nice face you have there, be an awful shame to see some romantic thing happen to it

Names
Posted on March 16, 2026 by David M Willis

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Tags: alice, asma, jennifer

53 thoughts on “Names”

  1. Doctor_Who

    So what on-the-nose pop song do you think Asma hears in her head when Alice speaks to her?

    Dream Weaver is my pick, but I’m old and still consider Wayne’s World to be a cultural touchstone. Pretty sure todays kids do not say “SHWING!” and a song written in this century would be more appropriate.

    1. I Know Why The Mowed Lawn Screams

      I’m not sure if this fits the “written in this century” criteria, but i would put “You & Me” by Tiger Trap in my ballot for hypothetical Asma bittersweet crush montage music

  2. Sirksome

    Wow that bowling date with the Joyothy broke Asma’s spirit.

    1. Grimey

      I know right. First time someone genuinely remembers her name, and it’s the girl she was crushing on. But nope—socializing was a mistake.

      1. Nono

        Socialising was a mistake…

        …it’s lesbian early DoA Sarah?

    2. Cholma

      Sure seems like it. I was kind of surprise to see her indifferent attitude to Alice remembering her name. I was expecting more “Sempai noticed me!” and not “That’s my name; don’t wear it out”.

      1. Tan

        Technically it would be a case of “Kouhai noticed me” here, as Alice is a first-year and I’m pretty sure Asma isn’t.

        1. stePH

          I first learned the words sempai and kouhai reading Michael Crichton’s novel Rising Sun.

        2. TrueSurvivor

          I have not read that novel. Do you reccommend it? I like sci-fi murder mystery, though It seems the social commentary perhaps outdated (Japan’s rapid rise did not infact lead to them taking over the US and no longer seems to threaten to do so). Still, I suppose the core fears of cultural and economic replacement by foriegn powers is as strong as ever.

        3. Li

          The novel is about those fears, in part, but in no way did it validate them, imho, so that part isn’t really outdated.

  3. QueenofSodor

    “i hope thing go horribly, terribly wrong for you, asma! just the absolute worst possible outcome! :D” -alice chen, 20xx

    1. Risky

      That outcome being my pants

  4. Cholma

    “Our top story today: Student tragically caught in unexpected smooching incident!”

    1. SecUnit (formerly Cimorene)

      Last time it was front page news!

      1. clif

        It’s one of those evergreen things.

  5. IntangibleMatter

    Asma might be able to have things work out, after all.

    I hope she and Alice end up together.

    I have no ulterior motives, aside from being a huge sicko for Billie/Ruth

  6. Karla Jean

    Okay, that’s a good line.

    1. Bryy

      I’m honestly surprised, as Alice was going pretty friggin’ hard at Jennifer, and not enough time has passed for friction.

  7. V

    haha get it girlllllll (which girl (yes))

  8. Freezer

    In that last panel, it looks like Asma’s brain is buffering at thought of actual positivity being directed at her.

    That or she’s struggling not to read too much into Alice’s words.

  9. Bryy

    Wow, Alice was a completely normal thing to say to someone you do not like in that way.

  10. NGPZ

    hahahha aaaaawwwwee XD ^-^
    for reals tho i really wanna see em connect

  11. Suet

    Names are important, the ouroboros isn’t.
    ㅤ
    (unless Asma wants to be added to that pile)

    1. TrueSurvivor

      I have not heard that term applied in that sexual fashion, but if any single word signifies the nature of the Dumbing of Age cast both individually and collectively, it is the term for a snake eating itself alive.

      1. SunflowerBanjo

        I believe it was Walky that said something along the lines of “Our friend group’s smoochy chart is basically an ouroboros”, which was then used as the title for one of the print volumes of the comic.

  12. RassilonTDavros

    “I’m still not on board with this whole “becoming plot-relevant” thing, need some time to think it over”

  13. Sirksome

    Just saying, Alice, Asma, Billifer, Raidah (ideally only if she’s being topped by one of them or anyone) they look good together. We could get this dumbing group b started. Knock over that selfish, garbage bisexual, Joyce Brown and her cabal of obnoxious weirdos and replace her with your own. Start a civil war! Add Joe and Dina to the mix because I like them! This can happen!

    1. TrueSurvivor

      I like that idea, however I would like the regular plot of dumbing of age to continue … only entirely in the back ground or off screen. Like you can catch Joyce and Dorothy having an argument across the quad in the background of a script focused on Billie and Raidah. When the cast gets back from Spring Break, Joyce and Becky are trudging by in the hall way with burnt hair, stiches, and Mad Max costumes. We still do the Amazi-girl plot, but never see Amber again, because its all just Billie stalking Sal to try to get the inside scoop on Amazi-girls offscreen super-hero show downs. Etc,

  14. darkoneko

    …what

  15. CT Phipps

    I hate that Asma just abandoned Dorothy and Joyce when she found out that Alice wouldn’t be there.
    That was horribly rude.

    1. Doopyboop

      To be fair to Asma she 1) doesn’t know Dorothy and Joyce well 2) they only invited her to go bowling because of white guilt and a performative need to “make up” for the protest fiasco and 3) Dorothy and Joyce survived just fine after she walked away. They basically went on a bowling date. Nothing of value was really lost by her leaving.

    2. Cameron Stone

      Yeah she should have know better and not have gotten involved with those two numbskulls in the first place.

  16. yak

    huh, maybe the reason I can never keep track of who’s smoochin’ or bangin’ is that it takes so long for names to stick in my head.

  17. John Campbell

    I’m assuming Asma is just being grumpy because she still doesn’t know Alice’s name, and Alice is making it increasingly awkward for her to ask.

    1. Folus

      Idk, she was literally sitting right there two pages ago as Jennifer proclaimed “This is Alice.” Seems like the sort of thing she would’ve paid attention to and filed away.

      1. John Campbell

        She was all the way across the lobby. She might not have heard.

  18. StClair

    Wave off, Asma! Abort, abort!
    Once you start down the Drama path, forever it will dominate your destiny, consume you it will!

  19. Cameron Stone

    Wow, what a thing to just say to someone you just met and who’s boundaries you don’t know. Maybe I’m right and Amber really did take over writing the comic.

    1. Bryy

      It’s well within Alice’s character. Even more-so if she indeed thinks Asma is cute.

    2. Bobby

      you must be a hoot at parties

  20. Dot

    There’s a love square going on here in which none of the participants are aware of the full scope.

    1. Pocky

      relationship geometry is hard

      1. clif

        I was going to say. In a square each corner or line is connected to two others. Who are Asma’s two?

        1. Pocky

          Maybe Asma will start crushin on Sal lol

  21. Trying my best

    This is funny to see from Alice “Wally, isn’t it?” “I don’t remember Asher” Chen. I can only assume that either she’s tried to grow as a person or she thinks Asma is hot.

    1. Alongcameaspider

      Or she only keeps track of hot ladies names

  22. Amós Batista

    Stop threatening Alice with good times, Asma…

  23. Taffy

    May as well do both right now, to get it out of the way.

  24. JA

    Way to shoot yourself down there, Asma.

  25. Quinn

    Asma is probably going to kick herself not asking for Alice’s name. Would have been the perfect opportunity.

    1. clif

      Or at least ask her if she likes bowling.

  26. Pocky

    Y’know; Asma, remembering her name would’ve made bowling a lot more to your liking.

    or you could miss your chance again, and continue to pine for Alice from behind that book lol

  27. Li

    Oof, Asma. :(

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