Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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ruth also calls it her 'valley of the shadow of death'
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February 27, 2026

Facedown

by David M Willis on October 9, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - When Somebody Loved Me
└ Tags: dorothy, jennifer, joyce, ruth, walky

Discussion (170) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    October 9, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Dillie’s facedown in a b

    wait

    • Mr k
      Mr k
      October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      Soon Billie will suffocate. At least she’ll die happy.

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        October 9, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

        We all would, K. We all would.

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      Quick, Ruth, wake her up ‘fore she suffocates!

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        October 9, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

        But that’s like…one of my top 10 ways to die! Isn’t it everyone’s?

        • Tunaro
          Tunaro
          October 9, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

          My number 12, just below mortal combat with the eternal warrior spirit of Bruce Lee.

          • Barf Ninjason
            Barf Ninjason
            October 9, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

            I’ve never thought of “death by Bruce Lee spirit,” that’s good. Hell, you must have some pretty good ones on your list already, because I think that one is good enough to be #2 on mine, right after my favorite: killed by a falling satellite. (Because it’s simultaenously ” clearly it was fate” and “gee, thanks a lot, guy who invented the satellite.”)

            • Disloyal Subject
              Disloyal Subject
              October 9, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

              My top 2 is a tie between ‘drunken fight with a bear’ and ‘enuff dakka.’

              • Arkadi
                Arkadi
                October 9, 2014 at 5:32 am | #

                You know that there isn’t such a thing as “enuff dakka”, don’t you.

                • Disloyal Subject
                  Disloyal Subject
                  October 9, 2014 at 12:14 pm | #

                  Exactly.

              • longstickny166uh
                longstickny166uh
                October 10, 2014 at 2:15 pm | #

                Seriously, based upon 11 and 12, I wanna hear 1-10.
                My number one is hungry butterflies. It’d be painful and monotonous, but it would also be historical.

            • motorfirebox
              motorfirebox
              October 9, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

              I’m gonna have to go with my dad’s favorite way to die: spontaneous combustion in the middle of a board meeting. Just, like, “…clearly shows how last quarter’s sales numbers are *fwoosh* AAAIIIIEEEEE I SMELLL DELICIOUS”

              • Yet_One_More_Idiot
                Yet_One_More_Idiot
                October 9, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

                Death by falling satellite sounds pretty sweet actually, ‘cos I’d never see that coming until it was waaaaay too late. In fact, anything that’s extremely final and too sudden to avoid.

                Death by falling satellite
                Enuff dakka
                A sudden explosion
                Supervolcano
                Meteor impact
                Being in the instant-death zone of a nuke
                Gamma ray burst

                • Kelly
                  Kelly
                  October 9, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

                  What I think when you say death by satellite:

                  http://satwcomic.com/eurovision-2010

                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=IRgp-7Q4alU#t=40

                • LokoBacon
                  LokoBacon
                  October 9, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

                  No one else has the scene from Dr. Strangelove where Major Kong rides a nuke dropped from a plane while waving a cowboy hat on their list of favorite ways to die? I think riding a nuke would have to be my way to go.

                • Jen Aside
                  Jen Aside
                  October 9, 2014 at 1:22 am | #

                  Autoerotic asphyxiation isn’t on anyone’s list??

                  also, pretty much any Machine of Death card

                • Kryss LaBryn
                  Kryss LaBryn
                  October 9, 2014 at 1:58 am | #

                  I think my top way to die would be to die fighting off something deadly so my loved ones could escape, and lasting just long enough to realize I succeeded.

                  If I can do that at a ripe old age it will be perfect.

                • Arkadi
                  Arkadi
                  October 9, 2014 at 5:35 am | #

                  What *I* Tthink when you say “death by satellite”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMlq5IJ265M (I hope I’m not the only old geezer here who’s old and geez enough to remember that)

                • Dreballin3x
                  Dreballin3x
                  October 9, 2014 at 9:48 am | #

                  I think my preference would have to be Death Buy Lemonade.

