Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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guh you couldn't even just pick the pickles off the pizza because they're going to leave gross pickle juice
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July 9, 2026

Pickles

by David M Willis on July 1, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 04 – Of Mike And Men
└ Tags: becky, dorothy, jacob, joyce

Discussion (185) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    July 1, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    “I’VE UNILATERALLY DECIDED THAT INDUCING NAUSEA IS A SIGN OF MATURITY AND GROWTH”

    “ok, well here’s a baggie to catch all your maturity and growth when it comes up”

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      July 1, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

      ROFL

  2. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    July 1, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    Dorothy does not have time for slapstick barfing

    • Chris Phoenix
      Chris Phoenix
      July 2, 2018 at 1:01 am | #

      Yeah. Barfing for a week of real-life time… ugh. And that’s assuming we don’t do a cutaway to another thread and come back in two months.

  3. King Daniel
    King Daniel
    July 1, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Now I’m wondering where Galasso ever got the idea that pickles were trying to usurp him in the first place.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      July 1, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      It’s a constant thought I have about pickles. I get it.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      July 1, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

      Galasso doesn’t like back-and-forth, ambiguity, hard choices, or being caught between threats. He LOATHES pickles.

      • foamy
        foamy
        July 2, 2018 at 12:52 am | #

        I sympathize. Fuck pickles.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      July 1, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC3pGcRHeQ0

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        July 1, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

        That’s the best thing I’ve seen in a week.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        July 1, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

        Well uh… that’s… uh… something…

      • Keulen
        Keulen
        July 1, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

        What did I just watch?

      • cbwroses
        cbwroses
        July 1, 2018 at 1:07 am | #

        But…why did it make the Kung fu movie sound effect when he grabbed his turtle junk?

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          July 1, 2018 at 1:12 am | #

          I think a better question would be why wouldn’t it make that sound?

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        July 1, 2018 at 1:12 am | #

        ………..This planet is weird…

        … THAT’S WHY I LOVE IT!!!

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        July 1, 2018 at 2:59 am | #

        Yeah, I’m with Galasso on this one

      • CoMa
        CoMa
        July 1, 2018 at 8:48 am | #

        This is awesome -why have I never seen this in TV??!

        For anyone possibly wondering what the woman says at the end: “Sauerländer cucumbers. Crisp in bite.” (or possibly “crisp/firm to the bite” -it’s a pretty strange phrase in German as well)

      • Schol-R-LEA
        Schol-R-LEA
        July 1, 2018 at 2:47 pm | #

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iy6x3o4zqM

      • AGV
        AGV
        July 2, 2018 at 3:38 am | #

        This is from 2008, and Raph looks EXACTLY like in bay’s movies, what the actual heck

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      July 1, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

      “Now I’m wondering where Galasso ever got the idea that pickles were trying to usurp him in the first place.”

      Me too.
      Or, for even more mental gymnastics, just HOW they were going to usurp him.

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 1, 2018 at 1:19 am | #

        Pickles are inscrutable.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        July 1, 2018 at 7:25 am | #

        Here’s one scenario: Sayid talking with Lucy about midterms, says he’s “in a pickle” for one reason or another, Galasso overhears just that part. Galasso interprets this as pickles taking his underlings down one by one, which is attacking his empire from the bottom up. He imagines some pickle themed supervillan behind it all. Soon the dumpster oozes neon green, the air heavy with the scent of vinegar and dill.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      July 1, 2018 at 1:30 am | #

      I, for one, welcome our new pickle overlords.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      July 1, 2018 at 4:24 am | #

      This is Galasso we’re talking about here. The whole idea that there was a recognisable causative event to this delusion is essentially a laughable nonsense.

  4. Yumi
    Yumi
    July 1, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    You mean her usual sausage pizza with the sausage picked off?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      July 1, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      …..

      ….. I think the cast is due for another talk about what the word “usual” means.

  5. BBCC
    BBCC
    July 1, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh, Joyce, honey, if he can’t handle the weird eating habits, he’s not the guy for you.

    Says me, queen of picky eating.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      July 1, 2018 at 12:35 am | #

      He doesn’t seem to be complaining, Just him making an observation.

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        July 1, 2018 at 4:24 am | #

        No, it’s perilously close to mockery. I’m with BBCC here; both Jacob’s words and Joyce’s reaction are at least yellow flags.

        • Emily
          Emily
          July 1, 2018 at 5:13 am | #

          I mean if they were a couple Jacob’s words might be kinda uncool but fond exasperation over personality quirks between friends has never really raised any warning flags for me. Like there doesn’t feel like there’s any real judgement going on here.

        • Daisy
          Daisy
          July 1, 2018 at 9:44 am | #

          When Joyce ordered her noodles after Church, Jacob told her outright that he didn’t want her to do that kind of thing for him. He also expressed concern about pushing her to act differently, even unintentionally. If Jacob picks up on what’s going through her head here, I expect he’ll apologise.

