Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
RSS
‹
›
  • Home
  • About/Read before posting
  • Archive↓
    • by calendar
  • Cast
  • Store↓
    • Main Store (books and stuff)
    • T-shirts
  • Patreon↓
    • Patreon (regular)
    • Patreon (NSFW)
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
so they asked me, hey, if you're updating all seven days a week, how do you do cliffhangers?  EXPECTIN' MORE SAL TODAY EHH???
First Previous Random 476Comments Share Next Latest
Reddit Digg Facebook MySpace Delicious Stumbleupon Buzz Up! Mixx Technorati Google Bookmarks Yahoo Bookmarks Yahoo MyWeb Windows Live Propeller FriendFeed Newsvine Xanga LinkedIn Blinklist Twitter
Discover more Hiveworks comics
Sister Claire
Yamino
In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
Edison Rex
Chris Roberson
The adventures of the world’s greatest villain who, after defeating his superheroic nemesis, decides that he’s the only one left to defend the world.
ARISE, YE SKELETON KING
Brian Clevinger, Escher Cattle, Lee Black
A troupe of wandering "adventurers" down to their last silver "acquire" a map only to find the real treasure was the fiend they dug up along the way.
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Namesake
Isa, Meg
There's ghosts at your heels and fairy tale worlds ahead. What do you do? Jump down the rabbit hole!
Heroes of Thantopolis
Izzy Strontium Hall
A living boy fights to save the City of the Dead.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
The Messenger
indui
In a ruin-abound town cursed with bad luck, Kai and Kalla--a young boy and a fledgling dragonbird spirit--take on a quest in hopes the reward will solve all of their problems.
Angel's Orchard
Harry Bogosian
After the events in Demon's Mirror, Gerda has accepted her role as a Demon Hunter, and Cezar has traveled back to the Demon City. Demons have existed alongside humans for millennia, so things begin to return to normal. But an impossibly powerful Relic has been taken by one of the Demon Masters, and a silent war enters its final stages.
Ozzie the Vampire
Eric Lide
Ozzie and her best friend Kimmy are your average everyday normal art students – except one is an immortal vampire with superpowers and the other possesses a magic talking grimoire. Also they have to save their town from a demonic invasion.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Darkling Bright
Chris Hazelton
Kieran Bright is a college student home for the summer and roped into an online reunion with his old neighborhood friends in the most recent update of their favorite childhood MMORPG. At least, he was, and that was the idea... Join Kieran and his friends as they are pulled into another reality that may or may not be real and are forced to confront their own identities, the nature of simulated universes and reality itself.
The Weave
Rennie Kingsley
A young woman pursued by bad luck is witness to the murder of the Fairy Queen of Summer. Can she get to the bottom of this mystery?
Lies Within
Lacey
Lysander's aimless and carefree life is turned upside down when he accidentally discovers that the cute boy next door, Simon, is a literal monster
Novae
KaiJu
A historical romance with a touch magic and a dash of astronomy. It chronicles the romantic adventures of Sulvain, a sweet tempered necromancer and Raziol, a passionate 17th century astronomer.
Little Tiny Things
Clover
What are the little things that move us? The simple joys that warm our bodies and hearts? The micro life of insects that influence our world more than we think? The tiny steps we make everyday to have a happier tomorrow?
Peritale
Mari Costa
A fairy godmother with no magic tries her best to successfully fulfill a Fairytale and win the respect of her peers.
The Golden Boar
Magnolia Porter Siddell
A young woman joins a group of summoners who call forth Guardian Beasts to protect their isolated magical island. Unfortunately, her Guardian Beast is nothing like she'd imagined, and he's about to change her life, and everything she thought she knew about herself...
Saint for Rent
Ru Xu
Saint Halliday runs an inn for Time Travelers. Unfortunately, he seems to attract other supernatural "guests," too.
Nigh Heaven & Hell
Scotty
Heather Vodihn is on a simple mission: find her father. However she becomes entangled with two strangers with mysterious powers being stalked by a group with bizarre demands. Heather must learn to trust her new traveling companions, even if she is untrustworthy herself.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Barbarous
Ananth Hirsh, Yuko Ota
A crummy wizard and an anxious monster have to get over themselves and bring order to an apartment building full of misfits.
Monster's Garden
Ash G.
Champion pit fighter Kilo Monster was content to spend the rest of his days tending to his quiet garden alone... until he met a curious robot girl and her human family.
Sleepless Domain
Mary Cagle (Cube Watermelon)
In a world where magical girls and their battles are commonplace, loss has become all too common as well.
Blindsprings
Kadi Fedoruk
Tamaura, wrested into a world 300 years in the future, must find a way to save the magic fading from her country.
Three Panel Soul
Matt Boyd, Ian McConville
It's a pretty rigid format but we keep the content loose, you know?
Freakshow
Scotty
A festival of broken people, blood flows in the center ring. Come one and come all, to the greatest show in all of Paris.
Sakana
Mad Rupert
Our heroes must navigate a hazardous dating scene, overcome personal anxieties, and wrangle unruly seafood in order to find love, peace of mind, and a paycheck.
Not Drunk Enough
Tess Stone
Logan Ibarra is possibly the unluckiest repairman in the world. A late night job should not have landed him in the middle of a mad scientist's squabble, but he soon finds himself surrounded by monsters and further madness with little tools to get out.
Augustine
Winter Jay Kiakas, Windy
August and her ragtag group are just like everyone else, simply surviving in the treacherous Crater... When they stumble into what may be an artifact of the ancient past, their lives are thrown into a much bigger loop as they trifle with bounty hunters, monsters and gods.
BOOKMARK
Click "Tag Page" to bookmark a page. When you return to the site, click "Goto Tag" to continue where you left off.
Goto TagClear Tag


BUFFER WATCH Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:

May 12, 2026

Refurbished

by David M Willis on August 16, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Just Hangin' Out With My Family
└ Tags: amber, blaine, dina, faz

Discussion (476) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. thecanvashat
    thecanvashat
    August 16, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    Faz hid that grappling hook there, didn’t he?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 16, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      It’s Dina. She uses it to get around unnoticed.

      How did you think she got behind those doors without anyone seeing her? She grapples up to the roof, crawls through the ducts, and drops down unseen.

      The Sorayama clan are all master ninjas.

      • Aulayan
        Aulayan
        August 16, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        Oh my god…DINA IS AMAZI-GIRL! Wow. I did not have that in the pool.

        • thecanvashat
          thecanvashat
          August 16, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          It’s actually Dina’s hat that is Amazigirl.

          • The Candyman
            The Candyman
            August 16, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

            Joyce’s hat is it’s archnemesis.

            • thecanvashat
              thecanvashat
              August 16, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

              Joyce’s Hat: Oh, you. You just couldn’t let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable hat meets an immovable hat. You truly are unstainable, aren’t you? You won’t kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
              Dina’s hat: You’ll be on Joyce’s head forever.

              • The Candyman
                The Candyman
                August 16, 2013 at 1:03 am | #

                “Hey. Hey Joyce.”
                “What? Who’s there? God?”
                “Yeah, sure, why not. Now listen carefully: take Sarah’s bat, and bash Dorothy’s head in.”

                • ocbrad1
                  ocbrad1
                  August 16, 2013 at 10:28 am | #

                  This thread wins an internet today!

                • ProjectXa3
                  ProjectXa3
                  August 16, 2013 at 11:56 am | #

                  BAHAHAHA!

                • BlueRam
                  BlueRam
                  August 16, 2013 at 3:50 pm | #

                  “W-who ARE you?!”

                  “I’m Hatman.”

                • GoSpeedRumpist
                  GoSpeedRumpist
                  August 16, 2013 at 3:51 pm | #

                  Plot twist: Joyce’s hat is secretly controlled by her parents.

  2. KingMabel
    KingMabel
    August 16, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Yea, this will not end well….

    • Squall
      Squall
      August 16, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      I think something irreversible may happen. Like The Saruyamas consuming Faz while he is still alive. And he will enjoy it.

      • Frogboy
        Frogboy
        August 16, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

        “Faz understands that your systematic devouring of him indicates your overwhelming lust for his body, and looks forward to the moment when I fully satiate you.”

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 16, 2013 at 12:56 am | #

          “Is this what the internet reffered to as ‘Eating out’? Faz believed he was to do this to the ladies, but Faz must have been mistaken”

    • thecanvashat
      thecanvashat
      August 16, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Everybody gets a free Ferrari, and everyone is happy. BUT JOYCE’S GETS A FLAT TIRE!

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        And you get a flat tire! And you get a flat tire! Everybody gets a flat tire!

        • RevenantBacon
          RevenantBacon
          August 16, 2013 at 3:35 am | #

          OH BOY! MY FAVORITE!

    • David
      David
      August 16, 2013 at 4:57 am | #

      It’s turtles all the way down.

  3. JebJeb
    JebJeb
    August 16, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Show him how the grappling hook works. Just be sure to put it point blank into his eye.

    • JBO
      JBO
      August 16, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      I bet Amber has read Watchmen. Hence she knows how Rorschach uses his grappling hook.

      • thecanvashat
        thecanvashat
        August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        But Rorschach gets caught…

      • broughtlight
        broughtlight
        August 16, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        College dorm room closets rarely have a built-in secret compartment to hide your grappling hook and various other Comedian-style gear.

        • Squall
          Squall
          August 16, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          I think I should sleep. I tried to read your comment and all I saw was

          “College Dom nom nom”

          • JBO
            JBO
            August 16, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

            College dom nom nom is what Walky does with natchitos.

            • Squall
              Squall
              August 16, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

              It’s also what Ruth wants to do to Billie.

            • Endest
              Endest
              August 16, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

              Heavy weapons guy approves.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          August 16, 2013 at 3:00 pm | #

          Yea, those rooms cost extra, she couldn’t afford it.

          • Elva Rodríguez
            Elva Rodríguez
            August 16, 2013 at 6:08 pm | #

            Her father couldn’t afford it.

      • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        August 16, 2013 at 12:23 pm | #

        And what he does to the fingers of guys like Amber’s Korean mob goon dad…

    • gangler
      gangler
      August 16, 2013 at 12:48 am | #

      I’m pretty sure she just has the standard hook on a rope to be thrown without the aid of a launching apparatus.

      • JebJeb
        JebJeb
        August 16, 2013 at 9:11 am | #

        Well then that makes it even easier to “demonstrate” to him!

  4. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    August 16, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Oddly enough, it always takes adversity to build character. Amber’s standing up for herself. Dina’s expressing herself.

    • thecanvashat
      thecanvashat
      August 16, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Faz is… Faz.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        August 16, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

        Faz is standing up for Dina.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 16, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

          Faz stands up for everyone, if you catch my meanin’

          • Prickly
            Prickly
            August 16, 2013 at 3:18 am | #

            Pity Faz isn’t Japanese. There’s an old Japanese adage: The nail that sticks out gets hammered down. If you catch my meanin’.

            • RevenantBacon
              RevenantBacon
              August 16, 2013 at 3:37 am | #

              This is getting akward. If you catch my meanin’.

            • Andrusi
              Andrusi
              August 16, 2013 at 10:23 am | #

              I think a lot of people are going to get hammered after this.

              • The Candyman
                The Candyman
                August 16, 2013 at 11:50 am | #

                You have to be hammered just to deal with Faz.

                • Heimdall
                  Heimdall
                  August 16, 2013 at 6:48 pm | #

                  I’m not sure even Billy could get -that- hammered.

                • TPman
                  TPman
                  August 16, 2013 at 11:05 pm | #

                  No, you have to hammer Faz to deal with him. I’d use a jackhammer myself.

