Sarah is the only human left in a world full of mythical creatures and monsters. All she wants to do is live a quiet life, but everything changes when she meets her guardian angel, Jacob.
Demon's Mirror
Harry Bogosian
Based loosely off of "The Snow Queen", a story by Hans Christian Andersen, we see things take a different turn as the demons become central characters, and the side characters stick around. Yup, that's the only differences. Enjoy!
Sam & Fuzzy
Sam Logan
Troubled by gangster rodents, lovesick vampire stalkers, or confused ninja assassins? Don't panic! Sam and Fuzzy are here to help. (For a reasonable fee.)
Sufficiently Remarkable
Maki Naro
Two young women living in Brooklyn discover that you're always coming of age.
Atomic Robo
Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener
The robot punches monsters and bad robots and one time he was a cowboy.
The End
August Brown, Cory Brown
Two aliens crash a sci-fi convention and accidentally take seven nerds on an adventure that spans the galaxy!
The Lonely Vincent Bellingham
Diana Huh
Vincent is an unkind man looking to disappear, and finds himself in the care of a vampire and her two wicked children.
Sister Claire
Yamino
In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
Ghost Junk Sickness
Studio CARTRIDGE, Laura Lee
Two hunters try to survive and end up being pushed to pursue a deadly bounty dubbed "The Ghost".
Cut Time
Juby
Rel and her trusty avian friend Fugue are on a quest to save a world that's lost track of time. Follow them and their new recruits, in a story written with help from the stars.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Awaken
Koti Saavedra/Flipfloppery
Superpowers, monsters and conspiracies. Piras, the spoiled Dameschi heir, fights to recover his identity after becoming a terrorist!
Kiwi Blitz
Mary Cagle (Cube Watermelon)
Steffi thinks she can use her kiwi mech to become a superhero. This idea turns out to be very stupid.
Anarchy Dreamers
Emily Ree
Sparkly undead kids fight society's worst Nightmares in this pastel-punk urban fantasy coming-of-age!
Monsterkind
Taylor C
Wallace Foster, a young, bright-eyed human social worker, has his entire world view rocked when he's suddenly relocated into a city primarily inhabited by monsters.
Alice and the Nightmare
Misha Krivanek
Alice finally attends University to learn to collect the dreams of humans, meet new friends, and deal with a pesky reflection along the way.
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Cassiopeia Quinn
Gunwild, Psudonym
A cute, pantsless thief is pursued across the stars by a buttoned-up military officer in the spacey, laser-filled future.
Paranatural
Zack Morrison
Superpowered middle schoolers fight evil spirits in their rural hometown. Come for the jokes, stay for the cast, the creatures, and the mystery that ties them all together!
Astral Aves
Moon Cabal
A fantasy coming-of-age following the adventures of Astra The Black and friends, as they navigate the mysterious world around them. It's politics, adventure, and the supernatural; oh, and crazy hair.
Starhammer
J.N. Monk, Harry Bogosian
A teen girl inherits a powerful alien artifact and proceeds to make a series of increasingly poor decisions
This is Not Fiction
Nicole Mannino
What do you do when the person you're in-love with is an anonymous romance novelist? Get your best friend to hire your worst enemy for help!
Star Impact
Jack McGee
A young, energetic woman fights her way up in the world of super-powered boxing after discovering the mighty gloves of her missing idol!
El Goonish Shive
Dan Shive
WARNING: This comic often ignores the Laws of Physics
Jailbird
Charlie Davis
An all-ages comic about a recently escaped prisoner's struggle to understand the outside world, and vice-versa. Also, a magic cape!
Lighter Than Heir
Melissa Albino
A young Volant woman joins the military in an effort to upstage her war-hero father.
Hazy London
Scotty
A story about messy relationships. From friendly foes to crazy families. Nothing is black and white, just full of color. But, all colors can get a little hazy...
Love Not Found
Gina Biggs
Abeille is on a quest to find someone who wants to do it the old-fashioned way in a time when touching has become outdated.
Real Science Adventures
Brian Clevinger
Spin off stories and other adventures from the world of Atomic Robo!
[un]Divine
Ayme
A highschool senior thought giving up his soul for a demon was a good idea. It wasn't.
Devil's Candy
Rem, Bikkuri
A lush fantasy about boy genius Kazu Decker, the girl he constructed for his 9th grade science project, and the world of devils and monsters they live in.
Go Get a Roomie
Clover
Experience the queer journey of an upbeat hippie and the friendships she makes along the way! A tale of self-discovery and love of many forms.
Goodbye to Halos
Valerie Halla
Cuddles, gay flirting, weird feelings, and magic-fueled knife fights - it's an adventure across the queer multiverse!
Star Trip
Gisele Weaver
Jas is a human taken from her home planet on a trip across the galaxy she will never forget.
Wychwood
Varethane
When Tiara's pyrokinesis is finally noticed, she is captured by a magical research organization for study. If she cooperates, she could be helping to save humanity from a dire threat - but can she trust them?
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
Fireweeds Moors
Gato Iberico
A cat-headed man and a girl with a sandwich hankering accidentally end up in a myth-infused country where magic chalices are a really big thing.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Kochab
Sarah Webb
A YA F/F fantasy comic about Sonya, a lost skier trying to survive a snowy wilderness and find her way back to her village; and Kyra - a fire spirit trying to fix the home that she let fall apart around her.
Monster Pulse
Magnolia Porter Siddell
Four kids run afoul of a creepy secret organization's experiments, which turn their body parts into fighting monsters. Part sentimental coming-of-age story, part monster-training shonen manga, with just a bit of sci-fi body horror.
The Automan's Daughter
Mike Stamm
Aisha Osman and her uncle Siddig outwit bikers, spies and kidnappers while gearing up for a showdown with the formidable Widowmaker mecha.
Whomp!
Ronnie
A depressed, portly, hirsute anime fan stumbles through life in the ever-pursuit of chicken nuggets and other life-shortening indulgences.
Widdershins
Kate Ashwin
A series of light-hearted Victorian-era adventure stories featuring grumpy bounty hunters, accidental thiefkings, and more, in England's magical capital city Widdershins!
The Witch Door
Anni K.
Katariina Lehto discovers her neighbor is a witch called Jousia Muotka. Jousia introduces Katariina to the strange people and places beyond the witch door...
Wilde Life
Pascalle Lepas
Oscar decided to rent an old haunted house, and that's when things got weird...
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Never Satisfied
Taylor Robin
Lucy Marlowe, a magician's apprentice, competes against other apprentices for an important, magical, Goverment Job.
Tigress Queen
Allison Shaw
A barbarian warlord and a pampered prince try to avoid a marriage alliance that could end decades of violence.
Knights Errant
J.R. Doyle
Wilfrid's humble quest for revenge becomes bigger and bloodier by the day.
Lilith's Word
inkPangur
If you had the power to make any wish come true using just one word, what would you say?
Godslave
Meaghan Carter
Edith has been thrown into the dangerous world of modern-day Egyptian mythology. Fighting monsters and dealing with family drama of godly proportions.
The Sanity Circus
Windy
Magic, monsters and mysteries await in the odd city of Sanity. It's up to Attley and a colorful group of characters to find out just what is going on.
Girl Genius
Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio
In a time when the Industrial Revolution has become an all-out war, Mad Science rules the World...with mixed success.
Between Failures
Jackie Wohlenhaus
The low stakes adventures of an assorted group of 20 somethings trapped in the declining years of American retail. They are naughty and say lots of swears.
BOOKMARK Click "Tag Page" to bookmark a page. When you return to the site, click "Goto Tag" to continue where you left off.
BUFFER WATCH
Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:
I was thinking more along the lines of ‘stop dignifying that godawful list by implying Sal should be annoyed at a 9 and aspire to be higher rather than just think the list is gross and shouldn’t be a thing period’.
Look, Malaya never showed to be a font of morality. And personaly, I find being a bundle of hatred and misanthropy to be far worse than dignifying the list.
