Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
RSS
‹
›
  • Home
  • About/Read before posting
  • Archive↓
    • by calendar
  • Cast
  • Store↓
    • Main Store (books and stuff)
    • T-shirts
  • Patreon↓
    • Patreon (regular)
    • Patreon (NSFW)
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
or do ah gotta draw a diagram
First Previous Random 152Comments Share Next Latest
Reddit Digg Facebook MySpace Delicious Stumbleupon Buzz Up! Mixx Technorati Google Bookmarks Yahoo Bookmarks Yahoo MyWeb Windows Live Propeller FriendFeed Newsvine Xanga LinkedIn Blinklist Twitter
Discover more Hiveworks comics
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Sunshine Boy
Moosopp
New-kid Kelly is sweet but naive. Luckily, he's got his outgoing neighbor Grey in his corner.
2 Slices
RJ Morel
After a case of mistaken identity, will awkward Daisuke find help from excitable Mamo, or will his love life be thrown completely off track?
Fairmeadow
Kendra P. / KP
A wayward soldier finds herself in a pacifist commune deep in the wilderness of a war-weary land. Living in isolation brings her closer to those she was sworn to kill than she could ever imagine - but also threatens to tear the place apart.
MASKLESS
kickingshoes
In a world where people can wield the magic of elemental Masks, all Ashe wants to do is help. Maskless and useless, with dreams of fire and smoke on the back of his tongue, he finds himself on a strange, dangerous path to uncovering the secrets of these incredible objects, and the source of the monsters plaguing his home.
Spinnerette
Krazy Krow, Rocio Zucchi, Pablo Rey
When a lab accident gives Heather Brown spider powers and six arms, she does what any midwest comic geek would do: Become Ohio's #3 superhero!
Between Failures
Jackie Wohlenhaus
The low stakes adventures of an assorted group of 20 somethings trapped in the declining years of American retail. They are naughty and say lots of swears.
Lighter Than Heir
Melissa Albino
A young Volant woman joins the military in an effort to upstage her war-hero father.
The Lonely Vincent Bellingham
Diana Huh
Vincent is an unkind man looking to disappear, and finds himself in the care of a vampire and her two wicked children.
Hazy London
Scotty
A story about messy relationships. From friendly foes to crazy families. Nothing is black and white, just full of color. But, all colors can get a little hazy...
[un]Divine
Ayme
A highschool senior thought giving up his soul for a demon was a good idea. It wasn't.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Wychwood
Varethane
When Tiara's pyrokinesis is finally noticed, she is captured by a magical research organization for study. If she cooperates, she could be helping to save humanity from a dire threat - but can she trust them?
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Patrik the Vampire
Bree Paulsen
Patrik loves to knit, bake, and help his friends while dealing with his own demons... like his thirst for blood because, oh yeah--he's a vampire.
Lunar Blight
Studio CARTRIDGE, Laura Lee
Lunar Blight is a gothic horror story about an elite knight serving a moon cult who must choose between upholding his honoured duty or condemning everything he’s grown to know.
Sam & Fuzzy
Sam Logan
Troubled by gangster rodents, lovesick vampire stalkers, or confused ninja assassins? Don't panic! Sam and Fuzzy are here to help. (For a reasonable fee.)
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
How to be a Werewolf
Shawn Lenore
Malaya Walters was bitten by a werewolf as a child. After being raised by her human family, she faces the chance to learn what being a werewolf is really like as an adult.
Real Science Adventures
Brian Clevinger
Spin off stories and other adventures from the world of Atomic Robo!
Knights Errant
J.R. Doyle
Wilfrid's humble quest for revenge becomes bigger and bloodier by the day.
Go Get a Roomie
Clover
Experience the queer journey of an upbeat hippie and the friendships she makes along the way! A tale of self-discovery and love of many forms.
Paint the Town Red
Windy, Winter Jay Kiakas
Winona runs a werewolf shelter with partner in crime, Odile in the Gothic city of Merlot. One day they take in an injured vampire, and soon unravels many of the dark secrets of Merlot.
Wilde Life
Pascalle Lepas
Oscar decided to rent an old haunted house, and that's when things got weird...
Come Hell or High Water
Jenny/Star, Mori
Prince Gladimir was never meant to fall for a pirate. Swearing off love for duty, the threat of war propels him back into the Captain’s world of high seas and high stakes. Their relationship could be the thing to save the kingdom of Yvoire - or destroy it.
No End
Erli, Kromi
A queer romance about people attempting to build lives in a cold, post-apocalyptic world ravaged by hordes of undead.
The Witch Door
Anni K.
Katariina Lehto discovers her neighbor is a witch called Jousia Muotka. Jousia introduces Katariina to the strange people and places beyond the witch door...
Solstoria
Angelica Maria
After her brother goes missing, Samantha vows to become a Knight and help those around her in the Kingdom of St. Helena.
Obelisk
Ashley McCammon
In 1908 New York, a young woman struggles to put her life back together in the wake of her father's death - until she discovers a vampire in the shambles of her inheritance.
The Otherknown
Lorian Merriman
Chandra is a 12-year-old accidental time traveler with a reluctant new dad, who happens to be a member of a feared galactic crime syndicate.
Star Trip
Gisele Weaver
Jas is a human taken from her home planet on a trip across the galaxy she will never forget.
Drugs & Wires
Mary Safro, Io Black
Dan used to be a VR operator until his brain got fried by malware. Now he's stuck delivering packages in a post-Soviet hellhole all while trying to adjust to his new life and find some answers.
Far to the North
Allison Shaw
Kelu turns to the monsters of her remote mountain home when her family is held hostage by outsiders.
Heart of Gold
Eliot Baum, Viv Tanner
A pianist with failing eyesight seeks out a priest with a miraculous healing touch, drawing him deeper into a world of miracles and curses.
Whomp!
Ronnie
A depressed, portly, hirsute anime fan stumbles through life in the ever-pursuit of chicken nuggets and other life-shortening indulgences.
Anacrine Complex
Sae Cotton
A superhuman heist involving probably too many pigeons than entirely necessary.
Girl Genius
Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio
In a time when the Industrial Revolution has become an all-out war, Mad Science rules the World...with mixed success.
Goblins
Ellipsis
A fantasy RPG as told through the eyes of the low-level monsters.
El Goonish Shive
Dan Shive
WARNING: This comic often ignores the Laws of Physics
Folklore
Adam Ma, Colin Tan Wei
A superhuman horror story focused on a small band of survivors trying to navigate a war-torn world in the aftermath of the Federation’s collapse.
Demon's Mirror
Harry Bogosian
Based loosely off of "The Snow Queen", a story by Hans Christian Andersen, we see things take a different turn as the demons become central characters, and the side characters stick around. Yup, that's the only differences. Enjoy!
Tove
Severin
The end of the world is coming, and Tove doesn't want to be a hero, but SOMEONE has to look after her little brother.
Clockwork
Chikuto
Cog Kleinschmidt is a diligent, quiet worker at the Mercia Fortress, the world power's leading stronghold. His orderly life is thrown into chaos when an enemy kingdom sends a diplomat for peace talks. This diplomat needs something from Cog - whether he agrees to their terms or not!
Atomic Robo
Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener
The robot punches monsters and bad robots and one time he was a cowboy.
Monster Pulse
Magnolia Porter Siddell
Four kids run afoul of a creepy secret organization's experiments, which turn their body parts into fighting monsters. Part sentimental coming-of-age story, part monster-training shonen manga, with just a bit of sci-fi body horror.
Demon Studies
Miyuli
Four students summon and study potentially dangerous demons within the walls of the mysterious Summerland University.
Killjoys
Flatw00ds
When two disgraced ex-feds fall backwards into trouble with the clown mafia, getting out in one piece is gonna be no joke!
BOOKMARK
Click "Tag Page" to bookmark a page. When you return to the site, click "Goto Tag" to continue where you left off.
Goto TagClear Tag


