Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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we all remember garfunkel and oates, right
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June 14, 2026

Sportings

by David M Willis on May 13, 2023 at 12:01 am
  • 04 – But Don't Give Yourself Away
└ Tags: danny, lucy, walky

Discussion (322) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    May 13, 2023 at 12:02 am | #

    hey, life hacks: GOING SOMEWHERE WITH ANOTHER PERSON, WHEN THERE’S MUTUAL INTEREST, COUNTS, DOUBLES ARE IRRELEVANT

    also, fuck The Rules

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      May 13, 2023 at 12:03 am | #

      *is not a very good example, what with first date with Spouse being apartment hunting then Burger King*

      • True Survivor
        True Survivor
        May 13, 2023 at 12:15 am | #

        You guys didn’t manage to catch that apartment, huh?
        It’s ok – I heard they don’t taste that great anyway.

        • Birion
          Birion
          May 13, 2023 at 12:24 am | #

          Can confirm. Now gazebos, on the other hand…

          • elebenty
            elebenty
            May 13, 2023 at 1:51 am | #

            Mmmmm, lattice.

          • David Alexander McDonald
            David Alexander McDonald
            May 13, 2023 at 3:40 am | #

            With gazebos you run the risk of first being fallen upon, then swallowed.

          • KingoHrts
            KingoHrts
            May 13, 2023 at 8:46 am | #

            Eric, is that you?

            • Whirlwitch
              Whirlwitch
              May 13, 2023 at 9:21 pm | #

              Thank you for that reference. I am married to someone who was there for that game. Living history, I tell you.

          • LadyIslay
            LadyIslay
            May 13, 2023 at 9:19 pm | #

            I hear the dreaded ones are especially spicy.

    • NGPZ
      NGPZ
      May 13, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

      yeah fuck ’em

      it’s gotta feel like torture to Lucy at this point. and Danny’s back as well

      *plays “Gang Star Torture Dance” from Golden Wind OST on hacked muzak*

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      May 13, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

      There’s a footnote in the terms and conditions that requires at least one of the three dates to have an “extra” from the approved list. “Double date” meets the criteria. Also acceptable are “travel date” and “medjool date”… wait… that one’s on the wrong list…

      • Jennifer Bak
        Jennifer Bak
        May 13, 2023 at 10:28 am | #

        I feel like “activity date”, “Live sports viewing date”, “high-brow date (museum, gallery, a stage show, etc.)” should all count as acceptable extras, so she should be good. 😉

      • Daibhid C
        Daibhid C
        May 13, 2023 at 11:15 am | #

        Trying to palm us off with the wrong kind of date, eh?

        • RoyanRannedos
          RoyanRannedos
          May 13, 2023 at 8:01 pm | #

          Danny’s telling them to figget about it.

    • GholaHalleck
      GholaHalleck
      May 13, 2023 at 12:16 am | #

      Walky just has a shirt that says “the rules” on it for just such emergencies.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      May 13, 2023 at 4:23 am | #

      “also, fuck The Rules”

      Only on the third date or later.

      • Chris Phoenix
        Chris Phoenix
        May 14, 2023 at 2:11 am | #

        This kind of Christian isn’t just dating The Rules, she’s been cohabiting with The Rules since they met. “Hi, I’m The Rules. Now that you’ve met me, you’re a bad person if you don’t like me. Let’s move in.”

    • Clif
      Clif
      May 13, 2023 at 4:43 am | #

      GO team!!!

    • Gbz
      Gbz
      May 13, 2023 at 8:19 am | #

      If there is a 3rd person then it’s not really a date. Especially if that 3rd is your sister. But if there’s a 3rd and 4th and those 2 are a couple then it’s a double date.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        May 13, 2023 at 12:47 pm | #

        But going out the game as a couple is a date, even if his sister is playing and you meet up with them afterwards.

    • Spacey
      Spacey
      May 13, 2023 at 8:54 am | #

      Lucy doesn’t want to fuck the rules. She wants to fuck Walky.

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    May 13, 2023 at 12:03 am | #

    I was gonna count the comments until we got a Garfunkel and Oates reference, but the alt-text did it, so I guess the answer is zero.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 13, 2023 at 12:11 am | #

      Garfunkel and Oates?

      [/clueless_old_guy]

      • Kyrik Michalowski
        Kyrik Michalowski
        May 13, 2023 at 12:15 am | #

        They are a comedy duo. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garfunkel_and_Oates

        • BadRoad
          BadRoad
          May 13, 2023 at 3:48 pm | #

          Is there also a Hall and Simon?

      • Rex Vivat
        Rex Vivat
        May 13, 2023 at 12:23 am | #

        As someone else said, they’re a comedy duo. Check our their song The Loophole for context.

      • CrazyJ
        CrazyJ
        May 13, 2023 at 12:27 am | #

        “Sports Go Sports” also is a song that would apply to their venue

      • Cholma
        Cholma
        May 13, 2023 at 12:45 am | #

        Specifically, I believe the Alt text is referring to either :
        “Fuck you” or
        The Loophole

        • cbwroses
          cbwroses
          May 13, 2023 at 12:58 am | #

          Wowwww…

        • Bicycle Bill
          Bicycle Bill
          May 13, 2023 at 6:34 am | #

          While you’re at it, check out Go-Kart Racing.

        • superglucose
          superglucose
          May 13, 2023 at 12:12 pm | #

          Fuck me in the ass ‘cuz I love Jesus!

          • Sambo
            Sambo
            May 13, 2023 at 5:46 pm | #

            Excellent gravatar! (For future reference when the gravatars get changed: it’s Lucy)

        • butting
          butting
          May 13, 2023 at 7:29 pm | #

          “That w– that was Weird.”

          They missed a casting opportunity though, they should’ve had him play Jesus in The Loophole.

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        May 13, 2023 at 9:01 am | #

        Well, one of them is also Ruby from Steven Universe, if that helps.

        • Benjamin Geiger
          Benjamin Geiger
          May 13, 2023 at 2:42 pm | #

          Sadie, not Ruby.

          • ValdVin
            ValdVin
            May 14, 2023 at 7:23 pm | #

            Well, I messed that up. But thanks for correcting me, else I won’t learn.

            I can’t believe I confused the two voice actors. (That they both do work in front of the camera and I’m not familiar with it is no excuse.)

      • zee
        zee
        May 13, 2023 at 1:38 pm | #

        Damn. Garfunkel and Oates are in a weird spot now where apparently there are still folk on the internet too old to have ever heard of them, but most Zoomers are a little too young to have come across their stuff youtube outside of references. If you ask most Zoomers who Kate Miucci(?) is you’d get Webby van der Quack and Sadie Miller

        Didn’t know they were still trucking, that’s awesome

        • Justnobodyfqwl
          Justnobodyfqwl
          May 13, 2023 at 8:58 pm | #

          Yeah, it’s very funny seeing how many people will kneejerk to “oh im too old for this” when, in fact, they were mostly active like a decade and a half ago and have both gone on to have completely normal and successful acting careers

    • Michael Lanting
      Michael Lanting
      May 13, 2023 at 8:00 am | #

      I’d never heard of Garfunkel and Oates before. Just watched The Loophole and it was awesome.

  3. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 13, 2023 at 12:03 am | #

    Don’t knock it until you try it!

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      May 13, 2023 at 12:14 am | #

      I think Walky has tried it, that would explain why he says he doesn’t really care for it. So he either tried it with Dorothy or Amber, and did not enjoy it.

      • Axel
        Axel
        May 13, 2023 at 12:48 am | #

        Yeah, (HueSatLight is also right, but) “I don’t care for […]” sounds more like it has been tried out, as opposed to something like “I’m not interested in [doing it in the butt].”

        • Azhrei Vep
          Azhrei Vep
          May 13, 2023 at 3:09 am | #

          I have never related to Walky less than at this moment.

      • Rabid Rabbit
        Rabid Rabbit
        May 13, 2023 at 12:51 am | #

        I’m more on team “He knows he’s not interested without having tried,” but if he did, I would guess it was with Amber. I may be slandering Dorothy by saying it just doesn’t seem like something she’d want to try, but there we are, while we know that Amazi-Girl and Danny had a buttplug, though whose it was and for whose use were never elucidated. My headcanon (well, buttcannon, I suppose) was always that it belonged to Amber/A-G, but was exclusively for use on Danny. Though I have no idea why.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 13, 2023 at 2:08 am | #

          Unless someone told Dorothy that every president does butt stuff. Then she’d consider it a right of passage.