Yes, the list is horrible, I agree, but (quite sadly) there are people who would find that kind of thing to be flattering, in some way, without being actively hateful or horrible. Luckily as the social justice movements advance, more people have understood how things like this list are shit.
I know Malaya is an asshole. I just wouldn’t have personally thought ‘dignifying Joe’s grossness’ to be one of them.
@ Clif – Just because other people get up to things that are worse doesn’t mean that the list wasn’t gross and Malaya isn’t being gross by dignifying it.
@ Zee – Most people I know would at least consider ranking people obnoxious, if not creepy. Which also seems to be how most people considered the list before it got leaked.
Honestly, I’ve been kind of enjoying Malaya’s approach to things. She has a low tolerance for bullshit, probably because someone (or some people) in her life have fed her a lot of it. She wants to be her own person and explore her own friendships and relationships on authentic terms.
I didn’t like Malaya’s approach to Sal at first, but honestly, looking at Malaya’s approach to everyone else, I can see why she thinks the “act” is all bullshit. I can also see why, as she tries to probe deeper into Sal’s psyche, she likes Sal more and more and actually kinda wants to spend more time around her.
I think this is just an attempt to draw out The Real Sal. Malaya is trying to engage Sal on a level that is neither aloof nor impersonal. It’s not about dignifying the list or not, it’s about competing and interacting in a personal way.
Can you really say that she’s a bundle of hatred and misanthropy though? The only reason she seems to be that way more so than the rest of the cast because about 80% of the strips she’s in also contain Sal, the one character she actively despises. The only other person towards whom she seems active hostile is Mary and based on what we know of Mary, I doubt it is undeserved. Beyond that, Malaya does come off as unnecessarily blunt and rather tactless, but calling her a bundle of hate seems undeserved.
I think she’s not suggesting that Sal should aspire to end up higher on the list, but lower. Suggesting that acting cool towards Joe made her more attractive towards him, and that is unwanted. It’s more of a ‘lemme show you how I discourage creeps’
Except the most obvious reason for a low rating would just be being less attractive. Hard to sell that as some kind of superiority. No, I think she’s aiming to seduce (or at least tease) Joe into giving her a higher rating.
Which likely wouldn’t have been hard a week ago. (Don’t smoke is the obvious first step.) Interesting to see how it works with new Joe. Or just blows up with Joyce and Faz there.
Maybe we’re thinking about The List the wrong way. Joe tends to advertise it as a ‘hotness’ list, but it could also be thought of as a ‘vulnerable to predation’ list. If so, maybe Malaya’s just going to demonstrate to Joe how ‘vulnerable’ she is.
You get a higher score by being more willing to things Joe believes are sexy. The thing is I don’t think he thought too much about the difference between liking stuff and being pressured, annoyed into doing stuff until recently.
And yea Malaya is essentially mocking Sal for not being a ten, Sal hasn’t even read the list though.
Well, mostly you get a higher score based on looks and probably how you dressed when he saw you and that’s about it. I don’t think he’s ever actually interacted with most of the girls on his list.
Admittedly it’s…almost nice that Malaya seems to want to hook Joe and Sal up seemingly for no other reason other than ‘oh she likes this guy? I’ll show her how to really grab his attention’. Course, a Sal hanging with her bf wouldn’t be in the room as much, so win-win. Sucks for Carla and Marcie though. But you can’t really fault Malaya for not knowing they’re interested in her.
Might as well reply to myself rather than three people repeatedly with the same message: but okay! I might have misinterpreted Malaya’s intentions. Though they’re still weird. Like…if she really is trying to seduce the guy Sal ‘wants’, that’s kinda gross to flaunt it at Sal. Thank God Sal knows better than to go for him. On the upside, while Malaya’s trying to flirt, maybe Sal can have alone time with Marcie to talk.
Malaya snatching a dude she thinks Sal is into in order to show her how to get dudes still seems like it could be an attempt at friendliness. Not a good attempt, or one that’s likely to succeed, but an attempt
Hm. From yesterday’s discussion, I was gonna go real obscure and suggest that Malaya was akoisexual, but now I’m not sure that this strip fits with that. I guess it depends what her actual interaction with Joe is like.
It can also be akoinesexual, if you want it to be slightly less fish like.
Because now I can just think of akoisexual as meaning sexual attraction to that big blue fish that Aang creates when he goes into the Avatar state at the end of book 1, so.
Science is working on curing this, but so far, progress is minimal. Please continue to wear the nice white jacket for your own and others’ safety. The communication restrictions will remain in place.
–Dave, you are in error — no one is screaming — thank you, citizen
Maybe Marcie and Carla can bond over their broken hearts? Though it seems like they’re, at the moment anyway, not interested in things the other has to offer. I just want a relationship to form from this weird little group.
Malaya thinks Sal has a crush on Joe (and therefore didn’t want to talk to Malaya about him) and so now she’s going to try and ‘steal’ Joe, but the joke is on her because Sal barely knows him and felt objectified by his gross list.
I mean I understand the event. I just don’t know the why. Just to spite Sal? Wasn’t Malaya just saying she wasn’t always being intentionally antagonistic?
Yeah, that’s about how most of my college went. Flirt with a girl, get nowhere. Flirt with a guy, get somewhere, but not far. Accidentally introduce them – they hook up, date, and start having loud sex within earshot of me.
Or that other time when I was actually dating a girl and, while stroking her low self-esteem, happened to mention that one of my friends also found her hot. Not a week later she was cheating on me with said friend based on the stupid comment that came out of my stupid mouth.
Gods my college dating life was awful.
don’t stroke the low self-esteem. Softly massage it, lead it to a rumble and just before it erupts, stop, and let it simmer for a while, before starting over.
sorry to bring up old comics in the new thread, but I’m still so baffled by the punchline in March 21
What can’t Joyce lie about? what is she hiding from Sal?
the fact that Faz is somewhat related to Amber? Is that supposed to be a secret?
I do not understand
Just,…okay, I’m normally pretty patient with Malaya saying whatever to Sal because Sal has been an asshole but this is just bullshit. Let me count the ways:
1) Do not dignify the list like this. Please. The only reason someone would probably be annoyed by their placement on the list is that it’s incredibly gross.
2) That’s not even why he rated her that way. It was because she smokes. The list said ‘would be a 10 if she didn’t’ so this isn’t even accurate. And Malaya really shouldn’t be criticizing Sal for smoking if she’s hanging out with Marcie, considering Marcie smokes too.
3) Malaya doesn’t know this, but since Sal’s admitted the list made her feel objectified, this is just extra ‘uncool’ points Malaya.
4) If you’re treating the list like that, yeah, NO SHIT Sal doesn’t want to tell you about Joe.
As for the alt text – that does actually clear up what Malaya’s thinking quite a bit, but it’s also just yet another dick move.
She definitely knows what the list was, and she told Joe it wasn’t the first time she was objectified, nor would it be the last. So she definitely felt objectified by it.
I mean, there are people who exist that would be annoyed at having a low score. Not in our cast (except maybe Malaya because I’ve set the bar for her a the bottom of Marianna’s Trench) but they exist
If someone feels bad they got a low rating, those are their own feelings. If someone tells someone else they should feel bad (including ‘annoyed’ as bad here) about their low rating and aspire to be higher, they’re an asshole.
I believe Other Rachel complained about being rated a 3*. Everyone else seemed to be pissed about being rated at all. I can’t think of anyone, either before or after it was publicly revealed who was actually happy with it.
Until now.
*This doesn’t mean Other Rachel would have been fine with it if her rating was higher. Insufficient data.
She’s going to try and get him to rate her a 10 and thus prove she’s a better person than Sal. Sal not caring about the list is probably seen by Malaya as being part of her fake rebelllious loner personality.
Like it or not we still live in a world where women are primarily judged based on their appearance. This is why guys will so freely give women numerical appearance scores, because as a guy ugly doesn’t mean worthless and as such they don’t understand that rating a woman a 2 is going to be interpreted that way.
it’s a gendered problem because the amount of trouble it can cause is highly affected by the gender people see you as. it’s one level of shitty for guys, another (higher) level for women, and probably worst for anyone who doesn’t fit either box.