          Mis-steps are okay! Jacob is doing his best and correcting his errors.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          July 1, 2018 at 10:39 am | #

          Friendly teasing about her eating habits is apparently a staple of both her relationship with Becky and with her family. As is, judging from the sibling lunch before it went bad, her failed determination to overcome it.

          If she’s overreacting here, it’s because of her crush and her fear she’s too weird for him. Let that all settle down, like by actually getting into a soid relationship and he’d be able to tease her all he liked.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            July 1, 2018 at 9:35 pm | #

            I was just joking around. What have I unleashed

            • DSL
              DSL
              July 2, 2018 at 12:47 pm | #

              You have unleashed the basically humorless commentariat. Granted, it doesn’t take much unleashing.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      July 1, 2018 at 3:02 am | #

      Get yourself a guy who is willing to pick gross things off your food.

      (Becky: ‘I’d pick gross things off you food, Joyce’)

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        July 1, 2018 at 9:22 am | #

        Better – find a guy who will happily eat all of the things you discard off of your own food.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        July 1, 2018 at 10:08 am | #

        (Becky: ‘Wait, I’ve been doing that for years.’)

        Though I think Joyce’s hangups may also include other people touching her food – she’s at least got the germaphobe thing about sharing.

  6. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    July 1, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    It’s not easy being cheesy–Chester Cheetah

  7. StClair
    StClair
    July 1, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    “must not show weakness/weirdness in front of fantastically hot guy I am semi-consciously competing/flirting with!”

    • wynne
      wynne
      July 1, 2018 at 12:44 am | #

      Tbh as a recovering picky eater, dates are a *really* good motivator.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      July 1, 2018 at 3:02 am | #

      “Chooses the most not-weird way possible to seem not-weird”

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 1, 2018 at 3:34 am | #

        (“nailed it!”)

  8. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    July 1, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    Becky: Must please Joyce
    Also Becky: Must defy Dorothy

    ERROR ERROR ERROR LOGIC CONFLICT FATAL ERROR ERROR ERR-

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      July 1, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

      Luckily, Becky has the option of correcting Dorothy and saying, “You mean her usual small sausage pizza with the sausage picked off and put on the side in a little bowl.”

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        July 1, 2018 at 3:00 am | #

        like I – HER BEST FRIEND SINCE FOREVER, AND FOREVER AND EVER – always have done for her and always will do? You mean THAT kind of pizza?

  9. DinaWho
    DinaWho
    July 1, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    I genuinely love pickles, but they do not make the best pizza topping. (I’ve seriously never heard of pickles on pizza before this strip. Is it actually a thing? o_o)

    • Emily
      Emily
      July 1, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

      I’d imagine it’s for the subs, but Joyce didn’t think about that.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      July 1, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

      It’s probably a thing in that putting almost anything on pizza is a thing somewhere, but it’s definitely not common. I don’t think that’s what Becky meant, anyway– they could have stopped serving pickle spears on the side of subs for a bit, for instance, but they have reinstated them. Joyce just wants to overcompensate.

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        July 1, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

        https://www.pizzadoctors.net/full-menu/
        Check out the specialty combos and the dessert pizzas.

        • Marsh Maryrose
          Marsh Maryrose
          July 1, 2018 at 1:23 am | #

          Missing from this menu:

          Doc Martin
          Dr. Quincy (M.E.)
          Dr. Kimble
          Dr. Pierce
          Dr. Quinn

          • Bicycle Bill
            Bicycle Bill
            July 1, 2018 at 1:47 am | #

            Come up with a suitable, slightly off-the-wall combo that would be in character for each or any of those and email it to me, and I’ll pass it along to the Chief Surgeon.
            Incidentally, I recognize all of them except Doc Martin. Who’s he?

            • Marsh Maryrose
              Marsh Maryrose
              July 1, 2018 at 2:13 am | #

              He’s the eponymous doctor of a British show carried on PBS. He’s a kind of an odd duck who leaves a medical practice in London and sets up shop in a Cornish seaside village, which, wouldn’t you know it (and such a surprise for a British show), is full of odd ducks.

              It was one of my mom’s favorite shows and it kind of grew on me, too.

              • DaveM
                DaveM
                July 1, 2018 at 3:05 am | #

                And lets not forget Doc Martens (a British footwear and clothing brand).

            • Tawdry Quirks
              Tawdry Quirks
              July 1, 2018 at 3:15 am | #

              Doc Martin is an ITV comedy/drama about a grouchy, misanthropic surgeon who relocates to a small village in Cornwall to become the village’s general practitioner after he develops a phobia of seeing blood. The titular doctor is played by Martin Clunes, who you might recognize from other British shows.

              In other words, imagine House but with a strong work-ethic, extreme OCD, and a blood phobia.

              • Abel Undercity
                Abel Undercity
                July 1, 2018 at 5:43 am | #

                It threw me for a loop when I first saw it, because I was certain, for reasons unknown, that it was a mystery series.

