Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, THIS STORYLINE ENDS SCRUBS-STYLE WITH MUSIC JUXTAPOSED OVER UNCONNECTED SCENES, BUT WITH JOHNNY CASH'S 'HURT' PLAYED TO UKULELE, COME STOP ME
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August 1, 2023

Dirt

by David M Willis on February 3, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - This Is the Way that We Love

└ Tags: amber, dorothy, jennifer, joyce, ruth, sal, sarah, walky

Discussion (302) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    February 3, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    Billie’s let down b/c no lobster or fancy bread =(

    (I’m let down b/c I found new ukulele strings but the actual uke is GARBAGE and also I can’t play)

    and THANKS Willis for cementing my least fave NIИ song in my head for basically FOREVAR

    • Throwaway Name
      Throwaway Name
      February 3, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

      I’m sorry about the old uke. Maybe take it to a shop to get it fixed up?

      • Dennis A Aleynikov
        Dennis A Aleynikov
        February 3, 2018 at 3:37 am | #

        with lyrics like these I’ll take it

      • DrunkenNordmann
        DrunkenNordmann
        February 3, 2018 at 4:57 am | #

        Please don’t call it uke; that kinda conjures the wrong kind of image.

        • biggo
          biggo
          February 3, 2018 at 5:22 am | #

          Well, it’s tiny, cute and surely “passive”. Doesn’t look like a seme to me XD

          • Joy
            Joy
            February 3, 2018 at 7:05 pm | #

            :/

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      February 3, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

      Cash version is great. I’ve been listening to it/covers for days.

      • Wright
        Wright
        February 3, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

        Johnny Cash is amazing.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          February 6, 2018 at 3:31 pm | #

          Yes. Yes he was.

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        February 3, 2018 at 12:44 am | #

        I feel like it’s a trend now that covers are more popular than the originals

        (prob from the fact I came back from a convention where 90% of the art for sale was unlicensed fan art)

        [also n/m the fact I’ve been trying to compose a cover for the past two days, oops]

        • Yumi
          Yumi
          February 3, 2018 at 12:51 am | #

          I like some covers okay and all, but usually not more than the original; this one is more of an exception for me. But I can’t speak to their overall popularity, I suppose.

          • Damoncord
            Damoncord
            February 3, 2018 at 7:38 am | #

            I think it’s more that it’s the man in black covering it that made it as awesome as it is.

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              February 3, 2018 at 9:06 am | #

              I’unno, there are some pretty awesome covers out there…

        • Professor Snugglesworth
          Professor Snugglesworth
          February 3, 2018 at 12:58 am | #

          How is that only a recent trend? Hendrix singing Watchtower, Ford singing Sixteen Tons, Rachmaninoff writing a whole rhapsody covering Paganini, it’s been popular for about as long as we’ve had music.

          • StClair
            StClair
            February 3, 2018 at 1:22 am | #

            I happen to like JonTron’s cover of Firework better than Katy Perry’s, and the Pet Shop Boys’ You Were Always On My Mind more than Willie Nelson’s. Some of it is surely which you’re exposed to first, and some is just a matter of taste.

            • Emperor Norton II
              Emperor Norton II
              February 3, 2018 at 1:39 am | #

              Now, I was about to say that Willie Nelson was covering Elvis Presley… But then I thought I’d better double-check this, and it turns out that they are -all- covers. The original recording was with Gwen McRae and Brenda Lee.

              And yeah, I have found out so many songs that turned out to be covers over the decades, that calling it a “recent trend” is… Well.

              I think what happened more often in the past was that people thought the cover was the original because back then, it was easier to get away with it; what with no internet and all.

              • dethtolldotmid
                dethtolldotmid
                February 3, 2018 at 2:22 am | #

                A lot of songs were shamelessly ripped off from black musicians, that’s why.

                • AndieStardust
                  AndieStardust
                  February 3, 2018 at 4:01 am | #

                  omg i retained that from a book i read! Like how Kid’s Bop decided to edit lyrics to remove unpalatable imagery, the original lyrics were saucy and clever as hell for the time period (and even now, on some songs) but got very very clean and given to white bands/artists. And some tried to sound like they were black!

                • Remmington Steele
                  Remmington Steele
                  February 3, 2018 at 9:59 am | #

                  Led Zeppelin got sued by Willie Dixon.

                  Mind you Led Zeppelin ripped off every one.

            • David DeLaney
              David DeLaney
              February 4, 2018 at 7:39 am | #

              … I just listened to the PSB version, and must now thank you immensely. Oh my.

              –Dave, next up, what have i done to deserve this?

          • Jimi
            Jimi
            February 3, 2018 at 1:37 am | #

            Exactly! Almost every widely beloved song was a cover or reimagining or written by someone besides its known performer, and I promise everything else was at least heavily inspired by something.

            • Ensiform
              Ensiform
              February 3, 2018 at 2:55 pm | #

              “Almost every?” That is factually wrong. Actually nearly every (when it isn’t every single) well known song by Billy Joel, Bob Dylan, the Beatles, Credence Clearwater Revival, Lou Reed, Jonathan Coulton, They Might Be Giants, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Green Day, Rancid, Tom Waits, David Bowie, Boston, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen, the Eagles, the Doors, etc etc etc etc were written by the artists.

              • hoop
                hoop
                February 3, 2018 at 6:56 pm | #

                it takes a special kind of nerd to put Jonathan Coulton in a list with CCR and Black Sabbath

                • David DeLaney
                  David DeLaney
                  February 4, 2018 at 7:41 am | #

                  Hey, JC wrote a song every week for a _year_, and gave them all away on his website. Almost all of them are at least Very Good, and there’s a sizable chunk that are Excellent by any standard.

                  –Dave, appropriate for this story-ending: When You Go

          • Kamino Neko
            Kamino Neko
            February 3, 2018 at 1:44 am | #

            Yeah, it’s a long standing thing. It’s a key cause of what TV Tropes calls being Covered Up.

            • Goshii
              Goshii
              February 3, 2018 at 2:24 am | #

              Hey you need to put a warning with links like that! I am now forced to waste 2-3 hours of my life surfing through TV tropes Kamino!

              • Kamino Neko
                Kamino Neko
                February 3, 2018 at 2:35 am | #

                Hey, I mentioned the site outside the link!

                • Emperor Norton II
                  Emperor Norton II
                  February 3, 2018 at 2:52 am | #

                  The only safe play is to not link or mention it at all.

                • Carl-E
                  Carl-E
                  February 3, 2018 at 4:13 am | #

                  The only rule about TVtropes is: never link to TVtropes.

                • Clif
                  Clif
                  February 3, 2018 at 8:35 am | #

                  You forgot to provide a link.

                • Deanatay
                  Deanatay
                  February 3, 2018 at 9:16 am | #

                  If you’re gonna post links, post the right links.

                • Clif
                  Clif
                  February 3, 2018 at 10:38 am | #

                  I stand metatropically corrected.

          • Bruceski
            Bruceski
            February 3, 2018 at 3:01 am | #

            Hooked on a Feeling, you have BJ Thomas’s psychadelic rock electric sitar, and then there’s Blue Suede’s big brassy ooga chakas. One caught on more, but both made it their own.

            • Cody C.
              Cody C.
              February 3, 2018 at 4:12 am | #

              There’s actually another cover between the BJ Thomas version and the Blue Suede one by British artist Jonathan King, which also had the “Ooga Chakas”.

              • Liquid Len
                Liquid Len
                February 3, 2018 at 9:02 am | #

                Wow, never knew that version. Only thing I New of Jonathan King was his role in the start of Genesis.