    • AJBulldis
      AJBulldis
      August 16, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      Hmm…does it take adversity to build up character, or is it only during adversity that one’s true character shines forth?

      • vsophi
        vsophi
        August 16, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

        Are they mutually exclusive?

        • Mr. Random
          Mr. Random
          August 16, 2013 at 1:40 am | #

          Probably not. Understanding what you’d do in the situation you were just in helps you to understand what you’d do in the situation you were just in. Your reaction to how you reacted helps to form who you want to become.
          … I think that all checks out.

          • AJBulldis
            AJBulldis
            August 16, 2013 at 3:53 am | #

            Yes, but it’s not the adversity itself that is strengthening your character. If you persevere, then you can reinforce your strength, and if you are found wanting, then you can take the time to shore up your weaknesses. This, however, can’t happen during the adversity.

            In Amber’s case, growing up with a father like Blaine would not make her strong (which we clearly see in Shortpacked). It wasn’t until she was removed from that situation that she could start to strengthen herself.

            • Shade
              Shade
              August 16, 2013 at 10:07 am | #

              While your argument is true, this is not exact same situation. Amber from Shortpacked! grew up lacking in any self-confidence. DOA’s Amber has been stated to have grown up with anger issues, and anger always makes one more likely to stand up for one’s self than lack of confidence.

      • Nobodez
        Nobodez
        August 16, 2013 at 11:17 am | #

        Well, if not for adversity, how else are you supposed to get XP?

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          August 16, 2013 at 11:51 am | #

          Dude’s right. There don’t seem to be many fetch quests in IU.

          • Heimdall
            Heimdall
            August 16, 2013 at 6:49 pm | #

            Lots of dialog though. Especially in classes. You have to keep mashing that A button repeatedly.

  5. Anna1090
    Anna1090
    August 16, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Oh, God. And so it begins.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 16, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      I know. I had no hope this situation wouldn’t be bad, but… Auuuuugh. *Shudders*

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 16, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        The Eye of the Shitnado has passed! Prepare for the second barrage!

        • thecanvashat
          thecanvashat
          August 16, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

          And one guy gets tackled into a manhole by Wolverine.

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 16, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

            Then Wolverine carries them through the sewer while singing.

  6. AHR
    AHR
    August 16, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Dina’s parents: DO SOMETHING.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      August 16, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      They are allowing him to remain focussed on Amber so he won’t see when they attack him from the sides.

      • thecanvashat
        thecanvashat
        August 16, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        Clever Girl…

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          August 16, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

          I’ve long wanted someone to make an animation of that scene with Dina’s head pasted over the raptor’s.

          • Somebody
            Somebody
            August 16, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

            I just want people to portray their size accurately for once. There’s also no evidence that they were packhunters.

            • The Candyman
              The Candyman
              August 16, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

              Technically no, but plenty of birds and reptiles come together at various times, even they aren’t like wolf packs.

            • timemonkey
              timemonkey
              August 16, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

              Does it really matter? They’re long dead.

              • drakeye
                drakeye
                August 16, 2013 at 5:33 am | #

                they arnt dead they just became roomies with Elvis…and the dodo bird

              • The Candyman
                The Candyman
                August 16, 2013 at 11:51 am | #

                It matters to paleontology nerds.

            • HEYOUGUYZ!
              HEYOUGUYZ!
              August 16, 2013 at 12:35 pm | #

              Maybe we can explain it thusly:

              The Jurassic Park engineers, in mistakenly engineering giant raptors, made a terrible mistake. An awesome terrible mistake. How could Dr. Grant be wrong too? Anyone dumb enough to take John Hammond’s word for anything can’t be right that often. There. Problem solved.

              An awesome mistake.

      • Wonder Wig
        Wonder Wig
        August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        It’s the parents you don’t see coming that get you.

    • VizardJeffhog
      VizardJeffhog
      August 16, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Amber’s mom: PICK UP THE PACE

      • xain
        xain
        August 16, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        if you can’t hurry make sure to bring some rugs with you for the bodies

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 16, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

        Look, she’s getting Joe’d as fast as she can. Joe’s dad can’t Joe as fast as Joe.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        August 16, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

        Can’t rush a good schtupping.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 16, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

        There is an art to love making. You can’t just rush it. LOVE HAS NO TIME LIMIT.

    • Frogboy
      Frogboy
      August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      They are doing something. Staring counts as something.

    • mooslug
      mooslug
      August 16, 2013 at 11:59 am | #

      They are standing behind the door

      • mooslug
        mooslug
        August 16, 2013 at 12:01 pm | #

        Aw, wait, oops…They are visible behind Blaine earlier.

  7. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    August 16, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Hold on just a few more seconds you two the teleporter is almost ready!

    • thecanvashat
      thecanvashat
      August 16, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Beam me up, Dr. Rosenthal.

      “Can’t you wait? I’m kinda busy!”

  8. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    August 16, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Amber, tell him to FUCK OFF!!!!
    A nice sucker punch would be nice as well

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 16, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

      I don’t think that’d work…pretty sure that’d just make him mad.

      • RevenantBacon
        RevenantBacon
        August 16, 2013 at 3:39 am | #

        But it would make her feel oohhh so good.

        • JebJeb
          JebJeb
          August 16, 2013 at 9:20 am | #

          Up until he retaliated. Walkyverse Blaine wasn’t adverse to hitting Amber. So a sucker punch to the face will quite likely be countered with a sucker punch of his own.

          Of course we can’t be sure if he’d actually be stupid enough to do it where there are witnesses.

    • noisyparker
      noisyparker
      August 16, 2013 at 4:39 pm | #

      Amber and her father have a history, and her responses will all be shaped by that. Perfectly reasonable stuff she would say to a stranger that was being an illogical powertripper won’t be one of the natural response choices when dealing with her dad. By the same token, his reaction to a challenge from someone he thinks is a member of that extremely tiny segment of humanity that he can get away with dominating would be different than the way he would react to others.

      Shame, too, since he is crazy full of openings since he doesn’t think he needs to protect himself. I will be extremely glad when he flounces off back to his hole… he pisses me off with each word balloon he gets and that is such a waste, since he is, in any objective sense, a powerless and pathetic nonentity. Amber can’t be objective about this, though. 🙁

  9. VizardJeffhog
    VizardJeffhog
    August 16, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    PUNCHIN’ TIME

  10. Frogboy
    Frogboy
    August 16, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Okay, Dina, make like your idol Troodon and tear his throat out. You’ve got the savage grimace, you’re halfway there.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      August 16, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Saurornithoides mongoliensis. Why does everyone keep confusing him with Troodon? I bet Dina doesn’t appreciate it.

      • Frogboy
        Frogboy
        August 16, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Saurornithoides mongoliensis needs a snappier name. Imma call him “Sauromon”.

      • JBO
        JBO
        August 16, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        As I said yesterday they are troodontids. So the confusion isn’t so bad.

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          August 16, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

          Still, it’s kind of like calling a Colombian a Mexican.

          • JBO
            JBO
            August 16, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

            Naw it’s more like calling a Nicaraguan a Belizian.

            • Frogboy
              Frogboy
              August 16, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

              It’s like calling a Canadian an American, except less likely to get you mauled.

            • Kiggy
              Kiggy
              August 16, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

              Or calling a Puerto Rican Cuban.

              No offense to my Cuban bros and sis.

              • VZG
                VZG
                August 16, 2013 at 11:24 pm | #

                There’s only one woman in Cuba?

  11. xain
    xain
    August 16, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    looks at caption test … well played willis

  12. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    August 16, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    What are you talking about Willis? Sal’s right here!

    • Andrusi
      Andrusi
      August 16, 2013 at 10:25 am | #

      OH MY GOD, AMBER IS SAL?

  13. MajesticSpaceBen
    MajesticSpaceBen
    August 16, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Cheesus, Walkyverse Blaine was a lousy father, but now the guy’s a colossal asshole to boot!

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      Dude was an asshole back in the Walkyverse too. In fact, he was a bigger one there.

      • James
        James
        August 16, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        He was CONFIRMED to be a bigger asshole there, anyway. It’s entirely possible he was physically abusive in the Dumbiverse, too, even aside from the verbal and emotional abuse going on here.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 16, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

          Yep. We know he’s an asshole, but the extent to his assholishness is up in the air for now.

          • Regalli
            Regalli
            August 16, 2013 at 10:31 am | #

            That said, the implication in the earlier comic mentioning Blaine was that he had left them, not the other way around, possibly of his own volition.

            If that’s the case, he may well be marginally less of an asshole than he was in the old universe. … Seriously, him up and leaving their lives strikes me as loads better than what he did to Amber and Stacy in the Walkyverse. At the very least, it was probably a factor in Amber being as comparatively emotionally stable here from the start as she is.

          • ocbrad1
            ocbrad1
            August 16, 2013 at 10:38 am | #

            Personally, I’ve always preferred the term “bastarditude.” As referenced in TG here: http://www.treadingground.com/?p=329

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      We barely met him, but the implication was that Walkyverse Blaine was a total asshole, too.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 16, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

        Walkyverse Blaine was exponentially an asshole from what we’ve seen thus far.

  14. Maxy
    Maxy
    August 16, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    I’m just waiting for the rest of the Sorayamas to attack. Pleeeeaaaase?

    • Kiggy
      Kiggy
      August 16, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Wouldn’t it be so cool if the Saruyamas were closet ninjas?

      Or maybe Okâsan is the ninja and Otôsan is a closet samurai!

      BANZAI!!!

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 16, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

        I don’t want Dina to be a closeted ninja!

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          August 16, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

          She should be Out and proud.

        • JBO
          JBO
          August 16, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

          DINA ISN’T IN THE CLOSET!
          She is behind the door!

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 16, 2013 at 1:02 am | #

          If the fact that you’re a ninja isn’t a secret then you’re doing it wrong.

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 16, 2013 at 9:27 am | #

            It’s not the ninja that hides. For the ninja creates closets in plain sight.

      • JBO
        JBO
        August 16, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

        They can’t be ninjas. We already saw them.

        • thecanvashat
          thecanvashat
          August 16, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

          THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK.

        • Kiggy
          Kiggy
          August 16, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

          D’OH!

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 16, 2013 at 1:02 am | #

          Ninja’s can hide in plain sight.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        August 16, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

        Know what Dr. McNinja’s parents look like under their masks? YOU DO NOW!

        • The Weird Guy
          The Weird Guy
          August 16, 2013 at 6:18 am | #

          Can’t be. Where’s the mustache of Authority? You can’t shave that thing off. It would take a superhuman to even pluck off a hair!

          • The Candyman
            The Candyman
            August 16, 2013 at 11:54 am | #

            The mustache is a ninja as well.

    • JBO
      JBO
      August 16, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      All asians know martial arts. Its an unwritten rule of fiction.

      • Kiggy
        Kiggy
        August 16, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

        Yup

        http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllAsiansKnowMartialArts

        • AgentKeen
          AgentKeen
          August 16, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

          Wait, doesn’t that mean it’s written?

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 16, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

            IT IS WRITTEN

            • JBO
              JBO
              August 16, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

              It is known.

              • Squall
                Squall
                August 16, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

                It is law

                • thecanvashat
                  thecanvashat
                  August 16, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

                  I AM THE LAW!

                • JBO
                  JBO
                  August 16, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

                  I AM BATMAN!

                • Frogboy
                  Frogboy
                  August 16, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

                  I AM VENGEANCE!

