                Stahp.

          • Sporky
            Sporky
            September 27, 2012 at 1:04 am | #

            His comment about Pajama Jeans being the “best thing in [Walky’s] life right now” sounds to me like he was trying to make a point to Walky.

          • Undrave
            Undrave
            September 27, 2012 at 1:38 am | #

            Mike seems like he’s trying to cut down bullshit around him by being an asshole who points out all the problems with said bullshit.

            • Khrene
              Khrene
              September 27, 2012 at 3:11 pm | #

              Mike, Mother Fucker. Joe Puncher. Bullshit Lumberjack.

          • Tan
            Tan
            September 27, 2012 at 11:05 am | #

            If you think one of Mike’s plans has failed, you haven’t understood Mike’s plan. Either he’s already gotten what he wants out of it, it’s still moving toward what he wants, or, more often, both.

        • Icalasari
          Icalasari
          January 7, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

          PRETTY sure he’s chaotic neutral AKA a Force of Nature

          • fatemaster1
            fatemaster1
            June 18, 2014 at 5:12 am | #

            Bingo!

        • Saint
          Saint
          May 19, 2013 at 7:08 pm | #

          I believe Chaotic Neutral will do.

    • J
      J
      September 29, 2012 at 7:10 pm | #

      Here’s the thing about Mike; he’s an asshole, but he’s a *good* asshole. When it comes to saving someone’s life, he’ll be there. When it comes to tearing that person’s ego down, he’ll also be there. There are certain people he hangs around, if you haven’t noticed – it seems even though he hates people, there are people he finds more interesting than others. That’s always been true of Mike. He hates people, but he likes hating; if people die, there’s nothing left to hate, so he’s ultimately good for his own purposes. The fact in this case that Mike’s having fun hating on Ethan right now is part of it, but he’s also going to have fun when Joyce finds out Ethan’s gay. He cares about them in his own way, (otherwise he wouldn’t hang out with them) but still hates people and wants to see them squirm in their own webs. If that ultimately causes more good than harm, so be it. Therefore, my guess is that Mike is chaotic good.

      • J
        J
        September 29, 2012 at 7:16 pm | #

        Well, that’s part of it. If it turns out that drunk Mike is the real Mike deep down inside, then I got nothin’, but that would also make sense if he feels the need to be in control and stay in-character, as we saw in his wedding in Shortpacked, where he was grasping at straws to perpetuate his rep as an asshole.

  2. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    September 27, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    That’s Mike!

  3. a
    a
    September 27, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    and now I must say that her response will be quite exciting

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      September 27, 2012 at 10:47 am | #

      Agreed, because she’s a genuinely nice person (mostly) who has been forcefed the most toxic, vile glurge imaginable from birth. She has been told by her culture that these people are to be dealt with as criminals to be punished and forced to ‘repent’ or be destroyed; science and reality have told her that these people either have no choice (if she’s been taught that the attraction is the sin), or have been designed by God to be forced into unhappy and loveless lives, or to sin. It will be interesting to see how she tries to frame this without blaming either God or the victim.

      That or she’ll bore us by just telling us the standard fundy line. Which is possible; her approach to most other sexual issues is right on the fundy lines, with added punching.

  4. Aizat
    Aizat
    September 27, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    I think Mike is trying to break the news to Joyce without being to direct.

    • taekwondogirl
      taekwondogirl
      September 27, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

      Yes.

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      September 27, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

      And guilt Ethan into letting Joyce know the truth.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        September 27, 2012 at 12:31 am | #

        and be a dick.

        • JaneDoe
          JaneDoe
          September 27, 2012 at 1:18 am | #

          It’s win-win! 😛

        • Raoullefere
          Raoullefere
          September 27, 2012 at 2:27 am | #

          Aizat covered that with “Mike was.”

  5. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    September 27, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    I think everybody saw that coming seven words into the second panel.

