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In “Brokeback Mointain” this is pretty much the way Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist reacted to their first “moment” (except they denied being “queer”). Then they fucked.
I hope this is a joke, perhaps some commenter injoke I don’t get because I don’t read them enough, because no, bi men and women are not straight or gay. They are bi. (there is some space to debate the meaning between bi and pan, but honestly, especially with the way many bi people and bi activists now define bi, as meaning ‘same and different’, that debate is boring)
is it wrong that I just don’t care about people’s sexuality beyond their sexual desire for me? People can be attracted to people, animals, or inanimate objects. They shouldn’t have to excuse or explain themselves and I shouldn’t have to listen to how they are special.
The making and rejecting of advances is fine and normal and we should be focusing on how to not take that personally rather than how to classify people so that we know when it means we’re inferior amongst a population rather than a not in the desired population.
Danny might be into Ethan but hes not sure and has discomfort concerning his identity and reputation were he to explore them. Making an exception to natural proclivities for a single person doesn’t ‘change everything’ even if it is the first step.
There is honestly no way you can argue against that bi means you are both gay and straight at the same time. Seriously. At least if we are talking about bi-sexual. Bi-philia is a different thing, most people are bi-philiacs unless they are total misanthropes. Hmm.. on further review, it seems -philia is not often used in English ? I checked in google translate, and they translate BOTH “homoseksuell” and “homofil” with “homosexual”, even though they have different meanings in Norwegian. “philia” refers to the non-physical love part and “seksuell” refers to the sexual attraction only. So, you can be both a biphile and heterosexual and the same time, or a heterophile and homosexual, etc. How do you distinguish between the two forms of attraction in English ?
It means that bi men are often assumed to be covering up the fact that they are gay, and that bi women are assumed to be doing it for male attention (not to mention non-binary people and pansexuals), where the assumption is that their sexuality is still focused on men. For the love vs sexual attraction in English, most people use hetero/homo/a/pan/etc. -romantic if that isn’t the same as their sexual orientation
To the extent that such distinctions are made, it’s a relatively modern phenomenon, using the suffix -romantic. So that one of my friends is a homoromantic asexual woman; as a woman, she loves other women, but has no desire to get into bed with anyone.
like jon p said, you can distinguish between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. sexual attraction is (basically) who you want to have sex with, while romantic attraction is (basically) who you want a romantic relationship with. for many people, sexual and romantic attraction line up- homoromantic homosexuals, for instance, want sex and relationships with other members of their gender- but this is not always the case- for example, panromantic asexuals want romance but not sex with members of any gender. although i don’t agree that not being biromantic makes you a misanthrope. i’m aromantic, but that just means i don’t feel romantically inclined towards anyone. i still have many fulfilling platonic relationships with friends and family. it’s not that i’m unable to love, i just don’t love in all the ways you do.
We generally divide into sexual & romantic. (Example: someone could be Heterosexual (“straight” – only wants to have sexual relations with opposite sex) AND biromantic (desires romantic interactions with 2 or more genders – cuddling, dates, hand-holding, and other non-sexual romantic relationship things). HOWEVER it sounds like you’re talking about just general desire for friendship & companionship?
I definitely think that’s a third category. I’m heteroromantic, asexual, and desire friendship/general companionship from men AND women. So I think the three things are totally separate categories.
Yes, before people get mad and I get yelled at, it was a joke. At least on my end, I was making what I thought was a fairly obvious joke. I have now learned my lesson though about humor and its evils, and shall live a chaste life in the future.
Because society believes that no one can truly love women if they also love dudes. *nods* That’s why bi girls are never truly lesbians, and bi guys are just doing it so they can “play straight and hold hands with girls in the hallways.”
I may have wanted to slap the Glee writers for making Kurt attack Blaine with that sentence. Rrrgh.
I really, REALLY wish you would see this and come back to this page and define your terms. It’s pretty obvious that you’re using nonstandard definitions, and I don’t think I know what definitions you are using. I’m really curious.
I don’t understand where phallocentrism comes into anything, and I desperately want to know.
No, seriously, somebody explain to Ethan that he can’t make himself attracted to women by sheer force of will, because this thing with him and Joyce is going to end very badly for both of them otherwise.
He MIGHT be biromantic and by that strain could develop romantic attachment to Joyce. But really, I think he’s just a very devoted friend to Amber and blahblahblah.
Anyway, Ethan is gay and maybe he could be genuinely interested in cuddling/dating girls but he only wants to get smoochy and sexy with boys from everything we’ve seen of him. So I think we should stick with his self-definition of gay and leave it at that unless he as a character (or Willis behind the scenes) says otherwise.
To be fair to Danny, all he said was that he’s not gay. He never denied Bisexuality. And that last panel has him looking like he’s wondering wether he is or not. Either way, comparitively speaking, Ethan is the one Danning this up.
Right, but he’s only saying it because he’s reflexively denying same-sex attraction, which isn’t true. Basically, what he’s saying is technically true, but he’s still not being honest.
He’s also like 18. Some kids no early some can’t break through the bullshit of society and stigma to realize the truths about themselves and acknowledge it a lot later. I know college was a big time for me in pushing through this stuff and he’s only been IN college for a month.
Very true! Self-realization and definition can take YEARS. I have a friend who is 26 who always defined herself as bi, and a few months ago she figured out that her appreciation of men was purely aesthetic and that she’s a lesbian (which led to an awkward divorce). It takes TIME and a lot of different situations to really be 100% sure of who you are.
Yeah, Danny is partially at fault here, but he’s not LYING.
Really, I blame the patriarchy. This is actually one of the only comment sections where I think there’s a tiny chance I can write that and people will actually stay with me and read the rest of what I’m writing.
Societal stigmatization of femininity and bi erasure causes a lot of guys to be incredibly insecure about their sexuality. Since mainstream society tells them that if they kiss one guy they’re “gay forever,” bisexual guys often feel like if they admit their attraction to men, they’re basically forced to give up another part of their sexuality that’s important to them.
As cute as yesterday was, it actually makes things more challenging, now that the moment has passed. Spur of the moment chemistry might have carried through uncertainty, but now Danny has had time to focus back on all the internalized patriarchal bullshit he carries around with him, and if Ethan came out right now he’d be doing so after being in an incredibly sexual/romantic situation.
Like, imagine you’re at a crowded party, and some acquaintance accidentally brushes their hand against your butt. This is a thing that happens on crowded dance floors, whatever. But if that person immediately took that opportunity to confess their affection, it’d make a harmless accident feel like a come-on, even if it weren’t meant that way.
If Danny has internalized the whole “liking guys if you’re a guy invalidates your interest in women” stigma that is really common in society, he might think that admitting he likes Ethan makes him “gay,” and he promised Amber he wouldn’t leave her because he was gay. So that’s another layer of pressure.
Basically, Danny’s suffering from the patriarchy in the same way Joyce is suffering from religious stigmatization of sex.
So I am sad but this is also entirely in-character and realistic for both of them.
Bah, that’ll teach me to try to do a quick rewrite before posting… that gorram weren’t/wasn’t error slipped in when I rephrased that sentence. Curse my emotional investment.
As a member of a patriarchal society, a man is expected to behave and conduct himself as a man (as defined by said society). This include his sexual preferences.
One thing that I have always found rather interesting about this topic is how a lot of people claims that only females can be bisexual, while guys are either straight or completely gay.
Was even someone who said that she had learned it from her biology teacher, who said it was biologically impossible for a guy (but not a girl) to be bisexual, which is obviously ridiculus.
Men of old have long since establish the ‘men’s code’, which is considered compulsory for men of that society. Women’s sexual preferences is considered not a threat to the code since they are women, gay men were considered to have revoked their man card and seperated into a seperate group. But bisexual men, who follows and at the same time violates the code, confused the mens black and white definition of the code
And it’s all rooted in the same place. Society defines men as being better than women, so women who “do man things” aren’t viewed as a threat to the status quo. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more power, even if you aren’t going to get it because you were born into servitude!
Gay men and (especially) trans women really screw up that system. Those who legitimately believe that men are better than women by birthright have no course of action beyond hatred – or reconsidering their value system, which is of course unlikely.
And on the other end of the coin, gay women and trans men are commonly dismissed as unimportant – they’re obviously just silly women who haven’t gotten the hang of serving men yet! That goes on to just invalidate and ignore their existences.
Attitudes on bisexuality are just a manifestation of this problem.
They did a study wherein they measured the anatomical arousal response to m/m, m/f, and f/f porn in gay, straight, and bi men and women (six groups x three types of porn = eighteen metrics).
What they found was that bi women generally responded to all of the porn, while bi men generally only responded to the ones with men in them, just like the gay men. There were some men who responded to all of the porn, but mostly they didn’t; I think the number was only 3% did. (Source: The Compass of Pleasure, a book by a leading editor of a neuroscience journal.)
So there is some biological basis for this rumor, but there certainly are genuinely bi men, and at any rate there’s a lot of societal influence, as well.
Correct me if I’m wrong, or if this was a different study, but actually all of the women “responded” to all of the porn, whether or not they reported feeling aroused.
(I remember reading one sociologist suggesting (depressingly) that physiological response to sex might be an evolutionary advatange for women because it makes it easier to survive rough sex (and rape) where a lack of lubrication could lead to bleeding and bleeding to death. It was… memorable, if not necessarily better than interpretations like “WOMEN ARE JUST FLUID” or “WOMEN DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT LOL”)
I would suggest anyway that there could be a simpler socialization explanation for the difference between male and female arousal: namely, women are pretty much FORCED to learn how to empathize and identify with male characters, to see “themselves” in TV shows and movies and books with entirely male characters. Men are, as a gender, not, and are muuuuuuch quicker and louder to complain when some tiny sliver of media asks them to identify with a woman. The number of male players who will willingly choose female video game avatars is small, and when questioned male gamers have proven that they still don’t identify with the characters even when they play as them. An example I remember is that men report that they think of themselves as “helping” or “protecting” Lara on her adventures, not as BEING her.
So… yeah. It just doesn’t surprise me that bi and lesbian (and straight) women can still enjoy sex that doesn’t feature any women. Why not? We are pretty used to finding the enjoyment in stories without us in them.
I tend to take any study about sexuality on the basis of gender with a grain of salt. Men and women do experience sexuality differently, and it probably -is- partially for evolutionary reasons, mostly related to the significantly higher theoretical reproduction rate in men.
But to take something as nuanced as sexuality, which exists so multidimensionally, and try to boil it down to a single axis seems particularly problematic. And when that axis is gender of all things (you know, the amorphous blob that no one really fully understands because everyone experiences it differently, and likely has very little basis in reality), well, it’s really sketchy.
Not to discredit such studies, but they don’t really tell the whole story and are frequently taken as though they do.
I’m pretty familiar with a lot of the relevant research, and I’ll try to sum up some of the general consensus.
First, I believe the study that Chibi is citing was later considered to be flawed, in part because it was a small sample size, and in part because subjects were put into gay/straight/bi categories based on a box they checked. In general, many people admit to mis-reporting in surveys of this type. When someone redesigned the study later with a larger group and a more thorough questionnaire, they got a lot more evidence of male bisexuals who responded physically to both sets of stimuli.
When just measuring biological response to visual stimuli, the majority of women will respond to a wider variety of gender-related stimuli than the majority of men – and while the genders men responded to were often strongly correlated with their described preference, that was less likely to be true for women. This suggests that female sexuality may be less strongly tied to this specific variety of stimulus and response.
So yes, it’s more likely that women will find pictures of people of both genders hot – but that’s not the sole determinant of sexuality. The idea of empathy and identification Li mentioned above has actually been floated in the research as one of many factors that might be in play, but we just don’t know enough.
I don’t think there’s any call to blame the patriarchy.
(Yeah, my reply is very timely)
There’s no need for Danny to be making a value judgement here. He knows that he’s straight. It turns out that knowledge isn’t accurate, but that will take time to process. For the moment, regardless of whether he would mind being gay or bi, he knows he is straight, knows he just experienced attraction to a man, and knows these two facts to be in contradiction. That’s reason enough for an instinctive denial.
I mean, I make the same sort of denial myself at times, albeit only silently in my head. I have . . . well, okay, I do instinctively consider allosexuality slightly inferior, but I make a point to suppress that whenever I catch it. And it’s not a factor when I think “I’m not straight.” I know I’m asexual, and every now and then there’s something that could be taken as evidence otherwise and I have to deny that interpretation because I know it’s wrong. There’s no need for a value judgement.
I’ve never understood how being gay made you “womanlike”. Sex is something men are “supposed” to be into, so what could be more manly than two dudes going at it?
No, according to patriarchal views, sex is an interaction between two roles. One is dominant and the other subordinate. Men are supposed to be dominant. Gay sex requires a man to take a subordinate role willingly. This is unacceptable.
The condemnation of femininity and things that can be perceived as feminine (things like men being attracted to men) tends to be apart of the mo of the patriarchy as well as things like compulsory heterosexuality.
Because the whole idea is that the Patriarchy enforces gender identity and gender roles by oppressing individuals from expressing themselves in ways other than the socially accepted norm. Everything about that post talked about it. O_o Was it not immediately understood?
Yeah, I read the post and was like “Well, obviously. Patriarchy is pervasive and evil, and manifests all sorts of problems.”
But not everyone has internalized how much of a social problem it really is and how interconnected things are, and it just goes to show how far we still have to go. But if people are willing to learn, that’s an important step.
Yeah. To distill it down, the patriarchy is the social structure that says “Gender roles are static, and male qualities are better than female qualities. While it may be marginally acceptable for a girl to do tomboyish things in order to ‘better’ herself, if a guy becomes slightly feminine he’s degrading himself completely.”
The stigma against guys who deviate from gender norms is an inherent part of the patriarchy. When feminists say that feminism helps men too, reducing the stigma against guys being feminine is one of the many things they’re talking about.
I see where you’re coming from with the static gender roles, but I’m curious: in this case (with Ethan and Danny), what female quality do you feel is being suppressed?
@caramelundqueer
Yeah, I read your comment above after posting, and realized that it answers my question. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of “being attracted to a man” as a potential feminine quality earlier – I guess it didn’t cross my mind.
Basically the thinking seems to be “You like guys? Well you know who also likes guys: Women! (Who definitely don’t like other women ever because then where would guys put there dicks?)”
If it seems like a stupid idea to you, that’s because it is
Basically all this comment thread. Willis, thank you – not just for your amazing comic work, but also for this safe space on the internet that is your comment section. I don’t know how much horrible stuff you have to ban from it to make it such a great place, or if your work just attracts the nicest people but… Wow, this is one of the few places on the internet where I can read the comment section without wanting to bang my head against the screen! the racial thing with Sal was an exception to this but still, nicest crowd I have EVER SEEN here
@Bionic_Doctor: Well, at least for me, the subtle racism with the Sal thing was something I had never really seen anyone having a problem with – in fact, I didn’t even KNOW about most of the self-image-for-exhibiting-physical-traits-of-a-certain-race issues that were brought up in that storyline. I’m assuming (btased on the comments) that others were in a similar situation (lack of) knowledge-wise.
Is this really how it still is in the States? I see this popping up every now and then on English-speaking forums, and I know it used to be like that, from reading old books and watching old series/movies, but is it still like that ? If so, I’m really glad I am an Norwegian. Here, I can act as feminine as I want, without anyone either questioning my sexuality or masculinity. Likewise, any woman can act as much as a man as she wants and not experience any negativity because of it. I can’t claim that we don’t have homophobes and overly religious nuts, but they are very few and are always called out on it by others, facing fines and persecution if they are too vocal about their ignorance. (Unless you go too far up the mountain valleys, but they discriminate against people-from-the-next-village as well, so…) I mean, come on, it’s 2014, we have mass media, a shared entertainment culture and the interwebs, there is really is no excuse any more for not accepting a persons individual nature.
As a woman, I sometimes get men angry at me for wearing TROUSERS. And men who do anything feminine – whether it’s a hobby, make-up, having too many female friends, or (heaven forbid!) wearing pink – he can be subject to anything from casual jokes about his sexuality to full on yelling. And in some extreme cases more but yeah.
I’m a little confused (being essentially a male joyce before college), I thought that most of the problem was the strict assignment of gender roles, and people who deviate are “bad”, not that men are better than women.
