dumbing of age book 16: THIS IS BIPHOBIA!

Threeway


Share

Tags: danny, joe, sal

105 thoughts on “Threeway

  1. …why did I have a feeling this was gonna happen XD

    everybody bust out their bingo cards, buckets of popcorn and/or blast shields and brace yourselves for another Very Normal comments section!

    1. Joe really set himself up this whole arc lol

  2. I chuckled. That is all.

    1. Bwahahahaha, indeed. Comic is way behind the comments with this joke!

  3. alternately, Dumbing of Age Book 16: Making the Rest of Us Look Bad

    1. Damn, beat me to that exact comment lol

      1. Dumbing of Age Book 16: Yeah, Dorothy

  4. Mm. Not sure I like Danny being upset that his lifelong best friend was cheated on by his ex being just kind of played off as a joke, but maybe he’s storming off to yell at Dorothy. This was one of the big reactions I was looking forward to and I feel let down. I feel like Danny should be more concerned with how his friend was hurt than how it looks for bisexual people.

    1. This has been a recurring problem with this storyline for me as well. It feels like Willis really wants every/every other strip to end with a “gag”, but it doesn’t really fit the seemingly serious tone of what’s going on.

      Or perhaps it is more that *we* view it, that is to say, the whole situation, as something to be taken seriously, whereas the narrative doesn’t beyond the reactions of certain specific characters (Joe, Becky, Dina). I’m not sure.

      1. If you subscribe to the DoA patreon, you can view some of the early drafts of strips with commentary, even without going into a paid tier – I recall for the scene where Joyce and Dorothy finally kiss, Willis had a moment of being swept up by the momentum of what the characters would do (rather than the plans he had for the scene) and realized that rather than them kissing and going “hm! well! that’s not great” and going back to their boyfriends and forgetting about it… oops this is kinda symbolically a marriage proposal.

        So I think this storyline of Joyce and Dorothy actually getting together being somewhat pushed forward by spur-of-the-moment momentum kinda explains some of the pacing issues, maybe?

        1. Yes, that’s old news, but I’m more concerned with characterization than pacing here.

        2. I think it makes sense, Danny’s in his newly-out, “making atrocious bi puns” era of being bi, so that this is where his mind immediately jumps to is in-character, I feel.

      2. But this is what the comic IS: somewhere between a story and a gag at the end of the strip. The very frequency tells you that. And no, some joke are not going to land well with some people sometimes.
        I thought “Great Bores of Today” was hilarious until I found the one that was essentially me. It’s funny to me now to tell that story, tho! But the series was making fun of people, so what can one expect?
        So.
        If gag strips are distressing, why not go for comics that don’t do it? I’m here for the art and the laughs and now and then the lump in the throat.

    2. Queer identity is kind of a big thing, I guess, especially among people who are only just discovering it. It’s not the best ever look for Danny but I’m willing to give him a pass especially since he’s been a good egg for a while.

      1. And it’s not like Danny hasn’t made it about him in horribly inappropriate moments in the past. It’s what tanked his budding relationship with Ethan, after all.

        1. Yeah, this is a blind spot that Danny has shown before, and he was definitely the cast member most “due” to do something ridiculously stupid and impulsive.

      2. A good egg, but slightly cracked.

    3. Well damn, my “Walky and Joe don’t actually have any real friends looking out for them” opinion keeps getting more proof by the day. A shame, really.

      1. It’s times like these one begins missing Mike

        1. man, if mike came back, that would make everything worth it ngl

    4. If I were to give the benefit of the doubt here I’d say this is obviously a joke beat and that there’s plenty of potential and narrative room for Danny to return and be more supportive later. This will not be their last interaction and sometimes comedy can reframe the situation as not being as bad if jokes are being made.

    5. Dot:
      Yeah, lets go be angry at Dorothy. She just wanted, and only even acknowledged that because Joe spelled it out. Joyce made the opening bid, joyce made the running, Joyce married Dorothy when Dorothy was trying to have a heroic moment. Dorothy said repeatedly that they had to tell their boyfriends.

      1. Dorothy’s also the only one really feeling any guilt about any of it, while Joyce was actively throwing Joe under the bus and rewriting her history with Dorothy as the greatest and most heroic love story ever told.