Except it is gendered. For all sorts of historical/cultural and maybe even biological reasons, women are far more judged on their looks than men are. Men may be judged worthless for other reasons, but not nearly so strongly on looks.
Yeah, I think you have a point there.
But (aside that) I still don’t believe that men aren’t judged on their appearance first just as much as women are. They are judged differently, but people usually judge by looks at first, if they have that kind of information.
Although HOW they are judged is probably different. Like different categoeries, and it affects people differently.
Also, come to think about it, sexuality can probably play a part in how attractive we find a person.
If you want to see this in action, go find Susan Boyle’s first appearance on Britain’s Got Talent on YouTube. Note how everyone outright laughs at her when she claims she can sing. That doesn’t happen to other contestants who show up with confidence, they wait until the person actually shows that they suck before mocking them. Boyle, however, is outright assumed to be shit as soon as she walks out. This is because she’s fat and unattractive, and as such everyone assumes this means she must be shit at everything. Absolutely none of them can believe it when she proves she actually can sing.
I’m gonna assume that’s a singing show, and not 100% trust it, because it’s a show. Plus that’s once example, you mean that doesn’t happen to the fat and unattractive guys on there? Has any fat and unattractive person ever won those shows? Because I would be geniuenly surprised about that.
I think that she’s going to directly proposition Joe with the intent of getting a ’10+’ on the list to prove to herself that she’s better than Sal. It’s petty and sad but it’s also strangely in-character for her.
Actually, I think you’re all wrong. I think Malaya knows exactly how horrible the ‘Do’ List is, and how much Sal hates her rating. I think Malaya sees Joe as a sick wierdo (which Malaya would find awesome, I mean, c’mon). I think she means to shame Sal by scoring LOW on his List, while Sal’s still ‘a 9’. Remember, she shames Sal for being a poser, for actually WANTING other people’s attention, whereas Malaya is a TRUE antisocial rebel.
IIRC, in the words of Willis, Joyce’s group is one of the anti-Catholic ones. As in, “thinks the pope might be the Antichrist”. Remember those Chick tracts she had?
I’d say no, but well, Faz is holding charts, which are kinda like ranking list. And it’d be disturbingly hilarious. So I still think no, but I’m here for it if she does.
Is it so hard to believe that Sal not caring about anything this just, you know, SAL NOT CARING ABOUT ANYTHING?! This just annoys me, it’s not a damn front, Mayala!
And now for the shocking revelation Malaya likes dudes. Marcie and Carla are not going to enjoy this. Disillusionment time. Which is good, both are being pretty creepy about their crushes. I keep thinking Carla is just making fun of Marcie.
Danny walked toward the massive temple with its white walls and bas-reliefs of hunters and maidens. Although snow and ice whipped all around, it seemed to avoid and curve around any part of the temple. Like an unseen force was pushing it away. The statue behind it was that of a woman, her face was hidden in the clouds but she held out a single hand as if reaching for something in the air.
Danny wished that his friends could see this.
Skadi: So…here we are…
Danny: Yeah…how does it work?
Skadi reached down once again and picked up Danny, holding him in her digits she walked up steps too large for a mortal man and placed him upon a large marble table. Danny faced a throne large enough so that if Skadi sat in it, it would be like a child sat upon her grandfathers chair.
There she sat back and placed her hands at her side. Slowly a radiant figure appeared in front of them on the throne made of pearl. She looked similar to the figure that appeared from Danny’s instrument, but at the same time looked entirely different. It was almost like Danny’s brain could not figure out if the figure in front of him was real or not, like an optical illusion she seemed to flicker with his eyes. For a short time, just for a second, Danny thought he saw something for more eldritch in the throne.
Finally the figure spoke
Luna: So you have finally come young one?
Danny: Yes…your highness?
Luna: And this must be my daughter.
Skadi: Mother.
Luna: I’ve heard you have questions.
Danny: Uhh…yes.
Luna: Than please, ask.
Danny: Why are we here, why did we find a hat, whats going on? Is that Solis guy responsible?
Luna: Please! One question at a time. Listen, and listen well…
Luna: You view my brother as the greatest evil, but even he cannot exert control outside of the plane of existence he was born in. Before the events that brought you to our universe, even I and he did not know of anything outside of the forces we lived with. But then I watched as a hole was burrowed through our plane and you and your friends were tossed into our domain. Since then multiple holes have continued to appear, although no one has yet to fall through any.
Danny: But we heard a voice when we first got here.
Luna: Yes, I noticed you when you first appeared, and took note of your confusion, using the greatest powers at my disposal I placed a shield that would hide you from unwanted eyes and protect you from its voice.
Danny: Who was it?
Luna: I still do not know, but its voice came to me as well, it told me that it was the beginning and the end. The center of everything, and that it was finally deciding to look outward. The unmoved cause, made aware.
Danny: And the hat?
Luna: Ah, that came from a universe where Joyce is a detective!
Danny: What?
Luna: Yeah, Joyce has a lot of weird things happening, there’s one where she fights aliens, and one where she can shoot lasers out of her hands!
I honestly doubt it. Malaya seems extremely bad at understanding other people’s feelings or motivations, for example: thinking Sal has any interest whatsoever in Joe.
Like Emily, I extremely doubt that. Malaya has extremely poor recognition of other people’s feelings and motivations, even assigning malicious ones instead of accepting blatantly obvious ones (you can’t want a light out of your face because it is annoying and blinding, it must be because you hate animals you asshole!).
Is she planning to punch him or rip into him? Seriously Malaya, back off, Joe has enough on his plate at the moment… they could probably sick Faz on her but then she’d break his face and Joe wouldn’t be able to return him to Amber in undamaged state…
You’ve unintentionally struck a nerve with me and I know you didn’t mean to, but honestly we need to stop conflating physical harm with attraction or interpreting physical harm to someone as a show of attraction. It’s 100% not cool.
Look, I apologize for the nerve strucking, and I agree with you that it shouldn’t be, but the problem is that children do it. “I feel strange near this pretty girl. I don’t like it, I’ll hurt her for it” and that makes sense for children because, well, children are dumb. When I was around 8 or 9 I got bullied by a girl in school, and when I met her again after getting out of school she told me it was because she had a crush on me.
And sadly, there are broken people in the world who equate harm with love. They need psychiatric help. And stay away from relationships until they fix their problems.
It’s certainly not cool and we need to stop doing it, but it is actually a thing that happens, especially from kids. It’s valid to show it and interpret it that way, just not to treat it as acceptable.
My response is still waiting for moderation (as it was done from my phone and a different Gravccount) but it was pretty similar to what the others are saying, if a bit more verbose.
They fill the same niche. They are both hot, ethnic, bad girls, who don’t seem to display a sexual preference in public, and dress provocatively. They both, at least at first, hang with the same crowd. Further, they are both competing for Marcie, just in different ways.
Sal, as a loner, doesn’t really want much attention, or care if others like her or not. But, Mal seems to want attention, even if she seems to reject any one that gives it to her. She’s jealous of any attention that Sal gets, and at the same time, wants attention from Sal. She wants what she doesn’t have, and could care less about what she does.
I think you’re spot on. Also Malaya cannot believe that there’s anyone who genuinely doesn’t want attention.
It’s incomprehensible to her that someone would just want to be left alone, so she assumes Sal is playing an act to get attention because that’s why she would do it.
Well, Willis must have read all the comments where readers wondered what is Marcie’s deal. Now we know both how her mind works and, interestingly enough, what she thinks Sal wants.
There’s no way in which this ends well.
Meanwhile, Marcie and Carla are wondering what the hell just happened.
… Calling it now — Malaya, after interacting with Joe _and_ Faz, is gonna try to set JACOB up with Sal. Because esoteric relationship-chart group-theory reasons.