Sure the gender roles mean that men are better at somethings than women (upper body strength, authority, etc.) but that women are better than men at other things (being pretty [seriously though that’s actually been a thing amongst my friends where we have felt bad about ourselves because men aren’t considered “good looking” by the culture], raising kids, etc.).
Not trying to argue for the patriarchy, just those are the only arguments I know, I would like them to be knocked down by other arguments so that I can know those.
P.S: Can someone explain the difference between -romantic and -sexual? From my (*extremely* little) experience, it seems like the difference between romantic love and familial love is sexuality, e.g. how can someone only have romantic love for men but only be sexually attracted towards women? (is there, like, an article I could read?)
I’d also interested in knowing the difference between being sexually attracted vs pan-romantic. I learned about the different poly relationships there can be, but I didn’t know there could be just romantic interest in someone.
I think it just comes down to those who you feel comfortable (or able) to form emotional bonds with and those you don’t. In the case of the example you provided the individual might completely understand why women are attractive and can desire them sexually but for whatever physical/emotional/personal reason they just don’t have the desire for the bond to go beyond a sexual one. They may just feel more overall compatibility with the male gender or feel that relationship dynamic has more to offer them. However in the case of it being something like a bisexual women desiring relationships with men but not women there’s also the whole possibility of not wanting to deal with the stigma of being in a same sex relationship on a day to day basis. This is not to imply that all bi women who prefer relationships with men feel this way. I happen to be one of those.
I am probably not the best to answer this, so somebody please tell me if I screw it up.
To your first question: Yes, static gender roles mean that men are better at some things, and women at others. But there’s also a tendency to assume that the ‘male roles’ are inherently harder/better/more worthwhile. Going out and getting a job, being the ‘provider’ is better than staying home and taking care of children/taking care of the house (even though childcare is not at all easy).
To your second question: Relationship =/= sex is the simple way to put it. Some people may want to have a relationship (dating, marriage, whatever) but not be interested in sex. The most common time I’ve seen this used is differentiating between aromantic asexual individuals (someone that doesn’t have an interest in sex or a relationship) and hom/bi/hetero/pan-romantic asexuals (someone that is interested in having a relationship, but not in sex). You can basically then use the -romantic to further specify how you identify if you feel just describing sexual orientation isn’t sufficient.
About gender roles: basically female gender roles are considered easy and not worthwhile. Bringing home the bacon is more important than cooking it. Having a carpentry hobby is considered more productive than knitting. Playing soldier is cooler than playing house.
Men are viewed as being stronger, more level headed, etc. Women are weak, emotional, etc.
And since according to some weird sexual binary that is stupid and leads to bad sex, men are “active” in sex and women are “passive” – women don’t have sex, they have sex done to them. So obviously 2 men together means one much be “passive”. Which means he’s weak. Therefore gay men are basically women or some shit. (Homophobia and sexism are both awful and based on very flawed thought patterns, is what I’m saying)
About sexuality vs romance:
Sexuality = I want to trace the lines/curves and do sexy sexy things with you and have you reciprocate those things
Romance = man I wanna take you out to dinner and cuddle on my couch and watch netflix with you and maybe make-out a little
Friendship = we may go to dinner and watch netflix together but we won’t flirt or cuddle or kiss or anything. Friendship is unrelated to sexual and romantic interests, although I know a lot of people’s friend groups are filled with people they considered getting involved with at one point.
Sexuality & Romance have their own spectrums. I have a friend who is a lesbian, but is biromantic (she wants to bang ladies, but likes cuddling and smooching dudes too, just nothing past little pecks on the lips). Someone can be aromantic (don’t form romantic attachments) and pansexual.
I’m demiromantic (I have to know someone really well to have any romantic interest in them), and gray-asexual (a blanket term, but in my case means I don’t find ANYONE particularly bangable, but I do enjoy sex and want to have it), both hetero. (In terms of being hetero-gray-asexual, basically while I don’t find men attractive, I find women distinctly unattractive sexually. The difference between “meh” and “no” basically.)
(Another aspect of romantic vs sexual is what, physically, is attractive. Yeah, romantic attraction isn’t just a personal connection. Essentially, in regards to romance, you’re looking at the face. Sexually, you look at the body. So an asexual person who is romantic will find people with faces they like attractive. A sexual person who is not romantic, they will pursue people with nice bodies with no regards for face. And someone who is both sexual and romantic (aka most people) will look for both in varying degrees depending on their intention. Someone looking for a one-night stand will likely evaluate interest similar to an aromantic sexual while someone looking for a life-partner will search more similarly to a romantic asexual.)
Wow! I can’t believe how many people actually cared enough to answer my question, thanks!
I think I’ve got a better idea of what is meant by the word ‘Patriarchy,’ now too. My previous definition was more centered on deep-rooted system problems (does that make sense?) .I generally concern myself with directly observable cause-and-effect style problems, so subtlety tends to fly over my head. It makes my internal dictionary a lot more literal as well, which isn’t much of a problem in day-to-day life, but not so great for discussing multi-nuanced social issues.
Anyway, sorry for the rambling, and to reiterate again, thanks to everybody for not just yelling at me for my ignorance.
(And another +1 for the good people commenting here. It’s unfortunately rare to see an explanation like this go unchallenged along the lines of ew feminist cooties. Disagreeing is of course fine, but knee-jerk denouncement … isn’t.)
I completely agree. Also, even in a strange world where Danny was completely sure of himself, his sexuality and his feelings for Ethan, if Danny said anything else but refuting being gay right now it could be seen – by the same patriarchal rules – as him questioning Ethan’s manhood.
For all Danny know Ethan is straight (it is the norm, Ethan has a girlfriend and is the ex of Danny’s current kinda-sorta girlfriend). If Danny would make anything at all to imply interest in Ethan it could be seen as him invalidating Ethan’s sexuality, and thus his previous relationship with Amber, and thus be a Really Shitty thing to do towards your kinda-sorta girlfriend’s ex (“yeah, I can see why she broke up with him. He’s totally gay”). And Danny is trying really hard* not to do Really Shitty things.
Patriarchy – destroying budding relationships since forever
*)And because the universe hates him – failing really hard
Wow — I totally missed this way of thinking about the situation. Danny doesn’t know Ethan is gay, of course. And he’s too lacking in self-confidence to trust whatever sense he had in the moment that Ethan was also feeling an attraction . . . This helps a lot. Now I don’t feel so much like Willis is just being mean to the fanbase.
Not sure really if it ought to boil down to Patriarchy so much as Patriarchy might be a valid lens through which to examine it.
Danny’s knee jerk reaction to this incorporates nervousness towards a new side of sexuality; I think this is fairly common really regardless of society at large. He’s got new feelings and which undermine his self-identity. This aspect of sexuality being taboo makes it much harder to come to terms with.
It doesn’t help that he’s also in a relationship with someone he knows has been hurt in the past after her SO making a similar discovery.
Society structure and Danny’s idea of who he should be definitely play into this, but it’s pretty clear he’s content to be “unmanly” in particular ways as well. It’s just as likely that he’s running off of religious reasoning or even just discomfort at realizing a new aspect to himself that he does have to come to terms with, which is pretty inconvient for someone who had his whole life plan laid out ahead of himself only a few weeks ago when he first arrived.
I did expect almost exactly this. But you have to remember, Sir Willis is a storyteller, and is very good at it. So you have to keep the story going, build suspense and expectation, then let them down, do it again, rinse and repeat, go off on a tangent then loop back. Can’t have the climax too soon, after all, that would kill the story.
Speaking to that latter point, was the “wait, what kind of threesome was it” one from this comic, Roomies, or both? Can’t remember, and I suppose we should cleave to Willis’s “separation of universes” rule in the latter case, but I’m still going to consider it converging support all the same.
It’s possible, whether he knows now or get’s surprised later I really don’t think it’s even going to faze him. In fact I really do honestly think that the current Ethan/Danny shipping could be a fake out and that in the upcoming Male/male slipshine he’s going to turn around and sleep with Joe. He’d probably end up with Ethan or Amber in the long run, but college is known for being a time to experiment.
This one is a whole lot more Ethan’s fault really. Dan JUST had his first same-sex attraction ever. He can’t adjust his mental self-image that immediately (and while still turned on). Ethan, though, he’s actually lying, and cheating them both out of a super adorable romance.
Yes he’s bi. But according to his understanding, attraction to other guys is equal to being gay. He have been having heterosexual relationship previously and being bisexual is not an option in his mind yet.
Reminds me of high school cuz I had bananas anytime the cafeteria served them and one friend said “I can’t believe you can just eat bananas like that. Don’t you think people will call you gay?” And I said “I dunno about you, but I’m pretty sure if someone thinks this is gay, they’re not aware that you’re not supposed to “BITE IT OFF. Poor fellas”.
So I didn’t get a chance to post this yesterday given the 1000+ comments, but I noticed something about the current Danny situation.
Steamy Man-On-Dan action is so inevitable that it’s foreshadowed in his NAME.
Danny Wilcox.
Danny Will Cox.
Will Danny c**ks?
Yes, Danny will c**ks.
In any case, just because one hasn’t had sex with both genders doesn’t make them exclusively straight or gay. It’s possible for bisexuals to have only had successful consummated relationships with just one gender, despite having attraction for both.
The Kinsey scale isn’t some end all be all of orientation. Just because he’s only had sex with women doesn’t invalidate what he’s beginning to feel / realize the feelings that have always been there.
I’m bisexual but if we are going to use the scale to label people then I’m homosexual because my experience has only been with men.
This isn’t who I am, because I am interested in the other sex but my confindence is really crappy when it comes to taking to other people. By being a guy, experiencing need for release and knowing that there is less stigma for guys “sleeping” around I have been able to bolster my confindence in persuing sexual release with dudes. I have no hangups against persuing sexual release with women but my lack of confindence does get in the way.
TLDR: Kinsey scale use of the word “or” is more focused on whom you’ve actually mambo’d with as opposed to all those you would like to mambo with
Only if you consider telling the literal truth while purposefully being deceptive not lying.
But then, Danny’s just had this sprung on him (pun intended) and is panicking, while Ethan has known about his sexuality for a while, so there might be some premeditation clause we can pull up to judge the severity of the lies.
It’s my understanding that a transwoman is a woman (even if she has male body parts). Her boyfriend could identify as Queer or Straight or Bi/Pan or whatever he likes.
To clarify, if a man loves a (trans)woman, then that’s not gay. If he was gay, he’d fall in love with a man instead. (Not sure whether your question was a joke or not but I figured I’d explain just in case.)
My understanding is that claiming that a guy is gay for loving a transwoman (because she used to be a man) is like claiming they’re a pedophile because the person used to be a child.
–It’s how they identify now that matters, is what I mean.
Ohh, derp, I missed that this was a response to the Ethan comments above it (I thought it was just a random question about words for attraction in general). Never mind!
Ethan never had sex with another man. Or anyone, really.
He doesn’t weak pink, he doesn’t speak with a lisp, he isn’t flamboyantly gesturing, he doesn’t sashay when he walks, clearly there is no way this cute nice Jewish boy is gay. He likes big bulky robots with lasers and superheroes in skin tight costumes. That’s macho as Randy Savage.
Danny, on the other hand, is into some seriously gay stuff: He likes Dragons, My Little Pony, the new Turtles cartoon, and even girls. Ew. Gay. Seriously, what kind of man is into fantasy stuff and children’s shows? That’s not manly. And his girlfirend is rather butch, like she’s the man in their relationship. He’s gayer than a sunny summer Sunday afternoon with Oscar Wilde.
And he’s rooming with Joe, who has advertised on his clothing that he digs boners. Quite telling, if you ask me.
Ethan isn’t lying to Joyce, he told her he was gay and she decided that she would “help” him resist(read repress) his temptations of being into dudes.
He agrees because he doesn’t want his orientation to be his sole defining factor like it was when his friends and family found out. Here Ethan comes out to Joyce and the four/ five following strips explains their relationship.
What Joyce is trying to do is not good and Sarah has called her on it, You can see that it’s not working for Ethan here, and when he was attracted to Jocelyn when he thought she was Joyce’s brother.
Actually I don’t (what the fuck was I thinking). Instead of having the balls to tell Joyce to her face “This ain’t gonna work.” He decides to roll with it. Fully knowing that Joyce’s efforts are in vain.
Thank you for sharing you reasons with me, and I will follow this up with a longer post when I get home from work. The main gist of what I’m going to say is that both Ethan and Joyce agreed to a bad relationship idea during a period of weakness. As of this comic they both seem blind to the fact that it’s not working and are using each other for their own ends. It’s my hope that Ethan will learn for this particular experience and break his beard relationship with Joyce.
When Joyce and Ethan decide to start their relationship they are both in a period of weakness. Ethan is depressed and has just explained to Amber that he wants to be normal and not have his orientation be what people around him focus on like his family and friends. Joyce has forcibly kissed Ethan and is dismayed by his reaction. This hits her hard since she is still recovering from her attempted rape.
Joyce’s upbringing leads her to seeing Ethan’s orientation as temptations that can be resisted(read repressed/ignored) and latches onto that Link. She agrees to help him in return that he help her to resist her own temptations. To me it seems that she subconsciously knows he won’t try anything and that is what she needs. Sarah calls Joyce on her attempts to change a fundamental part of Ethan, because she can see that this is a bad idea.
Here Joyce gets angry when he shows interest in “girly” things and her upbringing makes her think this can be changed by focusing on “guy stuff”. Two comics later she says that she doesn’t want to change Ethan inside but that they need to wean him off liking guys. Once again not realizing that his orientation is who he is inside, she then suggests that they make out.
Even though Ethan mentions that the goal is to keep them away from temptation, Joyce then goes to Billie and asks how to get to kissing. To me this shows that Joyce wants this to be an actual relationship and she is using Ethan to that end. Ethan on the other hand is using Joyce to pretend to the world that he is straight, but he cannot stop himself from showing attraction to other guys and trying to pursue that. First with Jocelyn thinking she was a man, and currently with Danny.
In the end this relationship is bad for both of them, and hopefully Ethan will see that with this comic and break off what he has with Joyce. He doesn’t need to get with Danny but be true to himself. Joyce also needs to realize that she cannot get what she wants from Ethan and needs to stop trying to change who he is.
This is my reading of the situation between Ethan and Joyce. Neither side is blameless for this bad situation and they both need to take a hard look at their “relationship”. I hope that this changes your mind about Ethan a little bit. If it doesn’t, then so be it and thank you for taking the time to read what I had to say.
I have legitimately been called both “gay” and “whipped” for wanting to spend time with my girlfriend, and for hanging out with female friends. The “you like spending time with women, so you must be gay” argument is one of the most hilarious parts of the patriarchy I’ve experienced.
Wait wait wait. What could possibly be more manly than great big flaming dragons? I challenge that dragons are extremely masculine, and clearly no man infatuated with masculine beings could possibly be gay.
Christ, how far would it set Ethan back if his first receipt of same-sex sexual attention was such aggressive and unprovoked harassment as that? He’d probably be traumatized!
If ever there were a time for Danny to take it slow, this is it. Don’t wanna startle the groundhog before he’s even ready to poke his head out of the burrow.
I thought about that as I was getting ready for bed (not as awkward as it sounds, I swear) — was just to late to pop in and say Danny’s pretty in need of hugs too.
Being bisexual in the closet sucks too ya know. I give Danny the hugs here. Ethan has made his choice to run back into the closet. But a bisexual doesn’t fit in the closet with the rest of the gays sometimes.
I realized that after I got offline last night, and mostly agree. Still give Ethan the hugs, too, because I completely get where he’s coming from. Not entirely sure why I was annoyed with Danny since I more strongly identify with him, at least sexuality-wise.
And he instantly Dans it up again. But that’s okay…for now. I figure this will be a longer personal journey. He’s still got crap to work through with Amber.
No only Ethan is. Danny’s NOT gay. He’s bi and this is (most likely) the first time he’s been aware of his same sex attraction so he’s probably deeply confused but he’s telling the truth as far as he knows it. Ethan’s full blown lying.
Not necessarily. As far as we know this is Danny’s first ever instance of same sex attraction. It’s a lot to ask the kid to be immediately ready to identify as bisexual based on that when he’s probably still trying to wrap his brain around what the hell just happened. I mean the only reason we know for sure he’s bisexual is that we have word of god on our side and human sexuality is a complicated thing. Just because you experience some kind of same sex attraction doesn’t mean you HAVE to identify as anything.
