So First Church of Awesome?
I dunno how awesome it can be if Mary likes it, assuming DOAMary is anything like Roomies/IW!Mary.
What? That’s dumb.
Figuring Roomies/IW! Mary was a predatory monster of the non-violent variety, I’d say it’s safe to DoA Mary isn’t….If only because she clearly isn’t in ‘Church Chat with the Church Lady’ mode all the time…
safe to DoA Mary = safe to say DoA Mary
Sorry. Did it again.
A lot of churches have electric guitars and drums nowadays.
Not if you’re Catholic, they don’t.
Thank possibly fictional mythological entity for that.
Seriously, I went to one of those new fangled hip services designed to lure in us youngsters. It didn’t feel churchy enough damn it. Sit, stand, kneel, stand, sit, etc. I don’t need your faux rock invading my mass. If it wasn’t an hour out of my way I’d go to the one diocese that actually does latin masses still in the area.
Hells yes, I wholeheartedly agree.
Well, not electric guitars,but mine has drums.
Sounds like my church
Atta girl. Jesus loves a good bass.
I always imagines Jesus on keytar, myself.
I like to think of Jesus like, with giant eagle’s wings and singin’ lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Nah. He raps. You know, Real Sin Savior and what not.
You’re my new favorite person.
Jesus in concert:”For my next song I thought I’d send out a little Depeche Mode for you all, so here’s a song I like to call ‘Personal ME!’”
I love you.
Meatloaves and fishes?
Singing his greatest hit, “I want you to get off the Highway to Hell”.
That was glorious leorale.
JC and the Sunshine Band?
Weird. Didn’t I say she should choose the one with the best music?
So is their God Clapton, or Hendrix?
It’s a Norse congregation. The First Church of Yngwie.
No true Norseman goes to the church of Yngwie, only to the True Faith of Amon Amarth.
Do they play Creed?
Not unless it is a demonic church.
Oh dear, not Mary. *Sigh*
Wow, I just got the symbolism behind her first storyline way back when… I’m a little slow apparently.
Wait she stood for something back in the older comics? I only read through them once so I guess I didnt see it. What was it? I would really like to know.
At least she’s wearing clothes this time.
Yeah, yesterday I was like “ugh church in the morning” but now I’d give that one a shot.
Ironically, that would push me away. For some reason, I prefer a more traditional service.
Good thing there are lots of places to pray, then
I hope it’s a snake handleing church.
Mary’s description sounds like it could be Pentecostal, so maybe…
Only a really small percentage of Pentacostal churches handle snakes so probably not.
It isn’t even a percentage. That is like saying, “a small
percentage of people kick puppies in the face.”
I mean sure, SOME people might do it, but not enough to make a stat out of it.
This sounds like it could be something like Hillsong Church.
Heh… That’s exactly what I was thinking.
the church down the street from me has drums and an elec guitar, depending on the songs they choose it doesn’t always end as well as youd think
Really? I thought you could take lots of rock songs and change “Baby” to “Jesus” to create lots of good ones.
“Hit me Jesus one more time”
*shakes my tiny fist*
What, no rattle or roll?
“All That She Wants is Another Jesus”
“Jesus, it’s Cold Outside”
I kinda like that last one, actually.
Jesus Come Back
Jesus Did A Bad Bad Thing
Everybody’s Trying To Be My Jesus
Ice Ice Jesus
I’m Gonna Love You Just A Little More Jesus
What no Justin Bieber? Jesus, Jesus, Jesus?
I wouldn’t know a Justin Bieber song even if it hit me in the FAAAAACE!
With his penis?
For a nickel (average worth of a Justin Bieber disk, materials included)
I think you overestimate the value of a Justin Beiber CD by about 20 cents…
Jesus Got Back
Jesus I’m Gonna Leave You
Jesus I Need Your Lovin’
Jesus Please Don’t Go
Everybody’s Trying to Be My Jesus
Hit Me Jesus One More Time
…I could go on, but I think that’s good for now
Personal Jesus… oh wait…
Jesus You’re A Rich Man
Hard rock Hallelujah.