BUFFER WATCH Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:

June 14, 2026

Exploitable

by David M Willis on June 19, 2019 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Vote for Robin
└ Tags: malaya, marcie, sal

Discussion (152) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    June 19, 2019 at 12:01 am | #

    Malaya cheat codes

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      June 19, 2019 at 12:32 am | #

      Up up down down left right left right B A ShowInterest/DislikeForThatPersonOverThere…

    • ShinyNeen
      ShinyNeen
      June 19, 2019 at 12:57 am | #

      It IS like a cheat code! Oh, and then fanfiction is like romhacking!

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    June 19, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    It’s like the opposite of “Would you kindly” from Bioshock.

  3. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    June 19, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    Malaya couldn’t detect the incredible directness of “Ah am sexually interested in him”?

    I thought she was a bit brighter than that.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      June 19, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

      She has a huge Sal-sized weak point, though. See previous ‘thought she was attracted to JOE.’

    • Sam
      Sam
      June 19, 2019 at 1:10 am | #

      Malaya has never been *the* brightest bulb. Like, she could snark at Mary and outwit Mary. But we also saw her attack AG when provoked and get knocked flat so we know she is easy to provoke. Her warped view of Sal, means that even though this is clearly not provoking her, Malaya still sees it as being provoked as if Sal were saying ‘that guy is hot and you could never take him away from me if I decided to get with him’.

      • HMH
        HMH
        June 19, 2019 at 2:11 am | #

        Malaya needs to prove she’s better than people more badly than she needs anything else. Once she projects onto anybody her own belief that they think they’re better than her, she is relentless and single-minded. It’s hilarious, since she’s a fictional character, I just wish she was less true to reality.