–Dave, the buildup for when Jacob finds out about all of this, *simultaneously*
Yeah, it’s pretty clear what Malaya wants from social interactions and she’s projecting that on Sal because she literally can’t believe that anyone would ever consciously choose to be different from her.
You know, it’s occurred to me this was also her problem with Lucy in SP! She assumed Lucy was acting nerdy as an “act” to get the nerdy guys who worked at the toy store to like her. It never occurred to her that Lucy was just being herself and didn’t care what others thought of her.
… Wait, if that never occurred to Malaya … oh crap we were right she IS the ‘fake’ one.
Yes, there are people out there who think everyone thinks the same way they do and cannot believe that anyone would have different thoughts or priorities in life than they do. Because “everyone watches TV at night,” right? (http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1985/12/12?comments=visible)
I’m starting to think that Malaya is one of those people.
Mal: What? Your list is awesome! One of my dude buddies sent me it and it was awesome! I showed it to all my female friends in the dorm. I agree with all of the negative ones.
Super doubt that he would react like that standing beside Joyce, whom he talked with about the do-list just a few days ago, and who had a few choice words for him.
Exactly that , Plus she WANTS to be on the list,
and as a 10
She wants to be with “Joe” due to his perceived status ,
therefore she immediately sleeps with ….
FAZ is Great….
And she Lets Sal catch her,
And/ or films Them together,
Faz Is Great
True!! I think people are assuming that Marcie/Malaya are together, but really it’s only Marcie lusting after Malaya and not really stating her intentions outright. Although it’s harsh, Malaya doesn’t owe Marcie any kind of relationship just because Marcie’s been doing things for/with her.
Marcy put in? Malaya started learning sign language, she’s actually trying to be nicish to Sal when Marcy asks her. What happens to the friendship Malaya invested in when Marcy gives up on dating her?
Malaya never pretended to be interested in a romance partnership with Marcy. Marcy is pretending to be interested in a friendship partnership with Malaya when she appears to be mostly interested in a sexual partnership.
If I’m remembering correctly, the reason Sal is a 10 and not a 9 (eughhhh i hate typing that) is because she smokes, not because she acts “too cool”. Another way in which Malaya is wrong to add to the pile.
Normally, yes… but she’s starting to grow on me. Mainly because she’s making an effort to be nice, right now. Her typical, “you’re too cool” jibe is often jerkish… but here it seems more playful.
If Marcie likes her, I’m willing to give her a chance… but then again, this confirmation that she has a thing for Joe might change that. A heartbroken Marcie is not something I want to see.
Well, firstly, I’m not sure she does have a thing for Joe and isn’t just mistakenly thinking hitting on him will piss off Sal, which is her primary purpose in life, apparently.
Secondly, I’m not convinced by “If Marcie likes her”; as far as I can tell, basically everyone in this strip is a terrible judge of character, except for some (but not all) of the ones who are just terrible.
No, I think it is more likely that Faz has already concluded that Joyce and Joe are in a relationship. That makes Malaya free and available for seduction. The resulting interaction will be painful… or comedic… or more likely both.
So, Marcie likes Malaya, Malaya hates Sal, Carla somethings Malaya, Malaya likes Joe, Sal nothings Joe, and everybody loves Fuckface. Also, Amazi-Girl talks to Sal but Amber doesn’t, Danny tutors Sal and used to date Amazi-Girl, Walky is Sal’s sister and got into a fight with Carla about cartoons, and I think he and Dotty are off their break? Then you have Dotty’s past relationship with Danny, Billie’s friendship with Walky, Billie and Sal’s bickering, Billie’s roommate was Malaya’s ex-roommate…
Is it too late to take Faz up on that flowchart offer, or would that just make it more confusing.
And, it’s going to start looking like one of those crazy conspiracy charts, where the rise of the Pillsbury Dough Boy is connected to Jimmy Hoffa secretly ghostwriting scripts for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon episodes that never aired, because they relieved the truth about the Goodyear Blimp and how it relates to Marlin Monroe.
So Malaya is willing to seduce Joe just to get a 10 in a worthless ranking made by Joe? Marcie isn’t going to like that, and Carla is just going to watch the fireworks.
Hot Toys Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith 1/6 Scale Darth Vader Deluxe ($495) & Standard ($315) is up for preorder at Sideshow - shrsl.com/4wcx6 #ad
If you preorder make sure to hit the Exclusive versions since they include a commemorative plaque and cost the same.
btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
Josh Gerstein@joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore.
theonion.com/you-can...
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908.
"You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
confirming that the reason there's been no Galaxy Version female characters in Blokees until now is that they felt they needed to make Round Lady Thighs For Ladies
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 11h
Josh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Pavel
@spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
Loading ...
Joe Rosenthal:
The Man
The Myth
The “Do” List
Malaya about to get a “nein”?
Ana, your perfectly tailored snark is one of the few constants in my life. Never stop being brilliant.
Release the Faz
Nobody expects “The FAZ”!
NO!!! Not “The FAZ”!!!
This is gonna mean Malaya encounters Faz. Not sure if that means the obnoxiousness will increase quadratically, or exponentially.
Perhaps there is a graph to explain it.
There is, but you won’t like the axes. *shudders*
If they’re swinging, I’m okay with them.
Faz is perfectly fine with swinging, yes
Faz stands at the top of swinging!
Not sure if I would be more offended by labeling the axes or not labeling the axes.
I think it will result in a very bloody half-asian body.
Billie?
No, that’s a lovely half-Asian Booty.
…why was booty capitalized?
Because Billie’s Booty deserves special emphasis.
*ahem*
Billie’s Booty
Meanwhile, in the Twilight Zone, Malaya mistakes Faz for Joe and winds up sleeping with him. There is a great disturbance in the Force…
Exponential, quadratic, logarithmic, heck could even be an Laplace Transform with multiple axis.
I’m fairly sure that, this being Faz, a quantity of hyperbole will also be involved.
–Dave, and some ellipsis
Is Malaya about to go purposefully try to lower her score? Is she playing chess while we’re playing checkers?
I think her favourite game is snakes and ladders, without ladders.
That’s Metal Gear Solid
Snake?
SNAAAAAAAAKE
SNAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEE!
Badger Badger Badger
Mushroom Mushroom!
Friendly mushroom!
Muskrat, muskrat, muskrat.
Why did it have to be Snake?
METAL GEAR?
What a thrill…
I’m not sure there’s been a MGS game without ladders…
One of them was even 23% ladder.
She’s a pigeon crapping on the board and then proclaiming herself the winner.
I always suspected Malaya’s future was in politics.
The alt text suggests she might actually be interested in him. Maybe she seeks a fellow jerk.
Let’s hope she never meets Mike.
she seeks only to score points against Sal.
she can’t imagine that Sal has no interest in that game.
Mike’s standards are above her. He’d poke holes through her act in seconds
and then charge her a nickel
–Dave, “for the lesson”
She’s playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.
What the actually fuck Malaya.
So, she has two people begging for her a…
.
.
.
tention. And, she blows them off to go blow Joe.
I was thinking more along the lines of ‘stop dignifying that godawful list by implying Sal should be annoyed at a 9 and aspire to be higher rather than just think the list is gross and shouldn’t be a thing period’.
this is MALAYA we’re talking about.
did you REALLY expect better?
I did.
I gotta wonder why? She has never, not once, shown to be a decent person all strip. She’s a bundle of hate!
She’s an asshole, but for all her flaws, I never figured ‘dignifying nauseating misogyny’ to be one of them.
Look, Malaya never showed to be a font of morality. And personaly, I find being a bundle of hatred and misanthropy to be far worse than dignifying the list.
Yes, the list is horrible, I agree, but (quite sadly) there are people who would find that kind of thing to be flattering, in some way, without being actively hateful or horrible. Luckily as the social justice movements advance, more people have understood how things like this list are shit.
You guys are going to love the things that the next generation gets up to.
