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Kendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social ⋅ 20h
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You want the secret? Yeah, your ex-boyfriend’s pathetic! Shh.
Don’t tell anyone.
Secret.
Dina: Okay, Mr. Butterfly Costumer.
Costume business, not costume play.
No one retires from the Phantom Limb’s shit-list!
MANOTAAAAAAUUUUUUUURRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dina and Professor Broc have completely opposite energy, and yet both have life figured out.
The Good Professor has deep tenure and doesn’t give a shit about anything anymore
brave of you to assume Professor Broc isn’t a disaster in his private life
I bet he has a lovely herb garden, volunteers at a shelter, and has one of those little free libraries in front of his house.
The reason he was tardy is that there was a cat up a tree, and he stopped to assist.
He called the cat the same thing he called the students, but it was much more reassuring for the cat. A distinct blob of chemical reactions can handle anything, getting down from a little tree is nothing.
<3 <3 <3
Your avatar is perfect for this response and I needed to acknowledge that.
“I didn’t need yer help, ya know.”
–
Demoman from TF2The catJoyce: Hey Joe, don’t tell Joe I just grabbed his hand tenderly
More like, “Dina, don’t tell anyone I might like Joyce. Y’know, more than just a quickie.”
…okay, now I’m genuinely curious how/if Becky will react. I’m about 90% sure she’ll react like literally everyone else so far (except Dina).
I feel like it’s a “oh that makes sense” and “hmm, maybe I have a type”
Or “oh geez I was really mean towards Joyce growing up wasn’t I”.
Yeah, there’s a good variance in potential reactions but I doubt it’ll be particularly strong.
In any case, I just really hope DoA explores the harsh realities we autistics face, just as seriously as it’s explored other kinds of systematic bigotry.
I don’t really expect that to happen.
Come on bruh. Show a little faith in Willis!
And yes, I see the irony.
I mean we’re more than 12 years in.
Any depictions are likely meshed within her getting through her sheltered upbringing.
It might swing a little more towards that once she finds her faith again. (At least I think that’s where the story will go), but it’s already in there.
Joyce and Dina are far from the only autistics in the cast
Hm, why do you think Joyce will get faith? I really don’t think that the story will go that way.
Opposite for me. I think she’s going to be the type to open her mouth to respond with something like “you can’t be” but no words will come out as all the signs flashes before eyes, and then she’ll probably be really regretful for making fun of her so much.
I half-expect it to take Dina calling her out for it for her to accept it.
I half expect the “no you’re not” reaction too. The other half of me thinks she’ll be mostly hurt that Joyce didn’t think she could tell her.
I don’t expect Becky to have that realization for another couple of years.
In-comic, not real time.
A number of different reactions all mixed together are possible, but I would assume that at least one of them is going to be “Oh great, ANOTHER thing for me to be mad at our fundamentalist community about. These just keep coming, don’t they?”
Joe: I’m never washing this hand again!
Joe, barely audible whisper: “I’m touching myself tonight.”
Sorry, flagged you by mistake. I’m thinking Joe would more likely say something like, “I’ll be beating the bishop tonight.”
I’d’ve gone with “spanking the monkey” for some reason. xD
That sounds more like something Jason would say!
i Fat Finger Flagged you. sorry!
was gonna vote for “manhandle my man handle”
I love how adorable his face looks! :3
When they find out it won’t be at all the topic but the fact they hide it.
Once again, Dina is correct.
Dumbing of Age Book 13: Pardon My Tardiness, You Distinct Blobs of Chemical Reactions with Delusions of Selfhood
this is the one you release after a long and otherwise inexplicable delay
I’m still not sure what Dina did to deserve this nonsense.
Becky
The Becky subscription packet does come with a lot of unwanted add-ons.
But if you upgrade to Becky Premium, there are no ads.
You can pay 19.99 a month or 49.99 every three months or 99.99 every year!
The yearly subscription is less than half the monthly price! Bargain!!
… Wait, what am I subscribing to again..?
You’re paying the local government not to use the Orphan Smasher 4000.
But it seems such a shame to let it gather dust like that. And you wouldn’t want all the tax dollars that went into its development to just be wasted.
Why not? The rest of my taxes don’t seem to go to jack-diddly anyhow.
