Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 1, 2026

Sell

by David M Willis on June 1, 2023 at 12:01 am
  • 04 – But Don't Give Yourself Away
└ Tags: carol, joe, joyce

Discussion (381) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    June 1, 2023 at 12:01 am | #

    IMAGINE, not knowing things after NOT BEING TOLD

    Joyce getting better at one-handed typing? :u

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      June 1, 2023 at 12:02 am | #

      alt: Joyce chat icon should now be Joyce-aghast face lolololol

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      June 1, 2023 at 12:02 am | #

      she doesn’t wear the brace any more, so it’s bound to get better

    • Laura
      Laura
      June 1, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

      Maybe that’s what Jocelyne was calling Joyce about. If the timeline checks out.

      • RassilonTDavros
        RassilonTDavros
        June 1, 2023 at 12:49 am | #

        Preeeetty sure that timeline checks out perfectly.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          June 1, 2023 at 2:09 am | #

          Yup. That was just about a week ago, DoA time.

    • Lumino
      Lumino
      June 1, 2023 at 12:14 am | #

      “Hey mom, meet my Jewish boyfriend!”

      *Carol explodes*

      • GholaHalleck
        GholaHalleck
        June 1, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

        Just like Jesus!

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          June 1, 2023 at 12:24 am | #

          And he does rise every 3 days.

          • Florens
            Florens
            June 1, 2023 at 12:32 am | #

            Pretty sure Joe’s refractory period is shorter than that.

            • Casi
              Casi
              June 1, 2023 at 6:12 am | #

              well he’s never had joyce, so who knows. He may actually die from their first encounter and then rise again in 3 days

              • Psychie
                Psychie
                June 1, 2023 at 10:46 pm | #

                I’d hope he’d have at least a *little* death

          • Proxiehunter
            Proxiehunter
            June 1, 2023 at 12:42 am | #

            Joe rises several times a day.

            • NGPZ
              NGPZ
              June 1, 2023 at 3:21 am | #

              And he just wants to spead his love!

              He like Jesus only better! XD

      • Matthew Davis
        Matthew Davis
        June 1, 2023 at 2:56 am | #

        That’s what I keep thinking. Poor Joe. That said, if he steps up for Joyce that’ll hopefully stop some of the self-loathing he has.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 1, 2023 at 1:31 pm | #

        “Don’t worry, I’m only ETHNICALLY Jewish. Not religiously Jewish.”

        “Oh, okay.”

        “I’m an atheist.”

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          June 1, 2023 at 4:20 pm | #

          We’d finally see the Carol Shocked Face!

          (Hey, Joyce had to get it from somewhere!)

      • JasonAW3
        JasonAW3
        June 1, 2023 at 4:50 pm | #

        As long as it happens before the house sale is finalized, Joyce inherits the house!

  2. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    June 1, 2023 at 12:02 am | #

    Joe came to Joyce in a dream once. Had to wash the sheets.

    • shrub
      shrub
      June 1, 2023 at 12:15 am | #

      Whose dream?

      • AeromechanicalAce
        AeromechanicalAce
        June 1, 2023 at 12:19 am | #

        Yes

      • RassilonTDavros
        RassilonTDavros
        June 1, 2023 at 12:43 am | #

        Strangely enough, it was actually Blowjob Cat’s.

    • GholaHalleck
      GholaHalleck
      June 1, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

      Joe HAS shown up in one of joyce’s shame dreams, as a shadowy figure.

  3. AKP
    AKP
    June 1, 2023 at 12:02 am | #

    Did she just get the entire house in the divorce?

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      June 1, 2023 at 12:03 am | #

      I guess so?

      • Amaya/Polaris
        Amaya/Polaris
        June 1, 2023 at 5:15 pm | #

        (It’s way too easy to hit them flag button while scrolling with this system. I know nothing bad will happen probably but I still feel obliged to say it was a mistake, bleh ^ ^’)

    • Switchchris
      Switchchris
      June 1, 2023 at 12:08 am | #

      It looks like she also got the Car since she was able to bring stuff up to joyce. The Courts probably sided with her since the Husband was the one who sought the divorce and it wasn’t because of Marital Infidelity or Abuse, and they live probably live in the Bible Belt.

      • Carms
        Carms
        June 1, 2023 at 12:23 am | #

        Also if she’s been a housewife for a long time, and he’s a dentist, he has more earning potential than she does. Which he in part owes to her managing the unpaid parts of their livelihood.
        Just cos she’s AWFUL doesn’t mean it’s just that she should suffer disproportionately from a divorce.
        on a cosmic level maybe, but not on a judicial one.

        • Angel
          Angel
          June 1, 2023 at 12:45 am | #

          i’d imagine she could’ve met with a realtor or gotten a direct check from someone but idk if hank would think it’s worth it to go to court over it, or have enough saved to give joyce an apartment to stay at after graduation if she doesn’t move in with him

      • Bryy
        Bryy
        June 1, 2023 at 12:25 am | #

        Yes, but KIDNAPPING and MURDER.

        • Tan
          Tan
          June 1, 2023 at 12:46 am | #

          She did not participate in any of those acts, just tacitly approved of them. Legally, she bears no responsibility.

          • Bryy
            Bryy
            June 1, 2023 at 2:28 am | #

            Yeah, but I also have got to wonder what the fuck Carol would have said at court.

            • Tan
              Tan
              June 1, 2023 at 3:30 am | #

              She participated in her church’s perfectly legal fundraiser to raise bail for a member of her community who she has known for the better part of two decades, who is innocent until proven guilty.

              • Ed Callahan
                Ed Callahan
                June 1, 2023 at 7:13 am | #

                Darn that Bill of Rights.

      • DailyBrad
        DailyBrad
        June 1, 2023 at 12:37 am | #

        It’s possible, though she also could be borrowing the car from someone in the congregation.

      • danimagoo
        danimagoo
        June 1, 2023 at 9:49 am | #

        All states, including Indiana, now have no-fault divorce as an option. Indiana is not, however, a community property state, so when it comes time to divide property in a divorce, the courts will do so “fairly”. Assuming Joyce’s mother was a stay-at-home mom, because super religious, the courts would probably award her the home because her ability to earn a living after 20+ years of not being employed outside the home is limited. It doesn’t really have anything to do with the courts taking her side because it’s in the Bible Belt. It’s more about not wanting to leave a spouse homeless and poor just because their contribution to the marriage was through taking care of the household.

        • Joy
          Joy
          June 1, 2023 at 9:54 am | #

          Yeah I don’t think that the ruling is unfair per se just that Carol is a very fucked up person.

          • Joy
            Joy
            June 1, 2023 at 9:54 am | #

            Well, character. This scene feels a lot more… Real? Than most scenes in this story?

            • Comic.phile
              Comic.phile
              June 1, 2023 at 12:42 pm | #

              It’s based off something that really happened to the author, unfortunately, with his own mom.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          June 1, 2023 at 2:38 pm | #

          We also know nothing about how the division was reached. What other assets they had or how they might have been divided. Whether any alimony will be paid, etc.
          It was a quick divorce apparently, which suggests that Hank might not have fought very hard.

      • tunasammich
        tunasammich
        June 1, 2023 at 1:12 pm | #

        From my experience as an old person, people often work this stuff out between themselves and courts don’t always get involved to divvy everything up. I’d venture a guess that Hank may have just not fought for these things knowing he could rebuild more easily

    • Vanessa
      Vanessa
      June 1, 2023 at 12:39 am | #

      Or she thinks she does! Because Jesus told her so.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 1, 2023 at 12:52 am | #

      I’m just going to assume that giving her the house and the car was in exchange for her not claiming an interest in his dental practice or something.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 1, 2023 at 2:17 am | #

      Hank may have just signed whatever they handed him just to expedite the process. And since he’s the one who’s employed for monetary gain, he has the resources to get his own living arrangements and another car.

      The value of the house and car probably also came into play when the court decided on alimony.

      • Bryy
        Bryy
        June 1, 2023 at 2:31 am | #

        I didn’t even think of that, either. His look of pure horror when hugging Joyce as it all hit him spoke volumes.

    • Decidedly Orthogonal
      Decidedly Orthogonal
      June 1, 2023 at 9:26 am | #

      The financial/asset side of a divorce is actually really simple (except where places enjoy the needless drama of arguing over numbers). First subtract everyone’s assets from before the marriage, that shit remains the property of whoever it came with. Then add up everything accrued during the marriage. Divide by two. That’s how much each party gets. The calculations for alimony and child-support (if applicable) are also pretty solidly laid out. So it’s not “Carol got the whole house” so much as “the house represents part of Carol’s share of the division of assets.” She could very well owe Hank money to buy out his share of the asset. If the parties can’t agree on how to divide up the material assets to ensure the division of wealth proceeds, the court orders the assets under dispute sold, and the profit (if any) divided. Hank likely didn’t see the point of haggling over a house he didn’t want to live in anymore, and/or wanted to be decent and try and make sure, despite needing to seperate, that Carol would be ok. At least he can sleep well knowing *he* didn’t make her homeless.

      Anyways, yeah. Don’t fight over assets in family court. It’s a solved problem, and it’s dumb. Fight tooth and nail for your kids though, if you’re stuck dealing with a toxic as all get out other parent. Or you’ll never have a decent sleep again, knowing your kids are being abused and you’re helpless to do anything about it.

      • Decidedly Orthogonal
        Decidedly Orthogonal
        June 1, 2023 at 9:27 am | #

        Damn. Sorry for the wall o’ text folks.

        • AKP
          AKP
          June 1, 2023 at 2:35 pm | #

          No, thank you for the wall of text. I appreciated the wall of text.

    • Kyle Voltti
      Kyle Voltti
      June 1, 2023 at 9:37 am | #

      It’s also possible that Joyce’s dad didn’t contest the house.

  4. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    June 1, 2023 at 12:02 am | #

    oh you gotta be f*cking kidding me

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      June 1, 2023 at 12:25 am | #

      That “I think” IS DOING A LOT OF HEAVY LIFTING.

  5. butts
    butts
    June 1, 2023 at 12:02 am | #

    knowing that this is more or less a true story doesn’t make it feel any less whackadoo

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      June 1, 2023 at 12:36 am | #

      yeeeep

    • Azhrei Vep
      Azhrei Vep
      June 1, 2023 at 7:37 am | #

      Quite the contrary, in fact. Jeebus Crimmus.

    • nicoleandmaggie
      nicoleandmaggie
      June 1, 2023 at 10:00 am | #

      Word.

    • MoreWLessG
      MoreWLessG
      June 1, 2023 at 9:44 pm | #

      I honestly am getting nervous that this is the incoming dark twist. Is Joyce’s mom gonna be the next villain? Eeeek! (Dang it sorry I hit flag. Didn’t mean to.)

  6. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    June 1, 2023 at 12:02 am | #

    Wherever you are JoJo, you better hurry!!!! 😨

    *plays “Tension” from JoJo StarDust Crusaders OST on Joe’s phone*

  7. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    June 1, 2023 at 12:03 am | #

    …yeah.
    She’s looking for any excuse to not be in her current situation.

