shut your beautiful mouth

February


Share

Tags: dorothy, joyce

54 thoughts on “February

  1. Perfunctory disgruntled aside

    1. It’s good to set boundries.

  2. Joyce needs her daily 2 liters of High FUCK-OFFtose Corn Syrup.

  3. Someone get Dorothy an ant farm, I think she’d fuckin love it

    1. What about a tamagotchi

      1. Ockshully, people who act elitist about the right way to drink coffee aren’t drinking it for the flavor, they’re drinking it for the elitism. (in jest, also I can’t drink coffee at all so jokes on me)

        1. Dwampre Scorrigank

          Wow totally whiffed on what thread to post that to. Uh, spoilers, people talk about coffee below.

  4. Awwww. Their first fight!

  5. Is at least Diet Sprite?

    Because that tradeoff gets you a whole candy bar guilt-free.

    1. it does not the aspartame slows your metabolism, causing you to gain more weight, at least go for the stevia stuff (or you know take your pills with hot black coffee!)

      (i donot recommend taking pills with hot liquids, it can cause them to disolve premeturely and get stuck to your throat, i unfortunately speak from experience (although) that was taking pills with water, then immediatly drinking hot coffee)

  6. Who is off and why does everyone keep telling me to fuck them??? And why is Joyce telling Dorothy to??

    1. joyce likes to watch

    2. Joe’s part of this somehow, I just can’t quite figure out how.

  7. If she’s downing a 2L bottle of Sprite everday just to take a pill… that’s gonna get real expensive. I mean, I drink a lot of Mt Dew, *and* I have a problem swallowing pills, but I’m not that bad!

    1. Also, not great for your teeth! I’m paying for my sugar drink sins pretty badly.

      1. There’s a lot to be said for coffee addiction.

        1. as long as it is black coffee

        2. Well, yes. People who don’t like their coffee black don’t actually like the coffee. They like the stuff they’re putting in it.

        3. Do you think that people who drink lattes only like the taste of milk

        4. Exactly, Clif, which is why I don’t drink coffee.
          It’s not worth the effort to make it enjoyable for me, and there are other beverages I do enjoy that can give caffeine and sugar.
          I do like the smell of coffee, tho.

        5. @cbroses youd prob like chocolate covered coffee beans, best friend hates coffee but loved those.
          @clif real lattes made with expresso (i know its repeated) are an act of chemistry where you get both flavours and as an enjoyer of both milk and espresso those are nice (especially after outdoor winter activities) but french press can make folgers drinkable (i use salted caramel beans bought bulk that make good coffee in a drip unit as well as a press)

        6. It’s ok if you don’t like two ingredients to touch, without looking down on people who do.

  8. Consider: a glass of water but then you chase it with a delightful treat to make sure it makes it all the way down

    1. I’s say Dorothy should try the trick you do with dogs where you wrap the pill in cheese, but Joyce might consider that to be mixing ingredients and become even MORE upset.

  9. 45°F is about 7°C, for all my fellow metric users who weren’t quite sure what temperature that was.

    1. Damn metric users. You guys are savages, don’t you know that every single unit of measurement should have its scaling system set with no regard to practical applications or other units of measure within the system, and that they should only add into larger units at seemingly random quantities. Increases by base 10 from cm to meter to km? I will take my 3 feet to a yard and 1,760 yards to a mile, thank you very much.
      The only time I want meteric nonsense around is to jam it haphazardly into systems that already use the US customary units. Everyone knows drinks should come as six ounce, eight ounce, 16 ounce (already exactly 1 pint but never cut out the unneeded syllablus and call it that), and one liter (its basically 2 pints but why do that when you can add an ounce and a billion digit fraction of one and jump to a utterly different system of measurement). Your not using your head! Think, IntangibleMatter, Thnk!

    2. Did you know -40F and -40C are the same temperature?

    3. 45º C is more survivable than 7º C.