I’ll have you know your tax dollars just helped pay for my wife’s new computer. Not to mention helped pay for the roads I’m going to be driving on to go pick it up, and a few years back helped keep the auto company in business that competes with the foreign car I’ll be driving. I might still be Covid free and alive because of the shots your tax dollars paid for. So thanks.
Unless you don’t live in the US, in which case, nevermind.
I work for a government sub contractor that record and anyalze road conditions road signs and barriers for various US state DOTs and the US DOT so taxes it pays my salary.
No, that’s Dina in the green hat.
(they know what you meant)
Ha!
I was going to say, part and parcel of friendship sometimes, secret-keeping, but occurs to me, it’s interesting Joyce is asking this of her since I know they have a complicated relationship at the best of times. I guess Dina understands not outing someone, though, even if she may not get the “why” of it in these cases.
Dina was also not exactly part of the conversation that Joyce was having with Sarah and Dorothy about her diagnosis. I doubt Joyce would have chosen to tell Dina before she figured herself out and before telling Becky if Dina hadn’t overheard and then joined the conversation.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-12/04-dont-stop-billie-ving/plenty-2/
her referral* to get a diagnosis
It wasn’t Joyce’s choice to tell Dina about her referral in the first place, and Dina is dating someone Joyce doesn’t want to talk about this with. Explicitly asking Dina not to pass it along to her girlfriend was reasonable and probably necessary. I don’t think it signifies anything beyond that.
Dina’s reaction to Joyce’s referral was not exactly “hey, welcome to the club, we might have something in common, wanna bond?” Kind of the opposite, in fact. This has not brought them closer as people, although given that we’re all of 24 hours in, I suppose that could still change.
I’d almost forgotten how much I hated Professor Brock.
I know! It’s like “Someone may have told you once that science is fun. Well, it’s my job to completely disabuse you of this. If you don’t come out of this hating evolutionary biology as much as I hate teaching it to you, I will have failed.”
Some nerd in the back who is already halfway through the main text: “Loser!”
i mean, i wouldn’t mind this kinda attitude for like a chem/bio teacher as opposed to say, a teacher that’s supposed to train future therapists or so lol.
Dunno how easy it is to change classes/would get a teacher fired without a serious thing being committed as opposed to just being a bad teacher but there are sites like ratemyprof out there as well
I kinda love his curmudgeonly attitude so far.
Yeah, it’s like a watered-down Rick Sanchez, but in a good way
…Oh, this is going to be fun.
Fun and/or painful.
Yeah, Dina gets it. Eye contact is just so draining…
That’s why I tend to subconsciously look away from people. Eye contact is kinda intimidating.
They can’t tell if you’re actually looking at their nose, but you still have to be looking at their face.
Fancy hats should come back into style.
I’ll raise you one with hoodies like this one, with built-in digital faces that automatically makes eye contact for you.
feels like that’d draw unnecessary unwanted attention. other than ‘friendly southern’ ppl passing by on walks and stuff i just avoid eyecontact with ppl b/c they usually just end up asking me for change lol. though prescription sunglasses are a thing, might looks douchey after sunset or make you seem like a creeper but you can avoid looking at ppl that way
re: change, yea that’s why I’d have the ability to turn off the automatic digital eye contact real easy, which I’d have in the hoodie’s pockets because that’s where I put my arms most of the time when walking anyways.
It depends on who I am talking to, but given I have a bad ear, I have an excuse and can turn my head a bit when people are talking to me. Still, while I get a lot of autistic stuff like texture aversions, etc, the eye contact one’s usually fine for me.
Yeah, while I am very likely autistic… eye contact and general physical contact are not aversions of mine (I do have more specific physical contact that I do not enjoy, but every day social stuff wouldn’t bother me). I actually really like looking at people’s irises because they are pretty.
I hate to tell you this but uh, almost any trait of autism can be taken to either extreme. Including eye contact. If you really like looking at people’s eyes that… might be considered abnormal eye contact, fitting the criteria for diagnosis (as I understand it). It’s not just an aversion that comes with autism, it’s just that that tends to be more distressing to the autistic and more likely to be pointed out than unusually high eye contact.