Works really well with Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach”, or Britney Spears’s “Hit Me, Jesus, One More Time”.
Or “Jesus Got Back”.
Bad brain. Stop trying to rewrite “SexyBack” with crucifixion references.
Actually, if we’re using Madonna songs, “Like a Prayer” probably wouldn’t even need much editing…
I’ll be Your Jesus Tonight
Your Bright Jesus Blues
Come On Jesus Let’s Go Downtown Tonight
She’s My Jesus
Jesus’s Liquored Up
I feel so proud of all of your awesome baby-to-Jesus songs!
Do me Jesus, do me all night long.
Mamma, Don’t Let Jesus Grow Up To Be A Cowboy.
Yeah, drums and electric guitar don’t always = awesome. It could end up sounding like this- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NOZU2iPA8 …which is pretty funny but I not what I’d consider awesome. YMMV.
Can’t argue with that.
Maybe if religion RAWKED more, I’d have one.
Any excuse I can get to actually wear my “Jesus is F’ing Metal” shirt in public…
Why haven’t you?
I was going to ask why it’s only women heading church-ward when I remember that’s a dorm. Guess I have never been separated from the other gender by an entire floor in my life o_O
I went to a church for a while in the year after college that had a rock band as its worship team, my ex’s little brother played guitar. The church catered mostly to the younger crowd. It wasn’t as cool as you might think, but they gave out free breakfast and I was poor.
Ooh, next week they could go to Hillel! Joyce has mentioned a fondness for kosher eye-candy, plus she wouldn’t have to get embarrassed because we’d interrupt her way sooner.
+1, Alice Macher likes this, etc.
Dunno about Indiana, but that describes basically every church in Austin.
And guitars make a good church? Not that churchs are good or bad, its the people in them that…nm, getting sidetracked.
Still thinking about churches being chosen by little miss traditional because of the music, some how that strikes a wrong chord. It shouldn’t but it does.
Little Miss Traditional is also easily impressed by motorcycles. It’s not that much of a step from there to drums and guitars.
(Pun not intended) or was it?
Joyce has demonstrated a tendency to be …distracted… by certain things that seem cool to her. (Vroom! Vrrroom! Varrrooom!)
To those about to worship, we salute you.
You’ve got to fight! For your right! To prrrrr-aaaay!
IIIIII wanna kneel and pray all night
And worship every day!
Just take them old bibles off the shelf!
Do my devotionals by myself
I think about the prophets of the days of old
And my Jesus-filled rock and roll
I may be an atheist, but I approve of this thread
Just talkin’ ’bout my…congregation.
Kneel in the place where you pray
Think about religion, wonder why we have it now…
just a small town girl, born and raised in south detroit,
she’ll take the rock and roll church, it goes on and on
and on and on…
Jesuuuuuuuuus in the chuurrrerrrch
God up in the sky!
You win the Internets.
That was to Ryune for zir Bob Seger religious parody.
You know Joyce, you can date multiple churches before settling down with the right one.
… although given your first date = MARRIAGE mentality maybe I’m not so surprised.
“Date” a church?
What is this, are churches inanimate objects now? Are they…are they…
OH MY GOD CHURCHES ARE YIVO.
Churches are people, my friend!
Churches are made of people? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Churches are made of people. huh.
Here is the church
Here is the steeple.
Open it up and–
OH GOD CALL 911!!!
Here’s the church… here’s the people… open the door and– OH MY GOD!!! THE PEOPLE LOOK LIKE FINGERS!!!
And somehow, I totally missed Spazman’s comment directly above mine…
Made of people? Do the Tzimisce have a temple in Bloomington? And would it be open on Sunday morning even if they did?
And yes, I do feel ashamed of being too weak to resist making a World of Darkness reference.
In this case, is Soylent Green a church?
Not quite, churches are made out of soylent green.