But I guess I’m saying truth is relative based on what you actually know and I mean we have the luxury of knowing the absolute truth of Danny’s sexuality. Danny’s still figuring this shit out.
Oh god I’m just babbling at this point. It all makes sense in my head and then I try typing.
Yes but like I said earlier we have word of god that he’s bi. If we didn’t have this we could all feel free to speculate and straight with an exception is totally a thing but it’s already been stated by Willis that (spoiler alert for not actually spoilers just facts at this point) he’s bi.
Actually both. Danny’s obviously not gonna own up to being bisexual anytime soon. Hell, I doubt if he even knows the word well enough to understand how it applies to him.
I know, right??? It’s been mainly Ethan’s smiles that have gotten me on this ship — I mean, over this entire sequence, look at how he *lights up*, what a difference there is from how sad he usually looks.
Ten bucks says they both go back to their dorms and bash their heads against the wall until they meet at the halfway point between their chosen head-clonkin’ walls.
And when there’s head trauma, falling asleep is the worst thing. Hmmm…Just what can these two do to keep themselves occupied so they don’t fall asleep…
“I just like to clarify this sometimes cuz otherwise, how would anyone know?”
“Right? Only a straight guy’d bring that outta the blue like that, haha ha ha” “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
“I’m sorry…but you have terminal Danning… Have you been in close quarters or physical contact with a Danny, or someone you believe has also been Danning it up?”
I forget — do Danny and Ethan live on the same floor? Are they likely to run into each other while going to or from the shower? In towels? That would be beautifully awkward and probably adorable.
I’ll take that bet. No way is Danny that quick to come to terms with his new sexual identity. I think there will be way more Will-They-Won’t-They and general freaking out first.
I remember there was a sketch comedy TV show here in Australia with a character who kept saying “I’m not gay”, but then he would go on a tangent about naked Greek wrestling or fellate a sausage.
And as usual, Danny is too wrapped up in his own shit to piece together the problems of those he cares about. We’ve gone from “Danny doesn’t notice his girlfriend’s palpable discomfort over being followed to college” to “Danny doesn’t notice his girlfriend is also Amber” to “Danny doesn’t notice his crush is gay.”
Guess Danny hasn’t learned as much about himself as we’d like.
Except it’s been like a month now? And his refusal to notice other people’s crap has ended one relationship and put a serious dent in another.
In fact, in hindsight, Danny’s refusal to get involved without all the facts was basically just him actively doing what does passively constantly–just ignoring the problem. Which has, as evidenced by his encounter with Sal, potentially blotched things even worse.
*This a lot for a guy to handle in a month**
Man, I’m 20 and I probably haven’t dealt with this much drama in 10 months, let alone 1. Danny’s the kinda guy who’s walking ass backwards through life, since his life plan went down the drain way back in book 1. I can’t really knock many of the decisions he’s made based on the information he’s had at any particular moment.
B: What would you say my lord if I were to say, “I love you”.
E: Um, well of course it depends entirely on whom you said it to. If
you said it to a horse I would presume you were sick, if you said it
to Baldrick I would presume you were blind and if you said it to me,
well…
B: Yes, my lord?
E: Well, well I’d naturally assume we were having a big lads joke about
back-tickle as the way we healthy fellows often do and I’d probably
grab you for a friendly wrestle and then we’d probably slap each
others sides like jolly good chums and laugh at what it would be
like if we really did fancy each other.
Man its almost like the universe is trieing to put those two through weird awkward moments for some kind of entertainment, and when I say the universe I mean Willis and us.
I find it to be an indie type sitcom almost. And like anything indie, it seems a bit hipsterish, because hipsters are the most exaggerated indie. At least, in my experience.
I would call the early stuff “hipsterish”, if only because so many jokes revolved around obscure indie band references. The later stuff much less so, though.
Danny closed his legs so daintily, Ethan was right to call him adorable.
This about what I expected to happen, and I’m glad that it’s happening. This will give Danny time to sort out his relationship with Amber, sort out his own feelings, etcetera.
I predict that Amber will be the one to tell him that Ethan is gay. Since Ethan himself is kind of… lying. Poor dears, so lovable yet so frustrating and awkward.
But the biggest mystery I see is what if Ethan and Danny do end up together? with the massive chain of Amber breakdowns in a matter of minutes, could she handle her ex boyfriend and best friend taking her current boyfriend ?
But I AM imagining a conversation in which Danny comes out to Amber and it’s AMAZING. “Remember how you asked if I was straight? Well… I’m not. I think I’m actually… bisexual. I was hanging around with your ex and….”
I don’t know if it will happen that way, but if it does–oh, the reaction faces! and the Danny-blushing! Traumatic, but adorable.
Of course it’s not, I just sigh and facepalm anew every time he does it.
Danny I’ll cut some slack on since he literally just realized he might be into dudes like, ten seconds ago at most, but Ethan… Oh, Ethan. This is going to end so, so poorly for you.
To everyone baying for a make-out session – have you ever made out in public with someone, knowing you might well do emotional harm to one or more people you cared about? Pretty sure Willis isn’t out to make either Ethan or Danny outright heartless lustful idiot jerks.
Ugh, I am sort of super torn, this development is totally delightful but at the same time I’m sort of a huge Danber shipper and sort of super want them to work out and I don’t see a way this resolves without at least one (if not all) of them getting hurt.
Well, I posted about this at great length in the last strip’s comments, but if everyone openly and honestly talked about their feelings with each other, I don’t see any reason why Amber/Danny/Ethan couldn’t work out as a triad. There’s decent foreshadowing that Amber might be into it.
So I do see a way this could resolve happily, but since it involves everyone in question actually admitting to their feelings… it is INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY.
Plus Danny is naturally very monogamous. (I used to date a dude like that; he was deeply convinced that he’d eventually have to loyally choose between the two ladies and commit to just one, did not want threesomes with anyone, etc.) Just like not everyone wants to be monogamous, some people are just not wired for poly relationships.
Pretty much exactly what I expected to happen, given how Ethan and Danny are incredibly shy and incredibly unlikely to cheat on their girlfriend, respectively. ^^
Of course, while Ethan can probably keep himself uncomfortably closeted for who-knows-how-much-longer to fit in, I’d bet Danny’s probably only going to let this fester for like a day or so and then blab about his newfound sexuality crisis to the first person he can get to listen to him. Like poor Joe and Amber!
I think Joe would handle the situation much better, he’d probably comfort him and then tell him to own it like a man, which is good because I’m pretty sure at some point during this crisis he’s going to need to be reminded that he still is.
I dont know, lately Joe’s response to anytime Danny is feeling lost or looking for advice has been “be an asshole”, so idk if he would be a very good support for something as sensitive as Danny’s sexual identity.
This comic is mainly why I think he’d be supportive, in fact I actually think this comic was made to be foreshadowing their inevitable conversation on the subject.
Well, I don’t think Joe’s necessarily homophobic, but he has taken a negative tone in the past whenever suggestions to that effect came up concerningDanny in particular.
Either way—Danny’s PO’d at Joe right now, so I don’t know if he’d necessarily be his first choice for Danny to discuss newly discovered bisexual leanings. The only problem with that is, that besides Joe, Danny really doesn’t have that many other people he can talk to honestly (or dishonestly, really) in the first place. Besides, like, Ethan. And Amber…
I think it’s just affection. Considering how much he tries to not think about other guys’ boners (which my kindle keeps changing into “no need”), I don’t think that would be the look on his face if he had noticed it.
I could believe momentary appreciation before realizing what he’s doing. And the next words out of his mouth were to say he wasn’t gay. On the other hand, I’d also expect Willis to give us a blush to make it clear.
I could see Danny opening up to Dorothy. I mean it will probably take a lot to get him to that point but she’s (likely) the most level headed and least judgmental person he knows. She’d be a safe person to talk this through with.
I doubt he will, because dorothy is a lady, and he’s clearly insecure enough to have to deny his gayness out loud
I don’t think he’ll talk to anybody about it for a while
I dunno, in my personal experience, Kerry, guys who have had emotional issues they’re very sensitive about tend to talk to their most trusted female friends instead of their male friends.
–trying to figure out what gesture Ethan is making in the last panel
–“hey sailor, room for one more in this closet?”
–God damn it Danny
–going by Ethan’s pose in the last panel I’d say he’s hiding a bit of wood, himself
–calling it now, in the next strip neither one of them will help each other up in order to avoid touching hands. Alternately, additional awkward will ensue when said hand-touching occurs and goes on a little too long.
if only he did…but i guess his alter ego is a 20 something year old college senior who is a professional yoyo player and a jazz music enthusiast if i’m actually an alter ego for Willis…which would confuse me…because i’m fairly certain i’m not Willis…i think…
I wonder how long it’ll take Danny to come to terms with this. I also wonder if Amber will tell him about Ethan, and how Danny would react to learning about Ethan’s sexuality.
As a member of a patriarchal society, a man is expected to behave and conduct himself as a man (as defined by said society). This include his sexual preferences.
OOh, and Danny takes a swift lead in the race to fuck up the blossoming relationship. They were neck and neck there for a while folks, but don’t count Ethan out of it yet; there’s still time for this to get Much worse
Man, I really hope this doesn’t turn out terribly, because I can definitely see the shape of a story where Danny ends up becoming intensely afraid and homophobic and ends up seriously hurting or killing Ethan.
Um, have you been reading this comic? Leaving aside the fact that Willis has outright said that there will be no deaths because the pacing means it would result in months and months real-time of grieving in comics, that would be totally OOC for Danny.
Dumbing Of Age is easily one of my top 5 webcomics (out of over a hundred)… but for such a progressive and socially aware strip, it’d be really nice to see a dude who was into dudes and COMFORTABLE with the fact, y’know?
Yeah, I’m very appreciative that gay characters are getting face time but it would be nice if they also didn’t always come with horrible, life scarring trauma specifically because of their gayness. Shit like that is why I’m afraid of straight people. My brain is convinced if I let people know I’ll end up homeless, disowned and gay bashed. Because that’s what every single depiction of people like me has shown me.
??? Jocelyne is 100% in the closet when it comes to how she has to present herself in public. We don’t know if she ever presents as her true gender to anyone outside of her blog.
If that’s your definition of a trans person doing great, I’d be scared to see your version of a trans person doing poorly.
It’s funny you say that, because while thinking about directions this could go I wondered if Danny might realize he’s okay with this pretty quickly (queue Joe making some sarcastic remark about how obvious this is) and be totally out as bi, and give Ethan the impetus to stop lying.
Could be Danny’s into both guys and girls, but hasn’t really admitted it to himself or something like that. Who knows? Maybe there’ll be an Ethan and Danny awwww moment at some point.
Wonderful comic. This hits so close to home for me because I would have and did do the exact same thing when I was their age. Even now, years after being completely out as gay, I’m still terrified of expressing any interest unless I know well in advance that the other man is gay. You capture that so well and it hits even deeper because it’s on both sides, though the details are a little different than what I’ve faced.
So many people face tons add fear, doubt, and confusion with their sexuality and I hope such a great portrayal of that helps people understand why it’s so important to be completely and totally accepting without caveat or exception.
Also, long time reader, first time commenter and all that jazz. Thanks for such great comics! I love all your stuff!
C’mon, guys, did you seriously not see this coming? Of course it wasn’t gonna be that easy–it’s a Willis comic!
On a more serious note, c’mon, Danny realizing something about himself doesn’t mean he’s going to be immediately comfortable with that fact. I realized in high school that I also found dudes attractive, but denied that fact to myself and even thought myself “disgusting” for feeling it. Only toward the end of college did I finally admit it to myself and start accepting it, and even then PUBLIC admission doesn’t immediately follow.
Danny spend most of his life assuming he was straight. Ethan is trying to toss himself back into the closet. Of course it’d be this way, for now.
I am a little worried that Dan will distance himself from Ethan because he’s having a big crisis right now and is in gay panic (bi panic?) mode and Ethan will think he lost a friend because Dan figured out he (Ethan) is gay.
In which Danny acts the same way I would have if this situation had ever happened to me in my first year if college.
Danny’s representation if me continues to climb
I knew that would happen. Danny’s going to be confused for a while, and being Danny he’ll probably have at least two major freak outs and at least one big talk with Joe or Dorothy before he accepts it himself let alone does something about it. Dude’s still also technically with Amazi-Girl right now so nothing outside the imagination wold have been good.
I do wonder if Ethan would have still lied if Danny had come out to him? Despite all his protestations of wanting a straight image whenever he locks onto a dude he finds attractive he seems to genuinely pursue them until he hits awall.
nah, he only just noticed the coats and jackets hanging and is freaking the fuck out because he’s sure those weren’t there before. But one or two feeling jams later he’s totally going to realize that being unable to unsee the clothes hanging around him means he is in fact inside a closet and that it is indeed a situation he might have to do something about
that analogy got out of my hands and became a total trainwreck goddammit i mean he’s too confused to be considered closeted yet
I was gonna say that I think to many people are focusing on the technicalities of whether Danny lied, but then I saw a bunch talking about Danny boners. Like, is that all that happened here? No “DON”T DENY YOU’RE FEELINGS ZOMG” stuff? If there is, I can’t find it.
Ethan is the cutest guy in this whole comic. However Danny has the cutest reactions. Sigh
Sometimes I wish this was animated. I wanna marathon the whole thing, but too poor for books and internet sucks too bad for tablet. Plus hearing the voices would be awesome.
He’s not “closing his legs” in that sense, you pervs. He’s very uncomfortable in this situation. His body language demonstrates his discomfort in this situation, it’s the unconscious protection of the body from a “threat” by pulling of the limbs.
At first Danny didn’t close his legs in this strip, he kept his legs splayed open. Then a day or so later I was like, okay, ha ha ha ha, no, he’s probably got a huge embarrassing life-changing boner. Self, you know how boners work, c’mon. And so I redrew the last two panels so his legs were together.
Kinda makes it sound like his boner wanders the highways, helping people.
‘Oh, how wrong I’ve been, spending all my time at the office and ignoring my wife and children. Thank you, Danny’s Boner…if not for you I’d have continued wasting my life!’
*Danny’s Boner hops off into the sunset as touching music plays.*
This is a thing: http://davewillis.org/ Not OUR DW. And someone who might take a bit more umbrage at #damnyouwillis – but he seems like a decent fellow, if you’re into that sort of thing.
It doesn’t look particularly like her…and since Kari’s husband is named Paul Urich, not David Willis, well, I don’t think she’d be advertizing it if she were having Mr Willis’s baby.
Ethan, who is feigning heterosexuality and dating a sheltered fundamentalist who wants to marry him and have his babies, had just flopped on top of Danny, who is the recently-unveiled-as-bisexual would-be boyfriend of Ethan’s traumatized vigilante ex-girlfriend, who tentatively began to take interest in Danny despite the insecurities she was left with after Ethan dumped her either after or during failed sex because it turns out he’s gay.
And in the midst of this gordian knot of neuroses, Danny has -also- been hanging out with Sal, the person responsible for the trauma that turned Amber into a vigilante to begin with.
This situation is as far from neatly wrapped up as it could POSSIBLY BE.
i guess you could say the situation is wrapped up, in a sense…if “wrapped up” means “several characters are trapped together in a box of drama, identity crisis, and ptsd”
You get a kick out of doing this, don’t you? Like, I can see you when you’re drawing, laughing maniacally to yourself, thinking of all the disappointment and misery you bring to your fans, don’t you? “I’m gonna give them this hot scene, juuuust enough to wet their appetite, and then, YOINK! No sexy-times for you! Bahahahahaha!”
In the Buffy comics, I remember when Buffy had a lesbian affair with one of her Slayer students. One of the running gags was Buffy kept insisting it was a one-time thing before going to have sex with her again. That’s what should happen here.
turbanous I have no idea what you said but it sounds too complicated. So as far as I’m concerned Ethan’s an idiot and I ship Joyce with Emperor Kiva (myself). If that’s ok with you. Wait, why the hell do I need your permission, to do so.
I ship Joyce with me, because both I can love her and help her with her temptations, and I believe in everything. Angels, demons, monsters, aliens, and other universes. Plus she could do the same for me. So I think we’ll get along just fine.