                • Rex Hondo
                  Rex Hondo
                  August 16, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

                  I AM CORNHOLIO!!!

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  August 16, 2013 at 1:02 am | #

                  I AM MEGATRON!!!

                • Megatron
                  Megatron
                  August 16, 2013 at 1:43 am | #

                  Excuse me? At best you’re NBE-2.

                • RevenantBacon
                  RevenantBacon
                  August 16, 2013 at 3:42 am | #

                  I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT! I. AM. DARKWING DUCK!!!!!!

                • Sailor_Arashi
                  Sailor_Arashi
                  August 16, 2013 at 6:00 am | #

                  I AM SPARTACUS!

                • Drunken Nordmann
                  Drunken Nordmann
                  August 16, 2013 at 7:12 am | #

                  I AM YOUR FATHER!

                • VZG
                  VZG
                  August 16, 2013 at 11:26 pm | #

                  AND I’M HIS BEST FRIEND JESUS!

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            August 16, 2013 at 3:08 pm | #

            Quiet you!

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        August 16, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        I knew an asian dude in college who swore he once scared off a mugger by dropping into a phony kung-fu pose.

        Personally I think he was full of shit, but the image amuses me, especially since he was about 5’7” and 40 pounds overweight.

        • Kiggy
          Kiggy
          August 16, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

          http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Acrofatic

        • David
          David
          August 16, 2013 at 5:25 am | #

          Once in a train I apprehended a noisy drunk getting on everyone’s nerves with singing, vulgar talk etc etc at top level. After I told him to shut up and turned around, he started right again, so I pushed him into his seat with my arm across his throat and told him again, then releasing him. He got out of his seat and stated he was a head taller than me and going to crush me (actually, he had to stand kind of hunched in the aisle because of his size). I just looked at him, hands dangling at my side and told him “Try it.”. Now given our respective brawling experience and relative strengths, it was probably a good thing for me that he did not actually take me up on the offer.

          Problem was that I was dead serious about it, and he probably could not figure out why. Actually, neither could I but I was not trying at the moment. So he backed off.

          Some of these days I’m going to get myself killed.

          • VZG
            VZG
            August 16, 2013 at 11:27 pm | #

            Appropriate avatar is appropriate.

        • Biege
          Biege
          August 17, 2013 at 1:58 pm | #

          trust me, attitude is equaly as important as ability. if you can convince someone that you can beat them, then you’ve won without having to throw a single punch.

      • John
        John
        August 16, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

        god, one of the stupidest moments of my childhood was believing that and asking my Chinese friend I’d known since we were two if it was true. And she was like ‘…no?’

        The second stupidest was when someone got me to ask the Jewish girl I had a crush on as a tiny fellow if the Hannukah fairy was a real thing. That was also a ‘…no?’

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          August 16, 2013 at 1:07 am | #

          Hanukkah fairy? Is that what Jews tell their kids so they don’t have to admit that Santa’s a huge anti-Semite?

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            August 16, 2013 at 3:09 pm | #

            That’s what they call Mr. Hanky, the Christmas poo.

          • L.K. Croctuta
            L.K. Croctuta
            January 13, 2015 at 10:27 pm | #

            I believe it’s from some Judy Bloom book, though I can’t recall which one.

      • Somebody
        Somebody
        August 16, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

        Which style? All of them? You can argue that swords count as martial art forms too.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      August 16, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      And now watch how the pack of Saruyamas lunges on its prey. Their generally docile nature hides the feral beast within.

      • VZG
        VZG
        August 16, 2013 at 11:29 pm | #

        I imagine them a bit more like the ninja cat or weeping angels: every time they are unseen, they move closer, but when they are spotted they do not move. Eventually, though, you will blink, and you will be doomed.

  15. Gram91
    Gram91
    August 16, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Huh, not surprised that Faz has allowed us to see a new facial expression of Dina.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 16, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

      Faz brings out some unique facial expressions in me as well. I call this one “Disgusement”. It’s a cross between amusement and disgust.

  16. diremoi
    diremoi
    August 16, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    AMBER YOU ARE PROBABLY A LEGAL ADULT AND THE COURT ORDERED HIM TO PAY SO HE CANNOT HOLD THAT OVER YOU. HE SHOULD NOT BE IN YOUR CLOSET DIGGING AROUND. HE SHOULDN’T EVEN BE THERE AS HE WAS NOT INVITED. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BOOT HIS ASS OUT.

    • Kiggy
      Kiggy
      August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      This^

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        August 16, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        Exactly. Boot him out through the window. He’ll have to pay for the damages, and getting cut to ribbons by the glass during the defenestration would serve him right!

    • Savail
      Savail
      August 16, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      Double this. ^

      And once you’re out of the dorms, don’t let anyone have your address who might pass it along.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 16, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

      Agreed. Chuck him out on his ass, you are well within your rights.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 16, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

        It may be well within her rights, but he’s still bigger, older, and her dad. It’s quite a bit easier said than done, regardless of her strength.

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          August 16, 2013 at 1:08 am | #

          Yeah, but Amazi-Girl’s got her back on this one.

  17. Rimefire
    Rimefire
    August 16, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Look on the bright side: Mike can finally punch Blaine!

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      August 16, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

      I suddenly imagine Walkyverse Mike using the dimension portal to systematically punch all Blaines, possibly filming it as a future anniversary gift for Amber.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 16, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

        Even in the universe where Blaine is a kind hearted philanthropist who is working on a cure for cancer

        • Coldcut
          Coldcut
          August 16, 2013 at 3:15 am | #

          ESPECIALLY in that universe.

          • Rimefire
            Rimefire
            August 19, 2013 at 5:58 pm | #

            NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE WRATH THAT IS MIKE/AMBER!

        • Drunken Nordmann
          Drunken Nordmann
          August 16, 2013 at 7:15 am | #

          I think Blaine’s behaviour is a multiverse constant.

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 16, 2013 at 9:50 am | #

            Except in that one universe where he’s his own father,grandfather,great grandfather,and Great great grandmother.

            • xKiv
              xKiv
              August 16, 2013 at 9:23 pm | #

              He’s also his own pet hamster.

  18. ArkhamTexan
    ArkhamTexan
    August 16, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    I assume girls hang on my every word too, Faz. Except I’M RIGHT!

    You know, considering we haven’t seen Dina’s parents do fuck all how did they “insist” to Dina that she should be hospitable? A series of blinks?

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      August 16, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      They’re probably just frozen with a mix of terror and awkwardness.

  19. JBO
    JBO
    August 16, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Why is no one calling security? If Amber doesn’t already have a restarining order against Blaine then she will soon have one.

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      August 16, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      I’m not sure how it works, but I don’t know if she’d still be receiving the court-ordered financial support if she had a restraining order against him.

      I hope she would, but as I said, I don’t know how the law works with that.

      • Jody
        Jody
        August 16, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

        You totally would, child support has little to do with any kind of restraining order. In many states it’s actually automated, money leaves paycheck and gets put into an account, end of story.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 16, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

          He probably just hadn’t shown up in her life in so long she felt she didn’t need one.

      • Jack Finch
        Jack Finch
        August 16, 2013 at 8:52 am | #

        You can get both.

    • Potatamoto
      Potatamoto
      August 16, 2013 at 2:38 am | #

      Restraining order or not, he has NO right to be in that room if she doesn’t want him there. If she notified campus security, they’d have no trouble at all kicking his ass out. And his little Faz, too.

  20. Athedia
    Athedia
    August 16, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    I feel sick to my stomach when I see her dad. Seriously, Amber is the character that I relate to most in the comics and seeing her dad being an ass makes me want to jump in there and simultaneously unleash the Furies and give Amber a hug.

  21. Juliecat
    Juliecat
    August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    I’ve never said this before about a webcomic character but PLEASE KILL AMBER’S DAD OFF IN A MOST HORRIBLE SCHADENFREUDICAL FASHION.

    Thank you.

    • xain
      xain
      August 16, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      ^this^ a thousand times this

      • xain
        xain
        August 16, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        on a related note

        right now you are down and out and really feeling crappy

        • Squall
          Squall
          August 16, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

          “Is it possible to kill a man by magic?”
          “A magician could, but a gentleman never would.”

        • Tenn
          Tenn
          August 16, 2013 at 3:31 am | #

          And when I see how sad you are, it sort of makes me… happyyyyyyyyy!

        • The Weird Guy
          The Weird Guy
          August 16, 2013 at 6:22 am | #

          “I’ll say!”
          “And when I see just how sad you are, it makes me sort of… HAPPY!”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 16, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

      He gets hit by a meatorite which blows his organs up internally.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        August 16, 2013 at 3:13 pm | #

        NAh, he gets hit by the toilet from the international space station.

        • Starscreamer
          Starscreamer
          August 16, 2013 at 7:18 pm | #

          Dead Like Me

          • xKiv
            xKiv
            August 16, 2013 at 9:25 pm | #

            Dead don’t like Blaine

            • Starscreamer
              Starscreamer
              August 17, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

              LOL. Hopefully it does. Actually, I was just saying that the toilet frm the international station was a reference to Dead Like Me. It’sn how the lead character dies and becomes a Grim Reaper

              • xKiv
                xKiv
                August 17, 2013 at 10:58 am | #

                I missed the first few minutes (and maybe the entire pilot?), but I knew that.

    • Prickly
      Prickly
      August 16, 2013 at 3:06 am | #

      Why am I thinking of David Cronenberg’s “Scanners?”

  22. Squall
    Squall
    August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    WHY DOES NO ONE KNOW HOW TO SPELL THE SAUROCHAMU’S LAST NAME RIGHT?!

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      August 16, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      It’s just that the Sarazus are so forgettable. Which is their greatest weapon, of course.

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 16, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        Oh, that explains why they’d have a name like Soganoya

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          August 16, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

          I think Suzumiya is a fine name.

          • Kiggy
            Kiggy
            August 16, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

            ^this too^

          • Somebody
            Somebody
            August 16, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

            Until you’re on her bad side…then it isn’t so fun.

          • Coldcut
            Coldcut
            August 16, 2013 at 3:17 am | #

            I guess. I suppose some people just have a hard time with the silent x.

  23. toddtr
    toddtr
    August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    Shouldn’t it be “And How many damn comics” instead of “And now”?

  24. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    August 16, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    -twitch- What’s that, Blaine? You have to have a court order to tell you to help support your daughter and you think you get to say how that money is spent?

    Where’s Ruth? I need her to teach me how to remove femurs…

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 16, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      I’m torn between wanting him to die a slow and painful death, or a fast and painful one so we don’t have to deal with him any longer than absolutely necessary.

      • Andy
        Andy
        August 16, 2013 at 12:47 am | #

        That’s why dark magic is so much fun. Necromancy means you can kill your enemies as many times as you want.

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      August 16, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      Amber can kick his ass just fine.

      Also, Ruth’s down in the cafeteria with Howard and Billie.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        August 16, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

        I know, I’m being a bit selfish and wanting to contribute to his suffering.

        • Totz the Plaid
          Totz the Plaid
          August 16, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

          I think that if Blaine were real, and we were to meet him, it’d end up in a “Murder on the Orient Express” type situation where we all attack him and nobody’s sure who dealt the killing blow.

          • AgentKeen
            AgentKeen
            August 16, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

            Now all I can think of is how easy it would be to identify which cast member did it. Like, if it was Dina, there’d be teeth marks.

  25. Joebo
    Joebo
    August 16, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    He needs a corn popper… to the FAAAAAAACCCCEEEE!!!!

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      August 16, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      And the BAAAAAALLS!

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        August 16, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        Baseball bat to the face.

