Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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July 11, 2026

Fistfight

by David M Willis on May 28, 2020 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - When It Crumbles
└ Tags: amber, becky, carla, dina, dorothy, malaya, paul, sal, sarah, walky

Discussion (159) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    May 28, 2020 at 12:02 am | #

    dude is just LOOKING for trouble by doing that instead of staying put

    • SuperZero
      SuperZero
      May 28, 2020 at 12:04 am | #

      On the one hand, it’s what they good guys did. On the other, why didn’t he do something about his bonds first?

      • Chaucer59
        Chaucer59
        May 28, 2020 at 12:45 am | #

        You’re expecting someone who assisted Blaine in a kidnapping scheme to engage in rational thought?

        • UncolaMan
          UncolaMan
          May 28, 2020 at 4:39 am | #

          He’s doing what worked for the boss: ditch everyone else when things go bad.

        • DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership
          DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership
          May 28, 2020 at 8:04 pm | #

          Same goes for most people who make prisons a necessity to society. It also doesn’t hurt for Malaya that he’s the ugliest one in the bunch, either.

          • Librain
            Librain
            May 29, 2020 at 6:09 am | #

            I’m not sure how private prison owning corporations are relevant here?

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        May 28, 2020 at 4:06 am | #

        Because the kidnappees had recent experience on how to not be bound with duct tape while the kidnappers had no such experience.

    • a/snow/mous/e
      a/snow/mous/e
      May 28, 2020 at 12:43 am | #

      This is an allegory for how we should stay at home lest the Marcievirus infect us.

      • a/snow/mous/e
        a/snow/mous/e
        May 28, 2020 at 12:44 am | #

        *Malayavirus gdi, i need to get my M’s straight

        • a/snow/mous/e
          a/snow/mous/e
          May 28, 2020 at 12:45 am | #

          (except they’re queer oops)

          • MIB4u
            MIB4u
            May 28, 2020 at 12:59 am | #

            I lol’d. XD

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          May 28, 2020 at 9:27 am | #

          The Malayavirus, or GDAMNIT-19, has a higher rate of mortality than most other girlviruses of its kind.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            May 28, 2020 at 1:28 pm | #

            And an asymptomatic dwell time of… *checks buffer watch* three months.

  2. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    May 28, 2020 at 12:02 am | #

    Sal/Carla OTP

    • jez2718
      jez2718
      May 28, 2020 at 12:03 am | #

      Beat me to it

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 28, 2020 at 12:06 am | #

      Shall we call it Sarla or Cal?

      • HeySo
        HeySo
        May 28, 2020 at 1:04 am | #

        I’m in favor of Carly (Carla + Sally). It seems to be the cutest pair name we can get from those two, and the alternatives (Sarla, Salra, Cal, Cally) are kinda.. iffy.

      • greatcontagion
        greatcontagion
        May 28, 2020 at 6:38 am | #

        I vote for Cal. So when you’re talking about it or see it in canon, it’s the Cal Zone.

        • anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
          anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
          May 28, 2020 at 8:40 am | #

          That pun is just so cheesy – Boooooo
          😉

          • HeySo
            HeySo
            May 30, 2020 at 10:00 am | #

            Cheesy is fine. Desirable, even.
            It’s when you realize there’s sausage involved that it gets.. weird.

    • Leadsynth
      Leadsynth
      May 28, 2020 at 10:04 pm | #

      I like to think that even tho Carla is ace af, she was still into touching Sal’s hips/butt during the motorcycle ride.

  3. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    May 28, 2020 at 12:03 am | #

    Ah, okay, so Carla’s there. Also, looks like Malaya may not have been nearby for the “Amber” mentions. Not that it’d make a big difference either way, I don’t see who she’d even mention it to.

    • He Who Abides
      He Who Abides
      May 28, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

      I doubt she’d care, honestly.

    • Tarnagh
      Tarnagh
      May 28, 2020 at 12:07 am | #

      It could be a good thing that Carla is there, considering who her parents are. Specifically how wealthy and influential they probably are.

  4. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    May 28, 2020 at 12:03 am | #

    MALAYA SMASH!

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      May 28, 2020 at 12:36 am | #

      Godammit Malay–… actually, no, I’m okay with this.

      • anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
        anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
        May 28, 2020 at 8:42 am | #

        Why not both?
        This is Malaya we are talking about after all.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          May 28, 2020 at 9:30 am | #

          GODDAMNIT, MALAYA! KICK HIS ASS!!

  5. ReFlex76
    ReFlex76
    May 28, 2020 at 12:04 am | #

    “God answers lesbian prayers.”

    As proven by the finale of She-ra and the Princesses of Power.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      May 28, 2020 at 12:06 am | #

      God’s a lesbian

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        May 28, 2020 at 4:07 am | #

        I find it highly probable She is.