Danny’s reaction is actually really sad… I’d think anyone would be embaressed if someone else fell on top of them like that, but to immediately ball up defensively both in his position and mentally shows that he’s had a very unhealthy exposure to hatred of anything non-heterosexual. I’m guessing his parents are Fox News watching Republicans, or who might not be outwardly hateful but still ‘tsk-tsk’ at how all the gays are going to regret their “chosen lifestyle” when they burn in hell for eternity.
I think you’re reading into it a little too much. I’m the first person to agree that LGBTQ get’s short shrift in a lot of modern society, but this… I think this is a pretty typical, normal reaction for a lot of people facing a pretty serious realization about themself.
I don’t think we can assume that Danny’s curling up is to do unhealthy exposure to something non-heterosexual. Its more that he is realizing that he has these “new”(ie always there but not necessarily noticed) feelings, and most likely a surprise boner. Around 18 surprise boners can be embarrassing especially in a situation like this.
Willis himself said that this is basically the case up higher in the comments.
Definitely in character…Especially since he has reason to believe that Ethan is straight, with the whole Joyce thing. I’m really hoping this works out for them! And to anyone saying “There is too many queer people” I have to say why is this a problem? Why does this bother you? They’re just people so sit down and enjoy the comic.
I really want Ethan to find someone… but this is going to be the SECOND guy Amber is going to get close to and lose (provided the adorable senario-Im not gay I’m not gay either jk I’m totally gay for you sexy times- in my head plays out!) And if this happens… what is Amber’s reaction going to be??? The two guys she’s fallen for have gotten together! I WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY. S TOP THIS.
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it!
also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
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btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
Josh Gerstein@joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore.
theonion.com/you-can...
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908.
"You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Josh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Pavel
@spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
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Disappointing.
Willis giveth and Willis taketh away.
This is only the BEGINNING.
When Joyce and Ethan break up, Danny will rush forward and confess his love, and what we desire shall become reality.
Joyce x Amazi-Girl?
Hell with that. I’m hoping for the most awkward, confused Polyamorous Triad in history.
why stop there? Just make full-on orgy of awkward and Danning. It’ll be fun. There will be Dr. Pepper and tissues.
also a crying room.
In “Brokeback Mointain” this is pretty much the way Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist reacted to their first “moment” (except they denied being “queer”). Then they fucked.
From dust your ship was made and unto dust it shall return.
Blessed be the name of the Prime Minister, uh, I mean, Willis…
“I am definitely not gay, and am definitely not crossing my legs because of a boner or anything.”
Oh good, someone else caught that too. ^_-
Whew! Well now that’s settled, and we know that niether of them is gay. Close one there.
Except. . . they’re both BI!
Bi guys are still gay.
Bi girls are still straight.
The nomenclature is phallocentric.
Bi guys are neither gay nor straight. This is a different thing.
I hope this is a joke, perhaps some commenter injoke I don’t get because I don’t read them enough, because no, bi men and women are not straight or gay. They are bi. (there is some space to debate the meaning between bi and pan, but honestly, especially with the way many bi people and bi activists now define bi, as meaning ‘same and different’, that debate is boring)
They’re not saying what they think but how society views it, I believe.
is it wrong that I just don’t care about people’s sexuality beyond their sexual desire for me? People can be attracted to people, animals, or inanimate objects. They shouldn’t have to excuse or explain themselves and I shouldn’t have to listen to how they are special.
The making and rejecting of advances is fine and normal and we should be focusing on how to not take that personally rather than how to classify people so that we know when it means we’re inferior amongst a population rather than a not in the desired population.
Danny might be into Ethan but hes not sure and has discomfort concerning his identity and reputation were he to explore them. Making an exception to natural proclivities for a single person doesn’t ‘change everything’ even if it is the first step.
There is honestly no way you can argue against that bi means you are both gay and straight at the same time. Seriously. At least if we are talking about bi-sexual. Bi-philia is a different thing, most people are bi-philiacs unless they are total misanthropes. Hmm.. on further review, it seems -philia is not often used in English ? I checked in google translate, and they translate BOTH “homoseksuell” and “homofil” with “homosexual”, even though they have different meanings in Norwegian. “philia” refers to the non-physical love part and “seksuell” refers to the sexual attraction only. So, you can be both a biphile and heterosexual and the same time, or a heterophile and homosexual, etc. How do you distinguish between the two forms of attraction in English ?
It means that bi men are often assumed to be covering up the fact that they are gay, and that bi women are assumed to be doing it for male attention (not to mention non-binary people and pansexuals), where the assumption is that their sexuality is still focused on men. For the love vs sexual attraction in English, most people use hetero/homo/a/pan/etc. -romantic if that isn’t the same as their sexual orientation
To the extent that such distinctions are made, it’s a relatively modern phenomenon, using the suffix -romantic. So that one of my friends is a homoromantic asexual woman; as a woman, she loves other women, but has no desire to get into bed with anyone.
like jon p said, you can distinguish between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. sexual attraction is (basically) who you want to have sex with, while romantic attraction is (basically) who you want a romantic relationship with. for many people, sexual and romantic attraction line up- homoromantic homosexuals, for instance, want sex and relationships with other members of their gender- but this is not always the case- for example, panromantic asexuals want romance but not sex with members of any gender. although i don’t agree that not being biromantic makes you a misanthrope. i’m aromantic, but that just means i don’t feel romantically inclined towards anyone. i still have many fulfilling platonic relationships with friends and family. it’s not that i’m unable to love, i just don’t love in all the ways you do.
We generally divide into sexual & romantic. (Example: someone could be Heterosexual (“straight” – only wants to have sexual relations with opposite sex) AND biromantic (desires romantic interactions with 2 or more genders – cuddling, dates, hand-holding, and other non-sexual romantic relationship things). HOWEVER it sounds like you’re talking about just general desire for friendship & companionship?
I definitely think that’s a third category. I’m heteroromantic, asexual, and desire friendship/general companionship from men AND women. So I think the three things are totally separate categories.
way to take things waaaaaay too seriously
Bi is attracted to both men and women. Pan is attracted to satyrs, cooking utensils, and residents of Neverland.
Ew on that last one. You couldn’t have just said, “Pirates with dashing prosthetics”?
Yes, before people get mad and I get yelled at, it was a joke. At least on my end, I was making what I thought was a fairly obvious joke. I have now learned my lesson though about humor and its evils, and shall live a chaste life in the future.
Please stop that, we already get enough sexual categorization apologist speeches via Willis and the comic itself.
We do not need to become Tumblr here.
Indeed. Quite the sad state of affairs, isn’t it?
Because society believes that no one can truly love women if they also love dudes. *nods* That’s why bi girls are never truly lesbians, and bi guys are just doing it so they can “play straight and hold hands with girls in the hallways.”
I may have wanted to slap the Glee writers for making Kurt attack Blaine with that sentence. Rrrgh.
I really, REALLY wish you would see this and come back to this page and define your terms. It’s pretty obvious that you’re using nonstandard definitions, and I don’t think I know what definitions you are using. I’m really curious.
I don’t understand where phallocentrism comes into anything, and I desperately want to know.
There’s no evidence I’ve seen that Ethan is bi. If he were, he’d probably have become involved with Amber.
Unless he really is just her friend? Heaven knows, teenagers confuse friendship for romance all the time without any question of sexuality.
Except they dated, so clearly their relationship extended past friends. Ethan is gay, not bi. He has zero sexual interest in Joyce for instance.
Tell that to Ethan.
No, seriously, somebody explain to Ethan that he can’t make himself attracted to women by sheer force of will, because this thing with him and Joyce is going to end very badly for both of them otherwise.
He MIGHT be biromantic and by that strain could develop romantic attachment to Joyce. But really, I think he’s just a very devoted friend to Amber and blahblahblah.
Anyway, Ethan is gay and maybe he could be genuinely interested in cuddling/dating girls but he only wants to get smoochy and sexy with boys from everything we’ve seen of him. So I think we should stick with his self-definition of gay and leave it at that unless he as a character (or Willis behind the scenes) says otherwise.
Danny in a nutshell.
To be fair to Danny, all he said was that he’s not gay. He never denied Bisexuality. And that last panel has him looking like he’s wondering wether he is or not. Either way, comparitively speaking, Ethan is the one Danning this up.
Right, but he’s only saying it because he’s reflexively denying same-sex attraction, which isn’t true. Basically, what he’s saying is technically true, but he’s still not being honest.
He’s also like 18. Some kids no early some can’t break through the bullshit of society and stigma to realize the truths about themselves and acknowledge it a lot later. I know college was a big time for me in pushing through this stuff and he’s only been IN college for a month.
Very true! Self-realization and definition can take YEARS. I have a friend who is 26 who always defined herself as bi, and a few months ago she figured out that her appreciation of men was purely aesthetic and that she’s a lesbian (which led to an awkward divorce). It takes TIME and a lot of different situations to really be 100% sure of who you are.
DAMN YOU WILLIS
GODDAMIT ETHAN.
GODDAN IT DANNY.
Yeah, Danny is partially at fault here, but he’s not LYING.
Really, I blame the patriarchy. This is actually one of the only comment sections where I think there’s a tiny chance I can write that and people will actually stay with me and read the rest of what I’m writing.
Societal stigmatization of femininity and bi erasure causes a lot of guys to be incredibly insecure about their sexuality. Since mainstream society tells them that if they kiss one guy they’re “gay forever,” bisexual guys often feel like if they admit their attraction to men, they’re basically forced to give up another part of their sexuality that’s important to them.
As cute as yesterday was, it actually makes things more challenging, now that the moment has passed. Spur of the moment chemistry might have carried through uncertainty, but now Danny has had time to focus back on all the internalized patriarchal bullshit he carries around with him, and if Ethan came out right now he’d be doing so after being in an incredibly sexual/romantic situation.
Like, imagine you’re at a crowded party, and some acquaintance accidentally brushes their hand against your butt. This is a thing that happens on crowded dance floors, whatever. But if that person immediately took that opportunity to confess their affection, it’d make a harmless accident feel like a come-on, even if it weren’t meant that way.
If Danny has internalized the whole “liking guys if you’re a guy invalidates your interest in women” stigma that is really common in society, he might think that admitting he likes Ethan makes him “gay,” and he promised Amber he wouldn’t leave her because he was gay. So that’s another layer of pressure.
Basically, Danny’s suffering from the patriarchy in the same way Joyce is suffering from religious stigmatization of sex.
So I am sad but this is also entirely in-character and realistic for both of them.
Bah, that’ll teach me to try to do a quick rewrite before posting… that gorram weren’t/wasn’t error slipped in when I rephrased that sentence. Curse my emotional investment.
As a member of a patriarchal society, a man is expected to behave and conduct himself as a man (as defined by said society). This include his sexual preferences.
This reply missed the post it supposed to respond to.
A man is defined by what he does.
A woman is defined by what she is.
A man constantly has to prove that he is a man.
A woman has to have ovaries.
It’s a conspiracy!
(And Danny is totes lying. Because he can’t bear to disappoint a woman. Goddess damned patriarchy! It’s a conspiracy I tell you! A conspiracy!)
I think it’s generally accepted around here that Danny’s problem is Danny.
One thing that I have always found rather interesting about this topic is how a lot of people claims that only females can be bisexual, while guys are either straight or completely gay.
Was even someone who said that she had learned it from her biology teacher, who said it was biologically impossible for a guy (but not a girl) to be bisexual, which is obviously ridiculus.
Men of old have long since establish the ‘men’s code’, which is considered compulsory for men of that society. Women’s sexual preferences is considered not a threat to the code since they are women, gay men were considered to have revoked their man card and seperated into a seperate group. But bisexual men, who follows and at the same time violates the code, confused the mens black and white definition of the code
And it’s all rooted in the same place. Society defines men as being better than women, so women who “do man things” aren’t viewed as a threat to the status quo. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more power, even if you aren’t going to get it because you were born into servitude!
Gay men and (especially) trans women really screw up that system. Those who legitimately believe that men are better than women by birthright have no course of action beyond hatred – or reconsidering their value system, which is of course unlikely.
And on the other end of the coin, gay women and trans men are commonly dismissed as unimportant – they’re obviously just silly women who haven’t gotten the hang of serving men yet! That goes on to just invalidate and ignore their existences.
Attitudes on bisexuality are just a manifestation of this problem.
They did a study wherein they measured the anatomical arousal response to m/m, m/f, and f/f porn in gay, straight, and bi men and women (six groups x three types of porn = eighteen metrics).
What they found was that bi women generally responded to all of the porn, while bi men generally only responded to the ones with men in them, just like the gay men. There were some men who responded to all of the porn, but mostly they didn’t; I think the number was only 3% did. (Source: The Compass of Pleasure, a book by a leading editor of a neuroscience journal.)
So there is some biological basis for this rumor, but there certainly are genuinely bi men, and at any rate there’s a lot of societal influence, as well.
Correct me if I’m wrong, or if this was a different study, but actually all of the women “responded” to all of the porn, whether or not they reported feeling aroused.
(I remember reading one sociologist suggesting (depressingly) that physiological response to sex might be an evolutionary advatange for women because it makes it easier to survive rough sex (and rape) where a lack of lubrication could lead to bleeding and bleeding to death. It was… memorable, if not necessarily better than interpretations like “WOMEN ARE JUST FLUID” or “WOMEN DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT LOL”)
I would suggest anyway that there could be a simpler socialization explanation for the difference between male and female arousal: namely, women are pretty much FORCED to learn how to empathize and identify with male characters, to see “themselves” in TV shows and movies and books with entirely male characters. Men are, as a gender, not, and are muuuuuuch quicker and louder to complain when some tiny sliver of media asks them to identify with a woman. The number of male players who will willingly choose female video game avatars is small, and when questioned male gamers have proven that they still don’t identify with the characters even when they play as them. An example I remember is that men report that they think of themselves as “helping” or “protecting” Lara on her adventures, not as BEING her.
So… yeah. It just doesn’t surprise me that bi and lesbian (and straight) women can still enjoy sex that doesn’t feature any women. Why not? We are pretty used to finding the enjoyment in stories without us in them.
I tend to take any study about sexuality on the basis of gender with a grain of salt. Men and women do experience sexuality differently, and it probably -is- partially for evolutionary reasons, mostly related to the significantly higher theoretical reproduction rate in men.
But to take something as nuanced as sexuality, which exists so multidimensionally, and try to boil it down to a single axis seems particularly problematic. And when that axis is gender of all things (you know, the amorphous blob that no one really fully understands because everyone experiences it differently, and likely has very little basis in reality), well, it’s really sketchy.
Not to discredit such studies, but they don’t really tell the whole story and are frequently taken as though they do.
I’m pretty familiar with a lot of the relevant research, and I’ll try to sum up some of the general consensus.
First, I believe the study that Chibi is citing was later considered to be flawed, in part because it was a small sample size, and in part because subjects were put into gay/straight/bi categories based on a box they checked. In general, many people admit to mis-reporting in surveys of this type. When someone redesigned the study later with a larger group and a more thorough questionnaire, they got a lot more evidence of male bisexuals who responded physically to both sets of stimuli.
When just measuring biological response to visual stimuli, the majority of women will respond to a wider variety of gender-related stimuli than the majority of men – and while the genders men responded to were often strongly correlated with their described preference, that was less likely to be true for women. This suggests that female sexuality may be less strongly tied to this specific variety of stimulus and response.
So yes, it’s more likely that women will find pictures of people of both genders hot – but that’s not the sole determinant of sexuality. The idea of empathy and identification Li mentioned above has actually been floated in the research as one of many factors that might be in play, but we just don’t know enough.
That study was in 2009 and was since completely disproven! (basically, sampling skewed the results.) Further studies found men with bisexual arousal patterns as well. Here’s an NYTimes article about it. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/23/magazine/the-scientific-quest-to-prove-bisexuality-exists.html
I don’t think there’s any call to blame the patriarchy.
(Yeah, my reply is very timely)
There’s no need for Danny to be making a value judgement here. He knows that he’s straight. It turns out that knowledge isn’t accurate, but that will take time to process. For the moment, regardless of whether he would mind being gay or bi, he knows he is straight, knows he just experienced attraction to a man, and knows these two facts to be in contradiction. That’s reason enough for an instinctive denial.