                • Kelly
                  Kelly
                  October 9, 2014 at 5:01 pm | #

                  @Arkadi I know Northern Exposure was a show that was running during my lifetime, but that is about all I know about it.

                • Dr. Paul
                  Dr. Paul
                  October 9, 2014 at 5:55 pm | #

                  Death by falling “satellite” (actually the toilet seat from the Mir) is the opening scene in “Dead Like Me”.

            • Kelly
              Kelly
              October 9, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

              Well, Aurthur C Clark invented the idea of the geosynchronous communication satellite. Herman Potočnik had some ideas about satellites in 1928… Hard to say who had the very first conception of it, really.

              • TheZachariah
                TheZachariah
                October 9, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

                Can’t we just go with once you’re dead you’re dead and so the moments leading up to it are by comparison inconsequential? I’m going to go with that one.

                • tinfoil theory
                  tinfoil theory
                  October 9, 2014 at 1:45 am | #

                  I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather.
                  Not like the passenger in his car.

                • Barf Ninjason
                  Barf Ninjason
                  October 9, 2014 at 11:40 am | #

                  Ok, but only if by “moments leading up to it,” you mean one’s entire life; that way it’s nice and fatalistic.

              • Not
                Not
                October 10, 2014 at 9:52 pm | #

                Satellite means anything that orbits anything. The moon is a satellite. The earth is a solar satellite.

                My favorite deaths are mostly strange… but one of them is riding on top of a car that is going in one direction really quickly, and jumping off of it onto another car that is going just as fast in the opposite direction. Dying from the change in momentum, but before impacting the ground. It would be pretty hardcore.

                Also, killed by bunnies.

            • Psyme
              Psyme
              October 9, 2014 at 3:18 am | #

              I think this is my #1 way of dying.

            • Furio
              Furio
              October 9, 2014 at 7:08 am | #

              Getting killed by a satellite? How about getting killed by toilet seat from space: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugWpj88EWt4

              • Dr. Paul
                Dr. Paul
                October 9, 2014 at 5:58 pm | #

                And I should have scrolled down another page befor I posted.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              October 9, 2014 at 2:28 pm | #

              Remember, Dead Like Me was just a TV show, if you get killed by a satellite, you don’t get to be a Reaper.

            • Raye the Magic Lesbian
              Raye the Magic Lesbian
              October 16, 2014 at 7:16 pm | #

              I want to die by spontaneous combustion, or rather, what I pictured spontaneous combustion to look like when I was ten or so. Casually going about your day, when, for no reason at all, you explode. No warning, and no time to feel pain, and also everyone around you is all WTF?

          • Led
            Led
            October 9, 2014 at 6:20 am | #

            Well obviously you gotta be slain in combat, so you get to go to Valhalla or Fólkvangr after 😀

            • Barf Ninjason
              Barf Ninjason
              October 9, 2014 at 11:37 am | #

              Hmm, does it count as death in battle if the satellite falls on me if I’m bravely combatting security guards as they throw me out of an Olive Garden?

        • Goliath
          Goliath
          October 9, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

          eh, fireworks are ore fun.

        • Koms
          Koms
          October 9, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

          Dumb ways to die…so many dumb ways to die

      • liahansen
        liahansen
        October 9, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

        Yea, but she will fear no evil, for boobs art with her.

        • Arkadi
          Arkadi
          October 9, 2014 at 5:38 am | #

          The power of boobs compels her. One does not simply escape the gravitic pull of those boobs. In fact, Ruth’s boobs and Billie’s have probably settled into a common orbit and become their own binary (quaternary?) system. Billie’s really up Boob Creek.

      • Romanticide
        Romanticide
        October 9, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        or she vomits… and then suffocates…

    • Packy
      Packy
      October 9, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Jen FTW.

    • DSL
      DSL
      October 9, 2014 at 9:00 am | #

      Right on top of things

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Billie’s not snoring, that’s just how she imitates a motorboat.