Most people don’t think ranking people is a big deal, and Malaya absolutely strikes me as the kind of person to do the same thing for men
I know Malaya is an asshole. I just wouldn’t have personally thought ‘dignifying Joe’s grossness’ to be one of them.
@ Clif – Just because other people get up to things that are worse doesn’t mean that the list wasn’t gross and Malaya isn’t being gross by dignifying it.
@ Zee – Most people I know would at least consider ranking people obnoxious, if not creepy. Which also seems to be how most people considered the list before it got leaked.
Honestly, I’ve been kind of enjoying Malaya’s approach to things. She has a low tolerance for bullshit, probably because someone (or some people) in her life have fed her a lot of it. She wants to be her own person and explore her own friendships and relationships on authentic terms.
I didn’t like Malaya’s approach to Sal at first, but honestly, looking at Malaya’s approach to everyone else, I can see why she thinks the “act” is all bullshit. I can also see why, as she tries to probe deeper into Sal’s psyche, she likes Sal more and more and actually kinda wants to spend more time around her.
I think this is just an attempt to draw out The Real Sal. Malaya is trying to engage Sal on a level that is neither aloof nor impersonal. It’s not about dignifying the list or not, it’s about competing and interacting in a personal way.
“He’s a fuckin’ legend” does not fill me with hope.
Can you really say that she’s a bundle of hatred and misanthropy though? The only reason she seems to be that way more so than the rest of the cast because about 80% of the strips she’s in also contain Sal, the one character she actively despises. The only other person towards whom she seems active hostile is Mary and based on what we know of Mary, I doubt it is undeserved. Beyond that, Malaya does come off as unnecessarily blunt and rather tactless, but calling her a bundle of hate seems undeserved.
And Lucy.
Does she actually like anyone except Marcie? (How many people have we seen her interact with for more than a panel or two?)
I think she’s not suggesting that Sal should aspire to end up higher on the list, but lower. Suggesting that acting cool towards Joe made her more attractive towards him, and that is unwanted. It’s more of a ‘lemme show you how I discourage creeps’
yeah, my guess is that she’ll come on so strong, that she’ll seem desperate which would actually lower her rating.
Except the most obvious reason for a low rating would just be being less attractive. Hard to sell that as some kind of superiority. No, I think she’s aiming to seduce (or at least tease) Joe into giving her a higher rating.
Which likely wouldn’t have been hard a week ago. (Don’t smoke is the obvious first step.) Interesting to see how it works with new Joe. Or just blows up with Joyce and Faz there.
Considering the alt text, I don’t think that’s where she’s going with this.
Malaya really didn’t take the list the way I thought.
She read the list in a way that allowed her to try and mock Sal further.
That’s pretty much exactly how I thought she’d read it.
I think she’s trying to imply that she got a 10.
Maybe we’re thinking about The List the wrong way. Joe tends to advertise it as a ‘hotness’ list, but it could also be thought of as a ‘vulnerable to predation’ list. If so, maybe Malaya’s just going to demonstrate to Joe how ‘vulnerable’ she is.
*grabs popcorn*
You get a higher score by being more willing to things Joe believes are sexy. The thing is I don’t think he thought too much about the difference between liking stuff and being pressured, annoyed into doing stuff until recently.
And yea Malaya is essentially mocking Sal for not being a ten, Sal hasn’t even read the list though.
Well, mostly you get a higher score based on looks and probably how you dressed when he saw you and that’s about it. I don’t think he’s ever actually interacted with most of the girls on his list.
been a while since sal and marcie were in the same general vicinity
Admittedly it’s…almost nice that Malaya seems to want to hook Joe and Sal up seemingly for no other reason other than ‘oh she likes this guy? I’ll show her how to really grab his attention’. Course, a Sal hanging with her bf wouldn’t be in the room as much, so win-win. Sucks for Carla and Marcie though. But you can’t really fault Malaya for not knowing they’re interested in her.
She’s not hooking Joe and Sal up; she’s hooking Joe and herself up.
Admittedly this is a bit vague without the alt-text.
I dunno, I think Carla and Marcie’s dumbfoundment is pretty clearly communicated.
Yup.
She doesn’t want to hook up Joe and Sal, she wants to upstage her by seducing the guy she thinks she’s hot for.
Waiting for her to confuse Joe and Faz
I think you all are… SEVERELY misinterpreting Malaya’s intentions, here…
Might as well reply to myself rather than three people repeatedly with the same message: but okay! I might have misinterpreted Malaya’s intentions. Though they’re still weird. Like…if she really is trying to seduce the guy Sal ‘wants’, that’s kinda gross to flaunt it at Sal. Thank God Sal knows better than to go for him. On the upside, while Malaya’s trying to flirt, maybe Sal can have alone time with Marcie to talk.
Who’s being performatively cool now?
Malaya.
Just like yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that…
Funny how much better Sal is at being cool even though she doesn’t really seem to be trying.
The only way to win is not to play …
I *think* this might be her attempting to be friendly.
If it is, Marcie may revise her request to “just don’t be mean” instead
Alt-text suggests it’s not about being friendly…
Malaya snatching a dude she thinks Sal is into in order to show her how to get dudes still seems like it could be an attempt at friendliness. Not a good attempt, or one that’s likely to succeed, but an attempt
It sounded more like “I’ll prove I’m better at this than your cool act is” than any kind of friendly advice or even demonstration.
Malaya, *no* (unless you punch Joe or something).
Hm. From yesterday’s discussion, I was gonna go real obscure and suggest that Malaya was akoisexual, but now I’m not sure that this strip fits with that. I guess it depends what her actual interaction with Joe is like.
Well, she might be like Mike: Spitesexual; enjoying sex if she can do it to spite someone, somehow.
Is that a typo, or is that like the fish?
It can also be akoinesexual, if you want it to be slightly less fish like.
Because now I can just think of akoisexual as meaning sexual attraction to that big blue fish that Aang creates when he goes into the Avatar state at the end of book 1, so.
Huh. That is an interesting new word. Thanks!
*plays Thomas Dolby’s “Airhead” on the hacked P.A. speakers*
If this is going where I think it is, it’s hilarious.
Are you thinking what I’m thinking? It has 3 letters.
Fuk?
Sht?
Faz’ name will always stay in your minds after Faz performed the pleasuring actions described on this graph.
Science is working on curing this, but so far, progress is minimal. Please continue to wear the nice white jacket for your own and others’ safety. The communication restrictions will remain in place.
–Dave, you are in error — no one is screaming — thank you, citizen
If it involves Joyce’s punching hand, it is.
We might even get to see Faz punch someone!
–Dave, a long shot, but…
Meanwhile, Marcie appears surprised. Poor Marcie, but it appears Malaya has maxed her stat in oblivious.
Maybe Marcie and Carla can bond over their broken hearts? Though it seems like they’re, at the moment anyway, not interested in things the other has to offer. I just want a relationship to form from this weird little group.
I’m not sure what happened here?
Malaya thinks Sal has a crush on Joe (and therefore didn’t want to talk to Malaya about him) and so now she’s going to try and ‘steal’ Joe, but the joke is on her because Sal barely knows him and felt objectified by his gross list.
I mean I understand the event. I just don’t know the why. Just to spite Sal? Wasn’t Malaya just saying she wasn’t always being intentionally antagonistic?
Malaya says a lot of things.
According to Malaya, he’s a fucking legend, and she just might be a legendfucker.
I think that says a lot about Malaya that she would equate “legend” status with the guy currently alienated by virtually all the women on campus.
He’s famous!
All attention is good attention, obviously.
Yeah, neither is Sal. I bet.
Malaya thinks she understands human behavior but she really doesn’t.
Carla and Marcie so disappointed.
They never had a chance, since it’s now apparent that Malaya has awful taste in partners and they’re both great.
And you say that with that avatar, too.
Yeah, that’s about how most of my college went. Flirt with a girl, get nowhere. Flirt with a guy, get somewhere, but not far. Accidentally introduce them – they hook up, date, and start having loud sex within earshot of me.
