Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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June 1, 2026

Stringbean

by David M Willis on August 20, 2021 at 12:01 am
  • 05 – As Long As It's Free
└ Tags: becky, dorothy, jason, joyce, ruth, sal

Discussion (175) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    August 20, 2021 at 12:03 am | #

    I guess turning it around and straddling it isn’t an option

    So… you’re sitting in a chair the wrong way

    • Librain
      Librain
      August 22, 2021 at 2:40 pm | #

      Turning it around and straddling it is basically my go-to life hack for just about anything and everything…

      And everyone…

  2. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    August 20, 2021 at 12:03 am | #

    Becky: You need something to idly toss into the air and catch in a bored manner, like a ball or hackysack or hat.

    • Felix
      Felix
      August 20, 2021 at 1:10 am | #

      exactly.

      • Clif
        Clif
        August 20, 2021 at 5:05 am | #

        Actually, doing just about anything in a bored manner would work. From smoking to juggling chainsaws. Its the bored part that sells it.

  3. Wagstaff
    Wagstaff
    August 20, 2021 at 12:04 am | #

    Don’t worry Becky! You’re getting there!

    And if you can’t sit in a chair wrong, you can always toss and turn in your bed at the mercy of your strands of nucleic acid!!!

    • Dara
      Dara
      August 20, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

      She’s trying so hard, she’ll figure it out xD

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      August 20, 2021 at 9:21 am | #

      It’s the deoxyribose that ruins it all, actually.

  4. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    August 20, 2021 at 12:04 am | #

    You don’t know the half of it, Jason.

    Handcuffing you to the door? That’s like a two on the Ruthless scale. Pray you never see ten.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      August 20, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

      What’s a two-femur removal rank on that scale?

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        August 20, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

        Nothing. 0. That means Ruth’s done with you.

  5. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    August 20, 2021 at 12:05 am | #

    Well this party got way less cool and it’s not just because Sal left.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      August 20, 2021 at 12:05 am | #

      is it the bowtie or the sitting?

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        August 20, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

        Jason in general kinda lowers the coolness level by at least two points. Sal would even that out but she’s left and the coolness is sinking with every passing second.

        Becky is actually pretty close to being a bit cool there. I think she just needs a prop. Like if she was playing a handheld gaming system or had her phone, or even eating a slice of cake, that would present a certain “I don’t care how I sit while I’m doing shit.” aloofness that’s cool.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          August 20, 2021 at 4:12 am | #

          Amber could have that covered, but social gatherings are kind of her kryptonite.

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          August 20, 2021 at 1:22 pm | #

          She should actually take one leg off the chair and play a handheld. Her posture would then be screaming about how shes better than needing this chair, but she’s gonna use it for herself anyways, just because.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            August 20, 2021 at 2:27 pm | #

            I think that was a reference to their most recent Superb Owl ad.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              August 20, 2021 at 2:28 pm | #

              This was supposed to be a comment to your other comment on my other comment. Dangit.

              • Demoted Oblivious
                Demoted Oblivious
                August 20, 2021 at 4:44 pm | #

                Noted. Fickle are the comment reply daemons.

  6. Nono
    Nono
    August 20, 2021 at 12:05 am | #

    …why IS Ruth here? Not like she’s required to supervise every party in the dorm and she’s not friends with anybody present.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      August 20, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

      She outright says Joyce invited her in the second panel.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      August 20, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

      because she was invited and is friendsish with most of the cast

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        August 20, 2021 at 9:24 am | #

        And because she possesses empathy.

        Or so we are led to believe

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      August 20, 2021 at 12:29 am | #

      I mean, I think Becky considers her a friend, even if Ruth doesn’t entirely reciprocate. If nothing else, it’s clear Ruth is extremely important to Becky, in part because of how much Ruth’s struggles (what she knows of them, anyway) hit close to home for her. She’s an orphan, like Becky is. She was– and still might be, or could become again– suicidal, like Bonnie was.

      And I think that Ruth, no matter how much she tries to distance herself as an authority figure from the people under her, recognizes that connection on some level.

      • DailyBrad
        DailyBrad
        August 20, 2021 at 2:32 am | #

        I think Ruth likes Becky alright, she probably just doesn’t know her especially well. Not like she knows any of them that intimately, really, I guess, outside of Jennifer/Billie of course, or to an extent Amber, neither of whom are there yet.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        August 20, 2021 at 4:23 am | #

        It also helps that Becky is impervious to Ruth’s looming.

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2021/comic/book-11/03-see-you-in-the-funny-page/headed/

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          August 20, 2021 at 1:24 pm | #

          Pepsi? A freakin’ PEPSI?!

    • sultryglebe
      sultryglebe
      August 20, 2021 at 1:22 am | #

      Ruth does have some thoughts on parental loss, and Jason knows something about bad dads.

    • Xaeon
      Xaeon
      August 20, 2021 at 9:04 am | #

      I have the feeling that Ruth genuinely likes most of the main cast. She tries to keep them at a distance because being close to people tends to not work out well for her.

    • zee
      zee
      August 20, 2021 at 11:55 am | #

      I mean, who better to help deal with the birthday of a passed parent? She can honestly probably give some legit advice

  7. Cmasta1992
    Cmasta1992
    August 20, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

    I don’t get Sal being jealous here. She boinked Jason once, failed the class because she still didn’t get the material and he got fired. All things considered she’s at worst come out at neutral

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      August 20, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

      Twice, and she actually didn’t end up failing the class (although no credit to Jason on that score, it was Danny who ended up really helping her).