Oh, I’m aware, but I wouldn’t say I am particularly extreme with eye contact either way. I like looking at irises but I don’t just sit and stare at them and my eye contact is honestly inconsistent, it just isn’t because I find it difficult or painful or distressing that it is inconsistent.
I am also more a mix bag with physical contact rather than just one extreme or the other. I have some I really like, some I can’t stand, and some I am neutral on.
People also regularly don’t know that autistic people can oversensitive to stuff… or undersensitive. I am definitely oversensitive though.
I was never good at eye contact, but I didn’t realize it was most likely due to me being autistic until a year and a half ago.
Part of me feels like Prof Doc and Malaya would kind of get along.
Speaking of Important information to share (thanks for that Segue, Dina)
I’ve got an update to the inks for the Walky/Billie comic
https://imgur.com/a/MRolX25 (NSFW)
These were probably some of my favorites to ink.
Also while I’m here I wanted to ask. Now that I’ve made some headway in these inks I’m looking back at early pages and thinking of finalizing them. (ie. Add dialogue, backgrounds, etc.) But also I can imagine people wanna see the rest of the story inked. So I wanted to ask what would you guys prefer.
A. Continue inking the characters for the next few pages
B. Go back and Finalize the comics I already inked
C. Do a combination of both.
I already asked on my patreon but I figured I might as well cast a wide net.
My vote is for C, assuming you don’t stress out by trying to do too much.
Naw. I will temper each option with a healthy dose of laziness.
I also vote for C, though if balance becomes difficult, I would focus on moving forward in the story while just adding dialogue to the older ones.
C with a health dose of laziness sounds good to me.
I vote for A. Because it means we see inked Billy with her hair down sooner
I also would prefer Option C+
My choice is B, the dialogue are great
Haha I won’t lie I wanna tweak al the dialogue I wrote. I feel like a lot of it feels kinda bad or unnatural.
D. Whatever gets the job done with the minimum stress necessary to actually finish.
Looks great, and they’re my favorites too.
fuck everyone else i respect Dina
This is a correct stance and you should say it
There is something very sweet about seeing Joe just silently treasuring his brief moment of hand holding.
And here I thought he was cracking his knuckles in preparation for getting REALLY into this science today.
Is that what he’s doing? I assumed it was something more along the lines of what Yotomoe said.
And what the heck’s the reason Joyce is flailing her hand around so much?
And lastly, why are they standing in a lecture hall? Don’t they have chairs?
The glass screen implies it’s a Lab class, not a lecture hall
Stairwell, or lobby on an upper floor. they still haven’t made it to the lecture hall yet. But I second the question of why they don’t sit in the lecture hall.
It’s not a stairwell and they’re already in class. This is the same room they’re always in for Brock’s class.
As shown here, in fact. Be a little weird for them to participate in a class, safety gear included, from outside the classroom.
He’s got the big sparkly eye dots so i was also he was treasuring it…
gotta shake the weird loaded skin sensation off.
…. that’s definitely a thing everyone experiences and just mostly has the social wherewithal to not actually DO so obviously, right?
DEFINITELY everyone has it with spiders, (cue someone who keeps pets YEH OKAY), the shake-off even when you Know it’s not on you/was just plastic/whatever.
so like that. gotta shake to reset.
Or her grip was so tight that she’s shaking some blood back into the hand.
They just let go. She’s embarassedly shaking free of his grip and expressing that. The fact that he’s doing it at the same time as her is what cues that it is about the hand holding for both of them.
Yeah, I don’t get the impression either one disliked it, they’re just awkwardly shaking it off.
Whaddaya mean, “his grip”? She was holding his hand, which was completely open in a high-five gesture still, last we saw.
I think Joyce is literally trying to “shake” the feeling off. And I think Joe might be doing the opposite, maybe trying to “hold on” to the memory of it.
I’m guessing ‘boy cooties’.
I wonder if she’s flapping?
(Some autistic people flap to express strong emotions. I am one. Many of us are trained out of it by social stigma. People tried to train me out of it and failed.
I still flap, especially in response to finding something really funny or being really excited.)
Could also be boy cooties, but it would be nice to see someone who moves like me in a comic.
(Part of why I like Entrapta. She moves and emotes like me a lot. Exuberantly emotive autistic presentations need more rep
)
Right? Entrapta’s just WONDERFUL
🥹
And the puppy dog eyes!