  3. Foxhack
    Foxhack
    October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Sleepmotorboating!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 9, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      So Fishboating?

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        October 9, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

        @fishingboatproceeds ?

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          October 9, 2014 at 1:04 am | #

          You get all the hugs for that one.

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            October 9, 2014 at 4:05 am | #

            What can I say, I am a huge fan of CrashCourse, especially History 1&2 and Big History. (little out of the target demographic for his books…)

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              October 9, 2014 at 11:40 am | #

              SO MUCH WIN

  4. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Damint, Willis beat me ta the valley joke.

    • The kid
      The kid
      October 9, 2014 at 4:29 am | #

      Well, take a look at their lives, and realize they have nothing left.

  5. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Lo’ though I snuggle alone in the Valley of Death, I do not fear reprimand, for they are soft and warm.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      October 9, 2014 at 11:39 am | #

      “I could bury myself in them and be safe forever…”

  6. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    More like facedown in a bongo, amiright?
    (Yes, I know I’ll get lashback for that, but I can’t fight the pun).

    • Barf Ninjason
      Barf Ninjason
      October 9, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

      Jen Aside hath enninjaated thee.

    • Arkadi
      Arkadi
      October 9, 2014 at 5:39 am | #

      Yes you are. You are so right ^^

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      October 9, 2014 at 8:48 am | #

      uarrite.

  7. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    marshmallow

  8. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Best ditch I’ve seen.

  9. Mo
    Mo
    October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    My daughter flips Ds and Bs backwards too.

    • anonymous
      anonymous
      October 9, 2014 at 8:11 pm | #

      JenAside beat you to it.

  10. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    October 9, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Poor Billie has been trapped in an amusing motor-boating accident.

  11. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    October 9, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    She seems to be trapped in a crevice. Quick, someone throw her a rope.

  12. LiamAldam
    LiamAldam
    October 9, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Pssssst, Dorothy. Ask Walky if there’s anything between him and Billy now before it becomes a big blown up thing, k?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 9, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Walky actually has a big Blow up doll of Billie.

    • John
      John
      October 9, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      Dorothy was there for the, “She’s like a sister,” “I’d rather do his sister,” exchange.

      • liahansen
        liahansen
        October 9, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        They should really all hang out/ abduct Dina more.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          October 9, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

          I concur.
          …come to think of it, how hard did Dorothy need to study to catch up after that little outing? Ugh.

    • Soozi
      Soozi
      October 9, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

      I think Dorothy looks so concerned there because being scared and concerned over someone is not very Walky-ish. If Walky is worried about her, that means she really could be in danger (as far as they know).

  13. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    October 9, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    If this was the other way around we would never see Ruth again. She’d be lost in the abyss.

    • newllend
      newllend
      October 9, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      An abyss of joy.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 9, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

      I just transparently draw fanart involving boobs cuz I’m ALL about drawin’ cartoon boobs.

      • liahansen
        liahansen
        October 9, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

        gud

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        October 9, 2014 at 2:49 pm | #

        Nice one, I’m all about the bass.

        You really need to draw a webcomic.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          October 9, 2014 at 3:22 pm | #

          I REALLY want to. But I’ve got such a terrible work ethic. I’m like the anti-Willis!

  14. newllend
    newllend
    October 9, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    That is the most safest most comfortable ditch you can find.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      October 9, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      I bet Billie’s are more comfortable, but somehow I don’t think she’ll be facedown in her own

      • John
        John
        October 9, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        I don’t think she’d be very comfortable if she were. Heck of a crick in the neck.

        I bet the Amazi-Rack is pretty comfy.

        • Mr k
          Mr k
          October 9, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

          Billie/Amber. Two girls with glasses with severe mental issues. What could go wrong?

          • newllend
            newllend
            October 9, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

            In between the 3 of them not shore who would have the better set..who am I kidding A/A hands down.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            October 9, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

            Are we going back to the pile?