                • NickG
                  NickG
                  February 3, 2018 at 6:35 pm | #

                  And, you know, convicted paedophile.

          • Schol-R-LEA
            Schol-R-LEA
            February 3, 2018 at 10:07 am | #

            Ever song Leadbelly wrote and someone else made famous.

        • JohnInCA
          JohnInCA
          February 3, 2018 at 2:10 am | #

          Arguably, listening exclusively to the original artist is a relatively modern trend in the history of music. Think about it: anything where the “original artist” died prior to the invention of the phonograph (1877) that you’ve heard? A “cover”. We don’t think of most of it that way because it’s normal that you hear “Some Pretentious Orchestra’s rendition of Four Seasons” or whatnot, but that’s effectively a “cover”.

          So I’d argue that folks have always liked hearing different artists, different takes, different inrepretations of the same “piece”. Whether it’s theater, music, paintings, we like “covers”, whether they’re played-straight “covers” or twists and altered takes (think the “winking” Mona Lisa painting).

          Long story short? “Covers” have always been popular. The real abnormality was the century where we rarely heard them, not the increased ease and prevalence of finding them now.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            February 3, 2018 at 8:05 am | #

            Though “Some Pretentious Orchestra’s rendition of Four Seasons” isn’t necessarily a “cover” in the same sense some modern covers are. Back then it was generally the composer that was considered important, not the orchestra that first performed it.

            It’s less common today, when many performers write their own songs or at least have have them written specifically for them, but it still happens – Some songwriter writes a song, Band A records it, but it doesn’t take off, then Band B records it and it does. Is Band B really doing a “cover” off Band A’s song or just playing the Songwriter’s song like Band A was?

        • Old Fart
          Old Fart
          February 3, 2018 at 4:57 pm | #

          Tito Puente’s original “Oye Como Va” is obscure compared to Santana’s brilliant cover. I wish more people knew about the original. Those horns!

          • Khno
            Khno
            February 3, 2018 at 5:52 pm | #

            And what a kind man too…

        • Lin
          Lin
          February 3, 2018 at 7:27 pm | #

          I mean, once Reznor heard the cover, he officially declared the song Cash’s song.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          February 6, 2018 at 3:35 pm | #

          I usually prefer the original to the cover. However I do like Captain Tractor’s version of The Last Saskatchewan Pirate better than the Arrogant Worms, however I did hear Tractor’s version first.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      February 3, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

      Cash’s cover is better than the original to me.

      • jmsr
        jmsr
        February 3, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

        That’s the weird part – it’s a song about depression written by an industrial metal / goth / leather band, which makes sense – but coming from Johnny Cash it’s actually BETTER.

        Maybe because i keep flashing to the trailer to Logan when i hear it?
        (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws2DPRL1Leo)

        • NickyRay
          NickyRay
          February 3, 2018 at 1:12 am | #

          First time commenter – I am stealing this from somewhere else where I read it long ago, but the difference between the NIN version and the Cash version is the difference between angst and despair. It’s even more brutal when you watch the video and realize the only a couple months after it was shot June died.

        • Goshii
          Goshii
          February 3, 2018 at 2:25 am | #

          I think its because Johnny really sells it what with the shit in his past that he had to deal with. I really wish i had been able to meet Johnny before he passed.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            February 3, 2018 at 3:06 am | #

            I think it’s kind of like ‘Me and Mrs. Jones‘, the content of the song just works better with an older voice. Listen to the original recorded by Billy Paul, then Michael Bublé’s cover. The cover still sounds good, but it’s missing something.

            For ‘Hurt‘, Johnny’s aged (and frankly, frail) voice sells it as a reflection on a lifetime of regrets, as opposed to the angst of a younger man who still has time to make up for them. I don’t think it would have had the same impact if he had recorded it in his 20s or 30s.

            • Remmington Steele
              Remmington Steele
              February 3, 2018 at 10:03 am | #

              Truth.

              Cash brings a life time of experience to a song in which he faces his mortality.

            • rectilinearpropagation
              rectilinearpropagation
              February 4, 2018 at 1:18 am | #

              Yes, exactly! It’s the voice.

              I honestly had no clue who Johnny Cash was when I first heard this and knowing nothing about him and only hearing this one song I was all, “This man has been through some serious shit”.

              I also think that Cracked makes a good point about the one lyric change in the cover: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-covers-that-improved-lyrics-famous-songs/

        • ArrDeeGee
          ArrDeeGee
          February 3, 2018 at 2:31 am | #

          Cash spent his life singing the blues, doesn’t fit any better than that.

        • wraith_ferron
          wraith_ferron
          February 3, 2018 at 6:41 pm | #

          It’s a song about depression and lamenting life’s choices. I say that a person dying of cancer while estranged from much of his family and former friends fits pretty well.

      • silentNate
        silentNate
        February 3, 2018 at 12:39 am | #

        Must be awful to be just so wrong about something :p

        I detest the Cash cover version, Trent’s was such a beautiful and original song. My third favourite NIN song after Twist and Right Where It Belongs…

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          February 3, 2018 at 12:42 am | #

          I must be the only one who feels it’s a lateral move

          just really don’t care for either

        • Tricia
          Tricia
          February 3, 2018 at 1:05 am | #

          It was a beautiful and original song, but Cash put the real *emotion* into it. He brought it to life. And the music video really cements it as the quintessential version in my eyes.

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          February 3, 2018 at 4:52 am | #

          Right Where It Belongs is my fave too.

        • Wereg
          Wereg
          February 3, 2018 at 1:23 pm | #

          Yeah. Such a shame that Reznor absolutely adores the Cash version, to the point of not even considering it HIS song anymore.

      • Tricia
        Tricia
        February 3, 2018 at 12:59 am | #

        Even Reznor said that Cash did the song much better.

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          February 3, 2018 at 1:57 am | #

          Which might have been why Reznor later did his own toned-down live performance, using only a piano and his own hurt voice:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQRmCy6LfjI

          • PB
            PB
            February 3, 2018 at 3:29 am | #

            You found my favorite version!

            • Emperor Norton II
              Emperor Norton II
              February 3, 2018 at 2:38 pm | #

              You’re welcome!

      • Noxx
        Noxx
        February 3, 2018 at 1:50 am | #

        Cash hit it out of the park. A lot of folks felt like many of his American Recordings series felt gimmicky, but some songs like “Hurt” and “Heart of Gold” were completely remade by his delivery at the end of his life, in contrast to the respective writers youth. Just a towering performance, and so heartfelt.

        • Stu
          Stu
          February 3, 2018 at 12:40 pm | #

          Agreed on that.
          Also, one of my standard bearers for “Better than the original” is “Mad World” as done by Gary Jules – https://youtu.be/4N3N1MlvVc4 – over the original by Tears for Fears (https://youtu.be/u1ZvPSpLxCg), where the music kind of overshadowed the depressing lyrics.

  2. Miguel
    Miguel
    February 3, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    So is Billie sad with Ruth?

    • Calibus
      Calibus
      February 3, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

      No. She’s conflicted. She’s completely straight, but she is dating a woman and it’s just dawning on her again. It’s also because shes dressed finely and at a bar. It’s not the kind of date she was going for. Ruth is just so damn manly and she’s just a whole lot of woman.

      Just my perceptive of things

      • Joy
        Joy
        February 3, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

        Ew. Bad.

      • Joy
        Joy
        February 3, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

        Try again, dude.