            • Goshii
              Goshii
              July 1, 2018 at 11:05 pm | #

              You should have a Dr. No as well. I’d say some sort of jamaican/caribbean flavors for it (Seeing as the Island of Dr. No is in the caribbean in the books and film)

          • StClair
            StClair
            July 1, 2018 at 2:39 am | #

            Dr. Howard
            Dr. Fine
            Dr. Howard

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            July 1, 2018 at 8:51 am | #

            Dr. Phil – A conflicting hot mess of a pizza heavy on the tears. One side has hot sauce and linguica, the other has roasted vegetables and sausage. The whole thing has extra onions.

            Dr. Oz – A front of common sense with undertones of BS. Regular pepperoni pizza with mushroom and/or anchovy hidden under the cheese.

            Dr. Quinn – White ranch sauce, barbecue chicken or pork, crumbled bacon. An amalgam of “western” pizza fixings.

            Dr. Pierce – A mashup of cheese, pepperoni, roasted green bell pepper, onion (the drama), and olives (the martinis).

            • StClair
              StClair
              July 1, 2018 at 11:15 am | #

              Nice.

            • The Golux
              The Golux
              July 1, 2018 at 4:42 pm | #

              I object to Mushrooms being referred to as BS

        • Kamino Neko
          Kamino Neko
          July 1, 2018 at 4:23 am | #

          The fact that Dr Pepper is not only not the only soft drink on the menu, it isn’t on the menu at all, is disappointing.

    • mrnoidea
      mrnoidea
      July 1, 2018 at 12:43 am | #

      Pineapple on pizza ain’t my thing, but I’ll definitely take that over pickles.

    • tisvana18
      tisvana18
      July 1, 2018 at 1:05 am | #

      It’s common in cheeseburger pizzas. Seeing as I too think pickles are gross, I’ve never had one.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      July 1, 2018 at 2:38 am | #

      Salami, pickles, and jalapenos is actually not half bad.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        July 1, 2018 at 9:26 am | #

        Well, yeah – ON A SANDWICH!!

    • Tim
      Tim
      July 1, 2018 at 3:50 am | #

      My family has made pickle pizza for fridays in Lent for 4 generations. My grandma made it for my mom, my mom for me and my sister, and we have made it for our kids.

      • hof1991
        hof1991
        July 1, 2018 at 6:46 am | #

        Now that is a penance. You guys take Lent more seriously than me.

  10. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    July 1, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    It’s vinegar, alt-text. Just say vinegar.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      July 1, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

      I mean, it’s not JUST vinegar.

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      July 1, 2018 at 12:16 am | #

      nooo, it is not. maybe it’s pickle-flavour vinegar, but to my tastebuds, the pickle overwhelms all else.

      it took years of trying, but I can now eat a small amount of certain types of pickles. otoh, I’ve always loved excessive amounts of vinegar 🙂

    • Sporky
      Sporky
      July 1, 2018 at 12:22 am | #

      Green vinegar

    • StClair
      StClair
      July 1, 2018 at 2:41 am | #

      also salt! or “brine”, if you like.

    • Fire_daws
      Fire_daws
      July 1, 2018 at 4:29 am | #

      That’s what it [b]wants[/b] you to think.

    • Knayt
      Knayt
      July 1, 2018 at 5:44 am | #

      The solvent is, sure. Then there’s some real variety in the solutes, some of which dominate the flavor.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      July 1, 2018 at 8:57 am | #

      Vinegar on its own is disgusting, especially white vinegar. Once it becomes pickle brine and loses that distinct smell, it’s alright. Basalmic is okay on fries, but kosher dill pickle juice is a lot better. (Tastes like dill potato chips.)

  11. Kamino Neko
    Kamino Neko
    July 1, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    She just really, really wants his pickle.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      July 1, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

      If it’s lumpy like a pickle, he might wanna get that checked out.

      • Sunny
        Sunny
        July 1, 2018 at 8:32 pm | #

        Maybe he’s had beads surgically inserted under the upper layer of skin. That could feel absolutely amazing.

        • laladoria
          laladoria
          July 1, 2018 at 9:01 pm | #

          Is…. Is that a thing..?

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            July 1, 2018 at 10:26 pm | #

            There are things that are things that you do not want to know. Do not look too deeply.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            July 3, 2018 at 3:40 pm | #

            Yes. Yes it is.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      July 1, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

      “I want pickles! I want pickles so much! In fact, take your dill pickles, chop them up, and add them to the sauce! And take all the dill-vinegar juice that’s left in the twenty jars of pickles you used up and mix it into the pizza dough so that the pizza is one huge ginormous pickle I can stuff into my mouth! That’s right, you heard me, dill juice in the dough! I wan’t dill dough! DILL DOUGH!”

      • Lilyliv
        Lilyliv
        July 1, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

        Okay, we need a “like comment” button pronto.

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        July 1, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

        *snorts*

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        July 1, 2018 at 12:55 am | #

        Focaccia is my potluck specialty, and I often put fresh herbs in the dough. Rosemary, thyme, tarragon, sage…but never yet have I tried dill. I’m thinking it would be pretty good.