        • Bryy
          Bryy
          June 19, 2019 at 3:50 am | #

          The cynic in me wants to believe Malaya has repressed feelings for Sal.

          • Geneseepaws
            Geneseepaws
            June 19, 2019 at 7:15 am | #

            OMG! Marcie wants Malaya, Malaya wants Sal, Sal wants Marcie’s friendship, perfect triangle.

    • Questionor
      Questionor
      June 19, 2019 at 7:29 am | #

      I don’t find it realistic either but it makes for a fucking hilarious strip so it gets a pass.

      • GoblinScribe
        GoblinScribe
        June 19, 2019 at 3:13 pm | #

        Yeah there’s a weird habit on the DoA comments section where people take every single joke and remark hyperliterally, especially when it reflects badly on a character they don’t like. This is a comedy webcomic y’all. It may not be Shortpacked, but it’s still a humorous comic and you can’t take every joke 100% literally.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          June 19, 2019 at 4:41 pm | #

          It’s partly because some of those jokes come back twisted around in a more serious fashion. The narrative itself takes them seriously. Sometimes.

  4. ShinyNeen
    ShinyNeen
    June 19, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    I can’t believe Malaya is so easily manipulated like this! … No, wait, it’s pretty believable in hindsight. But I can’t believe it was Joyce and Becky that figured it out first!

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      June 19, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

      They lucked out. They have most of their knowledge, such as it is, about romance from pop culture rather than learned experience. This is a very sitcom solution to the problem that just so happens to work in this instance.

      keep in mind, their same background had it where Joyce was, for a time, convinced that Walky and Billie would be a good romantic pairing due to being childhood friends. So, their approach has some major blind spots.

      • Andrew_C
        Andrew_C
        June 22, 2019 at 4:44 am | #

        Appears at the moment to work. May work. Will still most likely end in tears and crushed friendships.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 19, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

      Joyce and Becky are basically characters out of a Disney Channel original film, and as such have special Shenanigan Senses.

      Like, if they adopted a puppy, that puppy would definitely win a skateboarding competition and save a rec center. If they went to space camp, they’d end up landing a rocket ship. They’ve taught so many curmudgeons the true meaning of Christmas there’s a yearly convention of them.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 19, 2019 at 12:40 am | #

        Joyce and Becky should TOTALLY adopt a puppy

      • ShinyNeen
        ShinyNeen
        June 19, 2019 at 12:56 am | #

        … Those are very specific examples and I approve.

        Also yeah, what Bagge said!

      • Robert
        Robert
        June 19, 2019 at 1:41 am | #

        Blessings on your head for that. Biggest laugh I’ve had today.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      June 19, 2019 at 12:24 am | #

      Looking back, it’s actually a pretty easily flaw, and very much following Sal’s exact words. Malaya is constantly trying to or dunking on Sal, and Marcie wants to bang Malaya but is having trouble getting her attention. Point Sal in Marcie’s direction and Malaya will be compelled to “interfere.”

  5. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    June 19, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    This is goddamn hilarious.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      June 19, 2019 at 12:53 am | #

      It really is.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      June 19, 2019 at 4:10 pm | #

      I must be a soft touch. I’m sorry for Malaya and her feelings of inadequacy and for the way they’re messing up her life.

  6. Beef
    Beef
    June 19, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    I’m imagining Sal’s thick southern accent in that fake bad acting voice people do on TV where they don’t use conjunctions and emphasize every syllable when she says “Ah am sexually interested in him” and it’s killing me

    • Jude Deluca
      Jude Deluca
      June 19, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

      I swear I’m reminded of that one scene from the Futurama episode with the giant garbage ball.

      “Now that the garbage is in space, doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions.”

      “With gusto.”

      Sal: Now that ah’m here Malaya perhaps ya can help me with my sexual inhibitions.

      Malaya: MOVE OVER, LOSER.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      June 19, 2019 at 12:55 am | #

      I often imagine Sal as sounding like Applejack.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 19, 2019 at 2:08 am | #

      See also: every homeowner on This Old House.

    • Ryek Hvek
      Ryek Hvek
      June 19, 2019 at 5:29 pm | #

      This was first heard by some of the readership here, in the form of a Hanna-Barbera cartoon character who would declare “Ah am puzzled and perplexed”

      • Axel
        Axel
        June 19, 2019 at 7:37 pm | #

        It isn’t Hanna-Barbera but I expected that link to be a Foghorn Leghorn clip

  7. Pablo360
    Pablo360
    June 19, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    This is basically the Heartbleed vulnerability.