      • Suzi
        Suzi
        February 3, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

        1) Definitely not completely straight. She’s had at least two girlfriends. But it looks like she doesn’t know what she wants from a relationship, or life. It’s a hard place to be.
        2) How exactly is Ruth “manly”?

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          February 3, 2018 at 1:38 am | #

          BEER AND SPORT ARE FOR MEN (apparently)

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          February 3, 2018 at 3:14 am | #

          Billie’s bi, but doesn’t believe that’s a thing.

          • Joy
            Joy
            February 3, 2018 at 7:06 pm | #

            Yeah

        • Emily
          Emily
          February 3, 2018 at 6:38 am | #

          I think it’s more that Billie’s self-image is that she’s straight and she’s struggling to reconcile that with, you know, dating a woman.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            February 3, 2018 at 8:10 am | #

            More subtly that Billie’s self-image is “normal”, and that therefore it must be normal to like girls. Because she’s not queer or anything weird like that.
            And she’s starting to realize that’s not how the rest of the world is going to see it.
            I don’t think she’s ever used the word straight or expressed any trouble with liking girls.

            I’d also read that particular scene more literally off the lyrics: “I will let you down”. That strikes at Billie’s toxic self-image.

          • Proto
            Proto
            February 4, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

            Frankly I saw it as Billie realizing that maybe she’s not all that compatible with Ruth. Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of the Ruth/Billie pairing because of the quite frankly creepy way it started (to quote Carla, shoves is not loves). Now that she’s actually getting some positive reinforcement from her new dormmates she’s more closely examining her relationship.

            • Vi
              Vi
              February 4, 2018 at 3:36 am | #

              I dunno, I think she is pretty happy with Ruth. Billie is enjoying her own game on the other screen, because Billie also likes sports. Ruth makes her happy. They enjoy each other and they’re learning now to enjoy each other in healthier and less destructive ways. I think they’re compatible.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        February 3, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

        Just… no.

      • Kole
        Kole
        February 3, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

        willis has stated multiple times she’s bi… no. nice try but absolutely not.

        • jeffepp
          jeffepp
          February 3, 2018 at 12:39 am | #

          Not only is she into girls, but every one around her recognized it. her attraction wasn’t very subtle.

      • No Name
        No Name
        February 3, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

        I think what Calibus was trying to say was that Billie still identifies as straight, and has conflicting feelings about the whole “bi” thing. Not sure about the rest of it though.

        • Huehuetotl
          Huehuetotl
          February 3, 2018 at 12:57 am | #

          That’s how I read it too. A sports bar isn’t how she imagines a date, so that’s maybe getting her into the “this isn’t normal” train of thought.

          • not someone else
            not someone else
            February 3, 2018 at 2:16 am | #

            I mean maybe but I feel like the convenient lyric text overlay might be a useful indicator as to what actual problem is and it seems to be implying something else

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              February 3, 2018 at 3:16 am | #

              I read it as she’s looking at her cup. They’re both recovering alcoholics trying to dry out, yet here they are drinking in a sports pub.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                February 3, 2018 at 8:12 am | #

                I’m not at all convinced Billie is in any sense a recovering alcoholic. Have we seen any indication she’s stopped drinking or made any attempt to do so? Last time we saw her drink was with Dorothy, IIRC, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been doing so off-stage, like she has all semester.

                Ruth is, definitely.

              • Joy
                Joy
                February 3, 2018 at 7:07 pm | #

                Ohhhhh crap.

              • Vi
                Vi
                February 4, 2018 at 3:39 am | #

                I’m not super sure they’re drinking alcohol, actually! I feel like there’d be more drama about a relapse. Ruth has been careful so far. With the straws, those cups could be full of soda super easily.

            • hof1991
              hof1991
              February 3, 2018 at 10:13 am | #

              OK. This is sequential art. The words in the panel matter and are not accidental. We aren’t watching a random video camera. This is an artist making choices.

              She is enjoying the date, but what has lasted in her life. Who hasn’t she let down? She doesn’t trust this is real and that it will last. That’s fair and honest. It should make her work harder to make it work.

              • Vi
                Vi
                February 4, 2018 at 3:37 am | #

                I really think this interpretation makes sense. Thanks for this.

          • Vi
            Vi
            February 4, 2018 at 3:37 am | #

            I mean, Billie was kind of the one that suggested they GO to the bar and have a non-normative date, by telling Ruth she didn’t have to try so hard. She suggested something more them and less stilted and attempting to do what they think a date SHOULD be.

        • UniqueSnowflake2
          UniqueSnowflake2
          February 3, 2018 at 4:27 am | #

          Billie is out to everyone but herself.

      • Partially Seconded
        Partially Seconded
        February 3, 2018 at 2:39 pm | #

        I’m definitely getting those vibes too, despite what people are saying. I think you can’t have the second Billie panel without also looking at the first and the context from that whole arc. Billie is questioning her bisexuality in the face of seeing ‘normal’ in her life (the new dorm, her expectations for the date) for the first time in a long time. She’s asking ‘is this really what I want?’, ‘is this who I am?’, and ‘how long can I keep this up?’

        I think she’s got a wicked imposter syndrome thing going on. Not to mention that she’s still drinking. ‘What will happen to my feelings for you if I stop drinking? What if it’s all fake?’.

    • seregiel
      seregiel
      February 3, 2018 at 3:53 am | #

      I got the pairing of the lyrics to mean she’s having family and Alice flashbacks. They are having a ball now, but when is it going to drop and become toxic again? When is Ruth going to flee from her like everyone else before? Family isn’t there, that’s why she has all the pocket money as emotional support. Sal had left (for own reasons but she had grown up with her) and then that wasn’t a solid place for back up when she was getting hazed. Her old clique is gone and she spent a summer in isolation after drunk driving. She is thinking she will fail this person who she grnuininely cares about and then there will be no one.

    • Stu
      Stu
      February 3, 2018 at 12:42 pm | #

      I think it’s a matter of Billie realizing that she’d basically bragged about banging her RA at the new dorm while completely downplaying the emotional attachment, which means that she may not be taking the relationship as “seriously” as Ruth – which would also make sense, given her dating history in general.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        February 3, 2018 at 1:52 pm | #

        I think she’s taking it as seriously, though she did downplay the emotional side, which is likely to come back to bite her when Ruth comes over to her place to visit.

  3. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    February 3, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    I’M NOT CRYING, YOU ARE.

    • Passchendaele
      Passchendaele
      February 3, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

      and now “Praise You” is playing on the radio so my emotions are confused.

  4. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    February 3, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    Walky perfectly illustrating what breaking up feels like: an empty box of McNuggets.

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      February 3, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      Isn’t THAT Special…Sauce?

    • jeffepp
      jeffepp
      February 3, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

      That, or what you feel like after eating McNuggets. He’ll soon be producing an “Empire of Dirt”, and it will “Hurt”.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      February 3, 2018 at 12:40 am | #

      Or it could also feel like a stomach with fifty McNuggets in it.

      • jeffepp
        jeffepp
        February 3, 2018 at 12:43 am | #

        The box will be full again VERY soon.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      February 3, 2018 at 10:17 am | #

      Walky has what he dreams of – more nuggets than a human should eat. And its nothing now. He made the choice to step away from a relationship with Dorothy (though she was about to choose that too). He can have pajama jeans, nuggets, hours of cartoons – and now he know just how meaningless that is.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      February 3, 2018 at 1:55 pm | #

      Looks like freedom, but it feels like death

      • NickG
        NickG
        February 3, 2018 at 6:40 pm | #

        Something inbetween, I guess.