        Dill, tarragon, shallots, provolone…I think I know what I’m trying next time. But I absolutely will not anyone I am serving them dill dough.

        Although, most likely, most of the people I know would come up with that on their own.

      • ShinyNeen
        ShinyNeen
        July 1, 2018 at 6:55 am | #

        Oh, if that’s what Joyce is after, maybe she should ask Sarah about the Other Jacob!

  12. birddog
    birddog
    July 1, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

    k now I just want a pickle pizza thanks

  13. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    July 1, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    I wonder if Jacob’s aware of that from Sarah’s Joyce stories in the past, or if Joyce had been picky in front of him prior. He was around for her disassembling her taco (not a euphemism), so he would have observed that much, I guess.

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      July 1, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

      he was also there when she decided to be brave and let her meatballs touch her spaghetti.

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        July 1, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/curry/

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        July 1, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

        Well, let the meatballs touch the buttered noodles; the Buttered Noodles dish there isn’t spaghetti.

        They also ate at Galasso’s previously, so he saw what she got there before.

    • Tawdry Quirks
      Tawdry Quirks
      July 1, 2018 at 5:02 am | #

      That taco disassembly moment was the first scene with both Jacob and Sarah in it. So he witnessed Joyce’s bizarre eating habits before Sarah ever discussed Joyce’s food quirks with him in further detail.

  14. Smooti
    Smooti
    July 1, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

    Hey, pickle pizza is great! The bag will be for leftovers for the next day!

  15. Jabberwocky
    Jabberwocky
    July 1, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

    Don’t worry, Jacob, you’re not on the list

  16. Black
    Black
    July 1, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

    There’s something seriously wrong with that girl…

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      July 1, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

      I find it interesting, I see something with layers a can’t help but to peel it back and see what Lies Beneath.

  17. Griffin Raynor
    Griffin Raynor
    July 1, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

    The real issue here is that you like McDonald’s hamburgers.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      July 1, 2018 at 1:09 am | #

      I figure if McDonald’s was good enough for Julia Child, it’s good enough for me.

      • desolation0
        desolation0
        July 1, 2018 at 2:58 am | #

        Would it be good enough for her now though? I can’t help thinking some of the loss in flavor isn’t down to me just being older and more taste conscious.

    • Ivy
      Ivy
      July 1, 2018 at 1:43 am | #

      McDonald’s burgers are my favorites k thanks bye

  18. Tacos
    Tacos
    July 1, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

    Ah yes, I remember when I used to hate pickles. And onions. And tomatoes. Then I started to like them by the time I was 15-16 years old cuz I had this real delicious burger one time.

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      July 1, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

      ahh, tomatoes. I always loved raw tomatoes, but I couldn’t stand cooked ones unless they were pureed, like, soup or ketchup. then I spent some time in china, where we couldn’t eat raw veggies, and after a few months I started getting this weird urge to eat the cooked tomatoes that came with our scrambled eggs. whatever vitamins they had, I *really* needed them – and I’ve not had a problem eating cooked tomatoes since then. 🙂

      I had something kinda similar happen with spinach too, but the opposite way around – as a kid I would only eat cooked spinach, because popeye. 🙂

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 1, 2018 at 2:44 am | #

        My elementary school lunch program turned me off spinach for decades (I’ve finally started sampling it, in small doses) by serving it finely chopped, and possibly [i]scooped[/i] – a form that resembled nothing so much as what you’d scrape off the bottom of a lawn mower.

        Consider that most children are already wary of eating ‘greens’…

        • Schpoonman
          Schpoonman
          July 1, 2018 at 8:42 am | #

          I wish greens had been presented to me in a slightly more palatable way when I was young. Like, why was I only ever served lukewarm off-brand Popeye? Where’s the ham club with spicy mayo and a bed of spinach?

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          July 1, 2018 at 10:13 am | #

          Yeah, we had the lawn mower scrapings in college. I just couldn’t do it.

          It was actually Saag that got me eating spinach regularly. Now I throw it in lots of things.

        • DinaWho
          DinaWho
          July 1, 2018 at 5:18 pm | #

          I actually liked chopped spinach back in elementary school. With ketchup. (I was the kid who put ketchup on everything, lol)

  19. Sporky
    Sporky
    July 1, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

    I love pickles, but… on pizza…?

    Oh wait they have subs too that would make a lot more sense

  20. DeepThought42
    DeepThought42
    July 1, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

    Joyce: “I also need more aboriginal percussion and army of didgeridoos fifty thousand didgeridoos!! and a serria mist.”

  21. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    July 1, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

    Yes, pickles are yucky. Not as horrible as onions, sneaky bastards they are.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      July 1, 2018 at 12:32 am | #

      I like pickles but just not on everything….. you know actually this is a reasonable stance on pickles I might have prejudged this.