          • eh, whatever
            eh, whatever
            May 13, 2023 at 4:55 am | #

            rite, as in religion

          • Ntrovert
            Ntrovert
            May 13, 2023 at 11:10 am | #

            Passage… heh.

        • JasonAW3
          JasonAW3
          May 13, 2023 at 4:33 pm | #

          We don’t need no stinking butt-cannon!

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 13, 2023 at 12:32 am | #

      People can know what they’re uncomfortable with, without trying t.

      • Clif
        Clif
        May 14, 2023 at 12:58 am | #

        That’s true, but my money’s on Walky just not passing up on the opportunity to be snarky.

    • Rose by Any Other Name
      Rose by Any Other Name
      May 13, 2023 at 12:36 am | #

      Butt stuff – far more enjoyable for both parties than popular culture would have you believe.

      • Axel
        Axel
        May 13, 2023 at 12:49 am | #

        seriously. of course some people just don’t like it, but there’s a lot of false “it’s impossible for afabs to enjoy” around

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        May 13, 2023 at 1:08 pm | #

        Meh. The smell puts me off.

        • Axel
          Axel
          May 13, 2023 at 5:40 pm | #

          different strokes and also different noses and butts but I’ve never noticed a smell

  4. Arcee
    Arcee
    May 13, 2023 at 12:03 am | #

    Which part of the Bible is the Third Date Rule in, again?

    • Jude Deluca
      Jude Deluca
      May 13, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

      Gospel of Luke

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 13, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

      Sermon on the Mount

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 13, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

      Somewhere in the begats. Or maybe Adam knowing his wife.

    • Kim
      Kim
      May 13, 2023 at 12:32 am | #

      I believe there is something in the apolistic creed about being ”risen on the third date”

      • Lien
        Lien
        May 16, 2023 at 2:34 pm | #

        Nice !

        But yes Lucy is really disgracing herself there, it’s sad to watch; there are two canons she could go for, “never before marriage” (some dude somewhere, not exactly in the Bible but there is at least some basis for it in it) or “love, and do what thou wilt” (Augustinus of Hippo), trying to circonvene self-imposed rules is so antagonistic to all that can be good in Christianism that she would better just become a honest heathen like Joyce…

        • Lien
          Lien
          May 17, 2023 at 7:28 pm | #

          I guess that I had underestimated how evil American christianism is…

    • Jenniffniff
      Jenniffniff
      May 13, 2023 at 12:33 am | #

      Sexodus

      • Jenniffniff
        Jenniffniff
        May 13, 2023 at 12:39 am | #

        Shaggai

        • Jenniffniff
          Jenniffniff
          May 13, 2023 at 12:40 am | #

          Ecclesiasdeez nuts

          (Sorry I’m done)

          • Miri
            Miri
            May 13, 2023 at 7:10 am | #

            The avatar combined with the comments… 😂😂😂

            • Miri
              Miri
              May 13, 2023 at 7:10 am | #

              When did I become Malaya?!!

              • BarerMender
                BarerMender
                May 13, 2023 at 1:10 pm | #

                Trade you a Joe.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 13, 2023 at 8:12 pm | #

      Genesis 1:13-16
      Evening passed and morning came—that was the third date.

      After the third date, God commanded, “Let lights appear in the sky to separate day from night and to mark the seasons, when to sow and when to grind; they will shine in the sky to give light to the earth”—and it was done. So God made the two larger lights, the sun to rule over the day and the moon to rule over the night; he also made the place the sun does not shine.

  5. BBCC
    BBCC
    May 13, 2023 at 12:03 am | #

    She’s not lying, I mean we’ve sat through nearly 15 years of Joyce justifications.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      May 13, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

      GODDAMMIT I am remembering to do grab roulette tonight!

      • Kyrik Michalowski
        Kyrik Michalowski
        May 13, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

        I believe in you, the gravatar path shall eventually open it’s mysteries to you. Then who will be laughing?

      • Decidedly Orthogonal
        Decidedly Orthogonal
        May 13, 2023 at 12:33 am | #

        Good luck.

        For the curious:

        There’s a full write-up on Grav Roulette on Walkypedia.

        • Jenniffniff
          Jenniffniff
          May 13, 2023 at 12:51 am | #

          Wow thank you for linking that. I love this community lol.

        • Miri
          Miri
          May 13, 2023 at 7:12 am | #

          Thank you, I just became MALAYA and need a reshuffle…

      • zee
        zee
        May 13, 2023 at 1:41 pm | #

        I’ve been doing it subtly since i haven’t noticed any actual roulette threats
        I don’t have it in me to hunt down sal again yet but I’m vibing with Julia Grey

        • Clif
          Clif
          May 14, 2023 at 1:01 am | #

          Well, it’s not Sal, but probably second best.

    • 0x2ba22e11
      0x2ba22e11
      May 13, 2023 at 7:57 pm | #

      Joycestifications

  6. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    May 13, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

    Dumbing of Age Book 13: I Don’t Believe You Realize the Pretend, Self-Placed Hoops a Christian Woman Will Jump Through to Justify Getting Railed

    • PirateTawnee
      PirateTawnee
      May 13, 2023 at 1:28 am | #

      I thought “book title” before I’d even finished reading the last panel.

  7. Masumi
    Masumi
    May 13, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

    Um, Lucy? She’s really hung up on this third date thing. Like that’s even remotely the biggest problem.

    • Angel
      Angel
      May 13, 2023 at 12:14 am | #

      tbh given the freedom of college and teenage hormones 3rd date would be kinda restrained for some ppl’s standards, but maybe this’ll lead to walky blurting out that he’s not ready

      • Ophidiophile
        Ophidiophile
        May 13, 2023 at 2:35 am | #

        She doesn’t want people thinking she is easy.

    • Vanessa
      Vanessa
      May 13, 2023 at 12:22 am | #

      Another reminder why I don’t like Lucy or Walky. But her transparency here is refreshing if about as realistic as the fun superhero shenanigans I wish we’d see more of.

      • Mano308gts
        Mano308gts
        May 13, 2023 at 10:17 am | #

        Interesting… Personally, I hope we never return to the superhero nonsense, it always broke sense of immersion for me. That and Amber being one of my least favorite characters…

        Meanwhile I do find the openness here entertaining.

        • poofdepoof
          poofdepoof
          May 13, 2023 at 12:13 pm | #

          +1 to your entire comment, mano

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        May 13, 2023 at 1:14 pm | #

        I’m with you on the don’t-likes. They deserve each other.

  8. cbwroses
    cbwroses
    May 13, 2023 at 12:04 am | #

    What the hell is this strip?!
    I thought it was a joke, but April Fools was last month!
    🤣🤣🤣

    • zee
      zee
      May 13, 2023 at 1:43 pm | #

      Well this comics still a comedy when it’s not being a drama

  9. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 13, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

    >alt text
    I will never think of Kate Micucci as anything else BUT Garfunkle and Oats. Handjob Blandjob is stuck in my head forever but I REALLY love their song on being a Loser. As someone who’s a GIANT loser, it’s really inspirational. If you ever feel bad for losing nonstop give it a listen, fellow losers.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw2qEUwFbGM

    • NGPZ
      NGPZ
      May 13, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

      Thanks Yoto!!!! So so much. Very affirming. ☺

      Here, we’re allowed to be losers. 😌

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      May 13, 2023 at 12:14 am | #

      I usually think of her first for her voice acting, especially Sadie Miller on Steven Universe.

      • cbwroses
        cbwroses
        May 13, 2023 at 12:24 am | #

        Hold up.
        She played Sadie?
        Well, damn.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 13, 2023 at 12:32 am | #

          She’s also currently Velma. Well…the only Velma I care about anyway.

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          May 13, 2023 at 8:21 am | #

          She does a decent amount of VA work, she was also Webby in Ducktales and she’s the current voice of Velma

          • Chris Phoenix
            Chris Phoenix
            May 14, 2023 at 2:17 am | #

            She was a VA in Ducktales? That’s too perfect.