            • Kryss LaBryn
              Kryss LaBryn
              October 9, 2014 at 2:01 am | #

              That is awesome.

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      October 9, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

      More ditches need to be this!

  15. Mattyos
    Mattyos
    October 9, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    I was going to do something clever with “gangsta’s paradise” but then I remembered I suck at rapping

  16. Dean
    Dean
    October 9, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Good thing Billie and Ruth’s positions aren’t reversed, or Ruth may never have been heard from again.

    • newllend
      newllend
      October 9, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Sorry joke taken.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 9, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      I beat ya to it, Dean.

      • Dean
        Dean
        October 9, 2014 at 2:20 am | #

        Ninja’d! YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS, GADGET!

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          October 9, 2014 at 5:05 pm | #

          Next time Gadget!
          *cat meows/growls angrily*

  17. chris73
    chris73
    October 9, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    I don’t think I’ve read a comic that makes me change my mind about a character as much as this one, every time I start to feel bad for Joyce or think maybe shes not so bad she pulls out something like this (massive jealousy leading to wanting to break Walky and Dorothy up) to remind why I dislike her so much

    Mind you something else will come up later to make me feel bad for her again…

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      October 9, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      I don’t read Joyce as trying to break up Walky and Dorothy here. Quite the opposite in fact. She’s worried about her friend Billie, knows that Billie spent the night in Walky’s bed the other night, and is worried that her friend might take it the wrong way when Walky is obviously just trying to comfort her friend. She didn’t want to tell Dorothy in the first place after all, but also didn’t want to lie to her friend. If anything, I think she came along to try to assist Walky with any damage control.

      The fact that she has an overactive imagination and a suppressed sex drive means that she fears that Billie and Walky were doing more than just sleeping together. Her entire experience with couples boils down to her parents (whom we know little about), and her

      • Maveric1984
        Maveric1984
        October 9, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        …Crap, posted by accident when I meant to move the mouse…

        Anyway, her entire relationship experience is her parents, and her limited experience with romantic comedies, which is why she ships Billie and Walky since they grew up together. She doesn’t really know how else they could interact with each other.

    • beege
      beege
      October 9, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      Since this storyline seems to be headed in the direction of everyone learning about Ruth and Billie’s ‘relationship’ I suspect that Joyce is gonna piss you off again first.

  18. LeslieBean4Shizzle
    LeslieBean4Shizzle
    October 9, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Abandon all hope ye who enter here.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 9, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      If I ever find I like gettin’ pegged in the butt, I’ll have to get a tramp stamp that says that.

      • LeslieBean4Shizzle
        LeslieBean4Shizzle
        October 9, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

        Or we could go directly to buttsex.
        **tips hat** Well played sir.

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        October 10, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

        I Humbly suggest including a Treasure map to your Prostate, for the aforementioned ‘Hopeless’ …. for reasons

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      October 9, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      Er, whoops. This was supposed to be a reply to Mr Random. Must have clicked something wrong. Yikes, I’m no where near his comment.
      … well, enjoy entirely out of context mythological reference.

  19. Emperor Kiva
    Emperor Kiva
    October 9, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Billie’s fine. And she’s in the Ruthless Moutains Walky, big difference.

  20. CapedLuigisYoshi
    CapedLuigisYoshi
    October 9, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Sounding kinda like a parent there, Walky.

    • newllend
      newllend
      October 9, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      Somewhere between a over Bering mother and over protective older brother

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        October 9, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

        But what does a Russian explorer have to do with parenting styles?

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          October 9, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

          Just what I was wondering!

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        October 9, 2014 at 2:36 pm | #

        Well, at least the Bering is Strait.