    • maxyai
      maxyai
      July 1, 2018 at 5:57 am | #

      I feel the same way. Onions are everywhere. I always used to argue with my mother: “Don’t cook it with onions” “I’ll cut them in big pieces so you can pick them off” “I’ll still taste them.” Sure enough, they still left there nasty onion stank on the food.

      • Sunny
        Sunny
        July 1, 2018 at 8:36 pm | #

        You’re both weird. Onions are great at adding flavour to things and meaning to life in general.

  22. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    July 1, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

    This goes beyond being a picky eater, Joyce’s eating habits are odd but yet so intriguing in a amusing since that sometimes you just want to know more. Which can also be said about her character when we’re not focusing solely. on her omissions like upbringing.

    I know how this feels because it describes my past obsession with the last girl I had a crush on.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      July 1, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

      *Amish..suck at spelling.

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      July 1, 2018 at 12:46 am | #

      Yeah, her “deconstruction” of food is odd. It’s not odd to dislike some food combinations, but Joyce seem to have an aversion for combining foods in general.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        July 1, 2018 at 10:17 am | #

        Yeah, Joyce goes over the top on her food issues.

        I remember someone suggesting it might have been one of the few ways she could exert any control in her childhood.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          July 1, 2018 at 9:38 pm | #

          I’m the exact same way as Joyce. Foods shouldn’t touch – I don’t care if they touch in my stomach, I don’t TASTE it in my stomach. Foods are supposed to taste a certain way. It’s one thing when you take a bunch of foods and create a whole new food out of it (like baking cookies) but sauces, mixing food, stew, soup, etc. are GROSS. Things like icing and fillings are only acceptable if said food can be deconstructed and eaten that way. I eat tacos the same way Joyce does – component by component.

          I dunno what that says about me, but Joyce’s eating habits are real.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      July 1, 2018 at 2:08 pm | #

      Joyce was not Amish, trust me. For one thing, she’s allowed to wear buttons.

      (My great-grandparents were PA Dutch Plain – basically indistinguishable to outsiders, but they drove, owned a TV, and belonged to a church that is basically indistinguishable from the Mennonites which Amish people belong to but is considered a significant difference in central PA. My mom will make the button comment from time to time.)

      (Other fun facts about the Amish: while phone lines would be too permanent or whatever, they do use burner cell phones because the thing about technology is that if it’s that far most effective for its purpose, they’re okay with that. Similarly I think they can use electronic cash registers if the building they’re in has standing electricity.)

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 1, 2018 at 3:10 pm | #

        The version I’ve heard has the phone – for the whole village, basically – in an unheated shack, much like an outhouse, and for similar reasons; you’re supposed to do your business and leave. Also makes it clear that the phone, and whoever is on the other end, is not “invited into” anyone’s home, to take up their time etc.

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          July 2, 2018 at 12:48 am | #

          Would make sense, yeah. Utility does not mean welcoming it into your life, after all.

  23. Marsh Maryrose
    Marsh Maryrose
    July 1, 2018 at 12:35 am | #

    I’m with the alt-text. Also, if I order a sub with no mustard and you accidentally put it on, don’t try to wipe it off with a napkin as though I couldn’t taste the stuff that’s still in the crevices of the bread. Same goes for mayonnaise.

    But onions don’t leave gunk, so it’s okay to just take them off. Unless they’re pickled onions, but why would anyone not want pickled onions on their sub?

  24. vivid grim
    vivid grim
    July 1, 2018 at 12:38 am | #

    ty for the ARFID representation, willis

  25. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    July 1, 2018 at 12:40 am | #

    Wait here I thought she was ordering a burger they’re eating pickle pizza? Okay now I’m with Joyce who eats pickles on the pizza like what the fuck? People complain about pineapples being on their pizzas but this is normal? Then again it’s sort of similar to have an olives and peppers on your Pizza and that’s kind of normal.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      July 1, 2018 at 12:43 am | #

      They…weren’t ordering a pickle pizza? Joyce was the only one who got there, and that was just her overcompensating to not look so picky.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      July 1, 2018 at 12:44 am | #

      Remember, this is Galasso’s Pizza (and Subs). The pickles are intended to be for the subs, most likely.

  26. Keulen
    Keulen
    July 1, 2018 at 12:44 am | #

    Pickles are one of the things I would never want on pizza, along with pineapple.

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      July 1, 2018 at 12:55 am | #

      I don’t know. It doesn’t sound too bad. Then again I’ve had the Spicy Italian sandwich at Subway and it also has pickles, cheese, and pepperoni among other things on it. Both have similar things on them.

    • Swissaboo
      Swissaboo
      July 1, 2018 at 1:55 am | #

      I mean a lot of places you can already PICKLED jalapenos i’m not really sure it specifically being CUCUMBER pickles makes the pickledness any worse.

      • Swissaboo
        Swissaboo
        July 1, 2018 at 1:56 am | #

        Hell i fucking love artichoke heart on my pizzas, not that far off from THAT either.

