doo-da doo dooo, doo-da doot doot doot!
The Dumbing of Age Book 13 Kickstarter is in its final THREE days! It ends Tuesday night at 11:45pm Eastern, and as of this writing we’re under… $300 from unlocking LYLE, the twelfth character magnet! And a potential bonus thirteenth magnet (JENNIFER) unlocks at $55K, but that might be cutting it closer.
Anyway: My Peer Group’s Smoochy Chart Is Basically Now An Ouroboros will collect the thirteenth year of Dumbing of Age, spanning the four storylines that start on August 22, 2022, and complete on August 15, 2023. This includes strip commentary, behind-the-scenes artwork, and new character designs into a 218-page tome with luxurious glossy paper all bound up into a sturdy, full-color presentation. It’s fancy! There’s 24 Patreon bonus strips collected! There’s rejected strips! There’s… laundry!
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but Becky’s, like, ENTIRE college experience has been rad college mischief stuff tho, while Dotty’s only had last night and the occasional bone
oh and getting kidnapped
Dorothy deserves to be apart of not-always-threatening rad college mischief stuff too! Well, actually, they all do…
Hm… getting kidnapped is not exactly rad? And also, it’s definitely mischief, perpetrated by someone… but is it really college mischief?
To paraphrase one Sergeant Schlock: “Sometimes you have mischief, and sometimes the mischief has you.”
never said it was rad, just that it’s what Dotty’s had so far
I feel like having the looming spectre of homelessness and your evil dad hanging over you for the first semester undercuts a lot of the rad college mischief
This is true. T_T
idk… https://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/counterbalance/
Becky’s entire college experience has been rad college mischief stuff, BECAUSE she likes being invited to rad college mischief stuff! There is no contradiction here, I don’t know what you’re on about buddy.
Unless you mean to suggest that there is somehow an UPPER LIMIT on how much rad college mischief stuff which Becky can enjoy before getting tired of it, a laughable concept that she would easily dismiss as nonsense.
Only a Debbie Downer wouldn’t love rad college mischief stuff and we all know Becky isn’t like that.
Surely there are more ways to do college mischief than underage drinking!
…okay I can’t think of any right now but there gotta be something.
I mean, it’s drinking or it’s sex, and Joyce is in a monogamous relationship
and streaking!
Becky is of course able to see very clearly that Dorothy is just horny.
Which is pretty much just the usual, honestly.
I think she is sad, lonely, and regretful. Despite what most of the cast seems to think, Dorothy’s behavior is dictated by systems more complex than those of flatworms (though she can’t regenerate if you cut her in half, so I guess the winner there is unclear).
Well, when a decision is made, many will say if it was good or bad, but there will always be consequences.
And it is possible that all that you mention about Dorothy is present, but let’s hope that she manages to overcome these adversities, Dorothy also deserves to have her great moments.
I feel that the alt-text is literal, Becky’s track record with keeping secrets is not great so if she could elucidate it, we would probably know it.
When has Becky been bad at keeping secrets?
Becky wears her heart on here sleeve, and is absolutely incapable of keeping anything secret.
Except when she wants to.
She managed to keep her sexuality secret for 18 years.
Not really, the moment she learnt enough to conceptualize and verbalize that she likes girls she ran away from her Christian school and towards Joyce.
My theory: Becky is EXTREMELY good at keeping secrets from HERSELF. Like, she’s one of those people who, whenever she feels that some piece of knowledge is inconvenient to her, can just stuff it down into the depths of her brain and simply refuse to think about it until it becomes convenient again. Mind you, this is entirely different from Joyce’s typical mode of repression, because unlike Joyce, Becky actually CAN retrieve that knowledge extremely easily and all at once, once her brain thinks it’s safe to do so. Which was probably incredibly useful when she was living with her Dad! But it also means that secret-keeping is still a very all-or-nothing deal for her.
So, she kept her lesbian feelings completely under wraps, right up until she met a lady actually attracted to her, and then she immediately started making out with that lady and got caught. Then, while at Anderson, she was able to completely re-bury those feelings and pretend everything was normal until she decided that, based on the evidence, Joyce must be gay too, at which point she just came out to everyone as loudly as possible. And of course, when she tried to keep her and Dina’s act of coitus secret, it just kinda…didn’t work. She couldn’t just forget about it, because Dina was always with her, and Dina already knew. So pretty much her only option was to avoid Joyce while she shouted her “secret” to everybody within earshot.