You touch his you hand, you gain two
…I don’t know if it warrants a spin on the hacked muzak turntable, since it’s not exactly topical to today’s strip, but right now I’m listening to “Splendor & Misery,” by clipping. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpXiEb2KVoY) Odd and fascinating, if anyone feels like venturing a listen.
Somewhat more sonorous and catchy, is “The Deep,” by the same group. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT1ujfuXFVo) Apropos of today’s news about hurricanes and typhoons rising out of the sea.
MASSIVE Trigger warning for discussions of racism and history in the lyrics, though, as well as for some of the language used.
Well, I mean, they’re about science and falling in love and reality rebelling against expectations… so SOMEWHAT topical…
Is this going to be a thing now? The whole cast dumping secrets on Dina?
“Our problems are your problems.”
It’s called “outsourcing” /s
Nice one.
Nobody’s worried about DINA’s reaction to anything! It’s because Dina is the most normal, sane and reasonable person in the cast.
What you said, but without the sarcasm.
Unless of course, there was no sarcasm, in which case please ignore any in mine.
Yeah sorry my sarcasm detector is kinda broken!
Well, it’s better than dumping it on Carla, I suppose. That one has already happened a truly distressing number of times.
Dina should get her own spin-off when Dumbing of Age ends.
Is that a 4th wall break? Has someone been watching She-Hulk?
i feel like ppl would be able to hear each other from that range unless you have really bad hearing or focused on something else (tho occasionally i have had issues hearing around some ppl during my school years, but felt too impolite/awkward to ask them to repeat it more than once [plus y’know, among teens the ones who are relishing every opportunity to be insufferable would double down and yell it])
She made sure to say it when Joyce was looking down so she couldn’t read her speech bubble.
It’s cartoon sound physics. Joyce might have been able to hear Becky, but Becky definitely didn’t hear Joyce because she was out of frame at the time.
When I was in high school, I got blamed for sharing secrets for exactly this reason: the morons reminded me too explicitly to not share their secret while roughly this far away from the other person.
Profoundly stupid, and yet it happened multiple times. If we go as far as to count all of the times they did it while just in earshot rather than this close, we’re probably talking dozens of times.
Sure, I went to a big high school and I tried to talk with everyone. But it wasn’t that big. (It was specifically small enough that I was able to imagine that it would be possible to actually talk with everyone there, but too large for it to have really been possible. In hindsight, I’m sure I missed somebody.) I didn’t get to a ‘confidant’ level of social interaction with the vast majority of those people, but there were a number for whom that level was surprisingly low. This was *mostly* the group that had this problem, as the kids I actually spent enough time to get to that level of interaction more legitimately mostly seemed to have enough going on upstairs to recognize how such a reminder could be problematic.
Very possibly some of them wanted that secret to come out, but couldn’t quite admit it even to themselves.
how on EARTH do Becky and Joyce not hear each other at this distance? Is this a fucking bit they’re doing?
I think they’re whispering. It’s shown in regular size font tho for obvious reasons.
That’s what dotted-line speech bubbles or greyed-out text is for, no?
Those might work well with black and white comics, but I don’t think those go too good with DoA’s style.
Thinking it’s whispering, plus the classroom probably having a lot of people murmuring in their own bubbles, so it’s standing out a little less.
And Doc Brock is probably still talking, projecting enough to be heard all the way to the back, even if we don’t have bubbles for him. There’s a lot of white noise for it to disappear into, basically.
I think it’s fair to call it a conceit of the medium. The dialog indicates that they’re speaking privately, so we should assume that’s true even if it looks weird because this is a 4 panel comic. There’s by its very nature some loss of detail we’d pick up on IRL.
Becky: Man, all of Joyce’s recent weirdness makes sense if she’s autistic!
Dinah: That is not how autism works, Becky.
Becky: Well, it’s not like you are.
Dinah: *stare*
Joe’s got it baaaaaaad.
I really, really, really want him to whack up the courage to talk to Danny about ‘oh no feelings!’ Danny would give him good advice and probably mock him in a way that makes him feel better. As he is a good egg.
Given Joyce biting her lip and shaking her hand like that, I think she’s in the same boat in her own way.