    6. I read it as Danny being legit upset for Joe. But when Joe’s like ”Nah, I told her to”, Danny doesn’t know what to do with those feelings and redirects them into the second part of his reaction (which is frustration/dissapointment with Dorothy for her going against what he told her when they spoke about it).

      Hm. Additionally, maybe it’s just me, but; I feel having like reacting to having one’s upset feelings be shown to be based on a misunderstanding of a situation by doubling down on a joke, is a normal/common/natural reaction, isn’t it? D:

  5. Well, I’m relieved that the preview panel of Danny storming out the room didn’t turn out to be him being mad at Sal about something.

  6. He’s going to find Ethan, right now, for reasons.

  7. Okay, pack it in everyone. Willis says we can’t criticize their favorite ship anymore. If you have any gripes about how Jorothy came to be you’re basically no different then Danny the Strawman over here.

    1. Obviously Mx. Willis has their thumb on the scale in favor of DoJo as a ship – which is their prerogative – but I think this is an uncharitable read of this strip.

      1. Who said it was a charity? I run a for-profit comment section thank you very much!

        1. I will never pay you even one (1) penny (cent) for this. You are a swindler and a fraud.

        2. Your first comment makes me think you have no sense of humor, and your second comment makes me think you do.

    2. R.I.P. good faith, we dont even know where Danny is going rn

    3. I think it’s mostly just a funny self-deprecating joke.

      1. I find it less funny when it is accompanied by Joe essentially taking responsibility for Dorothy’s decision to cheat.

        Like sure, Willis can write whatever story they want. But I think it is a bad move to have Joe be totally accepting of being cheated on, and to even think it was his fault.

        If Willis wanted to do an arc where Joe was totally accepting it would have been soooo easy to do that just by having Joyce talk to him first. Incredibly easy.

        So far it seems like the fact that Joyce cheated on Joe is entirely irrelevant to the plot. It effects basically nothing. And that feels fake. It feels like someone wanted to write in “cheating” for the drama but then didn’t want to actually deal with the fact that it would make the protagonists kind of shitty people… so they walked back any and all realistic consequences so the only people remotely upset are tertiary to the violation of trust.

        1. Yeah. Waiting to see where this goes next, but… yeah. :(

        2. … Joyce and Dorothy themselves said they realized they lost basically all their friends when they talked to Asma???

          for reals tho they had better been SERIOUS about bowling night! D:<

        3. I broadly am not enjoying the Doyce pairing or this story arc, and I don’t expect that to change.

          But Joe’s behaviour is obviously, clearly, delusional cope because the alternative is heartbreak. I have no idea how Willis is going to resolve that, but they are clearly doing something with it.

        4. I get where you’re coming from, though I will say that the recent interaction between Joe and Dina gave me the feeling that this is going to lead to more character development for Joe. This is basically a new flaw that he has picked up as a result of all the work he’s done to sort himself out emotionally; he’s overcorrected in his attempts to grow. He’s gone from being careless about his actions to focusing so much on holding himself accountable that he’s blaming himself even when he’s been wronged. Which has led to him enabling some shitty behavior. I’m remaining hopeful that this will be treated as yet another flaw that he needs to overcome on his path to maturity.

          … Though I think Willis has waited too damn long to show any sign of accountability for Joyce, so hope is dwindling fast on that front.

        5. Not being snotty here, but it has ‘effected’ (made happen) quite a lot of things, whereas I think you are more likely to mean ‘affected’ (caused change to). But please correct me if you did mean effected and you thing nothing has happened.

        6. Odo, I think you have a fundamental misconception. For Joe to think it was his fault he would have to believe that someone did something wrong.

    4. pretty sure danny is doing this as a defense mechanism because he, as a character in the story, has emotional stakes in the current situation and is (poorly) attempting to make it seem bad in a way that isn’t revealing of his longstanding emotional baggage

    5. chances are this strip was written months before Willis ever even saw any of the criticism

      1. Making this all the funnier, if so?

    6. Uhhhh I’m not sure if Danny is actually intended to be particularly in the wrong here?

      1. Yeah, I just figured it was a call-back to the very last thing him and Dorothy talked about and he was slightly offended at her assuming he would engage in cheating behaviour because he was bi. Then what does Dorothy do shortly after talking to him and discovering she was bi…?

        1. Glad you mentioned that because I completely forgot that conversation. Dorothy really did just completely ignore what Danny told her. Which I suppose was obvious from how that conversation ended.