        • Marsh Maryrose
          Marsh Maryrose
          July 1, 2018 at 2:42 am | #

          The thing about pickles (of whatever origin) is that, like all products of fermentation, they bring on the funky, and individual reactions to any particular funkiness vary wildly.

          Artichoke hearts are pretty much just another veggie. The fact that they’re often stored in olive oil certainly doesn’t hurt.

          And now I’m thinking of kimchi pizza, which I would be willing to try, and sauerkraut pizza, which I would definitely hate.

  27. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    July 1, 2018 at 12:56 am | #

    To be fair, there are very good reasons to hate pickles.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      July 1, 2018 at 1:48 am | #

      Peter Parker never forgave the pickle that murdered his Uncle Ben.

      • DonDueed
        DonDueed
        July 1, 2018 at 7:13 am | #

        And he never ate rice again.

        • Puckish Rogue
          Puckish Rogue
          July 1, 2018 at 6:49 pm | #

          Thats pretty good

  28. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    July 1, 2018 at 12:58 am | #

    Given a choice, I’d pick a pickle pizza over a pickled pizza.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      July 1, 2018 at 9:31 am | #

      ITYM Provided a preference, you’d prefer pickle pizza over pickled pizza.

  29. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 1, 2018 at 1:10 am | #

    Step aside for the pickle conquistador!

  30. Chronos
    Chronos
    July 1, 2018 at 1:16 am | #

    Is panel 4 a new Joyce face? I don’t think I’ve seen it before.

  31. Ivy
    Ivy
    July 1, 2018 at 1:22 am | #

    I ask for extra pickles on mcdonalds burgers cuz pickles are great, and they have to make it fresh

  32. RachelEvil
    RachelEvil
    July 1, 2018 at 1:33 am | #

    As a trans woman on spironolactone, I would eat a pickle pizza.

  33. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 1, 2018 at 1:35 am | #

    I love how Becky and Dorothy starts to form a stable relationship around handling Joyce’s neuroses.

  34. BenRG
    BenRG
    July 1, 2018 at 2:11 am | #

    “Oh no, Sempai thinks that I’m being silly! I must restore his impression of me by eating something I’ll hate and probably will make me upchuck in front of everyone!” Joyce, I’m sorry to say that you are now officially an animé romantic protagonist.

  35. Apostate
    Apostate
    July 1, 2018 at 2:26 am | #

    Pickle juice is delicious and I’m almost certain that Carla would agree.

  36. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    July 1, 2018 at 2:38 am | #

    I’d rather have broccoli on pizza than pickle slices. Yes, I’m referencing inside Out there.

  37. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    July 1, 2018 at 2:43 am | #

    Becky: Is something wrong?
    Jacob: I don’t know.

    Joyce is being a compulsive homewrecker and Dorothy is having OCD that induces anxiety.

  38. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    July 1, 2018 at 2:51 am | #

    Joyce is such a pickly eater.

    • adjudicus
      adjudicus
      July 1, 2018 at 3:08 am | #

      While Joyce is in a bit of a pickle right now, she really should stop dill-y dallying

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      July 1, 2018 at 4:26 am | #

      I’m pretty sure she has a string of minor neuroses including something OCD-like.

  39. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 1, 2018 at 3:05 am | #

    Again – I really love to see how genuinely good Becky is at her job. Friendly, sassy, bantering and also efficient in taking their orders.

    For Becky, who has to fight every day to justify her independence, it is great to see her pull this off.

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      July 1, 2018 at 3:29 am | #

      It won’t be long before Galasso announces her as his Heir to the Pizza shop.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        July 1, 2018 at 12:21 pm | #

        The lopsided orange one has potential.

        And as I’ve noted before – Galasso is a wanna by tyrant with delusions of grandeur who is not as clever as he thing he is.

        Becky spent her entire childhood learning how to outwit such a man. She will not find it terribly difficult to navigate the corporate structure of Galassos’ Pizza (and subs).

    • Puckish Rogue
      Puckish Rogue
      July 1, 2018 at 6:48 pm | #

      Genuine question here but what do you mean by:”who has to fight every day to justify her independence”

      Because it seems to me that she has some family, has a widening circle of friends, has a significant other, has a job, is looking at beginning study and has a place where she can be “out” so about the only thing she doesn’t really have at the moment is a long term place of residence

      But I’m guessing I’ve probably missed the point you’re making

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        July 2, 2018 at 3:02 am | #

        Stuff like this

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/03-faz-is-great/cocktail/

        “I’m a homeless chick who waits table and lives on a couch” – it is clear that Becky’s situation affects her self image, and therefor it helps that she is really good at her job. Makes her feel less like an imposter.

  40. Selement
    Selement
    July 1, 2018 at 5:15 am | #

    I’m with Joyce, pickles are gross! I am a picky eater though. Possibly more so than Joyce? I also really hate onions and bell peppers

    • Zee
      Zee
      July 1, 2018 at 12:51 pm | #

      Onions and bell peppers are like, basics when it comes to seasoning. How do you eat anything cooked

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        July 1, 2018 at 1:56 pm | #

        Blandly, probably. (I’m likewise an obscenely picky eater.) And I for one like the taste of onions, just not the actual texture, so minced or powder is fine.