  5. Twirls
    Twirls
    February 3, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    Billie what’s wrong!?

  6. Derek
    Derek
    February 3, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    I am concerned about Billy’s mood swing from such a smile to such a downcast face

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      February 3, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

      Yeah, if I’m guessing it may still be a ‘I’m dating a girl’ or ‘we can’t do Dating Right’ thing (if it’s the latter and only Fancy Restaurants count as dating I never want to do so but, you know, Billie is Billie and has weird ideas), but Valentines Day is coming. Unfortunately.

      • Rosicrucian
        Rosicrucian
        February 3, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

        In the timeframe that Willis scripts, it’s going to be Valentines Day in, like, 2019.

        • No Name
          No Name
          February 3, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

          And with our luck, it’ll happen on Valentine’s day.

          • Yumi
            Yumi
            February 3, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

            I think what was meant was that Billie-Ruth drama, if (lol) it’s coming, wouldn’t happen until Valentine’s Day 2019.

            People are talking about RL Valentine’s Day when they mention it coming up. Also, in-comic Valentine’s Day would be way more than a year from now at this rate, if it ever happens.

            • Clif
              Clif
              February 3, 2018 at 1:21 pm | #

              Valentines day is about relationships.

              Relationships :

              Ruth/Billie/alcohol
              Joyce/Jacob/Raidah/Sarah
              Mike/Ethan/Danny
              Sal/Marcie/Malaya
              Dorothy /Walky/Yale
              Leslie/Anna/Mindy
              Amber/Amazigirl
              Carla/Lucy/Joe

              Valentines day is coming…

              Be very very afraid.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                February 3, 2018 at 1:53 pm | #

                Carla/Lucy/Joe?

                • David DeLaney
                  David DeLaney
                  February 4, 2018 at 7:58 am | #

                  Sal/Danny/Ukulele.

                  –Dave, Sarah/Joyce/privacy chair

                • Clif
                  Clif
                  February 4, 2018 at 11:40 pm | #

                  Shh! It’s a secret.

        • Joe
          Joe
          February 3, 2018 at 2:11 am | #

          More like 2030. It’s been seven years and they’re still in the same semester.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            February 3, 2018 at 3:26 am | #

            Willis has said he won’t live long enough to get them through their sophmore years.

  7. Rosicrucian
    Rosicrucian
    February 3, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    So I guess Amber’s going to finally talk to Dorothy.

    I mean, really talk.

    • missilentmurmur
      missilentmurmur
      February 3, 2018 at 1:42 am | #

      I’m looking forward to it

    • Lingo
      Lingo
      February 3, 2018 at 2:05 am | #

      Their last conversation really didn’t go well … so, I’m surprised that this one looks like it will be drama-free? (Assuming so because it’s the last strip in the storyline.)

  8. Meta
    Meta
    February 3, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    “My sweetest friend” <3

  9. Regalli
    Regalli
    February 3, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    Well at least someone’s going to keep Dorothy from studying herself to death.

  10. adjudicus
    adjudicus
    February 3, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    Oh thank god amber didn’t do anything

    • Clif
      Clif
      February 3, 2018 at 9:46 am | #

      Yet.

  11. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    February 3, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    my empire of chicken nugget crumbs

    • PB
      PB
      February 3, 2018 at 3:28 am | #

      … Doesn’t roll off the tongue as well, but I like your style.

  12. BBCC
    BBCC
    February 3, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    Sure, Sal, go ahead, knee me in the emotional ribs some more.

  13. Yumi
    Yumi
    February 3, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    I can fuck with a Scrubs-style ending.

    Also, I’m not as sure about the timing of some of these panels, but I’ll interpret it in the “man did Amber get off the roof and changed fast” way.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      February 3, 2018 at 1:25 am | #

      They’re timed to the lyrics that fit the characters, not the clock.

      https://youtu.be/q2nNzNo_Xps

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        February 3, 2018 at 1:32 am | #

        That’s what I kind of figure, but I also like the “Yes, this is all happening at this exact moment as corresponds with the song” version.

        • Clif
          Clif
          February 3, 2018 at 8:48 am | #

          Amber has the ability.to be in two places at once. It’s the result of a lab accident while practicing extreme Parkour.

  14. Archivist
    Archivist
    February 3, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

    This is so fucking good, dammit, why.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      February 3, 2018 at 1:26 am | #

      It is great, but also… Ow.

  15. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    February 3, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

    Nice way to wrap a chapter…

    Except what’s on Billie’s mind?

  16. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    February 3, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

    Wow, that is pretty much Full Scrubs, yep.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      February 3, 2018 at 1:29 am | #

      Not yet. Danny’s still gotta wax philosophical about the lessons everybody learned together today.

      • Emperor Norton II
        Emperor Norton II
        February 3, 2018 at 2:51 am | #

        And then Joe’s gotta come in with some toxic masulinity and call Danny a girl’s name at the end of it. But Danny will still look up to Joe as his mentor.

  17. Inahc
    Inahc
    February 3, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    Amber is checking up on dorothy like she said she would 🙂 yay!

    • Clif
      Clif
      February 3, 2018 at 9:55 am | #

      This is the lead in to the sequence of strips where Amber finally frees herself from Amazigirl by murdering Dorothy.

  18. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    February 3, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    I nominate the name “Griff” for the random sportsbar patron behind Billie and Ruth.

    • threePwny
      threePwny
      February 3, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

      Am I allowed to second and third this?

  19. threePwny
    threePwny
    February 3, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

    Goddammit I found this comic three days ago and caught up today and for the love of God I NEED TOMORROW’S STRIP NOW.

    I just wanna read seven years of comics in half a week again :'(

    Oh waaaaaait

    • Tan
      Tan
      February 3, 2018 at 4:15 am | #

      You poor bastard.

      Welcome.

      We have cookies to ease the torturous wait.

      • Clif
        Clif
        February 3, 2018 at 8:58 am | #

        If you need to read tomorrow’s strip, does Willis have a deal for you. Check out the Patreon ink at the top of the page.

        • threePwny
          threePwny
          February 3, 2018 at 3:43 pm | #

          Well, I can afford $1 a month, so it’s time for bonus strips! Someday, I’ll have money…

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      February 3, 2018 at 8:15 am | #

      Well, there’s It’s Walky! and Shortpacked! to work through. 🙂

      • adjudicus
        adjudicus
        February 3, 2018 at 10:56 am | #

        Questionable Content (it’s by a different author) is pretty good as well

        • threePwny
          threePwny
          February 3, 2018 at 3:38 pm | #

          Oh, yeah, one of Willis’s guest strips there is how I even learned about this. I remember when Homestuck was my only webcomic… Pepperidge Farm remembers

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      February 3, 2018 at 5:40 pm | #

      And if you want a relatively short (and also finished now) but super-duper adorkable story about the dorkiest of dorks ever, there’s Always Human.

      It comes with Bagge’s* Certified Stamp of “D’AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW!” approval©™.

      *Bagge is one of the sillier regular commenters here. And considering how silly the rest of us are…

  20. Calibus
    Calibus
    February 3, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    RIP my emotions. This webcomic is too damn relatable.

  21. Yumi
    Yumi
    February 3, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    Fuck, this is probably in part emotions from volunteering catching up with me, but I just started crying at this strip, especially Sal’s expression.

  22. Joy
    Joy
    February 3, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

    I’m crying and hyperventilating.

  23. Keulen
    Keulen
    February 3, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

    Random hockey fan guy in the second panel needs a name.

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      February 3, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

      He’s going to be killed by a truck tomorrow, so no need.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        February 3, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

        Truck-kun has bills to pay and needs the overtime.