        • Zaxares
          Zaxares
          May 28, 2020 at 5:28 am | #

          They say God loves everyone, so I’m more of the belief she’s a Pansexual. 😉

          • Caspar Mulders
            Caspar Mulders
            May 28, 2020 at 7:17 am | #

            Also, God is said to be all-seeing, which opens up a whole new can of creepy voyeurist theology.

            • anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
              anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
              May 28, 2020 at 8:43 am | #

              Where do you think mom powers originate when it comes to her kids?

            • Rabid Rabbit
              Rabid Rabbit
              May 28, 2020 at 10:55 am | #

              Uncle Randy’s got you covered: https://somethingpositive.net/sp04262010.shtml

            • Strangeshapes
              Strangeshapes
              May 28, 2020 at 11:10 pm | #

              Your avatar makes this comment.

      • abysswatcher1993
        abysswatcher1993
        May 28, 2020 at 2:43 pm | #

        I am an atheist/agnostic, so god’s existence in relationtion to gender and sexuality seems pointless.

        However, in the topic of she ra, it’s more like lesbianism is a form of magic that can defy reality like some gurren lagann will power drill, though this time the main couple doesn’t suffer what Simon and Mia suffered.

        • sharktrs
          sharktrs
          May 28, 2020 at 6:27 pm | #

          >lesbianism is a form of magic that can defy reality like some gurren lagann will power drill

          I suddenly feel an incredible urge to watch She-Ra

    • Pope William T Wodium
      Pope William T Wodium
      May 28, 2020 at 4:14 pm | #

      Screw you I haven’t seen it yet.

      • ReFlex76
        ReFlex76
        May 28, 2020 at 9:59 pm | #

        I didn’t reveal anything specific.

  6. CMasta
    CMasta
    May 28, 2020 at 12:04 am | #

    Serious Ghostbuster vibes from Carla’s line.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 28, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

      Carla never needs to question whether she’s a deity, she was born knowing.

      The awesomeness of Sal’s motorbike however, is something that must be experienced firsthand.

  7. Lawzlo
    Lawzlo
    May 28, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

    But don’t feed your Malaya after midnight or get water on her.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 28, 2020 at 12:08 am | #

      My favorite Malaya from Malaya 2 was the Bat-Malaya, but the Vegetable-Malaya was cool too.

      • He Who Abides
        He Who Abides
        May 28, 2020 at 6:59 pm | #

        The Brain-Malaya was the best! How could you forget about her!?

    • AntJ
      AntJ
      May 28, 2020 at 12:23 am | #

      or else… https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/beforesunrise/

  8. Bunny
    Bunny
    May 28, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

    It’s nice to see Malaya’s good for something.

    • Makkabee
      Makkabee
      May 28, 2020 at 7:19 am | #

      She’s responsible for bringing Fuckface to campus.

  9. Puckish Rogue
    Puckish Rogue
    May 28, 2020 at 12:07 am | #

    Well sure Malaya if you really want to be arrested by the cops then have at it but since hes posing no threat and is tied up you could just drop him to ground instead

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      May 28, 2020 at 12:31 am | #

      She can’t drop him to the ground with a punch? 😛

    • Puckish Rogue
      Puckish Rogue
      May 28, 2020 at 1:22 am | #

      I’m not a legal expert but if you were in court could you justify why Malaya punched the guy to the ground instead of tripping/throwing/dragging etc etc him down given that his arms and legs are tied up and hes blindfolded

      Not saying he doesn’t deserve a good hiding but if he was to fall to the ground and sustain something serious like a broken nose or fractured skull or something then Malaya could find herself having to face charges

      • Ophidiophile
        Ophidiophile
        May 28, 2020 at 2:58 am | #

        Well, he is blindfolded, and with Sal gone, who is going to identify her as his attacker?

        Plus, this is Malaya; she’s as likely to lay him out as she is to just lay him.

        • Caspar Mulders
          Caspar Mulders
          May 28, 2020 at 7:19 am | #

          Or both. In that order. With equal malice.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          May 28, 2020 at 3:36 pm | #

          He isn’t blindfolded, he is still wearing his bad guy mask.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          May 28, 2020 at 6:26 pm | #

          ‘”I know you’re an accomplice to murder and kidnapping, but you’re not fakey, right?”

      • Victor
        Victor
        May 28, 2020 at 9:23 am | #

        It’s easily justifiable. He’s under arrest (having committed a felony in the presence of a citizen, and attempting to commit another felony (escape) in Malaya’s presence), she can use reasonable force to stop him.

        Shooting him would be excessive force, a punch would not be. A curbstomping once he’s on the ground would be excessive force.

        Keep in mind that this guy is now on the hook for kidnapping and felony murder. Nobody is going to prosecute Malaya for stopping him.