            For those who haven’t binge-watched Garfunkel and Oates yet – one of their very funny songs is “Sex with ducks”

      • Axel
        Axel
        May 13, 2023 at 12:50 am | #

        Yes, Sadie here too.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 13, 2023 at 1:10 am | #

          I drew a LOOOT of art of Sadie back in the day. (also I still ship her with Lars, Future be damned)

          • Axel
            Axel
            May 13, 2023 at 2:45 am | #

            shipping doesn’t gotta be canon

            (I agree with you, but I also appreciate the message that people grow apart and don’t have to stay with the person who seemed perfect for them before, especially since kids media tends to do true love from the moment they met)

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              May 13, 2023 at 3:32 am | #

              I just like the idea that by the end of the show they each became the others favorite thing. Sadie became a cool kid and a rock star and Lars became a Zombie bounty hunter.

              • Axel
                Axel
                May 13, 2023 at 5:27 am | #

                that’s a great take

                • Axel
                  Axel
                  May 13, 2023 at 8:10 am | #

                  my husband added ‘they go apart, then come back together’ and did the diamond salute, because that’s the shape it makes

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  May 13, 2023 at 12:12 pm | #

                  I love that. Yeah I’ll die on that hill.
                  https://imgur.com/a/3ZcJRC6 (Old art. Suggestive)

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        May 13, 2023 at 2:29 am | #

        Webby as well

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      May 13, 2023 at 12:22 am | #

      I love “Loser” – it was helpful to me in some moments of real self doubt.

    • AbacusWizard
      AbacusWizard
      May 13, 2023 at 12:35 am | #

      I still think of her as that awesome occasionally-appearing character in Scrubs. And also a briefly-appearing character in Bart Got A Room. And also I think she’s in the new Duck Tales? which I really ought to watch at some point.

      Also also, she plays cool songs.

      • Justnobodyfqwl
        Justnobodyfqwl
        May 13, 2023 at 8:55 pm | #

        No other human being in the entire world has ever, ever talked about Dave Got A Room. I watched a nonzero but incomplete amount of that movie SOLELY because I had a huge crush on Kate Miccuci after seeing her in Scrubs.

    • zee
      zee
      May 13, 2023 at 1:45 pm | #

      She’ll always be webby to me

  10. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    May 13, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

    Self-placing your hoops? Won’t that make you go blind?

    • Qube
      Qube
      May 13, 2023 at 12:54 am | #

      or require glasses, at least, apparently

  11. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    May 13, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

    Amazing last panel.

    Also, I do indeed remember Garfunkel and Oates. I love those two, which is why I choose to pretend Kate Micucci wasn’t/isn’t shilling NFTs.

  12. Some1
    Some1
    May 13, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

    Hold on, is the third date rule a Christian thing? I mean I admit I haven’t read all of the Bible but I’m fairly certain there isn’t a part where Jesus says: you shalt not do it until the third date, unless thee do it in her rectum, then it be cool.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      May 13, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

      I don’t think it’s actually one necessarily, it was something Walky and Lucy decided on early as sort of an arbitrary rule because there was sexual tension but they didn’t want to act on it yet, Lucy for religious reasons and I guess reasoning that if she waits at least a few dates, it’ll mean she isn’t rushing into it and it is thus more permissible.

      Walky joked it was something Jesus dictated on Sermon at the Mount, in his usual irreverence about Christianity.

    • Angel
      Angel
      May 13, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

      I think ‘third date’ is more popular culture, but a repressed christian could easily interpret it as ‘it’s ok because it means 3 dates is enough to mean he’ll be committed enough to stay’, though there is a stereotype? about christians being married pretty soon after high school/college/after a year or so of knowing someone if only just for the sex (though i guess depending, you could easily do a quickie divorce and move on, maybe discreetly but i imagine if that kinda stuff bothered you , idk how many ppl would move on too soon after the last even if they’re disappointed with the sex since they’d have a reputation/not want it to let it affect how others in their church perceived them)

    • Vanessa
      Vanessa
      May 13, 2023 at 12:29 am | #

      The kind of extreme Christians whose youth pastors or parents force them to make virginity pledges have all sort of justifications and loopholes and pretend rules to get around actually being virgins at marriage. There are also a lot of sexist expectations that a girl will do whatever it takes to keep her boy. And also a lot of abortions. Girls will get expelled for a pregnancy!

    • AbacusWizard
      AbacusWizard
      May 13, 2023 at 12:36 am | #

      Some branches of Christianity are really good at making up new rules and then pretending they’re in the Bible and then, over the generations, completely forgetting that they’re *not* in the Bible.

      • Dr. T
        Dr. T
        May 13, 2023 at 7:03 pm | #

        It’s like all of the Lost Commandments given in Moral Orel.

    • eh, whatever
      eh, whatever
      May 13, 2023 at 4:58 am | #

      It’s an American conservative-but-not-too-fundie thing.

    • zee
      zee
      May 13, 2023 at 1:47 pm | #

      It’s something between waiting till marriage and being a downright HARLOT

  13. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    May 13, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

    “I don’t believe you realize the pretend self-placed loop holes a Christian woman will jump through to justify getting railed.”

    …I mean if you’re just gonna say it.

  14. Badluck1313
    Badluck1313
    May 13, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

    Danny’s doing the DOA “this is hot” lip-bite, which means he has the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

    • jflb96
      jflb96
      May 13, 2023 at 9:31 am | #

      Take Walky’s girlfriend in a misguided act of pseudo-vengeance?

  15. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    May 13, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

    DISCOMFORT FOR EVERYONE!

  16. Bittersweet
    Bittersweet
    May 13, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    This is outrageous, it’s unfair

    • Bittersweet
      Bittersweet
      May 13, 2023 at 12:13 am | #

      On a serious note though, I don’t understand the third date thing. I used to be terrified of sex due to my Christian upbringing and when I finally managed to do it, it was because I believed I would be with the dude for the rest of our lives (I was wrong, it was not meant to be.) Like… an arbitrary number makes less sense to me as justification than simple “But we’re SpIrItUaLlY bOnDeD” would. Idk, maybe because the third date rule feels so impersonal and sex is still a very personal thing for me.

      I wonder how Lucy would’ve reacted to dating my husband. He gave me an estimated timeline of 5 years. We only waited a month, but him thinking that was how long it took to advance a relationship to that stage threw me for a loop and I still tease him to this day (for the record, we had our daughter after 3 years together.)

      • Angel
        Angel
        May 13, 2023 at 12:34 am | #

        i wonder if it’s an international thing or just an american pop culture thing since you here ‘stereotypes’ about certain other countries being promiscuous or ‘handsome europeans’ seducing tourists or so quickly

        Though it would be kinda shitty but other than ppl knowing “ok, expecting sex on the first date would be coming on too strong but if it doesn’t happen on the third date i won’t bother anymore/ghost them” But to me it’d rly depend on how long you knew them before hand because 3 dates after a platonic friendship of someone you’ve known for like 5 years seems reasonable compared to ‘3 dates with someone who was a complete stranger/set up with a blind date’ depending on your experience/maturity level, though feels like it should still be talked about beforehand for ppl to prepare with grooming and getting supplies and all that

        • efes
          efes
          May 13, 2023 at 4:00 am | #

          I’m Polish and have lived in a few places in Europe over the years, and this has always seemed to be a weird, post-puritanical American thing. In fact, this extends to the entire notion of dating as some sort of semi-formalised courtship (and sort of similar to the conception of high school in American pop culture, which is completely unrelatable for me).

          • milu
            milu
            May 13, 2023 at 6:40 am | #

            Yeah, same.
            “Dating” has become more of a thing now in France with dating apps, like those do carry the built-in assumption that sex/romance is the desired end point of the encounter. But as a testament to how this is still a recent, imported concept people will often use the emglish word in this context, saying things like “j’ai un date ce soir” or “Lui c’est un gars que j’ai daté l’an dernier”.

            “Date” is actually a french word too, but in these contexts it is pronounced different (and gendered different too, at least in my hexagonal-ass experience, no doubt french canadians, as often with english loanwords, tend to use the feminine gender where we default to the masculine)

            (see also the ridiculous debates we’ve had as to how to gender “covid” lol, that was pretty silly)

          • Ldot
            Ldot
            May 13, 2023 at 8:43 am | #

            Yeah, similar for me as well. I’m Italian (and a late Nineties teen, just for chronological context) and we didn’t really have the concept of “dating”. Although the culture has probably changed with time and American influence. I’m not living in Italy anymore so I can’t say for certain.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            May 13, 2023 at 12:51 pm | #

            Maybe it’s because I’m American, but if you don’t have the concept of dating, what do you have? Like, some kind of romantic relationships are still a thing, right?
            What do you do?