Yeah, I could see him talking to Danny about it, maybe. He already talked to Amber about it. The other options are Dorothy and Sal. Dorothy’s his friend going back before college, but they don’t tend to get deep with each other. Sal’s going to be around more and more, so even if Joe doesn’t know her that well, she may have her own insight on this kind of thing.
Joe talking to Dorothy would be interesting, even if my gut feeling is that it wouldn’t be productive. Dorothy has opinions about Joyce’s sexual anxieties, which are unfortunately “just get over them”, and I think that would color the way she’d approach the idea of Joe and Joyce dating.
Joe talking to Sal would be REALLY interesting, especially a Sal currently flummoxed by being in possibly the first healthy romantic relationship of her life. She’s extremely cynical, but she’s historically demonstrated what I can only describe as genuine sympathy for Joyce’s fears and anxieties, AND she might have some insight for Joe about stuff like “leaving behind patterns of behavior that are harming you and people you care about” and “grappling with a reputation you don’t know that you want anymore, if you ever did”.
Sal would be an interesting choice, and probably a good one! Add to that, Sal doesn’t have the long baseline of Joe that Danny does and is a relative stranger, so Joe might actually find it easier to talk to her than Danny at least at first.
But I do still want mesome solid ‘yeah we actually are BFF and this is why’ Joe and Danny content.
Oh for sure. I enjoy their banter on its own, but the sincere conversations between them are a treat, when they come around.
And that’s why you don’t get to be the character we follow very often, Dina.
Poor Dina, caught between two secrets where the person asking her to keep the secret is probably making it a bigger deal the the person she’s being asked to keep the secret from will make it when the secret inevitably comes out
Speaking of autism (and terrible segues but it’s whatever) I tried out noise cancelling headphones for the first time and I can actually focus on things without getting overwhelmed by background noises, I’m really excited about this, I usually used loud music to managed but that typically gets grating after a while
You’ll eventually wonder how you ever lived without them (believe me, I know)
Oh yeah. I was really hesitant to allow myself to start using them (something something internalised ableism and self blame for how I function) and now I wish I could wear them outside the house ALL the time. And inside the house a lot too.
I work with dogs, so I need more awareness than they allow, but otherwise? Noise cancelling headphones and music. Life changing.
That’s great. Noise cancelling headphones are great if you are easily overwhelmed by sounds and people.
Out of curiosity, could you describe in what way you get overwhelmed by background noise?
I’m not sure if it’s the same with alongcameaspider, but MY problem with lots of different sources of background noise is that my brain tries to process EVERYTHING, and if there’s a lot of things to process it makes it hard to focus on anything at all. Having multiple conversations going on around me, for example, even if I’m only part of one, makes it really hard to follow any of them.
It doesn’t help that I also have good hearing, I guess.
Mine does the same shit. And with the ADHD on top of it, I don’t always have control over which parts I can focus on, which leads to a lot of people getting angry over something that literally can’t be helped.
Have you ever stood in the middle of Chuck E. Cheese on a particularly busy day?
Now imagine that you have to listen to one specific conversation half a room away while also studying something you’re not very good at learning. While in that Chuck E. Cheese.
Sounds like HELL 🤮
Yup yup that’s Autism / ADHD for ya
Wow, y’all are absolutely right with that. I was having quite the workplace anxiety attack (still am) and y’all reminded me of the importance of noise cancelling headphones. Put on “10 hours of green noise” by Dalesnale. So much better!
I’m sure I’m the only one with this problem, but when I was killed I was left with a TBI that has many manifestations but the one that causes me problems in understanding people is the ringing in my ears. It masks many of the consonants I need to understand speech, but headphones make understanding way easier by reducing the amount of information coming through so I can pick up on those consonants. They don’t even need to be noise-cancelling, just block external sounds with the earcups.
ReSound Relief is the tinnitus management app I like the best.
Fuckin the, ‘I’ll never wash this hand again’ look on Joe’s face.
it doesn’t make the existence of misogyny worth it, but man, the narrative potential of this happy growth arc relationship really puts a silver lining on it.
Like how Legend of Korra wouldn’t have been as spectacular if the idiot characters hadn’t started in the shitty teen hormone quagmire.