    • Laura
      Laura
      June 1, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

      True. Kind of like how Becky was OK with letting the bank take her father’s house. Too many memories and associations.

    • Arawn
      Arawn
      June 1, 2023 at 12:16 am | #

      It’s funny how God always seems to say what some religious people want him to say.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        June 1, 2023 at 2:24 am | #

        Their magic book does, too.

        Isn’t that convenient!

        • Laura
          Laura
          June 1, 2023 at 3:38 am | #

          It’s like a Rorschach inkblot. Or a scrying bowl. Or a deck of Tarot cards.

      • Daniel M Ball
        Daniel M Ball
        June 1, 2023 at 1:43 pm | #

        I’d say such people aren’t really Religious so much as ‘Virtue signaling assholes’. (*yes, I know, the term’s been abused.) They ‘signal’ their ‘virtue’ by rationalizing the Word to whatever they want it to mean, in order to justify whatever it is they want to do, while appearing virtuous to gullible people around them. (and to themselves, since that level of delusion REQUIRES a certain level of Narcissism.)

        In the process, giving people who actually KNOW what they believe and have actual faith a bad name.

        • Laura
          Laura
          June 1, 2023 at 3:23 pm | #

          I dunno about that. One could say the same of Universalists. Or liberal and open-minded folks of any faith. It’s about finding the faith practice that one can live with, that works practically for one’s own life, and figuring out a way to nestle it within cultural and literary tradition. I don’t see anything particularly wrong with that. It doesn’t change what’s bigotry and what’s inclusion — just because it happens to be faith based.

  8. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    June 1, 2023 at 12:03 am | #

    —So when you’re near me, darling can’t you hear me? S.O.S.!
    The love you gave me, nothing else can save me! S.O.S.!

  9. TulipKitten
    TulipKitten
    June 1, 2023 at 12:03 am | #

    … Is Carol going nuts?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 1, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

      Going?

    • Laura
      Laura
      June 1, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

      Hmm. Maybe. Lots of people make drastic changes to their lives based on words heard in dreams, though. It happens.

      • Warcodered
        Warcodered
        June 1, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

        If she thinks God specifically spoke to her to tell her to sell her house that is not good.

        Though I do wonder how he phrased it. “Carol sell the house, it’s a great time now it’s a sellers market.”

        • Vanessa
          Vanessa
          June 1, 2023 at 12:40 am | #

          She’s always been an extreme cultist though. Maybe she is doubling down without Hank to exert a moderating influence.

          • Clif
            Clif
            June 1, 2023 at 1:04 am | #

            Hey, the church has legal bills on account of being sued by a crazy lady.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              June 1, 2023 at 2:26 am | #

              Who also just so happens to be in Bloomington today!

              This could get interesting…

        • MoreWLessG
          MoreWLessG
          June 1, 2023 at 9:46 pm | #

          “CaaaAAArroooooll! The housing market in your area is SO goOOOOooood right now! I, Jesus, do want you to know you’ll probably get $50k over asking price! …OOoooOOooOOooo!”

      • Laura
        Laura
        June 1, 2023 at 12:55 am | #

        Group I grew up with, that would have been considered a perfectly normal and valid thing to do. I’ve done similarly bizarre and untenable things, when I was younger, with no more “leading” than Carol shows, here.

        …A friend recently wrote in his autobiography that he and I grew up together in a “fringe Christian sect”. I never would have described it that way, but it does make a certain kind of sense, looking back.

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      June 1, 2023 at 12:15 am | #

      I’m not sure if grief and denial are driving her crazy or just indoctrinated to believe crazy things (such that God, should he exists cares deeply about her house and that dreams are you know more than dreams). Plenty of cultures have believed deeply insane things on mass (slavery is ok, this or that race is inferior or out to get you, you can read the future in animal guts, etc) it doesn’t make the individuals within mentally unstable.

    • hastur
      hastur
      June 1, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

      Going?

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      June 1, 2023 at 12:27 am | #

      Carol belongs to a cult.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      June 1, 2023 at 12:28 am | #

      Nah. Carol is just a slinky little weasel that uses God to excuse everything.

      • Vanessa
        Vanessa
        June 1, 2023 at 12:41 am | #

        And her entire church is enabling that. It isn’t just her.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      June 1, 2023 at 1:11 am | #

      Implying she wasn’t before.

      • Wizard
        Wizard
        June 1, 2023 at 10:30 pm | #

        Nuttiness is something of a sliding scale, not either/or. It can range from “believes a few things most people don’t” to “a danger to self or others”, with many steps in between. Carol does show signs of sliding towards the more negative end of the scale.

    • Skeptible
      Skeptible
      June 1, 2023 at 11:17 am | #

      I thought that in American culture talking to god barely warrants an eye blink. Being talked to by god (in a dream or otherwise) is less common, but is generally accepted and not considered a sign of mental illness. (unless it is frequent and intrusive I suppose).

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        June 1, 2023 at 2:43 pm | #

        How many politicians have claimed God told them to run for office?

    • Dr Sharks
      Dr Sharks
      June 1, 2023 at 6:48 pm | #

      I feel like “nuts” is an oversimplification. The church is a big part of her life. She just got divorced and is wrestling with less-than-savory things that she’s done. The idea that her life has some grander meaning, that this is all happening for a reason, is an attractive fantasy. It makes sense that something that is an attractive fantasy in your waking hours might show up in your dreams. It’s not farfetched that she’d dream about God telling her to do something, especially something that gets her away from a place that holds all these negative connotations for her.

      But the thing is, if you start from the presupposition that God is real, has a plan for everyone, and is capable of doing something like altering your dreams, it isn’t a stretch to assume that any dream featuring a command from God is legitimate. After all, if the god-command dream was random and not in God’s plan, he would have changed what dream you had. Hell, I’m an atheist, but if I woke up from a vivid dream where God told me to do something, it would at least give me pause when I woke up.

      This line of thinking isn’t even my own. My grandmother lives alone on a ranch. She’s very religious, and had an abusive ex-husband. She sometimes has dreams about someone sneaking onto her property at night with plans to attack her or steal from her, but they are driven away by her guardian angel. She believes these events to be real. In almost every other way, she is an extremely sensible and levelheaded woman. She’s just convinced that dreams about God enacting his will in some way MUST mean something, because God could have had her dream about something else if it didn’t.

    • Mturtle7
      Mturtle7
      June 1, 2023 at 11:47 pm | #

      To clarify: making huge life decisions based on a dream you had once isn’t necessarily a sign of any literal mental illness, anymore than buying a bunch of lottery tickets, going on a hiking trip in search of Bigfoot, or believing a politician’s campaign promises when they’re running for a second term. It IS, however, an EXTREMELY VALID cause for concern, especially when it happens very suddenly. So, uh…yeah.

  10. Maveric1984
    Maveric1984
    June 1, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

    But why wouldn’t Hank get a part of the profits from the house? Surely his lawyer wouldn’t be that incompetent.

    • Laura
      Laura
      June 1, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

      Yeah. I smell legal shenanigans.

      • Laura
        Laura
        June 1, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

        …Unless Hank got something big out of it, like, “No alimony or child support but you get the house,” or, “You get the house and the second mortgage on it that we took out to pay for the kids’ education.”

        Or maybe Hank just has an overdeveloped sense of chivalry… “I’ll give my poor, defenseless, abandoned wife the house so she’s not left destitute to beg in the streets…”

        • Nono
          Nono
          June 1, 2023 at 12:08 am | #

          Would they even need to pay child support at this point? All their children are legal adults.

          • Alongcameaspider
            Alongcameaspider
            June 1, 2023 at 12:10 am | #

            Maybe it was in exchange for not pulling Joyce from IU

            Which is why she’s here to try to convince her to voluntarily withdraw

            • Proxiehunter
              Proxiehunter
              June 1, 2023 at 12:46 am | #

              Carol has no authority to pull Joyce from anywhere as long as Hank or Joyce can keep paying the tuition.

            • Slartibeast Button, BIA
              Slartibeast Button, BIA
              June 1, 2023 at 3:28 am | #

              My parents did a deal where my father didn’t have to start payments to my mom for her half of the house until I graduated from college.

            • Insanenoodlyguy
              Insanenoodlyguy
              June 1, 2023 at 1:36 pm | #

              You don’t bring people stuff and take away the home they could come back to if your trying to get them to leave.

              Carol is not in a great place right now, what with making these extreme decisions that can’t be undone, but I imagine there’s a sort of numbness to the overall “WHAT THE FUCK” this should all be. “God” came to her and told her to sell the house, probably very much related to saving the church from going completely under, and so now she has all this stuff. So of course she’s going to give her daughter her stuff, she is after all an excellent mother.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            June 1, 2023 at 1:07 am | #

            Through some quirk of legality, my girlfriend gets back-pay on her child support from her deadbeat sperm donor, and she’s only a couple years younger than me. It’s not a lot of money but it’s there.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            June 1, 2023 at 8:13 am | #

            Not strictly child support, but Joyce’d be kind of screwed if she lost all financial support from her parents at this point.

            But yeah, none of that should go to Carol. It would make more sense for Hank to agree to continue covering whatever they’ve been covering for college costs and to make sure she has a place to live on breaks than to give money to Carol to do so.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            June 1, 2023 at 4:22 pm | #

            Joyce might still be considered a dependent, since she’s enrolled as a full-time college student.

        • MM
          MM
          June 1, 2023 at 12:10 am | #

          Or “fine, whatever, I don’t want the place; let’s just get this over with.”

          • Sirksome
            Sirksome
            June 1, 2023 at 12:30 am | #

            I mean divorces are inherently muddy and I don’t think Carol works. Giving her the house might have been Hank’s way of assuring she’d be okay. Selling it or subletting it would insure some income for her while Hank assumedly still has a job to support himself. Divorce or not it’s kind of messed up to leave the mother of your kids destitute.

            • Laura
              Laura
              June 1, 2023 at 12:40 am | #

              That’s a good way to think about it. Thanks, Sirksome. I appreciate that dose of perspective.

    • Nono
      Nono
      June 1, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

      Depends how stressed out he is.

      Depends if John is on Carol’s side and lobbying for her.

    • Dave
      Dave
      June 1, 2023 at 12:19 am | #

      This part of the story is completely autobiographical so this is effectively speculating on the terms of Willis’ parents’ divorce

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        June 1, 2023 at 12:46 am | #

        Instead of paying for an auditorium or whatever, Carol’s church probably has a lawsuit to pay. To Linda. ahahahaha. so awkward. Imagine if Joyce had been Walky’s new girlfriend, finding this out.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          June 1, 2023 at 5:41 am | #

          They have lawyer’s fees for defending themselves against Linda’s lawsuit, plus whatever bond they paid to bail out Toedead is now gone.

          That’s got to be where the money’s going though.

          • Mark
            Mark
            June 1, 2023 at 6:47 am | #

            They probably have fees for a lawyer to spend an hour or so in discovery with Linda’s lawyer laying the church’s books open and showing that the church did no such thing. No point in going to trial where there’s no evidence.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              June 1, 2023 at 7:24 am | #

              If they were smart, they gave the money to Blaine off the books. (And any money they did provide from the coffers was accounted for elsewhere, with accounting that can stand up to scrutiny.)