        Grappling hook to the balls.

        Then defenestration.

        • Joebo
          Joebo
          August 16, 2013 at 2:42 am | #

          I am always for a good defenestration.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            August 16, 2013 at 3:16 pm | #

            A demonstration of that defenestration would aid my education and help assauge my consternation.

  26. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    August 16, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    When Dina is trying to educate you on poor social skills you know you have problems.

    Huh, you know, this asshole is like a less passive aggressive version of Joyce’s parents. Walks into his daughter’s life, criticises and dismisses her choices and attempts to assert his control over her life.

  27. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    August 16, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Also, where can I buy a grapling hook? Do they just sell them online?

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      August 16, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Yes. They don’t come with guns, and in fact, I don’t think grappling hook guns are a real thing, but you can totally by the hook and cord online.

      • thecanvashat
        thecanvashat
        August 16, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

        They are, but they aren’t really as exciting as you would think.

        I believe they just fire a rope that secures to something and you have to physically climb up the rope after securing the gun to a firm surface.

        • Squall
          Squall
          August 16, 2013 at 9:53 am | #

          I bet Blaine’s face is a firm surface, what with all the face exercises he does.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 16, 2013 at 1:08 am | #

      If Gravity Falls told me anything, you can get them from a souvenier shop.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        August 16, 2013 at 3:18 pm | #

        And SWOTOR taught me that you can get them from a vendor in the mountains.

      • VZG
        VZG
        August 16, 2013 at 11:34 pm | #

        Only if Mabel hasn’t squirreled them all away yet.

  28. Maycroft
    Maycroft
    August 16, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Kick his ass, kick his ass!!

  29. John Madden
    John Madden
    August 16, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    So why in the name of Sean Connery did he bother coming?

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      August 16, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      So make her feel like shit and assert control over her life.

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        August 16, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        Bingo.

        • Boom
          Boom
          August 16, 2013 at 8:56 pm | #

          Yahtzee.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 16, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      To be a verbally abusive ass, clearly.

      (I know it’s only going to get worse from here. It just… auuuugh. AughaughaughaughSOMEONEGETSALINHEREPLEEEEEEASE.)

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        August 16, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        Hopefully Amber will at least assault him!

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          August 16, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

          Yes. Please.

          I will pay good money for the entire cast to beat the shit out of him. Everyone. Including Buckets of Blood guy.

          • thecanvashat
            thecanvashat
            August 16, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

            Especially Buckets of Blood Guy.

            • Ragnal
              Ragnal
              August 16, 2013 at 10:00 pm | #

              Nah, I expect BOBG to just stand there and narrate the goreshed he’s watching, then wet his pants in excitement.

    • AJBulldis
      AJBulldis
      August 16, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      The thing about angry and aggressive people is that they tend to put themselves in situations that allow them to express anger and aggression. It’s addictive, in a way.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 16, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

        It’s like a drug that kills you psychologically before it kills you physically (Unless you do it too much in which case both are possible)

        • AJBulldis
          AJBulldis
          August 16, 2013 at 3:54 am | #

          Side effects include loneliness, increased aggression, and death. Anger is not for everyone. Consult your doctor before use.

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 16, 2013 at 12:51 pm | #

            You have inspired me
            http://squallloir.tumblr.com/post/58430272372/paid-for-by-supporters-of-canvashat-and-the-help

    • Potatamoto
      Potatamoto
      August 16, 2013 at 4:42 am | #

      Actually, I wonder…yes, certainly he could be here for no reason other than to be a tremendous, douchey asshole. But I can’t help but feel like he’s got some kind of angle. He was looking for money the first time he showed up in Shortpacked!, could this be similar?

  30. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    August 16, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Blaine is really as charming as his walkyverse counterpart… real charming :S

  31. Joebo
    Joebo
    August 16, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    I do however like how he has no problem with the grappling hook.

    • Frogboy
      Frogboy
      August 16, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      I’m not sure Blaine knows what a grappling hook is. “What is this, some kind of Dungeons and Dragons?”

      • vsophi
        vsophi
        August 16, 2013 at 12:56 am | #

        This is perfect.

    • AJBulldis
      AJBulldis
      August 16, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      He probably just assumes it’s the kind of stupid thing a fan of comic books would buy as part of their deranged childish fantasies.

      • LockeZ
        LockeZ
        August 16, 2013 at 3:06 am | #

        Well, that’s the reason *I* own a grappling hook.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 16, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

      He understands that while comics are stupid grappling hooks are always awesome.

      • Gargamel
        Gargamel
        August 16, 2013 at 6:51 am | #

        I choose to to translate that as:
        You’ve become a Martial Artist – Great!
        You’ve become a super hero? – Gah! Not the heir to my empire!

  32. clodia
    clodia
    August 16, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Fuck you. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. GO HOME AND DIE IN A FIRE. FAZ, GET THEE TO A MONASTERY AND STAY THERE UNTIL YOU GROW UP AND LEARN SOCIAL CUES.

    Amber: Ice cream and crimefighting.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      August 16, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      Because if you’re going to learn social cues, it’ll be from a monastery.

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        August 16, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        Well, at least he’ll be away from most people, and they might force him to take a vow of silence.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          August 16, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

          I’m sure Faz could find some other way to communicate. Visual aides for example.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            August 16, 2013 at 1:10 am | #

            You can see by this chart the number of visual Aids faz has. The large slice of pie represents how many of them involve Faz’s little Faz.

            • Tenn
              Tenn
              August 16, 2013 at 3:35 am | #

              Faz invented the Genitalian Sign Language.

            • Squall
              Squall
              August 16, 2013 at 7:51 pm | #

              I misread that as you talking about Faz having visual AIDS.

              • Boom
                Boom
                August 16, 2013 at 8:58 pm | #

                God, I’ve never believed in you, but please make this happen.

      • JBO
        JBO
        August 16, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

        Some monks are masters in the game. They are actually so good they retire so other guys get a chance with women.

      • clodia
        clodia
        August 16, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

        I’ve been reading on “To Be or Not To Be”, so it was supposed to be an allusion to the nunnery line, as I find his attempted sexual activity to be shameful. Not because sex is shameful, but because Faz is shameful. A monastery would also have the advantage of being secluded and full of self-denial, as I am given to understand. On the whole, advantages. I’d be perfectly fine with him never speaking to anyone ever ever again. I like to hope that he can learn, though. Despite all evidence to the contrary.

    • Somebody
      Somebody
      August 16, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

      Go home and be a family–wait, you already screwed that up.

  33. Wolfe
    Wolfe
    August 16, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

    The amount of tension in this room kind of makes me sick…I’m completely offput by her dad 😡

    • Boom
      Boom
      August 16, 2013 at 8:59 pm | #

      Not surprisingly since I get the feeling he’s suppressing an urge to hit her in panel four.

  34. Rani
    Rani
    August 16, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

    White text on black bubble, darker shaded character on red background…

    Gee, where have we seen Willis use that before? O_O

    • thecanvashat
      thecanvashat
      August 16, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

      Blaine’ll come back when it’s not possessed o’ clock.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 16, 2013 at 1:11 am | #

        Blaine should probably never come back.

  35. Athedia
    Athedia
    August 16, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    Good thought, maybe Ruth will walk by on her way back from lunch and accidentally push him down the garbage chute.

  36. Emoroffle
    Emoroffle
    August 16, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    Why don’t you show him your mace Amber. After all, he paid for that too.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 16, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

      I really don’t care whether you mean the spray or the midieval weaponry in this case.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        August 16, 2013 at 2:50 pm | #

        It’s the medieval weaponry, but instead of being covered in spikes, it’s covered in nozzles that shoot Mace.

        • Ragnal
          Ragnal
          August 16, 2013 at 9:57 pm | #

          A mace mace. I like it.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      August 16, 2013 at 3:21 pm | #

      And that is the one question you do NOT, under any circumstances, ask Faz.

  37. CaptMuffin
    CaptMuffin
    August 16, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    I feel like Blaine’s character design is missing something. Namely, several fists to the face.

    • CaptMuffin
      CaptMuffin
      August 16, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      Also is it bad that the masochist in me wants nothing but a week of Blaine walking around and critiquing everything Amber does?

      • Not Walky
        Not Walky
        August 16, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

        Er, I believe that would be your inner SADIST, actually.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          August 16, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

          Not if it hurts him/her too.

          • Madock345
            Madock345
            August 16, 2013 at 2:53 am | #

            I know this has been painful for *me* to read.

  38. Frogboy
    Frogboy
    August 16, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    You know what this situation needs right now? A big heaping teaspoon of Danny! Estimated time of walking in: 3…2…1…

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      August 16, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

      Or, you know, Ethan, who’s Amber’s best friend and has known her since high school. Better yet, Mike.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 16, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

        Yeah, because Ethan is sooooo intimidating.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 16, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

          Ethan could throw a punch. Danny is probably as helpful as Pokey from Earthbound.
          Danny Apologized profusely
          Danny smiled incinserely
          Danny still didn’t recongnize Amber

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            August 16, 2013 at 1:21 am | #

            Ethan’s not exactly in an emotional stable place right now. Even if Amber’s dad didn’t know his specific issues he’d likely see the weakness in him. Like blood in the water in front of a shark.

      • Boom
        Boom
        August 16, 2013 at 9:01 pm | #

        Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike!

    • xain
      xain
      August 16, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

      Wow people asking for danny that when you know the situation has gotten dire

      • Frogboy
        Frogboy
        August 16, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

        I was being sardonic when I was calling for Danny. Not to be confused with being Zardonic, which is when you are calling for more Trent Reznor.

        • Mimo
          Mimo
          August 16, 2013 at 3:04 am | #

          Whoa, backtrack, can we call for Trent Reznor? Is that an option? Put my vote in for Trent Reznor rescue.

        • Not Walky
          Not Walky
          August 17, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          Or Zordonic, which is when you call for five teenagers with attitude.

      • Badeyes
        Badeyes
        August 16, 2013 at 1:51 am | #

        I so want Danny to come in and find the guts to just say something.
        Then Blaine will berate him scaring the shit out of him which Blaine then slips in and falls into Faz embedding teeth in that grinning globe he calls a head. Jaws of life are required. Blaine’s jaw is wired shut for 4 months. Faz’s injury amounts to a lobotomy.

  39. Tomb
    Tomb
    August 16, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    STRANGLE

  40. Totz the Plaid
    Totz the Plaid
    August 16, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

    You know, Willis, if you’re going to have someone die in a car crash, or any other sort of way, or multiple ways, simultaneously, fucking kill off Blaine, please.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 16, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

      Even if Blaine is nowhere near the car crash, have it kill him.

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 16, 2013 at 9:55 am | #

        Maybe he could get hit in the face by a spaceship and reconstructed as a female

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 16, 2013 at 10:49 am | #

          I’d prefer he be reconstructed as a plant.

          • The Candyman
            The Candyman
            August 16, 2013 at 12:06 pm | #

            A plant that will destroy Amber’s enemies.

            • Squall
              Squall
              August 16, 2013 at 12:46 pm | #

              I approve of this, but I would hope that someone understood my reference.

              • Roborat
                Roborat
                August 16, 2013 at 3:23 pm | #

                I did.

              • Ragnal
                Ragnal
                August 16, 2013 at 9:55 pm | #

                Elaborate.

  41. gears
    gears
    August 16, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

    This is the moment I would say, “Get out of my room or I will call the campus police, and laugh as they tase you.”

    • Boom
      Boom
      August 16, 2013 at 9:02 pm | #

      “Don’t tase me bro!”