  24. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    February 3, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

    We interrupt the very emotional scene to award C.T Phipps 7 Imperial Internet Points for making the following accurate prediction about Ruth and Billie two days ago:

    “They should go to the bar where the game was on and drink soda!”

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      February 3, 2018 at 12:57 am | #

      Unless they like drinking beer with straws, I suppose. For all I know, that’s a thing beer drinkers do.

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        February 3, 2018 at 1:19 am | #

        It’s not, and they’re both underage and trying to quit alcohol.

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          February 3, 2018 at 1:24 am | #

          Did We mention you’re hereby only ever allowed to do comments where you reply disapprovingly to someone, to ensure that your avatar is always fitting?

          If not, We are proclaiming it now.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          February 3, 2018 at 8:16 am | #

          Again, I’m not at all sure Billie’s trying to quit.
          As for underage, witness the strip a few days back about getting wine at the restaurant with her fake ID.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            February 3, 2018 at 8:17 am | #

            But yes, I suspect (and hope) that’s soda.

  25. Joy
    Joy
    February 3, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

    HONESTLY i want a poster of the panel with billie/ruth without any text!

  26. Nameless_Steve
    Nameless_Steve
    February 3, 2018 at 12:27 am | #

    lol walky

    • Nameless_Steve
      Nameless_Steve
      February 3, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

      That lyric matches up better than any Scrubs episode

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        February 3, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

        Maybe, but the Scrubs episode ending with “How to Save a Life” is always welcome to stab me in the gut.

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          February 3, 2018 at 2:10 am | #

          …I just had to find that scene.

          Now I’m stabbed in the gut as well.

          And that song could also have been used in this strip. To further stab our guts.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      February 3, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

      I’m proud of him.

  27. tirachokko
    tirachokko
    February 3, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

    I feel like panel…4, is great at point blank showing that Walky is actually hurt by the going on break thing and has been coping by…not coping at all really. It’s interesting to see the twins in a similar place too.

  28. Some1
    Some1
    February 3, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

    Dungeons and Dumbing Part 12

    Right before Billie’s words could take effect she felt a hand on her ankle and she was yanked back into the bubble by Joyce.

    Joyce: Don’t be an idiot Billie.

    They watched as the electricity shot through the air, electrifying the water around them and burning the behemoth. It thrashed around and let it tentacles beat against the water in furious anger, but it eventually lay still.

    Walky: Is it dead?

    Joyce: I think its just paralyzed. Walky hold my bauble.

    Walky snatched the blue bauble from the air and Joyce pulled out her sword. Swimming quickly she reached the head of the beast, and with a mighty thrust, injected her blade into its meaty tissue. The beast once again trashed, but she held tight as the octopuses blood started to surround her.

    In the end the beast lay still and toppled over, revealing the other entrance to the aqueduct.

    Dorothy: *waking up* ow, what the hell Billie? Wait, we one? WHY AM I ALWAYS KNOCKED OUT FOR THESE THINGS!

    Walky: *Shrugs shoulders*

    Billie: Whatever, let’s go.

    The group followed Joyce who swam through the cold water and broke the surface of the lake above them. She shuddered in the middle of the lake and noted their was a large mountain of ice sloping into the lake. She wondered how the hell they were going to get out of this, before she noted a small wooden boat coming to them.

    The boat was owned by a burly man who wore a heavy woolen coat. He tossed a rope down for Joyce, and lifted her into his dingy.

    Joyce: Thanks, my friends should be up soon.

    Burly Fisherman: Did you come from the aqueduct?

    Joyce: Yes.

    Burly Fisherman: But how did you get past the beast?

    Joyce: We killed it. Wasn’t fun.

    Burly Fisherman: That’s impossible, for a little girl to kill a Titan Octopus…

    Joyce: *gives him an annoyed look*

    Burly Fisherman: But, in order to be here, you must have slayed it. So I shall believe you slayed it. Ah it looks like your friends are here.

    Soon they were all on the dingy and headed towards the mountain village located at the edge of the lake. The lake was named fjellkanten and was surrounded on all sides by a snowy mountain that fed it water. According to Joyce’s rescuer, the village was made up of people who fished on the fish that lived within the lake, and made wool from the great furry beasts that roamed the mountain.

    • Some1
      Some1
      February 3, 2018 at 12:48 am | #

      Please ignore the fact that my world’s geography makes no sense. Snow can totally be blocked by a wall!

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        February 3, 2018 at 10:05 am | #

        And fish live in a melt pond?

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          February 3, 2018 at 12:12 pm | #

          Obviously they were introduced to the lake by the local fishermen. ‘s happened before in real life.

  29. Vinny
    Vinny
    February 3, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

    Go Ruth! Now that’s a hockey fan face. Especially if you’re a Leafs fan.

  30. nothri
    nothri
    February 3, 2018 at 12:32 am | #

    Excuse me, Alt-text, you are issuing an inherently impossible challenge. The comic is already finished and posted. You can’t stop what has already happened. Unless you have a time machine. So gimme a time machine, dammit!

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      February 3, 2018 at 12:38 am | #

      You could always ask the Doctor but why would you want to stop him in the first place?

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      February 3, 2018 at 1:17 am | #

      WILLIS HAS GONE MAD WITH POWER IS WHAT THE ALT TEXT IS SAYING! MAD I SAY!!!

      • LynziGraye
        LynziGraye
        February 3, 2018 at 11:13 am | #

        Of course he has! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring, no one listens to you!

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          February 3, 2018 at 1:51 pm | #

          Well, since his heir is posting right beneath you, the Emperor Norton managed it. He went mad without power and became respected and honored for it.

          Which is a pretty impressive feat.

          • Emperor Norton II
            Emperor Norton II
            February 3, 2018 at 2:03 pm | #

            The original Emperor Norton is one of my heroes.

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      February 3, 2018 at 2:18 am | #

      I have often posited that Willis does in fact make his strips the day they are posted, and then send them back in time to make it appear as if he has a buffer.

      • Clif
        Clif
        February 3, 2018 at 9:01 am | #

        Someone else has realized the truth!

        And now you know too much.

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          February 3, 2018 at 3:23 pm | #

          Thankfully, nobody will touch the Emperor, so We are safe.

          • David DeLaney
            David DeLaney
            February 4, 2018 at 8:03 am | #

            Just checking whether You have ever read the excellent webcomic Skin Horse. It takes a while, though getting there is quite worth it, but Your illustrious Sire eventually becomes part of the plot.

            –Dave, and his little dogs too!

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      February 3, 2018 at 9:23 am | #

      Come At Him, Bro

  31. adjudicus
    adjudicus
    February 3, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

    Props to Nicster216 for basically predicting what was going to happen today

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      February 3, 2018 at 9:24 am | #

      Indeed, well done!

  32. Questionor
    Questionor
    February 3, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

    Where are Sarah and Joyce?

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      February 3, 2018 at 3:34 am | #

      Looks like their dorm room.

      • Questionor
        Questionor
        February 3, 2018 at 3:54 am | #

        ah you’re right. found the lines, looks like they are actually in one of the beds. Though I can’t make out any of the blanket color so don’t know which bed.

  33. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    February 3, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

    Amber… Are you trying what I think you’re trying? Are you trying to reach out to Dorothy? Are you planning to tell her as much as you can about yourself, as much as you know about yourself, without trying to condemn yourself with every word?

    Are you finally getting a victory against yourself?

    Because if you are, then nothing would be sweeter. The war would certainly not be over, but this is the kind of victory that can turn the tides.