    • Segnosaur
      Segnosaur
      May 28, 2020 at 2:59 am | #

      Technically an over-eager or misguided prosecutor might try to have Malaya if she hits the guy. But I don’t think she would have problems defending herself…

      1) the man she was hitting was a violent criminal 2) one of his co-conspirators had already escaped and taken a hostage 3) the former kidnap victims had escaped by faking that they were still tied up so it’s possible that this guy is doing the same. All that might give her a “worried for my safety” defense.

      • Puckish Rogue
        Puckish Rogue
        May 28, 2020 at 4:38 am | #

        I guess the real issue for me is the idea that it’s ok to beat up on the guy thats basically helpless, that can’t defend himself (and yeah I’d want to smack him around as well) yet when the police assault a criminal (or alleged criminal) its considered police brutality (and rightfully so)

        I just think its kind of telling what we’d do if there weren’t any consequences for our actions…

        • Sam
          Sam
          May 28, 2020 at 7:01 am | #

          If there weren’t any consequences for our actions (legally speaking), then most people would still opt to be moral and wouldn’t turn into violent people or murderers overnight. It’s the already violent, immoral and uncaring, who only hold themselves back because going to jail would be inconvenient, or that don’t have the power to get away with it, that would be the problem.

          Malaya already has a violent disposition and a lack of care about the law, I don’t feel surprised that she would think beating up a defenseless person with more force than necessary to stop them is fine (we know he is 100% guilty which makes it seem more understandable to us too but if we weren’t sure, we’d likely see that as too far regardless). Malaya is already not the most moral, kind or pleasant person.

          If the law was removed from the equation though, people like Dorothy and Walky still wouldn’t be going around starting fights or anything though. Because they’re not fighty people and have no desire to get into them. It wouldn’t radically change good people into bad people if there were no consequences. It would just give the people that were already inclined to act out in bad ways the freedom to.

          Which wouldn’t necessarily be people with murderous ideation (which no one who suffers from it asks for) or anger problems (which comes with many mental illnesses) or impulse control problems (again, comes with many mental illnesses). It’d be people with loose or no morals that would give themselves permission to act out. Because like, if there was no law right now, would you go out and just start a fight? Probably not. For pretty much all the same reasons you wouldn’t with the law in place.

          What ‘we’ would do is stay pretty much the same though maybe be more lax on things we thought were stupid as a society in the first place and already pretty much disregarded. What Malaya would do is probably deck a few extra people that she doesn’t like. What someone like Blaine obsessed with control and maintaining power would do would be incomprehendable, because he already wants to do bad things and get away with it (even if normally he is too stupid to guarantee his getting away with it).

          • Puckish Rogue
            Puckish Rogue
            May 28, 2020 at 7:51 am | #

            Its why I like games like skyrim and fallout new vegas, because there are no consequences yet I still find myself playing in a moral way

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          May 28, 2020 at 8:01 am | #

          Police are heavily armed and hold authority. They need to be held to higher standards than regular citizens because of that.

          • anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
            anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
            May 28, 2020 at 8:54 am | #

            Yet they now have this new thing called “Qualified Immunity”.
            Also they don’t actually have to know the law, just think they know the law.
            It is how imaginary charges like “recording me doing bad stuff” are dropped yet “resisting arrest” will still be prosecuted.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              May 28, 2020 at 10:22 am | #

              Well, I’m speaking more in terms of how they should be treated, rather than our current reality.

    • CMasta
      CMasta
      May 28, 2020 at 4:30 pm | #

      Malaya getting arrested for assault is the storyline I’ve been craving.

      Go for it.

  10. Miri
    Miri
    May 28, 2020 at 12:07 am | #

    I thought Malaya was about to punch out Walky for a moment… I prefer this outcome 😁

    • Puckish Rogue
      Puckish Rogue
      May 28, 2020 at 12:08 am | #

      I’d be ok with it

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      May 28, 2020 at 12:08 am | #

      I think Walky thought that, too.

  11. General Tekno
    General Tekno
    May 28, 2020 at 12:08 am | #

    Name of the next book, I see?

  12. Keulen
    Keulen
    May 28, 2020 at 12:13 am | #

    I don’t know why but I assumed they were all gonna go after Blaine somehow. I guess I kinda forgot that they only have Sal’s motorcycle to chase his van with.

    • Ray Radlein
      Ray Radlein
      May 28, 2020 at 12:31 am | #

      I sort of thought that Carla might hang on to the back of the bike with her skates and get towed along, which would be hella stupid and dangerous, of course

      • HeySo
        HeySo
        May 28, 2020 at 1:06 am | #

        Well, it was already implied that Malaya did that same routine with a skateboard on the way there. 😛

  13. Hex Hornet
    Hex Hornet
    May 28, 2020 at 12:15 am | #

    Malaya’s not herself when she’s hungr– oh, wait. She’s TOTALLY herself right now.