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      August 16, 2013 at 10:37 pm | #

      I would love to see what happens when he puffs himself up and tells the campus cops to fuck off because he pays their salary.

  42. Nena
    Nena
    August 16, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

    There are a lot of abusive asshole dads like that out there.

    • Animal
      Animal
      August 16, 2013 at 7:48 pm | #

      And for every one there are dozens of caring, supportive, hardworking Dads who see their #1 role in life as loving and providing for their families. I have a Dad like that. (He’s 90 and still very much a Dad.) Mrs. Animal has a Dad like that. I have been a Dad like that for 31 years.

      So, take these things in persepctive.

  43. MechaMaidFan7
    MechaMaidFan7
    August 16, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

    …aaaaaaand it’s like the second (or third, not so sure) time I’ve seen Dina snap out of her poker face and express an emotion in this universe.

    • JBO
      JBO
      August 16, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

      Dina should start playing poker. She would have payed up her student loan in about two months.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 16, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

        No matter how good her hand is it wouldn’t make a difference if she didn’t know how to play.

        • Boom
          Boom
          August 16, 2013 at 9:08 pm | #

          “None of these cards have dinosaurs on them or contain information about dinosaurs. I find little to endear me to this endeavour.”

      • gangler
        gangler
        August 16, 2013 at 1:43 am | #

        Her difficulties understanding people would probably make everything equal. She’d be as incapable of discerning their bluffs as they would be hers.

        • MechaMaidFan7
          MechaMaidFan7
          August 16, 2013 at 9:02 pm | #

          Maybe if she’s as smart as she was in the Walkyverse, she could start understanding how to cheat, err… use mathematical advantages.

  44. Brian Lynch
    Brian Lynch
    August 16, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

    I read this late at night, so I suppress the urge to laugh out loud, so as to avoid disturbing my family. The last panel got me.

  45. xain
    xain
    August 16, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

    time to call in the tactical nuke also known as Ruth

    • JBO
      JBO
      August 16, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

      Or Sarah.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 16, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

        Sarah’s going to have such a long day. First she’s got to introduce Joyce’s parents to Old Testament God. Then she’s gotta swing by Danny’s parents. Then maybe Walky and Sal’s parents. And now there’s this guy. An Old Testament’s God’s wrath is never done.

        • Ragnal
          Ragnal
          August 16, 2013 at 9:52 pm | #

          Wait, what did Sal and Walky’s parents do to warrant a visit from Sarah’s bat?

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            August 17, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

            I said maybe, but I suspect their interactions with Sal will go poorly.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      August 16, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

      To stop an abuser you need another abuser.

      • Boom
        Boom
        August 16, 2013 at 9:09 pm | #

        To fuck an asshole you need a dick.

  46. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    August 16, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

    You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Instead of dying in a fire I hope he is disemboweled slowly.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      August 16, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

      Why not disembowel him slowly in a fire? While periodically strangling him with his own intestines? You want torture, I got a few thousand ways to do it.

      But usually I’m just this quiet guy that likes to ride a bike to get places. Seriously, I haven’t killed anyone in ages. That you know…

  47. Vivvav
    Vivvav
    August 16, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    I’m hoping he starts some shit on campus and Amazi-Girl stops him.

    • karloaf
      karloaf
      August 16, 2013 at 1:30 am | #

      this is where ultracar makes her grand appearance

  48. Fezzam
    Fezzam
    August 16, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

    I’d like to point out over 400 people have lied on the current survey!

  49. Alex Stritar
    Alex Stritar
    August 16, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

    Willis, you know you don’t have to work so hard to get me to hate that guy, I already have plenty of reason to.

    Also, why does Amber have a grappling hook? And where can I get one?

    • Frogboy
      Frogboy
      August 16, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

      Obviously the grappling hook is so she doesn’t have to go down to the dorm lobby to greet the pizza guy. Like how one of the Ninja Turtles (probably Donatello, but don’t quote me on that) had the pizza guy feed a pizza down through a sewer grate in the first movie, except in reverse. She just lowers her hook down out the window with a twenty on it, and then reels in a pizza.

  50. ridtom
    ridtom
    August 16, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

    I want Danny to redeem himself here. Like he overhears how Blaine treats Amber and just flips his shit, nobody knows what’s going, and it cuts to Blaine in a body cast with Faz explaining how women lust over him with charts.

    That’d be really nice.

    • Charles RB
      Charles RB
      August 16, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

      If not Danny, I’ll take Ruth, Mike, ROZ EVEN.

    • gangler
      gangler
      August 16, 2013 at 1:47 am | #

      What if Faz’s thing isn’t visually representing data in this universe? He could write a sonnet about how women lust over him.

      • ridtom
        ridtom
        August 16, 2013 at 2:17 am | #

        Even better he writes a sonnett about a chart that explains that explains how much of an asskicking Blaine recieved.

  51. Charles RB
    Charles RB
    August 16, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

    Amber is coming out of her shell in the most ominous possible way 😮

  52. Doom Shepherd
    Doom Shepherd
    August 16, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

    In my fantasy of how this plays out, someone would knock Blaine out and he would wake up tied down and catheterized. At the other end of the catheter would be one of those old-timey glass IV bottles. The bottle would contain hydrochloric acid.

    Try and top that, kiddies.

    • Yet Another Laura H.
      Yet Another Laura H.
      August 16, 2013 at 2:01 am | #

      He gets therapy or grows up and realizes exactly how awful he was to his daughter. I’ve seen it happen, with abusers of a couple of different stripes. You kind of feel sorry for them.

      • DR_GONZO
        DR_GONZO
        August 16, 2013 at 3:19 pm | #

        If he’s a sociopath though (which I’m very certain he is) he’s incapable of reforming. Sociopaths who get mental therapy are generally good at telling therapists and psychiatrists what they want to hear and feigning emotional change. Sadly therapy just teaches them how to better psychopaths. They can’t change because their amygdula(part of the brain that regulates emotions, memories, trauma,etc) doesn’t function normally. If that’s the case then the best thing for Amber and her family is to keep their distance.

  53. GaiusTavarusMagnus
    GaiusTavarusMagnus
    August 16, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

    I sort of like Blaine. I can now use him as an outlet for my violent rages at my own social and parental situation. Thank you David Willis for creating this hellspawn for me to torture maim and humiliate in my dreams.

  54. Somebody
    Somebody
    August 16, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

    Why does he even care? It doesn’t affect him at all. I’ll never understand people like that.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 16, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

      The only way it affects him as such is that he’s the one paying for it.

      • Somebody
        Somebody
        August 16, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

        I was talking about the comics.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 16, 2013 at 1:27 am | #

          I didn’t NOT raise no nerd.

    • Andy
      Andy
      August 16, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

      Because he can. Because he’s a complete cockass dickhole jerkface who is only happy when other people are unhappy except he’s still not happy then because he’s too busy being angry because that’s what makes the other people not happy. Because his idea of parenting is to scare a child so far into line, they become 2-dimensional. Because reasons because thinking about this character any more just makes me mad and slightly nauseated.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 16, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

        Don’t hold back, tell us how you really feel. 😀

  55. Aaaaaaadrian
    Aaaaaaadrian
    August 16, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

    So when is literally ANYONE going to step in and punch amber’s jerk dad in his jerk face?

    • Animal
      Animal
      August 16, 2013 at 7:51 pm | #

      Never punch someone in the face. Too many bones, and if they happen to duck, you’ll shatter your fingers on their skull. Aim for the gut, the solar plexus (better) of it you must, throat or point of chin.

      Not a speck of martial arts training, but I was hell on wheels in a bar fight back in the day (the day being about 1979.)

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 16, 2013 at 8:51 pm | #

        I’m basically imagining you sitting in a chair, whiskey in hand, telling various schoolchildren stories about your life.

        And that image is awesome.

  56. Ancestral Hamster
    Ancestral Hamster
    August 16, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

    Even if the Sarazus are a herbivorous species, they can still be dangerous. See the example of the Cape Buffalo. So hurry up and trample Faz and Blaine to death!

  57. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    August 16, 2013 at 12:54 am | #

    Sheesh…It’s kinda pointless for me to comment, this section got filled so fast.

  58. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 16, 2013 at 12:54 am | #

    So Willis, when do you plan on launching your new line of Blaine-head stressballs?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 16, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

      or punching bags?

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 16, 2013 at 8:12 am | #

        Or toilet paper?

  59. Rex Hondo
    Rex Hondo
    August 16, 2013 at 12:54 am | #

    “Congratulations,” Blaine! You’re neck-and-neck with Ryan the Rapist on the Loathesome Leaderboard! Whatever you say next, or whatever Amber chooses to reveal, could really push you ahead!

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      August 16, 2013 at 12:09 pm | #

      “Ethan’s mom is coming in hard on second place! Can she steal a victory?”

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        August 16, 2013 at 10:45 pm | #

        If she pulls it off, it’s only because Blaine has been out of Amber’s life too long to know that “You turned your boyfriend gay on your prom night” is a button he could use.

  60. Madock345
    Madock345
    August 16, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

    It’s not really a cliffhanger if you switch to something even *more* dramatic.

  61. Ancestral Hamster
    Ancestral Hamster
    August 16, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

    (In response to the alt-text).
    Yes, Mr. Willis, I was expecting more Sal today. My sexy dusky brunette fix is now unfulfilled.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 16, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

      What are you talking about? Amber’s right there.

      • Ancestral Hamster
        Ancestral Hamster
        August 16, 2013 at 3:44 am | #

        Amber is not dusky.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        August 16, 2013 at 3:28 pm | #

        I thought he was talking about you.

  62. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 16, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

    Faz is such a lousy pick-up artist, he cannot even pick up a VD in a red light zone.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 16, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

      He can’t even pick up something he dropped. If he drops a $20 he is physically incapable of lifting it back off the ground.

      • Tomb
        Tomb
        August 16, 2013 at 8:15 am | #

        He certainly can’t pick up chicks, even if they just hatched!

  63. C.
    C.
    August 16, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

    He actually is right, but for different reasons than he thinks.

  64. Megatron
    Megatron
    August 16, 2013 at 1:02 am | #

    You’re a monster.

  65. Aescapulius
    Aescapulius
    August 16, 2013 at 1:10 am | #

    My head just started pounding and I actually feel angry.

    He sounds like my father at his worst.

    Good work, dude, you actually managed to portray that feeling really well.

    I need to go hit something now.

  66. Icalasari
    Icalasari
    August 16, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

    Hey, Willis, can you kill them both with a taxi, twenty three rabid monkeys – sixteen of which are radioactive, and about twelve acres of hellfire?

    That would be great

    • Badeyes
      Badeyes
      August 16, 2013 at 2:07 am | #

      OOOH rabid radioactive monkeys… do they carry ebola?

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 16, 2013 at 12:11 pm | #

        That and AIDS.

      • brionl
        brionl
        August 16, 2013 at 2:48 pm | #

        Genetically Modified Rabid Radioactive Monkeys.
        That actually the secret origin for one of my Champions characters. Except it was bats. Chiropteretta, the Singing Bat!

  67. Jesse
    Jesse
    August 16, 2013 at 1:16 am | #

    PUNCH THEM BOTH ALREADY!

  68. Tomas
    Tomas
    August 16, 2013 at 1:18 am | #

    She’s doing the Batman voice!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 16, 2013 at 7:00 pm | #

      MY NAME IS AMBER O’MALLEY

      I WANT TO KILL MY FATHER

      PREPARE TO DIE

  69. Gottawonder
    Gottawonder
    August 16, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

    My guess is the grappling hook is for Amazi-girl’s exits/entries using the dorm windows? Sal is the only one who seemingly climbs sheer building faces.
    I think Faz is in danger, he really shouldn’t corner Dina.
    I think Amber is about to let her abusive asshole father feel that he has made a very bad mistake harassing her at this point in her life.
    I hope I’m right on both counts.