  8. Diner Kinetic
    Diner Kinetic
    June 19, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    this is so beautiful- and I can’t believe an evil plan designed to get sal closer to marcie is being framed as a good plan to get marcie laid

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      June 19, 2019 at 12:21 am | #

      So, explain the first part of that to me? I thought Sal and Marcie already repaired their friendship.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        June 19, 2019 at 12:27 am | #

        They did.

  9. Thulcandran
    Thulcandran
    June 19, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh! This is WAY better than Sal just hitting on Marcie until Malaya gets jealous and Marcie gets confused.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      June 19, 2019 at 1:27 am | #

      Strongly agree! I’m bored of predictable plots where everything would be solved with a little basic communication. This is better in every way.

  10. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    June 19, 2019 at 12:08 am | #

    Wow, I have been trying for months tmarticulate why I think Malaya is a scumbag but she did it for me so easily. On the other hand this will totally get Marcie laid if that is what she wants. But I guess Sal’s question from yesterday is applicable, “An’ to what depths are you willin’ to sink?”

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      June 19, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

      Yeah, Marcie might be reconsidering her desire for Malaya. But it’s interesting what’s revealed about Malaya. She finds herself inadequate as compared to Sal. It’s easier to tear Sal down than to find and build on her own strengths.

      • desolation0
        desolation0
        June 19, 2019 at 12:30 am | #

        Far more obvious and damaging flaws have been overlooked for the sake of sex before.

        • BarerMender
          BarerMender
          June 19, 2019 at 6:55 am | #

          This sounds like the voice of experience. Do tell.

  11. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    June 19, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    Dammit, Sal, don’t ruin this for Marcie! That’s Malaya’s job.

    • JetstreamGW
      JetstreamGW
      June 19, 2019 at 12:15 am | #

      Well, I mean, realistically… Malaya is the one ruining this.

      Sal’s just making it obvious 😛

      And Marcie’ll probably still go for it.

    • Shane Wegner
      Shane Wegner
      June 19, 2019 at 3:48 am | #

      Anything that can be ruined by a little bit of truth and insight from a friend probably should be. (Before it’s ruined anyway by less sympathetic sources.)

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      June 19, 2019 at 12:57 pm | #

      I don’t think anything is ruined. Marcie is just seeing what Sal’s getting at.

  12. Jonah Sanville
    Jonah Sanville
    June 19, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

    oof

  13. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    June 19, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

    *”Bodhisattva” concludes*

  14. poofdepoof
    poofdepoof
    June 19, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

    Malaya has never seemed realistic to me but I’m not concerned because this is at least quite fun to watch 🙂

    • Sam
      Sam
      June 19, 2019 at 12:59 am | #

      I am glad you have never had to deal with a person like this because I have. There are absolutely Malayas in the world, that will hate people for no reason, harass them at every opportunity and turn every moment of existence near you into an argument. They can and do try to damage your friendships and steal your friends too. If Malaya started bullying little kids, she would be pretty similiar to one of my high school bullies.

      • Masumi
        Masumi
        June 19, 2019 at 4:12 am | #

        Ugh, and this is where i realize Malaya is basically my first ex. Dude took over a bunch of my friends and then started studying math on the side because I was studying math on the side just to prove he’s better at it. Which he actually kinda pulled off. Still unsure whether to be impressed or creeped out.

  15. BBCC
    BBCC
    June 19, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

    Aaaaaand the weak point of Malaya’s reflexive contrarianism rears its head.

    Seriously though, Sal could use this for serious hilarity if she weren’t trying to be a good wing woman.

  16. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    June 19, 2019 at 12:15 am | #

    Sal: “Ah am interested in playing in traffic.”

    Malaya: “You think all those buses and trucks belong to you?”

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      June 19, 2019 at 12:35 am | #

      Preacher: “We are here to say goodbye to a belo-I mean bratty young woman whose mistake was to be contrarian even if it was against common sense.”

      • Indiana Bones
        Indiana Bones
        June 19, 2019 at 7:53 am | #

        *Malaya, back from the dead* “Think you got rid of me that easily, huh? In your dreams.”

  17. John Smith
    John Smith
    June 19, 2019 at 12:16 am | #

    Plot twist: this is what Marcie has been doing all along, except Sal would rather murder Malaya than shtup Marcie.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      June 19, 2019 at 7:43 am | #

      There’s definitely been an element of “I can take Marcie away from you” in this whole plotline.

  18. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    June 19, 2019 at 12:19 am | #

    *hacker fingers* “I’m in.”

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 19, 2019 at 2:02 am | #

      *Frantically typing on the same keyboard as three other people as text scrolls by in random terminal windows opening and closing on screen*

      Good. Get in there, do what you have to, and get out as fast as you can. I don’t know how much longer we can keep this firewall open.

      • CJ
        CJ
        June 19, 2019 at 3:10 am | #

        Well, that’s how computers with AI work, right? 😇

  19. brionl
    brionl
    June 19, 2019 at 12:20 am | #

    Is it a Venn diagram? I love me some Venn diagrams.