Or that other time when I was actually dating a girl and, while stroking her low self-esteem, happened to mention that one of my friends also found her hot. Not a week later she was cheating on me with said friend based on the stupid comment that came out of my stupid mouth.
Gods my college dating life was awful.
don’t stroke the low self-esteem. Softly massage it, lead it to a rumble and just before it erupts, stop, and let it simmer for a while, before starting over.
Guess Marcie and Carla will wind up together. #Carcie
#UltraMar
sorry to bring up old comics in the new thread, but I’m still so baffled by the punchline in March 21
What can’t Joyce lie about? what is she hiding from Sal?
the fact that Faz is somewhat related to Amber? Is that supposed to be a secret?
I do not understand
Joyce isn’t good at lying in general, Sal’s ribbing her for it while asking who Faz is, Joyce overreacted.
so Joyce has no reason to hide Faz’ identity, right?
Not really, it’s just an awkward situation – so far as I recall anyways.
Well, they are holding Faz against his will. So technically…
Ah, yes, Faz opened that conversation with ‘I’m being kidnapped’.
oooooh I get it now
Just,…okay, I’m normally pretty patient with Malaya saying whatever to Sal because Sal has been an asshole but this is just bullshit. Let me count the ways:
1) Do not dignify the list like this. Please. The only reason someone would probably be annoyed by their placement on the list is that it’s incredibly gross.
2) That’s not even why he rated her that way. It was because she smokes. The list said ‘would be a 10 if she didn’t’ so this isn’t even accurate. And Malaya really shouldn’t be criticizing Sal for smoking if she’s hanging out with Marcie, considering Marcie smokes too.
3) Malaya doesn’t know this, but since Sal’s admitted the list made her feel objectified, this is just extra ‘uncool’ points Malaya.
4) If you’re treating the list like that, yeah, NO SHIT Sal doesn’t want to tell you about Joe.
As for the alt text – that does actually clear up what Malaya’s thinking quite a bit, but it’s also just yet another dick move.
Just…GODDAMMIT MALAYA.
I don’t think that Sal felt objectified by the list. It kinda feels to me like she doesn’t know what it was.
She definitely knows what the list was, and she told Joe it wasn’t the first time she was objectified, nor would it be the last. So she definitely felt objectified by it.
She definitely knew what the list was and definitely knew that it objectified her and she communicated that to her it was no big deal.
“It’s not the first time and won’t be the last” doesn’t communicate ‘It’s no big deal’ to me, rather ‘I’m used to it’.
Maybe malya gets off on the attention? any kind of attention, so the list is a plus on her eyes, allows her to show she is “superior”.
Eugh, I feel slimy.
Every time Malaya goes on and on about Sal’s performative coolness it just sounds like a big ole pile of projection.
I’m getting the distinct impression you dislike the List.
I mean, there are people who exist that would be annoyed at having a low score. Not in our cast (except maybe Malaya because I’ve set the bar for her a the bottom of Marianna’s Trench) but they exist
If someone feels bad they got a low rating, those are their own feelings. If someone tells someone else they should feel bad (including ‘annoyed’ as bad here) about their low rating and aspire to be higher, they’re an asshole.
I believe Other Rachel complained about being rated a 3*. Everyone else seemed to be pissed about being rated at all. I can’t think of anyone, either before or after it was publicly revealed who was actually happy with it.
Until now.
*This doesn’t mean Other Rachel would have been fine with it if her rating was higher. Insufficient data.
was Mary happy about it, or did it just overlap with the time she got a boyfriend?
I don’t remember Mary reacting to it. She was just happy because of Peter Paul AFAIK.
Walking straight into the radius of Joyce AND Faz?
Poor Malaya, she didn’t deserve that.
Maybe, but Schadenfreude.
She absolutely deserves it especially considering the reason she’s doing it.
Malaya’s just playing Sal. She’s more of a “playa” than Joe. She’s GOOD
I’m confused, is Malaya actually going to ask out Joe because of his do list?
Nah, don’t be ridiculous!
She’s gonna ask out Joe because she thinks Sal has a crush on him.
I’m not sure which of those reasons is worse.
it’s probably both, to be honest.
I got to admit, when I was in college, most of the girls I knew would react to Joe’s list the same way Malaya is than anyone else in this comic has.
She’s going to try and get him to rate her a 10 and thus prove she’s a better person than Sal. Sal not caring about the list is probably seen by Malaya as being part of her fake rebelllious loner personality.
Like it or not we still live in a world where women are primarily judged based on their appearance. This is why guys will so freely give women numerical appearance scores, because as a guy ugly doesn’t mean worthless and as such they don’t understand that rating a woman a 2 is going to be interpreted that way.
Oh, I think guys understand perfectly well what it means and how it’ll be interpreted. Joe certainly did.
I believe that everyone judges others based on how they look. And some people will equate “ugly” with “worthless”, that’s not a gendered problem.
it’s a gendered problem because the amount of trouble it can cause is highly affected by the gender people see you as. it’s one level of shitty for guys, another (higher) level for women, and probably worst for anyone who doesn’t fit either box.
Except it is gendered. For all sorts of historical/cultural and maybe even biological reasons, women are far more judged on their looks than men are. Men may be judged worthless for other reasons, but not nearly so strongly on looks.
Yeah, I think you have a point there.
But (aside that) I still don’t believe that men aren’t judged on their appearance first just as much as women are. They are judged differently, but people usually judge by looks at first, if they have that kind of information.
Although HOW they are judged is probably different. Like different categoeries, and it affects people differently.
Also, come to think about it, sexuality can probably play a part in how attractive we find a person.
If you want to see this in action, go find Susan Boyle’s first appearance on Britain’s Got Talent on YouTube. Note how everyone outright laughs at her when she claims she can sing. That doesn’t happen to other contestants who show up with confidence, they wait until the person actually shows that they suck before mocking them. Boyle, however, is outright assumed to be shit as soon as she walks out. This is because she’s fat and unattractive, and as such everyone assumes this means she must be shit at everything. Absolutely none of them can believe it when she proves she actually can sing.
I’m gonna assume that’s a singing show, and not 100% trust it, because it’s a show. Plus that’s once example, you mean that doesn’t happen to the fat and unattractive guys on there? Has any fat and unattractive person ever won those shows? Because I would be geniuenly surprised about that.
I think that she’s going to directly proposition Joe with the intent of getting a ’10+’ on the list to prove to herself that she’s better than Sal. It’s petty and sad but it’s also strangely in-character for her.
It’s in character BECAUSE it’s petty and sad.
Actually, I think you’re all wrong. I think Malaya knows exactly how horrible the ‘Do’ List is, and how much Sal hates her rating. I think Malaya sees Joe as a sick wierdo (which Malaya would find awesome, I mean, c’mon). I think she means to shame Sal by scoring LOW on his List, while Sal’s still ‘a 9’. Remember, she shames Sal for being a poser, for actually WANTING other people’s attention, whereas Malaya is a TRUE antisocial rebel.
How the hell does scoring low on the list prove anything? The simplest explanation would just be that Joe didn’t find her attractive.
I suppose she could beat him up and earn herself a 0-
Mayala confronting those 3? This won’t end well….. (actually it will probably end in an unexpected way that should be funny)
I think Malaya is feeling competitive, not angry
Why do they even hang out with her. =P
Marcie likes her butt. Carla likes her sass. Sal would rather not hang out with her.
The fact that you could have said, “Marcie likes her ass. Carla likes her sass” but did not fills me with disappointment.
“Sal would rather pass.”
**slow claps**
Bravo. That was… beautiful.
You have done us a great service, Yumi.
Mary thinks she’s crass. Joyce (might) want her to go to mass.
IIRC, in the words of Willis, Joyce’s group is one of the anti-Catholic ones. As in, “thinks the pope might be the Antichrist”. Remember those Chick tracts she had?
That’s correct, but not very up-to-date!
She now attends those hippy churches that arouse suspicion to be catholic!
I did say “Joyce’s group” (by which I mean, “the group she was raised in”), not Joyce herself.