I mean, I make the same sort of denial myself at times, albeit only silently in my head. I have . . . well, okay, I do instinctively consider allosexuality slightly inferior, but I make a point to suppress that whenever I catch it. And it’s not a factor when I think “I’m not straight.” I know I’m asexual, and every now and then there’s something that could be taken as evidence otherwise and I have to deny that interpretation because I know it’s wrong. There’s no need for a value judgement.
I almost completely agree with your analysis, but I just have one question:
What does any of that have to do with the patriarchy?
Because the Patriarchy says being gay is bad. It makes you womanlike .. and we know their opinion of women!
I’ve never understood how being gay made you “womanlike”. Sex is something men are “supposed” to be into, so what could be more manly than two dudes going at it?
Ask the patriarchy.
No, according to patriarchal views, sex is an interaction between two roles. One is dominant and the other subordinate. Men are supposed to be dominant. Gay sex requires a man to take a subordinate role willingly. This is unacceptable.
The condemnation of femininity and things that can be perceived as feminine (things like men being attracted to men) tends to be apart of the mo of the patriarchy as well as things like compulsory heterosexuality.
Second paragraph: “Societal stigmatization of femininity”
Because the whole idea is that the Patriarchy enforces gender identity and gender roles by oppressing individuals from expressing themselves in ways other than the socially accepted norm. Everything about that post talked about it. O_o Was it not immediately understood?
Yeah, I read the post and was like “Well, obviously. Patriarchy is pervasive and evil, and manifests all sorts of problems.”
But not everyone has internalized how much of a social problem it really is and how interconnected things are, and it just goes to show how far we still have to go. But if people are willing to learn, that’s an important step.
Yeah, I’ve got the same question.
Yeah. To distill it down, the patriarchy is the social structure that says “Gender roles are static, and male qualities are better than female qualities. While it may be marginally acceptable for a girl to do tomboyish things in order to ‘better’ herself, if a guy becomes slightly feminine he’s degrading himself completely.”
The stigma against guys who deviate from gender norms is an inherent part of the patriarchy. When feminists say that feminism helps men too, reducing the stigma against guys being feminine is one of the many things they’re talking about.
You are a good person and people say nice things about you.
I see where you’re coming from with the static gender roles, but I’m curious: in this case (with Ethan and Danny), what female quality do you feel is being suppressed?
There are a lot of people who see the act of men being attracted to men as something “weak” and/or “feminine”.
@caramelundqueer
Yeah, I read your comment above after posting, and realized that it answers my question. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of “being attracted to a man” as a potential feminine quality earlier – I guess it didn’t cross my mind.
Basically the thinking seems to be “You like guys? Well you know who also likes guys: Women! (Who definitely don’t like other women ever because then where would guys put there dicks?)”
If it seems like a stupid idea to you, that’s because it is
I would love to upvote this kind and well-put explanation. Mad props.
I feel the same way.
Basically all this comment thread. Willis, thank you – not just for your amazing comic work, but also for this safe space on the internet that is your comment section. I don’t know how much horrible stuff you have to ban from it to make it such a great place, or if your work just attracts the nicest people but… Wow, this is one of the few places on the internet where I can read the comment section without wanting to bang my head against the screen! the racial thing with Sal was an exception to this but still, nicest crowd I have EVER SEEN here
@Bionic_Doctor: Well, at least for me, the subtle racism with the Sal thing was something I had never really seen anyone having a problem with – in fact, I didn’t even KNOW about most of the self-image-for-exhibiting-physical-traits-of-a-certain-race issues that were brought up in that storyline. I’m assuming (btased on the comments) that others were in a similar situation (lack of) knowledge-wise.
Is this really how it still is in the States? I see this popping up every now and then on English-speaking forums, and I know it used to be like that, from reading old books and watching old series/movies, but is it still like that ? If so, I’m really glad I am an Norwegian. Here, I can act as feminine as I want, without anyone either questioning my sexuality or masculinity. Likewise, any woman can act as much as a man as she wants and not experience any negativity because of it. I can’t claim that we don’t have homophobes and overly religious nuts, but they are very few and are always called out on it by others, facing fines and persecution if they are too vocal about their ignorance. (Unless you go too far up the mountain valleys, but they discriminate against people-from-the-next-village as well, so…) I mean, come on, it’s 2014, we have mass media, a shared entertainment culture and the interwebs, there is really is no excuse any more for not accepting a persons individual nature.
As a woman, I sometimes get men angry at me for wearing TROUSERS. And men who do anything feminine – whether it’s a hobby, make-up, having too many female friends, or (heaven forbid!) wearing pink – he can be subject to anything from casual jokes about his sexuality to full on yelling. And in some extreme cases more but yeah.
America kinda sucks :/
It depends where you are. Things are pretty chill in Silicon Valley, for example.
I’m a little confused (being essentially a male joyce before college), I thought that most of the problem was the strict assignment of gender roles, and people who deviate are “bad”, not that men are better than women.
Sure the gender roles mean that men are better at somethings than women (upper body strength, authority, etc.) but that women are better than men at other things (being pretty [seriously though that’s actually been a thing amongst my friends where we have felt bad about ourselves because men aren’t considered “good looking” by the culture], raising kids, etc.).
Not trying to argue for the patriarchy, just those are the only arguments I know, I would like them to be knocked down by other arguments so that I can know those.
P.S: Can someone explain the difference between -romantic and -sexual? From my (*extremely* little) experience, it seems like the difference between romantic love and familial love is sexuality, e.g. how can someone only have romantic love for men but only be sexually attracted towards women? (is there, like, an article I could read?)
I’d also interested in knowing the difference between being sexually attracted vs pan-romantic. I learned about the different poly relationships there can be, but I didn’t know there could be just romantic interest in someone.
I think it just comes down to those who you feel comfortable (or able) to form emotional bonds with and those you don’t. In the case of the example you provided the individual might completely understand why women are attractive and can desire them sexually but for whatever physical/emotional/personal reason they just don’t have the desire for the bond to go beyond a sexual one. They may just feel more overall compatibility with the male gender or feel that relationship dynamic has more to offer them. However in the case of it being something like a bisexual women desiring relationships with men but not women there’s also the whole possibility of not wanting to deal with the stigma of being in a same sex relationship on a day to day basis. This is not to imply that all bi women who prefer relationships with men feel this way. I happen to be one of those.
I am probably not the best to answer this, so somebody please tell me if I screw it up.
To your first question: Yes, static gender roles mean that men are better at some things, and women at others. But there’s also a tendency to assume that the ‘male roles’ are inherently harder/better/more worthwhile. Going out and getting a job, being the ‘provider’ is better than staying home and taking care of children/taking care of the house (even though childcare is not at all easy).
To your second question: Relationship =/= sex is the simple way to put it. Some people may want to have a relationship (dating, marriage, whatever) but not be interested in sex. The most common time I’ve seen this used is differentiating between aromantic asexual individuals (someone that doesn’t have an interest in sex or a relationship) and hom/bi/hetero/pan-romantic asexuals (someone that is interested in having a relationship, but not in sex). You can basically then use the -romantic to further specify how you identify if you feel just describing sexual orientation isn’t sufficient.
About gender roles: basically female gender roles are considered easy and not worthwhile. Bringing home the bacon is more important than cooking it. Having a carpentry hobby is considered more productive than knitting. Playing soldier is cooler than playing house.
Men are viewed as being stronger, more level headed, etc. Women are weak, emotional, etc.
And since according to some weird sexual binary that is stupid and leads to bad sex, men are “active” in sex and women are “passive” – women don’t have sex, they have sex done to them. So obviously 2 men together means one much be “passive”. Which means he’s weak. Therefore gay men are basically women or some shit. (Homophobia and sexism are both awful and based on very flawed thought patterns, is what I’m saying)
About sexuality vs romance:
Sexuality = I want to trace the lines/curves and do sexy sexy things with you and have you reciprocate those things
Romance = man I wanna take you out to dinner and cuddle on my couch and watch netflix with you and maybe make-out a little
Friendship = we may go to dinner and watch netflix together but we won’t flirt or cuddle or kiss or anything. Friendship is unrelated to sexual and romantic interests, although I know a lot of people’s friend groups are filled with people they considered getting involved with at one point.
Sexuality & Romance have their own spectrums. I have a friend who is a lesbian, but is biromantic (she wants to bang ladies, but likes cuddling and smooching dudes too, just nothing past little pecks on the lips). Someone can be aromantic (don’t form romantic attachments) and pansexual.
I’m demiromantic (I have to know someone really well to have any romantic interest in them), and gray-asexual (a blanket term, but in my case means I don’t find ANYONE particularly bangable, but I do enjoy sex and want to have it), both hetero. (In terms of being hetero-gray-asexual, basically while I don’t find men attractive, I find women distinctly unattractive sexually. The difference between “meh” and “no” basically.)
(Another aspect of romantic vs sexual is what, physically, is attractive. Yeah, romantic attraction isn’t just a personal connection. Essentially, in regards to romance, you’re looking at the face. Sexually, you look at the body. So an asexual person who is romantic will find people with faces they like attractive. A sexual person who is not romantic, they will pursue people with nice bodies with no regards for face. And someone who is both sexual and romantic (aka most people) will look for both in varying degrees depending on their intention. Someone looking for a one-night stand will likely evaluate interest similar to an aromantic sexual while someone looking for a life-partner will search more similarly to a romantic asexual.)
And I’m done. That kinda ran away with me. Opps.
Wow! I can’t believe how many people actually cared enough to answer my question, thanks!
I think I’ve got a better idea of what is meant by the word ‘Patriarchy,’ now too. My previous definition was more centered on deep-rooted system problems (does that make sense?) .I generally concern myself with directly observable cause-and-effect style problems, so subtlety tends to fly over my head. It makes my internal dictionary a lot more literal as well, which isn’t much of a problem in day-to-day life, but not so great for discussing multi-nuanced social issues.
Anyway, sorry for the rambling, and to reiterate again, thanks to everybody for not just yelling at me for my ignorance.
+1
Good one.
(And another +1 for the good people commenting here. It’s unfortunately rare to see an explanation like this go unchallenged along the lines of ew feminist cooties. Disagreeing is of course fine, but knee-jerk denouncement … isn’t.)
I’d upvote your comment, if such a thing were enabled here. Very well put.
I completely agree. Also, even in a strange world where Danny was completely sure of himself, his sexuality and his feelings for Ethan, if Danny said anything else but refuting being gay right now it could be seen – by the same patriarchal rules – as him questioning Ethan’s manhood.
For all Danny know Ethan is straight (it is the norm, Ethan has a girlfriend and is the ex of Danny’s current kinda-sorta girlfriend). If Danny would make anything at all to imply interest in Ethan it could be seen as him invalidating Ethan’s sexuality, and thus his previous relationship with Amber, and thus be a Really Shitty thing to do towards your kinda-sorta girlfriend’s ex (“yeah, I can see why she broke up with him. He’s totally gay”). And Danny is trying really hard* not to do Really Shitty things.
Patriarchy – destroying budding relationships since forever
*)And because the universe hates him – failing really hard
Wow — I totally missed this way of thinking about the situation. Danny doesn’t know Ethan is gay, of course. And he’s too lacking in self-confidence to trust whatever sense he had in the moment that Ethan was also feeling an attraction . . . This helps a lot. Now I don’t feel so much like Willis is just being mean to the fanbase.
It’s not ONLY Willis being mean
That’s just one of many sad, sad consequences of “gay” being used as an insult – implying that someone might be gay might be seen as an insult.
Not sure really if it ought to boil down to Patriarchy so much as Patriarchy might be a valid lens through which to examine it.
Danny’s knee jerk reaction to this incorporates nervousness towards a new side of sexuality; I think this is fairly common really regardless of society at large. He’s got new feelings and which undermine his self-identity. This aspect of sexuality being taboo makes it much harder to come to terms with.
It doesn’t help that he’s also in a relationship with someone he knows has been hurt in the past after her SO making a similar discovery.
Society structure and Danny’s idea of who he should be definitely play into this, but it’s pretty clear he’s content to be “unmanly” in particular ways as well. It’s just as likely that he’s running off of religious reasoning or even just discomfort at realizing a new aspect to himself that he does have to come to terms with, which is pretty inconvient for someone who had his whole life plan laid out ahead of himself only a few weeks ago when he first arrived.
I’m glad my frustration sparked this thread
The mere existence of this whole thread makes me really frikkin’ happy.
Yeah, Danno–splay those legs!
DAMN IT ALL!
Y U DO DIS WILLIS
Ain’t it obvious? Dude loves jerkin’ us around. He FEEDS on our dashed hopes and expectations.
I thought only Highlights magazine did that.
Thank god I hoped Danny and Ethan didn’t go beyond being friends.
Judging by the comments, I’m the only one.
can’t you smell the budding sexual tension between these two? This ship will sail.
WELL OF COURSE NOT
Shoulda expected this, really…
I did expect almost exactly this. But you have to remember, Sir Willis is a storyteller, and is very good at it. So you have to keep the story going, build suspense and expectation, then let them down, do it again, rinse and repeat, go off on a tangent then loop back. Can’t have the climax too soon, after all, that would kill the story.
But bisexual? Time will tell.
In terms of what the characters in the comic know that is
Well, this could take care of everything: Danny, Amber and Ethan in happy threesomes.
Went back and read through the archives, this was kind of obvious in hindsight…
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/04-the-bechdel-test/hotter/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/screening/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/line/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/03-the-first-step-towards-recovery/league/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/03-the-first-step-towards-recovery/insulted/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/wearing-2/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/meet/
Also worth noting, just in case you want it to happen…
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/03-men-are-from-beck-women-are-from-clark/comfortable/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/04-the-bechdel-test/hotter/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/line/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/manhood/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/exploits/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/dan-it/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/love/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/newmainman/
People who are open about their sexuality are often much more likely to be open to experimentation, also they’re in college. Just sayin’
That is, uh, thorough. I’ll have to check those out.
Wow, good eye, my friend! Willis was seriously dropping hints all along!
some of the links are dduplicated I believe, but other then . Good work!
The ones I duplicated were the ones that were relevant to both points I was trying to make.
Good job. While technically more “friendshippy”, there’s a couple I think people missed on the first round.
Seriously, this was built up.
They are a little married, huh?
fitting grav
Speaking to that latter point, was the “wait, what kind of threesome was it” one from this comic, Roomies, or both? Can’t remember, and I suppose we should cleave to Willis’s “separation of universes” rule in the latter case, but I’m still going to consider it converging support all the same.
That was here.
Also, Danny/Pepsi bottle OTP.
Upon the reminder, I now want to see this third-grade drawing of Danny and Joe holding hands and riding a dragon.
I have a thing people might want to see!
*spends about five hours hooking up scanner*
…eh, forget it X/
I wonder if Joe knows. Some of the strips suggest to me Joe at least has a clue.
It’s possible, whether he knows now or get’s surprised later I really don’t think it’s even going to faze him. In fact I really do honestly think that the current Ethan/Danny shipping could be a fake out and that in the upcoming Male/male slipshine he’s going to turn around and sleep with Joe. He’d probably end up with Ethan or Amber in the long run, but college is known for being a time to experiment.
I agree that it’s not likely to faze him, save perhaps a brief “really?” He did tell Walky to step down on his notions of masculinity.
It wouldn’t surprise me, Joe can be surprisingly perceptive especially when it comes to sexual matters. I doubt he cares.
LIAR! LYING LIAR WHO LIES!!
That closet is now armored to the teeth.
But as transparent as glass.
It has transparent teeth?
Nothing more dangerous than transparent teeth. You think granny gumjobs is there to give you a good time then *CRUNCH*.
…
That was gross and I apologize.
Gross yes, amused? For sure!
revolving door closet
Well. That was to be expected.
Y’DONE DANNED IT DAN
Well, that’s his job.
Was there any other possibility?
This one is a whole lot more Ethan’s fault really. Dan JUST had his first same-sex attraction ever. He can’t adjust his mental self-image that immediately (and while still turned on). Ethan, though, he’s actually lying, and cheating them both out of a super adorable romance.
Well, yes, but it’s traditional to blame Danny anyway.
Ah, yes, this much is true.