AtLA was excellent, but LoK’s core charas like, ALL had arcs to rival Zukos, and it was cos they started with a fucking bullshit love square. (full essay not included)
(Did not mean to flag this aaaa sorry, clumsy fingers) *ahem*
I will forever love the “enemies to lovers” trope in fiction. This ship has become my OTP (a term I don’t think I’ve actually used since like…2007) XD
Wait, you flagged them? Oh no, you can only do like 3 or 4 of those before the person gets IP banned.
That was supposed to be a secret. I flagged you as a warning.
Wait really? That seems like a…problem considering how easy it is to accidentally click “flag” when trying to click reply on a mobile device
“This ship” being Joe/Joyce I mean. I have not yet watched LoK (I know I should someday).
Oh fuck OFF, Professor Brock
Don’t do a half-baked philosopher song and dance routine at me, motherfucker
…Joe didn’t chicken out from the hand-holding.
I thought he was gonna call it a day again and try to pick up some girl for a fling. Wash his hands of the intimacy. But not this time.
Joe’s getting better.
Dunno why, but I have a feeling Joe is the one who’s going to accidently spill the autism beans with Becky, thinking Joyce had already told her.
Joe’s face/hands in panel 2 is why I love me some good ol’ Willis.
Nobody tell Dina that her friends are abusing her good will.
I’m gonna tell her
I mean, it’s two people asking her to keep something a secret from the other. Neither of whom knows the other is doing the same thing. I feel like the request “hey could you not tell X about Y” isn’t a huge ask.
I won’t ‘cause they’re not
Okay so which brave Joyce/Joe warriors are writing us some fanfic because truly we need it
There is already one but it is not enough!!!
Trust me I know!!
Man, that is a DISTINCTLY sad Dina on the last panel. People keep foisting their bullshit on her.
ew ew ew where’s my hand sanitiser
I don’t understand why keeping information about other people’s health and intimate life to oneself is such a problem.
As a fellow autistic, the difference between keeping secrets and lying can be very unclear. especially as people often feel betrayed by lies of omission. Lying feels bad, and because the distinction isn’t very clear, keeping secrets often also feels bad. Open honesty is much easier to keep track of.
Yep, this. On the other hand, keeping secrets that I think other people might be upset by generally feels better than telling them, so I’d be happier if people didn’t tell me these things in the first place. (I realise that Joyce didn’t entirely mean to tell Dina, and that it would be hard for her not to be aware of Becky’s secret.)
This also means I don’t entirely share Dina’s view in the last panel; I care very much what faces people make, even (or because!) I’m not always sure what they mean. (I was going to go into a Not All Autists rant here, which would have been particularly stupid of me in this case, since we’re literally contrasting Dina with a probably autistic person who doesn’t share her view.)
Keeping it to oneself isn’t much of a problem. I think there’s a difference between keeping it to yourself generally and excluding one person while being open with everyone else.
yeah I can keep a secret between myself and another person
keeping a secret between myself and everyone except one person in particular feels like a betrayal of trust
I’ve only experienced when it’s either being used to fuck me over, fuck someone else over, or hide something that… really didn’t need to be hidden and had some insulting assumptions carried with it that could just have been addressed at the start before everyone else worked themselves into a drama frenzy over what was, ultimately, not that big a deal.
I suspect that Dina’s view is that all the secrets just make things harder and it would be better to be honest with your friends.
I hope Dina puts her foot down at both of them. I hope they react poorly and she puts them in their place. Read them for filth, Dinosaur Queen. I crave the drama
I really hope we can get more Dina versus the Professor. Their hatedom is something I love.
Dina, also remember not to point out that Becky and Joyce can totally hear each other.
Poor Dina. She’s rightfully tired of this “we have secrets” situation.
Eh. The Joyce one was absolutely none of her business. She overheard by accident and then forcibly inserted herself into the conversation, when Joyce did not make the choice to confide in her and probably would not have have chosen to confide in her. Joyce wanting to maintain control over who she tells and when she tells is reasonable, and given that Dina and Becky are dating, a specific request not to immediately pass this news along to Becky isn’t unreasonable.