    • MrSmith
      MrSmith
      August 20, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

      Possibly misplaced anger, she knows she messed up (as did he) but sometimes its easier to place all the blame on the other person

      Or not

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        August 20, 2021 at 1:05 am | #

        Also, Jason was obligated to turn her down. He took advantage.

        • MrSmith
          MrSmith
          August 20, 2021 at 1:26 am | #

          He certainly was, just as she was obligated to not flash her tatas at him and freely offer up sexy times in return for good grades (is that prostitution?)

          I’m not going to condemn Jason too much over this though because its quite easy in theory to say that yes you’ll turn down the hot chick but its quite another when the hot chick is right there with her norks out freely offering it up to you

          He should have resisted the big temptation and he didn’t and he got fired for it which seems an appropriate action for him and nothing official for Sal

          However part of my viewpoint also takes note of his young age, no wife/girlfriend and he didn’t change her grades

          • FaerwenOfValenwood
            FaerwenOfValenwood
            August 20, 2021 at 3:34 am | #

            Um.

            • MrSmith
              MrSmith
              August 20, 2021 at 5:36 am | #

              I’m not saying he didn’t mess up (he did) and I’m not saying he didn’t deserve to be fired (he did)

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                August 20, 2021 at 9:40 am | #

                Ethically, I don’t care that two adults boned. Professionally, it is a major component of Jason’s job that he not fuck students and even if a student rips her shirt off and jumps on top of him, it is Jason’s actual job to remove himself from the situation.

                • MrSmith
                  MrSmith
                  August 20, 2021 at 9:56 am | #

                  Of course it is and he should have and didn’t and paid the price.

                  However it’s easy to say what you should do (as Tyson said “everybody has a plan until you’re punched in the face) buy it’s a different story when it’s not hypothetical, that it’s a different story when it’s right there in front of you in the flesh

                  Jason was weak and paid the price whereas Sal got away with it scot free

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  August 20, 2021 at 11:50 am | #

                  Sal got away with it scott free because she has no legal or professional responsibility.

                  Like, I dunno how to tell you this, man, but even when they’re in the same age group (which is why this is something that doesn’t bug me on a moral standpoint), a teacher has 100% of the responsibility not to fuck their student. If they’re weak enough in that exact second, then they don’t get to be a teacher anymore and the student doesn’t need to be responsible for anything legally because of all the people in the world a teacher can’t fuck, it’s their student.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  August 20, 2021 at 3:26 pm | #

                  I can see the argument that the student bears some responsibility for attempting a sex for grades deal. Just making a pass because you’re attracted is fine, but attempted bribery is still a problem.

                • MrSmith
                  MrSmith
                  August 20, 2021 at 5:38 pm | #

                  Incorrect. Sal wanted her grades changed and, in her mind, was offering Jason sex to make this happen.

                  So yes Sal bears some responsibility for this situation because she made the offer because (and I’ll admit I’m only assuming here) the university probably has rules around cheating and sex for grades etc etc

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  August 20, 2021 at 9:13 pm | #

                  How do you write “incorrect” and “I’ll admit I’m only assuming here” like that in the same post.

                  Sal acted unethically (also in the heat of the moment because she was bored, Jason’s a bad teacher, she hadn’t done it in a while, and she’s constantly being told her efforts mean nothing and the only thing that matters is the end result), except the issue ain’t the ethics, the issue is that a TA fucked a student. Ethically it was two idiots doing something rash where one of them had a professional responsibility to say no despite his eagerness and did not.

                  Like if this whole conversation is about whether Jason took advantage of Sal; professionally yes, he was someone responsible for her grades who had sex with someone who did so with the assumption that Jason would change her grades for it, and if Jason is someone who can be swayed by Sal flashing her tatas then he doesn’t get to be a teacher.

                  That’s the boring legal talk, but the reality is that it was the early days of a character dramedy series where two of cast hadn’t grown at all yet and fucked in a circumstance they shouldn’t have fucked. I don’t even know why you’re trying to push this as such a failing on Sal’s part because yeah I guess it was, but nobody involved in or out of universe actually gives a shit and the only real problem that occurred was that, and say it with me, the TA fucked a student.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  August 20, 2021 at 9:15 pm | #

                  Like, dude, these posts just kinda come off like “Jason just couldn’t help himself, why did Sal have to seduce him, she’s so responsible for this!”

                • MrSmith
                  MrSmith
                  August 20, 2021 at 9:19 pm | #

                  You stated: ‘Sal got away with it scott free because she has no legal or professional responsibility’

                  Its incorrect because Sal offered sex for grades which, I’m assuming because I can’t be bothered going through the University of Indiana rules, is probably considered a form of bribery

                  Sal has some culpability in this instance

                • MrSmith
                  MrSmith
                  August 20, 2021 at 9:31 pm | #

                  ‘Like, dude, these posts just kinda come off like “Jason just couldn’t help himself, why did Sal have to seduce him, she’s so responsible for this!”

                  Again incorrect, this is what I stated:

                  ‘(as did he)’

                  ‘He should have resisted the big temptation and he didn’t and he got fired for it which seems an appropriate action for him and nothing official for Sal’

                  ‘I’m not saying he didn’t mess up (he did) and I’m not saying he didn’t deserve to be fired (he did)’

                  ‘Of course it is and he should have and didn’t and paid the price.’