To this I can only say: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-10/01-birthday-pursuit/everybodyeverything/
I stand corrected.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/monitor/
Re: alt-text
Secret secret? 👀
celestial sprites elucidate / all my own striving can’t relate
–Dave, part of a math in-joke, see Martin Gardner
Delicious :9
I do believe Becky when she says she’s not jealous in a romantic sense. It’s definitely a complicated and messy sort of jealous that she has going on, but I don’t think she’s still in love with Joyce at all.
That is where I am on it, yeah.
If I had to guess, it’s not that Becky is “jealous” of Dorothy in the romantic sense, but she came to terms with Joyce not liking her because she believed Joyce to be straight, something she can accept at this point. Joyce and Dorothy becoming an item means Joyce’s rejection of Becky wasn’t for the reason she thought and might add a new hurt to an old wound.
Could be wrong, but it seems plausible.
I think that’s a correct reading of the situation. And being upset that Joyce “could be gay for Dorothy but not for Becky” lends to Becky’s feelings of inadequacy and feeling like she can’t be loved. Which clearly, Dina loves her, and Becky loves her too, I just think her feelings are pretty deep seated (and clearly tied to her parents) and needed true self-reflection to work through rather than her usual Becky-isms.
If Becky ends up becoming obsessed with this, Dina could be hurt.
Pretty much. The main problem here is that Dina doesn’t seem to be Nr. 1 person for Becky. She is so obsessed with Joyce that she does not realize who she should be focusing on.
I was bullied in primary school. Heavily, for 3 years. It decimated my self-esteem and I was suicidally depressed by the time I was 10 but I bottled it up for 6 years on the off-chance other people might actually mean it and would care if I was there or not before my grip on the “reasons to live” list slipped. After that I kinda figured I needed to face my demons, it took about 5 months to have an “I don’t hate myself, I’m not actually completely loathable and irredeemable” breakthrough but things were still kinda shaky for a few years.
Fast forward another two decades. I’m married to an amazing man, and have the best 3 kids in the world. We’ve had our ups and downs, but life is good. I have my share of chronic health issues, but also have a career I enjoy at an understanding employer where I feel reasonably securely employed.
And my dad started talking in a group chat with my mum and husband and basically said that they never knew about the bullying at the time. The incident that I reminded him about (because I could reasonably accurately date it because I lost a chunk of hair that lost about 7 years to grow out as a result) when he told me to go and talk to my regular teacher because it had happened right under the nose of a substitute, apparently he hasn’t realised it had been part of an ongoing issue or that the teacher had made me feel like I was doing something wrong by bringing it up… (Maybe if he’d FOLLOWED UP ON THIS? Or just not ordered a 9 year old off to go talk to a teacher about the bullying problem she was struggling with without any back-up in the first place??).
Add in some gaslighting and some extra victim-blaming…
Apparently, they’d thought I was happy. Possibly right up until he had to come and get me from the hospital at 16…
I’d always thought they did their best. It was ineffectual, it felt like my mum was trying to dismiss and underplay it when I brought it up (when I was quite a bit older and understood more about her upbringing I suspect this is coz of some childhood trauma on her part – if she let herself recognise that what I went through was that bad, she’d need to recognise the same about her own life), and my father gave me “advice” along the lines of “if you hit them back hard enough they’ll leave you alone” and “don’t give them a reaction, that’s what they want” (which on the one hand… When I was 10, not giving them a reaction and the knowledge that I was in my last year at that school were the two factors keeping me going? On the other hand, I really struggled to let people in when it was safe to do so again, what with the trauma, learnt self-hatred, depression and all) – he claimed the other week that these conversations never happened, I never tried to tell him what was going on, if I think they did/remember them, maybe these things happened in a dream.