Just a goofy term that a few I’ve been to used to describe people who were looking for the right church and had attended a few times but were not committing with membership or regular attendance or tithing.
You know, like you’d go on a few dates with a person before you commit with exclusivity, sex or marriage.
But a person should uphold some personals standards and not go having communion on any old church on the first date.
Annnd Joyce’s annoyance level just went up ANOTHER notch. And yet I still like her…
Is that a church or a concert?
Some churches (like Hillsong) feel more like going to a concert, but until we see it in the next few comics, whose to say what this church will be like.
There was a church near where I used to live had drums and electric guitars… Though it turned out they were some kinda pothead “music cult” and they got busted for drugs, theft, and public hanky-panky.
Best. Church. Ever.
Like, woah man, don’t you remember? The apostles and their followers shared everything . Dude, if the church is the bride of Christ anyway, then why not share a bed?
Scum of the Earth Church, anyone? Five Iron Frenzy? Anyone?
Okay…I’ll just slink back into my late-90s hole then…
HELL YES FIVE IRON FRENZY!
On a different note, I actually prefer tradional services. If I wanna see a rock show. I will probably buy a concert ticket for a band I like, not watch random strangers. Gimme some hymns.
Just whose pants are these anyway?
I remember Five Iron Frenzy! They were the future of rock in 1995.
Awesome quote, dude! I bought the shirt at their final concert in Denver that sported that on the back!!! Unfortunately, I have worn it to near shreds since
My sister goes to a church like that, and I went with her to one service. The first half was basically a rock concert (the band was awesome actually), while the sermon included a story about how the pastor supposedly cured a poor Mexican woman’s blindness. The congregation stared blankly as the story was being told. One should think that this story would have elicited some response: tears of joy, suspicion, spontaneous “THANK YOU JESUS” in the aisles, or at least smiling and nodding…But no.
Blech. Rock music does NOT make everything awesome.
You see, they’ve heard that story a million times now.
So, this is a church that has electric guitars and drums. Word of God is that Mike plays bass.
I am intrigued to see where this goes.
Well if Mike gets plastered every Saturday night, him playing in a church band on Sunday morning wouldn’t be out of character
Mike plays drums! Joe plays bass.
Ack! I got mixed up.
Does Joe play bass with his penis? Murderface proved it can be done!
And Who’s on stage?
Convictions, Joyce has them.
And if this church has drums and electric guitars and stuff, then it must be one of those gaudy and hilarious megachurches.
Convictions, Sal also has them.
I see what you did there, and I approve.
Sounds like my kind of church
I hope this church will be mellow and profitable…
The whole concept of college students coming together like that to go to church sounds completely alien to my European ears.
Its pretty alien to most english speaking people, Americans included (And maybe Canadians but I cant be sure).
My bad, I miss read for England (read it too fast). Than I will say that it just is not common here in the U.S.A. and by the looks of other comments, it isnt common anywhere else.
in Mexico this never happens actually
I was going to post just that. You saved me the effort ^^ And I’m glad it’s not only us foreigners who think it’s weird!
To me, the fact that they’re freshmen helps it make sense.
Like, they could all be looking for something familiar, at the same time, right after their first week away from home.
If they all go together on subsequent weeks, then I’ve never seen that in my American social circles. It was always one or maybe two kids who went to services, and they let their roommates sleep in.
Yes, that sounds more like the real world to me.
At the first college I went to, everyone went to church on Sundays (and rocked out to electric guitar and drums). My second school is a state school like this one. I don’t live on campus, so I can’t speak for Sunday, but everyone seems to be openly religious, and there’s regular evangelizing on the school square.
Oh no, not Mary. God this can’t get any wor-
(the mike part of my brain just walked up to the chalkboard and pointed out that Ryan is a pastor’s son. . . and they’re about to head to a church)
What I was going for essentially
Why does she looks so worried when she’s talking about a church with an “awesome congregation”? xD
Christian rock has always sounded really fake to me. Hearing it inside a church building wouldn’t help.