      1. i think you have that backwards, 45c will kill most canadians

      2. 7º C’s definitely more comfortable if you’re dressed for it, but 45º C might have the edge in terms of what an undressed human can withstand? I don’t actually know offhand, I feel like it could go either way, heatstroke is no joke

        1. Lazy internet research is indicating that I probably should have trusted my gut that this wasn’t even technically correct.

        2. 45c heatstroke will kill you far faster than exposure at 7c, a naked human in the sun an moving could survive hours at 7c,

  10. The stage of the relationship where they start to figure out the incompatibilities of their particular neurodivergences.

  11. Wow, something Joyce won’t do even for Dorothy. And it doesn’t even involve foods touching!

    Possible Chekov’s weighted blanket in panel 1?

  12. If Joyce ever needs to take more than one pill at the same time, does she need an entire 2-liter bottle of sprite for each?

  13. You’d think water’s purity* would appeal to Joyce’s OCD.

    * As long as she doesn’t know how easily water bonds with virtually any other substance to the point where you can’t get “pure” H20 outside of a lab.

    1. If she’s anything like me, I bet it’s temp based. I can guzzle some nice ice cold water but if it’s room temp? Blegh.

  14. that sounds like a lot of pee

    1. Kidneys are wasted on the young.

  15. Joyce just blew past Ruth and Malaya, and is coming up fast on Amber. She’s also surprisingly high in the normalized-for-appearances rankings, considering that she has more appearances than anyone, and how little of the comic she’s actually been swearing for.

    1. She’ll still never touch Jennifer.

      1. That’s fine; plenty of others have.

        {rimshot.wav}

    2. I appreciate that Dina only has three, just because people make assumptions of you doesn’t put any onus on you to disprove them.
       
      @clif But can she surpass HER MOM (boom, in someone’s FAAAACE I’m not sure who)
      (at a glance it would take four fucks)

  16. I asked about sleeping ladder-side or anti-ladder-side in loft or bunk beds, but I see now that these IU loft beds have the horrible design where the bedrail doesn’t go all the way to the other side of the bed!

    Yeah, if I had a loft bed like that, I would absolutely sleep head to ladder-side only, because I don’t want my head next to a large unprotected drop. Who designs a bed like that??

    Grr, argh, holy acrophobia. Holy lawsuit from restless sleepers.

    1. So I’m actually gonna say opposite of you (again lol). The siderails mean I can’t easily swing my legs over to get them onto the ladder, and I’m not sure I could spin around in the headspace, and don’t want to try the ladder head-first (most days), so being oriented to back down the ladder it is.
       
      (actually here I’m pretty sure we see pillow on the unprotected end (which I think matches how we’ve seen them in bed… some of the time at least) and she must move the ladder back and forth for desk access. )

  17. Fuck off, Dorothy.

    No, no, fuck off some more.

    Keep fucking off until you’ve fucked your way around the world and fucked right back on.

    And then? Fuck off.

  18. I know Joyce can’t hear this, but for anyone else having trouble taking a pill; put a small amount of honey on a spoon, place the pill in the honey, add a small amount of honey to cover the pill, then swallow it that way.
    .
    Hope that helps someone.

    1. I’ll have to try that sometime, thank you!

  19. I forget do we know if its the flavor or how bubbly sprite is for the reason Joyce prefers it

    She might benefit from being introduced to sparkling water

    Not as good as just normal water sure but certainly better than Sprite

    1. She’s extremely partial to Sprite over Sierra Mist, an almost indistinguishable competing beverage, so, definitely not something she can just port to sparkling water.

  20. I’m afraid to say that Default Dorothy is on again.

  21. I giggled so hard at that last panel. Love these goobers.
    .
    (I also find Dorothy checking in on every action to be very. Relatable.)

  22. 7º C’s definitely more comfortable if you’re dressed for it, but 45º C might have the edge in terms of what an undressed human can withstand? I don’t actually know offhand, I feel like it could go either way, heatstroke is no joke

    1. The edit function is never working when I need it

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.