So the bullying: ancient history, I’ve dealt with the damage from it and it stopped defining me when I was 20, 21 (so only a decade or so after escaping that environment). Had to reprocess it a bit more as a parent, because the idea of people hurting these precious, amazing people you treasure and love beyond words the way other people hurt you is terrible, but I think that’s just I don’t want my kids hurting, and the idea of other people not seeing how wonderful thet are is baffling, and deliberate cruelty is rubbish all around.
My tween and teen depression… Largely dealt with. I get SAD but usually just want to hibernate. Some blips as an adult. Still very much struggle to ask for help when I need it. Have people in my life who I trust mean it when they say that they are there for me whenever, no matter what, who I love and respect, though, and am working on it. Husband actively checks in on me when he knows I’m not OK, too, and respectfully suggests and talks me through things that could help.
The concept that my parents didn’t just miss the severity of my misery and between that and fewer services being available back then, left me to truck on a bit more than ideal, but that they thought I was happy when I thought I was utterly worthless?? That maybe, if I had an adult in my life who was remotely checked in to my emotions or mental wellbeing, who listened when I talked, who advocated for me and wouldn’t let people tell me I was being a problem when I was trying to tell them that there was a problem being rug-swept, maybe, just MAYBE, I could have moved schools at 8 or 9, or been given other effective support and things could.have been different. Maybe I could have reached double digits with self-esteem. Maybe I wouldn’t have spent the majority of my childhood that I remember hating myself. Maybe I wouldn’t have those neural highways for depression set up in my brain now.
And that’s NEW hurt from old wounds. I didn’t think of my parents as neglectful at the time, I thought they were doing their best.
But having experience now as a parent of a sensitive 9 year old who doesn’t want to be a bother and sometimes needs to have things coaxed out of her – YOU CAN TELL WHEN A CHILD IS NOT OK. How fucking dare they??
So yes, adding new hurt to old wounds is very possible. I don’t currently want to talk to my parents at all because I can’t believe that they can wound me like that and also NOT REALISE THAT THEY HAVE DONE IT… Husband has pointed out that oblivious, insensitive and actually pretty offensive isn’t exactly off-brand for them… But it’s still a pretty egregious example and I’m struggling to process it.
Genuinely with respect and kindness, I stopped reading partway through because this feels like something to bring up in therapy rather than a webcomic comment section.
It didn’t seem to be even a little bit related to the comic above. Maybe that’s just my reading of it though.
She is obviously hurt, let her talk if she wants – it doesn’t hurt you. I mean, no body here is a substitute for a trained professional, but the beauty of the web is you can get that stuff out and nobody will ever know who you are.
A person just poured their soul out here – that means something.
“Let her talk” I’m not stopping her?
I don’t think this is the right place for it, so I said so. That also doesn’t hurt anyone.
Fair enough. I guess I just felt you comment lacked sympathy when she seemed to be seeking it, but I also realize that it is difficult to convey such a thing in pure text and that I am not especially skilled at deciphering tone from the written word, so I am likely just misreading things. Sorry about that.
She was Joyce’s best friend up until college, and Dotty usurped that spot. I know that’s a harsh word to use, but in Becky’s head, that’s how she see’s it. Joyce is *also* basically the only family she has left, which is another big issue that’s going to cause a ruckus eventually.
If Joyce pulls the Bi card now, that’s another big blow to Becky, because that means Joyce chose Dotty over her twice.
Doesn’t mean Becky’s actually *right* about any of it, but it is a good bet that’s where her head is going.
It might cause a self esteem issue because Dina’s pants euphoria isn’t explicitly (Hah) tied to Becky as such either.
I’m not putting a label on Dina, but she’s generally ace from my understanding, and that can sometimes be a hard thing for a non-ace person to wrap their head around, and can cause a fair bit of conflict in the romanical areas of things.
And that’s exactly why Joyce makes things clear, she knows what Becky is like, although there may be things she doesn’t fully know about her childhood friend and it’s very likely that if all of this comes to a boiling point, it will be revealed. in a quite damaging way.
Honestly I’m pretty damn sure that Becky is 90% truthful here! She really is mad about what she said she was mad about, which is Being Left Out. She’s over Joyce romantically, she’s all-in for Dina, but Joyce is still her “most important friend ever”, her rock in a storm, etc etc etc.