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      June 19, 2019 at 1:40 am | #

      What about Euler diagrams? I think Euler diagrams are even more fun.

      Taking a chance with the html. Wish we had previews.

  20. FLUFFYWOLF
    FLUFFYWOLF
    June 19, 2019 at 12:21 am | #

    Oh my God, Marcie is ACTUALLY LISTENING TO SAL ON THIS?!

    WOW

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      June 19, 2019 at 12:30 am | #

      I’m not surprised. Sal has always had more ego than Marcie, going back to playground days.

    • jmsr7
      jmsr7
      June 19, 2019 at 1:38 am | #

      More like: Instead of just leaping in to protect or help her friend, she is a)checking to see if she WANTS help, b)suggesting a plan, and c)seeking Marcie’s consent for her assistance, with the caveat that she will not help if Marcie declines.

      This is the same thing we are taught in first aid: The FIRST thing you do when approaching someone is to ask if they need help. If they say ‘no’ then it’s hands off until you DO get consent, even if they’re spraying blood all over the place. If they fall unconscious, then you have implied consent until they return to consciousness, at which point you have to ask again.

      CONSENT is probably the greatest moral advance of the last …century or so?… and drives proponents of traditional religions completely insane with rage. The idea that they have to *ask permission* of their ~~potential converts~~ fellow citizens who are on an equal footing with them, legally speaking, drives them nuts and is quite satisfying to watch.

      • jmsr7
        jmsr7
        June 19, 2019 at 1:40 am | #

        D’oh, forgot i’m not on reddit again. ~~potential converts~~ was supposed to be strikethrough like this (testing): potential converts

  21. Eve
    Eve
    June 19, 2019 at 12:24 am | #

    …What is a derivative music taste? I mean all music you like will have been liked by someone else first unless you wrote it and played it for yourself.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      June 19, 2019 at 12:29 am | #

      I dunno. Preferring a Fifth Dimension cover to original Laura Nyro? Liking late-20th-Century country singers without being aware of the middle-20th-Century singers they imitate? (Hey, I’m old. I have no idea what’s going on in current popular music.)

    • desolation0
      desolation0
      June 19, 2019 at 12:53 am | #

      I would think derivative music taste is something along the lines of following some batch of trends instead of having some personal reason for following a particular segment of music. Think liking whatever is top-40 rock right now because it’s top-40 rock or listening to My Chemical Romance to fit in with the emo crowd. If you’ve never followed a band beyond their most popular singles your tastes might be considered more derivative.

    • CJ
      CJ
      June 19, 2019 at 3:07 am | #

      Listening to your Spotify channel?

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      June 19, 2019 at 10:34 am | #

      I think Malaya defines it as “He listens to music other people find popular, but I don’t like, which makes it too popular, ergo could possibly enjoy with actual pleasure, but listen to it to be part of a crowd”.

    • Jhon
      Jhon
      June 19, 2019 at 3:20 pm | #

      We might have a better idea if we had seen Guy #1. Maybe he’s wearing a pretentious and annoying T-shirt.

      (Meanwhile Guy #2 has been dragged into a secluded shrubbery and is being relentlessly Slipshined.)

  22. oh no
    oh no
    June 19, 2019 at 12:25 am | #

    I’m really glad Sal just flat out explained the potential plan instead of having hijinks ensure. …I love hijinks, just not the “get someone jealous to realize their feelings” sort.

    This is gonna be much more entertaining for me.

    P.S. I, too, have a “NOPE” shirt.

    • MatthewTheLucky
      MatthewTheLucky
      June 19, 2019 at 7:30 pm | #

      Feelings don’t really come into it. Emotional ones, at least.

  23. Megan
    Megan
    June 19, 2019 at 12:31 am | #

    I have such a soft spot for Sal that I can’t tell if I dislike Malaya because she’s objectively awful or just because she’s awful to Sal?

    • Swissaboo
      Swissaboo
      June 19, 2019 at 12:36 am | #

      Have you considered: you dislike malaya because she’s objectively awful AND because she’s awful to sal

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      June 19, 2019 at 1:01 am | #

      Why not both?

      • Kensou
        Kensou
        June 19, 2019 at 2:45 am | #

        Like the gif file says, “Both. Both is good.”

  24. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    June 19, 2019 at 12:33 am | #

    MARCIE HAS NOW REALIZED THE POWER SAL GAVE TO HER.

  25. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    June 19, 2019 at 12:35 am | #

    WOW.

    Marcie is being tempted towards making BAD DECISIONS where MALAYA is concerned.

    THIS sounds like a job for MORE TEENAGE HORMONES!

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 19, 2019 at 12:37 am | #

      ALL THE HORMONES!