            • milu
              milu
              May 13, 2023 at 2:05 pm | #

              so speaking as a french person born and raised in the 90s-2000s, it’s not the part where you describe a romantic relationship as “dating someone” that’s foreign (the usual expression we use is “sortir avec” = to “go out” with a person, though that doesn’t necessarily involve any outings).

              it’s moreso the idea that there could be such a thing as a meet-up between two people who aren’t yet in a relationship, that is explicitly declared “a date”, and for this to matter in some way, to be a specific category.

              like, as a teen, there was always something kind of alien and hard to fathom to me in say, teen sitcoms when a character would ask someone they fancied out “on a date” thereby clarifying their romantic intentions upfront. i didn’t think i would enjoy this sort of pre-emptive declaration. like, the idea of someone going “are you asking me on a date?” is a bit hard to conceive, i feel like i would get defensive, like, “no, i just wanna go have dinner, talk, and then haha, who knows what might happen??!”

              idk if that clears it up any.

              • milu
                milu
                May 13, 2023 at 2:09 pm | #

                oh, and i’m mostly focusing on how it feels weird to call sth a date when people aren’t yet together, but this here with Lucy and Walky, where they have to somehow quantify the progress of their relationship by number of “dates” is part of that culture.
                like, my romantic life isn’t really standard in some ways, but i’ve never considered outings to be significant milestones of a relationship in any way, sure they’re nice, but it’s not like… a thing. you don’t “go on a date”, you just… go to the movies with your sweetheart or whatever. and maybe you go just the two of you, or maybe with a couple of friends, but there’s no specific phrase like “double date” that i’m aware of in french.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                May 13, 2023 at 3:32 pm | #

                Honestly, that basically fits my experience, especially in college – which seems more Walky and Dorothy or Dina & Becky. I’d agree that the internet dating world changes things. There were some times post college where it was useful to make clear when first asking someone who was already a friend that the intention is actually romantic, rather than just a couple friends hanging out.

                In the context of the comic, I think it’s pretty clear that Lucy’s the odd one out even in this American crowd and that it’s mostly because of hoops she’s placed for herself.

                • milu
                  milu
                  May 13, 2023 at 4:10 pm | #

                  Oh sure, its clear that Lucy is taking this way too far, but she does have a concept to invest that doesn’t really exist in many other cultures

            • Ldot
              Ldot
              May 14, 2023 at 8:09 am | #

              What Milu is saying pretty much holds for me as well. Similar things happen, they’re just more undefined/fuzzy. You flirt with someone, maybe you meet at classes or parties or you have a friend group in common. Maybe you go out together alone a few times, although this isn’t necessary. Eventually you formalize it in some way (in Italian the verbiage is “being together”). Of course this is all a lot more relevant to high school/college. I’ve been with the same person since I was 25 so I don’t have much experience with grown-up dating 😀

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        May 13, 2023 at 1:54 pm | #

        Her three date rule is funny because they’re not dating.

  17. Suet
    Suet
    May 13, 2023 at 12:08 am | #

    Now the cheers make sense. Get his ass, Lucy!

    I mean, yes I remember that song from G&O, but is it dramatic irony considering Oates’ surname?

    • Bo
      Bo
      May 13, 2023 at 1:01 am | #

      “get his ass” i mean, pegging is the *other* loophole, but im thinking ‘no butts’ also applies to Walky too??

  18. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    May 13, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    Damn, Lucy, get it.

  19. Icalasari
    Icalasari
    May 13, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    …Lucy has AMAZING leg strength in the last panel

    • Abel Undercity
      Abel Undercity
      May 13, 2023 at 6:25 am | #

      She is highly motivated.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      May 13, 2023 at 1:24 pm | #

      It looks like Danny is holding them both up with his arms.

  20. Agentomega
    Agentomega
    May 13, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    “What? How can you do this? This is outrageous; it’s unfair. How can we both be on dates and it not be a double date?!”
    “Take a seat Lucy.”

  21. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 13, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    Honestly I hope this doesn’t count as a 3rd date because I desperately don’t want these two to have sex. That just seems like an accident waiting to happen. These two have the compatibility of skittles and M&Ms. They look nice together but if someone mixed em up in a bowl it’ll be terrible for everyone involved.

    • cbwroses
      cbwroses
      May 13, 2023 at 12:13 am | #

      Great analogy.

      • Angel
        Angel
        May 13, 2023 at 12:23 am | #

        ANALogy ;P

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      May 13, 2023 at 12:19 am | #

      You know, I have never tried to eat Skittles and m&m’s at the same time. I wonder if it is as gross as people make it out to be.

      • Angel
        Angel
        May 13, 2023 at 12:34 am | #

        depends on how much you like fruit + chocolate, i think it’d be ok compared to like making it sour skittles

      • Angel
        Angel
        May 13, 2023 at 12:36 am | #

        searching it up, “chocolate skittles” are a thing

        https://www.ebay.com/itm/115459710584

      • RassilonTDavros
        RassilonTDavros
        May 13, 2023 at 12:37 am | #

        I think the tastes would probably go together well enough, but the textures are so completely incompatible that the experience would really suffer.

    • sakamism
      sakamism
      May 13, 2023 at 2:23 am | #

      Actually a perfect analogy, lol

  22. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    May 13, 2023 at 12:10 am | #

    Whoa there Lucy, it doesn’t have to be a double date in order to count as a date for you and Walky. Also, since Sal is in the rink and not sitting/standing with you 3 then it hardly counts as a date for her. She isn’t spending time with Danny; Danny is encouraging her from the sidelines and trying to support her as a good boyfriend. Just because you have some crazy 3 date rule for fucking doesn’t mean you have to force someone else to acknowledge your date.

    Also, I have never understood the idea that anal somehow doesn’t count as actual sex. Can someone explain/defend why anal doesn’t count?

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      May 13, 2023 at 12:11 am | #

      It’s the sex God can’t see.

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        May 13, 2023 at 12:14 am | #

        But didn’t God show Moses his hind parts?

        • BarerMender
          BarerMender
          May 13, 2023 at 12:49 am | #

          That’s more Bible than I know.

          • Slartibeast Button, BIA
            Slartibeast Button, BIA
            May 13, 2023 at 10:49 am | #

            Exodus 33:17-23

            • BarerMender
              BarerMender
              May 13, 2023 at 1:33 pm | #

              God was a perv, wasn’t he? Reminds me of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who would go into an alley, drop his breeches, and hope a woman would come along and spank him.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      May 13, 2023 at 12:15 am | #

      I could see the “logic” somehow being from the idea that sex is really for procreation… so if you can’t procreate that way, it’s not really sex. And that the hymen determines virginity (look, we all know this is bullshit), so if a dick doesn’t break your hymen, you’re still a virgin, therefore you haven’t had sex.

    • Derek
      Derek
      May 13, 2023 at 12:15 am | #

      Anal doesn’t count because only sex that can possibly result in a pregnancy is real. Yes, this “loophole” has been used by queer people in the past to say that they’re still virgins

      • Angel
        Angel
        May 13, 2023 at 12:27 am | #

        its def a silly concept but ppl consider losing virginity when you’re penetrated as a girl with your ‘hymen’ being stretched out/broken tho that can happen earlier in life from other activities

        (though, even if lucy and walky were both ok with it, i’d think lucy wouldn’t want anal unless you somehow get lucky on it feeling good for women the first time/can reach ur g spot from there like men can but it’d be quite unlikely)

        • Derek
          Derek
          May 13, 2023 at 2:45 am | #

          I mean, virginity is a made up concept either way and what counts as losing your virginity varies across cultures. The “you can keep track of virginity by the breakage of the hymen” is but ONE cultural conception of virginity.

          • BarerMender
            BarerMender
            May 13, 2023 at 1:36 pm | #

            To put a finer point on it (too fine?) virginity was made up by men to control women.

      • Axel
        Axel
        May 13, 2023 at 2:40 am | #

        also just, sex ed for other readers- you can get pregnant from anal (if fluids end up getting near the vulva, which can be hard to avoid, especially if you’re using the “it can’t get you pregnant” logic and therefor don’t use a condom)

        • Derek
          Derek
          May 13, 2023 at 2:53 am | #

          Bro not to harsh on your tidbit here, but it’s incredibly unlikely to get pregnant from getting semen near or on the vulva during anal sex. The sperm would have to travel into the vagina and then through it for insemination to happen. There’s a lot of bizarre luck and very specific chances that would have to present themselves for the sperm to even have a chance.