I’ve never been a fan of Christian rock either, but that’s more to do with the quality of the music. They always seem to put too much focus on the Jesus-y message and not enough on making the music sound good. That and I’m an atheist, so the message isn’t appealing to me anyway.
Wanna guess who’ll be the pastor of this church?
Who? The Pastor of Muppets?
Please take all of my internets, for you are far more worthy than I.
*Bows* I shall make good use of it -for all mankind.
My sleepy brain initially interpreted that area with a tiled floor past the large opening as the dorm shower area. My sleepy brain is dumb and possibly a pervert.
Oh my god I love your gravatar. Where did you get that?
Click on it! You know you want to! Click on the red, candy-like… I mean the black-and-white funny avatar!
Can someone tell me who Mary is in regards to the old comic? I’m not familiar with her.
An obnoxious holier-than-thou Bible thumper who was eventually outed as a complete hypocrite
In related news, the description of the mega-church reminded me of Ted Haggard.
If I remember correctly, she was Sal’s best friend in high school, whose job was to laugh at everything Sal did (Sal put on a goofy front in order to win friends quickly, because her family moved so much). In college, she was shown to be overly religious and judgmental. Then she got pregnant (had an abortion?), demonstrating her hypocrisy.
It’s a trap!
I went to a church like that once, but it ended up being a cult. I was removed by security because I didn’t want to fill out paperwork toward the end stating that I was going to devote my life to Jesus and their church. Oh, and it also stated that I would send 30% of my income to them. They also had a Starbucks in the lobby, which was kind of weird.
Yeah that does sound suspicious. I’ve been to chuch my whole life and never had to fill out paper work.
The big church here in DC has a Starbucks in their lobby as well, but with 17000 parishioners it’s probably a good investment.
“Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the baristas and the benches of those drinking half caf frappuccinos.”
Preeeeetty much. It’s where all the crazy conservative yahoos go, too. Starbucks and the assurance that big military budgets and cutting off funding for family planning is the WAY TO GO.
Geez, have people here never been to a church with electric guitar and drums? They’re like a dime a dozen. “Contemporary” music to bring in the crowds and all that.
I’m now convinced they’re going to Evangelical Community Church.
Ah, yes, Richard 2:21. “And the LORD said, ‘They have electric guitars and drums.’”
Who is this prophetess who speaks of sweet wailings on electric guitars?
She’s the incarnation of the Virgin Mother.
Mary, Our Lady of Perpetual Reverb.
Sure are a lot of people up going to church. I dunno if this is normal or not. I slept every sunday when I was in college. And that was the least of my sins.
I am suspicious of this girl dressed in red and black… is she leading the group astray :O
Joyce, those would be reasonable things to take into consideration… If you had started this “deciding” thing before you were en-route.
Drums and electric guitar are usually an excellent indicator of something evangelical; right up Joyce’s alley.
I’m betting onr Catholic or UU, myself
I’ve never been to a Catholic Mass that wasn’t traditional in the extreme, myself. Half the time they didn’t even have someone playing piano, and we just sang.
Sounds like an issue with available musicians more than what they wanted.
The Catholic church I attend upgraded to an electronic drum machine a while ago, at the drummer’s request.
I know UUs tend to use non traditional music (I’m a UU myself), but I’ve yet to see an actual band at a UU church (mostly choirs and maybe a guitar.. no full band yet). I’ve been to a few other protestant churches with them however.
I don’t think that the denomination determines whether or not there is a band or really has any relation. I believe its the spirit of the community that determines if the church is more traditional hymn or rock music. Since they are in a college town/city it would make sense that at least one church caters to the college crowd.
I respectfully disagree. I attended a local Four Square in town a few times (because the girl was really cute), and that’s exactly what they are. You have speaking parts that are led together with a song played by a band. Electric guitars, and drums. In fact, the whole service is sort of arranged as a song – the spoken parts are the verse to the song’s chorus!