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        June 19, 2019 at 12:48 am | #

        All the hormones, all the time. UgH! I hate what my body tries to get me to do, that I don’t approve of me doing. It is tiring.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          June 19, 2019 at 1:31 am | #

          Are you secretly Joyce

          • Geneseepaws
            Geneseepaws
            June 19, 2019 at 6:43 am | #

            If I am, I am in even more trouble.
            That is a scary question!

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          June 19, 2019 at 7:10 am | #

          Right? Like yesterday my body tried to get me to go outside. Because it “needs vitamin D” and “fresh air”.

          • Jhon
            Jhon
            June 19, 2019 at 3:11 pm | #

            I went outside once. The lag was terrible.

    • Jamie D Burnet
      Jamie D Burnet
      June 19, 2019 at 9:02 am | #

      The only bad decision Marcie’s made with Malaya is trying to be her friend. If this ends in a fling, awkwardness, and the end of a friendship, everyone will walk away richer for the experience.

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        June 19, 2019 at 4:15 pm | #

        I’m expecting a reprise of Mike & Ethan: Malaya realizes she loves Marcie, and Marcie was just looking for a little action.

  26. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 19, 2019 at 12:37 am | #

    I wonder how long Sal can keep it up, sending Malaya away to deal with posers and losers.

    Probably a long time.

    • ShinyNeen
      ShinyNeen
      June 19, 2019 at 12:59 am | #

      Maybe it can be a running gag, lasting right up until the most hilarious moment for it to be subverted.

  27. Screwball
    Screwball
    June 19, 2019 at 12:38 am | #

    A message for our esteemed host Mr Willis, I’m commenting using my mobile & I’m getting annoying little popup ads, despite Antivirus. Pretty sure you usually like to know about these things…

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 19, 2019 at 1:55 am | #

      Try setting your phone’s browser to request desktop sites. You won’t get the mobile-exclusive pop-ups, just regular ads embedded in the page. I’ve made it a habit to hit Google and flip that setting on the way here when I’m on my phone, and it’s kept the un-closeable redirect pop-ups at bay.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      June 19, 2019 at 1:53 pm | #

      You need to report aggressive ads to Hiveworks.

      • Chris Phoenix
        Chris Phoenix
        June 19, 2019 at 5:03 pm | #

        If Hiveworks doesn’t care enough to screen for them in advance, why would they care enough to respond to complaints? If Hiveworks responds, they lose twice – once in staff time, and again in ad revenue. As long as Willis doesn’t make a credible threat to leave the site, Hiveworks has zero incentive to care.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          June 19, 2019 at 6:19 pm | #

          Every other time that aggressive ads have popped up, reporting it to Hiveworks has gotten rid of them. Every time someone’s talked to Willis about ads, he’s said the same thing – report it to Hiveworks.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          June 19, 2019 at 7:50 pm | #

          It takes less human effort to deal with reported ads than preemptively checking them all.

  28. Raen
    Raen
    June 19, 2019 at 12:38 am | #

    Oscar-worthy!

  29. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 19, 2019 at 12:38 am | #

    Awwwwwwww, Sal considers Joyce and Becky to be friends.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      June 19, 2019 at 1:32 am | #

      Came here to say the exact same thing, hooray

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      June 19, 2019 at 1:35 am | #

      Technically they’re just “uh, friends,” but progress is progress.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 19, 2019 at 2:21 am | #

        Given that a few weeks ago she defined “friend” in singular, that’s HUGE!

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          June 19, 2019 at 2:22 am | #

          But I don’t know what else she expected. As Billie and Sarah and Carla can attest to, when Joyce declares you a friend you might just as well give in and let it happen. It’s not like you are going to be able to stop it anyway.

          • Eldritch Gentleman
            Eldritch Gentleman
            June 19, 2019 at 4:33 pm | #

            She is like Luffy, the moment she decides you are part of her crew there is no escaping.

  30. LeslieBean4shizzle
    LeslieBean4shizzle
    June 19, 2019 at 12:52 am | #

    Gotta say, I really love Marcie’s nonplussed expression in the last panel.

    • ShinyNeen
      ShinyNeen
      June 19, 2019 at 12:58 am | #

      She sees it, all right. Now she’s just gotta process it.

  31. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    June 19, 2019 at 12:53 am | #

    “Insofar as she has any corners, because I admit, she is one curvy gal.”

  32. Falcon
    Falcon
    June 19, 2019 at 12:54 am | #

    I am pleasantly surprised. Hilariously obvious dialogue aside, Sal has presented her evil plan against a shitty person in as ethically sound a process and rhetorically clear a presentation as possible.

  33. Thursday Violist
    Thursday Violist
    June 19, 2019 at 1:20 am | #

    No, wait, I think I still need a couple more examples.