        2. Oh well done. You folks who have an actual infactual intact memory!

    7. I think it’s hilarious we assume Danny making the argument renders it invalid.

      :D

      1. It has something to do with the fact that it is immediately undercut by Joe.

        The reason why cheating is bad is because it is a violation of trust. Then we have Joe, the victim of the cheating, saying “It’s all good. Actually it was my decision” which undermines the entire basis for the cheating being bad in the first place. Instead of having harm we just have the theoretical potential for harm.

        So Danny is saying something perfectly reasonable, but the universe is conspiring to excuse Joyce and Dorothy anyway.

        1. In my humble opinion, there is nothing to excuse, and I’m not the only one. So, really, universe, or just some people?

    8. Come on now, that doesn’t seem like a fair read.

  8. Joe has a point. He did basically tell Dotty to do it.

    1. He definitely pushed Dorothy to get her shit figured out. I don’t think he really anticipated this exact sequence of events, and him trying to act like he did is him coping.

      1. Maybe you should try believing Joe when he says, explicitly and repeatedly, that he was deliberately trying to get Joyce Dorothy. He’s said in the past that he believes that wingman is the highest calling. (I can’t find the strip right now; it’s not the one called “Wingman”, though that’s also relevant.) He’s just being wingman for his girlfriend, like a good Joe.

        1. Yes, again, as I specifically said, he was trying to get Dorothy to figure her shit out, and probably expected that he might have to share Joyce with her – he told Joyce as much, by way of saying that he wanted her to have what she wanted. Did he expect they’d just go off and kiss before actually having a conversation? Did he expect Joyce would cheat on him in that way? I think that’s a lot less clear!

        2. I mean… I’m certainly open to the possibility. I even think it might be a probability at this point. I just think it would be bad writing to do it that way.

          Coping is much more interesting. It gives the cheating actual stakes because it would mean Joe was actually harmed by it. It gives something for the narrative to unravel. How will Joe realize that he’s hurt? What will happen when he does?

          Instead we have a whole lot of nothing.

        3. I don’t want Joe to have succeeded at being a wingman. Joe being a garbage wingman is an important character trait that should be preserved.

        4. Meh. I don’t know if I buy that. I respect Joe’s sentiment but in the moment it reads more like he was being supportive because they both like the same person and that Joyce is a great person worth loving. Not saying “Hey you should go steal my girlfriend.”
          ——
          https://www.dumbingofage.com/comic/suggestion/

          ——-

          Also I just hate it because it robs a ton of agency and consequence from one of the comics biggest moments. Over a decade of build up to Joyce and Dorothy but really it was Joe with the last minute push that made it happen. I’d prefer it be cope.

    2. “This was my plan all along” I say, after biting my hand to hold back the tears

      1. “I’m fine.”
        : )
        “You’re… fine.”
        “I’m fine.” -_-

    3. “But when are Dorothy and Joyce gonna do it?!”
      “‘Do it’? Danny, I’m not a republic serial villain, do you seriously think I’d be alone masterstroking if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? She did Dorothy thirty-five minutes ago”

      1. Also, twenty-five minutes ago. And fifteen. As for five minutes ago? Well, Danny, I think you know the answer to that.

  9. I don’t get how it’s biphobia from the perspective of Danny

    1. It’s biphobia from Danny in the same way the Dorothy/Joyce kiss at the protest was problematic: Metatextually.

      But also Danny and Dorothy had a conversation (maaaan I hope the multi-character tagging is fixed soon, so I can find it) where Dorothy raised the possibility that being bisexual might lead to cheating and Danny got kind of mad at it. That’s why he wasn’t complaining about biphobia that Joyce cheated, it’s Dorothy specifically doing it right after their conversation that’s setting him off.

      1. But that’s Dorothy not being moral, not Dorothy being biphobic? Ah or is it that basically the biphobia is Dorothy assuming he’s a cheater because he’s bi, but I still don’t see how this has any relevance to what’s happening now

        1. It kind of doesn’t which I think is part of the joke of this strip. The relevancy only really being Danny warning of the biphobic cheating stereotype and Dorothy reinforcing that.