          I’m not saying it’s impossible! It’s definitely a higher than zero chance. It’s just….highly unlikely.

          Young people trying out anal sex for the first time should worry more about STDs and injuries from lack of appropriate lubrication.

          The way I would word it for sex ed: anal sex is not a good substitute for condoms or contraception because despite lowering the chances for pregnancy, it increases your chances of injury and getting an STI. To have unprotected anal sex is still a high risk activity

          • Axel
            Axel
            May 13, 2023 at 8:08 am | #

            Yes, this is a better way of putting it. In my defense, I was coming at it from a ‘please use condoms* even if at a glance it seems like it couldn’t get you pregnant’ standpoint

            *or other birth control if that’s the main concern, but for the reasons you already outlined, condoms emphasized)

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 13, 2023 at 12:23 am | #

      Walky and Lucy may be thinking of different definitions for rail.

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        May 13, 2023 at 1:00 am | #

        or I more likely I just read the flow of the conversation wrong

    • Angel
      Angel
      May 13, 2023 at 12:25 am | #

      given how they apparently hung out off screen (same as we were before, but “more handholding” at Taco bell), surprised she didn’t retroactively consider one of their first one on one hangouts a ‘date’

      or their ‘movie night’

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      May 13, 2023 at 12:34 am | #

      Because a vagina and/or hymen isn’t involved, and there’s no chance of pregnancy.

  23. BarerMender
    BarerMender
    May 13, 2023 at 12:10 am | #

    Danny: Your hoops are your problem. Now get off before I punch you in the liver.

  24. cbwroses
    cbwroses
    May 13, 2023 at 12:10 am | #

    How is Lucy suddenly taller than Walky and looming over Danny at the same time?
    Did she take ballet and is standing on max tiptoe right now?
    Did horniness make her have a sudden growth spurt?
    Did she get a transfusion of gamma irradiated blood from her superhero cousin?

    • Some1
      Some1
      May 13, 2023 at 12:14 am | #

      She’s grabbing onto Danny and hosting herself up. If her legs were still on the ground they would be bending backwards.

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        May 13, 2023 at 12:19 am | #

        She has her ankles wrapped around Walky’s knees. It’s a move in the right direction.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      May 13, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

      Clearly she’s secretly training to become Amazi-Girl II!

      …jokes aside, I think it would be really interesting to see how AmbG would react to someone else taking up the name like that in this universe, where Amazi-Girl is a distinct entity separate from Amber in their brain, rather than just a costume Amber sometimes puts on to whack people with a corn popper.

      • Some1
        Some1
        May 13, 2023 at 12:25 am | #

        Alternatively what if Amazi-Girl’s exploits inspired someone to take on the role of supervillain?

        • RassilonTDavros
          RassilonTDavros
          May 13, 2023 at 12:40 am | #

          I think the kidnapping plot pretty much already covered that ground.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      May 13, 2023 at 1:40 pm | #

      She has Danny bent over backwards. Resting on his hands, I believe.

      • cbwroses
        cbwroses
        May 13, 2023 at 3:47 pm | #

        But she still shouldn’t be taller than Walky with Danny now so far backwards that he’s shorter than Walky.

  25. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    May 13, 2023 at 12:11 am | #

    Wait what

    I thought Walky liked butts

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 13, 2023 at 12:15 am | #

      Butts are for fondling, or for admiring so they doesn’t know you’re ogling them.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      May 13, 2023 at 12:18 am | #

      You can like butts without being into anal, trust me.

      • Kyrik Michalowski
        Kyrik Michalowski
        May 13, 2023 at 12:21 am | #

        This ^

        Also I accidentally flagged you, sorry.

      • milu
        milu
        May 13, 2023 at 5:36 am | #

        I mean
        Who doesn’t like butts
        Thinking butts are sexy is probably the single indisputable actual human universal

        • Andy
          Andy
          May 13, 2023 at 11:16 am | #

          Sorry to break your bubble, but butts aren’t universally sexy, very few butts have been attractive to me, but I might just be an outlier, so maybe we can ignore my data point.

          • milu
            milu
            May 13, 2023 at 12:37 pm | #

            no no, your data point is valid and my hypothesis is therefore debunked! thank you for contributing to the butt science. (i was actually being silly) (the very concept of a human universal is a bit of a bugbear of mine actually) (hence the joke) (but also i do like butts) (but also not feeling aroused by butts is a normal and common thing, probably) (also also i was not being particularly cute to ace-spec peeps as Yumi pointed out) (ty yumi) (shutting up now)

        • Yumi
          Yumi
          May 13, 2023 at 11:24 am | #

          Gonna add on that some people just don’t find stuff– sometimes especially body stuff– to be “sexy.” Just bringing this up as I’m currently struggling with being maybe ace, so seeing things I’m not sure I experience as “the single indisputable actual human universal”— while clearly joking in its hyperbole– still doesn’t feel great.

          • milu
            milu
            May 13, 2023 at 12:31 pm | #

            ah, that’s fair. sorry about that and thanks for the reality check! i still suck at ace-inclusivity clearly. =/ gonna work on that.

          • BarerMender
            BarerMender
            May 13, 2023 at 1:45 pm | #

            Yeah, there are all kinds of possibilities. I like the female physique, but even though I swing both ways, I don’t care at all about the male physique.

    • Angel
      Angel
      May 13, 2023 at 12:20 am | #

      i mean, some ppl are into butts aesthetically might not automatically be into anal.

  26. Grimey
    Grimey
    May 13, 2023 at 12:11 am | #

    It was not until this comic that I realized Lucy reminds me of an ex from college. I knew there was a reason I couldn’t warm up to her as a character.

  27. Angel
    Angel
    May 13, 2023 at 12:11 am | #

    lol the thirst. and it still could be a date w/o it being a ‘double’ date lol

  28. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    May 13, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

    It’s like they’re demanding he jump on the bed while they soak.

    • Vanessa
      Vanessa
      May 13, 2023 at 12:36 am | #

      The weird fundamentalist Christian antics are way too unbelievable for a comic. Amazing how people will twist themselves up into knots.

  29. Cmasta1992
    Cmasta1992
    May 13, 2023 at 12:13 am | #

    Anyone else get weirdly hot for Last Panel Lucy?

    Just me?

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      May 13, 2023 at 12:19 am | #

      If we read into Danny’s lip-bite, it’s not just you. In any case, Lucy’s a real cutey, so I get it.

      • Angel
        Angel
        May 13, 2023 at 12:22 am | #

        seemed more like fear to me then again even in comic/drawn art form , i always thought the ‘lip bite as sexual’ portrayal a bit odd, maybe because i never like biting my lip accidentally or purposefully /feels like it’d look sillier irl lol

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 13, 2023 at 2:06 am | #

      Naw. But I am Normally hot for last panel Lucy. Nothing hotter to me than a girl who really wants to consensually have sex at someone.

      • milu
        milu
        May 13, 2023 at 6:30 am | #

        And is prepared to throttle anyone who’ll stand in her way.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 13, 2023 at 2:28 pm | #

        Having consensual sex at people seems more Malaya’s speed, considering her and Joe’s hookup.

  30. Dana
    Dana
    May 13, 2023 at 12:13 am | #

    Little does Lucy know, Danny is Dan’s legal name.

  31. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    May 13, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

    Do Dan and Sal have to sign her card or something, so she is authorized to get boned?

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      May 13, 2023 at 12:20 am | #

      It’s a punch card. Three dates and you can fuck, five dates and you get a free sandwich.

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        May 13, 2023 at 12:21 am | #

        Don’t you need a third person for a sandwich?

        • cbwroses
          cbwroses
          May 13, 2023 at 12:50 am | #

          I think a big teddy bear with a strap on would do in a pinch.

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        May 13, 2023 at 1:52 pm | #

        Today’s best post.

    • Bo
      Bo
      May 13, 2023 at 1:04 am | #

      permission slip from god

      • Bo
        Bo
        May 13, 2023 at 1:08 am | #

        also:

        Him: “I consent :)”

        Her: “I consent :)”

        [ Aren’t you FORGETTING someone…? ]

        *Danny, looking up from his phone*: “No…”

        • HueSatLight
          HueSatLight
          May 13, 2023 at 1:34 am | #

          lolirl

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 13, 2023 at 2:06 am | #

          HAhaha

        • milu
          milu
          May 13, 2023 at 6:29 am | #

          Excellent 👌

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          May 13, 2023 at 10:54 am | #

          See the sex contract negotiations from “Cherry 2000.”