                  However Sal has some responsibility for what happened, this was not a case of Jason telling Sal he’d increase her grades for sex.

                  Sal shouldn’t have offered sex for grades to Jason and Jason shouldn’t have had sex with Sal except Jason (because of Penny) lost his job and was nearly deported and nothing happened to Sal

                  Two things can be right at the same time and infantilizing characters helps no one

                • temperaryobsessor
                  temperaryobsessor
                  August 20, 2021 at 9:47 pm | #

                  Sal was wrong to attempt bribery. It corrodes the value of good math grades for the other students. If Jason realized it was bribery Jason would be worse to accept the bribe and even worse to not hold up his end.
                  I am willing to give Jason the slightest leeway because it appears he didn’t realize that Sal was trying to bribe him. But I still blame him more.
                  In bribery situations I tend to hold the bribe taker as more responsible for the bribery especially if the bribe taker is in a position of power relative to the briber. Yes even it the bribe is right there.
                  Its common sense that you don’t have sex with someone you hold a position of power over because its difficult to tell the difference between no they just wanted to have sex with me and it didn’t effect their grades and they knew it wouldn’t and so we scratched each other’s backs and I’m concerned about your performance you wouldn’t want to fail did I mention you look really sexy today.
                  So I do blame Jason for what happened, more than Sal. I don’t think she was right but he was worse.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  August 20, 2021 at 9:51 pm | #

                  I don’t know how else to explain with actual words that nobody cares that two people boned, and the only sticking point anyone has any reason to care about is the professional standard of not fucking a student, where the standard of judgment isn’t whether a teacher was sufficiently tempted by a student it’s that the teacher did it at all and any amount of temptation needs to be rejected regardless of circumstance. Jason’s not a bad person for having sex in the heat of the moment but whether or not he’s a bad person isn’t even up for debate.

                  Sal did something wrong, okay, everyone has acknowledged that because it’s a comic about 19 year olds being wrong about everything all the time. Everyone here gets that Sal came onto him (with his young age and no girlfriend/wife) and nobody really cares because the ethics of doing something stupid in the heat of the moment that she didn’t benefit from in any capacity because Jason regretted it enough to stick to his standards, as if we’re acknowledging Sal did something morally wrong ergo she is not getting the result she wanted, don’t actually matter when talking about the professional standard of not fucking your student under any circumstance.

                  Do you get it yet? You’re trying to intermingle the topic of Jason’s professional responsibility, where fucking a student is the literal last thing he is ever supposed to do and is grounds for immediate termination, with the moral responsibility of whether it’s wrong to come onto someone for a grade boost. Of course it’s wrong, that’s why Sal didn’t get anything out of it and had to actually learn and improve at math.

                • temperaryobsessor
                  temperaryobsessor
                  August 20, 2021 at 11:02 pm | #

                  As a professional you don’t fuck your students. I you can’t hold that line even in the face of temptation you don’t get to be a teacher.
                  However those rules are not arbitrary we have those rules for two reasons. First because any form of bribery or possible nepotism degrades the value of grades,and secondly because when people in positions of power have sex with those they have power over it can be tough to tell the difference between fully consensual sex, consensual bribery sex and holding someones grades/job hostage. Both from the outside and from the inside these three can be tough to tell apart. The second reason is why it was 100% Jason’s responsibility despite them both being adults. It doesn’t help that he failed to be professional before hand either.
                  I also think pretending you don’t control whether you act on sexual desires is what leads to people asking rape victims what they were wearing that night.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  August 21, 2021 at 4:17 am | #

                  I just want to point out Jason DID know Sal wanted him to change his grades. In the preview for their slip shine on Tumblr, he responds to her ‘You said my efforts don’t matter, ah’m only being judged against my marks’ with ‘This is NOT what I meant and you know it.’ He then tells her it would be unethical. Aaaand then he kisses her.

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            August 20, 2021 at 1:29 pm | #

            As a reminder, Jason did /not/ get fired for being involved with Sal. He got fired because of a *false* accusation by his office mate, who did not know Jason was doing anything. She just threw him under the bus. When Jason faced his tribunal, he didn’t dispute it, because he knew he had fucked up, but it wasn’t Sal’s involvement that got him caught.

            • MrSmith
              MrSmith
              August 20, 2021 at 5:42 pm | #

              Yes true. Should Jason have fought it?

              Losing a job and potentially losing the right to stay in the country is quite a punishment for Penny’s vindictiveness

              • Demoted Oblivious
                Demoted Oblivious
                August 20, 2021 at 9:47 pm | #

                That is a very good question and one that frankly is very complicated. Should he have got involved with Sal?. Probably not, but at the same time, the policy exists to prevent predation and abuse of power. And while certainly a complex interaction, at the end of the day neither party seems to object to what they did. So, assuming that line of thought is true, the punishment being inflicted is far out of proportion to the infraction. This is not intended to be an idictment nor a defense of Jasons and Sals behavior. If anything, I think the policy itself is overeaching in being completely inflexible. While I would argue that adults should have more patients and be willing to wait until after the semester, the fact is that many people simply don’t care, and in fact a few (on both sides) would likely see this as both a kink and a featger in their cap. And we know Sal’s age, but Jason seems also to be quite young, possibly going straight for a degree to a master’s.