  6. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    September 27, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    Nothing really. The people who wrote his book however…

    • Cave
      Cave
      September 27, 2012 at 12:14 am | #

      They weren’t a very accepting lot

      • Blob Marley
        Blob Marley
        September 27, 2012 at 12:57 am | #

        Appropriate gravatar, woo!

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      September 27, 2012 at 1:49 am | #

      …were magnificent bastards.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        September 27, 2012 at 10:31 am | #

        That’s giving them too much credit.

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      September 27, 2012 at 12:24 pm | #

      Actually, in the book, they say that two men cannot lay together. However, while there are quite a few restrictions for females, there is actually nothing in the book that says that they cannot lay together. An interesting dichotomy, and I’ll be interested to see how she replies.

  7. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    September 27, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    From what I recall from the Old Testament, it involves lots of fire and brimstone.

    • sd
      sd
      September 27, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

      From what I recall it only mentioned the temple prostitutes of other religions, and bi dudes.

      • Resne
        Resne
        September 27, 2012 at 1:06 am | #

        The only time it’s ever mentioned it’s using either
        1) The context of “lying with a man as you would with a woman” which at the time meant as if you owned him
        2) The Greek word arsenokoitai, which from what we can tell is closer to pedophile who sleeps with little boys
        3) People who are acting unnaturally toward their orientation

        There are a couple others, but yeah.

        • Raen
          Raen
          September 27, 2012 at 3:15 am | #

          Also, #1 may or may not be true, but if someone received a man’s semen in most Mediterranean cultures, he owned them. Consider the myth of Horus and Set from the Israelites’ friends down the coast.

          And #3 is pretty much nonsense. They didn’t realize at the time how rigid sexual orientation can be, and to the extent they did, wrote it off as an individual thing. (Insert Homestuck reference here.) They would pretty much have to be filled in on the developments of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries to even be made to understand what you’re saying, let alone to say it themselves, in any verbiage.

          • HiEv
            HiEv
            September 27, 2012 at 7:43 pm | #

            Further evidence Resne’s interpretation in #1 is wrong, Leviticus 20:13 (“If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman (etc.)”) is right between a line about a man sleeping with his daughter-in-law being punishable by death for both of them since it is a “perversion”, and a man marrying both a woman and her mother, where all three are to be “burned in the fire”. The same goes for most of the passages around Leviticus 18:22 as well.

            So, yeah, this isn’t talking about ownership, this is about dude-on-dude sex. For more see here.

            Interestingly, only one clear condemnation of lesbians in the Bible, in Romans 1:26-27.

            • Andiemus
              Andiemus
              September 29, 2012 at 2:49 am | #

              Of course, the bible is perfectly ok with incest several other times in the story, so take it’s position on sex with that in mind.

      • Raen
        Raen
        September 27, 2012 at 3:08 am | #

        Resne: #2 is a myth. The thing is, there is no “from what we can tell.” No one seems to have used the word before Paul, so there’s no more evidence that it means that than that it means anything else. That said, a literal translation is basically “manbedders,” (arsen = man, koiten = bed [for sex rather than sleep]) so absent any other evidence, a best guess would be that it means just what it sounds like.

        • sd
          sd
          September 27, 2012 at 1:06 pm | #

          So women may not be manbedders?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      September 27, 2012 at 1:21 am | #

      That was actually the name of Jesus’ 2nd band. Fire and Brimstone. The first was Jesus and the Twelve Apostles.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      September 27, 2012 at 1:50 am | #

      So what you’re saying is that all gay people are flaming?

    • Shivore
      Shivore
      September 27, 2012 at 7:02 am | #

      Actually what Joyce said is true even regarding homosexuality, God does accept you for all your faults no matter what you’ve done. That doesn’t mean once you come to Him you should continue in sin though. It’s one thing to accept and love, it’s another to actively condone and be okay with something.

      It’s a fine yet important distinction many seem to ignore. Something else that is ignored is that once you come to God He gives you strength to change your life…it’s unreasonable to expect anyone to change outside of that, especially something as ingrained as homosexuality.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        September 27, 2012 at 10:53 am | #

        Weird thing is, to some people the idea of somebody saying, “I really don’t mind that you’re a homo; but I’m going to send you to hell for it anyway” is cold comfort at best, and possibly makes it worse.