        It’s eating in unfamiliar restaurants that causes anxiety.

  41. Abel Undercity
    Abel Undercity
    July 1, 2018 at 5:47 am | #

    I used to despise pickles as a kid. Now that I’m a(n alleged) grownup, I find that I love dill pickles, and especially kosher dills.

    Sweet pickles, on the other hand, are Satan’s Vegetable.

    • Arianod
      Arianod
      July 1, 2018 at 6:48 am | #

      Kosher dills? If I may ask, what makes some dills kosher and others un-kosher?

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        July 1, 2018 at 10:26 am | #

        I think they’re not necessarily officially kosher, they just picked up that name since they’re based on a NYC Jewish style.

        • Arianod
          Arianod
          July 1, 2018 at 11:49 am | #

          Wikipedia seems to agree ^^

  42. FireAtWilliam
    FireAtWilliam
    July 1, 2018 at 6:27 am | #

    Oh look,it’s the four people in the strip who should be engaged in a wonderful poly relationship

    • StClair
      StClair
      July 1, 2018 at 11:20 am | #

      “Oh come on, is there even a WORD for that?”

  43. Raen
    Raen
    July 1, 2018 at 6:45 am | #

    Galasso sells two wicked addictive, wicked fattening drugs.

  44. Arianod
    Arianod
    July 1, 2018 at 6:46 am | #

    Cheesy pizza.

  45. hof1991
    hof1991
    July 1, 2018 at 6:55 am | #

    I pick the pickles off hamburgers when I don’t want to slow down my order. I have never eaten a pickle in my life. It’s less the flavor than the texture (mouth feel). Luckily my spouse is a pickle eater so she gets extra.

    • FacelessDeviant
      FacelessDeviant
      July 1, 2018 at 7:14 am | #

      How can you know the texture/taste of pickles if you’ve never eaten one in your life though?

      • Andy
        Andy
        July 1, 2018 at 8:56 am | #

        If one gets in your mouth and you bite down and go “ABORT MISSION ABORT” internally before spitting it out, you could say you’ve never eaten one but are still able to say what you don’t like about them.

  46. ShinyNeen
    ShinyNeen
    July 1, 2018 at 7:05 am | #

    “Friendly teasing about my eating habits! I cannot handle friendly teasing about my eating habits!”

    … Oh, I was talking about myself, not Joyce.

  47. Arkzus
    Arkzus
    July 1, 2018 at 7:41 am | #

    Over time, Joyce has somehow become my favorite character. She is adorable and it is a shame she is not an actual real life person.

  48. Charlie Spencer
    Charlie Spencer
    July 1, 2018 at 8:27 am | #

    Why eat pickles when you could have jalapenos instead?

  49. Lordhaw
    Lordhaw
    July 1, 2018 at 8:46 am | #

    I agree with Joyce. Pickles are gross!

  50. Andy
    Andy
    July 1, 2018 at 9:04 am | #

    Enjoying pickles was a euphemism for enjoying something else that starts with P when i was in high school (as I’m sure it was for others…high schoolers tend to have a hive mind when it comes to some things) so it’s rather amusing to me that Joyce doesn’t want to eat ppickles until she thinks it’ll win Jacob’s approval.

  51. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    July 1, 2018 at 9:35 am | #

    Panel 4: OMG JACOB IS JUDGING MEEEEEEEEE

  52. Cmd1095
    Cmd1095
    July 1, 2018 at 11:41 am | #

    Joyce your crush behavior is adorable lmao

  53. Zee
    Zee
    July 1, 2018 at 12:53 pm | #

    Who the hell eats pickles on pizza??? I mean, yeah they make a good burger topping but pizza?

  54. Zee
    Zee
    July 1, 2018 at 12:53 pm | #

    I want burger king now

  55. wakeangel2001
    wakeangel2001
    July 1, 2018 at 1:55 pm | #

    I don’t like the kind of pickles mcdonalds puts on their burgers, they’re too bitter. I prefer kosher dills, a sour type. Either way I don’t think they would work on a pizza. I prefer meat based toppings, pepperoni for the most part, though sausage will work in a pinch.

  56. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    July 1, 2018 at 2:07 pm | #

    Get the bloody pickles out of the bloody burgers while you’re at it

  57. PB
    PB
    July 1, 2018 at 4:20 pm | #

    Give yourself a few years, Joyce. (I also like pickles on hamburgers and nothing else. Slowly growing to like tomatoes on sandwiches, but they are out of place in a salad.)

  58. miis
    miis
    July 1, 2018 at 8:41 pm | #

    Is it just me or are they kinda treating Becky rudely…

    • Puckish Rogue
      Puckish Rogue
      July 1, 2018 at 9:48 pm | #

      How do you mean?