  34. BenRG
    BenRG
    June 19, 2019 at 2:03 am | #

    Okay, this is becoming seriously disturbing. Just what is Malaya’s issue with Sal?

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      June 19, 2019 at 2:12 am | #

      She’s a reflexive contrarian. She’ll be a complete and utter tool just to be superior to the target of her ire. In this case, it’s Sal. She likes Marcie, so that’s usually not an issue except when Sal’s around.

      • Eldritch Gentleman
        Eldritch Gentleman
        June 19, 2019 at 3:35 am | #

        Sal could probably play her into dressing up like a clown going Honk Honk with two sentences or less.

      • TemperaryObsessor
        TemperaryObsessor
        June 19, 2019 at 12:24 pm | #

        Do you mean tool as in ass-hat or tool as in object which can be used to your own ends.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          June 19, 2019 at 1:53 pm | #

          As in ass hat, but considering how easy it is to play her in this strip…

      • Jago
        Jago
        June 19, 2019 at 11:47 pm | #

        …so like a textbook bully.

    • Sam
      Sam
      June 19, 2019 at 11:04 am | #

      Everything. Because she has made up this image of Sal that is patently false that she can try to fight against and harass her for. Some people just don’t have anything better to do with their time than harass someone and try to steal their friends.

  35. Rando
    Rando
    June 19, 2019 at 2:38 am | #

    Now I’m curious to see how Malaya would react if Sal suddenly goes ‘Wow ah am one sexy woman! I’d do myself in a heartbeat!’

  36. Eldritch Gentleman
    Eldritch Gentleman
    June 19, 2019 at 3:40 am | #

    I love Marcie’s expression “I can’t believe I am sexually attracted to that dum-dum…”

  37. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    June 19, 2019 at 4:06 am | #

    Malaya has a concussion or something. That’s the only way I can comprehend her being this incredibly dense.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      June 19, 2019 at 10:30 pm | #

      Either that, or she’s a cartoon character in a comic strip.

  38. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    June 19, 2019 at 4:10 am | #

    Malaya smooshing furiously off panel on the later half

  39. BenRG
    BenRG
    June 19, 2019 at 5:56 am | #

    I’m wondering whether Marcie is reconsidering whether it’s worth hanging out with a girl whose behaviour is effectively “drools when a bell is rung”, even if she does find her physically attractive.

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      June 19, 2019 at 6:15 am | #

      On the other hand
      Marcie signs “Sal really doesn’t like it when you have sex with me”
      “OH REALLY!?”
      Marcie proceeds to have hours of fun. But that scenario feels a bit ethically iffy.

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        June 19, 2019 at 6:49 am | #

        Well, it is not the exact truth, but it is possible that What Sal objects to is the hours used, not the sex, or the with whom.

        • Eldritch Gentleman
          Eldritch Gentleman
          June 19, 2019 at 10:40 am | #

          Naaah Sal wouldn’t even say it, or would for Marcie’s sake, the mere mention of Sal not liking Malaya doing something would make Malaya hyper-fixated on it XD

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      June 19, 2019 at 10:35 pm | #

      It’s a commonplace that the heart wants what it wants.

      But at an even deeper level, the genitals want what they want. And Marcie’s genitals pretty clearly want Malaya.

  40. Jake'm
    Jake'm
    June 19, 2019 at 6:31 am | #

    Now comes the new question: is Malaya playing along to make Sal seem like a bit of an oaf, or is she really just that easily swayed when it comes to getting up in Sal’s grill?

    Are we gonna see Sal say “Ah ain’t jumpin’ offa this bridge” followed immediately by Malaya swan-diving off of said bridge whilst simultaneously flipping Sal the double-deuce?

    • Sam
      Sam
      June 19, 2019 at 11:12 am | #

      Malaya sees this as provoking her and is easily provoked. She would do pretty much anything to ruin Sal’s chances at anything she might enjoy. She’ll seduce that guy just so Sal can’t have him. She’d jump off a bridge just to show she’s cooler than Sal. If there is even a chance it will make Sal look bad or make Sal unhappy, she will throw herself at it.

  41. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    June 19, 2019 at 7:06 am | #

    Honestly, I can’t help but think that Malaya’s friendship with Marcie is part of some kind of a weird fixation with Sal. Malaya thus far has really made it a point to contradict Sal at every turn, or one-up Sal, or try to prove Sal a “fake”.

  42. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    June 19, 2019 at 7:20 am | #

    Oh, hello Oppositional Defiant Disorder

    • PB
      PB
      June 19, 2019 at 12:59 pm | #

      Oh hell there’s a word for it? O_O

      • Lone Wolf
        Lone Wolf
        June 19, 2019 at 1:16 pm | #

        Apparently! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppositional_defiant_disorder

        • FacelessDeviant
          FacelessDeviant
          June 19, 2019 at 2:34 pm | #

          Hm, thats odd.