    And it certainly cannot be easy; because you don’t know about yourself… I mean, you do, you absolutely do… But I’m not sure you know the right words for your problems. Because you never got to see a therapist; much less a good one. You know about the struggle inside you, but I think your struggle talking with people about it is because all this knowledge is wordless knowledge. It’s not full knowledge, “just” a certainty, a feeling. And without the full knowledge, without the full understanding… That’s when you end up thinking that it’s all simply wrong. That you’re really just a monster.

    I hope so much that your talk with Dorothy is one where you don’t call yourself a monster.

    And I don’t know if what I just wrote is true. I’m probably wrong, as I often am. But I really wish it to be true. I wish it so hard. Just thinking about how it might be true would turn my tears about you into tears of joy.

    • lilyliv
      lilyliv
      February 3, 2018 at 1:03 am | #

      I’ll be honest, I shed some tears along with you reading this comment. I really hope you’re right!

  34. Screwball
    Screwball
    February 3, 2018 at 12:38 am | #

    *Rolls in pain* Argh, the feels, THE FEELS…

  35. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    February 3, 2018 at 12:39 am | #

    And Bagge will forever be stuck on the first panel, thinking “Awwwww! Big sis, little sis!”

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      February 3, 2018 at 12:50 am | #

      Except the lyrics are so on-the-nose for that panel they end up being subtle, as Sarah at least should be thinking about what kind of monster she’ll become if her plan for revenge ends up hurting her sweetest friend there. >:[

      Though Joyce seems to be making a habit now of dozing off cuddling with other ladies :3

      • Emperor Norton II
        Emperor Norton II
        February 3, 2018 at 12:56 am | #

        Can you imagine what would’ve happened if Becky saw the time Joyce dozed off with Dorothy?

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          February 3, 2018 at 4:32 am | #

          Something like this, I imagine
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/fox/

          • ValdVin
            ValdVin
            February 3, 2018 at 2:23 pm | #

            Top notch. Another example of keeping your title as this board’s preeminent Beckyologist.

            • Emperor Norton II
              Emperor Norton II
              February 3, 2018 at 2:41 pm | #

              Bagge always has a list of Becky strips handy for whenever the most current strip is not about Becky.

  36. KaitouKidisBae
    KaitouKidisBae
    February 3, 2018 at 12:39 am | #

    DAMN IT!! First half feels me with warm fuzzies and second half makes me want to cry big, fat, ugly sad tears!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      February 3, 2018 at 12:41 am | #

      because Willis

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      February 3, 2018 at 1:14 am | #

      I could re-do my go-to comment on how Willis is basically channeling the universe and the universe hates each and every one of us on a personal level, but….

      ….Actually, I guess I just did.

  37. Ivy
    Ivy
    February 3, 2018 at 12:44 am | #

    Aww poor walky
    His nuggets are all gone 🙁

  38. Some1
    Some1
    February 3, 2018 at 12:45 am | #

    Question: Who is Dumbing of Age’s Dueteragonist? Because it kinda feels like their are a shit ton of people who can fill the role.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      February 3, 2018 at 12:49 am | #

      Well, this isn’t an Ancient Greek drama, so it might not have a single deuteragonist. I mean, they’re definitely in a lot of modern works as well, but not all by any means.

    • StClair
      StClair
      February 3, 2018 at 1:25 am | #

      It’s an ensemble. Characters move in and out of focus/the spotlight.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      February 3, 2018 at 9:30 am | #

      Yeah, seeing that it’s hard to even pin down the prim-agonist – it’s nominally Joyce, but the focus bounces around so much, it’s hard to tell.

  39. chris73
    chris73
    February 3, 2018 at 12:47 am | #

    Billie and Ruth need to break up/pause or something, its pretty obvious they’ll drag each other down (ref drinking) be far better for them to break up, get help and, hopefully, get to a stage where they can be together but now isn’t it

    • Norah
      Norah
      February 3, 2018 at 4:12 am | #

      I think they’re drinking pop.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      February 3, 2018 at 8:21 am | #

      I think they’re far more likely to spiral back into self-hate and depression if they break up than to hurt themselves staying together. They’ve both got serious problems and alcohol is a big one, but their problems aren’t really each other.

      • PB
        PB
        February 3, 2018 at 11:29 am | #

        Yeah.

  40. Pika256
    Pika256
    February 3, 2018 at 12:47 am | #

    My GOD, you’re DRUNK with POWER!

  41. TheDOCTOR
    TheDOCTOR
    February 3, 2018 at 12:48 am | #

    I bet Sal has a beautiful singing voice.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      February 3, 2018 at 12:52 am | #

      I imagine she does too, but I also think this whole montage would be kind of hilarious if she had a singing voice like an angry cat.

      • Some1
        Some1
        February 3, 2018 at 12:55 am | #

        She actually sounds like a high pitched Simon Lane.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        February 3, 2018 at 1:35 am | #

        I dunno about an angry cat but she hasn’t sung in six years. Her voice is probably rusty.

        • missilentmurmur
          missilentmurmur
          February 3, 2018 at 1:50 am | #

          And she smokes, too

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            February 3, 2018 at 8:22 am | #

            A proper Blues singing voice is based on a couple decades of smoke and whiskey.
            Sal’s likely isn’t properly aged yet.

            • Gandalf007
              Gandalf007
              February 3, 2018 at 2:15 pm | #

              Janis Joplin didn’t need old age to get her powerful voice (sadly, a member of the “27 club”). Come to think of it, a Janis Joplin-ish singing voice would work really for Sal.

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          February 3, 2018 at 2:35 am | #

          It might be ‘rusty’, but I have a feeling that every single word is coming out with a rawness to it that can only come from really, -really- feeling the words of the song punch you as you sing it. And the rust might well just add to that, as if often does to certain types of songs.

          • saltchocolate
            saltchocolate
            February 4, 2018 at 2:37 am | #

            Duende, as Lorca would say.

      • C.
        C.
        February 3, 2018 at 1:39 am | #

        She has Applejack’s singing voice.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          February 6, 2018 at 3:55 pm | #

          I was thinking Deedee.

  42. (((Mkvenner)))
    (((Mkvenner)))
    February 3, 2018 at 12:51 am | #

    I actually like this ending.

  43. Noxx
    Noxx
    February 3, 2018 at 1:15 am | #

    Killed it.

    • Danni
      Danni
      February 3, 2018 at 1:44 am | #

      and me

      • David DeLaney
        David DeLaney
        February 4, 2018 at 8:06 am | #

        Ded. Of Romance.

        –Dave, happily clutching a pink lily

  44. BBCC
    BBCC
    February 3, 2018 at 1:16 am | #

    Sal looks like she’s going to cry. Combine that with the fact it’s her singing these lyrics, most likely about Marcie, and I also must look like I’m gonna cry.

  45. redfuzzy
    redfuzzy
    February 3, 2018 at 1:34 am | #

    Why would I stop you, this is magnificent!

    • PB
      PB
      February 3, 2018 at 3:27 am | #

      That’s what I said!

  46. Danni
    Danni
    February 3, 2018 at 1:35 am | #

    DAVID WILLIS, YOU MONSTER!

  47. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    February 3, 2018 at 1:36 am | #

    Walky “my life is empty like that box of fifty McNuggets”

    Uh why am I worried about Jennifer suddenly ?

    • Danni
      Danni
      February 3, 2018 at 1:38 am | #

      she’s let down people in the past, including ruth, and im guessing the thought going through her head right now is that she’ll yet again let ruth down in some way

  48. Stoodmuffin
    Stoodmuffin
    February 3, 2018 at 1:52 am | #

    Oh. We’re ending that route.