        And that’s not even getting to the part where God making you a homo (and then punishing you for it) was all a part of his plan from the start.

        • Wack'd
          Wack'd
          September 27, 2012 at 12:00 pm | #

          Joyce seems to think Dorothy is going to hell, as well.

  8. Bill Murphy
    Bill Murphy
    September 27, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

    Joyce’s foot in her mouth in
    5…
    4…
    3…
    2…

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 27, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

      She might rather have Ethan’s ‘foot’ if you know what I mean.

      • Wonder Wig
        Wonder Wig
        September 27, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

        Oddly enough I always pictured Ethan as large shoed.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          September 27, 2012 at 12:16 am | #

          If only that was true then the fact that I wear size 13 would be a good thing.

          • Ancestral Hamster
            Ancestral Hamster
            September 27, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

            How odd. I always though of Rei as petite.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              September 27, 2012 at 12:30 am | #

              Unless she is the giant glowing Rei, then she’ll need a size 130,000.

              • Yotomoe
                Yotomoe
                September 27, 2012 at 12:33 am | #

                My shoe size is infinite. I can only wear shoes you can’t even begin to comprehend.

                • GrrArg42
                  GrrArg42
                  September 27, 2012 at 12:46 am | #

                  My feeble mind is squished in comprehension of your giant footwear!

                • GrrArg42
                  GrrArg42
                  September 27, 2012 at 1:01 am | #

                  Oh my gosh, I JUST got what we were talking about.
                  “Ethan as large shoed”

      • Rognik
        Rognik
        September 27, 2012 at 12:30 pm | #

        Joyce has a foot fetish?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      September 27, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

      3…
      4…
      5…
      6…

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 27, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

      1…..
      0…..Oh no! *head explode*

      • GrrArg42
        GrrArg42
        September 27, 2012 at 12:59 am | #

        1…
        i…
        -1…
        -i…
        1…
        i…

        WEEEEEEEE!

  9. Joe H
    Joe H
    September 27, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

    Yes, that was totally non-sequitur and had no baring on anything at all, right Ethan?

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      September 27, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

      Nice gravitar!

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      September 27, 2012 at 12:31 pm | #

      He does look just as surprised by the last panel as Joyce is.

  10. Aizat
    Aizat
    September 27, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

    Believe it or not, I think DoA Mike is nicer than Shortpacked! Mike

    • GrrArg42
      GrrArg42
      September 27, 2012 at 12:48 am | #

      This was actually a perfect way to bring this up. Perfect setup by Joyce, perfect reply from Mike. Several characters could have had Mike’s line (say Amber), because it WAS Mike we assume he is being a dick, but this is as good a setup as this conversation can have.

    • lord of dance
      lord of dance
      September 27, 2012 at 10:22 am | #

      he just hasn’t had his chance to shine due to a combination of a larger cast, an incredibly drawn out time line, and the fact that college life has nothing on the rough and tumble kill or be killed world of toy retail

  11. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    September 27, 2012 at 12:07 am | #

    Thank you kindly Mike.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 27, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

      He’s a nice guy.

      • Raoullefere
        Raoullefere
        September 27, 2012 at 2:30 am | #

        As complete tools hellbent on feeding off the embarrassment and suffering of others go, yeah, he is.

  12. ThatRobedGuy
    ThatRobedGuy
    September 27, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

    This…will not end well.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 27, 2012 at 12:23 am | #

      When Mike’s involved, it never is.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      September 27, 2012 at 1:23 am | #

      fitting gravi?

  13. J
    J
    September 27, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

    Poor Ethan. For some reason I have this image of him as the official Groundhog’s Day groundhog, only instead of seeing his shadow, he has to come out of the closet. Looks like a few more weeks of winter, guys. So close, too!

  14. Ryan
    Ryan
    September 27, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

    I love you Mike.