To bear witness to when Malaya makes a fool of herself. Makes them feel better.
Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?
*reads alt text*
Yep. Yep, that’s what I’m seeing. Ok.
Wait. Wait wait wait. Does Malaya think Sal is talking about FAZ??
I’d say no, but well, Faz is holding charts, which are kinda like ranking list. And it’d be disturbingly hilarious. So I still think no, but I’m here for it if she does.
DavidDeLaney.exe has encountered a fatal runtime error. Abort storyline, Retry with different universe, Fail to stop awesome trainwreck?
–Dave is rebooting, please wait. … … …
Liar! Sal lost points for smoking, not because she’s too cool.
Oops- didn’t mean to post this here.
Malaya is the liar.
Re: Malaya thinking it’s Faz: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, man, I hope you’re right!
You just made this comic 500% better.
Faz is Great
“Hrm.” indeed.
That’s the noise Rorschach makes.
Now I wanna read Sal’s journal. Willis doesn’t show it, but those motorcycle excursions? She beats up bad guys.
Malaya somehow combining the social obliviousness of Dina with the reflexive spitefulness of Mike.
Is it so hard to believe that Sal not caring about anything this just, you know, SAL NOT CARING ABOUT ANYTHING?! This just annoys me, it’s not a damn front, Mayala!
And now for the shocking revelation Malaya likes dudes. Marcie and Carla are not going to enjoy this. Disillusionment time. Which is good, both are being pretty creepy about their crushes. I keep thinking Carla is just making fun of Marcie.
I don’t think telling Marcie, who is bi, that Malaya likes boys is necessarily going to rule out the possibility of her also liking girls.
Liking dudes does not exclude liking chicks, though.
As Sal pointed out, there is no sign that Malaya likes girls. It’s all wishful thinking.
Well, we as viewers know she’s capable of liking girls because of the Walkyverse, but Marcie and Sal don’t know that yet.
For certain values of “girls” … right?
I just want to clarify that you mean because other universe Carla is a a robot or whatever, and not because she’s trans…right?
Other universe Ultra Car described herself in no uncertain terms as a woman, so either way it’s not lookin’ friggin’ great.
Please tell me you meant that differently than I read it because otherwise what the heck
Sure. I’m just saying it’s not the kind of wishful thinking that will necessarily be broken by her flirting with a guy.
Dungeons and Dumbing part 21
Danny walked toward the massive temple with its white walls and bas-reliefs of hunters and maidens. Although snow and ice whipped all around, it seemed to avoid and curve around any part of the temple. Like an unseen force was pushing it away. The statue behind it was that of a woman, her face was hidden in the clouds but she held out a single hand as if reaching for something in the air.
Danny wished that his friends could see this.
Skadi: So…here we are…
Danny: Yeah…how does it work?
Skadi reached down once again and picked up Danny, holding him in her digits she walked up steps too large for a mortal man and placed him upon a large marble table. Danny faced a throne large enough so that if Skadi sat in it, it would be like a child sat upon her grandfathers chair.
There she sat back and placed her hands at her side. Slowly a radiant figure appeared in front of them on the throne made of pearl. She looked similar to the figure that appeared from Danny’s instrument, but at the same time looked entirely different. It was almost like Danny’s brain could not figure out if the figure in front of him was real or not, like an optical illusion she seemed to flicker with his eyes. For a short time, just for a second, Danny thought he saw something for more eldritch in the throne.
Finally the figure spoke
Luna: So you have finally come young one?
Danny: Yes…your highness?
Luna: And this must be my daughter.
Skadi: Mother.
Luna: I’ve heard you have questions.
Danny: Uhh…yes.
Luna: Than please, ask.
Danny: Why are we here, why did we find a hat, whats going on? Is that Solis guy responsible?
Luna: Please! One question at a time. Listen, and listen well…
Luna: You view my brother as the greatest evil, but even he cannot exert control outside of the plane of existence he was born in. Before the events that brought you to our universe, even I and he did not know of anything outside of the forces we lived with. But then I watched as a hole was burrowed through our plane and you and your friends were tossed into our domain. Since then multiple holes have continued to appear, although no one has yet to fall through any.
Danny: But we heard a voice when we first got here.
Luna: Yes, I noticed you when you first appeared, and took note of your confusion, using the greatest powers at my disposal I placed a shield that would hide you from unwanted eyes and protect you from its voice.
Danny: Who was it?
Luna: I still do not know, but its voice came to me as well, it told me that it was the beginning and the end. The center of everything, and that it was finally deciding to look outward. The unmoved cause, made aware.
Danny: And the hat?
Luna: Ah, that came from a universe where Joyce is a detective!
Danny: What?
Luna: Yeah, Joyce has a lot of weird things happening, there’s one where she fights aliens, and one where she can shoot lasers out of her hands!
Malaya’s a fuckin idiot
Haha! She has NO idea 2/3 of her companions are throwing themselves at her.
She knows. And, she just gave them the finger.
I honestly doubt it. Malaya seems extremely bad at understanding other people’s feelings or motivations, for example: thinking Sal has any interest whatsoever in Joe.
Like Emily, I extremely doubt that. Malaya has extremely poor recognition of other people’s feelings and motivations, even assigning malicious ones instead of accepting blatantly obvious ones (you can’t want a light out of your face because it is annoying and blinding, it must be because you hate animals you asshole!).
Joe and Malaya, interacting. This is gonna be weirdly fascinating.
Of *course* that’d be a turn-on for her.
..is she criticizing Sal for having too high a ranking or for not being a 10?
…..both?
Is she planning to punch him or rip into him? Seriously Malaya, back off, Joe has enough on his plate at the moment… they could probably sick Faz on her but then she’d break his face and Joe wouldn’t be able to return him to Amber in undamaged state…
Uh, nevermind. I completely misread her comments.
She still needs to back off, but for different reasons.
Well it looks like Sal might’ve won her friend back.
What IS it with Malaya’s obsessing with Sal??
Apparently she finds Sal’s buttons especially fun to push.
I’m starting to think this is kind of the way Malaya expresses atraction. Like a boy pulling on the ponytail of the girl he likes.
You’ve unintentionally struck a nerve with me and I know you didn’t mean to, but honestly we need to stop conflating physical harm with attraction or interpreting physical harm to someone as a show of attraction. It’s 100% not cool.
Look, I apologize for the nerve strucking, and I agree with you that it shouldn’t be, but the problem is that children do it. “I feel strange near this pretty girl. I don’t like it, I’ll hurt her for it” and that makes sense for children because, well, children are dumb. When I was around 8 or 9 I got bullied by a girl in school, and when I met her again after getting out of school she told me it was because she had a crush on me.
And sadly, there are broken people in the world who equate harm with love. They need psychiatric help. And stay away from relationships until they fix their problems.
“Shoves is not loves.”
It’s certainly not cool and we need to stop doing it, but it is actually a thing that happens, especially from kids. It’s valid to show it and interpret it that way, just not to treat it as acceptable.
Well, yeah, that’s the point. They said people with that mentality exist, not that it is a good thing.
I made no judgment one way or another of what they said. I’m just saying I wish we could stop doing it.
My response is still waiting for moderation (as it was done from my phone and a different Gravccount) but it was pretty similar to what the others are saying, if a bit more verbose.
They fill the same niche. They are both hot, ethnic, bad girls, who don’t seem to display a sexual preference in public, and dress provocatively. They both, at least at first, hang with the same crowd. Further, they are both competing for Marcie, just in different ways.
Sal, as a loner, doesn’t really want much attention, or care if others like her or not. But, Mal seems to want attention, even if she seems to reject any one that gives it to her. She’s jealous of any attention that Sal gets, and at the same time, wants attention from Sal. She wants what she doesn’t have, and could care less about what she does.
I think you’re spot on. Also Malaya cannot believe that there’s anyone who genuinely doesn’t want attention.
It’s incomprehensible to her that someone would just want to be left alone, so she assumes Sal is playing an act to get attention because that’s why she would do it.