  32. Throwatron
    Throwatron
    May 13, 2023 at 12:20 am | #

    okay i now love lucy, you go girl

  33. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    May 13, 2023 at 12:22 am | #

    Wait, what? I don’t pay attention for a half sec and suddenly Walky has opinions on anal? I did not expect that from him.

  34. Drain
    Drain
    May 13, 2023 at 12:22 am | #

    In another time…

  35. Derek
    Derek
    May 13, 2023 at 12:30 am | #

    I wonder if Lucy realizes that “the third date rule” might be culturally Christian, but has nothing to do with actual dogma. (the last panel makes me think she does)
    In fact this rule is borne straight out from slut-shaming: any girl that puts out on the first date is a slut but if she doesn’t by the third she’s a cold fish. It comes from an era when women’s sexuality was so repressed people claimed it didn’t exist. It was a time when “good girls” were supposed to always say no sex, even if they wanted it. It’s the era that gave us the song “Baby it’s cold outside” and its subtext, nearly incomprehensible to modern people.

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      May 13, 2023 at 12:32 am | #

      The last panel is weird for me because it speaks to a higher level of self-awareness we’ve not yet seen from Lucy, and I can’t be quite sure that it exists for anything other than comedy.

      • Axel
        Axel
        May 13, 2023 at 12:45 am | #

        The one thing keeping it more real for me is that she mentioned it to Sal and Sal called her out on being a “third-date puritan” or something like that, so that may have made Lucy a little more cognizant of it?

      • Mark
        Mark
        May 13, 2023 at 8:18 am | #

        Yeah, it felt like she was stepping (vaulting?) out of character.

    • cbwroses
      cbwroses
      May 13, 2023 at 12:49 am | #

      Well, a woman who kisses on the very first date is usually a hussy.
      And a woman who waits for the second time out is anything, but fussy.
      But the woman who waits til the third time around, head in the clouds, feet on the ground, she’s the one you’re glad you’ve found; she’s your shapoopie.

      Or so that one song from that one musical I don’t know anything else about says.
      Maybe Lucy’s a fan.

      • Bo
        Bo
        May 13, 2023 at 12:59 am | #

        she cant his shapoopie, he already established no butt stuff!

      • Bryy
        Bryy
        May 13, 2023 at 1:12 am | #

        I’m just so happy right now.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 13, 2023 at 2:05 am | #

        I hear that girl is hard to get. But if you play your cards right you might win her yet.

  36. Kim
    Kim
    May 13, 2023 at 12:38 am | #

    There are so many christians in this comic. Goddamn.

    • KM
      KM
      May 13, 2023 at 12:53 am | #

      …I dunno, from my knowledge of Midwestern demographics that seems about right?

      I mean I’m not American and my country as a whole is not majority Christian by any means, but in my particular region/class? The ratio is higher than one might think.

    • Nono
      Nono
      May 13, 2023 at 1:03 am | #

      The only devout ones are Lucy and Becky? Joyce is a former one. Otherwise the ‘yeah, we’re Christian I guess’ are Jennifer and Danny?

      • KM
        KM
        May 13, 2023 at 1:09 am | #

        Main cast only? If we look at the supporting cast…
        Well there’s Sierra who is still churchgoing, Jacob is Episcopal, Mary is a walking holier than thou fundie archetype, I forgot the name of the Mormon girl.. ah, Agatha.

        I think if you want to have at least one of every variety of Christian one might reasonably encounter as a named character it seems quite reasonable.

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          May 13, 2023 at 10:56 am | #

          What do you get when you collect the whole set?

          [/old_Joe]

    • Amós Batista
      Amós Batista
      May 13, 2023 at 5:23 am | #

      DoA is so much realistic.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      May 13, 2023 at 8:25 am | #

      Yeah there’s quite a lot of them in real life too

  37. Axel
    Axel
    May 13, 2023 at 12:44 am | #

    Curious if they discussed the anal loophole (I can’t imagine they did (I think Lucy would melt in shame and/or excitement), but Lucy’s non-reaction makes it kind of feel like it)

  38. Ty34er
    Ty34er
    May 13, 2023 at 12:52 am | #

    I’ll be honest: didn’t think Walky wouldn’t like anal.

    I just typed those words, what am I dining with my life

  39. Bo
    Bo
    May 13, 2023 at 12:57 am | #

    Danny finds out that there are worse feelings to have than hate! Like

    fear

    • Jay
      Jay
      May 13, 2023 at 4:25 am | #

      Are you sure that’s fear? Fearousal, maybe?

      • Zaxares
        Zaxares
        May 13, 2023 at 6:35 am | #

        The correct term is “scaroused”! 😉

        • J.Gawain
          J.Gawain
          May 13, 2023 at 9:00 am | #

          I like “feared on” myself.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 13, 2023 at 10:57 am | #

      What about ruthless efficiency?

  40. Doopyboop
    Doopyboop
    May 13, 2023 at 1:00 am | #

    It says a lot that my first thought was that Walky didn’t wanna be on the receiving end of anal, rather than the giving end of anal. And then I had the mental image of Lucy with a strap on–

    • Bo
      Bo
      May 13, 2023 at 1:05 am | #

      this is also what i thought was being suggested lol.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 13, 2023 at 2:03 am | #

      There is nothing in the bible that says anything about strap ons.

      • milu
        milu
        May 13, 2023 at 6:27 am | #

        It depends on the translation. Some scholars argue that strap-ons fall under false idols. There’s also a lively debate regarding the “serpent” in genesis.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 13, 2023 at 12:14 pm | #

          Only if you worship the strapon.

          • Bo
            Bo
            May 13, 2023 at 12:24 pm | #

            oh dang ill cross that off my list then

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          May 13, 2023 at 2:26 pm | #

          Maybe they should stop engraving the Virgin Mary on their strap-ons. I know zealots can’t help carving everything into their waifu, and a little extra texture can go a long way with the right recipient, but they’re really just wasting a good dildo.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            May 13, 2023 at 3:30 pm | #

            The irony of someone penetrating someone’s orifices with the virgin mary isn’t lost on me.

            • milu
              milu
              May 13, 2023 at 4:16 pm | #

              There’s a whole blasphemy kink involving a virgin mary dildo in Verhoeven’s recent french nunsploitation romp Benedetta. It’s silly and entertaining

        • Rowen Morland
          Rowen Morland
          May 14, 2023 at 3:14 am | #

          Can’t be using the Temple of Doom strap-on with the sandbag sack.

    • Seregiel
      Seregiel
      May 13, 2023 at 7:53 am | #

      Considering Dorothy and then Amber who we’ve both seen on top before cut aways… I think it was a valid conclusion.

  41. Nono
    Nono
    May 13, 2023 at 1:02 am | #

    Hmm, I can’t decide if I prefer Asher or Joe as the gravatar this cycle. Both have really grown on me lately.

    • Allison Branford
      Allison Branford
      May 13, 2023 at 1:04 am | #

      I miss having Becky as my gravitar, but am too lazy to manually change it. This too shall pass.

      • Delmore Slim
        Delmore Slim
        May 13, 2023 at 1:07 am | #

        I think Amber is perfect for my advice to dan in this moment:

        Choose Violence

  42. OnyxIdol
    OnyxIdol
    May 13, 2023 at 1:07 am | #

    Oh Christianity, never change.

    … actually, do change. A Lot.

  43. bagge
    bagge
    May 13, 2023 at 1:24 am | #

    Lucy, don’t use people as props for your sex life. That’s just rude.

    • Bo
      Bo
      May 13, 2023 at 1:37 am | #

      at least get consent first!

      • bagge
        bagge
        May 13, 2023 at 2:22 am | #

        Fine, at least get consent first. Some people are into that.

        • milu
          milu
          May 13, 2023 at 6:24 am | #

          Danny: i’ll be a prop in my man Joe’s sex life, we’re cool. But you guys? i don’t think so.

    • Archieve
      Archieve
      May 13, 2023 at 4:56 am | #

      It’s also really confusing why she thinks being with a third person makes the date official. Your already there as a couple Lucy, you refusing to just enjoy time with your boyfriend has alot more impact on whether this should count as a date or not.

      • Mark
        Mark
        May 13, 2023 at 8:23 am | #

        I wonder if, having first imagined the event as a double date, she’s just stuck in that image and hasn’t been able to adjust to it not being so.