    • Jim
      Jim
      September 27, 2012 at 4:13 am | #

      Queer! Abomination!

      • Rognik
        Rognik
        September 27, 2012 at 12:41 pm | #

        Two men can love each other without loving each other. Sheesh, people are overly sensitive these days to even the hint of homosexuality that they focus on virtually nothing but that.

        • Jim
          Jim
          September 27, 2012 at 3:53 pm | #

          I was just exaggerating! After all… I love you guys too! In fact, through in $5, and me love you long time!

          • Jim
            Jim
            September 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm | #

            oops… THROW

            (where is self edit on this blog??)

  15. Sensedog
    Sensedog
    September 27, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

    Mike was saving that hand grenade for just the right moment. He always seems to have a good sense of timing.

    • hmrc4evr
      hmrc4evr
      September 27, 2012 at 1:11 am | #

      So…considering the topic wouldn’t that make it a Holy hand grenade?

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        September 27, 2012 at 1:52 am | #

        Well, the counting of the numbers is five…

  16. GenericScreenName101
    GenericScreenName101
    September 27, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

    I wonder if Joyce is going to call her friend again wheb she tackles the nearest homosexual?

    • GenericScreenName101
      GenericScreenName101
      September 27, 2012 at 12:28 am | #

      *when (stupid fat fingers on tiny keyboard)

  17. J42
    J42
    September 27, 2012 at 12:29 am | #

    *BREAKS OUT THE POPCORN*

  18. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    September 27, 2012 at 12:33 am | #

    Exciting? Maybe. Hardly surprizing. “burn them all, abominations unto the Lord”…or maybe “they don’t exist, all in their head: they just need a good man/woman to show them the straight road’.

  19. Giant Speck
    Giant Speck
    September 27, 2012 at 12:34 am | #

    Ethan’s eyes and facial expression remind me of Stupid Fox.

  20. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    September 27, 2012 at 12:35 am | #

    Although come to think of it, I’m surprized Joyce knows the word, and its meaning?

    • JepMZ
      JepMZ
      September 27, 2012 at 6:36 am | #

      It’s tiring to hear the words “homosexuals”, “pornography”, and “abortion” in the catholic radio over and over regardless of context. I’m glad the family stopped tuning to the radio eventually.

  21. Leon
    Leon
    September 27, 2012 at 12:46 am | #

    Oooh, this is gonna be good!
    Mike’s a complete asshole, but damn do I love him!

  22. 3DSarge
    3DSarge
    September 27, 2012 at 1:02 am | #

    Mike non sequitured your mom.

  23. Mason
    Mason
    September 27, 2012 at 1:07 am | #

    It worries me that her answer is going to be on a Friday.

  24. derick
    derick
    September 27, 2012 at 1:23 am | #

    You know that quaint little Joyce that we all know and love? With the atheist hic-ups and the virginity flower that we could all laugh at and say “aww, you’re such a cute little fundie”? (ok, the virginity flower was pushing it). Remember her. Remember her fondly. This could very well be her last strip.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      September 27, 2012 at 1:54 am | #

      I’m really expecting the “love the sinner, hate the sin” route here.

    • Pat
      Pat
      September 27, 2012 at 1:55 am | #

      Joyce has already acknowledged carrying Chick tracts.

    • coobee
      coobee
      September 27, 2012 at 2:17 am | #

      MY FEARS. YOU VOICE THEM.

    • Raen
      Raen
      September 27, 2012 at 2:32 am | #

      She sings with glad heart of the day when avenging angels gather nearly everyone alive into a winepress and crush them into a cascade of blood running some meters high to a distance of 1600 Greek furlongs, that the angels might drink deep of YHWH’s fury. This, to her, is perfect love, perfect peace. And homophobia’s the deal breaker?

    • Andrusi
      Andrusi
      September 27, 2012 at 9:34 am | #

      Nah, she’ll be fine after a reboot.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        September 27, 2012 at 10:50 am | #

        Or a month passes (our time). Who here remembers that Joyce is a crazy psycho who punches people for just looking at other women? Anybody? No? There you go.