              That money’s still gone, and I doubt all involved participants would be okay having nothing to show for their “investment”.

      • jpnr
        jpnr
        June 1, 2023 at 1:02 am | #

        https://twitter.com/damnyouwillis/status/651206355454291968?s=20

        maybe the whole dream thing is bullshit

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          June 1, 2023 at 6:46 am | #

          You found it! Good to have a primary source for all of our theorizing!

          Curse the transient nature of social media…

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      June 1, 2023 at 12:44 am | #

      If the divorce is finished and she was awarded the house in full there’s no reason he would get a portion of the sale.

    • Jaime
      Jaime
      June 1, 2023 at 2:13 am | #

      When my mom and dad got divorced, my mom got the house but very little else. My two sisters and I were all under 18 and we REALLY didn’t want to move. In order to keep the house, mom had to give up any possibility of alimony (at the time mom had just gotten her doctorate and was making substantially less than my dad), accept the bare minimum of child support, and give my dad most of the stock portfolio they’d accrued during the marriage. This was in a Northeastern state and the judge didn’t want to kick a mother and her three children (my youngest sister was about 7 IIRC) out of their house. The happy ending is that my dad went on to do fine and marry another wonderful woman and now lives in one of her houses (she owns more than one) and my mom and her new husband still live in my childhood home! I’ll be visiting there for the second half of the summer because I miss her and my “stepfather” (she married him when I was an adult and I feel a little weird saying I have a stepfather when I’m in my 30s) AND the house has an inground pool!

      My mom, my sisters, and I sometimes have “prophetic” dreams BUT there is NO WAY any of us would do something like sell property (not that my sisters and I own any – we all rent) just based on a dream!

  11. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 1, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

    He also came on me in a dream. But that was a very different kinda dream.

    • Miri
      Miri
      June 1, 2023 at 4:34 am | #

      One hopes. If Jesus came on Carol in her dream while two thieves on crosses watched from the sides, then told her to sell her house, she is very thankfully editing it for her audience…

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        June 1, 2023 at 4:36 am | #

        Everything I know about the two thieves I learned from Uncharted IV.

        • Miri
          Miri
          June 1, 2023 at 8:47 am | #

          I think mine’s from the previous comic, unless Life of Brian can be considered a reliable source 🤔😉

  12. Nono
    Nono
    June 1, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

    Was it Rich Mullins?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 1, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

      It was actually the lesser known Poor Mullins.

  13. William
    William
    June 1, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

    Joyce’s mom has gone completely off the deep end.

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      June 1, 2023 at 12:28 am | #

      I don’t see how what she said here is in any way different from how she normally acts.

      • SeanR
        SeanR
        June 1, 2023 at 1:31 am | #

        Her comments about the crucifixion art is milder than what we’ve seen from her in the past.
        Less passive-aggressive, more own little world.
        That IS a change, if likely a short-lived one.

  14. Serendipity
    Serendipity
    June 1, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    [external screaming]

  15. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    June 1, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    Just getting this link in now, Jocelyn calling last Friday: https://www.dumbingofage.com/scanner/

    • Wraithy2773
      Wraithy2773
      June 1, 2023 at 12:10 am | #

      Joshua, not Jocelyn… but yeah, I wager Joshua’s call would be about this. The sort of “holy shit what the fuck all hands on deck” sorta thing.

      • Doopyboop
        Doopyboop
        June 1, 2023 at 12:13 am | #

        Joshua is Jocelyne’s assigned name at birth, it’s Jocelyne now.

        • Wraithy2773
          Wraithy2773
          June 1, 2023 at 12:15 am | #

          Gaaah, thought that was Joyce’s pastor-type brother. Derp.

        • Wraithy2773
          Wraithy2773
          June 1, 2023 at 12:16 am | #

          I blame the parents for naming them all J-something, really annoying habit >_<.

          • Doopyboop
            Doopyboop
            June 1, 2023 at 12:27 am | #

            Especially since Jordan is still a ghost, ooooh~ Can’t wait for him to eventually show up! And not just J names like James and Jacob, but JO names at that! John, Joyce, Jordan, Jinglehimer shmidt

          • Slartibeast Button, BIA
            Slartibeast Button, BIA
            June 1, 2023 at 12:55 am | #

            Which I’ll note is a real thing, I had a friend in school who initials were the same as both of his parents and all of his siblings.

            • Doopyboop
              Doopyboop
              June 1, 2023 at 1:13 am | #

              I had a friend in school, he and his brother both just straight up had the same first name, which was the same as their father’s. The younger had the same middle name as the dad, so they considered him the junior. Imagine how confusing it’d be in THAT house.

              • Needfuldoer
                Needfuldoer
                June 1, 2023 at 6:59 am | #

                “I’m Larry, this is my brother Daryl, an’ that’s my other brother Daryl.”

                https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5yyB06HvAjI&t=170s

              • Azhrei Vep
                Azhrei Vep
                June 1, 2023 at 7:46 am | #

                Oh yeah, naming schemes in families is definitely a Thing. My great-grandfather, my grandfather, his two siblings, all five of his children, and me, all share the same set of [i]initials[/i].

                • Dr. Sharks
                  Dr. Sharks
                  June 1, 2023 at 1:14 pm | #

                  That makes more sense than my family. I, my mom, my dad, my biological father, and my two half-brothers all have different last names. And so does my wife, partly because I didn’t want to inflict this madness on her.

            • Ray Radlein
              Ray Radlein
              June 1, 2023 at 6:29 am | #

              Hey, my dad and brother were both Robert Radlein, my mom was Ruth, and my sister is Robin. And mom and Robin basically had the same middle name, and all three males had the same middle initial

            • Ed Callahan
              Ed Callahan
              June 1, 2023 at 7:37 am | #

              My spouse has a set of nieces whose initials are KJ. They’ve been known as The KJs since childhood, sort of like the AMA or the ACLU.

    • Angel
      Angel
      June 1, 2023 at 12:42 am | #

      even if they aren’t a ‘texting’ kinda family/siblings, (unless joyce is using some kinda app/messenger thing to avoid it being billed/tracking who she contacts), you’d think it’d be something important enough for jocelyne to send a follow up text as a heads up

      • Vanessa
        Vanessa
        June 1, 2023 at 12:45 am | #

        Yup. Why aren’t all the siblings texting her like mad?

        • HueSatLight
          HueSatLight
          June 1, 2023 at 12:53 am | #

          Possibly winter break drama (she didn’t go home). I don’t think she’s talked to Jordan in a year or two. And maybe Jocelyn was going to wait a week before trying again.

        • Doopyboop
          Doopyboop
          June 1, 2023 at 1:14 am | #

          As far as Jordan goes, he’s been lowkey confirmed as basically being persona non grata for the family for unclear reasons. Whatever happened, Joyce is definitely NOT in contact with him and probably has no clue how to get in contact with him anyway.

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          June 1, 2023 at 2:18 am | #

          John’s older and also an asshole, Jordan doesn’t seem to be in contact with their siblings and Jocelyne did try and call Joyce about a week ago

      • Sombrero
        Sombrero
        June 1, 2023 at 4:53 am | #

        Many of us don’t like to communicate bad news by text or voice messages.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          June 1, 2023 at 8:25 am | #

          Don’t like to, but you can at least drop a “Call me, it’s important”.
          Or if it’s important enough and they’re still not responding, tell them anyway. It’s not great, but it’s better than not knowing.

          • Sombrero
            Sombrero
            June 1, 2023 at 11:57 am | #

            Agree, but we don’t know if someone sent that and Joyce decided to ignore it. We just saw her choosing not to answer the call and one possible interpretation is that Joyce is purposefully trying to separate herself from family drama.

      • Azhrei Vep
        Azhrei Vep
        June 1, 2023 at 7:48 am | #

        I don’t see why they would? I understand why this would be a problem for Joyce, because of her issues with change. But there’s no reason anyone else would even care, assuming they know in the first place.

        It’s not like they live there any more. It’s not their house. It’s not their business.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          June 1, 2023 at 10:07 am | #

          Yeah, why would they care that they can never go back to their childhood home? Apathy all around.

          • Azhrei Vep
            Azhrei Vep
            June 1, 2023 at 6:34 pm | #

            Yeah, exactly. It’s just their childhood home, not something that actually matters. Nothing to get worked up over.

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              June 1, 2023 at 8:09 pm | #

              I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not. I was.

              • Azhrei Vep
                Azhrei Vep
                June 1, 2023 at 9:26 pm | #

                No, I’m not, and I didn’t realize you were. I’m curious, why do you think it would be a problem for the kids other than Joyce, who’s well established as having problems with things changing on her in general.

                None of them live there, it’s not like it’s taking anything away from them. It’s entirely their parents’ place to do with as they please.

                Heck, she maybe going about it in the shittiest way possible (because that’s what she does), but she’s even making sure stuff that got left behind is getting given back to (AKA forcing it on) its owners, so there isn’t even that reason to be upset.

    • PigmyWurm
      PigmyWurm
      June 1, 2023 at 6:59 am | #

      I do wonder why her dad didn’t try contacting her? I know Joyce has been avoiding a lot of contact with her family recently but this seems like something you might repeatedly call/text/ and email over.
      Also didn’t she go home for winter break?

      • Psi baka onna
        Psi baka onna
        June 1, 2023 at 7:18 am | #

        She stayed with Becky (and I guess Robin?) over winterbreak so probably had no idead just how strained her parent’s relationship had gotten…

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          June 1, 2023 at 8:26 am | #

          She knew they were separated. Knew the divorce was happening. Just not that it had finalized.

  16. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    June 1, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    In more positive news, it’s Pride Month and I’m brain pregnant with a totally gay game baby!!! 🤩🌈🎮🌠🥹

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      June 1, 2023 at 12:16 am | #

      Brain pregnant, like Zeus? You see, this is why the sex-ed teacher told you never to devour Titans without protection.

      • Dana
        Dana
        June 1, 2023 at 12:31 am | #

        All my sex ed teacher did for me was skip the clitoris when going over the parts labeled on the diagram and act uncomfortable when I raised my hand and asked what it was for. “Sensation” apparently.

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      June 1, 2023 at 12:29 am | #

      Radical *and* Tubular!

  17. Warcodered
    Warcodered
    June 1, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    Well that’s usually not a good sign.

  18. Kitschensyngk
    Kitschensyngk
    June 1, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    HLKEP!
    I need somebody
    HELP!
    Not just anybody
    HHL[P!
    You know, I need someone
    HLPPP!

    • Nep
      Nep
      June 1, 2023 at 12:14 am | #

      😂😂😂

    • StClair
      StClair
      June 1, 2023 at 12:20 am | #

      I lvue that sing.

  19. Animedingo
    Animedingo
    June 1, 2023 at 12:08 am | #

    Red flags

    • jeffepp
      jeffepp
      June 1, 2023 at 12:50 am | #

      Red Flags
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFokXnCCMf8

      • AGV
        AGV
        June 1, 2023 at 2:19 am | #

        “She said: ‘god told me in a dream’ “

  20. Raja
    Raja
    June 1, 2023 at 12:08 am | #

    I’ve known people like this (usually by extension, people parents know) and its just as yikes as this is displaying

  21. Erica
    Erica
    June 1, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    Gosh, if only there could have been a better way for Carol to have this conversation

    • Wraithy2773
      Wraithy2773
      June 1, 2023 at 12:11 am | #

      There’s a good way to have a conversation about how god told you in a dream to sell your house?