  59. Pablo360
    Pablo360
    July 1, 2018 at 10:37 pm | #

    Alt text is how I feel about pineapples

    I’m not trying to start something, they actually make me nauseous

  60. DSL
    DSL
    July 2, 2018 at 12:51 pm | #

    I was going to say I was really amazed at the lack of commentary over Joyce forgetting there were others at her table whose tastes differ from hers, then I realized I was in an online comment section, in which personal preferences and dislikes are treated and presented as universal truths. Unless, of course, they’re someone else’s preferences and dislikes.

  61. Roborat
    Roborat
    July 3, 2018 at 3:48 pm | #

    I see Becky has learned how to speak in parenthesis, the first step in becoming Galasso’s protégé.

  62. CODDE117
    CODDE117
    July 15, 2018 at 12:11 pm | #

    I have only commented to agree. You can’t pick them off, the pickle juice is almost just as bad as the pickle itself.

CHOOSE A SIDE, NO COWARDS

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reposted by David M Willis!
nerdylawyer.bsky.social's user avatar
The Nerdy Lawyer @nerdylawyer.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Dorothy: You can't just follow me into fire! Joyce: You don't want me following you into fire? Then don't run into fire!
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
today in #9chickweedlane i learned i apparently gotta go see if "correlate" has an archaic definition that means something nonsense
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reposted by David M Willis!
virginiabarksdale.bsky.social's user avatar
Virginia Barksdale @virginiabarksdale.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
screaming, crying, throwing up, Pete the Peacock is real, I feel lesbian God in this chili's tonight
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Can’t leave you if I stay" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Can’t leave you if I stay
jesus christ tomorrow's strip early on patreon oh my god...
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Can’t leave you if I stay" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Can’t leave you if I stay
jesus christ tomorrow's strip early on patreon oh my god...
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reposted by David M Willis!
riotgrlerin.bsky.social's user avatar
RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
pam bondi as porta potties: thread
Pam bondi and he side profile wearing a dark yellow coat.
A yellow porta potty probably less shitty than Pam.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
header image - a man in a blue plaid shirt sits next to another man in a gray jacket
media.tenor.com
a man in a blue plaid shirt sits next to another man in a gray jacket
ALT: a man in a blue plaid shirt sits next to another man in a gray jacket
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reposted by David M Willis!
brigid.bsky.social's user avatar
Brigid Keely She/Her @brigid.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Joyce is absolutely totally straight and just wants to hang out with her best friend, who happens to be another lady. This is normal behavior and a normal biblical quote to use that has no other context. GAL PALS
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
joyce walks down an aisle
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southworth.bsky.social's user avatar
Paul Southworth ☢️ 🐟 @southworth.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
A lot of songs are lowkey about being horny
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reposted by David M Willis!
inflatabledalek.bsky.social's user avatar
Stuart Webb @inflatabledalek.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
OK, I said I was going to a thread of receipts together on the guy who runs Kapow, in odder to explain why I personally would recommend not giving him your business at TFN. Starting with the original post, revealing the guy loves sharing right wing fascist stuff on LinkedIn.
xjmaw.bsky.social's user avatarAlex Maw @xjmaw.bsky.social ⋅ 6m
Since you might think it's weird you got a like on this over a year after the fact, the director of Kapow just shared this on LinkedIn; i.imgur.com/hqQYWgO.png
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rosalarian.bsky.social's user avatar
Ro Salarian @rosalarian.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
This is the best review I've ever gotten on my clothes. They will make you hot and popular. Find em at rosalarian.com/shop
Text conversation that reads: 
Pink text: i just wore my pervert shirt from your site to a party last night and it was possibly the funniest conversation starter OVER AND OVER. i could have full conversations with someoen about it and then the person literally sitting on the other side of me would look over and go HEY YOUR SHIRT SAYS PERVERT?! just immaculate, best design I've ever gotten and it also scores me a whole subway bench on the train.
Black text: This is exactly the reaction I was aiming for, both at the party and on the subway
Pink text: 100% crit rate
Pink text: i was extremely popular all of a sudden
A photo of a short sleeve button up skirt that is black with the word PERVERT scrawled all over it in white handwriting
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Bold new hero Steve Lombard
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
another one of those "this food is delicious and i would absolutely eat all of it, but i have very little appetite" days
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reposted by David M Willis!
adam16bit.bsky.social's user avatar
Adam16bit @adam16bit.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Transformers Cyberworld is up on YouTube. For a short show to sell toys to kids, they did a good job with it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLVh...
header image - Transformers: CYBERWORLD | Episode 01 | Optimus Prime Crash Lands On CYBERWORLD
www.youtube.com
Transformers: CYBERWORLD | Episode 01 | Optimus Prime Crash Lands On CYBERWORLD
YouTube video by TRANSFORMERS OFFICIAL
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.instagram.com/p/DMAtlXHsyrO/ Took this as a challenge
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
finally done it, created a strip that defies instagram more than any strip ever before
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
not that giant of an axe actually a pretty modestly-sized axe
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