        • Wack'd
          Wack'd
          September 27, 2012 at 11:58 am | #

          I do! And her telling Sarah to apologize pissed me right the hell off.

          I mean, Sarah should apologize, and Joyce is right in a “two wrongs” way, but it’s pretty hypocritical of her.

  25. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    September 27, 2012 at 1:29 am | #

    Oh, this is gonna be fun.

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      September 27, 2012 at 1:12 pm | #

      Welcome to Cognitive Dissonance Theater, with your host Mike Warner. Our special guest today is Joyce Brown.

  26. Aristophanes
    Aristophanes
    September 27, 2012 at 1:53 am | #

    While she “tackles” that, Mike’s gonna be “tackling” her mom. For a nickel.

  27. Scot
    Scot
    September 27, 2012 at 1:59 am | #

    well, somebody better answer that phone…

    • AJBulldis
      AJBulldis
      September 27, 2012 at 4:23 am | #

      Because I’m not the only one who watched DBZ Abridged?

      • Scot
        Scot
        September 27, 2012 at 4:38 am | #

        ^the comment I was hoping for.

  28. Raen
    Raen
    September 27, 2012 at 2:22 am | #

    …Joyce is the only straight person on this sidewalk, isn’t she?

    • Jim
      Jim
      September 27, 2012 at 4:10 am | #

      as far as she knows so far… but she hasn’t reached the “2 Drinks From Her First Lesbian Experience” stage yet. 😀

      • Rognik
        Rognik
        September 27, 2012 at 2:38 pm | #

        I thought that was her default state. ie. she is just two drinks away from having a lesbian experience.

        • Jim
          Jim
          September 27, 2012 at 3:56 pm | #

          I don’t think that is HER default state. HER default state is probably 2 drinks away from her first masturbation experience!!

    • Descolada
      Descolada
      September 27, 2012 at 10:55 am | #

      I was under the impression Mike is bisexual. of course this is from shortpacked mike, and might not apply to this universe’s Mike.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        September 27, 2012 at 11:51 am | #

        Mike is whatever you don’t want him to be.

      • Raen
        Raen
        September 27, 2012 at 12:13 pm | #

        Exactly – the same is true of Sierra.

      • Aydr
        Aydr
        September 27, 2012 at 6:52 pm | #

        Willis said nobody’s changing sexuality, so if Mike really is Bi then he will be in this comic too.

        • Raen
          Raen
          September 27, 2012 at 7:48 pm | #

          Then our dear cute, barefoot Christian hippie must be as well…

          This should be FUN.

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          September 27, 2012 at 9:04 pm | #

          Mike didn’t have sex with men because he liked it or them; he had sex with them because somebody *didn’t* want him to. So we don’t know that he’s bi; we merely know that he has priorities that transcend his own sexuality.

          • Aydr
            Aydr
            September 27, 2012 at 11:08 pm | #

            Exactly. For all we know he’s not even attracted to women at all, just the darkness lurking in the heart of Amber.

  29. Random832
    Random832
    September 27, 2012 at 2:32 am | #

    I’m thinking her reaction means she realizes – from knowing Mike – that the question can only mean someone present is gay.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      September 27, 2012 at 10:38 am | #

      What are you talking about? Mike is just a nice friendly man who helps her deal with those nasty people who traffic in premarital hanky panky.

      Honestly it’s surprising she hasn’t hit on him yet.

    • Aydr
      Aydr
      September 27, 2012 at 7:43 pm | #

      Maybe. Possibly she thinks Mike is gay.

      Let’s just hope she doesn’t start talking about how noble it is to repress your homosexuality.

  30. Wixvhen
    Wixvhen
    September 27, 2012 at 3:06 am | #

    From my knowledge, God’s view of sexuality is against it, but still accepts the person regardless. Kinda like that parent who loves ya even if they’re kinda disappointed.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      September 27, 2012 at 10:41 am | #

      And by ‘loves you’, we mean, ‘gives you a one-way ticket to hell and a push out the door’.