  21. Morty
    Morty
    October 9, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    Y’know, she should probably move, she’s probably having trouble breathing like that. That said… What a way to go

    • newllend
      newllend
      October 9, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      I wouldn’t care if that was me, not everyone has the luxury to always be able to sleep in between a beautiful pare of tits every night.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        October 9, 2014 at 9:07 am | #

        Unless you’re married to them

  22. Aolbain
    Aolbain
    October 9, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    Nope, just in a dycke

    • Aolbain
      Aolbain
      October 9, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      I am so sorry

      • Aolbain
        Aolbain
        October 9, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

        …and then it turns out I spelt it wrong and didn’t mean what I thought it did. Disappointment.

        • Peruhain
          Peruhain
          October 9, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

          Well, the word “dike” originally meant “ditch” (as opposed to “levee”), so actually it’s a pretty good play on words . . .

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          October 9, 2014 at 2:08 am | #

          No, no, I got it… 😀

          http://www.moviesounds.com/vietnam/dikes.wav

          Had some where I lived in BC. *Grin* But this is more relevant.

      • ShaggyDonahugh
        ShaggyDonahugh
        October 9, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        Stare too long into the abyss, and you’ll find the abyss staring back at you xD

  23. RK
    RK
    October 9, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    I really like that Billie is wearing an “unsexy” but clearly supportive bra. While I don’t doubt that Billie has sexy bras, I appreciate the understanding that bras built for holding large boobs up tend to be more function over form.

    • John
      John
      October 9, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

      I’m kind of confused as to why Billie’s even wearing a bra at this point. All the ladies I’ve slept with have made a point of losing them ASAP, even if we weren’t sleeping together like that. And given that Billie and Ruth are sleeping together like that, it seems rather surplus to requirements.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        October 9, 2014 at 2:10 am | #

        I usually take mine off at night but I’m an F and after a couple of kids, in Billie’s position I would definitely keep it on. Perhaps Billie just thinks the twins need that extra support in “public,” too…

      • Eukie
        Eukie
        October 9, 2014 at 2:28 am | #

        Doylist: It’s easier for Willis to draw strips if he doesn’t have to keep arranging panels and figures to keep things family-friendly (while writing about self-destructive one-night stands).

        Watsonian: Billie never took it off.

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          October 9, 2014 at 2:56 am | #

          Watsonian Doylist: It’s easier for Willis if Billie never took it off?

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            October 9, 2014 at 9:52 am | #

            At least until the slipshine comes around.

        • Thomas64
          Thomas64
          October 9, 2014 at 10:37 am | #

          Yeah, if you’re going to nitpick about Billie not taking off her bra, what about Ruth not even taking off her top? Remember, this is what they were wearing when Ruth woke up regained consciousness after having passed out from all the booze.

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            October 9, 2014 at 5:21 pm | #

            Yeah, from that I gathered they never got that far into it before tiredness and alcohol put them to sleep.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 9, 2014 at 2:07 am | #

      Haha, I like all bras. I find bras sexier than bare boobs usually. Even the “ugly” supportive ones. I’m wondering if Willis does too.

  24. TimeLoss
    TimeLoss
    October 9, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

    Despite the self destruction, depression, and general sadness. It is in a simpler moment like this that makes me think that Billie and Ruth can actually work out their problems.

    Once Walky and the others find Billie I am really hoping there will not be yet another misunderstanding or misinterpretation.

  25. newllend
    newllend
    October 9, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

    I wander what they smell like ?

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      October 9, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

      Skin, cotton, and sweat. Probably some tones of dirt, booze, and lotion, too.

    • MrSirk
      MrSirk
      October 9, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

      Booze. They smell like booze.

  26. Khaner
    Khaner
    October 9, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

    …How long has she been Motorboating Ruth?

    • Aolbain
      Aolbain
      October 9, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

      By the looks of it, for at least 16 hours

  27. Malchus
    Malchus
    October 9, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

    Bad news: Billie’s been in an accident.

    Good news: The airbags deployed.

    • shammers
      shammers
      October 9, 2014 at 2:02 am | #

      it’s comments like these that make me really want a link button or something

      • shammers
        shammers
        October 9, 2014 at 2:03 am | #

        whoops **like

  28. Peruhain
    Peruhain
    October 9, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

    In China, when they sleep like that, they say you are resting in Gentle Country. (Doesn’t translate very well, but I love the expression.)