Honestly, ditto Becky wanting control over who she shares her sex life with. In principle, anyway. It’s admittedly a little harder to take that seriously when she’s announcing it to strangers and there’s exactly one person she’s not telling, to the point where it’s mostly about excluding that one person than it is about actually keeping her sex life private…but it’s still a request Dina ought to honor. (And is honoring!)
I mean, obviously the joke here is that it’s silly that these two close friends are both keeping secrets from each other…but their friendship is severely strained right now, and their respective anxieties about sharing these specific secrets with one another do not come out of nowhere.
As the “Secret Keeper” among my circle of friends, I sympathize with Dina here. XD I dunno what it is about me, but I’m really, REALLY good at keeping secrets. Over time my friends found out and just starting talking to me whenever they needed to vent or unburden and I just wound up becoming the “Secret Keeper”. The most annoying part was actually remembering to memory-dump newly unimportant secrets once word got out and they weren’t secrets any longer.
I just think that if it’s supposed to be a secret, maybe telling nobody might be better that telling a Designated Secret Keeper.
“and two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.”
Nine out of ten necromancers disagree.
And the tenth knows the score.
This is a major plot point on the Chinese drama The Untamed.
Better *than. If this phone doesn’t stop mangling normal fucking sentences, I’m gonna switch to a fucking clamshell.
That’s me in my family. I know things about both of my siblings that they have never told each other or our parents, or anyone else in the family, and possibly never will. It’s not…a psychically neutral thing, but I’m pretty good at compartmentalizing, which means I just don’t think about the secret stuff most of the time, and I’m good at keeping my mouth shut when the relevant topics come up. (None of it is like “X did this HORRIBLE THING but you can’t tell anyone”; it’s stuff that’s much more in the vein of “a doctor suggested I might be autistic and I do not want that shared around” or “yeah, we were sleeping together before marriage and Aunt Sarah Does Not Need To Know”.)
Aunt Sarah can mind her fuckin’ business. And while we’re at it, she can keep that nasty-ass “casserole” to herself instead of bringing it to every family gathering. Newsflash, Aunt Sarah (if that is indeed your real name), there’s a reason it’s always the only thing nobody eats more than a polite sliver of. Like, do you think we can’t tell it’s a bunch of expired microwave lasagnas and Salisbury steaks you spooned into a dish, slapped some American cheese on top of, and then drowned in Ms. Dash? And don’t get me started on that “special dessert” she’s always bragging about like she re-invented edible food, when it’s just mayo and caramel on top of some plain bagels.
Fuckin’ Aunt Sarah, I swear…
so dina is gonna get sick of it and tell them both right?
I don’t see any way that could backfire on her.
There goes that ol’ 4th Wall, eh Dina?
Nah, I’m on the spectrum and sometimes just… State things to the air
If you don’t occasionally bring future time-viewers up to speed on your take on what’s happening, they’re never really going to be able to understand. So really, it’s just common courtesy.
I mean, sure, your life may be so simple and straightforward that it doesn’t need any commentary to make sense, but if you’re that boring, why would they be watching you?
Garfield did the same thing in his comic. Is he on the spectrum now?
Come to think of it, do we have any evidence that Garfield isn’t autistic?
Garfield is a cat. John on the other hand… yeah I’d put betting odds on it.
I have no idea if I’m on spectrum but I often don’t sleep, and so also state things to the void.
I read it that way when I thought it was a speech bubble, but I realize she’s saying this aloud to tell Joyce and Becky not to be so secretive.
Joyce violently shaking the Joe sensation off her hand… (I ship this)
Honestly Joe has been a better friend to her than Dorothy or Sarah in all this. He’s been supportive while still giving her space
Same, Dina. Same.
I end up in Dina’s position a lot because a) strategic lack of expression makes people feel safe to confess things to me without judgement, b) I don’t seek out socialising with people so won’t intentionally tattle, and c) bad working memory combined with general disinterest in gossip means I will forget at least half the details before the conversation is over.
I am also far more likely to take Dina’s path of just being 100% open. Sometimes it means more emotional work straight up as I’m holding space for the other person to work through their feelings about the thing, but way less anxiety in the long run
Pheeeew, keeping secrets from your friends is usually a bad idea, but keeping secrets FOR your friends is even worse.
Keeping it temporarily, fine. But i do tell people “hey, it’s better if you talk to them“…
Dina’s got the right idea!