      • Dana
        Dana
        June 1, 2023 at 12:39 am | #

        I’m thinking before selling the house instead of after.

      • Angel
        Angel
        June 1, 2023 at 12:43 am | #

        i wonder if it rly was a dream versus the church asking her, , probably upsetting to joyce either way though it woudl be an odd part of the story to lie about versus “the church requested it of me, who am i to deny them”

        • StClair
          StClair
          June 1, 2023 at 12:52 am | #

          I think it absolutely was a dream. We’ve seen that Joyce has a lot of … very interesting ones.

    • Insanenoodlyguy
      Insanenoodlyguy
      June 1, 2023 at 1:40 pm | #

      To be fair, she very well may have been trying to reach Joyce only to have been blocked.

  22. Jamie
    Jamie
    June 1, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

    I refuse to believe this is how her phone’s keyboard works.

    • UrsulaDavina
      UrsulaDavina
      June 1, 2023 at 12:15 am | #

      It happens to me alot where my phones autocorrect adopts to my dyslexia and the predictive text is just spelled wrong.

  23. Suet
    Suet
    June 1, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

    If there could ever be a time for Joyce to blurt out the F-word, it could be now…

    Wait what happens to SNOOP?!

    • bemisawa
      bemisawa
      June 1, 2023 at 12:43 am | #

      I’m wondering about Snoop, too. Hope they’re okay.

      • anonymsly
        anonymsly
        June 1, 2023 at 1:52 am | #

        I hope Hank got Snoop in the divorce and their new apartment has a dog park very close by.

    • MoreWLessG
      MoreWLessG
      June 1, 2023 at 9:48 pm | #

      Before I remembered the dog, I thought you were talking about the Dogg and that this was just an excellently weird reference.

  24. UrsulaDavina
    UrsulaDavina
    June 1, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

    Are you sure it wasn’t Satan Carol?

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      June 1, 2023 at 12:23 am | #

      In her mind, Satan should be after souls not houses, so why would he care. Then again, if the Devil had a side hustle odds are it would be as a real estate agent. Maybe, he’s drumming up business? Gotta pay for all those souls somehow.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 1, 2023 at 1:35 pm | #

      Of course she’s sure.

      … she’s got absolutely ZERO REASON to be sure, but of course she’s sure.

  25. Carms
    Carms
    June 1, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

    fuuuuuuk meee it took my parents FIVE YEARS.
    I mean, five years and counting, cos the divorce STILL isn’t final, but at least the main assets have been divided, so I no longer live with both of them in my childhood home.

    And like. they should have already been divorced TEN years ago.

    Jealous of Joyce rn. Sad facts.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 1, 2023 at 1:06 am | #

      Divorce can be pretty quick if the two people can come to an agreement about what they want, or if one just ignores it so the other gets whatever they ask for. As I said above, I assume that Hanks and Carol or their lawyers hammered out a deal where she gets the house and car, and he get other things such that they both consider it an acceptable deal.

      • SeanR
        SeanR
        June 1, 2023 at 1:27 am | #

        As I said in the comment section of a previous strip; there’s a good chance that Hank’s personal and professional life are over in their hometown. If anyone needed to leave, just to be able to rebuild their life and career, it’d be the person who their church is mad at. There’s a good chance that he got many of his clientele through their church, and, when they side with her over him, there’s a really good chance that he lost most of his clientele, through their church, and individuals within it discouraging anyone else in the community from going to him for dental care.

        I could easily see her getting the house, because he’s in the process of moving to a little college town, not far from where his daughter is attending to become a school teacher, to try to rebuild his practice, (in his forties or fifties; ouch).

        Hopefully, he got out clean. Leave her the house, but keep his future earnings.

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          June 1, 2023 at 2:29 am | #

          I don’t know, I kind of think either it’s a big enough town that he’s getting clients who aren’t from his church, or it’s so small he has a functional monopoly on dental services

          • Slartibeast Button, BIA
            Slartibeast Button, BIA
            June 1, 2023 at 3:36 am | #

            Town is 21K, county is 111K. The US has 1 dentist per 1700 people, roughly. Would the church as we’ve seen it be that big?

          • Mark
            Mark
            June 1, 2023 at 7:03 am | #

            La Porte, IN: population around 22,000. I reeeally doubt they all go to that one middling-sized church. (I’d guess 6-700 listed members, about 200 active.) Maybe there are people who would be glad to throw business to a good dentist who escaped from it.

            A quick glance at “churches in la porte indiana” on Google Maps shows at least a dozen.

            • Owlmirror
              Owlmirror
              June 1, 2023 at 11:28 pm | #

              I seem to recall Joyce saying that they switched churches a lot when she was younger.

              There might well be churches whose congregants are sufficiently sick of that particular church’s shit that they might well view breaking with them in a positive light.

              I mean, loyalty is highly regarded, but so is appearances; “face”. There are probably at least some churches where they would say something like “Ross McIntyre makes God-fearing Christians look bad!” — and consider those who bailed him out in a similar light.

          • RocketRelm
            RocketRelm
            June 1, 2023 at 3:55 pm | #

            Except that, given we’re talking a seriously zealous religious community, they could just unironically go without dental services if need be. It’d be bad for them, but hardly the worst bad choice they’ve made this decade. At least until somebody else starts up, or they go out of city to somewhere.

        • Amós Batista
          Amós Batista
          June 1, 2023 at 4:55 am | #

          The church clientele thing is so real. As the church friends, too. I wonder if Hank will left his faith behind, after all this.

          • Nobody
            Nobody
            June 1, 2023 at 5:00 pm | #

            This kind of two faced tribal behavior in church communities grosses me put so bad. Even as a kid it was so obvious slimey and gross, I was an atheist before finishing my catholic churches Sunday school education for communion. Then several years of akward church takijg communion around two faced people, watching them be completely deplorable to ‘others’, and then turn around and be disgustingly sweet to you because you’re ‘in the tribe’.

            Could not drop my religion fast enough the second I got out of the house.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          June 1, 2023 at 11:53 am | #

          Hank is 60 – double ouch.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        June 1, 2023 at 7:04 am | #

        We’d also never see the resolution if the process took that long in-universe. It’s been over a real-world decade and only about two months have passed on-screen.

  26. True Survivor
    True Survivor
    June 1, 2023 at 12:19 am | #

    You know I’ve been thinking about Carol’s earlier comment that the dorms seem smaller each time she visits. I think that has to do with Joyce, who I believe has always been standing in the dorm at the time. The dorms aren’t getting smaller her daughter is growing – metaphorically not literally (though she has gained some weight now that she doesn’t have to compete with a thousand siblings for food.

  27. Rikunda
    Rikunda
    June 1, 2023 at 12:19 am | #

    And what did he say to do? Was it to move to Antarctica and teach the bible to penguins?

    • nobodybasically
      nobodybasically
      June 1, 2023 at 12:22 am | #

      Well yeah, someone needs to convince them to stop being gay!

      • True Survivor
        True Survivor
        June 1, 2023 at 12:26 am | #

        This made me laugh. Thank you.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 1, 2023 at 12:25 am | #

      They already have those little black dress clothes. They’ve got their sunday best on every day of the week!

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      June 1, 2023 at 12:32 am | #

      Please, this is Carol we’re talking about. She’s going to move to Antarctica to teach the Bible to polar bears.

      • NGPZ
        NGPZ
        June 1, 2023 at 1:16 am | #

        Noooooo don’t let her colonize the poor polar creatures. 😭

      • butting
        butting
        June 1, 2023 at 1:49 am | #

        Nobody’s ever done it before. It’s a completely open mission field.

      • JBento
        JBento
        June 1, 2023 at 5:42 am | #

        There are no polar bears in the Antartica.
        …
        Wait, was that the joke?

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          June 1, 2023 at 1:08 pm | #

          Well yeah, but Carol doesn’t need to know that.

        • RassilonTDavros
          RassilonTDavros
          June 1, 2023 at 1:09 pm | #

          Yes. Yes it is.

    • OBBWG
      OBBWG
      June 1, 2023 at 12:20 pm | #

      Maybe go to Sri Lanka and teach the bible to Komodo dragons?

  28. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    June 1, 2023 at 12:20 am | #

    Did god tell her that or did her pastor tell her god told her that?

    • Warcodered
      Warcodered
      June 1, 2023 at 12:23 am | #

      God needs your help to buy the Church a G5 Airplane.

    • Sajuuk-Khar
      Sajuuk-Khar
      June 1, 2023 at 2:34 am | #

      I have had for a while now this sneaking suspicion that Carol and Pastor “Beardo” Landrum were carrying on some sort of affair or cahoots or something even pre-divorce, and it’s getting unfortunately stronger legs, which are grotesque

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 1, 2023 at 1:39 pm | #

      There’s a difference?

  29. GholaHalleck
    GholaHalleck
    June 1, 2023 at 12:23 am | #

    I wonder if that’s a group chat, of if she really went to Joe first before Dottie or Becky.

    • Doopyboop
      Doopyboop
      June 1, 2023 at 12:29 am | #

      Carol doesn’t really have a good relationship with either Dottie or Becky, aka THE ATHIEST TEMPTER WHO HAS NO GOD and THE LESBIAN TEMPTER WHO HAS NO GOD so Joe is actually a pretty good neutral choice! He’s Jewish, but Carol doesn’t know that! Yet…

      • Techhead
        Techhead
        June 1, 2023 at 12:50 am | #

        Becky is pointedly THE LESBIAN TEMPTER WHO DOES HAVE A GOD, it’s (from Carol’s POV) heresy not apostasy.

        • Doopyboop
          Doopyboop
          June 1, 2023 at 1:08 am | #

          Silly Techhead! Clearly, if Becky has chosen to become a lesbian, she has spit in God’s face and denounced him! You can’t be gay AND Christian!!

          Obviously that’s now what I think, but that’s likely how Carol views the situation. I’ve met many Southern Christians like her and the idea that someone can be LGBT and Christian at the same time is mind boggling.

          • Doopyboop
            Doopyboop
            June 1, 2023 at 1:09 am | #

            *NOT what I think

          • woobie
            woobie
            June 1, 2023 at 10:27 pm | #

            Yes, one can be gay and Christian.
            People are supposed to not act on it, but Jesus died for the sins everyone has, so there you go.

            Anyone who says God hates gays is a shitty person.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              June 1, 2023 at 11:26 pm | #

              Even “not supposed to act on it” and the idea that it’s sinful is not something held by all churches. There are denominations with married gay preachers.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        June 1, 2023 at 7:05 am | #

        And his name starts with J too, so he’ll fit right in!