And yeah, college hijinks are dumb and not a big deal, but they’re a milestone Becky has talked at length about wanting to have with Joyce before, and now OOPS, here’s DOTTY and her stupid EMOTIONS and MAYBE BISEXUALITY fucking it up, excluding her, and it sucks. So she falls back on what she knows; her bitter self-declared rivalry behavior. It’s using an old, annoying mechanism to deal with a new thing she doesn’t like.
Dorothy, on the other hand, is telling on herself. Girl no. Please. Walky has put up a flag saying “I’m Just Not That Into You Anymore” that’s visible from space. Girl I am WORRIED for your HEARTBREAK.
Walky gaining self respect is not what I had in the characterization bingo but here we are.
Hmmm. I don’t really want to use the term “self-respect” because I don’t think there was anything wrong with Dotty/Walky that couldn’t have been solved by meeting each other where they both were but it is Dumbing, as they say
Rather I think it’s more, uh, he was hyperfixated on Dorothy and his relationship last semester, which is a lot of why its ending crushed him so bad, because he was hyperfixated on their mutual feelings and being “worthy” of her (thanks Linda, thanks Charles!!!)
And now he’s in a different place, he’s experiencing new feelings for a different girl, and also he just spent several long weeks in a relationship he was not fixated on in an ADHD sense, one that he found himself doing a lot of emotional heavy lifting very quickly, and one he kind of found more obligated to keep up than deeply invested in, and it was exhausting for him.
So the idea of picking things back up with Dorothy, as much as he cares about her, also seems exhausting. Plus he finally confronted Linda on being a Shithead! He needs his emotional spoons!
…I said all this bullshit and then realized what you meant about self-respect may have been about him confronting Linda, so lol, if so disregard.
I mean, its a little of both really.
Dotty basically used him as a dildo, then caught feels, rolled it back, and pulled him back in again and he just rolled with it because he’s Walky. He fixated on Dotty being so much “better” then him, and it just felt… icky all around. He was a doormat because she was “too good” for him.
And he was basically a doormat for his mom. Him learning how to *not* be a doormat, and have some self respect, has been refreshing.
Hey, I think that was all very insightful, though! Just because it wasn’t necessarily what @GhollaHelleck was talking about doesn’t mean it was bullshit!
It’s painful to read because Becky is unlikely to be invited if she keeps doing the rivalry bit. And then because she’s excluded and hurt she doubles down on it. I think it would have been kinder to call her out on it back when it first started. If she had worked through her feelings back then, she could be real friends with both Joyce and Becky, and they would probably all be doing this stuff together.
She did call her a ‘friend stealing hussy’ right at the beginning i think. but yeah a childhood friend being distant from someone new is something that’d happen even if they had more ppl in their life
Not sure if this is Becky continuing to have an unhealthy obsession with Joyce’s other friends or if she’s actually dead on the money about Dorothy’s motivations. Might be a bit of both.
Also I said “other friends” so yeah, sure, obligatory hacked muzak bit
I think she figured that Dorothy still likes Walky, and her hanging out with Walky instead of Joyce means Becky won’t have to be jealous.
In fact, the night before she said that it depended on him, from the way Dorothy said it it is understood that she still has feelings for him (yes, I prefer that they come back), but right now Walky has to clarify things with Lucy, and Dorothy also has a lot to clarify, so we just have to wait and see how things will be later.
Lucy has been pretty transparent, and like, most of what Walky has to say is “sorry about my racist parents and not havin’, uh, super intense feelings for ya. I feel bad about it. Okay cool byyyyye”
Maybe someone could mention to Becky that this was not just “hanging out”; it was an intervention.
Before I click the link, is this from the encore season of Steven Universe? Because that would fit very well with what we’re seeing here. Later< Yep, that's what I thought it was.
The movie actually.
Becky being her usual awful self doesn’t mean she cannot be insightful about other people. Especially if doing so helps mask that awfulness.
This is Becky’s semi-harmful attitude becoming a full-blown issue.
It’s been an issue for a long time now
“Friendstealinghusseysayswhat”
It’s not out of character for Becky to hatch a scheme here. She could get Walky and Dorothy to meet cute, have wacky misunderstandings, trip and fall onto each other’s genitalia
Falling into each other’s junk has me thinking of those Neutrogena commercials where they throw water into their faces.