  14. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    May 28, 2020 at 12:17 am | #

    No offense to Becky but I don’t know how I feel about god on this one. I mean one of the main bad guys believed god was working through him and now he’s dead and I don’t know it that was good or bad.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      May 28, 2020 at 12:28 am | #

      Remember that when we’re talking about an all-powerful being who controls everything in their PARTICULAR universe, we’re talking about Willis.

      (I’m pretty sure I remember the origin of the line being a blogpost on the DoA Tumblr back after the first car chase about how important it was that Becky not be fridged or Very Special Episoded as a step for Joyce’s development. And in specific, how THIS God responded to Becky’s trouble by sending a superhero, a badass lady, and her best friend on a motorcycle to rescue her.)

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        May 28, 2020 at 12:36 am | #

        So is this in reference to everytime someone mentions god it’s Willis or just Becky? I mean I know he creates the comic and for all purposes is god to the characters but it kind of just makes me uncomfortable to have Ross justifying his actions in the name of Willis.

        • HeySo
          HeySo
          May 28, 2020 at 1:08 am | #

          Willis has been cursed for less. 😛

          Well, in the previous universe, they always invoked The Cheese in place of God, so there’s also that consideration. Not that that carried over to DoA, but I somewhow imagine Walky still manages to keep to the faith. 😛

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        May 28, 2020 at 1:43 am | #

        Willis was referring back to what Becky said immediately before she and Dina kissed for the first time.

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          May 28, 2020 at 9:42 am | #

          Forgot that, thanks!

      • deathjavu
        deathjavu
        May 28, 2020 at 8:01 am | #

        I think this was most relevant when Ethan was apologizing to God for spending his Bar mitzvah (?) money on expensive transformers. And all I could think was “it’s ok Ethan, your universe’s God understands completely.”

    • HeySo
      HeySo
      May 28, 2020 at 1:17 am | #

      Honestly, “evil* was punished, and no good people had to infringe upon their morality to accomplish the task” seems like the best justification *for* an interfering God.

      *(Using the interpretation of “any entity which is willfully or irrationally destructive, or is significantly antagonistic to the instrinsic moral rights of others”, not the “anything antagonistic to a given ethos” one)

      Meanwhile, “someone used [X]’s name to commit evil, without any sort of clear validation by [X] that such a usage of their name was agreeable, and thereby [X] is at fault” is really one of the most senseless arguments against religion, given that the logic is readily transferrable to address non-deific entities and just doesn’t hold up when reframed and analyized.

      Put more clearly: If I start kidnapping people in your name, you probably wouldn’t be okay with the fault of that practice being attributed to you, either. 😛

  15. brumagem
    brumagem
    May 28, 2020 at 12:17 am | #

    I appreciate willis for having the forethought to put a page of levity in between all the stressful pages

    • Puckish Rogue
      Puckish Rogue
      May 28, 2020 at 1:23 am | #

      Is that sarcasm?

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        May 28, 2020 at 3:40 pm | #

        No, it looks like it is Brumagem.

  16. Tan
    Tan
    May 28, 2020 at 12:17 am | #

    When God closes a van, he opens the door of an AirBnB. To violence.

  17. TomHCinMI
    TomHCinMI
    May 28, 2020 at 12:27 am | #

    We should know that guy’s name, shouldn’t we?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      May 28, 2020 at 12:29 am | #

      I mean, he’s probably appeared enough times to merit it?

      But also, eeeeh.

      • Jamie
        Jamie
        May 28, 2020 at 12:33 am | #

        “Hoppy Dude”.

        • AGV
          AGV
          May 28, 2020 at 3:10 am | #

          Malaya’s punching bag

    • Makkabee
      Makkabee
      May 28, 2020 at 7:17 am | #

      *tosses tied-up guy in pool*

      “Bob.”

      • Miri
        Miri
        May 28, 2020 at 8:08 am | #

        “… Make that Bob Briefly.”

      • Chris
        Chris
        May 28, 2020 at 5:16 pm | #

        *Lays him out in front of the door*

        “Matt.”

  18. PB
    PB
    May 28, 2020 at 12:30 am | #

    I never thought I’d say this but:

    Thank you, Malaya.

    • Makkabee
      Makkabee
      May 28, 2020 at 7:16 am | #

      It’s okay to support the bad person against the worse person.

  19. Regalli
    Regalli
    May 28, 2020 at 12:30 am | #

    Is this the first time we’ve had ‘God answers lesbian prayers’ directly in strip, or did it come up in a church scene of Becky’s before now as well?

    In any case, my vote for Dumbing of Age Book 10 title. Just vague and lighthearted enough not to be a spoiler.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      May 28, 2020 at 1:29 am | #

      Becky said it when Dina commanded Becky to kiss her.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        May 28, 2020 at 9:42 am | #

        Ah, thanks! The downside of so many years of continuity, I need to do a deep reread sometime.

        • bibulb
          bibulb
          May 28, 2020 at 2:32 pm | #

          Likewise – I was all like, “that SOUNDS familiar, but is it actually a callback or is it just catchy?”