Danny is actually telling the truth, anyway. (I’m not sure he’s capable of lying.) He said he’s not gay. He didn’t say he’s not into dudes.
I don’t really think that “gay” excludes bi people. I mean, just speaking for myself, I’m bi, and that makes me pretty gay.
Danny’s not gay, and is still technically with his crazy girlfriend. This is not Danning.
Yes you are
Nope. Bi!
No he’s not. He’s Bi.
Yes he’s bi. But according to his understanding, attraction to other guys is equal to being gay. He have been having heterosexual relationship previously and being bisexual is not an option in his mind yet.
Oh okay Danny. I’m convinced. Everyone else convinced? Seems legit.
Stop hiding that boner Danny.
“It’s not a boner. I’ve just got like…A HUGE pen in my pocket”
(probably just a regular sized pen *ahem*)
‘It’s not a boner…I…uh…have a banana in my pocket.’ ‘… That sounds yummy. … … … … I’ll, uh…eat my own banana. Later.’ ‘…’ ‘…’ ‘…’
Possible if one is flexible enough, I suppose.
A rare, but useful, talent.
Reminds me of high school cuz I had bananas anytime the cafeteria served them and one friend said “I can’t believe you can just eat bananas like that. Don’t you think people will call you gay?” And I said “I dunno about you, but I’m pretty sure if someone thinks this is gay, they’re not aware that you’re not supposed to “BITE IT OFF. Poor fellas”.
… Ow.
oh god, terrible mental images
Nice one.
….5 minutes later:
“You do know you’re not supposed to eat a banana like a popsicle, don’t you?”
“Lasts longer this way.”
hey, frozen banana is DELICIOUS. Don’t go knockin’ it.
I remember once me and my sister made biscuits and then had a competition of who could eat them in the most sexy way
…I’unno, it seemed relevant
All I have to say about your comment is this: Winning!
Yeah, I love how you can see the moment when Danny realizes he’s sporting a boner. ^^ Oh Danny, you so bi.
Yup, absolutely Willis.
So I didn’t get a chance to post this yesterday given the 1000+ comments, but I noticed something about the current Danny situation.
Steamy Man-On-Dan action is so inevitable that it’s foreshadowed in his NAME.
Danny Wilcox.
Danny Will Cox.
Will Danny c**ks?
Yes, Danny will c**ks.
>9000
so when will Danny snap and suck like a billion dicks?
How much c**ks will the Wilcox cox, if the Wilcox will cox c**ks?
if the Wilcox will coax c**cks?
Well at least only one of them is lying.
At least two of them are lying.
Not true! Danny’s bisexual. Technically, he’s right.
The implications that he’s not into dudes, though, THAT is denial right there.
Who cares about what he feels? He’s a guy!
He has never had sex with a dude, he has had sex with a girl, so he’s a straight 0 on the Kinsey scale.
Not sure if serious.
In any case, just because one hasn’t had sex with both genders doesn’t make them exclusively straight or gay. It’s possible for bisexuals to have only had successful consummated relationships with just one gender, despite having attraction for both.
wait what?
The Kinsey scale isn’t some end all be all of orientation. Just because he’s only had sex with women doesn’t invalidate what he’s beginning to feel / realize the feelings that have always been there.
I’m bisexual but if we are going to use the scale to label people then I’m homosexual because my experience has only been with men.
This isn’t who I am, because I am interested in the other sex but my confindence is really crappy when it comes to taking to other people. By being a guy, experiencing need for release and knowing that there is less stigma for guys “sleeping” around I have been able to bolster my confindence in persuing sexual release with dudes. I have no hangups against persuing sexual release with women but my lack of confindence does get in the way.
TLDR: Kinsey scale use of the word “or” is more focused on whom you’ve actually mambo’d with as opposed to all those you would like to mambo with
By that logic, anyone who’s never had sex is asexual….
Not so.
Kinsey didn’t believe in asexuals. Anybody who has never had sex is bad data point.
Only if you consider telling the literal truth while purposefully being deceptive not lying.
But then, Danny’s just had this sprung on him (pun intended) and is panicking, while Ethan has known about his sexuality for a while, so there might be some premeditation clause we can pull up to judge the severity of the lies.
Smooth, guys.
Danny is definitely trying to hide an erection there.
NO REALLY
…I’m sorry. This comment was mean and I’m sorry and why am I still posting it oh fuck I’m sorry
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
Well, yeah, he’s not gay. He’s probably bisexual or pansexual, but not gay.
I’m referring to Danny. Not Ethan. Ethan is obvs gay.
Is it gay to fall for a transwoman?
Stupid binary sex definitions!
It’s my understanding that a transwoman is a woman (even if she has male body parts). Her boyfriend could identify as Queer or Straight or Bi/Pan or whatever he likes.
To clarify, if a man loves a (trans)woman, then that’s not gay. If he was gay, he’d fall in love with a man instead. (Not sure whether your question was a joke or not but I figured I’d explain just in case.)
My understanding is that claiming that a guy is gay for loving a transwoman (because she used to be a man) is like claiming they’re a pedophile because the person used to be a child.
–It’s how they identify now that matters, is what I mean.
In THAT case, Ethan TOTES is not gay but is also maybe bi
NO LIARS HERE
She was presenting as a man at the time. The penis isn’t psychic. It can’t sense when somebody’s secretly a woman.
I read it as she was presenting as a woman, but that she’d already told him that she is trans – not, like, an Ethan/Jocelyn situation.
I thought we were talking about the Ethan/Jocelyn situation.
I’m pretty sure the Ethan/Joc situation was exactly what was being discussed…otherwise it’s an odd digression from the discussion that spawned it.
Ohh, derp, I missed that this was a response to the Ethan comments above it (I thought it was just a random question about words for attraction in general). Never mind!
which is why monosexuality doesn’t really make sense tbh
Well. Glad we cleared that up, then.
Sure, clear.
BULLSHIT, ETHAN!
Ethan never had sex with another man. Or anyone, really.
He doesn’t weak pink, he doesn’t speak with a lisp, he isn’t flamboyantly gesturing, he doesn’t sashay when he walks, clearly there is no way this
cutenice Jewish boy is gay. He likes big bulky robots with lasers and superheroes in skin tight costumes. That’s macho as Randy Savage.Danny, on the other hand, is into some seriously gay stuff: He likes Dragons, My Little Pony, the new Turtles cartoon, and even girls. Ew. Gay. Seriously, what kind of man is into fantasy stuff and children’s shows? That’s not manly. And his girlfirend is rather butch, like she’s the man in their relationship. He’s gayer than a sunny summer Sunday afternoon with Oscar Wilde.
And he’s rooming with Joe, who has advertised on his clothing that he digs boners. Quite telling, if you ask me.
Either way, I don’t like him. Lying to a sweet girl like Joyce, is enough to put him on my hate list permanently.
Ethan isn’t lying to Joyce, he told her he was gay and she decided that she would “help” him resist(read repress) his temptations of being into dudes.
He agrees because he doesn’t want his orientation to be his sole defining factor like it was when his friends and family found out.
Here Ethan comes out to Joyce and the four/ five following strips explains their relationship.
What Joyce is trying to do is not good and Sarah has called her on it, You can see that it’s not working for Ethan here, and when he was attracted to Jocelyn when he thought she was Joyce’s brother.
The word here is the actual link as I seem to have missed the closing tag.
Here is address of the comic for reference:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/aprilfools/
Whatever, I still hate him
Your allowed to hate him, but if you don’t mind my asking why do you?
Actually I do mind, sorry.
Actually I don’t (what the fuck was I thinking). Instead of having the balls to tell Joyce to her face “This ain’t gonna work.” He decides to roll with it. Fully knowing that Joyce’s efforts are in vain.
Thank you for sharing you reasons with me, and I will follow this up with a longer post when I get home from work. The main gist of what I’m going to say is that both Ethan and Joyce agreed to a bad relationship idea during a period of weakness. As of this comic they both seem blind to the fact that it’s not working and are using each other for their own ends. It’s my hope that Ethan will learn for this particular experience and break his beard relationship with Joyce.
When Joyce and Ethan decide to start their relationship they are both in a period of weakness. Ethan is depressed and has just explained to Amber that he wants to be normal and not have his orientation be what people around him focus on like his family and friends. Joyce has forcibly kissed Ethan and is dismayed by his reaction. This hits her hard since she is still recovering from her attempted rape.
Joyce’s upbringing leads her to seeing Ethan’s orientation as temptations that can be resisted(read repressed/ignored) and latches onto that Link. She agrees to help him in return that he help her to resist her own temptations. To me it seems that she subconsciously knows he won’t try anything and that is what she needs. Sarah calls Joyce on her attempts to change a fundamental part of Ethan, because she can see that this is a bad idea.
Here Joyce gets angry when he shows interest in “girly” things and her upbringing makes her think this can be changed by focusing on “guy stuff”. Two comics later she says that she doesn’t want to change Ethan inside but that they need to wean him off liking guys. Once again not realizing that his orientation is who he is inside, she then suggests that they make out.
Even though Ethan mentions that the goal is to keep them away from temptation, Joyce then goes to Billie and asks how to get to kissing. To me this shows that Joyce wants this to be an actual relationship and she is using Ethan to that end. Ethan on the other hand is using Joyce to pretend to the world that he is straight, but he cannot stop himself from showing attraction to other guys and trying to pursue that. First with Jocelyn thinking she was a man, and currently with Danny.
In the end this relationship is bad for both of them, and hopefully Ethan will see that with this comic and break off what he has with Joyce. He doesn’t need to get with Danny but be true to himself. Joyce also needs to realize that she cannot get what she wants from Ethan and needs to stop trying to change who he is.
This is my reading of the situation between Ethan and Joyce. Neither side is blameless for this bad situation and they both need to take a hard look at their “relationship”. I hope that this changes your mind about Ethan a little bit. If it doesn’t, then so be it and thank you for taking the time to read what I had to say.
I have legitimately been called both “gay” and “whipped” for wanting to spend time with my girlfriend, and for hanging out with female friends. The “you like spending time with women, so you must be gay” argument is one of the most hilarious parts of the patriarchy I’ve experienced.
Wait wait wait. What could possibly be more manly than great big flaming dragons? I challenge that dragons are extremely masculine, and clearly no man infatuated with masculine beings could possibly be gay.
NICE SAVE DANNY! He’s not onto you at all!
SUSPICIOUSLY SPECIFIC DENIAL
QUIT HIDING YOUR BONER DANNY, WE KNOW IT’S THERE.
Tell tale signs of hiding a boner. A closet boner. TIME TO WHIP THAT SHIT OUT.
Fellas whip your dick out, Whip Whip your dick out!
probably not on the front lawn of the courthouse though maybe
If the love doesn’t fit, you must bullshit.
HoYay Simpson.
If a gay guy comes along, you must whip it (out)!
If two hot guys share a hug, you must ship it!
it’s not too late
to ship it
ship it good
Christ, how far would it set Ethan back if his first receipt of same-sex sexual attention was such aggressive and unprovoked harassment as that? He’d probably be traumatized!
If ever there were a time for Danny to take it slow, this is it. Don’t wanna startle the groundhog before he’s even ready to poke his head out of the burrow.
GOD DAN IT, DAN.
Also *rushes to give Ethan all the hugs*
Why? Ethan’s the only one who’s actually lying here.
Because being in the closet & lying about it for self-preservation sucks, and he needs all the affirmation and support he can get?
Yeah that’s true Danny equally deserves sympathy and hugs here. Why are you only offering it to Ethan?
There was a but in that sentence at one point.
umm, you do remember that’s danny, right? hehe
I thought about that as I was getting ready for bed (not as awkward as it sounds, I swear) — was just to late to pop in and say Danny’s pretty in need of hugs too.
Being bisexual in the closet sucks too ya know. I give Danny the hugs here. Ethan has made his choice to run back into the closet. But a bisexual doesn’t fit in the closet with the rest of the gays sometimes.
I realized that after I got offline last night, and mostly agree. Still give Ethan the hugs, too, because I completely get where he’s coming from. Not entirely sure why I was annoyed with Danny since I more strongly identify with him, at least sexuality-wise.
And he instantly Dans it up again. But that’s okay…for now. I figure this will be a longer personal journey. He’s still got crap to work through with Amber.
…
…but I really hope this comes to fruition later.
Side note: Damn you, Willis.
mannnn what if the slipshine’s already drawn??
Oh, there will be a slipshine. I’m sure of it. It just won’t happen soon.
Back in February, he said there’d be a male/male slipshine that was (at that time), a spoiler, so…
Yes, but he was refeting to the Joe/Danny slipshine.
see, on one hand, more queer guy action in general sounds fantastic, but on the other I REALLY SHIP ETHAN AND DANNY
KNEES!!
also guh how have I not already done this but ummmmm
SCHWING
… way to Dan this up.
Who else but DANNY!
Dannin’ Danimals.
now they’re both danning it up
Welp, my boner’s gone. At the very least, Danny’s bi. And Ethan… well… keep telling yourself that. Keep t… wait, no. STOP telling yourself that! THAT’S AWFUL
Ethan isn’t telling that to himself, he’s telling it to Danny, because, you know, Danny might not like him when he’s gay.
WHY YES
OF COURSE
COMPLETELY OUT OF GAY TODAY
ABSOLUTELY OUT OF STOCK
(but they just got an order of bisexual tendencies on sale for $5.99)
One of these two are bullshiting.
Two of these two are bullshitting.
Three of these two are bullshitting. Don’t ask how.
No only Ethan is. Danny’s NOT gay. He’s bi and this is (most likely) the first time he’s been aware of his same sex attraction so he’s probably deeply confused but he’s telling the truth as far as he knows it. Ethan’s full blown lying.
Depends on your definition of lying. He is intentionally obscuring the truth, even if the literal meaning of his words are true.
Not necessarily. As far as we know this is Danny’s first ever instance of same sex attraction. It’s a lot to ask the kid to be immediately ready to identify as bisexual based on that when he’s probably still trying to wrap his brain around what the hell just happened. I mean the only reason we know for sure he’s bisexual is that we have word of god on our side and human sexuality is a complicated thing. Just because you experience some kind of same sex attraction doesn’t mean you HAVE to identify as anything.
But I guess I’m saying truth is relative based on what you actually know and I mean we have the luxury of knowing the absolute truth of Danny’s sexuality. Danny’s still figuring this shit out.
Oh god I’m just babbling at this point. It all makes sense in my head and then I try typing.
Made sense to me.
Good to know!
Or is he straight with an exception? That happens too…
Yes but like I said earlier we have word of god that he’s bi. If we didn’t have this we could all feel free to speculate and straight with an exception is totally a thing but it’s already been stated by Willis that (spoiler alert for not actually spoilers just facts at this point) he’s bi.
So after thinking about it, do we have 2 in the closet? Or just 1, and one bi?
according to everything willis posted on his tumblr yesterday and the day before, Danny’s Bi
he’s in the closet about being bi. Or, more correctly, he’s not considering bi-ness as a thing right now.
Actually both. Danny’s obviously not gonna own up to being bisexual anytime soon. Hell, I doubt if he even knows the word well enough to understand how it applies to him.
A bi in the closet is worth two in the bush?
baaaaahahahaha that’s an ewdelight
“The closet” just gained a new meaning for me.
One has completely locked himself in the closet and for the other he just having an awkward moment.
Let’s go do sit ups and drink beer and other non gay manly things.
Let’s Bench and Curse and oil up and wrestle and just bro out. Nothin’ gay about some man on man bro time!
Of course! Haven’t you heard? The more men, the manlier it gets!
Just ask Frank Miller!
(If you can get him to stop talking about whores.)
Well, there’s the answer for you!
Just manly guys, doing manly things.
Like soccer practice.
It’s okay Danimal. Being bi is totally legit as well. (:
Well, I think its safe to say that ship has taken on water at this point. Only time (and Willis’s decisions) will tell if it will sink.
*clicks back to previous day*
yeap, that’s what I’m here for
well shit, this ship will take a while to sail.
All aboard the ship of denial.
Denial? I thought rivers were better traversed via barge.
All aboard the barge of denial.
Of Daniel.
Denial of service…wherein we have been denied Ethan and Danny romance.
Dagnabbit! Consardit! (Is that spelled right?)
I believe it’s “consarnit”, you rackin frackin varmint.
Thank ya. Been a while since I used them Southern expressions.