  70. Kaci
    Kaci
    August 16, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

    HOW is it that AS TERRIFYING as the exchange between Amber and her dad is, it is just as HILARIOUSLY ADORABLE between Faz and Dina?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 16, 2013 at 1:30 am | #

      I still ship them.

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 16, 2013 at 9:58 am | #

        I’d ship Faz to Canada if that wouldn’t get me in trouble with both PETA and the Mounties.

        • shietka
          shietka
          March 25, 2014 at 8:06 pm | #

          Wait. Trouble with PETA because they’re the only ones crazy enough to care what happens to Faz, or because they wouldn’t like you inflicting Faz on Canadian wildlife?

          • L.K. Croctuta
            L.K. Croctuta
            January 14, 2015 at 5:02 pm | #

            Yes.

  71. Jenny Creed
    Jenny Creed
    August 16, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

    Faz thinks if girl says she doesn’t want to sleep with him it means she wants to roleplay a rape fantasy.

    I note his eyes have yet to open from that “I know everything and I’m so wonderful I think I’m going to come” expression.

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      August 16, 2013 at 3:53 am | #

      Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t think Faz has ever opened his eyes in all the years he’s been in Shortpacked either.

      • Ragnal
        Ragnal
        August 16, 2013 at 9:47 pm | #

        Nope, never, and the one time I was expecting it (The revelation that he’s Amber’s sister), it didn’t happen.

        He must be like Brock from Pokemon.

  72. Dude
    Dude
    August 16, 2013 at 1:31 am | #

    Ooh, I hope we get at least 4 more (on this topic) irrelevant comics ending in Amber telling her whore of a father to go to hell. Faz might be fun in the meantime though.

  73. Dierna
    Dierna
    August 16, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

    Oh yay… if you combine Joyce’s dad (the religion thing) and Blaine (the comics thing) you’d probably get my dad. My mom introduced me to comics, my dad thought they were a waist of time and money and told me to throw them away (instead I just simply hid them where he couldn’t see em :P). *twitches*

    • Hythrain
      Hythrain
      August 16, 2013 at 2:51 am | #

      I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad you’ve managed to work around it.

      Also, love your icon 😀

  74. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    August 16, 2013 at 1:37 am | #

    http://sadpanda.us/images/1795929-5T8HE4H.png
    I STILL THINK THEY’D BE A CUTE COUPLE WITH AWKWARD BABIES.

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      August 16, 2013 at 3:50 am | #

      PfffHAHAHAHAAH!

      That is horrible and disgusting. I love it! 😀

    • AJBulldis
      AJBulldis
      August 16, 2013 at 3:58 am | #

      Magnificent.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 16, 2013 at 7:01 pm | #

      NIIIIIIICE!

    • Squall
      Squall
      August 16, 2013 at 7:55 pm | #

      I think I died a little.

  75. Megatron
    Megatron
    August 16, 2013 at 1:45 am | #

    I’ll say this: if my daughter wanted to use the money I give her for college to be a superhero, I’d be all for it.

  76. JA
    JA
    August 16, 2013 at 1:50 am | #

    So what’s Amber’s dad’s malfunction?

    • Grimlock64
      Grimlock64
      August 16, 2013 at 2:00 am | #

      He’s an asshole. That’s all there is to it.

      • Badeyes
        Badeyes
        August 16, 2013 at 2:07 am | #

        mega asshole

        • Dave
          Dave
          August 16, 2013 at 3:09 am | #

          Now that I think about it: Where the hell is Mike when you actually need him for once?!

          • Timinane
            Timinane
            August 16, 2013 at 3:40 am | #

            Mike is out with your mum.

            Where is would he be, he’s probably out with all our mums.

            • Dave
              Dave
              August 17, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

              …I walked into that one
              …I got no one to blame but my self…
              …And your mum, but she’s with Mike

    • Alexis
      Alexis
      August 16, 2013 at 6:33 am | #

      Well, see, sometimes a dad has a kid.

      And sometimes when that dad has a kid, the dad has a certain mindset. He goes thinking, well, wait a minute. He’s paying for everything here. He pays for their food, their house, their clothes, their education. The kid could not exist without him. The kid’s whole life would be objectively shittier without him- of course it would! How would they even SURVIVE without daddy paying for their baby food? It’s not like they could get a job! They owe their whole existence to him!

      But these thoughts go on quietly, in the far backdrop of the dad’s mind. He’s not always thinking it consciously. It’ll arise sometimes, in the heat of anger. Mostly, the thoughts he has are thoughts which superficially resemble those of all fathers: “I care for this child, and in the interest of caring for them, they should listen to me”.

      The issue is that this surface level thought arises from corrupted mechanisms beneath: while a normal father thinks of care as unconditional love, a father like Blaine thinks of care as the obligation of childrearing; while a normal father thinks that a child should listen as one half of a communication process that becomes more involved as the child becomes an adult, Blaine thinks of it as the child’s obligation TO him, in RETURN of ALL that he has GIVEN UP to them.

      This is the thought-process that happens when you turn yourself into the most important person in your world.

      • Kirt Dankmyer
        Kirt Dankmyer
        August 16, 2013 at 10:46 am | #

        This analysis, with some modification, explains a lot about MRAs.

        • gears
          gears
          August 16, 2013 at 9:33 pm | #

          Well that’s a sweeping overgeneralization.

      • Jenny Creed
        Jenny Creed
        August 16, 2013 at 1:20 pm | #

        And then you end up like this: http://i696.photobucket.com/albums/vv324/immortalpictures/fell.jpg

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      August 16, 2013 at 8:40 am | #

      Blaine’s a psychopath. He has extreme narcissim. He likes dominating, controlling, and hurting others. He lacks empathy, so when he invokes negative emotions in Amber he gets a kick out of the control without feeling her pain in kind. Think of the kid that grabs another’s toy and plays rough with it and breaks it and reacts as if “eh, no big deal. It’s not like it was mine”.

  77. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    August 16, 2013 at 2:01 am | #

    You negated the Sal cliffhanger with the continuation of another good plot. Sorry Willis, we all win like that.

    It’d take something REALLY big plot-wise interrupted by something INCREDIBLY unrelated and uninteresting to do an effective cliffhanger. Basically, the apex of the Ruth-Billie relationship arc interrupted by a Danny comic.

  78. ilacktact
    ilacktact
    August 16, 2013 at 2:22 am | #

    Holy shit could we emphasize any more how shitty Amber’s dad and Faz are?

  79. Melvin Schlock
    Melvin Schlock
    August 16, 2013 at 2:32 am | #

    Great story-telling, WIllis.
    You rock!

  80. Piro2247
    Piro2247
    August 16, 2013 at 2:40 am | #

    Oh god Dinas face… it makes me want to give her a hug and protect her from Faz…

    • Luzahn
      Luzahn
      August 16, 2013 at 5:15 am | #

      Faz is slowly becoming the worst family character. I mean, at least until Blaine unleashes the evil.

  81. blackaeon
    blackaeon
    August 16, 2013 at 2:50 am | #

    What a douchepuppet. This statement is applicable for two people in the panels genetically linked and possessing penises.

  82. LockeZ
    LockeZ
    August 16, 2013 at 3:11 am | #

    I gotta be honest, Dina vs. Faz is amazing. They talk in exactly the same manner, the same kinds of obsessive and self-centered personalities, and have the same asperger’s symptoms. Just one of them is a complete and utter pervert, and the other probably doesn’t understand the concept of a sex drive except. This interaction could go on for DAYS and it would be brilliant. This could be an entire sitcom series, just these two in a room, talking about dinosaurs and sex, forever.

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      August 16, 2013 at 9:01 am | #

      It’s a mistake to confuse Dina’s extreme introversion for shallow. It’s made her naive, but there’s depth in her to fill, unlike Faz, who’s everything is only skin deep.

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        August 17, 2013 at 7:32 am | #

        Faz wants to fill Dina’s depths.

  83. teasugarsalt
    teasugarsalt
    August 16, 2013 at 3:12 am | #

    Blaine makes me physically nauseous.

  84. Ellie
    Ellie
    August 16, 2013 at 3:59 am | #

    I’m glad Amber is more able to stand up to her father in this universe. I guess her parents divorced earlier letting her get away from his influence.

  85. TurtlyLooker
    TurtlyLooker
    August 16, 2013 at 4:18 am | #

    Someone doesn’t know how to write male characters who aren’t assholes.

    • AndaisQ
      AndaisQ
      August 16, 2013 at 4:39 am | #

      If you think Ethan or Walky are proper assholes, your standards for that term probably include everyone in the strip who isn’t Dina.

      • TurtlyLooker
        TurtlyLooker
        August 16, 2013 at 3:05 pm | #

        Walky is the farthest from one I’ve found. Ethan is because he can’t be honest to someone who thought/thinks he’s his girlfriends about who he is, even when, by his own admission, he knows who he is. He’s selfishly using her to be accepted, and, in my opinion, that’s being an asshole.

        • gears
          gears
          August 16, 2013 at 9:28 pm | #

          Not being honest and being selfish makes you an asshole? That means every person I’ve ever met in my entire life was an asshole. I think you need stricter criteria.

    • Arkadi
      Arkadi
      August 16, 2013 at 4:59 am | #

      Welcome to the webcomic. You may want to go to the beginning and read the archives in order to get acquainted with the characters and the story ^^

      • TurtlyLooker
        TurtlyLooker
        August 16, 2013 at 3:17 pm | #

        I’ve read the entire strip twice. I know this universe of the characters pretty well, and every male character, outside of maybe one or two, is an asshole of some kind. Some are rude, some use others, there are jerks of many kinds. Ethan using Joyce, Joe being sex-obsessed guy, Jason lying to/using Sal, Mike’s tremendous vocabulary of insults, Amber’s dad being possessive-intimidator, Joe’s dad being rapey-Joe, Joyce’s dad keeping her from her friend just for having different religious views, etc. The list goes on. The only female characters who have even been written as rude at all, for more than a single instance, have been Ruth, Billie, Sarah, and Joyce’s mom.

        “Welcome to the webcomic.”

        • Squeeeble
          Squeeeble
          August 16, 2013 at 7:14 pm | #

          Amber has deliberately friend zoned herself and has told her best friend that she needs space. Sal had sex with Jason and was angry that it didn’t improve her grades. Joyce slut shames and is judgemental. Dorothy let her boyfriend go to a college because of her when she knew she wanted to break up with him.

          You can interpret pretty much all the characters as being arseholes if you want to. Willis has written characters who are young, who make mistakes and aren’t always the best that they could be. It’s part of what makes the comic so engaging.

          Mike is just an arsehole though. To say otherwise and you’re wrong.

        • gears
          gears
          August 16, 2013 at 9:30 pm | #

          Okay, at least 3 of your examples are the girl’s fault at least as much as the guy’s.

        • Arkadi
          Arkadi
          August 17, 2013 at 4:48 pm | #

          As Squeeble and gears said, if your definition of “asshole” is as generous as to include Ethan and Jason, it should also include a good chunk of the female cast; even Joyce has ben unintentionally rude to people on more than one occasion. Willis’s characters, both male and female, are very human and full of human failings. If you really see a double standard in the strip, I’m afraid you’re either not reading it carefully enough, or reading too much into it.