  20. BBCC
    BBCC
    May 28, 2020 at 12:30 am | #

    God I love Malaya.

    And awwww, Carla. Way to feed Cerberus’ ship.

  21. Rikunda
    Rikunda
    May 28, 2020 at 12:31 am | #

    Damn… She didn’t even need to know the guy was bad.

    • Some1
      Some1
      May 28, 2020 at 12:35 am | #

      I mean, he’s tied up and was in the house. If he wasn’t bad they would have untied him.

      • HeySo
        HeySo
        May 28, 2020 at 1:17 am | #

        Don’t you judge other people’s kinks. 🙁

        • a/snow/mous/e
          a/snow/mous/e
          May 28, 2020 at 7:32 pm | #

          +1

  22. BigDogLittleCat
    BigDogLittleCat
    May 28, 2020 at 12:34 am | #

    Am I allowed to say this is getting silly? What was tense and scary is now a clown car with all these people showing up.
    Except the police. How the eff far away is the police station? Are they walking? And where are the neighbors? It’s after 7:15AM and no one’s noticed the weird shit going on at the empty house? Is everyone taking the day off and sleeping in? Any DeSanto fans in the neighborhood checking their twitter?

    • HeySo
      HeySo
      May 28, 2020 at 12:59 am | #

      It was *never* tense and scary, though. The framing, flow, etc, was never designed to support such. Honestly, the fact that someone died was startling given everything, though that was played off casually as well. In other words, it’s not “getting” silly, it was silly (and intended to be such) start to finish.
      (It is a bit disappointing, honestly, given that past drama scenes were more, well, dramatic. Can’t say this doesn’t fit the general DoA tone, but it really loses any meaningful narrative impact with this kind of presentation.)

      Police are about 3 minutes out from the Uni. Not sure we have any idea yet where this house is, though, so it may be further out. Given the implication that it took a bit of time for Amber or Sal to reach the house from the Uni, that’s probably the case.

      Also, noone pays any attention to what their neighbors are doing in the US, unless it’s keeping them from sleeping. What weird area do you live in where that’s not the case? 😛

      As far as the time, do we know what time of week it is? It could be that it’s a weekend. In most areas I’ve lived I rarely saw anyone out before 10 on Saturdays, or 1 on Sundays, excluding church-goers [though you would expect those to be leaving for 8:00 service around now, sure]. As far as weekedays.. yeah, okay, that’s an odd time for noone to be out and about. Even for those not prepping for pre-Uni education or work, that’s prime time for morning dog walking.

      Then again, maybe the neighborhood is aware that it’s a mob house, and just turns a blind eye?

      As far as the last bit, it’d be Becky fans that we’d want, considering that she’s the face of “The New DeSanto”. I imagine anyone calling themself a “DeSanto fan” would still be a conservative or someone who isn’t invested enough in the feed to distinguish between Becky and DeSanto, and neither seems well-suited for providing a timely assist.

      Further, it’s only been a few seconds since the tweet went up, if it’s even up yet. Not EVERY neighborhood has diehard phone-huggers that are ALSO willing to be up early in the morning.

      • Puckish Rogue
        Puckish Rogue
        May 28, 2020 at 1:26 am | #

        Thats a shame thought (about the silliness) because you think back to Joyces drugging and that was well done, suspenseful and not at all silly which, to me anyway, meant it meant something important

        • Mopey
          Mopey
          May 28, 2020 at 9:08 am | #

          Joyce’s drugging wasn’t a lapse into action or thriller, though, it was just drama. DoA is great as a mix of drama and goofyness, sometimes leaning heavily on one or the other.

          The action sequences have always been a bit out of place and this sequence in particular is like having a multi-episode kidnapping plotline in an episode of Friends.

          • Mopey
            Mopey
            May 28, 2020 at 9:11 am | #

            (Not saying that alternate timeline version of Friends wouldn’t have been enjoyable, just a bit off-brand)

          • HeySo
            HeySo
            May 30, 2020 at 10:04 am | #

            Not really sure about the accuracy of the comparison, never having been into Friends (or sitcoms in general), but that’s overall more-or-less in line with my sentiments, yeah. It’s out of place, but- unlike previous drama arcs- still tries to hold to the same comedy vibe, and the whole thing just..

            Okay, so: The previous drama arcs were like going to a pie party and realizing there’s suddenly meat [or, I dunno, cheese & potatoes for us vegetarians] pie being served. Unexpected, out-of-place, but tasty and well prepared.

            This here, now, feels more like a meat pie with, I dunno, peaches inside and a sugar glaze. It’s surprisingly okay, but even so it’s just.. I’m pretty okay just getting back to the normal pies, y’know? The change of pace was nice for a moment, but now it really just feels.. off.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        May 28, 2020 at 8:15 am | #

        It’s a Wednesday – one day per chapter (barring timeskips). Joyce skipped church back in Vote for Robin.