I’m from the South and I have never heard “consarnit.”
I haven’t lived in the South since 1992. Clearly not a reliable source.
Aw jeez Ethan’s little smile in panel 3
I know, right??? It’s been mainly Ethan’s smiles that have gotten me on this ship — I mean, over this entire sequence, look at how he *lights up*, what a difference there is from how sad he usually looks.
12:04 and 32 comment. Revel in your power, Willis.
Oops. Make that 12:05 and 55 and counting.
I fully expected something like this, yet I’m still disappointed. Dang.
Because I know Willis, I knew it would be like this….still….NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! DAMN YOU WILLIS!!!
The Nile is overflowing… better be careful they might drown on it XD
*reads hovertext* …OR IS IT?!
Yup. According to tumblr, tomorrow’s strip involves Ruthless and Mary in the dorms.
We must say goodbye to glorious manship for now. 8C
Boooo Mary is taking us away from Danny’s awesome bi revelation time.
actually i moved some stuff around way back then so they’re a few days off
Oh! Well then… *looks back at Ethan and Danny* Proceed…
Yayyy distinct possibility that we get to see more of Danny’s awesome bi revelation time.
I fervently hope we are still on danny and ethan in half an hour
omg Danny closing his legs to hide his boner
That’s art, is what that is.
I didn’t even notice the body language the first time.
Ten bucks says they both go back to their dorms and bash their heads against the wall until they meet at the halfway point between their chosen head-clonkin’ walls.
Matching head trauma. How romantic?
And when there’s head trauma, falling asleep is the worst thing. Hmmm…Just what can these two do to keep themselves occupied so they don’t fall asleep…
We now interrupt the shipping to bust a misconception – That’s not actually true.
So is panel 3 Danny just then noticing his boner?
“G-GOOD TO KNOW!”
“S-SAME HERE!”
“I just like to clarify this sometimes cuz otherwise, how would anyone know?”
“Right? Only a straight guy’d bring that outta the blue like that, haha ha ha”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Danny: “Well, I’m going to go back to my girlfriend now.”
Ethan: “M-me too.”
“I-it’s not like I like you or anything!”
B-baka?
Ah, the joys of being eighteen and discovering that that person who happens to be the same gender as you is kinda hot. Nothing wrong with that, Danny!
considering his alter universe exploits i can dig it.
way to be a trooper Danny. Denial!
“WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON”
Now kiss.
It’s not gay because neither of them is.
“For example, neither of us wants to want to make out with dudes!”
‘We should make out. Just, you know, to prove it.’
It’s okay Willis….I can play the long game too…
Hope you can because Ethan’s real new love interest isn’t coming in until later.
how can you be sure?
Wow, Danning it up is now contagious through skin contact. It’s like a rash that gets between your brain and mouth.
“I’m sorry…but you have terminal Danning… Have you been in close quarters or physical contact with a Danny, or someone you believe has also been Danning it up?”
A rash? maybe they can rub ointment on each other.
I forget — do Danny and Ethan live on the same floor? Are they likely to run into each other while going to or from the shower? In towels? That would be beautifully awkward and probably adorable.
They do live in the same floor. This strip shows them meeting and Ethan is wearing boxers as opposed to pants.
Thanks for the link! I had forgotten about that.
Yay! So all kinds of potential for awkwardness!
Willis, you gay cock tease.
Everyone seems to be Really excited about this.
two hundred nuyen sez they bang by the end of the week.
in-universe week, that is.
I’ll take that bet. No way is Danny that quick to come to terms with his new sexual identity. I think there will be way more Will-They-Won’t-They and general freaking out first.
Not to mention that if they do end up together, Amber will probably flip out.
Prediction: Amber will notice her exes are together before either of them does.
I’ll second that. Hope it doesn’t crush her . . .
!!! Lookit they’re blushing awwwww
I remember there was a sketch comedy TV show here in Australia with a character who kept saying “I’m not gay”, but then he would go on a tangent about naked Greek wrestling or fellate a sausage.
And as usual, Danny is too wrapped up in his own shit to piece together the problems of those he cares about. We’ve gone from “Danny doesn’t notice his girlfriend’s palpable discomfort over being followed to college” to “Danny doesn’t notice his girlfriend is also Amber” to “Danny doesn’t notice his crush is gay.”
Guess Danny hasn’t learned as much about himself as we’d like.
Let’s be honest. It’s a lot for a guy to handle in one week. *suddenly starts seizing up cuz I gave Danny the benefit of the doubt*
Except it’s been like a month now? And his refusal to notice other people’s crap has ended one relationship and put a serious dent in another.
In fact, in hindsight, Danny’s refusal to get involved without all the facts was basically just him actively doing what does passively constantly–just ignoring the problem. Which has, as evidenced by his encounter with Sal, potentially blotched things even worse.
*This a lot for a guy to handle in a month**
Man, I’m 20 and I probably haven’t dealt with this much drama in 10 months, let alone 1. Danny’s the kinda guy who’s walking ass backwards through life, since his life plan went down the drain way back in book 1. I can’t really knock many of the decisions he’s made based on the information he’s had at any particular moment.
You know what speaking about Danny and Amber related Issues (which is probably my favorite part of this comic) I wonder what Sal is doing right now?
Mario Kart.
10 minutes to reach 100 comments… a bit slower than yesterday.
I think that’s because this is the more likely ending to yesterdays comic that noone wanted to admit could happen. :C
Is Ethan really buying this? I mean, look at the guy!
He’s like Fred Figglehorn waiting to happen…
…
What? They’re facial structure and hair color is almost same…
So, how long will we wait for any guy-guy stuff to happen?
Looks like it’ll be at least another month before the Danny/Ethan Slipshine.
If anyone just heard a deafening “DAMN YOU WILLIS!!!” in or near Texas, that was probably me.
Was wondering about that..less someone did it near Chicago besides myself.
I kind of hope this doesn’t go too far in that direction… don’t want Amber going around thinking that every guy she gets involved with is “turned gay”
You sure? Having a super power might help her super heroic exploits.
“Halt, vandals!”
“Yeah, and who’re you? Amzi-Tits?”
“Now, kiss!”
-vandals make out-
But being the sole beacon of heterosexuality in a sea of homo is kind of her thing.
110 comments in 13 minutes
wow
100 comments at 12:10, just shy of last night’s record.
Now that we’ve settled that, let us enjoy a variety of normal activities that heterosexual gentlemen such as ourselves typically engage in.
Like oiled up wrestling…
I MEAN VIDEO GAMES!
B: What think you, my lord, of love?
E: You mean rumpy pumpy?
B: What would you say my lord if I were to say, “I love you”.
E: Um, well of course it depends entirely on whom you said it to. If
you said it to a horse I would presume you were sick, if you said it
to Baldrick I would presume you were blind and if you said it to me,
well…
B: Yes, my lord?
E: Well, well I’d naturally assume we were having a big lads joke about
back-tickle as the way we healthy fellows often do and I’d probably
grab you for a friendly wrestle and then we’d probably slap each
others sides like jolly good chums and laugh at what it would be
like if we really did fancy each other.
B: In that case my lord… I love you!
[Bob and Edmund engage in “friendly wrestling”]
Sorry about the formatting.
At least Blackadder admitted his own feelings for his manservant to himself.
And with this , it’s time to retreat to re-watch all of Blackadder….again
That had a bit more time to build and he took a time out to go talk to an old mad lady.
I believe you mean a wise woman. Because first… She is… A WOMAN. And second… She is…
Wise?
Oh, you do know her, then.
Thank you, crone. Here is a purse of moneys. Which I’m not going to give to you.
Heh. Good reference.
Man its almost like the universe is trieing to put those two through weird awkward moments for some kind of entertainment, and when I say the universe I mean Willis and us.
“Dumbing of Age
Is Totally Not Gay!”
“A Willis comic? Gay!? Pfff…Next you’ll tell me QC is hipsterish.”
“hipsterish?” I’d like to think QC is more “Sitcommy.”
I find it to be an indie type sitcom almost. And like anything indie, it seems a bit hipsterish, because hipsters are the most exaggerated indie. At least, in my experience.
I would call the early stuff “hipsterish”, if only because so many jokes revolved around obscure indie band references. The later stuff much less so, though.
Danny closed his legs so daintily, Ethan was right to call him adorable.
This about what I expected to happen, and I’m glad that it’s happening. This will give Danny time to sort out his relationship with Amber, sort out his own feelings, etcetera.
I predict that Amber will be the one to tell him that Ethan is gay. Since Ethan himself is kind of… lying. Poor dears, so lovable yet so frustrating and awkward.
But the biggest mystery I see is what if Ethan and Danny do end up together? with the massive chain of Amber breakdowns in a matter of minutes, could she handle her ex boyfriend and best friend taking her current boyfriend ?
Amber’s already shown that she won’t out Ethan.
But I AM imagining a conversation in which Danny comes out to Amber and it’s AMAZING. “Remember how you asked if I was straight? Well… I’m not. I think I’m actually… bisexual. I was hanging around with your ex and….”
I don’t know if it will happen that way, but if it does–oh, the reaction faces! and the Danny-blushing! Traumatic, but adorable.
… I know this is an awkward situation, Ethan, but. Please. You are not doing yourself any favors, honey.
That’s nothing new.
Of course it’s not, I just sigh and facepalm anew every time he does it.
Danny I’ll cut some slack on since he literally just realized he might be into dudes like, ten seconds ago at most, but Ethan… Oh, Ethan. This is going to end so, so poorly for you.
I-it’s not like I like you or anything!
And so, the hunt begins.
I am so happy Ethan is my gravatar.
“Okay, it’s a deal! Let’s shake pinkies on it.”
(Need I say it?? Damn You Willis!! I’m heartbroken for Ethan.)
blueballs.
For who exactly though?
EVERYBODY.
To everyone baying for a make-out session – have you ever made out in public with someone, knowing you might well do emotional harm to one or more people you cared about? Pretty sure Willis isn’t out to make either Ethan or Danny outright heartless lustful idiot jerks.
Yes, it is college. It’s the place made for that kind of behavior.
Back in Natchitoches, LA, in the long long ago, the designated place for such behavior was a bar called Yesterdays.
Ugh, I am sort of super torn, this development is totally delightful but at the same time I’m sort of a huge Danber shipper and sort of super want them to work out and I don’t see a way this resolves without at least one (if not all) of them getting hurt.
Damn you Willis!
Well, I posted about this at great length in the last strip’s comments, but if everyone openly and honestly talked about their feelings with each other, I don’t see any reason why Amber/Danny/Ethan couldn’t work out as a triad. There’s decent foreshadowing that Amber might be into it.
So I do see a way this could resolve happily, but since it involves everyone in question actually admitting to their feelings… it is INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY.
Plus Danny is naturally very monogamous. (I used to date a dude like that; he was deeply convinced that he’d eventually have to loyally choose between the two ladies and commit to just one, did not want threesomes with anyone, etc.) Just like not everyone wants to be monogamous, some people are just not wired for poly relationships.
Well, Danny’s TECHNICALLY not wrong.
Seriously, though, how much longer do we gotta wait for Danny/Ethan makeouts?
I’m really shocked nobody’s said ‘NO HOMO’ yet.
LOTS OF HOMO
ALL OF THE HOMO!
NEEDS MORE HOMO
Now I get it!!! Danny is so much in denial about liking guys that he snapped and drew a billion dicks while sleeping!!! You can clap now.
holy shit this is actually the best theory
i applaud you sir/madam/sirmaam
Thank you!!!
O.o….that makes more since than it should… -joins the applause-
No homo. Full bi
I was waiting for this
Waaiit… How many days has it passed since this one? http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/romance/ (it’d be funny if it were actual 2 days)
Win!!
it actually was, funnily enough.
http://itswalky.tumblr.com/image/95321876487
Oh, nicely caught.
Wow! Nice catch!
It’s not just that Danny is closing his legs to hide his boner. It’s that in panel three, Ethan is clearly appreciatively staring at said boner.
I think none of them ever touched someone else’s boner. If they ever touch balls, it’s gonna be so rad and awkward.
Pretty much exactly what I expected to happen, given how Ethan and Danny are incredibly shy and incredibly unlikely to cheat on their girlfriend, respectively. ^^
Of course, while Ethan can probably keep himself uncomfortably closeted for who-knows-how-much-longer to fit in, I’d bet Danny’s probably only going to let this fester for like a day or so and then blab about his newfound sexuality crisis to the first person he can get to listen to him. Like poor Joe and Amber!
Oh dear lord he’s almost certainly going to blab about this to Amber because maximum drama and Willis is the one at the helm here.
She knew what she was getting into
I think Joe would handle the situation much better, he’d probably comfort him and then tell him to own it like a man, which is good because I’m pretty sure at some point during this crisis he’s going to need to be reminded that he still is.
I dont know, lately Joe’s response to anytime Danny is feeling lost or looking for advice has been “be an asshole”, so idk if he would be a very good support for something as sensitive as Danny’s sexual identity.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/manhood/
This comic is mainly why I think he’d be supportive, in fact I actually think this comic was made to be foreshadowing their inevitable conversation on the subject.
Well, I don’t think Joe’s necessarily homophobic, but he has taken a negative tone in the past whenever suggestions to that effect came up concerning Danny in particular.
Then again…
Either way—Danny’s PO’d at Joe right now, so I don’t know if he’d necessarily be his first choice for Danny to discuss newly discovered bisexual leanings. The only problem with that is, that besides Joe, Danny really doesn’t have that many other people he can talk to honestly (or dishonestly, really) in the first place. Besides, like, Ethan. And Amber…
He can talk to Dorothy, she doesn’t have any real negative feelings towards him and would be supportive.
Ethan’s closet is leaking.
Who says he can’t hang out in the closet with Ethan for a while. It’s probably fun in there, full a transformers and Dexter and Monkey Master swag.
Is Ethan’s smile in panel 3 him noticing Danny’s boner?
I think it’s just affection. Considering how much he tries to not think about other guys’ boners (which my kindle keeps changing into “no need”), I don’t think that would be the look on his face if he had noticed it.
I could believe momentary appreciation before realizing what he’s doing. And the next words out of his mouth were to say he wasn’t gay. On the other hand, I’d also expect Willis to give us a blush to make it clear.
Well, they were having a pleasant conversation before Danny launched himself at Carla. I can see panel 3 as Ethan being like “ok so where were we?”
Ethan. Y?
I could see Danny opening up to Dorothy. I mean it will probably take a lot to get him to that point but she’s (likely) the most level headed and least judgmental person he knows. She’d be a safe person to talk this through with.
I doubt he will, because dorothy is a lady, and he’s clearly insecure enough to have to deny his gayness out loud
I don’t think he’ll talk to anybody about it for a while
I dunno, in my personal experience, Kerry, guys who have had emotional issues they’re very sensitive about tend to talk to their most trusted female friends instead of their male friends.
they’re so not gay.
–trying to figure out what gesture Ethan is making in the last panel
–“hey sailor, room for one more in this closet?”
–God damn it Danny
–going by Ethan’s pose in the last panel I’d say he’s hiding a bit of wood, himself
–calling it now, in the next strip neither one of them will help each other up in order to avoid touching hands. Alternately, additional awkward will ensue when said hand-touching occurs and goes on a little too long.
Just some suave mothercluckers over here.
Danny’s posture in the fourth panel. SO CUTE. SUCH UKE.
Sorry, Willis, as far as I’m concerned this ship is alive and well. THEY WILL FIGURE THIS OUT AND I WILL FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO BUY SLIPSHINE
C’mon, Danny. You can dig it
(Because I can’t even right now.)
reading these comments is amusing…I AM PLEASED WITH THE DISSATISFACTION OF EVERY READER WHO WANTED THEM TO BANG
*maniacal_laughing.m4a*
[I actually still have no opinion on it tbh, just bandwagoning]
I didn’t know Willis had an alter-ego on these boards.
if only he did…but i guess his alter ego is a 20 something year old college senior who is a professional yoyo player and a jazz music enthusiast if i’m actually an alter ego for Willis…which would confuse me…because i’m fairly certain i’m not Willis…i think…
“professional yoyo”
that is amazing
OMG professional yoyo
u are my new hero
that…..sounds scarily enough like one of my exes
*squints*
Okay, Ethan, you’re just bullshitting. Meanwhile, Danny, OH MY GOD YOU SO ARE.