          • David Willis
            David M Willis
            August 17, 2013 at 6:24 pm | #

            Never argue with a conveniently-selective memory. A conveniently-selective memory’s already decided those things that disagree with it don’t really count.

            • Arkadi
              Arkadi
              August 18, 2013 at 9:01 am | #

              Sad but true :c Still, if you keep reminding them that there are lots of people who don’t see things the way they see them, it may do something in the long run.

  86. Rideps
    Rideps
    August 16, 2013 at 4:22 am | #

    Can we kill him? Can we just plain kill him? Please Willis? Can he be killed? Kick him out the window face first.

    Faz can stay even.

  87. AndaisQ
    AndaisQ
    August 16, 2013 at 4:40 am | #

    ROCKS FALL, SEVERAL VERY SPECIFIC PEOPLE DIE

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      August 16, 2013 at 5:00 am | #

      All hail DAB.

    • Corsair114
      Corsair114
      August 16, 2013 at 5:01 am | #

      I do believe the Black Getter Approach to Problem Solving is required here, and if not, it’s getting seriously close to being appropriate.

      http://youtu.be/bkc6E47KBNI

    • David
      David
      August 16, 2013 at 5:42 am | #

      Cyrano de Bergerac?

  88. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    August 16, 2013 at 4:57 am | #

    You may want to assemble a tazer, Dina.

  89. Rachel
    Rachel
    August 16, 2013 at 5:05 am | #

    saaaaaad 🙁 🙁 🙁

  90. Captain Jack
    Captain Jack
    August 16, 2013 at 5:22 am | #

    Fortunately Ruth is just down the hall, so it wouldn’t take long for her to come and tear Blaine and Faz a new one while beating them with their own bloody femurs.
    Or we could get lucky and Sarah comes along and goes Old Testament God on their asses with a baseball bat.
    Or possibly even better, Mike comes along and out-assholes Blaine to the tune of fists to Blaine’s face.

  91. Varangian
    Varangian
    August 16, 2013 at 5:24 am | #

    For some reason, that line about the comics and “you can see why I rarely bother” gave me a horrifying thought: what if Blaine knows about Amazi-Girl? What if he’s the one who taught Amber how to fight, because sure, kid, you want to take down criminals? Hilarious. Let’s see if you have what it actually takes, not like those heroes on your little nerd fantasies.

    Like Big Daddy from Kick-Ass only a thousand times more malignant and doing it solely to amuse himself.

  92. David
    David
    August 16, 2013 at 5:37 am | #

    Now David warned us that in the “bad parenting” department, Joyce’s parents would finish a distant second. Amber’s dad is into an impressive running start, but will he keep the lead? Joyce’s parents are from La Porte, Indiana, home of the famously bad mother Belle Gunness, so they might still have a few trumps in hand.

  93. David
    David
    August 16, 2013 at 5:42 am | #

    Actually, what’s with the votes? One can vote which family we want to meet, but then there is the upload buffer telling us that two months’ worth of comics are already uploaded.

    There are only two explanations: David has uploaded multiple alternative timelines and selects timelines to show based on votes. Or we’re going to meet all of them anyway.

    • mrelegos
      mrelegos
      August 16, 2013 at 9:11 am | #

      Maybe he’s just curious as to which families the readers were interested in so he can tailor future stories for them?

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 16, 2013 at 12:18 pm | #

        Willis is just using the polls to give us an illusion of power. Especially since we’re voting on matters that have already been decided months ago.

        • David
          David
          August 16, 2013 at 1:46 pm | #

          Feels like elections in the real world.

  94. K. Ivan Ruppert
    K. Ivan Ruppert
    August 16, 2013 at 5:46 am | #

    I keep trying to think of worst case scenario, and one I keep coming back to is “Dina’s parents complaining about how disrespectful Amber was towards her father, and how Dina should try to get to know that nice boy Faz better”.

    • Mr. Morningstar
      Mr. Morningstar
      August 16, 2013 at 7:54 am | #

      I think Dinas parents seem to be just as shy as Dina herself. I doubt they’ll speak up. But I don’t think they’re stupid. They’d likely be able to see an abusive father.

      Though wether or not they like faz i dunno. He’s mostly harmless.

      • Volkai
        Volkai
        August 16, 2013 at 9:16 am | #

        I suspect they see Faz as stupid.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        August 16, 2013 at 11:00 pm | #

        I see Blaine rufusing to rein in his very disrespectful-of-their-daughter son as the most likely path to a “Dina’s parents kick Blaine’s ass” scenario.

  95. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    August 16, 2013 at 6:49 am | #

    I know Amber’s mom is “busy” but she’d better hurry up!

  96. Michael
    Michael
    August 16, 2013 at 7:53 am | #

    Willis. Willis. Willis. You just managed to turn me angry. Now, you just need to make me love Faz, and i shalt forever donate you unlimited numbers of cookies.

  97. 90percentgeek
    90percentgeek
    August 16, 2013 at 8:10 am | #

    Just keep repeating “Amzi-girl is immune to criticism.” I find it helps me keep from wanting to punch Blaine’s face on my laptop.

  98. Tomb
    Tomb
    August 16, 2013 at 8:20 am | #

    Actually. I somewhat feel sorry for Faz, being the one who is stuck with Blaine. His behavior in Shortpacked likely resulting from a lack of a good father figure just carries over to Dumbing except he is actually even worse off because his father figure is such a jerk off!

  99. Volkai
    Volkai
    August 16, 2013 at 9:14 am | #

    Okay this Dina/Faz interaction is great. Must see more. Looking for a “Dina destroys Faz” payoff.

    • Volkai
      Volkai
      August 16, 2013 at 9:15 am | #

      Meanwhile, Blaine continues to be a jackass, though seemingly (slightly) less of a horrible person than in his Walkyverse appearances.

      • Boom
        Boom
        August 16, 2013 at 8:53 pm | #

        Mostly because there’s witnesses and he’s a scum-sucking coward.

  100. Daniel Jacobs
    Daniel Jacobs
    August 16, 2013 at 9:35 am | #

    oh wow you had bring her father into play didn’t you!

  101. SomeGuy
    SomeGuy
    August 16, 2013 at 9:35 am | #

    You’d think Faz could pick up on these visual cues if he ever opened his eyes. On the other hand, points to him for getting Dina to emote.

  102. Notebooked
    Notebooked
    August 16, 2013 at 9:37 am | #

    The air in here is lousy with contempt. Dina and Faz are kind of similar in their level of social skills–they’re both bad at reading social cues, but Dina shows respect by backing off whereas Faz has no qualms about steamrollering others to get what he wants. (Which, due to the delicacy required in getting what he wants, means he can’t.)

  103. Dude
    Dude
    August 16, 2013 at 9:43 am | #

    Willis, make it stop. It hurts, and they all had plenty of problems on their own.

  104. AckAckAck
    AckAckAck
    August 16, 2013 at 9:57 am | #

    Plot twist: The Saruyamas are Yakuza members. Things will not end well.

  105. James Rye
    James Rye
    August 16, 2013 at 10:02 am | #

    Call me crazy, but suddenly Joyce’s parents seems less worse. I mean, yeah they are pretty bad, but at least they really do love and care for their daugther unlike this walking piece of shit. Seriously, I would throw him out or excuse myself that I need to go to the toilett and in truth go and scratch his entire car!

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      August 16, 2013 at 2:27 pm | #

      I think this is what’s known as “damning with faint praise”. Joyce’s parents are terrible, terrible people, but yes, that small difference that they were themselves brainwashed into their terribleness sets them above Blaine, who revels in his jerkiness.

  106. The Pink Ninja
    The Pink Ninja
    August 16, 2013 at 10:16 am | #

    Oh my God.

    I am not a fan of either Mike or Ethan but if one of them would lay this douche-berg out they will become my instant fave.

    Although I guess Amazi-Amber could do it herself.

    I also garuntee this shitlord is here for alternate reasons and not to see Amber.

  107. DubstepWraith
    DubstepWraith
    August 16, 2013 at 10:23 am | #

    Oooooh boy, am I the only one who wants to punch Faz in the nuts?

    Not to mention her deadbeat dad.

  108. Acidarms
    Acidarms
    August 16, 2013 at 10:32 am | #

    just want see Dina punch the kid in the face and DINO STOMP him

    • Kirt Dankmyer
      Kirt Dankmyer
      August 16, 2013 at 10:44 am | #

      Ditto! In any case, the dueling social ineptitude between Faz and Dina is AMAZING…

  109. Whittier
    Whittier
    August 16, 2013 at 10:36 am | #

    I don’t know him from any other continuity–why does Faz talk so weird?

    • Kirt Dankmyer
      Kirt Dankmyer
      August 16, 2013 at 10:44 am | #

      That’s just the way he talks. There’s never been a particular *reason* given, other than he’s pretty fucked up.

    • KiTA
      KiTA
      August 16, 2013 at 1:56 pm | #

      I always thought it was because he was borderline autistic.

      • Quitekaiser
        Quitekaiser
        August 16, 2013 at 5:24 pm | #

        Hey! That’s an insult to autistic people.

  110. djaevlenselv
    djaevlenselv
    August 16, 2013 at 10:53 am | #

    I cannot believe this strip actually shows someone more horrible than Faz…

    • Boom
      Boom
      August 16, 2013 at 8:54 pm | #

      It’ll only get worse.

  111. Hylian99
    Hylian99
    August 16, 2013 at 11:11 am | #

    He dies, right? Amber kills him?

  112. Mal
    Mal
    August 16, 2013 at 11:17 am | #

    I know that the expected catch phrase is “Damn you, Willis!”
    But after the week I’ve had, and the sore points in my memory that this comic stirs for me, I was left instead with, “God damn it, Willis.”

    • Notebooked
      Notebooked
      August 16, 2013 at 7:11 pm | #

      A lone renegade fondles his glass of whisky. His bleary eyes focus on a newspaper. Dumbing of Age has taken the top spot in the Daily David, the crown in Willis’ media empire. His lips form words as he squints, then he mutters to himself. “Ruth died in a car crash…? Colliding with Ultra Car?”

      He sinks back and bangs the bar with his glass, the bartender hurrying for another bottle. “God damn it, Willlis.”

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 16, 2013 at 8:46 pm | #

        I’d high five you if I could.

  113. ralpal
    ralpal
    August 16, 2013 at 12:13 pm | #

    This story line is just making more and more uncomfortable as it goes on. I know that Willis has it ready until Oct. but honestly I just want to ignore it for the next few weeks and come back when hopefully things have happened and not just making me feel like curling up and hiding in the closet.

  114. Steve
    Steve
    August 16, 2013 at 1:08 pm | #

    Can he die again already?

  115. MLBlue
    MLBlue
    August 16, 2013 at 3:17 pm | #

    Dang it, I want to know what he told Amber about comics. Im sure its sensible advice that Id totally would want to follow and not an attempt to control every aspect of my life/identity. Also, she could have just said the grappling hook meant that she was a Mabel fan (Gravity Falls).

    • clodia
      clodia
      August 16, 2013 at 4:18 pm | #

      It’s a waste of time, you’re squandering your potential, read real books, don’t be a kid, those are trash, I’ll only let you read those if you read these other books first, etc. What my mom said to me about SF/F. I didn’t get into comic books until college.

  116. Roborat
    Roborat
    August 16, 2013 at 3:42 pm | #

    I agree with the others, it is time for another universe to lose it’s Blaine.

  117. Tufto
    Tufto
    August 16, 2013 at 3:45 pm | #

    Amber seems far more capable of standing up to her father in this universe. Good.