        2. Exactly what Sirksome said. Danny doesn’t immediately have a good explanation to externalize for his complex feelings on what has occurred, since neither Sal nor Joe are privy to his prior conversation with Dorothy, so he blurts out the closest thing he can think of for why he’s so mad at Dorothy right now, even if it doesn’t make much sense. Classic set-up for a non-sequitur punchline,

      2. Seconded on the multi-tag search thingy.

      3. Fortunately, that was basically the last time Danny showed up, so it was still at the top of his tags:
        https://www.dumbingofage.com/comic/comfortingbodycontact/

    2. It’s a callback to earlier in the comic before the timeskip, I think there was at least one or two occasions where Danny was coming to grips with being bi. The joke was that any time he experienced an inconvenience it was ‘biphobia’ because he was being inconvenienced and he’s bi. Example: https://www.dumbingofage.com/comic/bangst/

  10. Imagine waking up one day and reading the author stare right into your eyes and say, “you’re Danny. Danny is who you are.”

    1. Even if that were true, I can’t grasp how that’s a bad thing? About right now in the narrative, Danny is one of the only characters it isn’t embarrassing to be compared to?

      1. Well, that’s not universal to all readers, is it? You might think that. Others might read Superglucose’s comment and think, Fuck yeah, fancy being called a ‘Danny’!

  11. Can’t believe you’d personally encourage those harmful stereotypes, Joe. This is why people hate bisexuals, it’s entirely your fault. Smh my head.

  12. “Wait! Is that…is that DANNY’S MUSIC PLAYING?!?”

    “BAWH GAWD IT’S DANNY COMING TO THE RING WITH A MUCH NEEDED STEEL CHAIR OF DRAMA!”

  13. Danny shouts, “ THIS IS BIPHOBIA!” Kicks Joe into pit.

  14. Don’t trust biphobia.

  15. I wonder what Willis was thinking watching comments complaining about Joyce and Dorothy playing in to harmful stereotypes knowing full well this strip was in the pipeline

    1. Also the commenting experience is still not good on mobile, it’s still sending me to an error page every time I comment

      Edit: ok it didnt for this, this is also the first time I’ve seen the edit button

      1. The commenting experience isn’t great on desktop either. Very much a work in progress.

      2. I only read and comment on desktop, and it’s the same for me.

  16. So I am not really happy with Danny’s commentary being played as a joke here. I do feel uncomfortable about how many of the bisexual women, specifically, in this comic have been portrayed as “unfaithful” in one way or another. Of course there are going to be messy college relationships, and of course characters should not be immune to making such mistakes just because they’re bi. But like… Joyce and Dorothy came out by cheating, Ruth outright told Jennifer that she would ditch her boyfriend if Jennifer asked, and Jennifer while dating Ruth made at least one remark about, IIRC, not attending a party because there would be no boys to fuck her.
    +
    On the other hand, the most prominent bisexual male characters, to my memory, are Danny (who spoke out against the idea of bisexuals cheating by the nature of being bisexual) and Asher (who lean into Ethan’s first kiss for a moment, but who broke it off and immediately told his girlfriend about it). Please correct me if I’m missing something!
    +
    Please note, this is extremely personal to me. I am a bi woman. I am a bi woman who has been abused because of the stereotype that bi women, especially, are “faithless.” I was not allowed to see my female friends due to this perception.
    +
    And I KNOW that Willis genuinely is not trying to portray bisexuals in a harmful manner. I know they are bisexual themselves. But I don’t think that makes my discomfort with what’s happened thus far entirely invalid, either?
    +
    I am not a hater and I am not trying to start a bunch of discourse. Please don’t engage with me if you want to fight or snip. I just wanted to get this off my chest, because it’s something that bothers me and I know it was not at all the author’s intention.

    1. Joyce and Dorothy, 100% they got together after cheating on their boyfriends I agree with you there. However, I feel your other examples with Billie and Ruth aren’t actually examples of being unfaithful bisexuals. Ruth saying she would dump her boyfriend for Billie is… just that. Her saying she would break up to get back with her ex. I don’t view that as her being unfaithful, she and Jason are in a very casual relationship not something majorly committed. As for Billie, maybe this is me giving her the benefit of the doubt here but I remember her walking back that statement after Ruth points out herself and from my interpretation, it’s less “Billie wants to cheat on Ruth” and more “Billie is used to casual makeouts with guys and forgot she was dating Ruth for a moment”. After all, her date with Ruth WAS her first ever actual date. I understand your concerns, especially as far as Joyce and Dorothy go, I just wanted to clear the air a bit because I don’t think Ruth, Jennifer, or Sierra (another bi/pan female character) lean into the cheating bisexual relationship stigma. I’m a bi-ace afab myself so I get it.