  44. YordleJay
    YordleJay
    May 13, 2023 at 1:51 am | #

    God.

    I don’t like lucy

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 13, 2023 at 2:02 am | #

      God: Duly noted.

      • milu
        milu
        May 13, 2023 at 6:22 am | #

        God: she’s being super pious right now though so i dont think you’re gonna sway me.

    • Bo
      Bo
      May 13, 2023 at 12:26 pm | #

      God: “shes winning me over im actually invested in this plotline”

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      May 13, 2023 at 2:00 pm | #

      God: Yeah, fuck Lucy. I’m putting her in Purgatory and never letting her out.

    • Justnobodyfqwl
      Justnobodyfqwl
      May 13, 2023 at 8:52 pm | #

      You’re close, but I think the show was called something else actually

  45. Kelli
    Kelli
    May 13, 2023 at 1:53 am | #

    Heh heh heh. Loophole.

  46. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    May 13, 2023 at 2:38 am | #

    I think Lucy’s forgotten the reason they’re actually there. To cheer for Carla.

    • Vukodlak
      Vukodlak
      May 13, 2023 at 3:27 am | #

      No she hasn’t it’s a third date so she have a tall glass of Walky because she’s a thirsty girl.

    • milu
      milu
      May 13, 2023 at 6:21 am | #

      It’s actually really aggravating to Carla that she has to break out the cardboard sign yet again and that shit is not aerodynamic, for fuck’s sake.

    • Bo
      Bo
      May 13, 2023 at 12:27 pm | #

      Carla: everytime im not on-screen people should be asking “Where’s Carla??

  47. foducool
    foducool
    May 13, 2023 at 2:40 am | #

    thirsty christian girls are scary lmao

  48. StClair
    StClair
    May 13, 2023 at 3:08 am | #

    “You see this face? This is the face of a woman on the edge.”

  49. BOOSTER SHOT
    BOOSTER SHOT
    May 13, 2023 at 3:33 am | #

    We do

  50. Mikey
    Mikey
    May 13, 2023 at 3:55 am | #

    … Sooo… over/under on Sal seeing this interaction? It’s either that or Danny using this fuel for Sal.

    … Or Sal DOES see and that adds more fuel to said fire for him.

  51. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    May 13, 2023 at 4:22 am | #

    I think she wants something…

  52. VinzKlortho
    VinzKlortho
    May 13, 2023 at 4:28 am | #

    This is some yin-yang shit, lol. “Want to smash but can’t because of Rules” vs. “Can smash but don’t feel like it yet”

  53. Archieve
    Archieve
    May 13, 2023 at 4:49 am | #

    Lucy, 1. you and Walky going out as a couple already counts as a date, you don’t need witnesses 2. Walky I think you know this, stop encouraging this false narrative. 3. Both of you, stop trying to get people who dont even like you involved with your sex lives. Really feels like Walky is stalling for time before he has to tell Lucy yes or no.

  54. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    May 13, 2023 at 5:22 am | #

    I, as a post-christian, I never, in my life, listened about this “third-date-rule”.
    If it is a true thing, I believe it’s much better than these “I choose to wait” thing (I don’t know if there’s a celibacy enforcement in USA christian youth, here in South America it’s very string).

    Anyway: I’m starting to love Lucy. Since today. hahaha

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 13, 2023 at 1:28 pm | #

      The amount of celibacy enforcement in the US goes up and down. Ironically, and maybe predictably, it backfires. When celibacy is pushed more, teens are more likely to have sex earlier and less safe.

      The third date rule is a general guideline, for a certain type of relationship, I guess. Not the “college friends who hang out and decide to become a couple” type of relationship, though.

      I really wanted to say the phrase “platonic ideal”, because it can apply to her understanding of dating, and because of the pun, but that would take too many paragraphs to do it well.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        May 13, 2023 at 3:36 pm | #

        Up and down and very different in different sub-cultures.

        I’ve very definitely heard of a “no sex on the first date” rule, though as you suggest that’s more for dates where you’re getting to know the person rather than longer term friends turning into a couple.

  55. Ash
    Ash
    May 13, 2023 at 5:24 am | #

    I hope Danny cockblocks them.

  56. milu
    milu
    May 13, 2023 at 6:16 am | #

    Danny: “what do you what the what”
    Lucy: “just say… the… words, Daniel”
    Danny, sobbing now: “what words i’m so confused please don’t hurt me”
    Lucy: “just say this counts as a double date, and this can all be over, Daniel”
    Danny: “if i say this is a double date.. You’ll let me go…?”
    Lucy: “didn’t i make myself clear?” *pushes Danny further over the guardrail. Skaters are whizzing by inches from his head.* “Say. It. Now.”
    Danny: “Walky! Buddy. Brother. Please!”
    Walky: “Sorry man. You brought this on yourself.”
    Lucy: “crying like a latin american drum won’t do you no good, Daniel. Remember where we are. Everyone is yelling. No one can hear you whimpering. Now, I’m gonna need you to make an honest christian woman out of me if it’s the last thing you ever do. I’m gonna count to three now…”
    Danny’s hat is slowly slipping off his scalp.
    Danny: “No… NO!… NOOOOOOOOO”

    • cbwroses
      cbwroses
      May 13, 2023 at 8:01 am | #

      Not the hat!

    • Bo
      Bo
      May 13, 2023 at 12:29 pm | #

      i just realized the subtle pun of this comic is that theyre at a skate rink

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        May 13, 2023 at 2:08 pm | #

        Skate……. rink……… It must be too subtle for me.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 13, 2023 at 2:22 pm | #

        Is that a pun? I think that’s just the name of that structure.

        • Bo
          Bo
          May 13, 2023 at 11:43 pm | #

          i meant the fact about ‘rails’ and ‘railing’ but it might be a Nothing

  57. JBento
    JBento
    May 13, 2023 at 6:32 am | #

    And then Danny punched Lucy in the face.

    • Seregiel
      Seregiel
      May 13, 2023 at 7:50 am | #

      Man, I would. Don’t TOUCH me.

  58. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    May 13, 2023 at 6:54 am | #

    My estimation of Lucy has just increased 100x.

    Get (jumping through those pretend, self-placed hoops and justify railing by) that D, girl!

  59. Yeet
    Yeet
    May 13, 2023 at 6:57 am | #

    Giving someone who’s made it clear they don’t like the opportunity to cockblock you isn’t very smart, but I’m really hoping Danny seizes it fully.

  60. AGV
    AGV
    May 13, 2023 at 7:28 am | #

    Glad to know that Lucy is self aware 😂

    • Adept
      Adept
      May 13, 2023 at 1:56 pm | #

      It kind of makes it worse. Just take the next step and free your mind, young lady.

  61. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    May 13, 2023 at 7:32 am | #

    That’s a “you” problem, Lucy.

  62. Roam85
    Roam85
    May 13, 2023 at 7:40 am | #

    She is outright saying railed. Walky, it was a fun date, take her home.

  63. Aslan
    Aslan
    May 13, 2023 at 7:50 am | #

    The chances of Lucy and Walky breaking up have skyrocketed, I fear (if for no other reason than narrative irony)

  64. AGV
    AGV
    May 13, 2023 at 7:54 am | #

    Also, here’s a fun fact that’s only tangentially related to this strip: when whales mate several males congregate around a female and compete with eachother to impregnate the female. The thing is that doing it with no arms or legs while floating is pretty difficult, so often the males take turns to act as a mattress so that they can have sex to begin with.

    Tl;dr: something something third wheeling

    • Rogue 7
      Rogue 7
      May 13, 2023 at 9:16 am | #

      Third whaling, surely.

      • Bo
        Bo
        May 13, 2023 at 12:28 pm | #

        third railing

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          May 13, 2023 at 2:12 pm | #

          No, that’s something else and very dangerous to even touch.

  65. goggleman64
    goggleman64
    May 13, 2023 at 7:58 am | #

    I love that Lucy going off the deep end is complemented by her leaning at an impossible angle, like her repressed horny is bending reality as it finally surfaces

    • Bo
      Bo
      May 13, 2023 at 12:30 pm | #

      Lucy- “my power:incredible. my horniness: boundless potential.”

  66. WizardPantaloon
    WizardPantaloon
    May 13, 2023 at 8:00 am | #

    I can’t stand Lucy and Walky as a couple for another goddamn second.

    • Bo
      Bo
      May 13, 2023 at 12:30 pm | #

      but could you stand them for a *couple* seconds?