                • MrSmith
                  MrSmith
                  August 20, 2021 at 9:57 pm | #

                  I don’t know what Jason was thinking but I’m going with the idea that he knew he did wrong therefore the firing was justified and combine that with if he had said anything then there would have been blow back on Sal since Sal would most likely admit to trying to get her grades changed so honour demands he keep quiet and take his punishment like a man and not say anything

                  Rules between professors and students should definitely be kept up but I wonder if rules between TAs and students, due to the similar ages, could be changed, just not sure how though to avoid power imbalances

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  August 20, 2021 at 9:57 pm | #

                  It’s not really complicated.

                  His job told him not to fuck Sal under any circumstance.

                  Jason fucked Sal because it’s a character drama named after the characters being stupid all the time.

                  Jason was pegged as having fucked a student and couldn’t bring himself to lie about it even though the accusation was intended as a diversion without a kernel of truth because he genuinely felt guilty and remorseful that he let down the professional standards asked of him.

                  Jason also seems to consider those professional standards as moral standards, and consequently he moved on from teaching to take up bartending, which is fine, because as much as Jason wanted to be a good teacher he never showed any aptitude for it.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                August 20, 2021 at 11:47 pm | #

                Two Points.
                1) As much as I agree Jason should have been fired for what he did, I’m appalled at the process. They didn’t investigate. He was supposed to bring the unnamed student in question if he wanted to defend himself. It simultaneously manages to be an easy way to railroad someone who’s falsely accused or with only circumstantial evidences and an easy way for the unscrupulous to pressure their victim to clear them.

                2) Despite his apparent lack of aptitude, I was more interested in him potentially trying to do better than in Jason the bartender. He’s a side character though and that might have taken up more space than warranted. I wonder if Willis decided after the fact that sex with a student was something he didn’t want to downplay to the point of leaving him as a TA.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      August 20, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

      Sal kind of doesn’t like Jason. He was a shit teacher, didn’t follow through with his end of their bargain and is generally kind of a snobby prick.

      She also didn’t fail, she found a better tutor in Wonderbread and managed to turn her grades around. Another point against Jason, she was capable of grasping the material, he was just a bad tutor

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        August 20, 2021 at 12:29 am | #

        I also feel I should mention that Jason profiled Sal pretty hard when they first met and I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume it didn’t have a racist undercurrent to it. Maybe you could argue Sal didn’t make a great first impression but it was still pretty fucked up and I don’t blame Sal if she holds a grudge against him for that.

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          August 20, 2021 at 2:22 am | #

          Jason grew up in an old money english family. There was probably a racial element

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            August 20, 2021 at 1:36 pm | #

            Classist. I’m not saying there isn’t a racist element too, but my read on old english money is that they’re even more classist than they are racist.

            • Mr D
              Mr D
              August 20, 2021 at 6:50 pm | #

              And that, in and of itself, is a classist sentiment.
              (Mind you, punching up and all that)

              • Demoted Oblivious
                Demoted Oblivious
                August 20, 2021 at 9:59 pm | #

                Yes and no. Unlike downwards classism and racism which have been repeatedly disproven, and yet continue to be used as an excuse to oppress, the haves have nearly always and do almost universally continue to oppress the have nots. I am absolutely unashamed of making that claim. If the wealthy don’t want to be judged for being selfish greedy assholes, all they have to do is prove they aren’t. It’s not like my claim is something that can’t be disputed or disproved. So to any wealthy people who object to my calling them out as described, prove me a bigot instead of a person with a valid critisism of a disproptionate distribution of wealth and those who hold it. Go on. I’ll wait, but I won’t hold my breath.

            • Thag Simmons
              Thag Simmons
              August 20, 2021 at 9:17 pm | #

              The British empire spent a very long time forcing a correlation between those two things.

              • Demoted Oblivious
                Demoted Oblivious
                August 20, 2021 at 10:02 pm | #

                Yup, and while recent popular attitudes in the UK are definitely a return to that, there was a time at least that they abolished slavery, and celebrated and toasted black american troops for their help in the war. It’s a bloody mixed bag alright.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  August 20, 2021 at 11:51 pm | #

                  While continuing to oppress non-white populations in their colonial possessions (until they broke free) and treat immigrants from those countries as second class citizens at home.
                  It’s a mixed bag, as it always is. They’re not as awful as the US in many ways, but they’ve definitely got their own problems and have all along.

        • DailyBrad
          DailyBrad
          August 20, 2021 at 2:33 am | #

          I don’t know that it’d have had any racial element, but literally the very first time they talked, he hit on her, so I don’t think that got them off on the right foot, Sal saying she didn’t come there to be “hormoned on by Pee-Wee Herman”, I think it was.

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            August 20, 2021 at 1:45 pm | #

            Yeshe saw her and declined to change office hours because of “ethics”, which was (more than) enough for Sal to not want to be hormoned on, as you so capably recalled. How do y’all remember this shit a decade later? (oh wait, collective concious, and the neuron that fires makes it’s owner post. Still, bloody impressive)

    • Cmasta1992
      Cmasta1992
      August 20, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

      Not that it will matter but I acknowledge I was wrong about the number of sexual encounters and final grade.

      But this leads me to be even more confused about Sal’s jealousy

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        August 20, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

        Sal doesn’t really like Jason very much – she thinks he’s an asshole – but he’s an asshole she’s attracted to and she’s more than a little lonely in that department of late so seeing him annoys her. Doubly so since he’s here with someone else.