    • Ancestral Hamster
      Ancestral Hamster
      October 9, 2014 at 1:08 am | #

      Wish I could rest in Gentle Country. (I’ll remember that expression, thanks.)

      Backs shape heaven’s arches,
      Long hair braids with fingers
      as the tea grows cold.

      (John M. Ford, from the short story, “Green is the Color”)

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        October 9, 2014 at 2:12 am | #

        That’s lovely (and evocative). Thank you!

  29. Robert
    Robert
    October 9, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

    Billie is just out for a testdrive in her new motorboat…

  30. Beachfox
    Beachfox
    October 9, 2014 at 1:04 am | #

    Don’t now if I’m reading too much into it, but…
    The quickness that Walky worries, and the quickness that he leaps to the worst-case scenario with Billie…

    Given how little Walky caries/pays attention to anything, this says to me that “Billie winding up face down in a ditch” is something that he’s thought about/worried about before. He’s been stressing about Billie coming to a bad end for awhile, even though he’s probably never consciously realized it.

    Or I’m reading too much into a few panels.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      October 9, 2014 at 2:21 am | #

      It’s entirely possible, to not say likely, that Walky witnessed the whole DUI thing and its aftermath (at least from a distance), so he’ll have a more direct sense than anybody other than Billie herself (and, as an observer, likely a better sense) of how bad things can get.

    • Yoohoo
      Yoohoo
      October 9, 2014 at 5:16 am | #

      Plus it’s been too long. Wonder if he’s afraid it’s booze related and she did something to herself or if someone could’ve taken advantage of her.

    • Thomas64
      Thomas64
      October 9, 2014 at 10:32 am | #

      Well, the standard reaction to someone not having slept in their room would be to assume they spent the night with someone else… But if you’re talking about someone who’s clearly in a major emotional tailspin, it’s only natural to worry about uglier possibilities.

  31. Ancestral Hamster
    Ancestral Hamster
    October 9, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

    Panel 3: Walky fears Billie is in a remake of “Sunset Boulevard”.

    Oddly enough, I guess in this version Walky will be Norma Desmond.

  32. Kelly
    Kelly
    October 9, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

    freckles everywhere!

  33. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    October 9, 2014 at 1:37 am | #

    That last panel is so hot. 😛

  34. Rosicrucian
    Rosicrucian
    October 9, 2014 at 1:38 am | #

    Billie shall fear no evil, for she is the baddest motherfucker in the valley.

    • Allen Tor
      Allen Tor
      October 9, 2014 at 3:05 am | #

      But where’s her big shovel?

  35. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    October 9, 2014 at 2:08 am | #

    Joyce’s little jags to get Dorothy jealous over Walky and Billie together appears to have backfired.
    Pretty obvious here that Walky really is worried about her (we here on the other side knew that already).
    Then after goading Joyce to actually go check, Joyce out Mike’s Mike and get into the room, where, I’m guessing she hoped to catch some action going on.
    Too bad Joyce: Dorothy see’s Walky now as really concerned for his friend. Later she may ever consider the way YOU pushed your agenda.

  36. brionl
    brionl
    October 9, 2014 at 2:08 am | #

    Q: What lies in a ditch and goes “ding dong”?
    A: A wounded Avon Lady.

  37. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    October 9, 2014 at 2:09 am | #

    Love that last panel. Hope for them maybe.

  38. Kryss LaBryn
    Kryss LaBryn
    October 9, 2014 at 2:14 am | #

    See, Walky? THAT’S how you do a smashcut.

  39. nothri
    nothri
    October 9, 2014 at 2:44 am | #

    Hurray! The ship is not only out to sea, but she’s now being powered by a turbine. In other words, a motorboat.

  40. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    October 9, 2014 at 2:58 am | #

    Gosh Billie, quit being a total boob.