    You are literally foreshadowing the happiness going away. Okay, thanks Willis, fuck you too, I guess :p

    • Clif
      Clif
      February 3, 2018 at 10:32 am | #

      Now say Thankyou.

      • Clif
        Clif
        February 3, 2018 at 10:33 am | #

        And mean it this time.

  49. Noxx
    Noxx
    February 3, 2018 at 1:57 am | #

    This is the sort of sentiment that leads to Tom Waits mix tapes and lots of bourbon and bad ideas.

    • Clif
      Clif
      February 3, 2018 at 10:30 am | #

      Bourbon and Bad Ideas should be the name of something.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        February 6, 2018 at 3:56 pm | #

        Well bourbon and bad choices already exists, and it is pretty close.

  50. Kaunisenkeli
    Kaunisenkeli
    February 3, 2018 at 2:02 am | #

    Easily one of my favorite song of all time. 🙂

  51. BenRG
    BenRG
    February 3, 2018 at 2:21 am | #

    So, what do we have with the montage? We have Joyce being sweet and trusting of Sarah, something that never fails to make her feel like a heel for being so manipulative. We have Ruth and Billie enjoying the game (maybe in the worst possible way) and we have Amber, possibly inspired by what happened today, trying to make her peace with Dorothy.

    Then we have the negatives: Lonely Walky, Billie, clearly unsure about something – Is this who she is? Is this who she wants to be? – and we have lonesome, lonesome Sal.

    Still a long way to go for everyone.

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      February 3, 2018 at 2:43 am | #

      ” We have Ruth and Billie enjoying the game (maybe in the worst possible way)”

      They’re drinking Coke Zero?

      • PB
        PB
        February 3, 2018 at 3:27 am | #

        Dear god, ladies, there are less painful ways to confront conflicting emotions than over that swill.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        February 3, 2018 at 3:40 am | #

        Pepsi Max is better than Coke Zero, but regular Coke is better than regular Pepsi.

        Diet Pepsi”with classic sweetener mix” and Diet Coke are both equally foul, but in a nostalgic sense. Sometimes you just need the bitter, metallic aftertaste of aspartame.

        • Clif
          Clif
          February 3, 2018 at 10:07 am | #

          Original Coke with cane sugar is better than regular coke and Dr. Pepper, electric prune juice of the gods, is better than either.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            February 3, 2018 at 1:44 pm | #

            They all taste like carbonated battery acid. 🙂

            • Kaunisenkeli
              Kaunisenkeli
              February 3, 2018 at 9:31 pm | #

              Amen to that!

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          February 3, 2018 at 2:01 pm | #

          See, the really weird thing is… Other sodas generally don’t really change much when you have a diet version. Sure, it changes some, but not that much; and I generally don’t mind drinking them.

          But cola drinks are… So immensely fragile. No other soda type depends so much on being the right temperature, and even being eaten with the right food (you can’t drink cola while eating candy)! And of course, any sweetener that isn’t sugar will not change it slightly, it will ruin it.

          Of course, when -all- of the conditions to get a proper cola is met… It’s one of the best things ever.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            February 3, 2018 at 4:51 pm | #

            I discovered at one point that Mountain Dew doesn’t taste sweet if drunk with Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups.
            When Mountain Dew doesn’t taste sweet, it’s really nasty. 🙂

  52. Furious_Tomato
    Furious_Tomato
    February 3, 2018 at 2:22 am | #

    “In my work as an author, I traffic in fiction, I do not traffic in lies. With fiction, with art and writing, it’s important that even if you’re dealing with areas of complete outrageous fantasy, that there is an emotional resonance. It is important that a story ring true upon a human level, even if it never happened.” – Alan Moore.

    • PB
      PB
      February 3, 2018 at 3:26 am | #

      … You get a hug.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      February 3, 2018 at 8:23 am | #

      “All stories are true.”

      • David DeLaney
        David DeLaney
        February 4, 2018 at 8:08 am | #

        “Truth is stranger tha n fiction, because fiction has to make sense.”

        –Dave, doesn’t remember whence that cometh

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          February 6, 2018 at 4:01 pm | #

          Fortune Cookies

  53. Pl0x
    Pl0x
    February 3, 2018 at 2:29 am | #

    Prematurely spiteful alt-text, as per usual

  54. Kim
    Kim
    February 3, 2018 at 2:52 am | #

    Loooooce iiiiit!

    • Kim
      Kim
      February 3, 2018 at 2:53 am | #

      love*

  55. Kamino Neko
    Kamino Neko
    February 3, 2018 at 2:55 am | #

    Billie in the second to last panel…

    ‘Oh shit, we’re cheering for different teams. I don’t know if I can handle being in a mixed-faith marriage.’

    • Clif
      Clif
      February 3, 2018 at 10:13 am | #

      It’s okay. There’s a row of TVS and the aren’t even watching the same game, as you can tell by the direction they are looking. Billie is watching football, a game she actually understands. The sports fan behind them is watching professional wrestling.

  56. Jack
    Jack
    February 3, 2018 at 2:58 am | #

    How very David Simon of you.

    J’approve.

  57. Lulu
    Lulu
    February 3, 2018 at 3:17 am | #

    I didn’t need this comic page at all, bad ends all over everywhere.

    • Clif
      Clif
      February 3, 2018 at 10:15 am | #

      Oh we’re saving Mike and Ethan.

  58. Ainara
    Ainara
    February 3, 2018 at 3:18 am | #

    Scrubs is fantastic so I’m fine with this

  59. PB
    PB
    February 3, 2018 at 3:26 am | #

    … You had to do this right after I was watching the funny Scrubs videos, didn’t you, Willis.

    Also WHO’S CHOPPING ONIONS AT THIS HOUR STOP THAT

  60. Dana
    Dana
    February 3, 2018 at 3:50 am | #

    No electric guitar coming at “I could find a way”. 🙁

  61. Bagge
    Bagge
    February 3, 2018 at 3:51 am | #

    Amber DID go to see Dorothy. I’m glad for it.

    The date seems to go great… so panel 5? WHY IS BILLIE SAD IN PANEL 5?

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      February 3, 2018 at 4:41 am | #

      because she’s still depressed and it turns out a single good date doesn’t fix that? that’s my vote anyway

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        February 3, 2018 at 4:56 am | #

        Very probable… possibly triggered by the thought “I will let you down” to match the lyrics.

      • Zaxares
        Zaxares
        February 3, 2018 at 6:25 am | #

        I’m of two minds on that panel. The first is that despite Billie wishing for a “proper date”, they ended up at a bar watching sports anyway. We don’t know what transpired in between the strip where they were at the restaurant and after they arrived at the bar; maybe they had a nice dinner and went there afterwards, or maybe Ruth’s outburst got them thrown out for causing a scene. That’s why I’m just putting this scenario down as a “maybe”.

        The second, and perhaps more depressing, scenario hearkens back to Billie’s reaction when Becky called her a lesbian. Billie’s always prided herself on being “cool” and with the in-crowd, and being of LGBT persuasion would definitely result in her being cast out from that crowd. She’s probably having a “this isn’t how I imagined my life being” moment, and with her newfound acceptance at her new dorm, I think she may be having serious conflicts over whether to continue being with Ruth (especially as Ruth seems to want very different things out of a relationship than she does), or to go back to being with the in-crowd again, where she’s popular and liked.