        • Meagan
          Meagan
          August 20, 2021 at 2:47 am | #

          This makes more sense than anything else I’ve seen. She is attracted to him, maybe against her better judgment, so she’s gonna be awkward around him.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            August 20, 2021 at 8:46 am | #

            Yeah, being attracted to someone you think is an asshole is rough, especially when you’re lonely and he shows up with someone else.

        • Steelbright
          Steelbright
          August 20, 2021 at 4:42 pm | #

          in my experience it’s also possible to be annoyed that someone you’d want to bone casually/non-romantically doesn’t want to bone you at all anymore, or someone that you know things wouldn’t work out romantically with has found somebody that it looks like they WILL work out with… yep, it doesn’t always make sense or follow rules. feelings be like that.

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            August 20, 2021 at 5:39 pm | #

            Yeah that’s a good angle. Sal’s looking at Ruth and thinking “I don’t compare to that?” even though it’s not a competition and even if it were, Jason wouldn’t even know it.

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        August 20, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

        It seems more like Sal thinks Jason is a snobby prick and a bad teacher

      • Clif
        Clif
        August 20, 2021 at 5:09 am | #

        Jealousy doesn’t have to make sense. It really isn’t required and there are no jealously police to arrest you for doing it wrong.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 20, 2021 at 12:33 am | #

      It’s not necessarily jealousy, like Sal is mad that Jason is with Ruth. The way I see it, a lot of the emphasis of today’s storyline has been Sal being transparently frustrated that she doesn’t really have too many people she can be emotionally intimate with and, in particular, I think Sal is frustrated that with those guys she’s shared some degree of emotional intimacy with, it’s never going to be romantic.

      I’m trying to word that correctly because I feel like if I don’t it just comes off as “Sal is lonely and horny and wants a boyfriend” and maybe that’s close to the truth but putting it like that is a little too tawdry and juvenile, but, yeah, I think Sal wants to be involved with a guy right now, and the guys in her life are:

      – Jason, who she banged twice in the heat of the moment, opened up to him once, and made peace with him after learning he didn’t rat her out as he got fired. They don’t really interact in any major way anymore, and then she bumps into him again with something weird going on with Ruth, whereupon Sal drudges the old grudge back up to the confusion of even Jason himself.

      – Asher, whom she’s stated she forgave and moved on from his betrayal, biked around McNutt a whole bunch of times to accidentally bump into him by sheer coincidence, and then once Asher was clearly expressing his (weird) feelings for Jennifer, suddenly Sal is here to say that Asher is actually super dangerous and will turn on Jennifer and hurt her, like he hurt Sal. Once again, Asher isn’t who Sal wants him to be, so she brings up something she said she got over to express why he sucks.

      – Danny, who suddenly made things weird because he bought her a gift, Sal made it a transaction, and then Danny used that transaction to get her another gift. Sal has been able to engage with Danny fairly well because for lack of a better term Sal’s been in control of their interactions. Not controlling, but Danny only approaches Sal on her terms and from there Sal’s able to believe he’s genuine, and he can be genuine because neither of them has made some kind of big move yet. Then Danny breaks that unspoken contract and Sal is suddenly freaking out, because a lifetime of kindness being a front for a transaction is catching up to her, except Sal also really really wants that kindness in her life but she’s incapable of accepting it can actually happen. Danny breaks through that too, it’s not about him, it’s as simple as Danny wanting to do something nice for Sal, and if Sal doesn’t appreciate it the way Danny intended then Danny will only approach Sal in ways that make her comfortable now that he’s learned that boundary, except the important thing is that Sal learned (I think, anyway) that Danny actually meant what he said, that he’s not going to hold flowers over her head to get something out of her or engage in emotional blackmail, and that getting her a bouquet of flowers was as simple as Danny’s stated intentions.

      TLDR: Sal’s frustrated right now because something she wants is perpetually out of reach, the guys she could have a chance with are taken, and this one guy she hasn’t considered that way yet (because he’s adorable but adorable doesn’t get into her knickers) is suddenly giving her the idea that people can be nice to her without trying to use her.

      • StClair
        StClair
        August 20, 2021 at 1:17 am | #

        Well analyzed.

      • Meagan
        Meagan
        August 20, 2021 at 2:49 am | #

        Also an excellent take.

      • Steelbright
        Steelbright
        August 20, 2021 at 4:44 pm | #

        yes to all this, i am impress.

    • Meagan
      Meagan
      August 20, 2021 at 2:45 am | #

      I don’t know that it is necessarily jealousy, but I don’t get Sal’s weirdness either. She treated Jason hella casually – “You’ll do” were her words, right? Or was it, “Why not?” She seemed to be going for a one time hook up, and never indicated interest beyond that.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        August 20, 2021 at 8:19 am | #

        Appending to what I wrote above, I think it’s less that Sal is particularly close to Jason in particular and more that Jason is about as close as she usually gets to guys.

  8. Thag Simmons
    Thag Simmons
    August 20, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    Kind of a shame Jason only started hanging around non-Walkerton characters after Mike went down

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 20, 2021 at 5:11 am | #

      Kind of a shame … Mike went down.

      Hey, you read it your way: I’ll read it mine.