        I do wonder if Willis may have overcompensated here, given the seriousness of the events and the warnings he gave at the start of this plot. Kept the tone light in many places to keep it from being overwhelming, but enough so that it was hard for some to take serious.

        • HeySo
          HeySo
          May 30, 2020 at 10:05 am | #

          “Kept the tone light in many places to keep it from being overwhelming, but enough so that it was hard for some to take serious.”

          Exactly that, yes. :X

    • Johnny Austin
      Johnny Austin
      May 28, 2020 at 1:43 am | #

      I’ve been kidnapped and the cops didn’t bother to show.
      (I talked my assailants into taking me to safety. My hands were free, I was going to murder the driver)
      That night my mum took me to the cop shop and the officer there tried very hard to force me to make s statement saying I had gotten in the car willingly.

      There is a reason that many have little respect for police.
      It is the same reason police resist having “always on” body cameras.

      If police actions were filmed and uploaded to a remote server managed by a seperate organization it would serve the course of justice better.

      Though the staff turnover of the police would be higher the result would be a better, safer public service.

      • HeySo
        HeySo
        May 30, 2020 at 10:12 am | #

        Heh, my experiences with police were even more blatantly awful. I’ve had individuals who- with full comittment and seriousness- attempted murder on me after breaking into my home, who then bribed the police to falsify charges against me, despite all evidence to the contrary and the fact that state laws explicitly prohibit filing charges against those engaging in self-defense [any act within your own property or in defense of another individual is automatically assumed to be self-defense, unless evidence can be presented to the contrary]. Nevermind there wasn’t grounds to file on me in the first place- I mean, all the other reasons aside- given that the other party wasn’t at all injured (aside from self-inflicted wounds he did as justification, which was easy to prove as being self-inflicted, given that it only matched to his weapon and was in an improbably location for me to have done it), unlike myself and my damaged house. The cop even said to my face- and this should be an exact quote- that “I’m a cop. I can do anything I want. You better shut up, or this’ll get worse for you.”

        Not even remotely the only incidence of police corruption in the states I’ve come across (or had presented against myself), but certainly the most absurd. But then, in most regions we hire with limited training, no psychological testing of any meaning, absolutely zero oversight, and pervasive supporting corruption within the supporting judicial systems. It’s just a government-supported mafia, and anyone who believes differently has led a blessed, fortunate, damn lucky life. And probably isn’t black [not that I myself am, so don’t mistake police corruption as being purely racist in basis. It’s just usually more flagrant (and lethal) when racism gets added in.]

    • Segnosaur
      Segnosaur
      May 28, 2020 at 2:47 am | #

      Well neighbors probably didn’t notice since most of the commotion would have been inside. The kidnapping of Joyce and Blaine’s fleeing to the van probably only took a couple of minutes, not much time for neighbors to notice.

      As for the cops… Assuming they are competent (i.e. not lazy, and the ones being bribed are not interfering)… It may have only been 5 or 10 minutes since they were called (the only events that we know have passed since the cops were called was a short conversation on the porch, a few minutes in the basement and the escape). It is possible the police have fewer officers on duty in the early morning (when you might expect less crime) and they may not be stationed near a neighborhood which is usually low crime.

    • SuperFroakie82
      SuperFroakie82
      May 28, 2020 at 2:51 am | #

      Yeah, I feel like most of the actual tenseness and fear of the situation for me was the police arriving and screwing everything up even further, but that possibility is starting to seem less and less likely to me.

    • aelfwine
      aelfwine
      May 28, 2020 at 10:06 am | #

      “Am I allowed to say this is getting silly? What was tense and scary is now a clown car with all these people showing up.”

      Yes. I’m with you on this one. The storyline is supposed to have like what, 2 more weeks to go? Whatever happens in the end of it, whether Blaine is free, or captured, or dead — I think that narrative purpose could have been better accomplished without a Joyce-in-a-van subplot or a motorcycle-chase sequence.

      The May 22 strip could have alternatively just had Blaine dropping Joyce and fleeing by himself. I lost my patience with the storyline very soon after that.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 28, 2020 at 2:30 pm | #

      Anything involving Amazi-Girl or Blaine is going to end up going silly.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      May 28, 2020 at 4:46 pm | #

      The cops took longer to get to the kidnapping they were called at the beginning of than they have taken here, where they were called when it was supposedly over.

  23. cartoogle
    cartoogle
    May 28, 2020 at 12:36 am | #

    Long sleeve crop top jackets are weirdly fashionable in this town.

  24. Some1
    Some1
    May 28, 2020 at 12:43 am | #

    A tiny part of me hopes that Malaya actually somehow manages to lose this fight. It would be really funny if, for all her posturing, it turned out that Malaya actually sucked at fighting to an absurd degree.