        • TemperaryObsessor
          TemperaryObsessor
          February 3, 2018 at 4:14 pm | #

          It looks like they had a short conversation and realized that they would really rather be watching the game at a less fancy restaurant.
          If someone picks out a movie they are meh about because they think its what the other person is supposed to like and during the opening credits they realize they are actually pretty meh about the movie and were really looking forward to this other movie so they watch the other movie together instead its usually a good thing they had the guts to change the plan.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            February 3, 2018 at 4:52 pm | #

            I assume they actually got thrown out.

            The last line in their previous strip was “I think our waiter is throwing our coats at us.”

  62. Liliet
    Liliet
    February 3, 2018 at 4:39 am | #

    AMBER COMES TO TALK TO DOROTHY???? GOD BLESS????

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      February 3, 2018 at 4:57 am | #

      Of course. Dorothy still has some blessings to cash in
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/02-everything-youve-ever-wanted/distressed/

    • Clif
      Clif
      February 3, 2018 at 10:26 am | #

      There goes the old homework and getting into Yale.

  63. erejnion
    erejnion
    February 3, 2018 at 5:31 am | #

    SEE? Billie is genre-savvy and knows that shit will hit the fan now.

  64. owl_mage
    owl_mage
    February 3, 2018 at 7:18 am | #

    Just to throw this in the ring, Leo Moracchioli did a cover of Hurt:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoeCmeD_6Pw

  65. Disastromatic
    Disastromatic
    February 3, 2018 at 7:28 am | #

    Billie is just struggling with the reality in which the Maple Leafs are actually good.

  66. Just a Ian
    Just a Ian
    February 3, 2018 at 7:46 am | #

    i love this ending

  67. VanVelding
    VanVelding
    February 3, 2018 at 9:06 am | #

    This isn’t like Scrubs for a few reasons:

    -Protagonist is likable.
    -Still good after the sixth year.

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      February 3, 2018 at 4:05 pm | #

      What do you mean the protagonist isn’t likable? Jan Itor was beloved by each and every viewer of Scrubs!

      …

      ….

      What do you mean the janitor wasn’t the protagonist of Scrubs?!?!?!

  68. Kitsunekun
    Kitsunekun
    February 3, 2018 at 9:27 am | #

    Okay so it’s “sweetest friend” not “Swedish friend” good to know.

    Aren’t misheard lyrics fun?

    • Clif
      Clif
      February 3, 2018 at 10:22 am | #

      It was originally Swedish friend, but the lyrics got written down wrong and nobody ever bothered to correct it.

  69. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    February 3, 2018 at 9:32 am | #

    DAAAAYUM, You Willis!

    • David DeLaney
      David DeLaney
      February 4, 2018 at 8:10 am | #

      i approve of this commatic insertionary procedure

      –Dave, pleaz hold it ready to apply when necessary

  70. miina
    miina
    February 3, 2018 at 10:03 am | #

    I have headcanon that one day Billie and Ruth are going to figure it out a little more and they’ll go out to a real swanky restaurant with Ruth in a nice sleek suit and Billie in some slinky backless dress and they’ll be able to genuinely enjoy it for its sensual merits rather than feeling like they need to do it to be real.

  71. David T. Shaw
    David T. Shaw
    February 3, 2018 at 10:05 am | #

    Mr. Willis, when you write “COME STOP ME” is that a challenge, or a plea for help? 8)

    • Clif
      Clif
      February 3, 2018 at 10:18 am | #

      Neither. He’s taunting us with our addiction to his Web comic so that we can completely realize how powerless we are.

  72. hof1991
    hof1991
    February 3, 2018 at 10:31 am | #

    Geeat wrapup to this arc. Great panel choices to match a heartbreaking song. That it is Danny on uke playing along gets lost and the effect is timeless and mainly in our heads. Showed us a little and let us fill in the blanks. Perfect song – one most people know and we get to create it as the original or the Cash version (I only saw the original after loving the Cash cover).

    Resolution. Just about none. Will Sarah stop cynically using her sweetest friend? Do Ruth and Billie have a chance at a real relationship? Will Dorothy and Amber heal each other? Doesn’t your heart break for Walky and his empire? Will Sal stop hurting and pushing away everyone? A very strong piece of storytelling and sequential art.

    It clarifies all that has happened in the strip today, summarizes it and sets the stage from breaking our hearts again in a new day.

  73. ozzi
    ozzi
    February 3, 2018 at 11:12 am | #

    In case if nobody has yet.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAM-vV74EN0

  74. Hythrain
    Hythrain
    February 3, 2018 at 11:53 am | #

    Is anyone not going to point out that the song Hurt was first made by Nine Inch Nails? I mean, yea, the Cash version is better, but still.

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      February 3, 2018 at 4:08 pm | #

      Considering today’s comment field has a long discussion on the nature of covers, I think it’s safe to say….

      …That we got that one covered.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        February 6, 2018 at 4:04 pm | #

        Emperor puts on sunglasses while loud high pitched scream is heard.

  75. acher4
    acher4
    February 3, 2018 at 12:20 pm | #

    The last strips with Sal/Danny the song and the ending, are just masterfull!
    I love them!

  76. Borg
    Borg
    February 3, 2018 at 12:29 pm | #

    And here I thought she was singing nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt.”

  77. Historyman68
    Historyman68
    February 3, 2018 at 12:49 pm | #

    Nobody mentioned so far, but there’s even a more direct parallel with “Hurt“ playing over the season finale of Rick & Morty montage, isn’t there? This one feels a bit more “earned,” though.

  78. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    February 3, 2018 at 2:15 pm | #

    Also, today Willis is attending his sister’s wedding… And apparently, some of the songs played in the reception has been used in Scrubs (unless he’s just fooling around on Twitter because the reception is boring).

    Assuming he’s not fooling, and assuming he did not plan this strip to go up today because he had a feeling his sister would use songs related to Scrubs in her wedding… Then we are talking about a pretty nice coincidence to have this strip go up today.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      February 6, 2018 at 4:06 pm | #

      This is Willis. There. Are. No. Coincidences.

  79. nlips
    nlips
    February 3, 2018 at 2:54 pm | #

    Poor Walky. Now he has no chicken nuggets AND no sexy times. The emptiness of the box matches the emptiness of his heart.

  80. maninblack
    maninblack
    February 3, 2018 at 9:12 pm | #

    Ok have to ask the Nine Inch Nails style or Johnny Cash style?

    • adjudicus
      adjudicus
      February 3, 2018 at 9:34 pm | #

      Alt text says Johnny cash

  81. Beef
    Beef
    February 3, 2018 at 11:16 pm | #

    Semi-related note Hulu is removing scrubs in a few days and that’s terrible 🙁

  82. Carol
    Carol
    February 4, 2018 at 12:43 am | #

    Fuck, Dorothy and Walky’s “pause” didn’t hit me until now…I had a freshman bf who would do these kinds of pauses without telling me to focus on his school work so my initial reaction was ‘at least they agree on it’. I think I also feel sympathy for Walky because I’m food averse (pregnant) right now and can’t fathom eating so much without being horribly ill.

    • rectilinearpropagation
      rectilinearpropagation
      February 4, 2018 at 1:08 am | #

      Sending sympathy your way. I was food adverse through nearly all of my pregnancy (I actually lost weight). You do regain the ability to enjoy food though so hang in there!

  83. Kella
    Kella
    February 5, 2018 at 6:17 pm | #

    Willis, everyone knows the lyrics aren’t “my sweetest friend” in the Cash version but “My swedish friend.”

    Go back and listen. Try to hear anything different.

  84. Roborat
    Roborat
    February 6, 2018 at 4:07 pm | #

    Sir Willis, I have to say, this is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

Joyce and Joe?

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