      1. Doopyboop, thank you for this reply. I’ve suspected that my discomfort has been colored by my experiences into perhaps being overblown, and I knew it was entirely possible I was perceiving Jennifer and Ruth with a bit too much sensitivity. So I really do appreciate you presenting another point of view and clearing the air there, and especially for just saying you understand where I’m coming from. Thank you, sincerely.

        1. Of course! One bi person to another, I 100% get the concern. Too many instances of people insisting I need to ‘pick a side’ and such. I can’t say I completely approve of how Joyce and Dorothy got together and it is only because there’s other bi characters that haven’t cheated that keeps me from writing the whole comic off. It’s also just a frightfully common thing in media too so I getcha.

        2. Just wanna add that in the country I’m in, the ONLY place I have EVER heard this is from the comments in this comic. I am often puzzled by what may be just USA things! Also bi.

    2. I would note that the subject matter here is awkward college relationships. If anything this cast is shockingly faithful, even Dorothy + Joyce is about as clean as you can get while still being cheating.

      1. That’s fair. I understand.

  17. go, danny! for great justice!

  18. Thank you Danny.

    Finally. Someone reasonable

  19. Ah… so that’s how we’re doing this.

    Well, Dorothy *did* ask Danny for his opinion about whether discovering you were bisexual meant cheating was inevitable. More or less. So I do imagine he’s got some thoughts about that since he did already tell her that this would make her a bad person…

    Hm… this is gonna be more towards Dorothy though which means Joyce will continue to coast for a while longer. So that dulls the shine a little bit.

  20. Here’s the thing. Joe didn’t give Dorothy permission to go smooch Joyce. I even went back and reread that moment. He just told her to stop being weird about denying it, and that he empathized with her.

    And even if he did? Dorothy isn’t the person he should have been talking to about giving someone permission to cheat on their partner. Joyce wouldn’t have known Joe was weirdly okay with it, and Dorothy sure as hell didn’t tell her.

    And Danny is perfectly valid in being mad at Dorothy, given when she talked to him about being bisexual she just automatically assumed cheating on their partners was something bisexual people did. Then, when Danny told her that no, that’s something only a scumbag would do, she went ahead and did it anyway.

    1. My read on it is Joe is a bit in denial about the whole situation, as we’ve seen with him being hopeful that Joyce is coming back/they’re “not broken up”. He’s shown to think the worst about himself already, so maybe he’s doing this as a way of blaming himself instead of Joyce for how the situation went down? It could also tie in to his fear of becoming like his father but winding up more like his mother

  21. Crying and screaming and puking up seawater and shitting myself in the Denny’s and turning all my DVDs upside-down because Danny Wilcox has a speech bubble over him that contains the word “biphobia” and that means Mx.David Willis, Ph. D personally entered my home and snapped my aunt Melissa in half.

    1. rip to your aunt melissa, she always had the right opinions about which things were moral, and which things weren’t. now that she’s gone, i will never again know if anything a character does is morally wrong, ever again

    2. If Willis snapped MY Aunt Melissa in half, I would cheer because she is a hyuge bongo.

  22. Danny not knowing the new HOT couple of campus, one that was outed on the front page of a newspaper, is so Danny. rofl

  23. Breach of trust: eg “betrayal of the exclusivity and faithfulness expected in a committed partnership” Whoa. Expected? Was exclusivity and faithfulness expected? By Joe?
    Whoa. Committed? Had Dorothy made a commitment to Walky? Joyce possibly had, at least more so, at least implicitly, at least in her own mind.
    “entails sexual intimacy” Well, define sexual intimacy. I have been married by law twice for a total of 34 years. I have kissed people who were not my partner. Kissing is sexual intimacy?

  24. I’m glad Danny is upset about the cheating, but it seems odd to me that he’s more bothered by the idea that Dorothy and Joyce are contributing to the harmful stereotype of bi people as cheaters than the fact that Joyce cheated on Joe. I know Danny had a conversation with Dorothy about bisexuality and cheating earlier, but Joe is Danny’s long-time friend from years before they went to college. He should care more about how this has hurt Joe.

  25. Look I don’t care if they’re cheap, use some cover to prevent dust and damage when transporting your instrument.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.