      • Wixvhen
        Wixvhen
        September 27, 2012 at 12:40 pm | #

        Not really, no. It’s not even mentioned in the ten commandments, which shows that while it is frowned upon, it’s not even considered one of the big ten rules of ‘dos’ and ‘do nots’. Yes it’s wrong in the bible, but it’s not even comparable to the mentioned ones like murdering, stealing, lies, coveting what others have, or adultery.

        And on that note, I should mention pretty much everybody has broken one of the ten at least once in their life, and some even spend their life performing one of the ten (7-9) but are still devoutly religious.

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          September 27, 2012 at 3:39 pm | #

          Given that we’re talking about your theological beliefs, I will immediately concede that I was wrong (and foolish to asy anything about them).

          Joyce’s belief system may differ, of course.

          • zach
            zach
            September 28, 2012 at 12:23 am | #

            You admitted you where wrong anonymously on the Internet? You even did it in full sentences. How is this website the only informal chat room I can find with adults?

          • Wixvhen
            Wixvhen
            September 28, 2012 at 3:16 pm | #

            You’re right too actually, I was just assuming it was regular ol’ christianity. Alot of branches of it have different views of different things, some of them even DESPISING things that aren’t even in the bible, while others are accepting of things that are described in the bible as being wrong in every way.

  31. Aydr
    Aydr
    September 27, 2012 at 4:08 am | #

    MIKE! Sleep with him already, Mike.

    • Dr.Z
      Dr.Z
      September 27, 2012 at 5:43 am | #

      Mike is whatever you don’t want him to be.

      So if you want Mike/Ethan slash, you much force yourself to NOT WANT IT!

      It’s kinda cool, in a meta sort of way. 😉

  32. Jim
    Jim
    September 27, 2012 at 4:08 am | #

    She’s going to tackle THAT “Non sequitur” – when she hasn’t even dealt with her own issues on the HORRID, EVIL, TREE OF KNOWLEDGE?!?

  33. Arturo
    Arturo
    September 27, 2012 at 6:23 am | #

    Oooh, and he goes straight for the knock-out!

  34. ping
    ping
    September 27, 2012 at 8:20 am | #

    Now set up some Dorothy/Walky tension and you’ll have three unsolved storylines at once. On a friday.

  35. Martigro
    Martigro
    September 27, 2012 at 11:24 am | #

    I love you, Mike. I’m also terrified of you.

  36. Charles RB
    Charles RB
    September 27, 2012 at 1:23 pm | #

    Mike, you’re a legend

  37. avstron
    avstron
    September 27, 2012 at 1:46 pm | #

    Come on, Joyce! Come up with a surprisingly open-minded opinion. You are a smart girl!
    (Unlikely, I know)

  38. SeanNOLA
    SeanNOLA
    September 27, 2012 at 2:14 pm | #

    “”

    • SeanNOLA
      SeanNOLA
      September 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm | #

      *sigh* That was supposed to say “Rule #5” but I got too clever for my own good and put it in html brackets. Shame on me!

  39. Ray
    Ray
    September 27, 2012 at 2:52 pm | #

    God loves homosexuals too.

    Some church leader types try to twist this out into God loves homosexuals but disapproves if they actually do same-sex banging. Other church leader types just go straight out to claiming that God hates homosexuals. Then the anti-church leader types use this to feed their “religion is evil/god doesn’t exist” talk.

    But I can say that God loves homosexuals the same as he loves anyone else, and nobody can prove me wrong.

    • Jim
      Jim
      September 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm | #

      How do Church Leaders feel about heteros that go to church just looking for frustrated MILFs to meet and hook up with during the week, which assures said MILF will be back on Sat/Sun (with cash!) seeking forgiveness (and possibly another go-round!) ??

      Not that I’m thinking about checking out the local churches for that kind of thing (cough…!). Of course not!