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 1, 2023 at 1:40 pm | #

        Yes, Joe might be a good choice. But if we pro-con it out, Sarah has the added pro of a baseball bat.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      June 1, 2023 at 12:30 am | #

      It makes total sense for her to pick Joe over either of them, actually. Dorothy’s an atheist who Carol has hated and accused of corrupting her daughter from the beginning, and she wasn’t exactly very good at helping Joyce with her crisis of faith. And bringing in Becky would be a total disaster, considering Carol’s attempt to collude with Ross to kidnap her is what got the church into this mess in the first place.

    • Warcodered
      Warcodered
      June 1, 2023 at 12:31 am | #

      Joe’s been her secret text friend while she’s been dealing with her family for a while before this more recent relationship change.

    • Angel
      Angel
      June 1, 2023 at 12:32 am | #

      Joe is the largest in her group and will have the easiest time picking Carol up and throwing her out the door.

      • Vanessa
        Vanessa
        June 1, 2023 at 12:47 am | #

        We can hope!

        • Vanessa
          Vanessa
          June 1, 2023 at 12:47 am | #

          Or maybe she can text Amber next for some costumed heroics.

      • butting
        butting
        June 1, 2023 at 1:50 am | #

        Dina’s waiting patiently for just the right time to open it.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        June 1, 2023 at 7:10 am | #

        Why does Joe, the largest friend, not simply eat the future mother-in-law?

      • Mark
        Mark
        June 1, 2023 at 7:11 am | #

        Why waste a door, when there’s a window right there?

      • Azhrei Vep
        Azhrei Vep
        June 1, 2023 at 7:54 am | #

        If only she had Ruth’s number as well…

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          June 1, 2023 at 8:29 am | #

          Was gonna say. Ruth has practical experience in this field.

          • Azhrei Vep
            Azhrei Vep
            June 1, 2023 at 10:23 pm | #

            https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/04-is-a-song-forever/instructed/
            Damn right she does!

    • Alex
      Alex
      June 1, 2023 at 12:52 am | #

      Oh, Dorothy would be a disaster. And seeing Becky might kill Carol, which… uh… is a bad thing for reasons I’m sure will occur to me at some point.

      • Miri
        Miri
        June 1, 2023 at 4:25 am | #

        It would make Becky feel guilty? It might upset Joyce?

    • Rogue 7
      Rogue 7
      June 1, 2023 at 7:43 am | #

      I think there’s several reasons:
      1. Joe’s been upgraded to “boyfriend” status, which probably carries notions that he is now Joyce’s problem solver, because that’s what a Good Boyfriend does.
      2. As mentioned, he’s been Joyce’s vent for all this shit for a while.
      3. His parents are divorced so he has experience.

  30. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    June 1, 2023 at 12:26 am | #

    Ah yes, God came to you in a dream, perfectly believable. Totally not just trying to get out of actually explaining what you’re using the money for, i.e. keeping the church afloat after you caused a mass kidnapping and a death (or three). Fuuuuuuuck I hate this bongo

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      June 1, 2023 at 12:31 am | #

      I mean, both can be the answer, and probably are.

    • Alex
      Alex
      June 1, 2023 at 12:53 am | #

      Oh, that wacky, wacky God. What a prankster.

    • Wraithy2773
      Wraithy2773
      June 1, 2023 at 12:55 am | #

      People keep saying this, but honestly, I don’t see how the church, or anyone really, could be held liable in any legal sense for what happened. It’s not like they took custody of Toedad and promised not to let him do anything bad, it’s bail, the only rule is that you have to show up to court if you want the money back.

      (and this is one of those “it sucks in this specific case but is a good thing in general that the law works this way”. Bail is a fucked up system as it stands, lets not make it any worse please)

      Then again, if there were strings attached to getting the money for bail, like taking out a loan with certain organized crime rackets…

      • SeanR
        SeanR
        June 1, 2023 at 1:15 am | #

        Well, depending on how deep the Walkertons’ pockets are, they may be facing lawfare, not a lawsuit.

      • BadRoad
        BadRoad
        June 1, 2023 at 3:46 am | #

        There’s other conditions for bail. Usually you’re not supposed to leave the state, sometimes the county. The court can forbid you to associate with certain people (usually alleged accomplices or victims) or stipulate that you do or don’t do other specific things.

        But if you don’t meet those conditions, the penalty is that they put you back in jail.

        • Wraithy2773
          Wraithy2773
          June 1, 2023 at 6:10 am | #

          Right. The penalty for breaking the conditions of bail is that the accused is put back in jail and the money is forfeited.

          But its not that the people who contributed to bail can be sued into oblivion for it.

          • Yeet
            Yeet
            June 1, 2023 at 9:12 am | #

            Bailing someone out also means you’re legally responsible for them meeting the conditions of bail, in some jurisdictions.
            Taking on a legal responsibility you provably didn’t attempt to keep is a pretty good way to get sued.

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              June 1, 2023 at 1:05 pm | #

              I’m not a legal expert, so this isn’t legal advice unless it’s funnier that way, but I don’t think Indiana has the rule you’re talking about, based entirely on one half-awake Google search.

    • Dara
      Dara
      June 1, 2023 at 3:31 am | #

      God came to her in a gas leak more likely

  31. Grimey
    Grimey
    June 1, 2023 at 12:27 am | #

    The second I saw the comic I said audibly to myself with the bleakest tone, “And there it is.”

  32. newlland(Henryvolt)
    newlland(Henryvolt)
    June 1, 2023 at 12:29 am | #

    Who wants to bet Carol sold the house for 30 pieces of Silver?

    • SeanR
      SeanR
      June 1, 2023 at 1:11 am | #

      No. One troy ounce of silver is, currently, about thirty dollars. Thirty ounces would only be around nine-hundred dollars, if they were one-ounce rounds.
      You can figure for larger pieces of silver, but you’d still be WAY below market value.

      • drs
        drs
        June 1, 2023 at 2:48 am | #

        And the most likely coins for “pieces of silver” were

        ‘ tetradrachms of Tyre, usually referred to as Tyrian shekels (14 grams of 94% silver), or staters from Antioch (15 grams of 75% silver), which bore the head of Augustus.[11] Alternatively, they could have been Ptolemaic tetradrachms (13.5 ± 1 g of 25% silver)’

        Or, possibly a drachma or denarius, at 3.5-4.5 grams of (at this time) mostly silver.

        So at best half your value (troy ounce = 31 grams) and possibly around 1/8

  33. BBCC
    BBCC
    June 1, 2023 at 12:29 am | #

    Joe you get your ass there now and tell Carol ‘Thanks for the update, now hasta la bye bye.’

  34. Angel
    Angel
    June 1, 2023 at 12:38 am | #

    lol that’s pretty close/impressive for doing it with not looking at your phone lol

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 1, 2023 at 1:43 pm | #

      I used to be able to do it with a flip-phone… where I could actually identify the individual buttons by touch. Yeah, not so easy with modern touchscreens.

  35. Vincent
    Vincent
    June 1, 2023 at 12:38 am | #

    Eyebrows achieving Space Shuttle Status.

  36. Megan Rivera
    Megan Rivera
    June 1, 2023 at 12:44 am | #

    ……………..oh no. Poor Joyce…..:-(

  37. Net-Zero Joeyce Shipper (no engine, slowly following the current)
    Net-Zero Joeyce Shipper (no engine, slowly following the current)
    June 1, 2023 at 12:47 am | #

    expression of mild concern save for the eyebrows leaping above your head reflects how I’ve felt since Joyce’s mom’s appearance. “I am surprised. I am concerned. I am not making any sudden movements.”

    Glad that Joyce is lighting up the Bat Signal for Joe, esp. since he has an established track record of helping Joyce navigate parental conflict.

    (As much as I don’t want Dorothy to continue taking on the burden of being the Mom friend, I would absolutely be okay with Dorothy offing Mrs. Brown and supplanting her once and for all as Joyce’s True Mom.)

  38. Alex
    Alex
    June 1, 2023 at 12:51 am | #

    While Joe does have a good track record of helping Joyce out in personal things, and is her boyfriend, and all sorts of things… I am not sure he will be helpful here.

    I am very eager to be proven wrong, however.

    • Steelbright
      Steelbright
      June 1, 2023 at 1:55 am | #

      I feel this comment. I’m worried.

    • Net-Zero Joeyce Shipper (no engine, slowly following the current)
      Net-Zero Joeyce Shipper (no engine, slowly following the current)
      June 1, 2023 at 2:02 am | #

      obviously this isn’t a problem that he’s going to be able to solve for her, but just being present so Joyce isn’t alone with the unstable lady will be a huge comfort and a great starting point. Even showing up with an easy excuse for Joyce to leave–“study group is starting in the library! Come quick if you don’t want to fail The Big Test tomorrow!” would be fan-fucking-tastic.

      • k
        k
        June 1, 2023 at 8:01 am | #

        Joyce was literally on her way to class when her mother showed up, and she still guilted her into helping. I don’t think any excuse would work in this situation.
        The best bet for Joe might be to just show up and refuse to leave Joyce alone, providing a witness and hopefully intimidating her mother from doing anything drastic to Joyce.

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      June 1, 2023 at 8:39 pm | #

      my only concern is that with such a vague message he’s going to jump straight to “kidnapping/murder attempt” based on past experience, and be a whole lot more freaked out than he needs to be.

      well, that and him showing up being super worried about her might lead to joyce’s mum doing something else inappropriate.

  39. Proxiehunter
    Proxiehunter
    June 1, 2023 at 12:51 am | #

    So Carol is batshit batshit. Like edging into danger to herself and others territory. If you’re making decisions like that because your god came to you in a dream then what won’t you do if you think your god is telling you to do it?

    • AbacusWizard
      AbacusWizard
      June 1, 2023 at 1:06 am | #

      “And in this dream God told me that you and I should travel to Mount Moriah together to, uh, make an offering. It’ll make sense when we get there, I promise.”

      • Rotunda
        Rotunda
        June 1, 2023 at 1:52 am | #

        Can someone tell me whether Joyce is likely enough to have studied the Old Testament as well as the New to get this reference?

        • Steelbright
          Steelbright
          June 1, 2023 at 1:54 am | #

          I wasn’t close to fundie and I knew this story, so I’m sure Joyce would get it

      • Laura
        Laura
        June 1, 2023 at 3:07 am | #

        Norman Morrison actually referred to that particular passage before he… did what he did.
        He said words to the effect that “like Abraham, he dared not leave his child behind.”
        I’m actually find it rather chilling the kinds of situations that I was raised to believe made sense. Even today, it’s difficult to wrap my head around how truly abnormal they were.

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        June 1, 2023 at 12:21 pm | #

        Carol Brown née Jephthah

    • Mr.Morningstar
      Mr.Morningstar
      June 1, 2023 at 2:27 am | #

      I think she is long past edging when she willingly helped get the dude who brought and fired a shotgun at her daughters college out of jail

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        June 1, 2023 at 10:25 am | #

        Someone always points this out (like it matters), but it wasn’t a shotgun. It was an M202 FLASH, and he crispy-crittered about a dozen passing students.

  40. drs
    drs
    June 1, 2023 at 12:52 am | #

    URL:

    but-dont-give-yourself-away/sell

    “Don’t give yourself away! Sell yourself!”