Or the old Reese’s Peanut butter cups ads. “Hey! Your chocolate got in my peanut butter!”
Becky thinks that Dotty and Walky might be two great tastes that taste great together.
while Joyce just wants to, er, see whether they do
re the first question, I see a denial, but not an answer.
She was with her literally last night though.
Plus Becky knowing Walky wasn’t over at Amber’s shows she did actually check on Dina this morning.
Walky was, however, at Amber’s last night.
Real subtle, Becky. Imagine if you were Joyce then, being invited to the dryer sesh and the drinkfest. *plays Hey Jealousy*
wait, would Joyce be
Well a certain subset of people would be happy, or happier.
Do I believe the subtext was that Dorothy was experiencing a Joyce Awakening? Yes.
Do I recognize that that means Becky’s……THIS ness is, at least, narratively justified? Proceeding from the original premise, yes.
Do I give Becky credit and stop considering this behavior annoying? Absolutely I do not.
Well maybe if Becky wasn’t such a bongo to Dorothy she might have been invited at some point
Dorothy probably enjoyed not having Becky around, probably allowed her to be more open and vulnerable and not have to worry about any snarky comments from Becky
Very, very, very this.
Of course. Joyce didn’t want her around. Or anyone else, but that included her.
I am really hoping someone points this out to Becky, but my expectations are low.
I’m trying to put myself in Joyce’s shoes, seeing a friend behaving seriously out-of-character, being concerned for her, trying to help, meeting resistance, and pausing to bring in someone who has declared herself said friend’s enemy, but somehow I just can’t see it.
OK, I read again, and that’s kinda what you said.
Sure, but Becky doesn’t know that was the motivation, just that they went out for rad college hijinks without her.
That’s what’s so sad about this, Becky could easily be joining in on rad college hijinks but her insecurity and family issues are holding her back
She was improving there for awhile so I hope this is just a one off
Honestly, I don’t think it really was this time. This was specifically about Joyce trying to pull Dorothy out of her funk and find out what was wrong with her. Even without Becky’s issues, that’s probably not something you’d want to bring someone else along for.
It’s definitely an issue on a larger scale, but not for this particular event.
Oh for sure, definitely not appropriate for Becky to be there this time but more rad hijinks in general
It doesn’t even really matter what the reason for this particular event was. Just in general, Becky’s jealousy-driven one-sided nemeses bullshit is forcing Joyce to choose between including Becky or including Dorothy, because when she tries to include them both, Becky makes a scene of (sometimes literally) pushing Dorothy away, haha just a joke (not really). But that choice isn’t always going the way Becky wants, which just makes her more jealous.
Part of the issue is that Joyce and Dorothy (and others) can see that Beckys behaviour but they’ve to some degree enabled Becky’s behaviour and you can understand why to a degree but why should Becky change her behaviour when it’s tolerated
It’s tough but at some point Joyce and Dina (the only two Becky will listen to) will have to talk to Becky about her behaviour towards Joyce and Dorothy
I mean, it’s actively counterproductive, even looking at it strictly from Becky’s viewpoint. She’s not only forcing Joyce to choose between them, I don’t think the way Becky treats Dorothy is encouraging Joyce to make her choice Becky.
It probably wouldn’t have mattered in this specific case, but on future occasions, Joyce’ll be thinking, “I could go out with Becky and Dorothy… but then Becky will spend the entire night banging on the bongos every time Dorothy tries to say something. Maybe I’ll just go with Dorothy instead…”
(Also, I accidentally reported you when I tried to reply. Sorry.)
That’s OK, don’t report me next time you want to and it’ll even itself out
Becky looks so extra stylish and cool in this strip
Wow, I’m impressed that both of them are managing to so poorly conceal their underlying concerns AT THE SAME TIME
The circle is now complete. You were once the Beckxiler; now you are the Beckxcluded.
Avast Ye Salty Dogs
Well, at least both Becky AND Dorothy are starting to finally confront their issues.