    • Anon A Mouse
      Anon A Mouse
      August 20, 2021 at 5:33 am | #

      It’s only a shame because he didn’t get a chance to say something snarky about Mikes death. Thus, Mike should have died much sooner, possibly within Jason’s presence, or comedic value.

  9. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    August 20, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    It was kinda cool until you said something about it. Now it’s uncool.

  10. Wagstaff
    Wagstaff
    August 20, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    *plays “Coffee and Other Just Deserts” by Terry Scott Taylor on Voxola PR-76*

  11. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    August 20, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

    …Sal pretty much always ends up leaving parties shortly after she arrives, doesn’t she.

    Part of me hopes someone convinces her to stay, and part of me thinks that her and Jason being in the same place at the same time is bad enough that one of them probably should leave. Still not sure what I think of Ruth/Jason.

  12. Nayann Martinelli
    Nayann Martinelli
    August 20, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

    Caring if other people think you are sitting in a cool way is what an uncool person would do, Becky. Own your awkward sitting position, and you too can be too cool for school – that’s what kids say nowadays, right?

    • Some Ed
      Some Ed
      August 20, 2021 at 9:17 am | #

      This. Also, Becky, that’s mostly sitting on the floor wrong. You’re mostly failing at the “in a chair” properly, since you’re mostly not in a chair.

      That said, I’ll admit @MrSmith has a point, especially compared to that same position, except, y’know, in a chair. Although the biggest difference between your position versus in a chair in your position is how bad it is for your neck.

      Not that I’d know from personal experience, because… Oh, who am I kidding? I knew this paragraph would be a hard sell before I started it.

      • MrSmith
        MrSmith
        August 20, 2021 at 9:46 am | #

        All it takes is a twinge or two

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      August 20, 2021 at 3:25 pm | #

      There’s being uncool by caring what people think, and there’s being so cool that one is willing to clown around and play at being cool, looking like a goof, and not care about looking uncool in the process.

      I am very comfortable seeing Becky in this light, but ymmv.

    • crow
      crow
      August 20, 2021 at 5:57 pm | #

      Pretending not to care if people think you’re sitting in a cool way is uncool, Becky is open about her feelings and that is very cool

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        August 20, 2021 at 10:04 pm | #

        caw, ?caw? tookie tookie (agreed, and why don’t you caw anymore?)

        • crow
          crow
          August 21, 2021 at 12:55 am | #

          Got new material

  13. MrSmith
    MrSmith
    August 20, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

    Its still a better position for her back though

  14. BBCC
    BBCC
    August 20, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

    Sal, leaving so she doesn’t have to deal with various things that annoy her? Perish the thought!

    (In this case, various includes: Jason because he annoys her, Jason because she’s lonely and seeing him annoys her, Jason because he’s here with Ruth (see item two), Ruth because tyrant, Ruth because see Jason item three, Danny might be turning up, Joe because list bro, people because people and specifically people who might be cheerful. All of this is to varying degrees.)

    • crow
      crow
      August 20, 2021 at 6:06 pm | #

      Nah, I think she just has places to be

  15. Pizzawiz
    Pizzawiz
    August 20, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

    No don’t leave Danny might have shown up… possibly

    • Carla's #2 Fan
      Carla's #2 Fan
      August 20, 2021 at 12:31 am | #

      Maybe they’ll bump into each other on the way out/in!

      • AGV
        AGV
        August 20, 2021 at 1:13 am | #

        Here’s hoping

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        August 20, 2021 at 3:28 pm | #

        I thought Danny was coming out, while Sal was not even in. This geometry is getting very confusing.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          August 20, 2021 at 5:04 pm | #

          Didn’t Danny already come out?

      • Steelbright
        Steelbright
        August 20, 2021 at 4:37 pm | #

        Kind of expecting/hoping for this…

  16. Regalli
    Regalli
    August 20, 2021 at 12:20 am | #

    Jason, she held you hostage and her hall nickname is ‘Ruthless,’ what did you think?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 20, 2021 at 12:22 am | #

      Also, ‘We’re here because redheaded orphans with abusive male guardians, am I right?’

      Yeaaaaah, I get why the trailing off.

      • Miri
        Miri
        August 20, 2021 at 9:39 am | #

        Now Becky’s an orphan she doesn’t have an abusive male guardian, though!

    • Wagstaff
      Wagstaff
      August 20, 2021 at 12:23 am | #

      How long does it take to develop Stockholm Syndrome when you’re handcuffed to a door next to someone like that?

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        August 20, 2021 at 2:24 am | #

        Stockholm syndrome is kind of bullshit as a serious medical concept, so diagnoses can be highly variable

        • Wagstaff
          Wagstaff
          August 20, 2021 at 3:36 am | #

          Regardless, as long as we respect the concept and its limitations for what they are, it could be very useful as a self-help tool. Like, recognizing you have it so you could fight it.

          Damn, the whole rigorous psychology game is REALLY in need of a major update!

          • Clif
            Clif
            August 20, 2021 at 4:51 am | #

            See, but if you have actually have it, then you won’t want to fight it.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              August 20, 2021 at 9:33 am | #

              Well, you could be aware of the chances and work to avoid developing it.

              Except if it’s not a real thing, then that’s kind of pointless.

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            August 20, 2021 at 3:33 pm | #

            How do you get a condition that is the medical psychological equivalent of homeopathy? It has as much validity as vaccines causing autism.