  41. VinzKlortho
    VinzKlortho
    June 1, 2023 at 12:53 am | #

    I want a jump cut to Hank just having a nice, low key, crazy-free day.

  42. Sporky
    Sporky
    June 1, 2023 at 1:04 am | #

    Okay, so Carol has just totally lost touch with reality now. Lovely.

  43. StClair
    StClair
    June 1, 2023 at 1:04 am | #

    Dang, Joe is going to wonder if Joyce is being assaulted.
    (And she is, in a way.)

  44. Sajuuk-Khar
    Sajuuk-Khar
    June 1, 2023 at 1:19 am | #

    “Mom, have you ever heard of Joan of Arc and how this sort of thing turned out really, really badly for her?”

    “Oh, sweetie, Joan of Arc was a Satanic witch. She didn’t really see any divine visions.”

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      June 1, 2023 at 11:57 am | #

      Well, DUH, she was Catholic aka the whore of Babylon.

      • Sajuuk-Khar
        Sajuuk-Khar
        June 1, 2023 at 7:56 pm | #

        EXACTLY! That’s what Carol’s saying here, people! Bad things only happen when the God you’re talking to is actually Satan because reasons! 😉

  45. APW
    APW
    June 1, 2023 at 1:33 am | #

    Random Joyce fact: she doesn’t use autocorrect.
    (Otherwise she’d send something more along the lines of
    Hello bro po help HTML ok)

    • APW
      APW
      June 1, 2023 at 1:35 am | #

      Nope, not ths avatar

  46. Jon
    Jon
    June 1, 2023 at 1:52 am | #

    People have been predicting that this will turn malicious and I certainly do see that as a potential direction — Carol is a horrible person after all.

    But this strip just adds fuel to my personal theory that she’s not here as part of some nasty scheme…she’s just broken. She lost her husband and at least one of her kids, has few prospects, probably has been preyed on by the church (betting they have something to gain from her house sale)…I think Carol is spiraling.

    My guess is that she’s not here to truly interfere in Joyce’s life again…she’s just narratively here to show us the fallout of their divorce and remind us how badly organized religion can prey on the weak.

    • thumb
      thumb
      June 1, 2023 at 5:39 am | #

      Very much agree

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 1, 2023 at 7:15 am | #

      That tracks, given the everything we’ve heard.

      She’s been oddly wistful since she showed up.

  47. Steelbright
    Steelbright
    June 1, 2023 at 1:53 am | #

    Ack. Now I’m worried that sudden Mom crisis is not only going to be trickle for Joyce but also trigger Joe’s desire to emotionally distance himself… Hope it isn’t so

  48. Pocky
    Pocky
    June 1, 2023 at 2:02 am | #

    “It’s free real estate”

    – God, probably

  49. Azu
    Azu
    June 1, 2023 at 2:03 am | #

    Oh no.

  50. BOOSTER SHOT
    BOOSTER SHOT
    June 1, 2023 at 2:08 am | #

    Oh hell yeah, Carol rules

  51. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
    DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
    June 1, 2023 at 2:14 am | #

    Carol had her chance to divorce her husband earlier so she could elope with Ross. Guess she’s just trying to settle for acting like him until it gets her peen hammered to death just like his squat ass. Poor Joyce…

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      June 1, 2023 at 2:26 am | #

      wait i faintly remember
      did she actually try to get with Ross?

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        June 1, 2023 at 8:33 am | #

        No.
        No evidence for it that I can see. Other than they’re both on the worse side of their church.

        • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
          DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
          June 1, 2023 at 3:15 pm | #

          Although Carol IS starting to sound like him when he was stalking Becky, using God as a means of self-importance and to justify less than pride-of-the-community actions…

          Hope Carol thought beyond what God told her to do in that supposed dream with her actions as of late.

          Selling the house might be the best move now that she’s without a husband’s dentist income. Living in the suburbs isn’t cheap, and all the little birds have left the nest.

          But given that church family of hers seems to limit their support to discrediting each other’s critics, I’ll doubt they’ve even offered her a chance to crash at one of their places, now that she’s both divorced and no longer comes with the coattails of her husband’s good job and her youngest’s basic people skills/college material prospects to ride…

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            June 1, 2023 at 11:29 pm | #

            She does have her oldest son’s missionary work and grifting to fall back on if necessary.

      • RassilonTDavros
        RassilonTDavros
        June 1, 2023 at 1:53 pm | #

        I believe that was a fan theory, but AFAIK it was just that and nothing more.

    • shellshockbp
      shellshockbp
      June 1, 2023 at 9:40 am | #

      doggy doggy what now?

  52. Acher4
    Acher4
    June 1, 2023 at 2:27 am | #

    I fully expect that Carol gave all the money to her church?

    And now I do wonder if ‘god’ was the pastor of her church, whispering through the windows in the night.

  53. AGV
    AGV
    June 1, 2023 at 2:28 am | #

    Yeah, it might be a good idea to salvage as much as she can before Carol gets Ani more enlightened

  54. Raen
    Raen
    June 1, 2023 at 3:08 am | #

    Is it in her name, then? Et vir?

  55. BadRoad
    BadRoad
    June 1, 2023 at 3:52 am | #

    I’ve participated in a few real estate transactions in my time, and a week seems… fast. Especially when the house is part of a divorce settlement.

    (It was likely sold as-is, with no mortgage, with no more than one real estate agent involved. Inspections, due diligence, loans, and title research/insurance all take time.)

    This probably means she got a real lowball price, because of the rapid turnover and since the buyer bears 100% of the risk.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 1, 2023 at 4:40 am | #

      So did she call one of those phone numbers from a plastic road sign “I buy your house for $CASH$”?

    • Amós Batista
      Amós Batista
      June 1, 2023 at 5:05 am | #

      oh, so all family has lost A LOT of money

    • Masumi
      Masumi
      June 1, 2023 at 7:03 am | #

      Also possible that Carol isn’t exactly being accurate here, and actually gave the house to the church to be sold at a less low-ball price. Either way, house money likely lost.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 1, 2023 at 7:17 am | #

      If you’re wondering how she eats and breathes gets a divorce and sells her house so fast, and other science facts,
      (La la la)
      Just repeat to yourself “it’s just a show comic strip, I should really just relax.”

  56. chuckroast
    chuckroast
    June 1, 2023 at 4:22 am | #

    His eyebrows say he’s extremely alert, but the rest of his face says “Man, I wonder if I left the stove on.”

  57. Now
    Now
    June 1, 2023 at 4:23 am | #

    OH WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW this is turbo ultra worrying and Joyce being eighteen she absolutely cannot deal with this, poor baby

  58. Amelie Wikström
    Amelie Wikström
    June 1, 2023 at 4:26 am | #

    A likely scenario:
    Hank: “I want out, and I want us to keep paying Joyce’s tuition. You can have everything else. (And if we go to court that’s probably exactly what they’d judge.)”
    Carol: “Fine, tell me where to sign. Quitter. (Dear God the church needs money so bad.)”

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 1, 2023 at 4:39 am | #

      No idea if it would apply, but it is possible that Joyce’s education fund could have been put in her name. There are tax advantages to doing so in some places. I know this because I had to wangle the transfers of the money my dad gave to his grandchildren.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      June 1, 2023 at 8:35 am | #

      Also, Hank keeps his business – assuming he’s got his own dentist practice, which isn’t unlikely.
      That actually makes the division of assets look a lot more even.

  59. Sombrero
    Sombrero
    June 1, 2023 at 4:58 am | #

    I’m not being manipulative, I’m just following things I heard in a dream.

  60. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    June 1, 2023 at 5:09 am | #

    Now, the things will get interesting in this point of history.
    I wonder how much Willis will integrate his own history with DoA. The mom, the car, the faith.
    I like to think this storyline will be a turning point.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 1, 2023 at 7:19 am | #

      Too bad Walky can’t have a mini-pickup because freshmen aren’t allowed to have vehicles on campus. Maybe Linda could pull the string that gave Sal’s bike a pass…

  61. The Jighole Man
    The Jighole Man
    June 1, 2023 at 5:13 am | #

    run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, and furthermore, RUN!

  62. thumb
    thumb
    June 1, 2023 at 5:37 am | #

    You know, in this context, it does sound like someone having a breakdown. In the middle of the hardest period in her life, she gets a dream from god? And the dream is to get rid of the place that holds all the memories of her now broken family? And she shows up here delivering all these news so calmly and matter-of-fact? Yeah. She’s in trouble. Joyce needs help, but Carol also needs help for sure.

    • Masumi
      Masumi
      June 1, 2023 at 7:55 am | #

      You make a good point there. Problem is, I don’t think she’d accept help – except maybe from the church.

      Which made me think – what if she did go to their pastor for advice, and he was like ‘Oh that painful dream you had? Definitely means you need to sell the house.’? That seems like a level of awful well within expectations.

      • RocketRelm
        RocketRelm
        June 1, 2023 at 3:48 pm | #

        Specifically because, as her dream (and from what I know, the real life incident it’s based on) was to sell the house “and give the proceeds to the church”, there’s definitely incentive for him to go “wha-hey, free money? Sounds good to me, yeah, you go do that”.

  63. OnyxIdol
    OnyxIdol
    June 1, 2023 at 5:47 am | #

    I would have expected Hank to tell her at least.

    • Axel
      Axel
      June 1, 2023 at 5:50 am | #

      wouldn’t be surprised if she was like “I’ll tell all the kids, they won’t want to talk to you after this anyway,” or something, and then neglected it for an entire week specifically so that she could show up at Joyce’s (and maybe does-his-own-thing-siblings’s) place(s)

      • Axel
        Axel
        June 1, 2023 at 5:51 am | #

        (but that’s why you inform your kids even if the other parent says they’ll do it. better they hear it twice than never)

        • Insanenoodlyguy
          Insanenoodlyguy
          June 1, 2023 at 1:47 pm | #

          Honestly I expect she tried. I also expect Joyce hung up and didn’t check messages every time, unless she outright blocked her.

          On Hank’s end, he probably A. Correctly assumed she’d do it, and B. Is so sick of fighting her that he didn’t go out of his way to make a new point of contention.

          They have several kids. They will have to keep interacting with each other on some level. He’s not going to start crap when he has no reason to believe she isn’t doing it (and again, may have actually attempted to do it)

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 1, 2023 at 1:46 pm | #

      Does Hank know?

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      June 1, 2023 at 4:25 pm | #

      We know Jocelyne tried to call. It’s possible Hank was calling all of their kids to tell them and for some reason Jocelyne told him that she should be the one to tell Joyce.

      And then Joyce didn’t answer when she called.

  64. Plaaaa
    Plaaaa
    June 1, 2023 at 5:55 am | #

    Isn’t it normal for women to believe things they see in their dreams are real? Most of the fights I get into with my wife start with something horrible she says I did in her dreams. My mom and sisters are like that too.

    • Morenin
      Morenin
      June 1, 2023 at 6:39 am | #

      Um…nope. That is not normal. That is blending dreams with reality. With the caveat that level of confusion frequently might be a sign it’s time to work things out with a psychologist, because that’s inching towards some serious issues. Source- I am a mentally ill under treatment lady who has not confused dreams with reality since I was 8.