Can someone please explain to my autistic self why Dorothy is looking for Amber
She’s not. i think she actually is trying to figure out if Walky and Amber have gotten back together without outright asking that; Becky called it and Dorothy is pretending otherwise. Dina, as Amber’s roommate, would know and might have told Becky as part of morning conversation, whether Amber had or has a boy in their room.
This. She still wants Walky, and she caught him in Amber’s room playing video games with her, so she’s low-key trying to figure out if it’s more than that.
She’s trying to find out if Amber has rekindled her relationship with Walky
And this is why I have an issue with Becky, back again after a long stretch of her being bearable.
Joyce is allowed to have friends that aren’t Becky. Joyce is allowed to do things without Becky, because for sure Becky has no compunction about doing things without Joyce – it’s always only Joyce who has to Consider Becky’s Feelings, never the reverse. Also, ‘everyone would be happier if you were only friends with Walky’? Yikes. Becky, this strip is a bad look.
Sure, you’re not jealous at all, Becky..
The Bruins just eliminated the Leafs in game 7 at the Garden.
Sorry, Ruth.
For Ruth, that information is basically dirty talk.
She’s a Leafs fan. For her, that destiny was a foregone conclusion.
“Stop getting down to mischief with Joyce, she’s MY not-girlfriend! If anyone’s gonna not-date Joyce it’s gonna be me!”
Becky is the most isolated person in the cast. No home to go to. No family. No income. Joyce is really all she has from her past, from her entire life before a couple months ago. Dina is her college girlfriend but Joyce is her lifeline. This isn’t insulting to Dina. But it’s not balanced. Joyce doesn’t need Becky the same way. Her life is much less precarious.
Becky st least has a small income.
True: she works at Galasso’s, right?
Is it possible that Dorothy’s curiosity about Amber is legit because Amazi-girl showed up last night and Dorothy is curious what that means for Amber? Everyone is so ready to read it as Dorothy hooked on Walky, but there IS another explanation
I don’t know how anybody could interpret this conversation any other way tbh. Dorothy is willfully oblivious to what Becky thinks this conversation is about. Becky is interpreting everything through the lens of that, though, because it’s the part that she won’t admit to herself that she’s hyper-fixated on.
She asked if Amber had any company. It’s hard to read that as wondering about Amazi-Girl.
Boooo people are being weird about Becky again. She’s cute and funny!
I knew the second I saw that blurry Patreon image that people were not going to be normal, because they are almost never normal about Becky and they are especially not normal about Becky interactions with Dorothy.
What does this alleged weirdness look like?
Becky obviously means so much to Joyce but not as much as Joyce means to Becky. Becky notices this and is bitter and jealous. Even if she is or was 100% fully over any romantic thought, she still wants to be her number one, not just in the top few. This is unfair but understandable. Wanting to be more to someone is not uncommon.
Joyce adores Dorothy, admires Sal, has a grumpy big sister in Sarah, a handsome boyfriend in Joe, and a bunch of other people she cares for. She is going to have fun and make memories with lots of people that aren’t Becky while also having moments with her. Becky knows this and is jealous, perhaps even scared (a lot of people have left her life) but will hopefully grow away from it. She has already grown so much.
To Joyce, Becky is the closest thing to a sister she’s aware she has.
To Becky, Joyce is the last remaining part of her life as it was just over a year ago.
I think they’re both afraid of growing apart, and that it may be happening.
They hung out nearly every day for their entire childhood, that kind of closeness is rarely feasible after hitting 18. Not a fun thing to realise however, especially for Becky who has such strong feelings. There are a lot more people that Joyce cares for now but I think she and Becky are closer than ever in some ways. More honest with each other after becoming more honest with themselves.
How many friends other than Dina and Joyce does Becky have, as opposed to acquaintances, rivals, and frenemies?
Becky… you’re starting to act like a bad friend – you aren’t yet, but you’re straddling the line, and it’s not the fun kind of straddling, either :/
Like, there’s a therapist available to you – theoretically your tuition is paying for it, so if you can’t air this out with Joyce, then talk it out with said therapist
They did ‘make up’ over their kraft dinner together but i can imagine the religious stuff putting in another rift even if dina’s also a non believer
Becky is REALLY unhappy about this whole story.
One way o sayin it