I wonder how long it’ll take Danny to come to terms with this. I also wonder if Amber will tell him about Ethan, and how Danny would react to learning about Ethan’s sexuality.
Save that boner for later Danny, you are going to need it… Actually, just get a new one when it’s time.
As a member of a patriarchal society, a man is expected to behave and conduct himself as a man (as defined by said society). This include his sexual preferences.
OOh, and Danny takes a swift lead in the race to fuck up the blossoming relationship. They were neck and neck there for a while folks, but don’t count Ethan out of it yet; there’s still time for this to get Much worse
That’s a pretty cute smile Ethan shoots Danny in panel 3.
Just because you’re not gay doesn’t mean I can’t kickstart you likeness onto a body pillow.
Man, I really hope this doesn’t turn out terribly, because I can definitely see the shape of a story where Danny ends up becoming intensely afraid and homophobic and ends up seriously hurting or killing Ethan.
I… can pretty much assure you Danny is not going to kill Ethan.
… I find the mental image of that hilarious. Danny trying to kill someone, I mean.
Of course, it’s mostly because of how badly I think he’d mess it up.
Danny is not violent. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/03-the-first-step-towards-recovery/knees/
Um, have you been reading this comic? Leaving aside the fact that Willis has outright said that there will be no deaths because the pacing means it would result in months and months real-time of grieving in comics, that would be totally OOC for Danny.
Yeah….no…..
It’s funny because one of them is telling the truth!
I love explaining jokes to fleshlings.
What would we do without you, Megatron?
Live out your existence without ever understanding the importance of working under Megatron.
Consider this ship Danned Up.
Danny and Ethan are now shouting at each other from their respective closets, and that makes me so fucking sad it hurts.
ETHAN YOU GIANT GAY DON’T LIE. And Danny, ehhh.
Dumbing Of Age is easily one of my top 5 webcomics (out of over a hundred)… but for such a progressive and socially aware strip, it’d be really nice to see a dude who was into dudes and COMFORTABLE with the fact, y’know?
There ain’t no drama in that.
There’s just as much potential for drama in same-sex relationships as opposite-sex ones. I mean, look at Billie and Ruth.
Well, there’s Mike, but he’s really only ever into anyone because it will make others uncomfortable.
As a freshman at a state college in Illinois? Geez, give ’em some time (and maybe an upperclassman or two added to the cast).
Yeah, I’m very appreciative that gay characters are getting face time but it would be nice if they also didn’t always come with horrible, life scarring trauma specifically because of their gayness. Shit like that is why I’m afraid of straight people. My brain is convinced if I let people know I’ll end up homeless, disowned and gay bashed. Because that’s what every single depiction of people like me has shown me.
What about Jocelyne? I know that she’s trans, not gay, but trans people seem to be even more marginalized in society, and she’s doing just fine.
??? Jocelyne is 100% in the closet when it comes to how she has to present herself in public. We don’t know if she ever presents as her true gender to anyone outside of her blog.
If that’s your definition of a trans person doing great, I’d be scared to see your version of a trans person doing poorly.
She’s doing just fine because she’s hiding who she is from her family.
yeah, being in the closet is not “doing just fine”
Oh geez I didn’t realise she was in the closet
now I feel so bad
It’s funny you say that, because while thinking about directions this could go I wondered if Danny might realize he’s okay with this pretty quickly (queue Joe making some sarcastic remark about how obvious this is) and be totally out as bi, and give Ethan the impetus to stop lying.
What about Leslie Bean? She’s a highly skillful, well-adjusted professor, and she’s certainly comfortable in her own skin.
Oh Ethan…
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
But seriously, as a bi guy I love that this comic exists, even though it’s painful (especially since i’ve lied about my sexuality too).
I want them to cry! I want them to cry inside their closets and think about what they did today.
Could be Danny’s into both guys and girls, but hasn’t really admitted it to himself or something like that. Who knows? Maybe there’ll be an Ethan and Danny awwww moment at some point.
All my rage.
WELL THEN NEITHER AM I *massive eye roll*
oh you two wonderful stupid little dorks. But it’s better this way. This at least at this point would be terrible for Amber
Wonderful comic. This hits so close to home for me because I would have and did do the exact same thing when I was their age. Even now, years after being completely out as gay, I’m still terrified of expressing any interest unless I know well in advance that the other man is gay. You capture that so well and it hits even deeper because it’s on both sides, though the details are a little different than what I’ve faced.
So many people face tons add fear, doubt, and confusion with their sexuality and I hope such a great portrayal of that helps people understand why it’s so important to be completely and totally accepting without caveat or exception.
Also, long time reader, first time commenter and all that jazz. Thanks for such great comics! I love all your stuff!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O1hM-k3aUY
*looks at all the disappointment in the comments*
C’mon, guys, did you seriously not see this coming? Of course it wasn’t gonna be that easy–it’s a Willis comic!
On a more serious note, c’mon, Danny realizing something about himself doesn’t mean he’s going to be immediately comfortable with that fact. I realized in high school that I also found dudes attractive, but denied that fact to myself and even thought myself “disgusting” for feeling it. Only toward the end of college did I finally admit it to myself and start accepting it, and even then PUBLIC admission doesn’t immediately follow.
Danny spend most of his life assuming he was straight. Ethan is trying to toss himself back into the closet. Of course it’d be this way, for now.
This strip just feels like the manga “Mentaiko – The Boy Who Cried Wolf”, except the smex part.
… I love that one.:c
I disagree, but I also quoted that very manga to another commenter <:3c
Why do ethan have to be so cute ans nice?!
I am a little worried that Dan will distance himself from Ethan because he’s having a big crisis right now and is in gay panic (bi panic?) mode and Ethan will think he lost a friend because Dan figured out he (Ethan) is gay.
I feel so sad for both of them right now. ;___;x
About what I expected really, given each of these characters past history.
In which Danny acts the same way I would have if this situation had ever happened to me in my first year if college.
Danny’s representation if me continues to climb
I knew that would happen. Danny’s going to be confused for a while, and being Danny he’ll probably have at least two major freak outs and at least one big talk with Joe or Dorothy before he accepts it himself let alone does something about it. Dude’s still also technically with Amazi-Girl right now so nothing outside the imagination wold have been good.
I do wonder if Ethan would have still lied if Danny had come out to him? Despite all his protestations of wanting a straight image whenever he locks onto a dude he finds attractive he seems to genuinely pursue them until he hits awall.
“If he had said ‘yes’, could I also have come out to him? No, I certainly couldn’t have. Not even now.”
What are you hiding, Danny? Why did you suddenly close your legs? Maybe a little danner is trying to say hi?
One of these two men is lying.
*cut to shot of adorable little girl*
Porque no los dos?
Because Danny *isn’t* gay; he’s bi. Ethan, however, is 100% pure gay. (at least as far as anything shown in the comics goes.)
Whoa there’s another Ry around here. Weird.
Danny is so far in the closet that he can talk to Aslan.
nah, he only just noticed the coats and jackets hanging and is freaking the fuck out because he’s sure those weren’t there before. But one or two feeling jams later he’s totally going to realize that being unable to unsee the clothes hanging around him means he is in fact inside a closet and that it is indeed a situation he might have to do something about
that analogy got out of my hands and became a total trainwreck goddammit i mean he’s too confused to be considered closeted yet
Two dudes of different ethnicities sitting in the grass on campus?
What is this, a promotional flyer for the school?
Nope, it’s missing the Asian girl in the wheelchair.
Maybe Danny IS Lois Lane. Ethan seriously reminds me of Tom Welling as Clark Kent.
I was gonna say that I think to many people are focusing on the technicalities of whether Danny lied, but then I saw a bunch talking about Danny boners. Like, is that all that happened here? No “DON”T DENY YOU’RE FEELINGS ZOMG” stuff? If there is, I can’t find it.
naw, due, Danny still has some crap to sort out. Random-fantasy-about-gender-you-are-not-supposed-to-be-into tends to be pretty jarring.
Ethan is the cutest guy in this whole comic. However Danny has the cutest reactions. Sigh
Sometimes I wish this was animated. I wanna marathon the whole thing, but too poor for books and internet sucks too bad for tablet. Plus hearing the voices would be awesome.
Look how Ethan’s smile vanishes when Danny crosses his legs. “Oh come onnnn..I cant even LOOOK?”.
I think he’s more worried about Danny, ’cause Danny looks pretty distressed.
Not being gay does not exclude being bi.
Oh for…
He’s not “closing his legs” in that sense, you pervs. He’s very uncomfortable in this situation. His body language demonstrates his discomfort in this situation, it’s the unconscious protection of the body from a “threat” by pulling of the limbs.
Fun story!
At first Danny didn’t close his legs in this strip, he kept his legs splayed open. Then a day or so later I was like, okay, ha ha ha ha, no, he’s probably got a huge embarrassing life-changing boner. Self, you know how boners work, c’mon. And so I redrew the last two panels so his legs were together.
So, yeah.
Include me among the pervs, I guess.
Aw, you just killed the killjoys joy.
Well, I guess that gives new meaning to Chekhov’s gun…
Maybe I should stop reading the comments, the constant grasping at threads for characters who might fall in love and/or fuck gets old fast.
…..most of the time it’s a joke or completely right.
It’s scary how often the commenters are right, actually
“life-changing boner” is a fantastic turn of phrase
Kinda makes it sound like his boner wanders the highways, helping people.
‘Oh, how wrong I’ve been, spending all my time at the office and ignoring my wife and children. Thank you, Danny’s Boner…if not for you I’d have continued wasting my life!’
*Danny’s Boner hops off into the sunset as touching music plays.*
I agree.
Lies! All lies!
So, almost complete non sequitir:
This is a thing: http://davewillis.org/ Not OUR DW. And someone who might take a bit more umbrage at #damnyouwillis – but he seems like a decent fellow, if you’re into that sort of thing.
http://davewillis.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/baby-announce-pic.jpg
need to have a kid just so i can use that image as a birth announcement
Even better if you re-create it with other people in the exact same poses. You have to be the super hyped Dad of course.
And replace the bible verse mentioned with something entirely unrelated.
Is that Kari Byron?
It doesn’t look particularly like her…and since Kari’s husband is named Paul Urich, not David Willis, well, I don’t think she’d be advertizing it if she were having Mr Willis’s baby.
All of these comments about whether Danny’s bi or gay or whatever seem silly.
Everyone knows that Willis works off the Kinsey scale.
next scene: ethan’s dorm room where danny and he are going totally “not gay” on each other hot and heavy.
Noooooo
My Danny/Amber ship
It is sinking…
I feel ya. I hope the two of ’em can patch all the holes, but my friend, if the USS Amazi-Dan goes down, I’m going down with it.
Can you go down on me?
not going to lie but I think Willis burnt the lifeboats.
No, but a near miss.
Danny you’re heading into Danning up territory. Don’t go there!
YOU BOTH SIT ON A THRONE OF LIES!!!
(Whoops…This was meant to be a response to the comic…but accidentally got stuck here.)
Yay! I am one with the group think! My vote for Dina for “Who do you want to see more of?” is currently in the lead by a sweet, sweet 6%!
THERE WE GO
I was thinking this was getting a little too convenient and neatly wrapped up, and that did not seem like a Willis story.
Convenient and neatly wrapped up? 0_o
Ethan, who is feigning heterosexuality and dating a sheltered fundamentalist who wants to marry him and have his babies, had just flopped on top of Danny, who is the recently-unveiled-as-bisexual would-be boyfriend of Ethan’s traumatized vigilante ex-girlfriend, who tentatively began to take interest in Danny despite the insecurities she was left with after Ethan dumped her either after or during failed sex because it turns out he’s gay.
And in the midst of this gordian knot of neuroses, Danny has -also- been hanging out with Sal, the person responsible for the trauma that turned Amber into a vigilante to begin with.
This situation is as far from neatly wrapped up as it could POSSIBLY BE.
Thank you kind sir/ma’am
i guess you could say the situation is wrapped up, in a sense…if “wrapped up” means “several characters are trapped together in a box of drama, identity crisis, and ptsd”
Welp, you heard them guys, they’re not gay.
It was a convincing fan theory for a while but it looks like it’s been solidly debunked.
What universe are you from?
The universe of sarcasm?
Crumplepunch and timemonkey, you made me LOL, twice, in public. Thanks! I needed a laugh after reading today’s strip. #damnyouwillis
Man.. all we need now is joyce’s brother to show up and we can get this love dodecahedron set up niiice and proper.
But nobody is in love with her.
joyce’s sister*
‘Cause though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.
oh my god, I just suddenly pictured what it’ll be like when danny finally comes to terms with everything and I am d ying
HAVE I MENTIONED I’M STRAIGHT TODAY?
You get a kick out of doing this, don’t you? Like, I can see you when you’re drawing, laughing maniacally to yourself, thinking of all the disappointment and misery you bring to your fans, don’t you? “I’m gonna give them this hot scene, juuuust enough to wet their appetite, and then, YOINK! No sexy-times for you! Bahahahahaha!”
I’m on to you, sir.
Give into the gayness Danny! Do it!
In the Buffy comics, I remember when Buffy had a lesbian affair with one of her Slayer students. One of the running gags was Buffy kept insisting it was a one-time thing before going to have sex with her again. That’s what should happen here.
I kind of resent the idea that ethan has some obligation to out himself to danny, btw
But everyone deserves to know everything about your sexuality, and has the right to question you on it. How have you not learned this?
Pertinent Sidenote: The next person to ask me,”But have you actually slept with a [insert gender]?” is getting the Three Stooges eye poke.
*is resurrected again*
*hyperventilates*
*clutches heart*
DAMN YOU WILLIS!
*remembers last two comics*
BLESS YOU WILLIS!
*reads today’s comic*
DAMN YOU WILLIS!
Amber and Ethan “Dan it up” a dumbing of age mature comic calling it now
Oh this is the start of something beautiful.
Muhahahahahaha
DRAMA TAGS FOR THE DRAMA GOD
turbanous I have no idea what you said but it sounds too complicated. So as far as I’m concerned Ethan’s an idiot and I ship Joyce with Emperor Kiva (myself). If that’s ok with you. Wait, why the hell do I need your permission, to do so.
I ship Joyce with me, because both I can love her and help her with her temptations, and I believe in everything. Angels, demons, monsters, aliens, and other universes. Plus she could do the same for me. So I think we’ll get along just fine.
Danny’s reaction is actually really sad… I’d think anyone would be embaressed if someone else fell on top of them like that, but to immediately ball up defensively both in his position and mentally shows that he’s had a very unhealthy exposure to hatred of anything non-heterosexual. I’m guessing his parents are Fox News watching Republicans, or who might not be outwardly hateful but still ‘tsk-tsk’ at how all the gays are going to regret their “chosen lifestyle” when they burn in hell for eternity.
I think you’re reading into it a little too much. I’m the first person to agree that LGBTQ get’s short shrift in a lot of modern society, but this… I think this is a pretty typical, normal reaction for a lot of people facing a pretty serious realization about themself.
I don’t think we can assume that Danny’s curling up is to do unhealthy exposure to something non-heterosexual. Its more that he is realizing that he has these “new”(ie always there but not necessarily noticed) feelings, and most likely a surprise boner. Around 18 surprise boners can be embarrassing especially in a situation like this.
Willis himself said that this is basically the case up higher in the comments.
Do they even have Fox News in comics?
Danny just got interesting
Oh yes because that is totes a non-gay pose~ x3
Definitely in character…Especially since he has reason to believe that Ethan is straight, with the whole Joyce thing. I’m really hoping this works out for them! And to anyone saying “There is too many queer people” I have to say why is this a problem? Why does this bother you? They’re just people so sit down and enjoy the comic.
I really want Ethan to find someone… but this is going to be the SECOND guy Amber is going to get close to and lose (provided the adorable senario-Im not gay I’m not gay either jk I’m totally gay for you sexy times- in my head plays out!) And if this happens… what is Amber’s reaction going to be??? The two guys she’s fallen for have gotten together! I WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY. S TOP THIS.
re your second to last comment, you are in the wrong comic for that my friend
*sigh* I know… I’m in too deep though, no way I can quit now. Curse you Willis and your fabulous story telling!!
frickin liars.