      • Miri
        Miri
        June 1, 2023 at 8:54 am | #

        Yeah, sometimes if dreams are realistic, it can be difficult to sift between real memories and memories of dreams (but memory is weird and reliably unreliable in some significant ways), but if you weren’t angry on going to sleep, and are on waking up about something uncharacteristic that has “occurred” then you should be able to quickly work out it was a dream, and that the real, actual person in front of you is not responsible for a manifestation of your subconscious, your anger is misplaced and unwarranted, and you should let go of it because the horrible thing has not actually happened!

    • Nicoleandmaggie
      Nicoleandmaggie
      June 1, 2023 at 8:49 am | #

      Is it normal for men to make generalizations about women from a small highly related sample?

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        June 1, 2023 at 8:51 am | #

        83.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

        • asmodai27
          asmodai27
          June 1, 2023 at 9:06 am | #

          With 85% of made-up statistics between 80% and 90%.

      • Big Z
        Big Z
        June 1, 2023 at 9:16 am | #

        I don’t know if it’s PREVALENT, but it is certainly (and sadly) NORMAL.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      June 1, 2023 at 10:32 am | #

      Yeah, they usually do it when their uterus has detached and is bouncing around inside them, causing them to act irrationally. That’s what the latest science says, anyway.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      June 1, 2023 at 12:00 pm | #

      No, it’s not, although my boyfriend and I tell each other when we have dreams with each other in them. Sometimes those conversations start with “Hey, I have a bone to pick with dream you!” Those conversations end with laughing not fighting.

    • milu
      milu
      June 1, 2023 at 12:46 pm | #

      obviously your claim (oh i’m sorry, your honest question) is ridiculous and super sexist.

      but here’s a serious thought though.
      what if your wife is actually just bringing up stuff that she needs addressed. perhaps the fact that she uses a nightmare as a springboard is trivial and beside the point, and you’re not actually hearing the much more important and real-life issue she’s trying to get through. you wouldn’t be near the first to use the “are we actually having an argument over X” defence when X was never the point, only the trigger.

      now obviously i don’t know you or your wife, so the keyword here is “perhaps”. i sure hope you(‘ve) consider(ed) that possibility

    • june gloom
      june gloom
      June 1, 2023 at 5:25 pm | #

      No.

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      June 1, 2023 at 7:56 pm | #

      …. I hope this is a bad joke.

    • C.T. Phipps
      C.T. Phipps
      June 1, 2023 at 11:54 pm | #

      No more than it is for men.

  65. vulcanodon
    vulcanodon
    June 1, 2023 at 6:49 am | #

    Joe, get moving…

    • k
      k
      June 1, 2023 at 8:27 am | #

      He’s gotta build some joementum first…

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      June 1, 2023 at 4:28 pm | #

      Give him a panel or two he just got the text.

      But yeah, given Joyce’s past history that he’s aware of a text like that is drop what you’re doing and bolt from the classroom explaining to the professor later territory.

      • Proxiehunter
        Proxiehunter
        June 1, 2023 at 10:08 pm | #

        And maybe text Sarah on the way there asking her to bring the bat. And Ruth telling her to get ready to collect some femurs.

    • Amós Batista
      Amós Batista
      June 1, 2023 at 9:15 pm | #

      He even didn’t kissed her, and already have a huge fire to put down…

  66. AlaninDC
    AlaninDC
    June 1, 2023 at 7:06 am | #

    Many years ago, Jesus came to me in a dream as well, but he was a vaudeville song-and-dance man with a straw hat, striped jacket and a cane, doing his act. This was long before Jesus Christ Superstar, so I wasn’t influenced by any outside media, other than what I already knew about vaudeville.

    That was the start of my questioning my religion, which took more than a decade to work through.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 1, 2023 at 7:20 am | #

      But did he have a white robe and blue sash? Those are important details.

      • AlaninDC
        AlaninDC
        June 1, 2023 at 7:47 am | #

        Nope, would have clashed with the jacket.

    • vulcanodon
      vulcanodon
      June 1, 2023 at 9:37 am | #

      I’d see that musical!

      • GossamerWillow
        GossamerWillow
        June 1, 2023 at 10:26 am | #

        In Godspell, there’s a whole scene set up like that where Jesus and Judas do the “splinter in your brother’s eye,” scripture like they’re a vaudeville duo setting up a joke. A lot of times while wearing straw hats and carrying canes.

  67. Chasey
    Chasey
    June 1, 2023 at 7:28 am | #

    So does that mean Joyce is homeless once she graduates? Or as soon as summer comes along? Which parent expects her to come to their new place?

    • Miri
      Miri
      June 1, 2023 at 10:02 am | #

      Becky!

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 1, 2023 at 3:38 pm | #

      “Which parent expects her to come to their new place?”

      Both of them.

    • Marrow
      Marrow
      June 1, 2023 at 4:04 pm | #

      She’s gonna live with her beautiful husband Joe at his place

  68. Zaxares
    Zaxares
    June 1, 2023 at 7:29 am | #

    I remember somebody here yesterday mentioned Neon Genesis. I blame them for now having that song with the lyrics “It’s all tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling DOOOOWN!” playing in my head during this strip. XD

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 1, 2023 at 8:43 am | #

      DYW is the one who started it, the mouseover alt text is “so many crosses in that bin it looks like end of evangelion in there.”

      But it will all return to nothing.

      • woobie
        woobie
        June 1, 2023 at 10:30 pm | #

        MY plan to turn us all into yellow glop is completely different from THEIR plan to turn us all into yellow glop!

  69. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    June 1, 2023 at 7:42 am | #

    It looks like no longer sleeping next to Hank allows Carol’s subconscious to go into the wildest fantasies she didn’t even dare to dream before. How sad…

  70. Nyx
    Nyx
    June 1, 2023 at 8:40 am | #

    I love how Carol just ambushed her DURING HER CLASS TIME

    • Big Z
      Big Z
      June 1, 2023 at 9:16 am | #

      That’s part of the deal. “Without ever outright asserting my continued dominion over you, my child, I’m going to PROVE I still own you by implicitly forcing you to deal with me when you had prior and important commitments.”

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        June 1, 2023 at 10:33 am | #

        That’s not in-character for Carol. She’d never think someone else’s commitments were important.

        • Sombrero
          Sombrero
          June 1, 2023 at 12:01 pm | #

          Unless they are Bible-related commitments (or at least, related to whatever whacky version of the Bible Carol is following).

  71. Paprikahoernchen
    Paprikahoernchen
    June 1, 2023 at 8:41 am | #

    Oh well Carol

    That’s.. a lot

  72. foducool
    foducool
    June 1, 2023 at 8:44 am | #

    did god also tell her to give all the money from the sale to the pastor?

  73. Ntrovert
    Ntrovert
    June 1, 2023 at 9:19 am | #

    Joyce / Mr. Willis,
    You have my deepest sympathies.

    • vulcanodon
      vulcanodon
      June 1, 2023 at 9:35 am | #

      Same.

  74. Hinoron
    Hinoron
    June 1, 2023 at 9:19 am | #

    I once had a dream I was part of the crew in Oceans Eleven. At no point did I consider it might have been God telling me I was supposed to rob a casino (or to become an actor, for that matter).

    That said… I don’t actually believe her about the dream; I think she’s just really used to lying to her daughter’s face, and a much younger Joyce probably would have bought this one.

  75. Tsa
    Tsa
    June 1, 2023 at 9:20 am | #

    Willis came to her in a dream like “yo I need you to move the story along.”

    • raultsi
      raultsi
      June 1, 2023 at 11:09 am | #

      Bwahahahaha

    • Marrow
      Marrow
      June 1, 2023 at 4:02 pm | #

      Laughed out loud reading this

  76. Caninse
    Caninse
    June 1, 2023 at 10:20 am | #

    Carol, just because a dream tells you to do something doesn’t mean you do. I’ve had dreams where people were injured or died by my actions. Doesn’t mean I went out and killed them. You should never, ever listen to your dreams unless it’s something like “I need to find a bathroom quick” or “I’m running late to an appointment.” Not something world changing like selling your fucking house.

  77. pope suburban
    pope suburban
    June 1, 2023 at 10:39 am | #

    Joe, I know you will have an impulse to play the good sedate boyfriend for Joyce here, but resist it. Joyce needs to let her anger, as mentioned and treasured by Dotty and Becky alike, shine here. Back her up and screw Carol’s good opinion – it’s not worth having in any case.

  78. Rocketboy1313
    Rocketboy1313
    June 1, 2023 at 10:46 am | #

    I commiserate with those young people who are finding out who their parents are as adults and realizing they are not the rock you had seen them as when you were a child.

    Since my grandfather died this year I have learned how much of an evil bastard he often was and even the property and money he left behind does not do much to counter that.

    • Azhrei Vep
      Azhrei Vep
      June 1, 2023 at 10:27 pm | #

      Oh god, yeah. Learning the truth about relatives you were previously close with and thought highly of suuuucks. Especially when it only happens after (especially immediately after) they’ve died, and you can’t even confront them about it.

  79. Adept
    Adept
    June 1, 2023 at 10:51 am | #

    Ok, Joyce’s mum has always been a nutcase, but this is really blowing up now. Poor Joyce.

    (I hope this isn’t one of those autobiographical things, because… yikes)

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      June 1, 2023 at 12:03 pm | #

      Sadly it is. Willis’ mom sold their childhood home and gave the money to the church based on a dream. Coincidentally at the time she was trying to blow through his dad’s savings in a divorce.

      • Sol
        Sol
        June 1, 2023 at 4:51 pm | #

        And the Church still went under anyways IIRC, right? Higher ups probably absconded with the money and laughed their way to the bank…

        • C.T. Phipps
          C.T. Phipps
          June 1, 2023 at 11:54 pm | #

          That is just extra disgusting.

      • Adept
        Adept
        June 3, 2023 at 8:35 am | #

        Fucking hell o.O

  80. Jennifer Bak
    Jennifer Bak
    June 1, 2023 at 12:05 pm | #

    I have to admit, it’s been fascinating watching Carol go off the rails in this universe, though super sad for all the family members effected by it. o_O

    I never watched Tiger King, but I feel like Carol is the train wreck I’m watching instead.

  81. John
    John
    June 1, 2023 at 12:52 pm | #

    A dream told me spend $9000 on an office chair, and you don’t see me doing that, Carol!
    Pull your head out of your ass!

  82. Juanoku
    Juanoku
    June 1, 2023 at 1:21 pm | #

    Oh God the more she talks the worse it GETS

  83. Yakumo
    Yakumo
    June 1, 2023 at 2:41 pm | #

    Not getting the alt text. Maybe I’m missing something, but it’s a Joyce head, smiling and sans glasses, but very much Joyce as she still is. Update to what? By the minute facial expression? With glasses she only recently got? I mean, I’ve seen people use photos for too long, but c’mon now…

    • angie
      angie
      June 1, 2023 at 3:43 pm | #

      I don’t have any links to back this up, but I think that’s the exact same joyce image that’s been copy/pasted as her icon for many irl years

    • Azhrei Vep
      Azhrei Vep
      June 1, 2023 at 10:25 pm | #

      I’m just wondering what she’s texting with that has pictures for texters in the first place.