  25. bcb
    bcb
    May 28, 2020 at 12:49 am | #

    I’m tired and confused: who is the hopping person in the penultimate panel?

    • Romanticide
      Romanticide
      May 28, 2020 at 12:52 am | #

      one of the minion kidnappers, quite smart of him to flee the scene but this was his unlucky day hehe 😛

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      May 28, 2020 at 1:03 am | #

      It’s just some random fucking idiot.

      • abacuswizard
        abacuswizard
        May 28, 2020 at 5:18 am | #

        petition to get “just some random fucking idiot” added to the list of character tags

        • Makkabee
          Makkabee
          May 28, 2020 at 7:14 am | #

          *signs abacuswizard’s petition*

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          May 28, 2020 at 9:40 am | #

          I’m on board with that.

          And hell, Buckets of Blood Guy’s in the tags as such, so why not?

  26. Hazel
    Hazel
    May 28, 2020 at 1:01 am | #

    Malaya had gender talks with Carla last night and is operating on little sleep. Dysphoria anger is going into this fistfight, guaranteed.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 28, 2020 at 1:48 am | #

      Day before yesterday, actually, though no doubt she’s still feelin’ it.

  27. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    May 28, 2020 at 2:06 am | #

    “God answers lesbian prayers” is officially Becky’s best quote.

    Go get him, Malaya! Punch him where it hurts.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 28, 2020 at 9:36 am | #

      Before, she said it with relief, and a little awe, like she didn’t quite believe it was true. Now, she states it with the confidence of experience, like it is a known quantity.

  28. Bagge
    Bagge
    May 28, 2020 at 2:41 am | #

    You have to wonder how the “Mr. Rapist is our bro”-bros imagined this whole debacle would work out for them.

    Getting punched in the dick by Malaya seems about right.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      May 28, 2020 at 5:32 am | #

      Those types always assume everything will go their way.

  29. TheFlamingonator
    TheFlamingonator
    May 28, 2020 at 4:56 am | #

    wait if malaya is hungry why is she feeding someone else knuckle sandwiches?

  30. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    May 28, 2020 at 5:31 am | #

    Let the Malaya beat up a perpetrator a little.

    As a treat.

  31. Alan in DC
    Alan in DC
    May 28, 2020 at 6:25 am | #

    Is there enough visual information in these frames to venture a guess as to where the action might be taking place?
    We’ve got a wide street or short parking lot, a multistory brick building, a turquoise cottage-style house with concrete steps, and a long road presumably with no stop signs or traffic lights.
    Diehard DoA fans have successfully pinned down locales working with less.

  32. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    May 28, 2020 at 7:06 am | #

    Malaya don’t like waste time. And Carla has a point.

  33. Makkabee
    Makkabee
    May 28, 2020 at 7:13 am | #

    “When Sal asks you if you want a motorcycle ride, you say yes.”

    Truer spokes were never whirred.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 28, 2020 at 9:50 am | #

      Ray: Sal the Walkerton! Good Evening! As a duly appointed representative of the city of Bloomington, I hereby order to get back on your bike, and return forthwith to your plane of origin, or the nearest convenient parallel dimension!

      Sal: … Do you want a motorcycle ride?

      Ray: Uh… no?

      Sal: Then GTFOOMW, nerds!

      *revs bike, peels out straight through the Ghostbusters, knocking them akimbo*

      Winston: *stumbling to his feet* Ray… if Sal asks you if you want a motorcycle ride, YOU SAY YESSS!!!

    • Strangeshapes
      Strangeshapes
      May 28, 2020 at 11:22 pm | #

      Ray, when someone asks if you are a god who grants lesbian prayers, you say YES!

  34. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    May 28, 2020 at 7:34 am | #

    Study question: Our guy waiting to be on the receiving end of Malaya’s fists is wearing red.

    If he’s a minor character who will suffer while wearing red, but in service of the villain, is he a redshirt, or merely a henchman?

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 28, 2020 at 9:52 am | #

      He is Marked. As Malaya’s designated prey.

  35. Sombrero
    Sombrero
    May 28, 2020 at 7:35 am | #

    When Sal asks you anything, you say yes and enjoy.

  36. hof1991
    hof1991
    May 28, 2020 at 8:36 am | #

    Now we hope the cops don’t arrive right now. If they see a brown woman beating a tied up white boy, things would go south fast. Stand your ground and self-defense don’t apply then.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      May 28, 2020 at 10:26 am | #

      What is legally allowed for a citizen to detain an attacker who is now attempting to flee?

      He’s bound and not a significant threat, so self-defense doesn’t apply as you suggest, but is any force allowed to keep him from hopping away or freeing himself? Even tripping him, as someone suggested above, or just grabbing him count as assault.

      • NelC
        NelC
        May 28, 2020 at 12:22 pm | #

        IANAL, let alone a US one, but the usual standard is “reasonable force”, with the legal apparatus using their discretion on what is reasonable in edge cases.