  43. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    June 19, 2019 at 8:03 am | #

    *Sal drives semi truck through Malaya’s exploit*

    *Accidentally clips Ruth*

    • MatthewTheLucky
      MatthewTheLucky
      June 19, 2019 at 7:44 pm | #

      Live with defiance, all the regrets!

  44. Mopey
    Mopey
    June 19, 2019 at 8:17 am | #

    So, Malaya is inexpertly negging Sal, right?

  45. WikiDreamer
    WikiDreamer
    June 19, 2019 at 9:41 am | #

    *genuine slow clap for social ingenuity*
    Damn you Willis, that is fudging brilliant.

  46. hof1991
    hof1991
    June 19, 2019 at 10:36 am | #

    Marcie’s face in the last panel is because Malaya is ripping the clothes off a random guy. Or maybe she is reconsidering the entire enterprise.

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      June 19, 2019 at 1:05 pm | #

      Marcie’s face in the last panel is because she’s realizing how easily she can get Malaya to shtup her. Possibly.

  47. Zero-Sennin
    Zero-Sennin
    June 19, 2019 at 11:05 am | #

    So just to make sure I’m understanding this correctly: Sal’s plan is basically something to the effect of, “Let me show Marcie how fickle Malaya actually is by using her hatred of me as the cornerstone, and that will kill any interest Marcie has in her?”

    I was up a little too late last night so I feel like I’m missing the joke here

    • Sam
      Sam
      June 19, 2019 at 11:18 am | #

      No, it is not. Joyce and Becky pointed out that Malaya will jump at any opportunity to mess with Sal, including sleeping with Joe just because she thought Sal was interested in him. And that the quickest way to get Malaya to jump in bed with Marcie is for Sal to pretend to be interested in Marcie.

      Sal’s basically pointing that out and asking Marcie if she wants her to pretend to be interested in her to exploit Malaya’s desire to screw over Sal at every opportunity, as she can and will seduce people just so Sal can’t have them.

      • Zero-Sennin
        Zero-Sennin
        June 19, 2019 at 11:32 am | #

        OK that makes a lot more sense than what I was thinking and I totally forgot what was actually said lmao. Thanks

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        June 19, 2019 at 3:29 pm | #

        I don’t think Sal would even have to do that. She would only have to say that the thought of Marcie and Malaya having sex would be disgusting. Within two panels Malaya would be naked and jumping Marcie right there on the steps.

        • Axel
          Axel
          June 19, 2019 at 4:16 pm | #

          You might be right but pretending to be interested is the way Joyce and Becky brought it up, and the way Sal’s using it now, so I think that’s what’ll happen if Marcie agrees.

  48. kilgaen
    kilgaen
    June 19, 2019 at 12:22 pm | #

    I`m glad she`s actually discussing it with Marcie beforehand.

    • egg
      egg
      June 19, 2019 at 1:49 pm | #

      Same! Can’t wait for the plan to go horribly wrong anyway.

  49. PB
    PB
    June 19, 2019 at 12:57 pm | #

    Thank you for clueing her in, Sal. But I wonder if this will put Marcie off of Malaya.

    • Lore Krajsman
      Lore Krajsman
      June 19, 2019 at 2:19 pm | #

      you’re saying that as if it would be a bad thing?

  50. Hari
    Hari
    June 19, 2019 at 4:10 pm | #

    Hahahaha! Very clever!

  51. Ryek Hvek
    Ryek Hvek
    June 19, 2019 at 5:39 pm | #

    Next up, Marcie signs “Let the hijinks ensue!”

  52. Classic Appa
    Classic Appa
    June 19, 2019 at 9:25 pm | #

    Glad to know that Malya got to the bottom of that.

  53. Colineo
    Colineo
    June 19, 2019 at 10:11 pm | #

    I don’t buy that Malaya is that dumb, but I do but that she is that reflexively petty.

  54. Max
    Max
    June 19, 2019 at 10:29 pm | #

    What are the odds that they pretend to be into each other only to discover they are *actually* interested in each other?

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      June 19, 2019 at 10:35 pm | #

      Sal and Marcie? Damn slim. They’ve been friends for a long time and Sal’s never shown any hint of interest in women. Marcie might well be, in a kind of “know it’ll never happen, but …” way. Or as sometimes happens the childhood friendship might preclude that.

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        June 19, 2019 at 11:15 pm | #

        “You wanna f–…oohhh. Yeah, ah ain’t doin’ that, no.”

CHOOSE A SIDE, NO COWARDS

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...
  • Polls Archive
CONVENTION APPEARANCES


September 13/14, 2025 - Small Press Expo in Bethesda, Maryland

©2010-2025 Dumbing of Age | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Privacy Policy | Back to Top ↑