So if Joe sees her and says “Malaya”, will her response be “Is that an invitation?”
I’ll show myself to the door.
Well, Willis must have read all the comments where readers wondered what is Marcie’s deal. Now we know both how her mind works and, interestingly enough, what she thinks Sal wants.
There’s no way in which this ends well.
Meanwhile, Marcie and Carla are wondering what the hell just happened.
Did you possibly mean “Malaya” with your first “Marcie”? (sorry, otherwise, I’m confused with what you actually mean)
Yeah; for some reason my brain keeps swapping the two ladies’ names over!
I love how there are four people in this conversation and essentially none of them are actually having the same conversation XD
This is one of the funniest strips/arc premises that Willis has ever come up with.
If M tries to set up Joe and Sal, I’ll fucking cry
… Calling it now — Malaya, after interacting with Joe _and_ Faz, is gonna try to set JACOB up with Sal. Because esoteric relationship-chart group-theory reasons.
–Dave, the buildup for when Jacob finds out about all of this, *simultaneously*
Seems like Malaya lept to a kinda dumb conclusion about Sal’s motives.
Yeah, it’s pretty clear what Malaya wants from social interactions and she’s projecting that on Sal because she literally can’t believe that anyone would ever consciously choose to be different from her.
Yep. :p
IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE
THANK YOU BENRG
You know, it’s occurred to me this was also her problem with Lucy in SP! She assumed Lucy was acting nerdy as an “act” to get the nerdy guys who worked at the toy store to like her. It never occurred to her that Lucy was just being herself and didn’t care what others thought of her.
… Wait, if that never occurred to Malaya … oh crap we were right she IS the ‘fake’ one.
Yes, there are people out there who think everyone thinks the same way they do and cannot believe that anyone would have different thoughts or priorities in life than they do. Because “everyone watches TV at night,” right? (http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1985/12/12?comments=visible)
I’m starting to think that Malaya is one of those people.
Not a lot different from what a lot of us do from time to time especially me on some occasions.
I love how fucking confused everyone is by Malaya right now <3
"a what" indeed
like, nobody saw THAT one coming
I predict this:
Mal: You’re the Do list guy?
Joe: I DIDN’T MEAN IT!
Mal: What? Your list is awesome! One of my dude buddies sent me it and it was awesome! I showed it to all my female friends in the dorm. I agree with all of the negative ones.
Joe: :-O
There’s nothing better to make you regret your life-course than an obnoxious person telling you that it’s cool.
“Your approval fills me with shame.”
Joe is so shocked by Malaya’s response that he instantly transforms into Blowjob Cat? XD
Joe was always Blowjob Cat. The two were as one. It’s also his superhero name when he goes mad and joins Amber on the roof.
add cat to cart
–Dave, taaaake my money
Super doubt that he would react like that standing beside Joyce, whom he talked with about the do-list just a few days ago, and who had a few choice words for him.
I actually assume he’s reacting with horror while Malaya is the one who likes it.
It’ll be so awkward.
In which case I hope someone kicks her in the shins.
Congratulations, Malaya, you played yourself
That, or she’s really into douches.
Why can’t it be both.
If Malaya is going to hit on Joe just because she thinks it will piss off Sal then…. WTF Malaya?
Yes.
Exactly that , Plus she WANTS to be on the list,
and as a 10
She wants to be with “Joe” due to his perceived status ,
therefore she immediately sleeps with ….
FAZ is Great….
And she Lets Sal catch her,
And/ or films Them together,
Faz Is Great
… what the hell, Malaya?
I hope Malaya isn’t going to hit on Joe now. Like what the hell man! Poor Marcie! After all the hard work she has put in!!
Hard work doesn’t earn you a relationship. Especially if you don’t ever ask the girl out.
True!! I think people are assuming that Marcie/Malaya are together, but really it’s only Marcie lusting after Malaya and not really stating her intentions outright. Although it’s harsh, Malaya doesn’t owe Marcie any kind of relationship just because Marcie’s been doing things for/with her.
Marcy put in? Malaya started learning sign language, she’s actually trying to be nicish to Sal when Marcy asks her. What happens to the friendship Malaya invested in when Marcy gives up on dating her?
Malaya never pretended to be interested in a romance partnership with Marcy. Marcy is pretending to be interested in a friendship partnership with Malaya when she appears to be mostly interested in a sexual partnership.
That sounds uncomfortably like the rants the “Friendzoned” men give…
If I’m remembering correctly, the reason Sal is a 10 and not a 9 (eughhhh i hate typing that) is because she smokes, not because she acts “too cool”. Another way in which Malaya is wrong to add to the pile.
God, I hate Malaya…
Normally, yes… but she’s starting to grow on me. Mainly because she’s making an effort to be nice, right now. Her typical, “you’re too cool” jibe is often jerkish… but here it seems more playful.
If Marcie likes her, I’m willing to give her a chance… but then again, this confirmation that she has a thing for Joe might change that. A heartbroken Marcie is not something I want to see.
Well, firstly, I’m not sure she does have a thing for Joe and isn’t just mistakenly thinking hitting on him will piss off Sal, which is her primary purpose in life, apparently.
Secondly, I’m not convinced by “If Marcie likes her”; as far as I can tell, basically everyone in this strip is a terrible judge of character, except for some (but not all) of the ones who are just terrible.
She’s just slightly less of a condescending jerk. Maybe it is an effort for her, but that’s not a plus.
Marcie likes her ass. I’m not sure it’s been established that Marcie likes her.
I don’t think that Malaya would do Faz. But maybe Faz will record Joe and Malaya and set himself up as a porno producer…
… and DMW gets his next Slipshine…
No, I think it is more likely that Faz has already concluded that Joyce and Joe are in a relationship. That makes Malaya free and available for seduction. The resulting interaction will be painful… or comedic… or more likely both.
Wait.
So, Marcie likes Malaya, Malaya hates Sal, Carla somethings Malaya, Malaya likes Joe, Sal nothings Joe, and everybody loves Fuckface. Also, Amazi-Girl talks to Sal but Amber doesn’t, Danny tutors Sal and used to date Amazi-Girl, Walky is Sal’s sister and got into a fight with Carla about cartoons, and I think he and Dotty are off their break? Then you have Dotty’s past relationship with Danny, Billie’s friendship with Walky, Billie and Sal’s bickering, Billie’s roommate was Malaya’s ex-roommate…
Is it too late to take Faz up on that flowchart offer, or would that just make it more confusing.
Oh, you’ve only scratched the surface.
And, it’s going to start looking like one of those crazy conspiracy charts, where the rise of the Pillsbury Dough Boy is connected to Jimmy Hoffa secretly ghostwriting scripts for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon episodes that never aired, because they relieved the truth about the Goodyear Blimp and how it relates to Marlin Monroe.
I think this got a bit fishy by the time you got to Marlin Monroe
When Dumbing of Age is made into a movie, they’ll decide the name is too cerebral and it will be retitled Everybody Loves Fuckface.
At a minimum, Everybody Loves Fuckface ought to be at least a future storyline title.
Mmwhat’s this now?
This should be good. *grabs popcorn*
So Malaya is willing to seduce Joe just to get a 10 in a worthless ranking made by Joe? Marcie isn’t going to like that, and Carla is just going to watch the fireworks.
No. Malaya is going to seduce Faz.
Even worse!
I’m kinda sorry for Marcie.
Love is blind and Marcie’s rolled down into the deepest pits of the trash pile.
Yeah, me too.
Ewww.
Marcie is gonna explode in a minute
Fucking wha- Ok I wasn’t expecting that….Wait a minute does this mean Malaya got a 10 and she’s feeling hot shit about it ?
It’s like three out of the four people in that group are desperate or some type of attention.
I bet Faz is going to say one word to her and she’ll walk the other way around being the natural woman repellent he is.
This is a terrible idea, Malaya.
Man, every time I try to sympathize with Malaya, she goes and does something stupid.