  41. Lulu
    Lulu
    October 9, 2014 at 4:37 am | #

    Still such kind of sleeping and waking up is much better than somehow having your partner’s feet in your face.

  42. Shadow12000
    Shadow12000
    October 9, 2014 at 5:58 am | #

    Well, Walky IS right, technically.

  43. JESUSMAN
    JESUSMAN
    October 9, 2014 at 6:35 am | #

    more like face between two mountains

    • Ribbits
      Ribbits
      October 9, 2014 at 6:36 am | #

      More like face down in a valley.

      • Boomwolf
        Boomwolf
        October 9, 2014 at 7:31 am | #

        more like… uh… (insert clever breast euphemism here)

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          October 9, 2014 at 11:36 am | #

          She got buried in a boobquake.

          • Jen Aside
            Jen Aside
            October 9, 2014 at 7:06 pm | #

            pillow talk

  44. Fabamf
    Fabamf
    October 9, 2014 at 6:40 am | #

    Face down in the shadow of the valley of breasts is the best place to be

  45. Dani Kelley
    Dani Kelley
    October 9, 2014 at 8:18 am | #

    Ha. I remember calling it the valley of the shadow of death in my Christian high school and thinking I was SUPER ORIGINAL. 😛

  46. MissQuinn
    MissQuinn
    October 9, 2014 at 8:47 am | #

    Ahh, that’s how I want to go. Hungover, facedown in an equally hungover redhead’s chest.

  47. Smith
    Smith
    October 9, 2014 at 10:07 am | #

    Reliving momma’s boobs, Billie?

    • AriBerri
      AriBerri
      October 9, 2014 at 8:50 pm | #

      As a mom who breastfeeds, you just made me shudder.

  48. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    October 9, 2014 at 10:58 am | #

    Boob suffocation is the best type of suffocation.

  49. Minder
    Minder
    October 9, 2014 at 11:53 am | #

    Oh, holy shit, that’s actually adorable. I wasn’t expecting anything adorable out of Billie and Ruth of all couples

  50. Ailorn
    Ailorn
    October 9, 2014 at 12:11 pm | #

    I think Joyce Walkie and Dorothy need a healthy dose of boundaries. I understand about worrying about someone and that they dont know what we know (she’s physically safe). This group is pretty emeshed and trying to help one another but I think they’d be better off with worrying less and allowing one another to be responsible for themselves.

    • Bill
      Bill
      October 9, 2014 at 12:17 pm | #

      And between the “it ain’t my concern” mindset and the “surely someone else has got this covered” excuse, this is how people with problems — whatever they are — fall through the cracks.  Remember the proverb which Hillary lifted for the title of her book — “It takes a village…..” 

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      October 9, 2014 at 12:49 pm | #

      Because when you know someone is drinking heavily, someone whose just been told they were poison and agrees with the statement, someone whose entire life has been pulled out from under them recently, someone who admits only two people actually care about her, and that person disappears, of course the thing to do is ignore the problem. That can in no way backfire.

    • Yoohoo
      Yoohoo
      October 9, 2014 at 7:40 pm | #

      Even if she wasn’t depressed and told she was poison and hardly had any friends… if you’re one of those few friends and haven’t seen her since noon the day before — A young hot female who likes to drink and have random flings who hasn’t been seen or heard from for almost 24 hours — and you’re not worried, and don’t want to check up on her and/or find her…?

      Maybe it’s because of this missing-and-probably-dead college girl in Va, whose friends let her wander out alone and drunk, I just think people need to be better friends and watch out for each other like this group. So… I applaud Walky’s worries, even though they’re leaning more ‘omg suicide/accidental overdose’ than ‘kidnap/murdered college girl.’

  51. Brian
    Brian
    October 9, 2014 at 5:35 pm | #

    Cue the slipshine release. Please…

  52. man in black
    man in black
    October 9, 2014 at 9:17 pm | #

    Got the first part right

  53. Bagge
    Bagge
    October 9, 2014 at 11:46 pm | #

    Ruth’s tolerance for cute is about 5 seconds.