      • wednesday
        wednesday
        September 27, 2012 at 4:47 pm | #

        Yeah, they’re none too fond of it. I remember attending a church which would have had great potential if the adult Sunday school classes weren’t effectively serving as a singles bar without the booze. I think I stopped going one or two weeks after the sermon was “will you guys talk about the Bible instead of trying to hook up all the time already; GAH.”

        (I only popped in on a class once, since it turned out no one there had the time of day for a fat, poor, kinda ragged girl in her early twenties.)

  40. begbert2
    begbert2
    September 27, 2012 at 3:52 pm | #

    It just occurred to me that we never saw Joyce drag Dorothy to church! (Or Sal and Jason’s study date.) We have missed out!

    Though Dorothy seems to still be around, so we at least know that someone else was picked for the weekly atheist sacrifice.

    • David
      David M Willis
      September 27, 2012 at 4:25 pm | #

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/sierra/

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        September 27, 2012 at 8:58 pm | #

        Blast my early-onset senility! (I’m not even forty!)

        In my defense, uh, nobody was murdered? Oh! And there were distracting sexytimes happening simultaneousynchonously! (And we saw that Amber’s hand was hurt by punching a door, proving she’s not Amazi-Girl.)

        Ah, I give up. At least I’m pretty sure I didn’t forget that study session. (Right?)

  41. Jim
    Jim
    September 27, 2012 at 4:09 pm | #

    My first exposure to Fundies – was at Spencers Gift/Gag Store. Fundies were a thin, transparent panty with red licorice lace at the waste, meant to be worn. Being EDIBLE underwear, they were meant to be eaten before eating!

    You can imagine my joy in learning that whole sections of the USA were considered “Fundies States” – until I later learned what it really meant.

  42. HelenKellersDog
    HelenKellersDog
    September 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm | #

    Sometimes I hate Mike. Sometimes I love Mike.

    …This is the time that I love Mike.

  43. LiC
    LiC
    September 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm | #

    Well, this will certainly be an interesting response. While Joyce has a habit of saying the wrong thing, she’s never been actively malicious about it. So it’ll be interesting to see how she handles this. I could see her doing the whole “Love the sinner, hate the sin” thing you see a lot of people do when they don’t want to come off as hateful jerks, but still disapprove of homosexuality.

  44. JA
    JA
    September 29, 2012 at 9:39 am | #

    Oh shi-

  45. Hanii Puppy
    Hanii Puppy
    May 1, 2014 at 11:59 pm | #

    I’ve just realised. Historically, throughout Roomies, It’s Walky!, Walky and Joyce, and Shortpacked!, Mike has been an arsehole because that’s just who he is, and enjoys simply screwing with people. But everything we’ve seen him do in DoA, while in-character for original-mike, has been arseholery in the process of doing (what is in his eyes) good things.

    He didn’t try to screw up Walky’s relationship just to be a dick to Walky, but because he’s rooming with Walky and has learned through first-hand experience that Walky is insufferable and he’d be saving anyone from torture by blocking his relationships.

    Now he’s trying to save Ethan and Joyce from prolonging a potentially catastrophic relationship based on lies.

  46. Onion
    Onion
    April 27, 2016 at 10:27 pm | #

    Good one, Mike.

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609982... selling my LG34 Mindwipe, minus Servant
header image - Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete | eBay
Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many pro...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Menace Level: up to date on his vaccinations
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned Gran is back from the grave so she can jerk it to furry porn with her daughter
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609184... 5 hours left on my 4-jet titans return tidal wave
header image - Transformers Siege on Cybertron Titans Return Tidal Wave incomplete, restickered | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers Siege on Cybertron Titans Return Tidal Wave incomplete, restickered | eBay
Check out those stickers. They make him look pretty great, actually. That aircraft carrier mode shines. Tidal Wave is loose and incomplete! So there's only four (4) jets!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
confirming that the reason there's been no Galaxy Version female characters in Blokees until now is that they felt they needed to make Round Lady Thighs For Ladies
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "For you" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
For you
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
y'know there's not an awful lot of rocketeering in The Rocketeer
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