      *a series of rimshots as I pour out a bucket of drumsticks onto a drumset*

  67. Booster97
    Booster97
    May 13, 2023 at 9:04 am | #

    That.. is a lot of spoilers for the upcoming slipshine, Walky. 😂

  68. Coco
    Coco
    May 13, 2023 at 9:18 am | #

    Ok first, I gather that Lucy is a different kind of Christian Joyce was. Secondly, if she is so dead set on this being a date, they could have just avoided Danny. They’re on a date alright!

  69. vulcanodon
    vulcanodon
    May 13, 2023 at 1:08 pm | #

    There are sex-positive strains of Christianity, Lucy…

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      May 13, 2023 at 2:15 pm | #

      Right, UU’s even have a sex-ed curriculum for all ages from toddlers through geriatrics. The name of the course is Our Whole Lives (OWL).

  70. Sombrero
    Sombrero
    May 13, 2023 at 1:08 pm | #

    I hope Panel 4 is more than just the punchline and Walky is really OK about sex with Lucy.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 13, 2023 at 7:44 pm | #

      [pulls out the cork board with a billion conspiracy theory threads]
      I bet Walky was antagonizing Danny to ensure he would cockblock them because he’s still not sure how to the situation he’s found himself in.

  71. Adept
    Adept
    May 13, 2023 at 1:55 pm | #

    Too real >.<

    • Adept
      Adept
      May 13, 2023 at 1:55 pm | #

      And too bizarre for a liberal minded Nordic boy like myself

  72. Taffy
    Taffy
    May 13, 2023 at 2:32 pm | #

    The real trouble with all the self-placed hoops is, fifth-gem console platforming mascots (and Superman) keep flying through them for collectables. And then when you leave the zone and come back to reload them, another mascot just swoops in thinking it’s their turn.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      May 13, 2023 at 4:52 pm | #

      I’m lost on the platforming mascot, it’s not Sonic, is it?

  73. John
    John
    May 13, 2023 at 3:26 pm | #

    Lucy is starting to grow a bit annoying.

  74. JepMZ
    JepMZ
    May 13, 2023 at 3:44 pm | #

    I was JUST contemplating if I should watch the F my ass because I love Jesus music video yesterday lmao. Now I have to

  75. Rocketboy1313
    Rocketboy1313
    May 13, 2023 at 4:52 pm | #

    Careful Lucy, Danny might get super turned on with that level of aggression.

  76. Ravendude
    Ravendude
    May 13, 2023 at 5:33 pm | #

    I can just HEAR her speaking in a menacing LOW pitched voice.

  77. Raen
    Raen
    May 13, 2023 at 9:35 pm | #

    Things might’ve changed since the oughts, but as I recall back then for undergrads “dates” weren’t really a thing. “Dating” just meant “banging,” or at least snuggling.

    • Raen
      Raen
      May 14, 2023 at 12:27 am | #

      …um, pretty sure I meant to post this yesterday.

      • Raen
        Raen
        May 14, 2023 at 12:29 am | #

        (Actually I seem to have posted this yesterday? Why is it under today’s strip?)

  78. JA
    JA
    May 14, 2023 at 12:00 am | #

    Is this the first time Danny’s been referred to by ‘Daniel’ in this comic?

  79. Raen
    Raen
    May 14, 2023 at 12:26 am | #

    Jesus, Lucy, so to speak. Fuck the boy.

  80. Jim the Fish
    Jim the Fish
    May 14, 2023 at 4:14 pm | #

    Dumbing of Age book whichever: I do not grant this social interaction the rank of date

  81. Joy
    Joy
    May 16, 2023 at 6:12 pm | #

    This really reminds me of a few of the many, many reasons why I don’t feel safe around most christians.

CHOOSE A SIDE, NO COWARDS

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Tricerahoodie Dina Plushie
Dina is so small and quiet that she goes completely unnoticed by most people for long stretches of time. She doesn’t talk much — she prefers to observe. People and how they interact is a puzzle to Din...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
I think you mean the Slug-Maker
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
today in #9chickweedlane i guess we're memory-holing again that 1997 story where amos and edda kissed for the first time after she, uh, got shot at school
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
this has real "leia comforting luke for losing a guy he just met after her planet got exploded" energy
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
Dumbing of Age: "Locate" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Locate
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
butts disease
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soundmirrors.bsky.social's user avatar
Unnatural Selections @soundmirrors.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
It’s been awhile since I’ve more seriously read up on Ugaritic and Canaanite religions (alas, w/semi dated scholarship), but this is interesting, and not in a peaceful matriarchal fantasy kind of way.
theradr.bsky.social's user avatarRabbi Danya Ruttenberg @theradr.bsky.social ⋅ 20d
If you do a close read not only of the Bible but the archeology, it starts to look like the Israelites, & all but a couple of Judean kings, worshipped a goddess for pretty much the whole First Temple era. The implications of this are... far ranging-- & her name might not be what we've believed.
header image - Israelite Goddess Mystery Quest
www.lifeisasacredtext.com
Israelite Goddess Mystery Quest
smashing pillars / tracing echoes
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Have some sticker ideas for Toyhax
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
fellas, is hasbro trying to make toys for children again
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Erase Soundwave's mouth! Recolor him light blue! ...don't correct Ratbat's miscolored face in the next panel
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
So, I put my mind to it and retaught myself 3D modeling.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
who wore it better
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Pervasively" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Pervasively
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indigo-k.com's user avatar
-indy ✨ (he/him) @indigo-k.com ⋅ 2d
WIP: Taking a break for dinner, and then back to finish this later tonight:
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gwensnyder.bsky.social's user avatar
Gwen Snyder is uncivil @gwensnyder.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
I will say for the umpteenth time that the Democratic establishment is terrible at understanding enthusiasm math. An energized base is crucial to winning fights-- electoral and otherwise-- because they will drag the low info folks out to vote and protest and engage. You NEED that energy.
gwensnyder.bsky.social's user avatarGwen Snyder is uncivil @gwensnyder.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
It's not just that he and his policies are unpopular, there's a clear and demonstrated enthusiasm differential now. His base is energetically absent, ours is livid and out in the streets.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social's user avatar
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Pretty good Spider-Man figure, I don’t care what they say.
Spider-Man doing that thing you expect. It’s the butt thing. Why have I done this to myself? Is this my life? Yes.
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zaratustra.bsky.social's user avatar
zaratustra @zaratustra.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social adjacent to your interests
adashtra.bsky.social's user avatarAsh Parrish @adashtra.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Turns out the guy was Chuck Ayers, a nationally recognized cartoonist and creator of Crankshaft. He had a lot to say but the thing that struck me was that when he talked about whats going on now, I could see he was holding back emotion. All this still hurts him to see 55 (!!) years later.
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katiestp.bsky.social's user avatar
Katie @katiestp.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Right now, these sweet kids have no clue how impactful this period in history will be for them, but I hope they will be proud of the time they made the best protest sign ever: The green one that says “Trump eats boogers” #NoKings
Kids and adults standing on a pedestrian bridge over the highway with protest signs that say fascists out and no Trump no ice. The best one is green and says Trump eats boogers.
katiestp.bsky.social's user avatarKatie @katiestp.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
We can’t make the actual event at the capitol today, so you’ll find us with the kids on University with our signs (and I might bring the megaphone too). Even if you can’t make it to the capitol - come out in your own neighborhoods, even if it’s for a few minutes. Be seen. Be heard. #nokings
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anguirus.bsky.social's user avatar
Anguirus @anguirus.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
rude of you to call me out like this @damnyouwillis.bsky.social
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.ebay.com/itm/23614371... five hours left on this weirdo in the box weirdo not in the box is not for sale
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charliejane.bsky.social's user avatar
Charlie Jane "Lessons in Magic and Disaster" Anders 🏳️‍⚧ @charliejane.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
At Comic-Con 2009 I was getting misgendered a fair bit and feeling anxious AF about it. Robert Downey Jr. was doing a press conf for Sherlock Holmes. I wanted to shout out a question but hated drawing attn to myself. I did it anyway. He gestured at me: "the lady in the blue shirt." I was so happy.
bolt451.bsky.social's user avatarHunter S Schafer @bolt451.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
dawn these are not the same things you had an abusive boyfriend wilbur had a live-in sex stranger who he chose over your safety because he was getting laid, until the moment something almost happened to HIS GOLDFISH
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "Counter-protest" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Counter-protest
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