All in all, it was a pretty interesting experience – and again, she was damn cute. I haven’t been in a church since.
I gotta say, being Catholic, or any other specific denomination of Christianity, is a lot simpler. The churches are essentially the same no matter where you go, you don’t have to vet their beliefs and doctrines before attending services.
You’re obviously unfamiliar with Eastern Catholicism among other similar variations then. Going to a church of the Eastern Rite can be a challenging experience for some if they’re only familiar with the Roman Rite, despite both being Catholic and in full communion with Rome.
I was raised Roman Catholic, and I love going to the Masses of the different Rites. I was so excited when the Anglican Rite was pronounced last year because it meant a new way for me to pray the Mass. Greek Rite is one of my favorites, but I prayed the Celtic Mass with some Benedictines in Ireland and it blew my freaking mind. So legit.
If you’re Catholic and you’ve only participated in the Latin(Roman) Rite, do yourself a favor and find somewhere or some priest nearby willing to celebrate Mass in a different Rite.
Seems odd Joyce wouldn’t have decided by now.
I don’t think real IU has any church on campus, strictly speaking, apart from a tiny chapel.
My guess would be that Joyce is unaccustomed to thinking of church as something you have to decide upon, since until this point her destination was always clear. Only at the last minute would she be thinking, “Okay, it’s time to get going to church! Um, where an I going again?”
Aha I knew I recalled her from earlier.
Oops. I meant this one:
The other link was for my gravatar. >> sorry about the confusion!
It just occurred to me to find it odd that Mary would assume that Joyce would prioritize the music over the message. It suggests that she’s aware of Joyce’s easily-entertained personality, which I wouldn’t have expected her to know. Unless most college-age theists think of church as a party?
Sadly, most college-age anythings think of everything as a party. The theists are no exception.
Why is that sad?
Cus those college-age people in college wouldnt make it very far if there was a rave in every classroom of course.
Well, when I was Christian, I visited a lot of different churches, and the ones with more modern music sometimes moved me in a different way even though the message was about the same. It wasn’t a “party” or more entertaining; it was just music that was more like what I was used to listening to IRL. It still had that “pure” feeling that everything Church-related has. Anyway, I can see why Mary would think it’s worth mentioning and why Joyce might think it was worth a try, even if it seemed like it was just for comedic effect.
Not really all that odd. Having grown up in a very musical family, good music has always been an integral part of a fulfilling praise experience.
This is literally a way of communicating beliefs in my town. “Hey, what was that church you said you went to? What’s their worship service like.” “It’s got electric guitars and drums.” “Oh… Not really what I was looking for, but thanks.”
I propose the First Church of Lemmy! Because we all know who would win in a fight between Lemmy and God!
Church … A place where people gather to compare clothing.
This sounds a lot like the church I used to go to (I miss it now I’ve moved away)
The pastor was a former hippie with his music tastes leaning towards a Led Zepplin/Pink Floyd and this has rubbed off of the rest of the worship team with much of the worship in “jam” style, a freeform 20 minute guitar solo, sometimes with a harmonica, a violin, saxaphone or other instrument… totally badass!
In addition the message we preach is very straightforward. We don’t believe in discriminating or hating anyone (although they still have ridiculous notions about Dungeons and Dragons and Harry Potter)
I’d love to see the look on Joyce’s face if it’s a Unitarian Universalist church.
i prolly missed the train, but how about “Wynonas big brown bible”? or “heaven aint a bad place to be”?
Well, they do have a hook for people.
Do the Vatican Rag.
So maybe this is Joyce after all? http://headtrip.keenspot.com/d/20111024.html
I sure hope the electric guitar church IS the Mormon church.
If this is actually Bloomington, the Methodist church has great music–and it’s not guitar and drums, it’s classically trained singers and instrumentalists
I went to a Calvinist church mainly for that reason. Their worship music was FUN. Not like the dry stuff at the Presbyterian church (which was closer to campus and apparently “the place to pick up chicks”).
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