        Tripping might not be “reasonable”, but no-one’s going to want to take it to court. Beating up a bound man, on the other hand, the police might not care about, but I could see going to a civil case.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          May 28, 2020 at 2:53 pm | #

          But a bound person actively in the process of escape isn’t quite the same as a just beating on a bound person lying there. She’s probably alright as long as she stops when he stops fleeing.

          Of course, it is Malaya.

  37. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    May 28, 2020 at 9:59 am | #

    I KNEW Malaya came because she was promised punchings! I mean, why else would she care?

    It’s not like she wants to hang out with Sal, or anything.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      May 28, 2020 at 2:54 pm | #

      What I find a nice touch is that Sarah asks Carla why she came. No one asks Malaya, but she answers anyway. Subtle, but nice characterization all around.

  38. davidbreslin101
    davidbreslin101
    May 28, 2020 at 10:48 am | #

    Alt text- historically speaking, the British government fed their Malaya with most of northern Borneo, thus creating the modern state of Malaysia. (Their Malaya got too full so she puked up Singapore a couple of years later.)

  39. RedComet
    RedComet
    May 28, 2020 at 12:21 pm | #

    Walky is no longer pretending to be ok….

  40. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    May 28, 2020 at 12:57 pm | #

    Feed her what, blood and bones ?

  41. Juanoku
    Juanoku
    May 28, 2020 at 1:07 pm | #

    I legit think Carla and Dina would be good friends
    To an extent

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 28, 2020 at 1:33 pm | #

      Ace solidarity!

  42. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    May 28, 2020 at 1:24 pm | #

    Where are Sal’s gloves and jacket? Where’s Amber’s helmet?

    ATGATT, ladies, ATGATT! Somebody needs to take the MSF course.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      May 28, 2020 at 2:56 pm | #

      “I’m sorry, I can’t go help rescue Joyce. No helmet. You’ll have to engage in dangerous heroics on your own.”

  43. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    May 28, 2020 at 2:39 pm | #

    Malayas bastitchness is used properly this time. YOU AREN’T CONSTRAINING ME NOW, WILLIS! I FOUND A LOOPHOLE! HAHAHA!

    Bastitches gotta beat up kidnapping jocks.

  44. Vukodlak
    Vukodlak
    May 28, 2020 at 3:20 pm | #

    Hopefully Amber will get through this high speed chase without being hit by car. She should still be in pain from the last one.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      May 28, 2020 at 3:50 pm | #

      Well, if they were smart, they would just follow and direct the police in, but come on, we all know which comic this is.

  45. Raen
    Raen
    May 28, 2020 at 8:54 pm | #

    “God answers lesbian prayers.”

    Hell, Ellen’s got his number.

  46. hallucigenia
    hallucigenia
    May 29, 2020 at 3:08 pm | #

    Here’s hoping Malaya finds Faz.

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
YOLOPARK DINOBOT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Look, goose women coexisting with humans, fine. Goose women with heads the size of a human torso, that I'm having trouble with
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
ALL sessions with Beetle Bailey are Private sessions, nyuk nyuk
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Jon: *grinning* are you doing adorable cat things? Garfield: yes Jon: this disgusts me, apparently
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
did he tho (no)
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reposted by David M Willis!
bogwitch-girl.bsky.social's user avatar
Bog Witch Girl @bogwitch-girl.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
after a very frustrating call with Visa (US+CAN), I was told that Visa would like inquiries relating to using their bargaining power to destroy adult media to be sent, via email, to askvisa@visa.com they asked. to be sent. emails. you know what to do.
iantos.bsky.social's user avatarIantos @iantos.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Maybe we could find out. Mastercard (US): 1-800-627-8372 Mastercard (Int.): +1-636-722-7111 Visa (US + Can): 1 800 847 2911 Visa (AUS): 1 800 125 440 PayPal: +44-0203-901-7000
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Charles ENTRAPMENT Cheese! HE WAS SET UP
phillewis.bsky.social's user avatarPhil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
A Chuck E. Cheese employee in full costume was arrested by Tallahassee officers for credit card fraud www.tallahassee.com/story/news/l...
A police officer arrests Chuck E Cheese while children watch in the background
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
....unleash my potential as the side-eyeing monkey puppet????????? how did they know
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Mfw my power is unlimited
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Hasbro Star Wars Black Series 6” Mace Windu & Darth Sidious 2-pack.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
FLY GUY
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
SDCC 2025: NECA Sesame Street.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
ABYSS RAIN the most emo stegosaurus of all time, not that that's a high bar
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Finally gonna make something of myself
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reposted by David M Willis!
queensunflowers.bsky.social's user avatar
Queen Sunflower (She/Her) 29 @queensunflowers.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
we're treating this as explicit permission, btw. Not cheating anymore, he told them to do it!!!
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
The answer may surprise you! but it shouldn't
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