  54. JA
    JA
    October 18, 2014 at 3:26 am | #

    Nothing better than a facefull of boobs.

the most nuanced and exhaustive Joyce/Dorothy cheating poll of all time

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CONVENTION APPEARANCES


September 13/14, 2025 - Small Press Expo in Bethesda, Maryland, Table F2

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David M Willis!
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When the Christian indoctrination special has old man yaoi bait 😍
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
so apparently there's a Superbook episode where Chris and Joy travel in time to Star Trek and do a TED talk for the crew about how God exists
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 11h
things you can claim before inventing mirrors
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rise and shine!!!
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there is a very poorly edited commercial on tv that shows A Mom starting her day and she goes in to wake up her kid for school and as the kid begins to wake up it cuts to a closeup of someone spraying Raid at an unseen target. it really looks like some kid getting got with bug spray
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 12h
welp Kitchen Doctor got 80 votes for the bonus strip, guess i'm doing a Kitchen Doctor strip
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Not even *six months* out from the April Fool's post that presented such a thing as preposterously hilarious. The Slop Era is real.
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Officially Licensed G1 Transformers Perfume #tfw2005 #transformers
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Officially Licensed G1 Transformers Perfume
Coming to us via Japanese website Fairy Tail Parfume we have images and information about the very first Officially Licensed G1 Transformers Perfume. Believe it or not, these are G1-Transformers-inspired fragances with special Transformers-decorated bottles. Read on for the list of products and prices: Transformers Eau de Parfum Optimus Prime 50 ml – 5,500 Yen Transformers Eau de Parfum Megatron 50 ml – 5,500 Yen Kremzeek Eau de Parfum 50 ml – 4,950 Yen Enegon Cube Eau de Parfum 50 ml – 4,950 Yen Autobots & Decepticons Fragrance Set 50 ml x 2 – 8,800 Yen Matrix Diffuser 50 ml – » Continue Reading. The post Officially Licensed G1 Transformers Perfume appeared first on Transformer World 2005 - TFW2005.COM.
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Remember when Blockbuster Video gave a dude so many late fees he decided we should all borrow DVDs in the mail and then destroy the entire cable industry and shove a weird hot metal spike up the movie industry's keister for both better and worse? Anyway, never underestimate the power of spite.
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Don't make plans, got it.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 15h
in today's strip, i left joe's eyebrows connected in the middle, like they used to be rendered back in Roomies!, because it tickled me have little a roomies! expression, as a treat
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Earlier this month at TFN I saw the amazing TF None panel by @chrismcfeely.bsky.social & @jimsorenson.bsky.social and I absolutely fell in love with the proposed version of Megatron. So after a little paint and 3d printing, I'm very excited to reveal my custom Negator!
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Them: Cyberman Jesus Transformer isn't real and can't hurt you. Cyberman Jesus Transformer:
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I made a robot that screams meme
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Google Gemini doesn’t appear to be doing too well: ‘"I am a disgrace to this planet. I am a disgrace to this universe. I am a disgrace to all universes . . . I am a disgrace to all possible and impossible universes and all that is not a universe," the bot continued.’
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned we're rerunning the week of strips where Edda strips a critic on stage during a performance, which definitely should've landed her in prison.
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Date both
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i'm the guy who invented the spike traps that pop out of temple walls. i hate my job. every day my boss says "why haven't we killed any archeologists" and i say "they haven't invented that yet." they pay me in tomb juice. i hate tomb juice. honestly i might just start working on my big boulder idea
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A furious person labeled both democrats and republicans screeches I hate you and hope you die at an innocent happy person labeled Zohran who is saying I like New York City
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Ohhhhhhh, STREAMING surprise!!! I definitely read that differently at first
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DID GARFIELD EAT THAT KID?????
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Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned the strip will remove even the color black to resist the alien will of the dernier cri
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