            • Wagstaff
              Wagstaff
              August 20, 2021 at 6:38 pm | #

              I was thinking more along the lines of self-help concepts like gaslighting. Gaslighting is not recognized in rigorous psychology, but nonetheless it is still really useful ad a self-help tool for victims to recognize the pattern and break it.

              • Demoted Oblivious
                Demoted Oblivious
                August 20, 2021 at 10:13 pm | #

                True, but gaslighting is also a thing which can be absolutely shown to be happening.

                Stockholm Syndrome is not a syndrome, and claiming that it’s even a thing leads to all kinds of questions about trusting any figures who hold authority _only_ because they have power. The idea that you CANT find understand with someone violent, implies that negotiation and dialogue could not work. And yet it does. There are two solutions to resolving conflict, but only one of them lasts forever, and it isn’t refusing to understand the agrieved party.

                (this is poorly worded but I’m tired and crashing. Good night all)

  17. Raen
    Raen
    August 20, 2021 at 12:20 am | #

    Someone get Becky a TNG boxset. And/or Labyrinth.

  18. plasticwrap
    plasticwrap
    August 20, 2021 at 12:31 am | #

    How cool is sitting ABOVE everyone else anyway. Oh who am I kidding, it was cool.

  19. bcb
    bcb
    August 20, 2021 at 12:32 am | #

    No don’t leave, Sal! Now if Jennifer gets here she’ll be disappointed by the lack of Amazi-girl!

    And dang, the similarities between Becky and Ruth are probably hitting Ruth hard.

  20. Suzi
    Suzi
    August 20, 2021 at 12:51 am | #

    Sitting in a chair wrong is actually locked behind the “bisexual” class type, so you’re out of luck Becky.

    • Suzi
      Suzi
      August 20, 2021 at 12:53 am | #

      Exceptions can be made, but I’m just saying every bisexual can’t sit properly in a chair.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      August 20, 2021 at 2:26 am | #

      They get a bonus to it, but it’s a universally available perk

      • Suzi
        Suzi
        August 20, 2021 at 12:11 pm | #

        I’d argue not universally available, as I’ve met many people who are absolutely bamboozled by what I consider a comfortable way to sit in a chair. I’d say it’s also locked behind “cool” persona typing, and only if you specifically choose it.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      August 20, 2021 at 8:16 am | #

      Apparently it’s also a thing for people on the autism spectrum to sit in chairs weird.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        August 20, 2021 at 4:33 pm | #

        Can confirm. And the back of the couch is where your legs go.

  21. AbacusWizard
    AbacusWizard
    August 20, 2021 at 1:00 am | #

    That *is* a reasonably cool wrong way to sit in a chair, but you gotta have the matching attitude to really sell it.

  22. AGV
    AGV
    August 20, 2021 at 1:04 am | #

    “All arround me are happy exes…”

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      August 20, 2021 at 4:38 am | #

      And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad.

  23. RacingTurtle
    RacingTurtle
    August 20, 2021 at 1:30 am | #

    I like Ruth and Jason well enough, but I’m really mad they’re here because I want Sal to stay

    • egg egg
      egg egg
      August 20, 2021 at 10:08 am | #

      I want Sal to linger just out of sight until Danny gets here, and then she’ll come back over and say she forgot to snag a piece of cake before she left.

  24. carms
    carms
    August 20, 2021 at 1:32 am | #

    It Is Weird That Jason Is Here =p

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      August 20, 2021 at 2:27 am | #

      Yeah, he’s been a tertiary character for so long it is weird to see him start clawing back his relevance. I don’t mind, but it is weird

  25. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    August 20, 2021 at 1:56 am | #

    Becky should keep the same position but prop her upper body up with an exercise ball. Nothing says cool like fitness, or attempting to work on fitness.

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 20, 2021 at 4:55 am | #

      in what universe?

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        August 20, 2021 at 9:40 am | #

        The fit universe of course. All body types still exist too.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      August 20, 2021 at 6:15 am | #

      Fitness is for squares. Cool people destroy their bodies with addictive substances and bad eating habits.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        August 20, 2021 at 9:15 am | #

        Keep the ‘leisure’ in ‘athleisure’!

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        August 20, 2021 at 9:39 am | #

        But they’re only cool until they’ve destroyed their bodies. Smoking is cool (not really anymore, but …), lung cancer or even a bad smoker’s cough, is not.

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          August 20, 2021 at 9:49 am | #

          They’re also only cool until they start destroying other people’s bodies. I’ve got that smoker’s cough you mentioned, and I’ve never smoked anything myself. And I suspect a predisposition for lung cancer, based on the little paternal-side medical info I have. Do whatever ya want to your own body, I guess, but don’t literally chain smoke in the car with the window up until your kid is in high school and then suddenly realise that might be a bad idea and also still do it half the time.

  26. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    August 20, 2021 at 2:34 am | #

    Gotta be honest, I do dig this hairstyle on Jason. Joe is still hotter at disheveled, but he’s none too shabby.

    • zee
      zee
      August 20, 2021 at 12:07 pm | #

      With the bushier eyebrows too? This look is WORKING for him

  27. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    August 20, 2021 at 2:41 am | #

    Maybe Sal is going too far in her hate (dislike, mute treatment) for Ruth and Jason…? It’s not a good thing towards Becky and she lost the possibility to meet Danny at the party.

  28. Tan
    Tan
    August 20, 2021 at 3:00 am | #

    Dumbing of Age Book 11: How Do You Treat These People?