  118. KKoro
    KKoro
    August 16, 2013 at 7:01 pm | #

    I’m actually kind of surprised about the hate Faz is getting here: he’s set next to Blaine, who is actually being abusive, and throughout the webcomic we’ve seen worse behavior from Joe, Ruth, and Billie (possssibly including Sal or Ethan, too), who are generally treated as fan-favorites. He’s hit on Dina in two strips, so far, and the worst part of what he’s doing I can think of is that there’s no reciprocation — he’s not forcing himself on her or seeking to intimidate her, he’s not getting violent, he’s just making some pathetic come-ons.

    Is it because he’s unattractive? Socially immature? He deserves to die for these?

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      August 16, 2013 at 7:06 pm | #

      Well, he was a proven creep in Shortpacked!, so people are just making assumptions.

      • KKoro
        KKoro
        August 16, 2013 at 7:13 pm | #

        Well, sure, but Ethan was a pretty swell guy in Shortpacked!, while in DoA he did a pretty shitty thing before learning that Joyce would be okay with it. I don’t think it’s fair to be saying the kid should die just with what we’ve seen so far.

    • KKoro
      KKoro
      August 16, 2013 at 7:11 pm | #

      For that matter…as abusive as Blaine’s current behavior reminds me of, he’s yet to actually do or have done anything specific that would compare to, say, how the Walkertons treated Sal, how Joyce’s parents treated her, or worst of all, how Danny’s parents treated him. I mean, I’m almost certain evidence of pretty bad neglect or abuse is going to come up soon (damn does he remind me of my father!), but…he can’t fairly be considered the most loathsome character so far, even among the parents.

      Also, does court ordered child support really mean that he was totally unwilling to provide for Amber? I know in my situation at least the money goes toward the mother to be “used in general for the children’s welfare”, not directly to the kids, so it might have been just that he disagreed with doing that or the specific amount.

      Then again, if he does continue to be like my dad, then he probably is a hate-filled monster who deserves no sympathy. It’s just that we’re not certain of that yet, and I kind of hope for Amber’s sake that they are merely estranged, and not fully vitriolic.

      • gears
        gears
        August 16, 2013 at 9:19 pm | #

        The part that did it for me was him saying it was his room. That is textbook control freak behavior.

        • KKoro
          KKoro
          August 17, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

          Control freak, sure, but…until today’s strip, he hadn’t been seen doing anything actually degrading to her like a lot of the other parents had.

          Still, in today’s strip he outright admits to being a monstrous bastard, so wooooo!

    • LiamAldam
      LiamAldam
      August 16, 2013 at 7:45 pm | #

      My guess is that the anti-Faz is currently magnified by pro-Dina.

    • Biege
      Biege
      August 17, 2013 at 2:08 pm | #

      I think its an issue because of the existance of this and shortpacked! – people have an expectation of the character of faz (and blaine) from that universe, and as such are expecting them to act accordingly in this one as well.

      because of that assumption (and that his one redeeming factor in SP was his earnest desire to know his father – something that cannot be present here) people are expecting him to turn on the uncomfortable backstabing stalker creep mode here at any moment – something he is showing hints of

      so a bit unfair, but a risk of the whole double universe thing.

      Blaine, however, proved he was an asshole right from the get-go with the “this is MY room, and how dare they make me pay for it” bs he opened with. that’s not control freak behavour. that’s controlling relationship behaviour.

      also, we don’t know how Sal’s parents treat her yet – we have her own words on it, but that could be biterness or truth, as we haven’t seen it yet. I’m hoping just bad memories on Sal’s part blown out of proportion due to time, because I hope for happy families for at least one character.

  119. KB_SBI
    KB_SBI
    August 16, 2013 at 7:03 pm | #

    Amber should stop arguing an just nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure (maybe stuff Jocye shitty parents in the same room before hand).

  120. Kishimobot
    Kishimobot
    August 16, 2013 at 8:21 pm | #

    Can someone explain what Amber’s dad did in the previous Walky comics that earned him his infamy? Or is he pretty much just an asshole deadbeat dad?

    • Ragnal
      Ragnal
      August 16, 2013 at 9:37 pm | #

      Her dad was a dick to her and her mom, and basically slept around with a lot of women, mostly of the Korean race, as evidenced by Faz, due to him having ties with the Korean mafia.

      I kinda want to see this explored in SP!, actually, like now that the Drama Tag stuff is solved, maybe this could be the next long-arching story?

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      August 16, 2013 at 11:08 pm | #

      The comic never goes into explicit details beyond “abuse,” but Amber was pretty messed up there at the beginning, and given the fact that she’s married to Mike of all people, her current emotional health is debateable, though she’s certainly in a much better place than she was.
      She most I remember ever getting was when he showed up at the store, ostensibly to reconcile, Ethan gave him an “I know what you did,” speech and threw his ass out of the store.

  121. Organs
    Organs
    August 16, 2013 at 10:28 pm | #

    PLEASE tell me Amber’s dad gets his ass handed to him in the next comic! PLEASE make it happen!

  122. Rex Hondo
    Rex Hondo
    August 16, 2013 at 11:11 pm | #

    Dina needs to change tactics, and quick! She can be excused for not knowing, but I’m sure that Faz is familiar enough with Japanese porn to know that a grimace like that is essentially an Asian O-Face.

  123. VZG
    VZG
    August 16, 2013 at 11:46 pm | #

    Y’know, the thing is, he DIDN’T pay for it. HIS money went to her food, health, and other vital needs, which he doesn’t get a say in because they’re, y’know, vital. The rest of it isn’t his money to decide what to do with.

  124. necrobeets
    necrobeets
    August 17, 2013 at 10:47 am | #

    Does this mean Dina is ambers sister

  125. RDW0409
    RDW0409
    August 17, 2013 at 11:17 am | #

    Got to the panel of Faz vs. Dina and actually started slow-clapping alone in my kitchen.

  126. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    August 17, 2013 at 4:51 pm | #

    Blaine, you shouldn’t be so dismissive of comics. If you had read some in your time, maybe you’d have known better than to keep picking on your daughter when her speech balloon turned black. Just saying.

  127. Honsuo
    Honsuo
    August 17, 2013 at 11:44 pm | #

    I hope his death is slow and painful.

  128. tahrey
    tahrey
    October 5, 2013 at 12:36 pm | #

    Blimey. That’s an almost 7-week-duration Brick Joke.

    Nice work, DW.

  129. Cthulhu21
    Cthulhu21
    March 1, 2014 at 1:26 am | #

    Her dads only redeeming feature is his character design.

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...
  • Polls Archive
CONVENTION APPEARANCES


May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

David M Willis! avatar
David M Willis!
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3h
#relatable
header image - a man in a hospital gown says
media.tenor.com
a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
ALT: a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
19
 
reposted by David M Willis!
osmote.net's user avatar
OSMOTE @osmote.net ⋅ 10h
Screenshot of Jonathan Frakes on the set of Beyond Belief
brendelbored.bsky.social's user avatarBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social ⋅ 1y
Politico: Ever been slapped by breasts?
14
269
1162
 
reposted by David M Willis!
joshuajfriedman.com's user avatar
Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com ⋅ 15h
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
The problems with this prosecution are legion, but most immediately, the
government cannot prosecute Judge Dugan because she is entitled to judicial immunity for her official acts. Immunity is not a defense to the prosecution to be determined later by a jury or court; it is an absolute bar to the prosecution at the outset. See Trump v. United States,
603 U.S. 593, 630 (2024).
joshgerstein.bsky.social's user avatarJosh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com

45
754
3383
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
Dumbing of Age: "Up, continued" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomic #webcomics
www.dumbingofage.com
Up, continued
3
5
33
 
reposted by David M Willis!
theonion.com's user avatar
The Onion @theonion.com ⋅ 15h
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
header image - You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
theonion.com
You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
29
246
1698
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 15h
GOTTEM
14
12
106
 
reposted by David M Willis!
parsnip.bsky.social's user avatar
geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
221
607
5474
 
reposted by David M Willis!
aubreygilleran.bsky.social's user avatar
Aubrey Gilleran @aubreygilleran.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
atrupar.com's user avatarAaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 1d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
55
613
2186
 
reposted by David M Willis!
catacalypto.bsky.social's user avatar
Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
1984 calendar meme reading 1529, the year of the first Ottoman siege of Vienna
spavel.bsky.social's user avatarPavel🐀 @spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
19
241
1304
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
*at the very end of Andor, cassian travels through a vortex that makes everyone look a decade younger*
2
2
77
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
(May 14, 2026)
a bemused lucy watches as somebody collapses on her dorm room floor
5
2
43
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
3
2
31
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Dumbing of Age: "Up" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic #dofa
www.dumbingofage.com
Up
2
7
50
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
i mean i... guess there are people who want toy-accurate hyper-articulated original-toy-look guys but in cartoon colors for some reason
3
2
33
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Fuck you, Clayface!!!
6
7
119
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609982... selling my LG34 Mindwipe, minus Servant
header image - Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete | eBay
Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many pro...
1
2
8
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Menace Level: up to date on his vaccinations
3
3
73
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned Gran is back from the grave so she can jerk it to furry porn with her daughter
10
6
62
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609184... 5 hours left on my 4-jet titans return tidal wave
header image - Transformers Siege on Cybertron Titans Return Tidal Wave incomplete, restickered | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers Siege on Cybertron Titans Return Tidal Wave incomplete, restickered | eBay
Check out those stickers. They make him look pretty great, actually. That aircraft carrier mode shines. Tidal Wave is loose and incomplete! So there's only four (4) jets!
1
5
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
confirming that the reason there's been no Galaxy Version female characters in Blokees until now is that they felt they needed to make Round Lady Thighs For Ladies
2
1
33
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "For you" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
For you
3
39
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
y'know there's not an awful lot of rocketeering in The Rocketeer
8
56
 
reposted by David M Willis!
dril.bsky.social's user avatar
wint @dril.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
buddy you came to the wrong ass to fuck
42
1318
6832
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Man if they were arresting judges then this'd be the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard but thankfully that's not happening.
7
24
170
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Stop making the one toy I want the super-expensive chase, Auldey!!!!
3
2
31
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
And that's why you have Jesus wear a condom!
4
4
42
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
It's #webcomicday? We have a special day??? Well, my name is Pat McHoarney and I draw 69 Mouse-Ear Blvd, a multigenerational story about women who all have sexy legs and probably other features. There was a grandmother, but she wasn't hot and so she died off-panel.
18
30
212
 
reposted by David M Willis!
bsweet.bsky.social's user avatar
hoanna newsom @bsweet.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
nytimes.com's user avatarThe New York Times @nytimes.com ⋅ 5d
Elizabeth Holmes is in prison for defrauding investors through her blood-testing company, Theranos. Her partner, Billy Evans, is now trying to raise money for a company that describes itself as “the future of diagnostics.” nyti.ms/3FbtZm9
Elizabeth Holmes and Billy Evans, sitting closely on a couch. A headline reads:
14
300
1819
 
reposted by David M Willis!
chrismcfeely.bsky.social's user avatar
Chris McFeely @chrismcfeely.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
That's the most upsetting LEGO Thing minifig possible
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 3d
LEGO Marvel Studios The Fantastic Four: First Steps Fantastic Four vs. Galactus will release June 1st ($59.99) - bit.ly/3F4uRci #ad
24
32
153
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
what's going on with tariffs right now i dunno, what time is it today
1
2
36
 

©2010-2025 Dumbing of Age | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Privacy Policy | Back to Top ↑