  84. Marrow
    Marrow
    June 1, 2023 at 4:01 pm | #

    Man I hate this God character

  85. Allandrel
    Allandrel
    June 1, 2023 at 4:13 pm | #

    I notice that Carol is looking away from Joyce as she speaks. That’s not a good sign.

  86. Yoursmoreisburning
    Yoursmoreisburning
    June 1, 2023 at 4:34 pm | #

    Can any of you lore scholars/archive divers point me at the comic or general direction of when Joyce started texting regularly with Joe? Back when the identity of the texter was still unknown?

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      June 1, 2023 at 10:45 pm | #

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/roundtheclock/ I think. Reveal is at the end of the day.

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        June 1, 2023 at 10:53 pm | #

        oops, started on the day before. https://www.dumbingofage.com/complain/
        including foreshadowing, since it’s not clear its the same chat. https://www.dumbingofage.com/sorry-3/

        • Yoursmoreisburning
          Yoursmoreisburning
          June 2, 2023 at 12:08 am | #

          Thank you!

          Been lookung for this since they got together in the recent arc.

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        June 1, 2023 at 11:04 pm | #

        June 2016 First Bonus strip shows the beginning of the chat, but patreon has made it illegible. https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-strip-june-5864148

  87. Kazuma Taichi
    Kazuma Taichi
    June 1, 2023 at 5:29 pm | #

    Called it

    also shuddering from the whole “god told me to sell the house”, reminds me of the “would you jump off a bridge” line my parents’ generation loved to use

    • Felian
      Felian
      June 1, 2023 at 8:02 pm | #

      indeed…..

      “god told me to“ is the scariest argument. It doesn’t even matter whether someone genuinely believes that God spoke to them, or just say so to get away with whatever they *want* to do… it’s scary either way.

  88. Squishy
    Squishy
    June 1, 2023 at 8:10 pm | #

    Swyping really is the alternative to old flip-phone texting by remembering how many presses per button each letter and punctuation mark is. Should actually practice emergency messages doing that…

  89. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    June 1, 2023 at 9:07 pm | #

    Wait a minute: In churchs, in evangelicals one, there’s a pastor, right? I believe the pastor would give some counselor about a couple that wants to divorce.

    Sooo, Pastor Landrum, the man who authorized the bail for Ross, he should knows that Carol and Hank are getting divorce.
    At least, he should know that there’s conflict in Brown’s family.

    … he just accepted Carol offering they house, knowing all of this??

    No, there’s something strange here…

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      June 1, 2023 at 9:25 pm | #

      It’s not confirmed yet, just a very popular speculation because of similarities to Willis’ life. Maybe he’s going to throw a curveball, and she has given all the money to the Trevor Project.

  90. cmd1095
    cmd1095
    June 1, 2023 at 9:48 pm | #

    Oh so now she’s horrible AND crazy. Lovely… I don’t know if Joe can help here.

  91. C.T. Phipps
    C.T. Phipps
    June 1, 2023 at 11:53 pm | #

    Willis: Sell the house you evil bongo!

  92. Hof1991
    Hof1991
    June 2, 2023 at 10:00 am | #

    In churches that preach a prosperity gospel, giving until it hurts is considered a good investment. God loves you and your devotion and will pay you back a thousand fold. Bullshit of course, but very American.

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

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CONVENTION APPEARANCES


May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

David M Willis! avatar
David M Willis!
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 31min
by god belle is gonna EARN that emmy
2
1
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 37min
Dumbing of Age: "Lockscreen" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Lockscreen
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13
 
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1h
when "online retailer" assumes you live in a sliding timescale and wants to make sure your emails remain culturally relevant years into the future
3
1
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 4h
An appropriate day to open Hashtag, who was having sapphic roommate dreams about lady Seekers five minutes after being born.
3
4
53
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that, yes, lolly is so edda 2.0 that she's even wearing her mother's wedding dress as she gets married to Her Dad (But Taller)
11
37
 
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8h
Buy my MPM-3 Bumblebee! Opened, displayed, re-unopened, complete with instructions ebay.us/m/a4Y4Kt
1
11
 
reposted by David M Willis!
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Vangelus @vangelus.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
check out my original angle photos of ss86 megatron, source unknown and unimportant
ss86 megatron, shot in vertical in a mad seething panic by a severe incompetent
ss86 megatron, shot in vertical in a mad seething panic by a severe incompetent
ss86 megatron, shot in vertical in a mad seething panic by a severe incompetent
ss86 megatron, shot in vertical in a mad seething panic by a severe incompetent
5
12
70
 
reposted by David M Willis!
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Tommy Valdez @thomasav.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Target's 2025 Pride Collection
video thumbnail
6
150
545
 
reposted by David M Willis!
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Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social ⋅ 12h
header image - Target Scales Back Pride Section To Single T-Shirt Saying They’d Do A Threesome With A Girl For Their Boyfriend’s Birthday
theonion.com
Target Scales Back Pride Section To Single T-Shirt Saying They’d Do A Threesome With A Girl For Their Boyfriend’s Birthday
MINNEAPOLIS—Responding to conservative backlash over a large selection of offerings for the month of June, Target announced Friday that they would scale back their gay pride section to a single t-shir...
79
1003
5055
 
reposted by David M Willis!
lovejoolz.bsky.social's user avatar
Jules Effin Rivera @lovejoolz.bsky.social ⋅ 11h
Happy Pride! Here's the comic where I come out as a Disaster Pansexual *and* Animal Crossing Weirdo
Love, Joolz comic
Panel 1
Jules and Blackbird chilling on the couch. 
J: I'm going to my friend's Pride March in Animal crossing! Time to make a cool outfit that show off my cousins. 
B: But you already have Disaster Bisexual outfits in Animal Crossing. 
Panel 2
Jules attempts to sew a dress in the Pansexual colors.
J: I am not a disaster bisexual. I'm Pansexual.
B: What's the difference? 
J: Getting horny for way more options.
Panel 3
Blackbird flutters agitatedly at Jules, who struggles with the sewing machine. 
B: Jules you're running out of time! 
J: It's fine! I can get the dress done in time!
B: We gotta go! 
J: It's fine! I can get the dress done in time! 
B: We gotta go! We're gonna miss the march! 
J: It's fine it's fine it's fine it's--
Panel 4: 
Jules and Blackbird at the Animal Crossing Pride parade. Blackbird is in a cap with Trans flag colors and a shirt with a rainbow pattern. Jules is in a suit with a bow tie and a froggie hat. She looks a mess. 
B: Jesus God, you really are a disaster bisexual. 
J: Disaster Pansexual.
B: Right. 
B: Jesus God
11
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 13h
tfw the secret ingredient definitely isn't poison
8
4
48
 
reposted by David M Willis!
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sarahquaint @sarahquaint.bsky.social ⋅ 13h
Can we get a license for an additional official if we pay the processing fee and donate the harvest to a food bank?
kendrawcandraw.bsky.social's user avatarKendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social ⋅ 14h
Every queer person gets to kill and eat one(1) sitting US official this month
4
15
84
 
reposted by David M Willis!
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Ryan North @ryannorth.ca ⋅ 16h
by carefully mixing 10% cream with 1% skim milk, you can unlock forbidden milk percentages the government doesn't want you to know about, like 7.725%
some milk I used to make Forbidden Percentages. I didn't mention 2% in my post though. I gotta keep some secrets
120
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
online transformers collectors: i hope ss86 megatron doesn't have big ol' treads on his back!!! ss86 megatron: *treads fold up inside the legs* online transformers collectors: HIS LEGS ARE TOO CHUNKY >>>:((((
7
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Dumbing of Age: "Sweet prank" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Sweet prank
3
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
View AND change this, if we were talking quantum mechanics
1
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reposted by David M Willis!
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Micah @rincewind.run ⋅ 1d
the big disconnect that happens here is between the correct message for D politicians (especially in red states), which is “you’re right, this isn’t who you are, you’re better than that, vote differently next time” and the actual truth, which is yes you did, fuck you
kevinbuist.com's user avatarKevin Buist @kevinbuist.com ⋅ 2d
Yes, you did vote to deport moms.
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459
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Raw milk has the opportunity to do the funniest thing
fangferric.bsky.social's user avatarFerric Fang @fangferric.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
RFK Jr celebrated the release of the MAHA report by downing raw milk shooters in the White House with influencer Paul Saladino. Hazards of raw milk include Listeria, Salmonella, Campylobacter, Yersinia, E. coli O157:H7, and now-- avian flu.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
maggie, reading a strip from a year from now: oh this is so obnoxious, i love it she gets me
1
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned it's nice to see Walter Bubbletea, 80-year-old fiance to someone roughly 20, talk to someone his own age.
11
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
"ESPECIALLY willa!" "dad, has it come to mind yet that if i was correct, actually, about belle being cuckoo for murderpuffs, that she was in fact trying to kill me, your human daughter, all this time" "sorry, still only really care about the fish"
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "My eyes only" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
My eyes only
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edidin.bsky.social's user avatar
Jay Edidin @edidin.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
fuck Target's sad beige pride. You don't have to like rainbows to be loud and proud; AND you can support a currently-unemployed trans artist! (many more at link) www.teepublic.com/user/chekhov...
a black hoodie with hand-lettered white text reading,
a black tshirt with hand-lettered white text reading,
a red tshirt with hand-lettered black text reading,
a maroon tshirt with hand-lettered white text reading,
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leavittalone.bsky.social's user avatar
John Leavitt @leavittalone.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Mammal solidarity “stealing and eating a treat with your dexterous little hands”
paulle.bsky.social's user avatarPaul Lê @paulle.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
I'm obsessed with this li'l hungry bub.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
*weird dean sounds*
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Got my pointy Galvatron slippers.
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markjacob.bsky.social's user avatar
Mark Jacob @markjacob.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Rolling Stone is one of the few news outlets that know how to write headlines.
rollingstone.com's user avatarRolling Stone @rollingstone.com ⋅ 3d
Report: Elon Used So Much Ketamine He Couldn’t Pee Right The New York Times reports that the billionaire experienced some negative effects from frequent drug use while stumping for Trump last year
header image - Elon Used So Much Ketamine He Couldn't Pee Right: Report
rollingstone.com
Elon Used So Much Ketamine He Couldn't Pee Right: Report
Elon Musk's frequent use of ketamine during the 2024 campaign caused him to experience bladder problems, according to The New York Times.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
everyone: remember to transform your ss86 scavenger so that the shovel arm hangs off his ass like a floppy butt-penis
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papaalphakilo.bsky.social's user avatar
PAK @papaalphakilo.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Sam Reich doing a little dance on the set of
rajandelman.bsky.social's user avatarBlue sky nice guy @rajandelman.bsky.social ⋅ 12d
We need a liberal Jigsaw
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benrosen.bsky.social's user avatar
Ben Rosen @benrosen.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
i tell ya, my wife is bi. yeah, she bi and i pay!
maggiewestrum.bsky.social's user avatarMaggie Westrum @maggiewestrum.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
we need a rodney dangerfield of the left
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