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 20, 2021 at 4:58 am | #

      DOA 11: Sure, That Sounds Plausable.

      • Keulen
        Keulen
        August 20, 2021 at 8:10 am | #

        DoA Book 11: I’m Trying to Sit in This Chair Wrong But I Don’t Think It’s Comin’ Out Cool-lookin’ At All

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          August 20, 2021 at 4:40 pm | #

          DoA Book 11: more nicknames!

  29. mrnoidea
    mrnoidea
    August 20, 2021 at 3:01 am | #

    Just realized Ruth and Jason’s lackluster “empathy” comment may have reminded Sal of Billie and Asher’s commitment to “responsibility.”

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      August 20, 2021 at 9:40 am | #

      It’s more self-aware, at least from Ruth.

  30. Rotunda
    Rotunda
    August 20, 2021 at 3:27 am | #

    Jason’s bowtie is undone.

  31. BenRG
    BenRG
    August 20, 2021 at 4:37 am | #

    There are some people who make Sal uncomfortable because of her self-esteem issues. Then there are people like Jason who she genuinely doesn’t like and has a valid reason to feel that way.

  32. Eldritchy
    Eldritchy
    August 20, 2021 at 5:43 am | #

    Wait, was Sal always so small?

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      August 20, 2021 at 6:15 am | #

      Yeh

    • Tadpole7
      Tadpole7
      August 20, 2021 at 8:29 am | #

      I think Sal is 5’7″ but Ruth and Jason are among the taller cast members. Plus a lot of times she’s interacting with the shorter members of the cast.

  33. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    August 20, 2021 at 7:23 am | #

    To be fair Becky, comfortability is often a non-factor when sitting incorrectly.

  34. Bagge
    Bagge
    August 20, 2021 at 7:52 am | #

    a for effort, Becky

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      August 20, 2021 at 9:42 am | #

      But an F for cool, since effort isn’t cool.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        August 20, 2021 at 11:52 am | #

        Yeah.

        Caring is Cringe.

  35. Amos Batista
    Amos Batista
    August 20, 2021 at 9:12 am | #

    Stringbean?

    • Max
      Max
      August 20, 2021 at 11:18 am | #

      Fun Fact:
      Stringbean and his wife were brutally murdered because people thought he didn’t trust banks and kept all his money in his house.
      Fun Fact

    • annarchy
      annarchy
      August 20, 2021 at 11:48 am | #

      She has slept with him. Personally I read it to a euphemism for his lackluster junk.

      • Amos Batista
        Amos Batista
        August 20, 2021 at 2:30 pm | #

        the more you know…

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        August 20, 2021 at 3:18 pm | #

        “Y’think he’s jus’ a head onna stick, but …“

    • MrSmith
      MrSmith
      August 20, 2021 at 9:33 pm | #

      I took it to mean she thinks hes tall and skinny

  36. ziggy78eog
    ziggy78eog
    August 20, 2021 at 9:14 am | #

    Patients, grasshopper; the art of, “sitting in a chair the wrong way”, takes years to master. Maybe if you ask, you can get an apprenticeship, with Sal.

  37. Fnord
    Fnord
    August 20, 2021 at 9:59 am | #

    Anything is a hard sell if you follow it with “Sure, that sounds plausible.”

  38. Smooti
    Smooti
    August 20, 2021 at 10:36 am | #

    …Jason, sweetheart, Ruth wasn’t the problem in this situation.

    Would be kinda fun for him to become part of the crew though, if him and Sal can come to an understanding.

    • Alex
      Alex
      August 20, 2021 at 1:16 pm | #

      I mean that’s true, but if someone said “No one will believe me that I have empathy”, I’d have some questions.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        August 20, 2021 at 3:15 pm | #

        But if you knew Ruth, those questions would already have answers.

  39. Kravis
    Kravis
    August 20, 2021 at 2:49 pm | #

    Doin’ things wrongly in the “riiight” fashion is an art form…

  40. chuckroast
    chuckroast
    August 20, 2021 at 4:18 pm | #

    You tried, Becks. And that’s all we can ask of you.

  41. Steelbright
    Steelbright
    August 20, 2021 at 4:38 pm | #

    This was not the someone awkwardly showing up that I expected, alas

  42. crow
    crow
    August 20, 2021 at 5:26 pm | #

    Jason’s cute and all but saying nerd shit like “because we possess empathy” ruins it

  43. Moonie
    Moonie
    August 20, 2021 at 6:54 pm | #

    I don’t understand people who were born with the ability to sit in a chair *right*. My body doesn’t seem to cooperate naturally. I only look cool not sitting right in a chair compared to how much I look like a fool when I try to sit properly.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 20, 2021 at 7:07 pm | #

      Yeah apparently it’s a bisexual thing. Who knew?

      • Raen
        Raen
        August 20, 2021 at 9:27 pm | #

        I have no idea where this meme started, only that I am officially a fossil.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          August 20, 2021 at 9:52 pm | #

          Hey it’s new to me too. All I knew is that we had no fashion sense, bad haircuts, and ultimate power through puns.

          • Raen
            Raen
            August 20, 2021 at 11:25 pm | #

            I know where the haircut thing comes from – that comes from two kids’ shows where two characters who had had longer hair got similar haircuts at points when they were dating girls. This… all I can think is that a bunch of nerds were ribbing a bi friend publicly and meme magic started an avalanche.

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